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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,878 --> 00:00:12,360 [theme music] 2 00:00:28,550 --> 00:00:30,508 "I love it. 3 00:00:30,639 --> 00:00:34,382 I would not trade you for the world and all its treasures. 4 00:00:34,512 --> 00:00:38,821 For you are my world and I need ought but you. 5 00:00:38,951 --> 00:00:40,866 Your adoring slave, Danny." 6 00:00:45,393 --> 00:00:46,133 "Dearly beloved--" 7 00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:49,614 [door opens] 8 00:01:17,947 --> 00:01:20,080 What are you doing, an imitation of a goldfish? 9 00:01:22,430 --> 00:01:23,866 No. 10 00:01:23,996 --> 00:01:27,696 I was anticipating a kiss from my adoring slave. 11 00:01:27,826 --> 00:01:28,652 Oh. 12 00:01:28,783 --> 00:01:30,873 Well, honey, I'm sorry. 13 00:01:34,833 --> 00:01:36,139 I'm really beat tonight. 14 00:01:36,270 --> 00:01:37,793 Boy, did we work. 15 00:01:37,923 --> 00:01:39,664 I never saw such an audience. 16 00:01:39,795 --> 00:01:41,753 They were on that floor but two hours. 17 00:01:41,884 --> 00:01:44,060 Honestly, two full hours we worked. 18 00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:44,930 Darling? 19 00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:46,758 Boy, what? 20 00:01:46,889 --> 00:01:48,499 Are you busy tomorrow? 21 00:01:48,630 --> 00:01:49,805 No. Why? 22 00:01:49,935 --> 00:01:50,719 Something you want me to do for you? 23 00:01:50,848 --> 00:01:51,633 Mhm. 24 00:01:51,763 --> 00:01:53,113 What's that? 25 00:01:53,243 --> 00:01:55,637 Would you build for me a secret dwelling place 26 00:01:55,767 --> 00:01:59,554 in the pit of your heart, [inaudible],, 27 00:01:59,684 --> 00:02:01,730 warm and safe forever more? 28 00:02:06,038 --> 00:02:09,912 What are you, some kind of nut or something? 29 00:02:10,042 --> 00:02:12,871 Well, you didn't think it was nutty when you wrote this. 30 00:02:13,002 --> 00:02:13,872 When I wrote it? 31 00:02:14,003 --> 00:02:14,743 KATHY: Mhm. 32 00:02:14,873 --> 00:02:15,744 What do you got there? 33 00:02:15,874 --> 00:02:17,528 Listen, honey. 34 00:02:17,659 --> 00:02:21,097 "Beloved, if you should leave me, half my heart would die 35 00:02:21,228 --> 00:02:23,926 and the other half would live only to mourn thy loss." 36 00:02:26,929 --> 00:02:29,061 I wrote that? 37 00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:30,324 These are your love letters, darling. 38 00:02:30,454 --> 00:02:31,325 I take it back. 39 00:02:31,454 --> 00:02:33,892 I'm some kinda nut. 40 00:02:34,023 --> 00:02:36,895 Are you outta your mind keeping that stuff around the house? 41 00:02:37,026 --> 00:02:37,983 What if the kids get a hold of it? 42 00:02:38,114 --> 00:02:39,246 Oh. 43 00:02:39,376 --> 00:02:40,508 What if the neighbors should see it? 44 00:02:40,638 --> 00:02:42,031 That would be embarrassing, you know? 45 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:42,945 Come on. 46 00:02:43,075 --> 00:02:44,120 Why don't you burn them? 47 00:02:44,251 --> 00:02:45,991 I could never do that. 48 00:02:46,122 --> 00:02:47,254 Well, I could do it for you. Let me-- 49 00:02:47,384 --> 00:02:48,472 You will not. Don't you dare. 50 00:02:48,603 --> 00:02:49,734 Well, Kathy, for heaven's sake, 51 00:02:49,865 --> 00:02:51,258 put them where somebody can't find them. 52 00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:52,911 Will you? - They're mine. 53 00:02:53,042 --> 00:02:54,261 Now, you leave them alone. - --a swell place for them. 54 00:02:54,391 --> 00:02:55,262 Put them in the bottom of the East River. 55 00:02:55,392 --> 00:02:57,177 That way, nobody'll find them. 56 00:02:57,307 --> 00:02:58,439 Jeez. 57 00:02:58,569 --> 00:03:00,832 Oh, honey, listen to this. 58 00:03:00,963 --> 00:03:04,009 This one you wrote just before we were married. 59 00:03:04,140 --> 00:03:07,056 "If the pupil of my eye should stray from thee, 60 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,666 I would remove it." 61 00:03:14,542 --> 00:03:17,458 "My precious one, your love will stay 62 00:03:17,588 --> 00:03:21,549 with me til the ageless stars falter in their course 63 00:03:21,679 --> 00:03:24,465 and the sands of the desert grow cold." 64 00:03:24,595 --> 00:03:26,902 Oh my gosh, Kathy. 65 00:03:27,032 --> 00:03:28,251 We gotta burn those letters. 66 00:03:28,382 --> 00:03:29,121 Now, please-- 67 00:03:29,252 --> 00:03:30,514 Don't you dare. 68 00:03:30,645 --> 00:03:31,863 Now, you give me those letter. 69 00:03:31,994 --> 00:03:33,125 What are you saving them for? 70 00:03:33,256 --> 00:03:35,258 They're not government bonds, you know? 71 00:03:35,389 --> 00:03:37,781 They're just second-hand writing paper. 