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Yo, yo!
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I got the feeling, got a bit of an
inkling.
3
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:19,080
This is going to be one of those days.
4
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This is a show about me.
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And me. And all the things I do and all
the things I've seen. And also what I
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00:01:27,580 --> 00:01:30,380
see. I got the feeling, got a bit of an
inkling.
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As long as we're together, it'll be
okay.
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00:01:44,410 --> 00:01:45,460
Did it. Did it.
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hadn't have talked me into doing that
stupid trick with the lift we'd still
10
00:02:45,580 --> 00:02:50,499
a job well look on the bright side we
don't have to go to work anymore we can
11
00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:56,499
just muck around all day muck around
well who's going to pay the bills who's
12
00:02:56,500 --> 00:03:03,399
going to pay the rent you'll think of
something i'll think of something
13
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:08,139
frank i think it's time that you
actually took some responsibility for
14
00:03:08,140 --> 00:03:11,180
life i'm not going to be around forever
to look after you
15
00:03:14,250 --> 00:03:15,300
What do you mean?
16
00:03:15,590 --> 00:03:18,690
Well, tomorrow, I could get hit by a
bus.
17
00:03:21,170 --> 00:03:22,220
You're right.
18
00:03:22,530 --> 00:03:23,580
That's true.
19
00:03:24,390 --> 00:03:27,340
You could be killed. You could be killed
and I'd be all alone.
20
00:03:27,610 --> 00:03:28,660
I'd be all alone.
21
00:03:29,950 --> 00:03:32,390
Just calm down. Just calm down.
22
00:03:32,630 --> 00:03:34,130
I'm just trying to make a point.
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00:03:34,570 --> 00:03:35,930
I probably won't be.
24
00:03:35,931 --> 00:03:38,529
Oh, good. I won't worry about it then.
25
00:03:38,530 --> 00:03:40,370
But the point is, it might happen.
26
00:03:42,310 --> 00:03:44,900
Frank. Frank, Frank, Frank, stop it!
27
00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:48,370
The point I'm trying to make is that
you've never grown up.
28
00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:50,250
Life isn't all fun.
29
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:51,780
It's not all child's play.
30
00:03:52,620 --> 00:03:55,870
It's a tough world out there, and you
have to be strong to survive.
31
00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:57,380
It's not all a game.
32
00:03:57,381 --> 00:04:01,459
Hey, Cole, your hand looks like a duck
when it makes a shadow on the wall.
33
00:04:01,460 --> 00:04:03,510
There'll be another duck. Hello, Mr.
Duck.
34
00:04:03,740 --> 00:04:06,630
It's not a duck. It's not a duck, you
stupid, stupid idiot!
35
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,540
Its neck is far too long. It's much more
like a swamp.
36
00:04:15,980 --> 00:04:19,540
I mean, what am I doing hanging around
such a poor excuse for a man?
37
00:04:22,940 --> 00:04:23,990
I'm sorry.
38
00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:27,240
I'm sorry, I didn't mean that.
39
00:04:28,260 --> 00:04:31,450
Come on, let's get the newspaper and
we'll look for a job. Come on.
40
00:05:11,291 --> 00:05:13,609
Authentic masculinity.
41
00:05:13,610 --> 00:05:17,549
A weekend workshop designed to help men
find a relevant identity for the modern
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age. Fantastic, that's just what I need.
I'll do this weekend workshop and
43
00:05:21,710 --> 00:05:22,910
that'll help sort me out.
44
00:05:23,430 --> 00:05:24,480
Oh no.
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00:05:28,890 --> 00:05:34,550
It costs a thousand dollars.
46
00:05:36,450 --> 00:05:37,510
Don't worry, Frank.
47
00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:43,819
I can run a manhood workshop for you
this weekend right in this very flat at
48
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only a fraction of the cost.
49
00:05:46,740 --> 00:05:51,720
Really? Yeah. Although, unfortunately,
the fraction is $999 ,000.
50
00:05:55,200 --> 00:06:02,139
Welcome, everyone. Welcome to this
secluded weekend of self -discovery and
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00:06:02,140 --> 00:06:03,900
quest for authentic manhood.
