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1
00:00:08,878 --> 00:00:12,360
[theme music]
2
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"I love it.
3
00:00:30,639 --> 00:00:34,382
I would not trade you for the
world and all its treasures.
4
00:00:34,512 --> 00:00:38,821
For you are my world and
I need ought but you.
5
00:00:38,951 --> 00:00:40,866
Your adoring slave, Danny."
6
00:00:45,393 --> 00:00:46,133
"Dearly beloved--"
7
00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:49,614
[door opens]
8
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What are you doing, an
imitation of a goldfish?
9
00:01:22,430 --> 00:01:23,866
No.
10
00:01:23,996 --> 00:01:27,696
I was anticipating a kiss
from my adoring slave.
11
00:01:27,826 --> 00:01:28,652
Oh.
12
00:01:28,783 --> 00:01:30,873
Well, honey, I'm sorry.
13
00:01:34,833 --> 00:01:36,139
I'm really beat tonight.
14
00:01:36,270 --> 00:01:37,793
Boy, did we work.
15
00:01:37,923 --> 00:01:39,664
I never saw such an audience.
16
00:01:39,795 --> 00:01:41,753
They were on that
floor but two hours.
17
00:01:41,884 --> 00:01:44,060
Honestly, two full
hours we worked.
18
00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:44,930
Darling?
19
00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:46,758
Boy, what?
20
00:01:46,889 --> 00:01:48,499
Are you busy tomorrow?
21
00:01:48,630 --> 00:01:49,805
No.
Why?
22
00:01:49,935 --> 00:01:50,719
Something you want
me to do for you?
23
00:01:50,848 --> 00:01:51,633
Mhm.
24
00:01:51,763 --> 00:01:53,113
What's that?
25
00:01:53,243 --> 00:01:55,637
Would you build for me
a secret dwelling place
26
00:01:55,767 --> 00:01:59,554
in the pit of your
heart, [inaudible],,
27
00:01:59,684 --> 00:02:01,730
warm and safe forever more?
28
00:02:06,038 --> 00:02:09,912
What are you, some
kind of nut or something?
29
00:02:10,042 --> 00:02:12,871
Well, you didn't think it
was nutty when you wrote this.
30
00:02:13,002 --> 00:02:13,872
When I wrote it?
31
00:02:14,003 --> 00:02:14,743
KATHY: Mhm.
32
00:02:14,873 --> 00:02:15,744
What do you got there?
33
00:02:15,874 --> 00:02:17,528
Listen, honey.
34
00:02:17,659 --> 00:02:21,097
"Beloved, if you should leave
me, half my heart would die
35
00:02:21,228 --> 00:02:23,926
and the other half would
live only to mourn thy loss."
36
00:02:26,929 --> 00:02:29,061
I wrote that?
37
00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:30,324
These are your love
letters, darling.
38
00:02:30,454 --> 00:02:31,325
I take it back.
39
00:02:31,454 --> 00:02:33,892
I'm some kinda nut.
40
00:02:34,023 --> 00:02:36,895
Are you outta your mind keeping
that stuff around the house?
41
00:02:37,026 --> 00:02:37,983
What if the kids
get a hold of it?
42
00:02:38,114 --> 00:02:39,246
Oh.
43
00:02:39,376 --> 00:02:40,508
What if the neighbors
should see it?
44
00:02:40,638 --> 00:02:42,031
That would be
embarrassing, you know?
45
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:42,945
Come on.
46
00:02:43,075 --> 00:02:44,120
Why don't you burn them?
47
00:02:44,251 --> 00:02:45,991
I could never do that.
48
00:02:46,122 --> 00:02:47,254
Well, I could do it for you.
Let me--
49
00:02:47,384 --> 00:02:48,472
You will not.
Don't you dare.
50
00:02:48,603 --> 00:02:49,734
Well, Kathy,
for heaven's sake,
51
00:02:49,865 --> 00:02:51,258
put them where somebody
can't find them.
52
00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:52,911
Will you?
- They're mine.
53
00:02:53,042 --> 00:02:54,261
Now, you leave them alone.
- --a swell place for them.
54
00:02:54,391 --> 00:02:55,262
Put them in the bottom
of the East River.
55
00:02:55,392 --> 00:02:57,177
That way, nobody'll find them.
56
00:02:57,307 --> 00:02:58,439
Jeez.
57
00:02:58,569 --> 00:03:00,832
Oh, honey, listen to this.
58
00:03:00,963 --> 00:03:04,009
This one you wrote just
before we were married.
59
00:03:04,140 --> 00:03:07,056
"If the pupil of my eye
should stray from thee,
60
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,666
I would remove it."
61
00:03:14,542 --> 00:03:17,458
"My precious one,
your love will stay
62
00:03:17,588 --> 00:03:21,549
with me til the ageless
stars falter in their course
63
00:03:21,679 --> 00:03:24,465
and the sands of the
desert grow cold."
64
00:03:24,595 --> 00:03:26,902
Oh my gosh, Kathy.
65
00:03:27,032 --> 00:03:28,251
We gotta burn those letters.
66
00:03:28,382 --> 00:03:29,121
Now, please--
67
00:03:29,252 --> 00:03:30,514
Don't you dare.
68
00:03:30,645 --> 00:03:31,863
Now, you give me those letter.
69
00:03:31,994 --> 00:03:33,125
What are you saving them for?