72 00:03:37,913 --> 00:03:39,480 What are you cluttering the house up with them for? 73 00:03:39,610 --> 00:03:41,090 I'm not cluttering up the house. 74 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,831 I keep them in my drawer. 75 00:03:42,961 --> 00:03:44,572 Oh, for heaven's sake. 76 00:03:44,702 --> 00:03:46,269 It's a wonder you haven't got them tied in a pink ribbon. 77 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:49,751 Come on. 78 00:03:49,881 --> 00:03:51,274 That's silly, positively. 79 00:03:51,405 --> 00:03:52,754 What if somebody should read those letters, Kathy? 80 00:03:52,884 --> 00:03:53,668 Give me those letters. 81 00:03:53,798 --> 00:03:55,191 I wanna burn them. 82 00:03:55,322 --> 00:03:56,148 You mean that? 83 00:03:56,279 --> 00:03:58,977 I certainly do. 84 00:03:59,108 --> 00:03:59,978 Well, all right. 85 00:04:00,109 --> 00:04:01,197 If that's the way you feel. 86 00:04:01,328 --> 00:04:03,025 That's exactly the way I feel. 87 00:04:03,155 --> 00:04:04,635 After all, you wrote them. 88 00:04:04,766 --> 00:04:07,595 So if you want to destroy them, why, go right ahead. 89 00:04:07,725 --> 00:04:09,901 Thank you very much, madam. 90 00:04:10,032 --> 00:04:13,470 You're ashamed of our love. 91 00:04:13,601 --> 00:04:16,733 Honey, if it will save you some embarrassment, 92 00:04:16,865 --> 00:04:19,084 do whatever you please with them. 93 00:04:19,214 --> 00:04:21,826 It's not a question of embarrassment. 94 00:04:21,957 --> 00:04:24,873 Now-- now, Kathy, now, don't start that Sarah 95 00:04:25,003 --> 00:04:26,222 Bernhardt routine with me. 96 00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:27,528 Because you're not gonna get away with it. 97 00:04:27,658 --> 00:04:28,964 I'm not. Go ahead and do what you want. 98 00:04:29,094 --> 00:04:31,053 I mean, I like to look at them once in a while 99 00:04:31,183 --> 00:04:32,097 and read them over. 100 00:04:32,228 --> 00:04:34,143 But oh, for goodness' sake, if-- 101 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,711 if you want to destroy them, why, go ahead. 102 00:04:36,841 --> 00:04:39,496 You know, you can destroy the paper. 103 00:04:39,627 --> 00:04:41,846 But you can't destroy my memory. 104 00:04:41,977 --> 00:04:45,937 Every word you wrote is etched in my heart. 105 00:04:48,505 --> 00:04:49,811 So go ahead, darling. 106 00:04:49,941 --> 00:04:50,942 Go on. 107 00:04:51,073 --> 00:04:52,727 burn them. 108 00:04:52,857 --> 00:04:54,642 If it'll make you happy, you-- you can't hurt my feelings. 109 00:04:54,772 --> 00:04:55,599 Go ahead. 110 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:19,319 [romantic music] 111 00:05:37,728 --> 00:05:38,860 Oh, hi, Linda. 112 00:05:38,990 --> 00:05:40,209 Hey, wanna come to the game with me? 113 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,123 No, Rusty. 114 00:05:41,253 --> 00:05:42,603 I'm busy. 115 00:05:42,733 --> 00:05:43,821 Well, what are you doing? 116 00:05:43,952 --> 00:05:45,082 Playing mailman. 117 00:05:45,214 --> 00:05:46,171 Hey, didn't you get in enough trouble 118 00:05:46,302 --> 00:05:48,043 last time you played mailman? 119 00:05:48,173 --> 00:05:50,088 That was because I was using new letters. 120 00:05:50,219 --> 00:05:52,352 This time, I'm only using old ones. 121 00:05:52,482 --> 00:05:54,876 Oh, why don't you forget that and come to the park? 122 00:05:55,006 --> 00:05:56,791 Rusty, you know our code. 123 00:05:56,921 --> 00:05:59,097 Not rain nor sleet nor dark of night 124 00:05:59,228 --> 00:06:02,449 shall stay this courier from his appointed rounds. 125 00:06:02,579 --> 00:06:04,538 You don't even know what that means. 126 00:06:04,668 --> 00:06:05,452 I do too. 127 00:06:05,582 --> 00:06:06,844 What does it mean? 128 00:06:06,975 --> 00:06:08,498 It means I'm supposed to deliver the mail, 129 00:06:08,629 --> 00:06:10,108 except when there's rain or sleet 130 00:06:10,239 --> 00:06:11,327 or when it's dark of night. 131 00:06:14,591 --> 00:06:16,637 You sure you haven't got any old letters? 132 00:06:16,767 --> 00:06:19,640 I'll let you know after I check with my secretary. 133 00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:22,686 I sure do need a lot more letters. 134 00:06:22,817 --> 00:06:23,948 I'll check in mom's room. 135 00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:27,778 [piano music] 136 00:06:27,909 --> 00:06:29,824 [SINGING] Never saw the sun shining so bright. 137 00:06:29,954 --> 00:06:32,783 Never saw things going so right. 