Original subtitles

♪ When darkness be closin' in ♪

♪ I motivate, with the howlin' wind ♪

♪ Knowin' that your end is beginnin' ♪

♪ Swift silent and deadly ♪

♪ There's no defending my plots ♪

♪ I know your every movement ♪

♪ For six months I watch ♪

♪ Could've got you at your baby's mother's house ♪

♪ Even at your down-low…spot ♪

♪ But the backdrop wasn't flattering enough ♪

Ay-ay-ay.

Bat seems to be working.

You know the name of this thing?

-Galatasaray? -That's a football team.

-It's probably Fenerbahce. -Also, a football team.

-Kebab? -Enough!

Shut the fuck up.

Although he's right.

She's called Kebab because I'm gonna make Kebab out of you.

-Eating people is haram. -I'm not gonna eat you.

Just kill you. -Ah, that's okay.

No, it's not.

Enough! Now let me choose.

But this is like "The Walking Dead," innit?

-Who dies in that? -The Asian one.

-Yes. -And the white guy, too.

-Shit. -And, brother, if it influences

your decision here, he's got ginger pubes

like the guy in "The Walking Dead," innit?

-He definitely has, yeah. -He has.

Why are you putting that out there?

Snitch. -Which one of you has to go?

Alright. Okay, gentlemen.

It's been a pleasure serving with you brothers.

I'm ready.

We've all gotta go sometime.

See you in hell, lads.

No diddy.

I ain't never loved a man like I love you, bro.

-I love you too, man. -I love you, man.

I love you boys from the bottom of my heart.

-Shut -- Shut up. -This ain't a love triangle.

It ain't a love triangle, mate.

Eenie, meenie, minie, mo.

Which one of you has to…

go? You!

-Nate. -On your knees!

No. No. Not like this, Uncle. Not like this.

-No, no, no, no. -You can't do this.

Not like this, Uncle Shadoo.

He's the oldest, so it makes sense.

-Shut up. -What the fuck?

It has been a pleasure being your uncle and your tits.

-And my tits. -Thank you.

My tits? What does that even mean?

Shh.

Aaargh! -Uncle!

Aaaargh!

No one can kill Shady, bastards.

What's going on here, Uncle?!

Oh, he is not uncle.

He is the great Mohammed Shah Shaheed.

Who the fuck is that?

Or as we like to call him, General Fizzy.

-General who? -What?

Lower your guns, my boys.

Me and General Fizzy had our fun.

Let me show you how we know each other.

-What the fuck is happening? -Yeah, let's show them, bastard.

-I'm done with you. -Bastard Uncle, bastard!

I'm General Fizzy.

All hail General Fizzy.

Attention. Have a drink. Be cool.

Mmm, fizzy.

Let's get fizzy, comrade.

Super fizzy.

Crush your thirst.

Magic fizzy.

Fizzy party.

Go to war with your thirst.

Be cool. Take a drink.

Orange juice! It will quench your thirst!

So, you mean to tell us

you dragged us to a scrapyard at gunpoint

and gave us PTSD for bants?

-What is bants? -Jokey times.

Yeah. Uncle just wanted to give you

something to remember.

Fuck my arse, Uncle Thank you so much.

You should be grateful.

It's a cool memory.

He text me before you left the UK, and we hatched a plan.

Why didn't you tell us you're a star in Turkey?

None of your business.

And you've followed us all over the city?

Bants… I suppose you can say.

Wait, so you're like a big deal over here, Shady.

None of your business.

He is a legend.

General Fizzy and his commercial

make the revenues of my company, Sondurmek, go up by 800%.

-Well done! -So, how'd you become an actor?

Same way I shag your mum.

I just did it.

Oh, ay-ay-ay-ay.

Damn!

Well, uh, this has been…

absolutely terrible.

We've got places to be! -No!

Tonight my company throws a banquet

to honour General Fizzy,

and you must all attend.

Oh, that was good.

That was so good.

You will all attend!

Or I will kill you all.

Oh, this guy, he got me again.

-I can't read these, man. -Neither can I.

What the fuck is happening, bro?

Anyway, thank you, brother.

This is not bants.

You are coming to fucking the banquet.

Well, boys,

I guess we're going to fucking the banquet.

-Okay, let's. -Okay, let's all go

and fuck the banquet together.

Let's go. Let's go.

Good bants!

See you at the banquet, boys.

-Who's gonna get us now? -♪ Time keeps on slippin' ♪

♪ Into the future ♪

♪ Said, time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin' ♪

Oh, hey, hey.

Oi, oi.

-Do you know who it is? -This can't be.

-It is. -It can't be.

It's Turkish Uncle Shady!

-Yeah! -Let's start!

Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi!

♪ Busta Rhymes now ♪

♪ M.O.P. now ♪ -Hey!

