All language subtitles for Chair Company S01E05

Let's get this greedy fucker.

There he is!

I knew I thought
I'd seen that guy before!

Goddamn it.

That's where you saw Ken Tucker?

Yeah, that's where I know him from.

That's where I know him from.

Goddamn it.

Red Ball is a shell company.

- What?
- So, he's not the CFO.

Those bios, they're all fake.

They just paid people to pretend

like they were the board
of the company.

He's a model. They're all models.

Shit.

Oh, shit.

What about those?
What about your papers?

What were you gonna do?

It's stupid. It's stupid.

- Yeah, but what is it?
- Forget about it.

- It's stupid.
- Oh, my god.

- What is it?
- She is gorgeous.

It was just a revenge plan I had.

I was just so fucking mad at my boss.

What was the plan?

In its perfect version,
I was supposed to

snatch his turds in the pipe
after he flushed 'em

so I could return 'em back
to his desk...

I can't fucking hear you.
You have to speak louder to me.

In its perfect version,
I was supposed to snatch...

You gotta speak louder,
I can't hear what you're saying.

'Cause that would have fucked him up!

Seeing something you did
flushed down the toilet

get returned back to you
with the date and time you did it?

That's fucked up.

You wouldn't have any idea
how that happened.

You know, you'd be like,
"Uh, something's going on here."

- Oh, my god.
- Oh, yeah.

I went there a few weeks ago
to do a little test run

but I got my fucking hand
caught in a pipe.

Ran out of there screaming.

Why do you hate your boss so much?

'Cause he told me everyone
at Tecca worked naked.

But then one day,
I go into a bathroom

I don't usually go into

and there are like
four other guys in there

fully clothed!

So, I go back to my boss,
I'm like, "Uh, hello?

There's guys with clothes on.
What the hell?"

And then, it turns out he's not even
supposed to be my boss.

I'm supposed to be his boss!

He just got there before me
and made himself my fucking boss!

My god, she's gorgeous.

Steven, why isn't there
a hydraulic lever

on the Tecca chair?

- There is.
- No, there's not.

I think there is.

Yeah, sorry, I think I'd know.
There is.

I just told my daughter
all this stuff

and now none of it's real.

Come on, Mike, let's go.

I'm gonna keep playing, Ron.

These girls are unbelievable.

Oh, my gosh!

God, it's a nightmare out here.

Oh, hey, listen.

If they do not invest
in what you're doing...

- Yeah.
- fuck 'em.

Okay? You got it.

Thank you...

- Thank you so much, Tara.
- Seriously.

Hey, Sethy boy. Bring it in.

Bye...

That's a mama bear hug right there.

Thank you so much
for showing me Frankenweenie.

It meant a lot.

It was really nice spending time
with you guys.

- For me and for Tara.
- It was a lot of fun, Nat.

Will you let me know what's going on?

You're a little interested, huh?

I'll keep you posted.

But a lot of that stuff I told you,
I think might be dead ends.

- So, no thebaine?
- Nah.

I got some new ideas, though.

I'm sorry. What the hell?

Oh, it's the exterminator.

- Hello?
- Ron, you got a sec?

Natalie.

Yeah, we're actually
on our way home right now.

- Is everything okay?
- You're good to come back.

I'm just calling
because I did find a couple of bugs

in your house I've never seen before.

Oh, weird.

I'm going to take them to my guy
to take a look.

They're your parents, okay?

It's your life, too.
They'll understand.

If we find out it's a brand-new bug

do you mind if I named it after me?

Okay, all right, I have to talk
to you a little later, okay?

Hey, what are you guys
talking about over here?

- Oh, malls, Ron.
- Malls.

We're just talking malls.
Talking shop about malls.

For real, what are you talking about?

- It seemed serious.
- Nah, it's not that big a deal.

- Here, let me get this.
- Oh, thank you, Tara.

- Thank you so much.
- After you. Yeah.