138 00:06:32,914 --> 00:06:35,090 Hurrying the days, hurry them by. 139 00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:37,397 When you're in love, my, how they fly. 140 00:06:37,527 --> 00:06:38,963 [doorbell] 141 00:06:39,094 --> 00:06:39,921 Coming. Coming. 142 00:06:40,051 --> 00:06:40,835 Coming. 143 00:06:40,965 --> 00:06:42,097 Coming. 144 00:06:42,227 --> 00:06:43,490 Oh, coming. 145 00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:47,450 [SINGING] Blue skies, all of them gone. 146 00:06:47,581 --> 00:06:50,409 Nothing but blue skies. 147 00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:51,411 How do you do? 148 00:06:51,541 --> 00:06:52,368 Hello? 149 00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:53,935 I'm Jay Sanders from 410. 150 00:06:54,065 --> 00:06:54,849 Yeah? 151 00:06:54,979 --> 00:06:56,764 Is Danny home? 152 00:06:56,894 --> 00:06:58,287 I'm Danny. 153 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,202 You're Danny? 154 00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:03,510 Well, I was when I got up this morning. 155 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,642 I don't get to meet many people in the building. 156 00:07:05,773 --> 00:07:06,817 See, I'm away from home a lot. 157 00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:07,688 I'm a traveling man. 158 00:07:07,818 --> 00:07:08,950 Oh. 159 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:10,517 What can I do for you? 160 00:07:10,647 --> 00:07:12,432 Well, I hope you don't mind my asking, 161 00:07:12,562 --> 00:07:15,130 but could I have your autograph? 162 00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:17,959 Well, certainly. 163 00:07:18,089 --> 00:07:20,048 This is very flattering. 164 00:07:20,178 --> 00:07:21,092 There you are. 165 00:07:26,141 --> 00:07:26,924 Yeah. 166 00:07:27,055 --> 00:07:29,492 Handwriting's the same. 167 00:07:29,623 --> 00:07:31,929 [screaming] My 168 00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:32,843 Nose. 169 00:07:32,974 --> 00:07:35,106 My nose. 170 00:07:35,237 --> 00:07:36,586 you crazy or something? 171 00:07:36,717 --> 00:07:39,197 That's for writing love letters to my wife. 172 00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:49,904 Kathy. 173 00:07:50,034 --> 00:07:52,080 Kathy? 174 00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:53,908 Kathy. 175 00:07:54,038 --> 00:07:57,128 A great big bruiser just came in here and grabbed onto my nose 176 00:07:57,259 --> 00:07:58,608 and he twisted it and twisted it? 177 00:07:58,739 --> 00:07:59,522 You mean like this? 178 00:07:59,653 --> 00:08:01,524 [screaming] 179 00:08:01,655 --> 00:08:02,786 [inaudible] 180 00:08:02,917 --> 00:08:04,266 - Danny, you give me my letters. - What? 181 00:08:04,396 --> 00:08:05,746 Your letters? - Where are my love letters? 182 00:08:05,876 --> 00:08:07,095 How do I know where your letters are? 183 00:08:07,225 --> 00:08:07,965 They're not in my drawer. 184 00:08:08,096 --> 00:08:09,053 They're gone. 185 00:08:09,184 --> 00:08:10,228 And I wanna know where they are. 186 00:08:10,359 --> 00:08:11,534 What is this today? 187 00:08:11,665 --> 00:08:13,144 What is this? 188 00:08:13,275 --> 00:08:16,408 This is my nose, not a doorknob, everybody twisting it. 189 00:08:16,539 --> 00:08:18,585 Give me my love letters and she twists my nose. 190 00:08:18,715 --> 00:08:21,326 And the guy comes in and says-- 191 00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:22,327 oh. 192 00:08:24,895 --> 00:08:26,854 Oh. 193 00:08:26,984 --> 00:08:28,899 I know where one of your letters is. 194 00:08:29,030 --> 00:08:30,466 Where? 195 00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:32,511 That fella come in here and accused me of writing 196 00:08:32,642 --> 00:08:34,601 a love letter to his wife. 197 00:08:34,731 --> 00:08:37,734 Well, are you sure that's one of my letters? 198 00:08:37,865 --> 00:08:39,082 No. 199 00:08:39,213 --> 00:08:41,999 I-- I wrote a love letter to his wife. 200 00:08:42,130 --> 00:08:43,523 Or course it's one of your letters. 201 00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:45,002 Well, how did he get hold of it? 202 00:08:45,133 --> 00:08:46,613 How should I know how he got hold of it? 203 00:08:46,743 --> 00:08:49,137 Well, you said that you wanted to burn all the letters. 204 00:08:49,267 --> 00:08:50,312 She sure got a hold of my nose. 205 00:08:50,442 --> 00:08:51,226 That's all I can say. 206 00:08:51,356 --> 00:08:53,271 [interposing voices] 207 00:08:53,402 --> 00:08:54,142 Mommy. 208 00:08:54,272 --> 00:08:55,056 Nothing. 209 00:08:55,186 --> 00:08:56,536 What do you want? 210 00:08:56,665 --> 00:08:58,189 Mommy, have you got any more of those letters? 