52
00:06:04,190 --> 00:06:10,670
entitled Primal Enlightened Nobleman in
Society, or penis for short.
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00:06:11,570 --> 00:06:16,749
Tonight will be an introduction to
meditation, then tomorrow we'll be
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00:06:16,750 --> 00:06:22,309
the hunting songs of the Indian Apache
Braves, visualising ourselves as huge
55
00:06:22,310 --> 00:06:29,269
hairy giants, weaving ceremonial
headgear from our own pubic hair, and
56
00:06:29,270 --> 00:06:30,320
much more.
57
00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:36,459
And then on Sunday, our grand finale
will be a spectacular initiation
58
00:06:36,460 --> 00:06:42,820
in which we will unleash the power of
the Primal Warrior!
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00:06:45,820 --> 00:06:50,760
Okay, but first, let's go around the
circle and learn a bit about each other.
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Why don't we start with, uh... Oh, you.
What was your name again?
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Frank. Frank.
62
00:06:57,300 --> 00:06:59,220
Great. Frank, have you got any hobbies?
63
00:07:00,110 --> 00:07:04,470
Well, actually, Carl, I do. I collect
beautiful multicoloured autumn leaves.
64
00:07:06,050 --> 00:07:07,130
I'll show you.
65
00:07:07,730 --> 00:07:12,669
I've collected thousands of them and
I've stuck them all into this very, very
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special album.
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00:07:15,070 --> 00:07:17,830
Oh, that's great, Frank. That's
terrific.
68
00:07:18,530 --> 00:07:22,969
It's great to have a hobby, isn't it? I
think we can all take a leaf out of
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Frank's book and really...
70
00:07:24,271 --> 00:07:26,999
No, you're not taking any leaves out of
my book. It's taken me years to break
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00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:30,370
them. Get your own leaves! Okay, okay,
let's just move on, shall we?
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00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:33,040
Great. Is this the part where we... Oh,
it is!
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The power of the primal warrior!
74
00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:40,290
No.
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00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:42,170
Not yet.
76
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:47,399
Right. Now, the first thing we're going
to do is a meditation session, so
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00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:48,980
everyone close your eyes.
78
00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:50,490
Come on, everyone.
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00:07:52,260 --> 00:07:53,560
That's great, great.
80
00:07:54,480 --> 00:08:01,000
Now focus on the gentle, natural rhythm
of your breath as it flows in and out.
81
00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:03,640
In and out.
82
00:08:04,620 --> 00:08:08,680
In... Frank, what's wrong? What's wrong?
83
00:08:09,420 --> 00:08:13,300
I can't sit on the floor very
comfortably, Colin. My knees are killing
84
00:08:14,020 --> 00:08:16,220
That's fine. Just sit up on the couch
then.
85
00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:19,410
Now.
86
00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:23,290
Frank, can't you just sit still for a
few minutes?
87
00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:33,230
Okay. Let your body drift away into a
place of inner tranquility.
88
00:08:34,190 --> 00:08:36,530
Let your whole body relax.
89
00:08:37,870 --> 00:08:38,920
Frank!
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00:08:39,270 --> 00:08:40,320
Frank, stop it!
91
00:08:40,321 --> 00:08:41,589
Stop it!
92
00:08:41,590 --> 00:08:42,640
Look at me!
93
00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:46,460
Frank, Frank, can't you see? People are
trying to meditate!
94
00:08:46,910 --> 00:08:50,340
Watch this! I'm going to go up the arm!
Watch me! Watch me! Look at me!
95
00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:11,200
Did I see what you did?
96
00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:13,500
Did I see what you did?
97
00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:16,120
Just watch this.
98
00:09:16,340 --> 00:09:17,390
All right?
99
00:09:17,540 --> 00:09:18,760
All right, here we go.
100
00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:25,479
Right. I'm going to jump off the back of
the couch, bounce on the cushions, go
101
00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:30,539
up in the air, do a single somersault
with two twists and land on the floor in
102
00:09:30,540 --> 00:09:31,590
the splits.
103
00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:36,180
So just stand back and be yours.