♪ What you want, what you want now? ♪

♪ What you want, what you want now? ♪

♪ What you want, what you want now? ♪

♪ What you want, want, want, want, want, want, buck, buck ♪

-♪ Ante up ♪ -♪ No, cut that fool ♪

♪ They want to act stupid, gun-butt that fool ♪

-What, is this the place? -Yes.

♪ When I cock that tool run your damn jewels ♪

♪ 'Fore we…around and lay you up ♪

Mobeenis, remember

you have to answer the phone call at seven, right?

But first, we will have great party inside.

Let's go!

Let's go, Uncle.

♪ Left on your ass ♪

Ladies and gentlemen,

it's the man himself.

Please welcome General Fizzy!

Let's get this party started, bastards.

♪ Y'all gon' make me lose my mind ♪

♪ Up in here, up in here ♪

♪ Y'all gon' make me go all out ♪

♪ Up in here, up in here ♪

♪ Y'all gon' make me act a fool ♪

♪ Up in here, up in here ♪

♪ Y'all gon' make me lose my cool ♪

♪ Up in here, up in here ♪

♪ If I gots to bring it to you cowards ♪

♪ Then it's gonna be quick ♪

♪ All your mans that been to jail before, suck my… ♪

♪ And all them other cats you run with ♪

♪ Get done with dumb quick ♪

♪ How the…you gon' cross the dog on some bum… ♪

♪ There go the gun click, 911 ♪ -♪ What ♪

♪ All over some dumb…ain't that some… ♪

♪…remind me of a strip club ♪

♪ 'Cause every time you come around, it's like what? ♪

♪ I just gotta get my…sucked ♪

♪ And I don't know who the…you think you talkin' to ♪

♪ But I'm not him, aight, Slim, so watch what you do ♪

♪ Or you gon' find yourself buried next to someone else ♪

Oi! Stop it!

Give it to me! -Bastard! No, no, bastard, no!

Give it to me. He's my Mobeen.

♪ Preacher tellin' the truth and it hurts ♪

♪ Y'all gon' make me lose my mind ♪

♪ Up in here, up in here ♪

♪ Y'all gon' make me go all out ♪

Enough, enough, enough. No. Enough, enough.

♪ Y'all gon' make me act a fool ♪

That's too much, Uncle. That's too much, Uncle.

♪ Y'all gon' make me lose my cool ♪

♪ Up in here, up in here ♪

♪ Off the chain, I leave…soft in the brain ♪

♪ 'Cause… still want the fame ♪

-Mate, look at me. -What happened?

-And be 100% honest. -Okay.

What's wrong with me?

Hey! Don't say that, man.

What's wrong with you? -No, no, seriously,

I can't win in life, I can't win with girls.

Mate, don't say that. There's --

There's loads of good things about you.

Like what?

See?

Your mum's a very hospitable woman.

Leave it, mate.

Hey, hey, oi, oi, oi.

Come here. You be strong, strong.

Be strong, bro, okay?

Say it with me now.

Inshallah, I'm gonna get a wife.

Be strong.

Inshallah, I'm gonna get a wife.

You go. You never know what's round the corner.

Come, dance with me.

Oh, go, innit.

Go.

Oi, dry your hand, dry your hands.

Miracles do happen. Thank you, Allah.

Hello?

♪ Y'all gon' make me lose my mind ♪

It's the best thing we've ever done.

-Ever. -I know.

-Chai Boyz. -Yeah.

♪ Go all out up in here, up in here ♪

♪ Y'all gon' make me act a fool up in here ♪

What are we doing here?

What is it, man? I was loving it in there.

I was having the time of my life.

-Yes! -Can you lot shut up a minute?

I just got the drop on Khan's address,

but it's a long-arse way away from here.

We have to go now. -Oh, yeah, we need to go.

Oh, mate, don't say that. I just met the love of my life.

Brother, don't you worry, okay?

You will get another Tyson Fury-sized Turkish wife.

Say Inshallah. -Inshallah.

-There you go. -What about Shady?

If we take him away from his people right now,

we're gonna cause a riot in here.

I've got a plan. It's gonna help us

avoid that geezer with the baseball bat,

the mad one, okay? -Yeah.

-Are we ready for this? -Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know why we came here in the first place. Let's go.

Yeah, let's go, let's go, let's go.

In the name of Allah. Uncle, let's go.

Sorry, sorry. Pardon, pardon, pardon.

Who in here would like a free selfie

with General Fizzy?

Free selfie!

No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, it's not -- it's not free.

400 lira if you want a selfie.

It's 400 lira.

It's not free, but I will take my shirt off

if you want bare chest for 1,000 lira.

Go, go, go!