211 00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:00,583 I've been playing mailman, but I ran out of mail. 212 00:09:00,714 --> 00:09:01,758 Oh, honey, I'm busy now. 213 00:09:01,889 --> 00:09:02,629 Would you do me a favor? 214 00:09:02,759 --> 00:09:03,978 Go play mail-- mailman? 215 00:09:07,024 --> 00:09:08,286 Come back here, young lady. 216 00:09:10,854 --> 00:09:12,682 You've been playing mailman? 217 00:09:12,813 --> 00:09:14,815 You mean that you delivered all my love 218 00:09:14,945 --> 00:09:16,556 letters all over this building? 219 00:09:16,686 --> 00:09:17,469 Oh, no, Mommy. 220 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:18,558 I didn't do that. 221 00:09:18,688 --> 00:09:19,689 Oh, you didn't? 222 00:09:19,820 --> 00:09:20,995 No. 223 00:09:21,125 --> 00:09:24,172 I just got as far as the seventh floor. 224 00:09:24,302 --> 00:09:26,653 I told you to burn those letters, didn't I? 225 00:09:26,783 --> 00:09:29,046 Didn't I tell you to burn those letters? 226 00:09:29,177 --> 00:09:30,700 Holy smokes. 227 00:09:30,831 --> 00:09:31,483 I won't be able to show my face in the neighborhood. 228 00:09:31,614 --> 00:09:32,354 Go sit down. 229 00:09:32,484 --> 00:09:34,661 Sit down, young woman. 230 00:09:34,790 --> 00:09:35,879 What's the matter with you? 231 00:09:36,010 --> 00:09:37,315 And wipe that smile off your face. 232 00:09:37,446 --> 00:09:39,056 You're in big trouble. 233 00:09:39,187 --> 00:09:42,582 Don't you know it's wrong to take other people's property? 234 00:09:42,712 --> 00:09:43,757 Why did you touch those letters? 235 00:09:43,887 --> 00:09:45,149 But they were old letters. 236 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:47,412 I didn't think anybody wanted them. 237 00:09:47,543 --> 00:09:49,850 Well, then, why didn't you ask first? 238 00:09:49,980 --> 00:09:50,720 Seven floors. 239 00:09:50,851 --> 00:09:52,417 I'm sorry, Mommy. 240 00:09:52,548 --> 00:09:56,160 All those gooey letters spread all over the seven floors. 241 00:09:56,290 --> 00:09:57,901 Seven floors? 242 00:09:58,032 --> 00:10:00,469 How could you deliver those letters to all seven floors? 243 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,470 I work fast. 244 00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:02,602 I'm on special delivery. 245 00:10:02,732 --> 00:10:03,603 Now, you see here-- 246 00:10:08,390 --> 00:10:09,826 What's the matter, Dad? 247 00:10:09,957 --> 00:10:12,829 Your sister has been playing mailman again. 248 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:13,700 What did she do? 249 00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:15,484 What did she do? 250 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,617 She spread your mother's love letters all over the building. 251 00:10:17,747 --> 00:10:19,488 Oh, Linda, how could you do such a thing? 252 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,532 Yes. 253 00:10:20,663 --> 00:10:21,925 How could you do such a thing? 254 00:10:22,056 --> 00:10:23,753 Didn't you know what was in those letters? 255 00:10:23,884 --> 00:10:25,102 Oh, if she knew what was in them, Mom, 256 00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:26,669 she wouldn't've given away. 257 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:27,627 She would've sold them. 258 00:10:27,757 --> 00:10:29,106 Get out of here. 259 00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:38,594 And you too, young woman. 260 00:10:38,725 --> 00:10:40,030 You go to your room. 261 00:10:40,161 --> 00:10:42,293 And stay there until I tell you to come out, 262 00:10:42,424 --> 00:10:45,296 which may be next year. 263 00:10:45,427 --> 00:10:46,689 How do you like that? 264 00:10:46,820 --> 00:10:48,952 Other kids her age wanna be ballet dancers 265 00:10:49,083 --> 00:10:50,084 or school teachers. 266 00:10:50,214 --> 00:10:52,216 Our kid wants to be a mailman. 267 00:10:52,347 --> 00:10:54,915 Danny, you go out and get those letters. 268 00:11:00,137 --> 00:11:02,836 Oh, you gotta be kidding. 269 00:11:02,966 --> 00:11:05,621 That's all I gotta do is go knocking on doors and say, 270 00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:08,145 "excuse me, sir, would you ask your wife to return 271 00:11:08,276 --> 00:11:10,844 my passionate love letter?" 272 00:11:10,974 --> 00:11:14,369 If I'm lucky, I'll get out of the hospital by Christmas. 273 00:11:14,499 --> 00:11:16,414 Well, there must be some way. 274 00:11:16,545 --> 00:11:18,199 I want my love letters back. 275 00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:19,679 I'll write you new ones. 276 00:11:19,809 --> 00:11:22,072 Oh, it wouldn't be the same. 277 00:11:22,203 --> 00:11:24,118 When you wrote those, you were young and eager. 