104
00:09:55,310 --> 00:10:00,730
The best thing to do is... OK,
105
00:10:01,790 --> 00:10:02,840
OK, OK.
106
00:10:02,841 --> 00:10:05,889
Everyone, the power will be back on in
the flat soon.
107
00:10:05,890 --> 00:10:09,349
Not exactly sure what happened. Some
sort of short circuit caused the power
108
00:10:09,350 --> 00:10:11,289
surge through the building. That's
right.
109
00:10:11,290 --> 00:10:15,140
And the power surge blew up the motor in
my fridge. It's completely destroyed.
110
00:10:15,790 --> 00:10:18,690
Has anyone got any idea how this could
have happened?
111
00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:27,300
No. Not at all.
112
00:10:55,050 --> 00:10:58,710
Our first session of the day, our
oriental combat workshop.
113
00:10:59,070 --> 00:11:04,610
Great, is this the bit where we unleash
the power of the prime warrior?
114
00:11:06,290 --> 00:11:07,970
No, that's later.
115
00:11:08,930 --> 00:11:10,390
That's later? Yes.
116
00:11:10,710 --> 00:11:13,470
Well, let's get changed while I explain.
117
00:13:25,710 --> 00:13:29,430
So you can read a book or go for a walk
or chat amongst yourselves.
118
00:13:30,470 --> 00:13:31,520
Great.
119
00:13:31,990 --> 00:13:34,820
I'm going to go for a long walk and
collect autumn leaves.
120
00:13:34,950 --> 00:13:36,950
You better make it a really long walk.
121
00:13:37,230 --> 00:13:39,030
Why? It's spring.
122
00:13:40,910 --> 00:13:47,529
Oh, actually, before all you fellas head
off, I do need a volunteer to help me
123
00:13:47,530 --> 00:13:51,270
build a campfire. Is anybody interested
in helping me with that?
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00:13:52,190 --> 00:13:53,240
Frank?
125
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:01,950
Do you want to give me a hand with the
campfire?
126
00:14:08,140 --> 00:14:12,920
Do I have to?
127
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:18,990
You know, I don't think you're pulling
your weight, frankly.
128
00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:20,160
My name's not frankly.
129
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,020
What? You dropped the wood.
130
00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:26,330
Where?
131
00:14:27,820 --> 00:14:29,500
Frankly, my name's Frank Woodley.
132
00:14:30,340 --> 00:14:31,390
What?
133
00:14:31,660 --> 00:14:33,460
Frankly, it makes me uncomfortable.
134
00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:35,280
What makes you uncomfortable?
135
00:14:36,420 --> 00:14:37,470
Frankly.
136
00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:41,310
Well, yes, I'd prefer it if you were
honest with me. What's upsetting you?
137
00:14:41,900 --> 00:14:43,700
I don't like it when you drop the wood.
138
00:14:43,740 --> 00:14:47,919
I didn't drop the wood. Frankly, I don't
know what you're talking about. Don't
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00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:49,880
call me frankly. Just cut the wood.
140
00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:52,390
I'm not cutting the wood. It's part of
my name.
141
00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:56,660
Just grab the axe and cut up some pieces
of timber for me.
142
00:14:58,410 --> 00:14:59,910
Oh, okay. Why didn't you say so?
143
00:15:05,330 --> 00:15:06,650
You know what we should do?
144
00:15:07,190 --> 00:15:09,610
We should have a big campfire sing
-along. Great.
145
00:15:09,611 --> 00:15:12,769
And sing some songs that everybody knows
and we can all join in and have a great
146
00:15:12,770 --> 00:15:13,820
time. Fantastic.
147
00:15:14,010 --> 00:15:15,510
Okay. Has anybody got a guitar?
148
00:15:16,990 --> 00:15:18,040
Oh, here's one.
149
00:15:18,190 --> 00:15:20,600
Oh, okay. So what's a song that
everybody knows?
150
00:15:20,850 --> 00:15:22,030
Oh, I know.
151
00:15:29,950 --> 00:15:33,390
They drag along the ground when she
walks.