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Let's take 'em back ♪

♪ Coming up I was confused, my mommy kissing a girl ♪

♪ Confusion occurs comin' up in the cold world ♪

♪ Daddy ain't around, probably out committin' felonies ♪

♪ My favourite rapper used to sing ♪

♪ "Check, check out my melody" ♪

♪ I wanna live good so, shit ♪

♪ I sell dope for a four-finger ring ♪

♪ One of them gold ropes, Nana told me ♪

♪ If I passed I'd get a sheepskin coat ♪

♪ If I can move a few packs I'd get the hat ♪

♪ Now that'd be dope ♪

♪ Tossed and turned in my sleep that night ♪

♪ Woke up the next morning…had stole my bike ♪

♪ Different day, same shit, ain't nothing good in the hood ♪

♪ I'd run away from this bitch and never come back if I could ♪

♪ Hate it or love it, the underdog's on top ♪

♪ And I'm gon' shine, homie, until my heart stop ♪

♪ Go 'head, envy me ♪

♪ I'm rap's MVP ♪

♪ And I ain't going nowhere, so you can get to know me ♪

♪ Hate it or love It, the underdog's on top ♪

♪ And I'm gon' shine, homie, until my heart stop ♪

♪ Go 'head envy me ♪

♪ I'm rap's MVP ♪

Shit.

-Climbing these gates, yeah? -If you can reach it.

You'll fit through the little railings.

Yeah, very funny, sister fucker.

Mobeenis…

I just wanted to say

this has been so fun, so good for me.

I really like you, man. Honestly.

Hey, me too. Honestly.

-You too, Uncle. -Don't touch me, bastard.

Sorry, sorry, sorry. Sorry.

Uh, Mobeenis, one more thing.

Yes, brother. You still owe me money

for haircut. Don't forget.

God, we are about to die. Can you just let it go?

Well, that why I mention it now.

You have money on you?

There you go.

50p short. Shame on you.

You do know this is a trap, don't you, Mobes, def.

He's took your sister to get you here so he can kill you.

Yeah, and don't forget you have to kill Khan.

That hadn't slipped my mind, big boy.

So, what's the plan? You told me you had a plan.

You've definitely got a plan, right?

Oye, fucker, what's the plan?

If you've dragged us all here without a plan,

you've absolutely done us.

He does have a plan.

To Kill Khan.

No one's killing Khan.

I've said it 50 times. I'm not gonna kill Khan, okay?

Yeah? -But remember,

you kill Khan or Hakan kills you.

Shit, I might have to kill Khan.

-No way! -That's the best

that you could do! -Are you joking?

English bastards, what the fuck?!

English bastards, what are you saying?!

Listen! What is the plan?

-Here's my plan. -Oh, for fuck's sake.

Very nice to meet you.

No, she's not your friend.

Well, gentlemen.

Of all the wankers in the world, Mobes, why this one?

Why? -I know.

Nice to see you, too, Nate.

Delivering this bowl of cookie dough to my dad

will prove my way of doing things is the right way.

And, by the way, Hakan -- he's been dealt with.

He's gone to the big kebab shop in the sky.

-That's a bit racist. -What?

No! -So sorry for your loss, bro.

No, it's not that. He owed me a tenner!

Oh, my God. Stingy.

Are you gonna get us in his house then or what?

It's Nida.

What do you need-a?

Nothing. It's Nida.

We don't need anything, thank you.

You need to open the door!

It's your boss's daughter.

Shit, he need a new intercom.

Ah, Mobeen!

Welcome to Istanbul.

Welcome to my kingdom.

How did he get up this incline? He's old as shit.

Mobeen.

Don't worry about it.

Assalam u Alaikum, son.

Wa Alaikum Assalam.

Come on.

This will do me and mum nice.

So, I've delivered Mobeen. Now what?

Better late than never.

So, guys, everything okay?

Yeah, not -- not too bad, I guess.

Not too bad, thanks.

My cheeks got clapped three times in half an hour.

Stop it. Please. Stop it.

Where's my sister?

Burak!

Hey.

Okay? -I'm okay. Are you?

-I'm good. -Good, 'cause when we

get out of here, I'm gonna kill you.

You knew he was a mad dog, and you never said a bloody word.

You could have just had this chat on WhatsApp, you know.

-Shut up, Saj. -Shut up.

Dad, what's going on here?

So, Mobeen.

What was your plan when you got here?

I was -- I was gonna, um…

You see…

you could still save your sister.

You just have to do one more thing for me.

Dad.

Shh, shh, shh.

Come on.

Follow me.

I want to show you something.

All of you.

This is all his house.

It's a park.

That's where I burn people, you know.

Ha.

Yeah, barbecue time. Oh-ho.

-Go on then. -Why am I going first?

Shit, Mobeen.

Get everybody out.