278 00:11:27,991 --> 00:11:30,994 So now, I'm old and eager. 279 00:11:31,125 --> 00:11:32,604 [doorbell] 280 00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:33,475 Now, who is that? 281 00:11:33,605 --> 00:11:35,738 I don't know. 282 00:11:35,869 --> 00:11:37,348 Oh, Mr. Webb, is it? 283 00:11:37,479 --> 00:11:38,262 Yes. 284 00:11:38,393 --> 00:11:39,437 Harry Webb, 601. 285 00:11:39,568 --> 00:11:40,961 Yes. 286 00:11:41,091 --> 00:11:45,400 Say I got a letter here and I think your husband-- 287 00:11:45,530 --> 00:11:47,228 I don't know how it got into our mailbox. 288 00:11:47,358 --> 00:11:49,404 But I checked the building directory. 289 00:11:49,534 --> 00:11:51,754 And your husband is the only one in the building named Danny. 290 00:11:51,885 --> 00:11:53,147 So I thought you'd like to have it back. 291 00:11:53,277 --> 00:11:54,061 Oh, yes, I would. 292 00:11:54,191 --> 00:11:55,018 Thank you very much. 293 00:11:55,149 --> 00:11:56,759 That's all right. 294 00:11:56,890 --> 00:11:59,327 I'd appreciate it an awful lot, Mr. Webb if you'd forget 295 00:11:59,457 --> 00:12:01,242 you ever read that letter. 296 00:12:01,372 --> 00:12:04,898 Mr. Williams, I make it a habit of never 297 00:12:05,028 --> 00:12:07,422 reading other people's mail. 298 00:12:07,552 --> 00:12:08,336 Well, that's nice. 299 00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:09,598 That's very nice. 300 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:12,557 Well, I guess I better be going. 301 00:12:12,688 --> 00:12:14,690 So-- sorry if we put you through any trouble. 302 00:12:14,821 --> 00:12:16,213 No trouble at all. 303 00:12:16,344 --> 00:12:20,043 Oh, Mrs. Williams, would you do me a favor? 304 00:12:20,174 --> 00:12:20,957 A favor? 305 00:12:21,088 --> 00:12:22,306 Yes, please. 306 00:12:22,437 --> 00:12:23,960 Would you look at your husband? 307 00:12:24,091 --> 00:12:24,874 Look at him? 308 00:12:25,005 --> 00:12:26,397 Yes. 309 00:12:26,528 --> 00:12:27,747 Just take a-- a good, long look at your husband. 310 00:12:27,877 --> 00:12:28,748 I wanna check something. 311 00:12:28,878 --> 00:12:29,966 Please? - Well-- 312 00:12:30,097 --> 00:12:30,880 If you don't mind. 313 00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:31,925 All right. 314 00:12:34,492 --> 00:12:35,406 Uh huh. 315 00:12:38,322 --> 00:12:41,151 Uh huh. 316 00:12:41,282 --> 00:12:42,631 Yeah. 317 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,285 Thank you both very much. 318 00:12:44,415 --> 00:12:46,678 Mr. Webb, what-- 319 00:12:46,809 --> 00:12:48,289 what were you checking? 320 00:12:48,419 --> 00:12:52,119 Well, I wanted to see the rays from her emerald eyes 321 00:12:52,249 --> 00:12:55,383 pierce your heart with shafts of love. 322 00:13:04,740 --> 00:13:06,220 Thank you very much for returning it. 323 00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:08,091 We'd've brought them back sooner, Mr. Williams, 324 00:13:08,222 --> 00:13:10,311 but we wanted to read them to our English class first. 325 00:13:13,053 --> 00:13:15,838 You-- you read-- read them to the English class? 326 00:13:15,969 --> 00:13:17,187 Oh, yes. 327 00:13:17,318 --> 00:13:18,798 Our teacher thought they were very good, 328 00:13:18,928 --> 00:13:22,105 especially the part where you said "your shoes 329 00:13:22,236 --> 00:13:28,242 are not shoes, but jewel cases for your tiny princess feet." 330 00:13:28,372 --> 00:13:30,418 And She liked the way you said, 331 00:13:30,548 --> 00:13:36,424 "Your hair is not hair, but a crown for your royal beauty." 332 00:13:36,554 --> 00:13:39,775 Our teacher thinks you write just like Cyrano de Bergerac. 333 00:13:42,473 --> 00:13:43,735 And you look just like him too. 334 00:13:48,392 --> 00:13:50,307 So I says to myself, I says, whoever 335 00:13:50,438 --> 00:13:53,397 is the owner of this here letter must want it back real bad. 336 00:13:53,528 --> 00:13:55,443 So I rushed it up here real fast, as soon 337 00:13:55,573 --> 00:13:57,358 as we got through reading it? 338 00:13:57,488 --> 00:13:58,968 We got through reading it? 339 00:13:59,099 --> 00:14:02,929 There he is, the phantom Romeo. 340 00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:05,192 You know, at first, but a few minutes, 341 00:14:05,322 --> 00:14:07,368 I thought it was from my Sal. 342 00:14:07,498 --> 00:14:08,456 He's on the road. 343 00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:09,631 He's in the ladies glove game. 344 00:14:09,761 --> 00:14:11,676 He writes to me quite often. 