- Don't shut it on me.
- Oh, sorry.

- I'm sorry. I thought...
- Wait 'til I'm in there.

Wednesday, if you were thinking
of coming to that.

It's only like four hours long.

Douglas is back, everyone.

Hey!

- There he is.
- Oh, my god.

I can't tell you how good it feels
to see all of you again.

There were times when I wasn't sure
I would make it out of there alive.

Luckily, I was under a refrigerator

so I was able
to swing open the freezer

and have access to food.

I couldn't pick what I had.

I just grabbed
whatever I could touch.

But I was able to survive,
even though I couldn't pick.

I had a lot of time
to think under that fridge.

And I'd like to apologize
to all of you for the party.

Douglas, forget it.
We're just happy you're back.

You're just the kindest people.

Douglas, glad you're all right.

Thanks, Ron.

I wanna take a look
at the mall plans.

I wanna make sure
we have enough wheelchair access.

I just wanna be certain
that we're ADA compliant.

You know what ADA is?

Yeah, I know what ADA is,
and we're completely complying.

I intend to be
all over this one, buddy.

I'm not gonna let you take shortcuts
on those ramps.

How long are you in the wheelchair?

They think, like,
two to eight months.

It's sort of up to me.

Excuse me one second.
Glad you're back.

- Yeah?
- I found Oliver Probblo.

He's outside Dayton.

Okay, everybody, coming through.
Bags off the floor, please.

Bags off the floor. Doris, bag.

- Huh?
- Pick your bag up, sweetie.

It's a bit of a drive

but we can go talk to him
tomorrow night.

Can you swing it?

Brenda. Brenda, hey.

They're blasting the ledge
at the site on Wednesday

and I told Andrew Bohldo
from Canton Natural Defense

that I would be there to oversee it.

Yeah. Whatever, Ron.

Oh, and I have some news
we really need to sit down about.

You know what, I'll wait
'til Jeff gets back from his trip.

I can talk right now.
I don't leave 'til tomorrow.

No, we'll talk when you get back.

It's gonna take
a little while to process.

- Hello?
- Come on down, Mike, I'm outside.

Come up, I'm just popping out
of the shower.

Shut your fucking fly trap, whore!
You fucking sweaty pig!

What's your cock doing on my bed?

Cock juice all over my fuckin' bed.

- What the hell happened to my...
- Hey, hey, Ron.

Hey... hey.

Yeah. I'm sorry for the mess.

So, I emailed Oliver.
You know, he was an actor.

So, I told him we were fans
so he wouldn't get spooked.

He said he was doing his show tonight

and we should go by
and talk to him after.

What are the fancy shoes for?

I don't know. Who knows where
we're gonna end up tonight.

Somewhere fancy maybe, huh?
Hey, want anything to eat?

- Oh, I'm okay.
- It's a long ride, come on.

Sit down, I'll get you something.
Come on, come on.

Ah, what the hell?
There's barf in the sink.

Goddamn it.

Let's see... here.

You want some...

some...

chicken?

You want some fried...

I'll be right with you.

Got a whole shirt and everything?

What the hell was that?

You shoulda ate some of that chicken.

That was really good pepper chicken.
Whole lotta onions.

But there's a spot we can get a bite
to eat up there.

They make the biggest freakin'
meatballs I ever seen.

They make 'em up with this gray beef.

You know, it's so gray.

You know what I'm talking about.
Gray beef.

- So, you've been there before?
- Yeah, I spent some time there.

Actually, it's a really weird town.

The people are just probably,
like, everywhere.

- Some good, some bad.
- So, what else did Oliver say?

Well, he's doing Scrooge
in A Christmas Carol up there

for the last three years.

Hey, he sent me a ton of video
'cause he thinks we're fans.

But I watched A Christmas Carol.

- It's a really good story.
- What's he doing now?

Oliver said that he tries
to find things to do as Scrooge

you know, in the off-season,
so he doesn't get rusty.