70
00:03:33,256 --> 00:03:35,258
They're not government
bonds, you know?
71
00:03:35,389 --> 00:03:37,781
They're just second-hand
writing paper.
72
00:03:37,913 --> 00:03:39,480
What are you cluttering
the house up with them for?
73
00:03:39,610 --> 00:03:41,090
I'm not cluttering
up the house.
74
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,831
I keep them in my drawer.
75
00:03:42,961 --> 00:03:44,572
Oh, for heaven's sake.
76
00:03:44,702 --> 00:03:46,269
It's a wonder you haven't got
them tied in a pink ribbon.
77
00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:49,751
Come on.
78
00:03:49,881 --> 00:03:51,274
That's silly, positively.
79
00:03:51,405 --> 00:03:52,754
What if somebody should
read those letters, Kathy?
80
00:03:52,884 --> 00:03:53,668
Give me those letters.
81
00:03:53,798 --> 00:03:55,191
I wanna burn them.
82
00:03:55,322 --> 00:03:56,148
You mean that?
83
00:03:56,279 --> 00:03:58,977
I certainly do.
84
00:03:59,108 --> 00:03:59,978
Well, all right.
85
00:04:00,109 --> 00:04:01,197
If that's the way you feel.
86
00:04:01,328 --> 00:04:03,025
That's exactly the way I feel.
87
00:04:03,155 --> 00:04:04,635
After all, you wrote them.
88
00:04:04,766 --> 00:04:07,595
So if you want to destroy
them, why, go right ahead.
89
00:04:07,725 --> 00:04:09,901
Thank you very much, madam.
90
00:04:10,032 --> 00:04:13,470
You're ashamed of our love.
91
00:04:13,601 --> 00:04:16,733
Honey, if it will save
you some embarrassment,
92
00:04:16,865 --> 00:04:19,084
do whatever you
please with them.
93
00:04:19,214 --> 00:04:21,826
It's not a question
of embarrassment.
94
00:04:21,957 --> 00:04:24,873
Now-- now, Kathy, now,
don't start that Sarah
95
00:04:25,003 --> 00:04:26,222
Bernhardt routine with me.
96
00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:27,528
Because you're not
gonna get away with it.
97
00:04:27,658 --> 00:04:28,964
I'm not.
Go ahead and do what you want.
98
00:04:29,094 --> 00:04:31,053
I mean, I like to look
at them once in a while
99
00:04:31,183 --> 00:04:32,097
and read them over.
100
00:04:32,228 --> 00:04:34,143
But oh, for goodness' sake, if--
101
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,711
if you want to destroy
them, why, go ahead.
102
00:04:36,841 --> 00:04:39,496
You know, you can
destroy the paper.
103
00:04:39,627 --> 00:04:41,846
But you can't destroy my memory.
104
00:04:41,977 --> 00:04:45,937
Every word you wrote
is etched in my heart.
105
00:04:48,505 --> 00:04:49,811
So go ahead, darling.
106
00:04:49,941 --> 00:04:50,942
Go on.
107
00:04:51,073 --> 00:04:52,727
burn them.
108
00:04:52,857 --> 00:04:54,642
If it'll make you happy, you--
you can't hurt my feelings.
109
00:04:54,772 --> 00:04:55,599
Go ahead.
110
00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:19,319
[romantic music]
111
00:05:37,728 --> 00:05:38,860
Oh, hi, Linda.
112
00:05:38,990 --> 00:05:40,209
Hey, wanna come to
the game with me?
113
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,123
No, Rusty.
114
00:05:41,253 --> 00:05:42,603
I'm busy.
115
00:05:42,733 --> 00:05:43,821
Well, what are you doing?
116
00:05:43,952 --> 00:05:45,082
Playing mailman.
117
00:05:45,214 --> 00:05:46,171
Hey, didn't you
get in enough trouble
118
00:05:46,302 --> 00:05:48,043
last time you played mailman?
119
00:05:48,173 --> 00:05:50,088
That was because I
was using new letters.
120
00:05:50,219 --> 00:05:52,352
This time, I'm only
using old ones.
121
00:05:52,482 --> 00:05:54,876
Oh, why don't you forget
that and come to the park?
122
00:05:55,006 --> 00:05:56,791
Rusty, you know our code.
123
00:05:56,921 --> 00:05:59,097
Not rain nor sleet
nor dark of night
124
00:05:59,228 --> 00:06:02,449
shall stay this courier
from his appointed rounds.
125
00:06:02,579 --> 00:06:04,538
You don't even
know what that means.
126
00:06:04,668 --> 00:06:05,452
I do too.
127
00:06:05,582 --> 00:06:06,844
What does it mean?
128
00:06:06,975 --> 00:06:08,498
It means I'm supposed
to deliver the mail,
129
00:06:08,629 --> 00:06:10,108
except when there's
rain or sleet
130
00:06:10,239 --> 00:06:11,327
or when it's dark of night.
131
00:06:14,591 --> 00:06:16,637
You sure you haven't
got any old letters?
132
00:06:16,767 --> 00:06:19,640
I'll let you know after
I check with my secretary.
133
00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:22,686
I sure do need a
lot more letters.
134
00:06:22,817 --> 00:06:23,948
I'll check in mom's room.
135
00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:27,778
[piano music]
136
00:06:27,909 --> 00:06:29,824
[SINGING] Never saw the
sun shining so bright.