Sit.

Sit down!

No, no, no, joking. Get up.

You see, Mobeen,

Small Heath, Sharjah,

Istanbul.

The organisation is an international one now.

-Mubarak. -Thank you.

Now, if you'll indulge me for a moment,

I'd like to tell you all a little story.

It's about a man who came to Small Heath,

oh, a long time ago, with nothing.

Sounding like a shit story.

Shut the fuck up!

Sorry, Uncle Jee.

I'm talking!

Sorry, man. Chill.

This man worked in a factory.

He was the only Pakistani there,

and one day all his friends decided to have a party

at one of their social clubs.

Together they moved the furniture.

Together they had lunch.

Together they had fun.

But when it came to the time of the party,

his friends looked at him and said two words --

"Go home."

Bastards!

I swear by Allah, that is sad.

Yeah. So this man changed his path.

He made a lot of money,

and he put some of that money into the lives of the people

that mattered to him most -- the community.

He funded hospital wings, schools, housing projects.

You see, Mobeen, you can chuck your morals in the river

but still achieve something.

You can do good things with bad money.

But with no money, can't do anything.

I agree, Dad.

Now, shall I kill this piece of shit?

-Oye, You sister, oye, oye, oye. -Every time, try to kill me.

-What? -Relax.

Putting a bullet in him

gets rid of another headache for us.

Jerry's gone, Hakan's gone.

It's just us ruling the Ends again now.

I mean, why don't we just kill all of them?

Put the gun down.

You know, you've made enough fucking mistakes recently.

Why am I never enough?

Enough for what?

-I can do this. -Do what?

I can be you.

Me?

This is because I'm a woman, right?

It's nothing to do with you being a woman.

She's a woman! She can do it!

You're right, I could.

'Cause your daughter, shit gangster.

Shut the fuck up.

You couldn't even save your nephew.

And -- And you couldn't save your cousin.

-And that's your fault. -Oh, so now we're gonna

have a row about this? -Dad why do you always do --

Hey there, guys. Um, sorry to interrupt,

but it appears that you guys have something

to work through together as a family,

so you two take time, and, uh, we'll see you later.

Don't even think about it. Get the fuck back here.

All of you, you fucking idiots, get back.

You see, you still don't get it, do you?

You see, to be a leader,

you have to --

you have to like people.

You need charisma, like him.

What?

I have something for you, Mobeen.

Even when you were a child, I knew.

I knew you were somebody who could be trusted.

This is a gift of trust.

You see, you need to start from the bottom.

You know, even after you were stabbed and betrayed,

you saved the life

of the person that means the most…

…by travelling around the world.

This is what a leader looks like.

You were choosing him?

Hm-mm.

Hm-mm, mm.

Do you want to change your mind?

Ooh, no respect at home.

I will do it.

Nida, have some shame. Stop it.

That's it. Go on.

-Don't push me. -Go on.

She dead.

All hail for General Fizzy.

-♪ Snoop Dogg! ♪ -♪ Da, da, da, da, da ♪

Oh, shit.

Everybody is dead, bastard.

Very, very dead, bastards.

All hail Uncle sister fucker Shady.

Oi, you, come here.

You okay?

Shit, my boy, had a terrible life.

I'm so sorry for your life, okay?

♪ See the lads been chilling in the T, run it, run it ♪

♪ Yeah, the weekday dragging, the food's been slapping ♪

♪ The packs stay stacking, the cats keep catting ♪

♪ Late night grind get the money all steep ♪

♪ Yeah, the coupe broke down, gotta book me a ride ♪

♪ That will get me back sides, cah I'm falling off time ♪

♪ Gotta bell up my slime, get back to the G's ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Sorry, but I got me no time ♪

Shit.

Big Mobeen, I want a car like that.

You don't want a car like that.

Yeah, I do. Your life is sick.

No, my life is not sick.

Hey.

You know whose life you want?

That weird old uncle?

Oi.

Fuck if you man knew.

Hey, stay out the mud, kid, yeah?

-Can I have £300? -For what?

My mate was supposed to buy a laptop,

but they gave him a dead cat in a bag.

I still can't believe he didn't check inside.

Listen, when you go to the shop to buy a can of Coke,

you don't check to see if it's got Coke in it, do you?

Exactly.

Stay out of trouble, yeah?

-Saying, bro? -Same old. You okay, yeah?

-Good. -Oh, you!

How are ya?

Good.

-My brother. -Saying.

You okay?

What's next then, Mobes?

We've got a lot to discuss.

Well, we're just getting started, innit?

I've said this since day one.

I can't escape this life.

But a strong king of the jungle is always good for the Ends.

And if it weren't me, there'd be some next man.

At least this way, I can use this bad money

to try and do some good things.

We'll see you around sometime.