345 00:14:11,807 --> 00:14:14,331 Handwriting just like Sal. 346 00:14:14,462 --> 00:14:18,292 But when I came to the line "as the quiver of the aspen leaf 347 00:14:18,422 --> 00:14:20,816 hails the coming of the summer breeze, 348 00:14:20,947 --> 00:14:25,429 so does my trembling heart [inaudible] approach," 349 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:26,953 believe me, that ain't Sal. 350 00:14:41,837 --> 00:14:44,405 Danny, you come back in here this instant. 351 00:14:44,535 --> 00:14:46,494 DANNY: Look, I've been cooped up in the house for four days. 352 00:14:46,624 --> 00:14:47,799 I gotta get some air. 353 00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:48,713 You cannot go out looking like that. 354 00:14:48,844 --> 00:14:50,498 - 355 00:14:50,628 --> 00:14:51,716 DANNY: Well, I certainly don't want anybody to recognize me. 356 00:14:51,847 --> 00:14:52,979 You come right back in here, now. 357 00:14:53,109 --> 00:14:54,284 Right now, now, now. 358 00:15:03,163 --> 00:15:04,599 You should be ashamed of yourself. 359 00:15:04,729 --> 00:15:07,384 If you're going to go out, go out like a man. 360 00:15:07,515 --> 00:15:08,908 I am going out like a man. 361 00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:12,346 I just don't want anybody to know which man. 362 00:15:12,476 --> 00:15:15,958 You look like a Lebanese walrus. 363 00:15:16,089 --> 00:15:17,177 Give me back that mustache. 364 00:15:17,307 --> 00:15:19,483 I will not give it back to you. 365 00:15:19,614 --> 00:15:22,878 Now, come on, Kathy, I don't want anybody to recognize me. 366 00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:24,358 Oh, honey. 367 00:15:24,488 --> 00:15:26,186 People laugh at me wherever I go. 368 00:15:26,316 --> 00:15:27,491 Do you think that people have nothing 369 00:15:27,622 --> 00:15:28,797 better to do than laugh at you? 370 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:29,711 Yeah. 371 00:15:29,841 --> 00:15:31,234 They got better to do. 372 00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:34,716 But when they see me, they stop doing it and laugh. 373 00:15:34,846 --> 00:15:37,893 You know, you're making such a big thing out-- out of those 374 00:15:38,024 --> 00:15:39,460 sweet little love letters. 375 00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:42,376 It's embarrassing stepping into a crowded elevator 376 00:15:42,506 --> 00:15:44,421 and watching everybody holding their sides 377 00:15:44,552 --> 00:15:47,598 so they won't start snickering, nudging each other 378 00:15:47,729 --> 00:15:49,687 and say "there he is, Casanova. 379 00:15:49,818 --> 00:15:52,690 There he is, that Romeo, Prince Charming." 380 00:15:52,821 --> 00:15:54,823 I said to the doorman, "get me a cab." 381 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,042 He said, "a cab, sir? 382 00:15:56,172 --> 00:15:57,652 Don't you mean a white horse?" 383 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:04,702 You know, I think I'll see my agent 384 00:16:04,833 --> 00:16:06,356 and see if he can't arrange a tour for me. 385 00:16:06,487 --> 00:16:07,705 What? 386 00:16:07,836 --> 00:16:09,751 Yeah, go away for about a year or so. 387 00:16:09,881 --> 00:16:11,927 By the time I get back here, the lease will be up 388 00:16:12,058 --> 00:16:14,147 and then we can move into another apartment. 389 00:16:14,277 --> 00:16:15,626 [sobbing] 390 00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:19,717 Oh, for goodness' sake. 391 00:16:19,848 --> 00:16:20,762 What are you crying about? 392 00:16:20,892 --> 00:16:22,372 I'll get you another apartment. 393 00:16:22,503 --> 00:16:24,200 That's not what I'm crying about. 394 00:16:24,331 --> 00:16:25,985 Well, what are you crying about? 395 00:16:26,115 --> 00:16:30,554 Well, if you don't know, I'm certainly not gonna tell you. 396 00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:31,512 Where you're going? 397 00:16:31,642 --> 00:16:33,122 I'm going to the market. 398 00:16:33,253 --> 00:16:35,385 Will you please give me back my mustache? 399 00:16:35,516 --> 00:16:36,299 No. 400 00:16:36,430 --> 00:16:37,257 Well, stop crying. 401 00:16:37,387 --> 00:16:40,173 You're getting it all wet. 402 00:16:40,303 --> 00:16:42,697 I don't know what you're crying about. 403 00:16:42,827 --> 00:16:44,090 I'm the one who should be crying. 404 00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:45,613 I'm the goon that wrote those silly letters. 405 00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:46,831 Yes. 406 00:16:46,962 --> 00:16:48,833 And I'm the goon who believed them. 407 00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:03,718 Hello. 408 00:17:03,848 --> 00:17:05,807 Why is Mommy crying? 