152
00:15:33,970 --> 00:15:39,050
They... Come on, everyone. They get
tangled all round her tootsies.
153
00:15:40,530 --> 00:15:41,790
Enormous heels, old girl.
154
00:15:42,590 --> 00:15:46,070
Surely you... Why don't we just make a
song up?
155
00:15:46,550 --> 00:15:50,690
You play some music and I'll make up
some words. Come on. Okay. It'll be
156
00:15:52,230 --> 00:15:56,990
Oh, Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are
calling.
157
00:15:57,859 --> 00:16:00,420
That sounds pretty good. It does. From
Glen to Glen.
158
00:16:00,421 --> 00:16:03,979
Hey, Glen. Yes, Glen. Listen to these
pipes, Glen. They sound great, Glen.
159
00:16:03,980 --> 00:16:05,600
Thanks, Glen. Bye, Glen. Bye, Glen.
160
00:16:05,860 --> 00:16:08,100
And down the mountainside.
161
00:16:09,300 --> 00:16:11,140
Tom and Lane, I'm Pan Pipe Solo.
162
00:16:36,581 --> 00:16:44,349
Well, we've all had a great day, haven't
we, fellas? We've learnt a lot. And the
163
00:16:44,350 --> 00:16:49,389
trance dance in the teepee where we were
all possessed by our own personal
164
00:16:49,390 --> 00:16:51,710
animal spirit guide was most impressive.
165
00:16:52,130 --> 00:16:55,370
My personal animal spirit guide was the
wolf.
166
00:16:56,050 --> 00:16:57,100
What was yours?
167
00:16:57,790 --> 00:17:02,970
Mine was... ..the aconda.
168
00:17:05,690 --> 00:17:07,550
Don't you mean anaconda?
169
00:17:08,010 --> 00:17:09,589
It wasn't just anaconda.
170
00:17:09,950 --> 00:17:11,790
It was the Wakanda.
171
00:17:11,791 --> 00:17:17,449
Frank, when are you going to start
taking this seriously? Look, this whole
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00:17:17,450 --> 00:17:19,890
weekend is to make you into a man.
173
00:17:20,329 --> 00:17:22,410
You know, I might not be around forever.
174
00:17:23,530 --> 00:17:26,510
Oh, listen to those crickets.
175
00:17:26,810 --> 00:17:28,310
Isn't it great to be in...
176
00:17:41,091 --> 00:17:48,299
The sprinklers have been switched off
and we'll have everything cleaned up
177
00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:50,400
soon. Well, it's a bit late now.
178
00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:55,119
First, my fridge is blown up. Now my
brand new leather couch is completely
179
00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:56,620
ruined. I'm very sorry.
180
00:17:56,980 --> 00:18:00,110
I just can't understand how the
sprinklers and alarm went off.
181
00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:03,570
I mean, there must have been a fire of
some sort to activate them.
182
00:18:03,571 --> 00:18:07,379
Now, is everyone very sure they weren't
doing anything at all in their flat that
183
00:18:07,380 --> 00:18:08,580
could have caused this?
184
00:18:12,180 --> 00:18:14,100
No, we weren't. Absolutely.
185
00:18:14,980 --> 00:18:16,030
So,
186
00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:24,700
after all the sharing we've done over
the last couple of days,
187
00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:27,520
it's the activity we've all been waiting
for.
188
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:29,960
I think you know what I'm talking about.
189
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:36,640
Unleash the power.
190
00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:40,770
the Primal Warrior?
191
00:18:41,780 --> 00:18:47,420
Exactly! We're going to unleash the
power of the Primal Warrior!
192
00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:57,939
Now, our first
193
00:18:57,940 --> 00:19:04,260
test is the test of our ability to
overcome pain by using the power of the
194
00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:10,700
Now, in this plastic bag, I have
prickles, And sharp twigs.
195
00:19:11,020 --> 00:19:13,190
Now I'm going to sprinkle them on the
floor.
196
00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:20,240
And then, harnessing the power of the
primal warrior,
197
00:19:20,340 --> 00:19:25,940
I will walk across these prickles
barefoot.
198
00:19:26,900 --> 00:19:29,580
And I will feel no pain.