137
00:06:29,954 --> 00:06:32,783
Never saw things going so right.
138
00:06:32,914 --> 00:06:35,090
Hurrying the days,
hurry them by.
139
00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:37,397
When you're in love,
my, how they fly.
140
00:06:37,527 --> 00:06:38,963
[doorbell]
141
00:06:39,094 --> 00:06:39,921
Coming.
Coming.
142
00:06:40,051 --> 00:06:40,835
Coming.
143
00:06:40,965 --> 00:06:42,097
Coming.
144
00:06:42,227 --> 00:06:43,490
Oh, coming.
145
00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:47,450
[SINGING] Blue skies,
all of them gone.
146
00:06:47,581 --> 00:06:50,409
Nothing but blue skies.
147
00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:51,411
How do you do?
148
00:06:51,541 --> 00:06:52,368
Hello?
149
00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:53,935
I'm Jay Sanders from 410.
150
00:06:54,065 --> 00:06:54,849
Yeah?
151
00:06:54,979 --> 00:06:56,764
Is Danny home?
152
00:06:56,894 --> 00:06:58,287
I'm Danny.
153
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,202
You're Danny?
154
00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:03,510
Well, I was when I
got up this morning.
155
00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,642
I don't get to meet many
people in the building.
156
00:07:05,773 --> 00:07:06,817
See, I'm away from home a lot.
157
00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:07,688
I'm a traveling man.
158
00:07:07,818 --> 00:07:08,950
Oh.
159
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:10,517
What can I do for you?
160
00:07:10,647 --> 00:07:12,432
Well, I hope you
don't mind my asking,
161
00:07:12,562 --> 00:07:15,130
but could I have your autograph?
162
00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:17,959
Well, certainly.
163
00:07:18,089 --> 00:07:20,048
This is very flattering.
164
00:07:20,178 --> 00:07:21,092
There you are.
165
00:07:26,141 --> 00:07:26,924
Yeah.
166
00:07:27,055 --> 00:07:29,492
Handwriting's the same.
167
00:07:29,623 --> 00:07:31,929
[screaming] My
168
00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:32,843
Nose.
169
00:07:32,974 --> 00:07:35,106
My nose.
170
00:07:35,237 --> 00:07:36,586
you crazy or something?
171
00:07:36,717 --> 00:07:39,197
That's for writing
love letters to my wife.
172
00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:49,904
Kathy.
173
00:07:50,034 --> 00:07:52,080
Kathy?
174
00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:53,908
Kathy.
175
00:07:54,038 --> 00:07:57,128
A great big bruiser just came
in here and grabbed onto my nose
176
00:07:57,259 --> 00:07:58,608
and he twisted it
and twisted it?
177
00:07:58,739 --> 00:07:59,522
You mean like this?
178
00:07:59,653 --> 00:08:01,524
[screaming]
179
00:08:01,655 --> 00:08:02,786
[inaudible]
180
00:08:02,917 --> 00:08:04,266
- Danny, you give me my letters.
- What?
181
00:08:04,396 --> 00:08:05,746
Your letters?
- Where are my love letters?
182
00:08:05,876 --> 00:08:07,095
How do I know where
your letters are?
183
00:08:07,225 --> 00:08:07,965
They're not in my drawer.
184
00:08:08,096 --> 00:08:09,053
They're gone.
185
00:08:09,184 --> 00:08:10,228
And I wanna know where they are.
186
00:08:10,359 --> 00:08:11,534
What is this today?
187
00:08:11,665 --> 00:08:13,144
What is this?
188
00:08:13,275 --> 00:08:16,408
This is my nose, not a
doorknob, everybody twisting it.
189
00:08:16,539 --> 00:08:18,585
Give me my love letters
and she twists my nose.
190
00:08:18,715 --> 00:08:21,326
And the guy comes in and says--
191
00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:22,327
oh.
192
00:08:24,895 --> 00:08:26,854
Oh.
193
00:08:26,984 --> 00:08:28,899
I know where one
of your letters is.
194
00:08:29,030 --> 00:08:30,466
Where?
195
00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:32,511
That fella come in here
and accused me of writing
196
00:08:32,642 --> 00:08:34,601
a love letter to his wife.
197
00:08:34,731 --> 00:08:37,734
Well, are you sure
that's one of my letters?
198
00:08:37,865 --> 00:08:39,082
No.
199
00:08:39,213 --> 00:08:41,999
I-- I wrote a love
letter to his wife.
200
00:08:42,130 --> 00:08:43,523
Or course it's one
of your letters.
201
00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:45,002
Well, how did
he get hold of it?
202
00:08:45,133 --> 00:08:46,613
How should I know
how he got hold of it?
203
00:08:46,743 --> 00:08:49,137
Well, you said that you
wanted to burn all the letters.
204
00:08:49,267 --> 00:08:50,312
She sure got a
hold of my nose.
205
00:08:50,442 --> 00:08:51,226
That's all I can say.
206
00:08:51,356 --> 00:08:53,271
[interposing voices]
207
00:08:53,402 --> 00:08:54,142
Mommy.
208
00:08:54,272 --> 00:08:55,056
Nothing.
209
00:08:55,186 --> 00:08:56,536
What do you want?
210
00:08:56,665 --> 00:08:58,189
Mommy, have you got any
more of those letters?