409 00:17:05,936 --> 00:17:06,676 How do I know? 410 00:17:06,808 --> 00:17:09,593 Why do women cry? 411 00:17:09,723 --> 00:17:11,334 Is Mommy still mad at me? 412 00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:13,075 Well, what do you expect, Linda, 413 00:17:13,205 --> 00:17:16,078 spreading those letters all around the apartment building? 414 00:17:16,209 --> 00:17:17,775 But they were old letters. 415 00:17:17,906 --> 00:17:19,646 They still weren't for other people to read. 416 00:17:25,740 --> 00:17:27,046 Daddy? 417 00:17:27,175 --> 00:17:28,395 Hmm? 418 00:17:28,525 --> 00:17:29,787 Was there something bad in those letters 419 00:17:29,918 --> 00:17:31,528 you wrote to Mommy? 420 00:17:31,659 --> 00:17:33,052 No. No, dear. 421 00:17:33,182 --> 00:17:34,096 There was nothing bad. 422 00:17:34,227 --> 00:17:36,142 It was just something personal. 423 00:17:36,272 --> 00:17:37,795 Personal? 424 00:17:37,926 --> 00:17:41,930 Yeah, sort of a secret between Mommy and me. 425 00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:43,540 Why? 426 00:17:43,671 --> 00:17:46,456 Because, well, they told Mommy how much I love her. 427 00:17:46,587 --> 00:17:49,851 And that's supposed to be a secret, huh? 428 00:17:49,981 --> 00:17:53,942 Well, sorta. 429 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:57,206 Daddy, are you ashamed for people to know you love Mommy. 430 00:17:59,861 --> 00:18:00,992 No. No. 431 00:18:01,123 --> 00:18:02,342 I'm not ashamed. 432 00:18:02,472 --> 00:18:04,431 Why-- why don't you go play, huh? 433 00:18:04,561 --> 00:18:06,041 Grown ups are sure funny. 434 00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:07,521 What? 435 00:18:07,651 --> 00:18:09,088 Gloria's mother and father fight all the time 436 00:18:09,218 --> 00:18:11,438 and the whole building knows about it. 437 00:18:11,568 --> 00:18:13,309 You and Mommy love each other and it's 438 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:15,181 supposed to be a secret. 439 00:18:15,311 --> 00:18:16,182 It's goofy. 440 00:18:22,188 --> 00:18:23,580 Yeah. 441 00:18:23,711 --> 00:18:25,452 Yeah. 442 00:18:25,582 --> 00:18:28,324 Come to think of it, it is goofy. 443 00:18:46,037 --> 00:18:48,736 There's a special on used husbands today. 444 00:18:48,866 --> 00:18:51,347 What are you doing without your disguise? 445 00:18:51,478 --> 00:18:54,829 Kathy, listen, lover, this whole thing 446 00:18:54,959 --> 00:18:56,657 is really very silly. 447 00:18:56,787 --> 00:18:58,876 Aren't you afraid that people might recognize you in public? 448 00:18:59,007 --> 00:18:59,790 Honey, look-- 449 00:18:59,921 --> 00:19:01,531 Oh, be careful. 450 00:19:01,662 --> 00:19:03,794 People might think there's something going on between us. 451 00:19:03,925 --> 00:19:05,274 Now, Kathy, you're just being-- 452 00:19:05,405 --> 00:19:06,580 Oh. 453 00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:08,147 I know I was acting like a fool, dear. 454 00:19:08,277 --> 00:19:09,670 You certainly were. 455 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:10,584 Look, Kathy, all right? 456 00:19:10,714 --> 00:19:11,454 I-- I'm apologizing. 457 00:19:11,585 --> 00:19:12,934 Can't you forgive me? 458 00:19:13,064 --> 00:19:15,937 Any man who is ashamed to let his neighbors 459 00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:20,115 know that he loves his wife doesn't deserve to be forgiven. 460 00:19:20,246 --> 00:19:22,683 Kathy, look, baby. 461 00:19:22,813 --> 00:19:24,119 Sweetheart, listen. 462 00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:26,643 Oh, there you are again, you phantom lover. 463 00:19:26,774 --> 00:19:29,603 Have you written any more letters lately? 464 00:19:29,733 --> 00:19:31,648 I don't have to write letters, Mrs. Green. 465 00:19:31,779 --> 00:19:32,780 I can say it out loud. 466 00:19:32,910 --> 00:19:34,347 I love my wife. 467 00:19:34,477 --> 00:19:35,783 I love my wife very much, ladies and gentlemen. 468 00:19:35,913 --> 00:19:36,697 Danny. 469 00:19:36,827 --> 00:19:37,872 I love you very much. 470 00:19:38,002 --> 00:19:38,786 There she is, my wife. 471 00:19:38,916 --> 00:19:39,874 I love her. 472 00:19:40,004 --> 00:19:41,658 I love that woman, right there. 473 00:19:41,789 --> 00:19:43,399 That's the woman I love. Hello, Mr. Webb. 474 00:19:43,530 --> 00:19:44,357 Have you heard? I love her. 475 00:19:44,487 --> 00:19:46,620 I love her very much. 476 00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:48,274 Oh, Mrs. Schwartz, how are you? 477 00:19:48,404 --> 00:19:49,188 Have you heard? 478 00:19:49,318 --> 00:19:50,232 I love my wife. 479 00:19:50,363 --> 00:19:51,538 I love her. There she is. 480 00:19:51,668 --> 00:19:52,408 I love that woman. 