199
00:19:31,460 --> 00:19:33,630
Don't try and stop me, Frank. It's all
right.
200
00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:00,120
have to try something else.
201
00:20:00,740 --> 00:20:04,120
Right. This next test is the test of
your courage.
202
00:20:05,660 --> 00:20:06,710
Right.
203
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:08,610
Right.
204
00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:13,280
You take this apple and I'll take this
bow and arrow.
205
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:18,319
Okay. Now you put the apple on your
head, on your head. Come on. And I'm
206
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:19,370
to stand over there.
207
00:20:19,460 --> 00:20:24,499
Now I've never used a bow and arrow in
my life, but harnessing the power of the
208
00:20:24,500 --> 00:20:28,120
inner warrior, I'm going to shoot this
arrow through your head.
209
00:20:28,781 --> 00:20:31,619
Through the apple on your head.
210
00:20:31,620 --> 00:20:32,670
Right, okay.
211
00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:34,170
I don't know.
212
00:20:34,540 --> 00:20:39,299
I'm not sure about this. I just, I don't
feel that. In fact, I just remembered
213
00:20:39,300 --> 00:20:42,199
I've got this overdue library book. I've
got to take it back. Come on, Frank.
214
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:43,250
Come on.
215
00:20:43,360 --> 00:20:44,420
Don't you trust me?
216
00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:46,280
I know exactly what I'm doing.
217
00:20:52,060 --> 00:20:53,580
Okay, Frank.
218
00:20:54,180 --> 00:20:55,230
You stand here.
219
00:20:55,420 --> 00:20:57,480
You stand here and repeat after me.
220
00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:59,240
I am the warrior.
221
00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:05,480
you better than that.
222
00:21:56,750 --> 00:21:59,640
the fact that my Autumn Leaf album was
in my jacket pocket.
223
00:22:01,770 --> 00:22:04,480
That arrow would have gone straight
through my heart.
224
00:22:05,650 --> 00:22:08,050
And now for our next test.
225
00:22:09,530 --> 00:22:10,580
Next test?
226
00:22:11,850 --> 00:22:12,900
Next test?
227
00:22:14,110 --> 00:22:16,510
What the hell are you talking about?
228
00:22:17,090 --> 00:22:18,910
There isn't going to be a next test.
229
00:22:19,150 --> 00:22:21,410
If it wasn't for pure luck, I'd be a
dead man.
230
00:22:21,790 --> 00:22:25,829
Come on, Frank, calm down. I'm sure
you're just making a big deal out of
231
00:22:25,830 --> 00:22:31,510
nothing. I'm sure that if we... It's
okay, I've got my shoe on. It's okay.
232
00:22:32,550 --> 00:22:33,600
What was I thinking?
233
00:22:33,710 --> 00:22:36,540
What was I thinking? This whole weekend
has been a farce.
234
00:22:36,930 --> 00:22:38,550
Come on, Frank, calm down.
235
00:22:38,930 --> 00:22:40,190
I'm not going to calm down.
236
00:22:40,910 --> 00:22:44,730
Penis doesn't stand for primal,
enlightened noblemen in society.
237
00:22:45,790 --> 00:22:46,840
It stands for...
238
00:24:00,010 --> 00:24:05,809
great you guys living together you must
really love each other love each other
239
00:24:05,810 --> 00:24:08,370
love each other
240
00:26:09,900 --> 00:26:11,240
You owe me $999.
241
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:13,490
No way!
242
00:26:13,780 --> 00:26:15,340
Your workshop was a jack!
243
00:26:16,580 --> 00:26:17,630
But don't you see?
244
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:21,500
By the end of the weekend, you stood up
to me.
245
00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:24,480
You were courageous and assertive.
246
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:29,860
Frank, I think you've become a man.
247
00:26:32,300 --> 00:26:34,540
I think you're right, Cole.
248
00:26:34,940 --> 00:26:37,360
I believe I've become as big a man as
you.
249
00:26:37,361 --> 00:26:38,689
Well, I wouldn't go...
250
00:26:38,690 --> 00:26:43,240
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