211
00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:00,583
I've been playing mailman,
but I ran out of mail.
212
00:09:00,714 --> 00:09:01,758
Oh, honey, I'm busy now.
213
00:09:01,889 --> 00:09:02,629
Would you do me a favor?
214
00:09:02,759 --> 00:09:03,978
Go play mail-- mailman?
215
00:09:07,024 --> 00:09:08,286
Come back here, young lady.
216
00:09:10,854 --> 00:09:12,682
You've been playing mailman?
217
00:09:12,813 --> 00:09:14,815
You mean that you
delivered all my love
218
00:09:14,945 --> 00:09:16,556
letters all over this building?
219
00:09:16,686 --> 00:09:17,469
Oh, no, Mommy.
220
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:18,558
I didn't do that.
221
00:09:18,688 --> 00:09:19,689
Oh, you didn't?
222
00:09:19,820 --> 00:09:20,995
No.
223
00:09:21,125 --> 00:09:24,172
I just got as far as
the seventh floor.
224
00:09:24,302 --> 00:09:26,653
I told you to burn
those letters, didn't I?
225
00:09:26,783 --> 00:09:29,046
Didn't I tell you to
burn those letters?
226
00:09:29,177 --> 00:09:30,700
Holy smokes.
227
00:09:30,831 --> 00:09:31,483
I won't be able to show my
face in the neighborhood.
228
00:09:31,614 --> 00:09:32,354
Go sit down.
229
00:09:32,484 --> 00:09:34,661
Sit down, young woman.
230
00:09:34,790 --> 00:09:35,879
What's the matter with you?
231
00:09:36,010 --> 00:09:37,315
And wipe that smile
off your face.
232
00:09:37,446 --> 00:09:39,056
You're in big trouble.
233
00:09:39,187 --> 00:09:42,582
Don't you know it's wrong to
take other people's property?
234
00:09:42,712 --> 00:09:43,757
Why did you touch those letters?
235
00:09:43,887 --> 00:09:45,149
But they were old letters.
236
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:47,412
I didn't think
anybody wanted them.
237
00:09:47,543 --> 00:09:49,850
Well, then, why
didn't you ask first?
238
00:09:49,980 --> 00:09:50,720
Seven floors.
239
00:09:50,851 --> 00:09:52,417
I'm sorry, Mommy.
240
00:09:52,548 --> 00:09:56,160
All those gooey letters spread
all over the seven floors.
241
00:09:56,290 --> 00:09:57,901
Seven floors?
242
00:09:58,032 --> 00:10:00,469
How could you deliver those
letters to all seven floors?
243
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,470
I work fast.
244
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:02,602
I'm on special delivery.
245
00:10:02,732 --> 00:10:03,603
Now, you see here--
246
00:10:08,390 --> 00:10:09,826
What's the matter, Dad?
247
00:10:09,957 --> 00:10:12,829
Your sister has been
playing mailman again.
248
00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:13,700
What did she do?
249
00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:15,484
What did she do?
250
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,617
She spread your mother's love
letters all over the building.
251
00:10:17,747 --> 00:10:19,488
Oh, Linda, how could
you do such a thing?
252
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,532
Yes.
253
00:10:20,663 --> 00:10:21,925
How could you do such a thing?
254
00:10:22,056 --> 00:10:23,753
Didn't you know what
was in those letters?
255
00:10:23,884 --> 00:10:25,102
Oh, if she knew
what was in them, Mom,
256
00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:26,669
she wouldn't've given away.
257
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:27,627
She would've sold them.
258
00:10:27,757 --> 00:10:29,106
Get out of here.
259
00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:38,594
And you too, young woman.
260
00:10:38,725 --> 00:10:40,030
You go to your room.
261
00:10:40,161 --> 00:10:42,293
And stay there until I
tell you to come out,
262
00:10:42,424 --> 00:10:45,296
which may be next year.
263
00:10:45,427 --> 00:10:46,689
How do you like that?
264
00:10:46,820 --> 00:10:48,952
Other kids her age
wanna be ballet dancers
265
00:10:49,083 --> 00:10:50,084
or school teachers.
266
00:10:50,214 --> 00:10:52,216
Our kid wants to be a mailman.
267
00:10:52,347 --> 00:10:54,915
Danny, you go out
and get those letters.
268
00:11:00,137 --> 00:11:02,836
Oh, you gotta be kidding.
269
00:11:02,966 --> 00:11:05,621
That's all I gotta do is go
knocking on doors and say,
270
00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:08,145
"excuse me, sir, would you
ask your wife to return
271
00:11:08,276 --> 00:11:10,844
my passionate love letter?"
272
00:11:10,974 --> 00:11:14,369
If I'm lucky, I'll get out
of the hospital by Christmas.
273
00:11:14,499 --> 00:11:16,414
Well, there must be some way.
274
00:11:16,545 --> 00:11:18,199
I want my love letters back.
275
00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:19,679
I'll write you new ones.
276
00:11:19,809 --> 00:11:22,072
Oh, it wouldn't be the same.
277
00:11:22,203 --> 00:11:24,118
When you wrote those,
you were young and eager.
278
00:11:27,991 --> 00:11:30,994
So now, I'm old and eager.
279
00:11:31,125 --> 00:11:32,604
[doorbell]
280
00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:33,475
Now, who is that?