He's doing this
big performance tonight

but we'll catch up with him
after that.

Hey... hey! What are you doing?

Oh, my god!

Goddamn it!

I tried to do Scrooge in a jail,
but they were so nasty.

Spitting at me.

The Nazis were the worst,
can you believe that?

I said,
"I'm glad you're all in jail."

I hate those Nazis. I'll say it.

I didn't even want to do the jail.

My drama coach said do it.

She's insane.

- Right.
- She's been squatting

in my apartment for months.

She locked herself
in the bedroom in November

and won't leave.

Doesn't pay any rent.

Taste this. They say that's Jameson.

- I don't think it is.
- It is, sir.

Can I get one of those copper cups?

What, you want a Moscow Mule?

I need your license
if you want the cup.

- It's policy.
- You need my ID?

You're afraid I'm going
to steal the cup?

Here you go.

So, you're big fans, huh?

- Yeah, we're really big fans.
- Yeah. Yeah.

Hey, Oliver, what can you tell us
about Red Ball Market Global?

- Never heard of it.
- But you did a photo shoot for them.

No.

See right here.

This, do you remember this?

I mean, this here says
you're the CFO.

No!

These photos were taken
as an exercise

for my Life of the Party class.

- Wait, wait, what?
- Life of the Party classes.

It's classes I used to take
to help you become instantly

- the life of any party you attend...
- Excuse me.

Sir? Sir, excuse me?

Your sleeve keeps almost going
in that soup.

You should watch out.

- What?
- Your sleeve keeps almost going

in that soup, and
I just don't want it to get dirty.

So what? Why not?

Just trying to be helpful.

Don't worry about me.

Worry about yourself.
Fuckin' asshole.

All right, sorry.

What was this exercise?

We pretended to be other people.

At first,
I thought it was kinda weird

but then I started
to really have fun with it.

And you know what?

That was the day I realized
I want to be an actor.

Why did you feel it was weird?

We never did that kind of exercise
in that class before.

And there was this woman there

directing it with a photographer.

She kept saying,
"You're a businessman"

or, "You're a boss."

Who was she? Who was this woman?

Well, I'd never seen her before

so I asked Sandy,
who runs the class...

Yeah.

"Who was that lady
taking the pictures?

I wanna be an actor.

And this is my first job."

But she wouldn't tell me.

So then, I said,
"I just want to thank her.

"I don't really care
about the pictures.

I just wanna thank her
for changing my life."

So finally,
she gave me an email address

and then I hammered her.

"Give me those pictures!"
I didn't let up.

"I want those pictures!"

- So, what was her name?
- Hey, honey

I want you to meet someone.

This guy here,
he cares about my sleeve.

He's Henry Helper.

He doesn't want my sleeve
to have cheddar soup on it.

I wouldn't mess with him.

This is a coke bar.
Everyone here's a coke head.

All right, Oliver, this woman

who was taking these photographs
in the class

do you remember her name?

I should.
I emailed her about 500 times.

What was her name?

Maggie S.

Yes, Maggie S.

- "S"?
- I can't remember

what the "S" stood for
off the top of my head

but I have the emails at home
on my iPad.

I downloaded them all
from my work email

before I got kicked off it.

You have the name on your iPad?

Come back to the apartment

and I'll look up the name for you.

But first, I gotta do some coke.

- Then, we'll leave.
- Uh-oh!

Exactly what you didn't want
to happen is happening.

Too bad you can't help!

There you go.

That's 75 for the baggie.

Sold.

Here's 80, my good man.

Since you love my sleeve so much,
I bet you'd like to kiss it.

Why don't you leave us alone, huh?

Hey! I know you.

- No, you don't.
- Yeah, I do.

I know some folks

that would love to know
you're back in town.

We gotta go.

I paid for the coke
with Scrooge money.

- Oh, damn it!
- How 'bout I take a little selfie?

Don't you dare take a selfie of me.