481 00:19:52,539 --> 00:19:55,803 [inaudible] 482 00:20:02,288 --> 00:20:04,768 Will you weigh that for me, please? 483 00:20:04,899 --> 00:20:05,726 I don't think we've met. 484 00:20:05,856 --> 00:20:06,683 My name's Danny Williams. 485 00:20:06,814 --> 00:20:08,163 I love my wife, you know? 486 00:20:08,294 --> 00:20:09,120 There she is right there. 487 00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:10,644 See her, that pretty girl? 488 00:20:10,774 --> 00:20:11,819 I love my wife very much. 489 00:20:11,949 --> 00:20:14,343 Manager, manager, counter four. 490 00:20:14,474 --> 00:20:16,998 Manager, manager, I love my wife. 491 00:20:17,128 --> 00:20:17,868 Hello, everybody. 492 00:20:17,999 --> 00:20:18,826 I love my wife. 493 00:20:18,956 --> 00:20:20,610 This is Danny Williams. 494 00:20:20,741 --> 00:20:21,742 I'm sure you think I'm off my rocker, but I'm not really. 495 00:20:21,872 --> 00:20:23,134 Honestly, I'm not. 496 00:20:23,265 --> 00:20:24,658 Now, my child said to me, my little girl 497 00:20:24,788 --> 00:20:27,748 said to me today, that grown ups are really goofy. 498 00:20:27,878 --> 00:20:30,664 I mean, when they fight, the whole world knows about it. 499 00:20:30,794 --> 00:20:33,449 If they love each other, they wanna keep it a secret. 500 00:20:33,580 --> 00:20:35,190 Now, isn't that goofy? 501 00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:38,280 You know, there's so much hatred in the world, so much hatred 502 00:20:38,411 --> 00:20:39,977 and it gets so much newspaper space and radio 503 00:20:40,108 --> 00:20:41,762 space and television space. 504 00:20:41,892 --> 00:20:44,634 It's about time somebody did a good public relations 505 00:20:44,765 --> 00:20:46,157 job on love. 506 00:20:46,288 --> 00:20:47,724 And I'm the fellow who should do it, because I've 507 00:20:47,855 --> 00:20:48,899 been the chief offender. 508 00:20:49,030 --> 00:20:50,684 Can you imagine me being ashamed? 509 00:20:50,814 --> 00:20:53,164 Ashamed that I love my life? 510 00:20:53,295 --> 00:20:55,210 Imagine a guy with a puss like mine 511 00:20:55,341 --> 00:20:58,648 ashamed to love a girl that looks like that, 512 00:20:58,779 --> 00:20:59,997 the girl in the checkered hat. 513 00:21:00,128 --> 00:21:01,521 There she us. 514 00:21:01,651 --> 00:21:03,523 The redhead, with the mustache. 515 00:21:07,527 --> 00:21:11,313 Anyway, I want the whole world to know that I-- 516 00:21:11,444 --> 00:21:14,447 I love my wife, very much. 517 00:21:14,577 --> 00:21:16,318 Sal, ain't that beautiful? 518 00:21:21,323 --> 00:21:26,328 That's very touching, Mr. Williams, very touching. 519 00:21:26,459 --> 00:21:28,809 Sweet. 520 00:21:28,939 --> 00:21:29,853 Very sweet. 521 00:21:35,424 --> 00:21:37,252 Mrs. Williams, you're such a fortunate person. 522 00:21:55,226 --> 00:21:58,142 [piano music] 523 00:22:01,668 --> 00:22:09,328 [SINGING] Day by day, I'm falling more in love with you. 524 00:22:11,939 --> 00:22:17,118 And day by day, our love seems to grow. 525 00:22:21,078 --> 00:22:26,345 There isn't any end to my devotion. 526 00:22:29,565 --> 00:22:34,614 It's deeper dear, by far, than any ocean. 527 00:22:37,268 --> 00:22:45,842 I find that day by day, you're making 528 00:22:45,973 --> 00:22:48,845 all of my dreams come true. 529 00:22:52,196 --> 00:23:04,165 And come what may, I want you to know, I am yours alone. 530 00:23:06,820 --> 00:23:26,013 And I'm in love to stay as we go through the years, day by day. 531 00:23:40,027 --> 00:23:41,289 Oh, for heaven's sake. 532 00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:43,465 Now, what are you crying about? 533 00:23:43,596 --> 00:23:46,250 Because it's so beautiful. 534 00:23:46,381 --> 00:23:47,164 Darling? 535 00:23:47,295 --> 00:23:48,731 - Mhm? - You know what? 536 00:23:48,862 --> 00:23:50,559 Huh uh. 537 00:23:50,690 --> 00:23:52,605 I'm gonna write all those love letters to you all over again. 538 00:23:52,735 --> 00:23:53,562 Oh. 539 00:23:58,698 --> 00:24:00,221 Oh, goody, we're just in time. Come on. 540 00:24:00,351 --> 00:24:01,440 Hurry up. 541 00:24:01,570 --> 00:24:02,441 Hurry up. 542 00:24:04,530 --> 00:24:05,835 Everybody, sit on the floor. 543 00:24:05,966 --> 00:24:08,229 Linda, what's going on here? 544 00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:09,752 Well, you said you wanted the whole world 545 00:24:09,883 --> 00:24:11,188 to know you love Mommy. 546 00:24:11,319 --> 00:24:12,407 So I'm selling tickets. 547 00:24:12,538 --> 00:24:13,408 Oh. 548 00:24:16,759 --> 00:24:20,067 [theme music] 38042

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