281
00:11:33,605 --> 00:11:35,738
I don't know.
282
00:11:35,869 --> 00:11:37,348
Oh, Mr. Webb, is it?
283
00:11:37,479 --> 00:11:38,262
Yes.
284
00:11:38,393 --> 00:11:39,437
Harry Webb, 601.
285
00:11:39,568 --> 00:11:40,961
Yes.
286
00:11:41,091 --> 00:11:45,400
Say I got a letter here
and I think your husband--
287
00:11:45,530 --> 00:11:47,228
I don't know how it
got into our mailbox.
288
00:11:47,358 --> 00:11:49,404
But I checked the
building directory.
289
00:11:49,534 --> 00:11:51,754
And your husband is the only
one in the building named Danny.
290
00:11:51,885 --> 00:11:53,147
So I thought you'd
like to have it back.
291
00:11:53,277 --> 00:11:54,061
Oh, yes, I would.
292
00:11:54,191 --> 00:11:55,018
Thank you very much.
293
00:11:55,149 --> 00:11:56,759
That's all right.
294
00:11:56,890 --> 00:11:59,327
I'd appreciate it an awful
lot, Mr. Webb if you'd forget
295
00:11:59,457 --> 00:12:01,242
you ever read that letter.
296
00:12:01,372 --> 00:12:04,898
Mr. Williams, I make
it a habit of never
297
00:12:05,028 --> 00:12:07,422
reading other people's mail.
298
00:12:07,552 --> 00:12:08,336
Well, that's nice.
299
00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:09,598
That's very nice.
300
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:12,557
Well, I guess I better be going.
301
00:12:12,688 --> 00:12:14,690
So-- sorry if we put
you through any trouble.
302
00:12:14,821 --> 00:12:16,213
No trouble at all.
303
00:12:16,344 --> 00:12:20,043
Oh, Mrs. Williams,
would you do me a favor?
304
00:12:20,174 --> 00:12:20,957
A favor?
305
00:12:21,088 --> 00:12:22,306
Yes, please.
306
00:12:22,437 --> 00:12:23,960
Would you look at your husband?
307
00:12:24,091 --> 00:12:24,874
Look at him?
308
00:12:25,005 --> 00:12:26,397
Yes.
309
00:12:26,528 --> 00:12:27,747
Just take a-- a good,
long look at your husband.
310
00:12:27,877 --> 00:12:28,748
I wanna check something.
311
00:12:28,878 --> 00:12:29,966
Please?
- Well--
312
00:12:30,097 --> 00:12:30,880
If you don't mind.
313
00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:31,925
All right.
314
00:12:34,492 --> 00:12:35,406
Uh huh.
315
00:12:38,322 --> 00:12:41,151
Uh huh.
316
00:12:41,282 --> 00:12:42,631
Yeah.
317
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,285
Thank you both very much.
318
00:12:44,415 --> 00:12:46,678
Mr. Webb, what--
319
00:12:46,809 --> 00:12:48,289
what were you checking?
320
00:12:48,419 --> 00:12:52,119
Well, I wanted to see the
rays from her emerald eyes
321
00:12:52,249 --> 00:12:55,383
pierce your heart
with shafts of love.
322
00:13:04,740 --> 00:13:06,220
Thank you very much
for returning it.
323
00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:08,091
We'd've brought them
back sooner, Mr. Williams,
324
00:13:08,222 --> 00:13:10,311
but we wanted to read them
to our English class first.
325
00:13:13,053 --> 00:13:15,838
You-- you read-- read
them to the English class?
326
00:13:15,969 --> 00:13:17,187
Oh, yes.
327
00:13:17,318 --> 00:13:18,798
Our teacher thought
they were very good,
328
00:13:18,928 --> 00:13:22,105
especially the part where
you said "your shoes
329
00:13:22,236 --> 00:13:28,242
are not shoes, but jewel cases
for your tiny princess feet."
330
00:13:28,372 --> 00:13:30,418
And She liked
the way you said,
331
00:13:30,548 --> 00:13:36,424
"Your hair is not hair, but a
crown for your royal beauty."
332
00:13:36,554 --> 00:13:39,775
Our teacher thinks you write
just like Cyrano de Bergerac.
333
00:13:42,473 --> 00:13:43,735
And you look
just like him too.
334
00:13:48,392 --> 00:13:50,307
So I says to myself,
I says, whoever
335
00:13:50,438 --> 00:13:53,397
is the owner of this here letter
must want it back real bad.
336
00:13:53,528 --> 00:13:55,443
So I rushed it up here
real fast, as soon
337
00:13:55,573 --> 00:13:57,358
as we got through reading it?
338
00:13:57,488 --> 00:13:58,968
We got through reading it?
339
00:13:59,099 --> 00:14:02,929
There he is,
the phantom Romeo.
340
00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:05,192
You know, at first,
but a few minutes,
341
00:14:05,322 --> 00:14:07,368
I thought it was from my Sal.
342
00:14:07,498 --> 00:14:08,456
He's on the road.
343
00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:09,631
He's in the ladies glove game.
344
00:14:09,761 --> 00:14:11,676
He writes to me quite often.
345
00:14:11,807 --> 00:14:14,331
Handwriting just like Sal.
346
00:14:14,462 --> 00:14:18,292
But when I came to the line "as
the quiver of the aspen leaf
347
00:14:18,422 --> 00:14:20,816
hails the coming of
the summer breeze,
348
00:14:20,947 --> 00:14:25,429
so does my trembling heart
[inaudible] approach,"
349
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:26,953
believe me, that ain't Sal.
350
00:14:41,837 --> 00:14:44,405
Danny, you come back
in here this instant.
351
00:14:44,535 --> 00:14:46,494
DANNY: Look, I've been cooped
up in the house for four days.
352
00:14:46,624 --> 00:14:47,799
I gotta get some air.
353
00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:48,713
You cannot go out
looking like that.
354
00:14:48,844 --> 00:14:50,498
-
355
00:14:50,628 --> 00:14:51,716
DANNY: Well, I certainly don't
want anybody to recognize me.
356
00:14:51,847 --> 00:14:52,979
You come right
back in here, now.
357
00:14:53,109 --> 00:14:54,284
Right now, now, now.
358
00:15:03,163 --> 00:15:04,599
You should be
ashamed of yourself.
359
00:15:04,729 --> 00:15:07,384
If you're going to go
out, go out like a man.
360
00:15:07,515 --> 00:15:08,908
I am going out like a man.
361
00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:12,346
I just don't want anybody
to know which man.
362
00:15:12,476 --> 00:15:15,958
You look like a
Lebanese walrus.
363
00:15:16,089 --> 00:15:17,177
Give me back that mustache.
364
00:15:17,307 --> 00:15:19,483
I will not give
it back to you.
365
00:15:19,614 --> 00:15:22,878
Now, come on, Kathy, I don't
want anybody to recognize me.
366
00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:24,358
Oh, honey.
367
00:15:24,488 --> 00:15:26,186
People laugh at
me wherever I go.
368
00:15:26,316 --> 00:15:27,491
Do you think that
people have nothing
369
00:15:27,622 --> 00:15:28,797
better to do than laugh at you?
370
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:29,711
Yeah.
371
00:15:29,841 --> 00:15:31,234
They got better to do.
372
00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:34,716
But when they see me, they
stop doing it and laugh.
373
00:15:34,846 --> 00:15:37,893
You know, you're making such
a big thing out-- out of those
374
00:15:38,024 --> 00:15:39,460
sweet little love letters.
375
00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:42,376
It's embarrassing stepping
into a crowded elevator
376
00:15:42,506 --> 00:15:44,421
and watching everybody
holding their sides
377
00:15:44,552 --> 00:15:47,598
so they won't start
snickering, nudging each other
378
00:15:47,729 --> 00:15:49,687
and say "there he is, Casanova.
379
00:15:49,818 --> 00:15:52,690
There he is, that
Romeo, Prince Charming."
380
00:15:52,821 --> 00:15:54,823
I said to the doorman,
"get me a cab."
381
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,042
He said, "a cab, sir?
382
00:15:56,172 --> 00:15:57,652
Don't you mean a white horse?"
383
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:04,702
You know, I think
I'll see my agent
384
00:16:04,833 --> 00:16:06,356
and see if he can't
arrange a tour for me.
385
00:16:06,487 --> 00:16:07,705
What?
386
00:16:07,836 --> 00:16:09,751
Yeah, go away for
about a year or so.
387
00:16:09,881 --> 00:16:11,927
By the time I get back
here, the lease will be up
388
00:16:12,058 --> 00:16:14,147
and then we can move
into another apartment.
389
00:16:14,277 --> 00:16:15,626
[sobbing]
390
00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:19,717
Oh, for goodness' sake.
391
00:16:19,848 --> 00:16:20,762
What are you crying about?
392
00:16:20,892 --> 00:16:22,372
I'll get you another apartment.
393
00:16:22,503 --> 00:16:24,200
That's not what
I'm crying about.
394
00:16:24,331 --> 00:16:25,985
Well, what are
you crying about?
395
00:16:26,115 --> 00:16:30,554
Well, if you don't know, I'm
certainly not gonna tell you.
396
00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:31,512
Where you're going?
397
00:16:31,642 --> 00:16:33,122
I'm going to the market.
398
00:16:33,253 --> 00:16:35,385
Will you please give
me back my mustache?
399
00:16:35,516 --> 00:16:36,299
No.
400
00:16:36,430 --> 00:16:37,257
Well, stop crying.
401
00:16:37,387 --> 00:16:40,173
You're getting it all wet.
402
00:16:40,303 --> 00:16:42,697
I don't know what
you're crying about.
403
00:16:42,827 --> 00:16:44,090
I'm the one who
should be crying.
404
00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:45,613
I'm the goon that wrote
those silly letters.
405
00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:46,831
Yes.
406
00:16:46,962 --> 00:16:48,833
And I'm the goon
who believed them.
407
00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:03,718
Hello.
408
00:17:03,848 --> 00:17:05,807
Why is Mommy crying?
409
00:17:05,936 --> 00:17:06,676
How do I know?
410
00:17:06,808 --> 00:17:09,593
Why do women cry?
411
00:17:09,723 --> 00:17:11,334
Is Mommy still mad at me?
412
00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:13,075
Well, what do
you expect, Linda,
413
00:17:13,205 --> 00:17:16,078
spreading those letters all
around the apartment building?
414
00:17:16,209 --> 00:17:17,775
But they were old letters.
415
00:17:17,906 --> 00:17:19,646
They still weren't for
other people to read.
416
00:17:25,740 --> 00:17:27,046
Daddy?
417
00:17:27,175 --> 00:17:28,395
Hmm?
418
00:17:28,525 --> 00:17:29,787
Was there something
bad in those letters
419
00:17:29,918 --> 00:17:31,528
you wrote to Mommy?
420
00:17:31,659 --> 00:17:33,052
No.
No, dear.
421
00:17:33,182 --> 00:17:34,096
There was nothing bad.
422
00:17:34,227 --> 00:17:36,142
It was just something personal.
423
00:17:36,272 --> 00:17:37,795
Personal?
424
00:17:37,926 --> 00:17:41,930
Yeah, sort of a secret
between Mommy and me.
425
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:43,540
Why?
426
00:17:43,671 --> 00:17:46,456
Because, well, they told
Mommy how much I love her.
427
00:17:46,587 --> 00:17:49,851
And that's supposed
to be a secret, huh?
428
00:17:49,981 --> 00:17:53,942
Well, sorta.
429
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:57,206
Daddy, are you ashamed for
people to know you love Mommy.
430
00:17:59,861 --> 00:18:00,992
No.
No.
431
00:18:01,123 --> 00:18:02,342
I'm not ashamed.
432
00:18:02,472 --> 00:18:04,431
Why-- why don't
you go play, huh?
433
00:18:04,561 --> 00:18:06,041
Grown ups are sure funny.
434
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:07,521
What?
435
00:18:07,651 --> 00:18:09,088
Gloria's mother and
father fight all the time
436
00:18:09,218 --> 00:18:11,438
and the whole building
knows about it.
437
00:18:11,568 --> 00:18:13,309
You and Mommy love
each other and it's
438
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:15,181
supposed to be a secret.
439
00:18:15,311 --> 00:18:16,182
It's goofy.
440
00:18:22,188 --> 00:18:23,580
Yeah.
441
00:18:23,711 --> 00:18:25,452
Yeah.
442
00:18:25,582 --> 00:18:28,324
Come to think of
it, it is goofy.
443
00:18:46,037 --> 00:18:48,736
There's a special on
used husbands today.
444
00:18:48,866 --> 00:18:51,347
What are you doing
without your disguise?
445
00:18:51,478 --> 00:18:54,829
Kathy, listen,
lover, this whole thing
446
00:18:54,959 --> 00:18:56,657
is really very silly.
447
00:18:56,787 --> 00:18:58,876
Aren't you afraid that people
might recognize you in public?
448
00:18:59,007 --> 00:18:59,790
Honey, look--
449
00:18:59,921 --> 00:19:01,531
Oh, be careful.
450
00:19:01,662 --> 00:19:03,794
People might think there's
something going on between us.
451
00:19:03,925 --> 00:19:05,274
Now, Kathy,
you're just being--
452
00:19:05,405 --> 00:19:06,580
Oh.
453
00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:08,147
I know I was acting
like a fool, dear.
454
00:19:08,277 --> 00:19:09,670
You certainly were.
455
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:10,584
Look, Kathy, all right?
456
00:19:10,714 --> 00:19:11,454
I-- I'm apologizing.
457
00:19:11,585 --> 00:19:12,934
Can't you forgive me?
458
00:19:13,064 --> 00:19:15,937
Any man who is ashamed
to let his neighbors
459
00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:20,115
know that he loves his wife
doesn't deserve to be forgiven.
460
00:19:20,246 --> 00:19:22,683
Kathy, look, baby.
461
00:19:22,813 --> 00:19:24,119
Sweetheart, listen.
462
00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:26,643
Oh, there you are
again, you phantom lover.
463
00:19:26,774 --> 00:19:29,603
Have you written any
more letters lately?
464
00:19:29,733 --> 00:19:31,648
I don't have to write
letters, Mrs. Green.
465
00:19:31,779 --> 00:19:32,780
I can say it out loud.
466
00:19:32,910 --> 00:19:34,347
I love my wife.
467
00:19:34,477 --> 00:19:35,783
I love my wife very much,
ladies and gentlemen.
468
00:19:35,913 --> 00:19:36,697
Danny.
469
00:19:36,827 --> 00:19:37,872
I love you very much.
470
00:19:38,002 --> 00:19:38,786
There she is, my wife.
471
00:19:38,916 --> 00:19:39,874
I love her.
472
00:19:40,004 --> 00:19:41,658
I love that woman, right there.
473
00:19:41,789 --> 00:19:43,399
That's the woman I love.
Hello, Mr. Webb.
474
00:19:43,530 --> 00:19:44,357
Have you heard?
I love her.
475
00:19:44,487 --> 00:19:46,620
I love her very much.
476
00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:48,274
Oh, Mrs. Schwartz, how are you?
477
00:19:48,404 --> 00:19:49,188
Have you heard?
478
00:19:49,318 --> 00:19:50,232
I love my wife.
479
00:19:50,363 --> 00:19:51,538
I love her.
There she is.
480
00:19:51,668 --> 00:19:52,408
I love that woman.
481
00:19:52,539 --> 00:19:55,803
[inaudible]
482
00:20:02,288 --> 00:20:04,768
Will you weigh that
for me, please?
483
00:20:04,899 --> 00:20:05,726
I don't think we've met.
484
00:20:05,856 --> 00:20:06,683
My name's Danny Williams.
485
00:20:06,814 --> 00:20:08,163
I love my wife, you know?
486
00:20:08,294 --> 00:20:09,120
There she is right there.
487
00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:10,644
See her, that pretty girl?
488
00:20:10,774 --> 00:20:11,819
I love my wife very much.
489
00:20:11,949 --> 00:20:14,343
Manager, manager,
counter four.
490
00:20:14,474 --> 00:20:16,998
Manager, manager,
I love my wife.
491
00:20:17,128 --> 00:20:17,868
Hello, everybody.
492
00:20:17,999 --> 00:20:18,826
I love my wife.
493
00:20:18,956 --> 00:20:20,610
This is Danny Williams.
494
00:20:20,741 --> 00:20:21,742
I'm sure you think I'm off my
rocker, but I'm not really.
495
00:20:21,872 --> 00:20:23,134
Honestly, I'm not.
496
00:20:23,265 --> 00:20:24,658
Now, my child said
to me, my little girl
497
00:20:24,788 --> 00:20:27,748
said to me today, that
grown ups are really goofy.
498
00:20:27,878 --> 00:20:30,664
I mean, when they fight, the
whole world knows about it.
499
00:20:30,794 --> 00:20:33,449
If they love each other,
they wanna keep it a secret.
500
00:20:33,580 --> 00:20:35,190
Now, isn't that goofy?
501
00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:38,280
You know, there's so much hatred
in the world, so much hatred
502
00:20:38,411 --> 00:20:39,977
and it gets so much
newspaper space and radio
503
00:20:40,108 --> 00:20:41,762
space and television space.
504
00:20:41,892 --> 00:20:44,634
It's about time somebody
did a good public relations
505
00:20:44,765 --> 00:20:46,157
job on love.
506
00:20:46,288 --> 00:20:47,724
And I'm the fellow who
should do it, because I've
507
00:20:47,855 --> 00:20:48,899
been the chief offender.
508
00:20:49,030 --> 00:20:50,684
Can you imagine
me being ashamed?
509
00:20:50,814 --> 00:20:53,164
Ashamed that I love my life?
510
00:20:53,295 --> 00:20:55,210
Imagine a guy with
a puss like mine
511
00:20:55,341 --> 00:20:58,648
ashamed to love a girl
that looks like that,
512
00:20:58,779 --> 00:20:59,997
the girl in the checkered hat.
513
00:21:00,128 --> 00:21:01,521
There she us.
514
00:21:01,651 --> 00:21:03,523
The redhead, with the mustache.
515
00:21:07,527 --> 00:21:11,313
Anyway, I want the whole
world to know that I--
516
00:21:11,444 --> 00:21:14,447
I love my wife, very much.
517
00:21:14,577 --> 00:21:16,318
Sal, ain't that beautiful?
518
00:21:21,323 --> 00:21:26,328
That's very touching, Mr.
Williams, very touching.
519
00:21:26,459 --> 00:21:28,809
Sweet.
520
00:21:28,939 --> 00:21:29,853
Very sweet.
521
00:21:35,424 --> 00:21:37,252
Mrs. Williams, you're
such a fortunate person.
522
00:21:55,226 --> 00:21:58,142
[piano music]
523
00:22:01,668 --> 00:22:09,328
[SINGING] Day by day, I'm
falling more in love with you.
524
00:22:11,939 --> 00:22:17,118
And day by day, our
love seems to grow.
525
00:22:21,078 --> 00:22:26,345
There isn't any
end to my devotion.
526
00:22:29,565 --> 00:22:34,614
It's deeper dear, by
far, than any ocean.
527
00:22:37,268 --> 00:22:45,842
I find that day by
day, you're making
528
00:22:45,973 --> 00:22:48,845
all of my dreams come true.
529
00:22:52,196 --> 00:23:04,165
And come what may, I want you
to know, I am yours alone.
530
00:23:06,820 --> 00:23:26,013
And I'm in love to stay as we go
through the years, day by day.
531
00:23:40,027 --> 00:23:41,289
Oh, for heaven's sake.
532
00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:43,465
Now, what are you crying about?
533
00:23:43,596 --> 00:23:46,250
Because it's so beautiful.
534
00:23:46,381 --> 00:23:47,164
Darling?
535
00:23:47,295 --> 00:23:48,731
- Mhm?
- You know what?
536
00:23:48,862 --> 00:23:50,559
Huh uh.
537
00:23:50,690 --> 00:23:52,605
I'm gonna write all those love
letters to you all over again.
538
00:23:52,735 --> 00:23:53,562
Oh.
539
00:23:58,698 --> 00:24:00,221
Oh, goody, we're just in time.
Come on.
540
00:24:00,351 --> 00:24:01,440
Hurry up.
541
00:24:01,570 --> 00:24:02,441
Hurry up.
542
00:24:04,530 --> 00:24:05,835
Everybody, sit on the floor.
543
00:24:05,966 --> 00:24:08,229
Linda, what's going on here?
544
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:09,752
Well, you said you
wanted the whole world
545
00:24:09,883 --> 00:24:11,188
to know you love Mommy.
546
00:24:11,319 --> 00:24:12,407
So I'm selling tickets.
547
00:24:12,538 --> 00:24:13,408
Oh.
548
00:24:16,759 --> 00:24:20,067
[theme music]
38042
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