Hey, whoa, whoa, wait.
Why don't you kiss my sleeve?

We know you care about it.

We know that
it's your favorite shirt.

And I'm your favorite lay.

I'm your mama.

Why aren't you kissing
your mama's sleeve?

Aren't I your mama?

- No, you're not my goddamn mama.
- Smile!

Here comes Mama Barbie's sleeve!

- I'm not Mama Barbie!
- Yes, you are!

Here's your bottle, Mama Barbie!

Oh, god!

Hag!

Oh, shit! Go, go!

Come on... come on, get in, get in!

Quick... quick!

Oh, you little fucker!

- Oh, shit!
- Oh, my god!

- Go! Go! Step on it!
- I'm going! I'm going!

- Oh, Jesus! Oh, shit!
- Don't stop!

Get off me, hag!

Oh, no!

Go!

Where are we going?
Where are we going here?

Oh, we're close. Straight ahead.

Oh, my god. My voice.

I actually sound more like Scrooge.

- Hey, Nat, what's up?
- Are you okay?

I thought you were supposed
to be in Canton.

I am in Canton.

Dad.

Here. Here... here. Mi casa! Mi casa!

- Who is that?
- Natalie, I'm fine, okay?

I'll call you later, all right?
I'm gonna be okay.

Everything's good. Bye.

- Come on, Oliver.
- Hold on.

How'd they find us?

Oh, the fucking cup.

My ID, the policy.

Come on, Oliver, find that name.
I need the name.

- What's the "S" stand for, Oliver?
- I can't find it!

Look for the "S," Maggie S!

I'm searching for Maggie S
and there's nothing.

Oh, my god. Keep looking!
Please, please.

- Please... please.
- This is crazy.

There's a guy climbing the pole.

- Oh, no!
- Keep looking!

What happened?

Oh, my god.

What happened?

He's okay.

Oh, god! No, what are you doing?

Leave him alone! Leave... No! No!

I'm not leaving!

I'm not leaving!

- Push her out! Push her out!
- Get away from me!

Push her out!

Oh, gosh.

- Get away!
- Oh, goddamn it!

- You gotta pay rent!
- I'm never paying you rent!

This is 'cause of my sleeve.

Give me the fucking money.

I don't have any.

- Oliver? Is everything okay?
- No!

Get your hands off of me!

Hey! Hey!

Hey, come here!

Fuck!

No! No... no.

- Whoa! What the fuck?
- Don't move. Don't move.

Don't fucking move!

My fucking wife hired you,
didn't she?

- What?
- She hired you.

She sent you here
to catch me cheating.

- No, no, I'm just looking for a guy!
- Yeah... yeah.

- She did, she did.
- No!

I seen you in that green Cadillac

sitting in the parking lot
trying to catch my ass cheating.

- Yeah, that's it.
- I swear that's not me. Just please.

I gotta figure this out.

I love my wife. I wanna keep her.

Okay, okay.
This is what you're gonna do.

- Are you married?
- Yes, I'm a married man

- and I have children.
- Okay, this is what we're gonna do.

We're gonna make a video
of you cheating on your wife.

- Yeah, we have to.
- No.

What are you talking about?
I don't know your wife!

We're gonna make a video
of you kissing Gretchen

and Gretchen kissing him.
Gret-catch, you okay with that?

- Yep.
- Yeah... yeah.

- I can't do that!
- Yes, you are.

- I can't!
- Yes, you are!

- Fuck you!
- Yes, you are.

- Fucking hell.
- Yes, you are!

Okay! Okay!

All right. Get in tight. That's it.

And go.

Okay, good.

Good, a little more. One more second.

Okay, good.

Excellent. That's cheating.

All right. All right.

Fuck.

All right, now just let me
fucking process this, okay?

Okay.

I think we're fucking good.

Okay, shit.

- I'm good?
- No... no. Not yet...

Fuck. Okay, thanks.

I think we got it.

You're a good man
for doing this, man. Thank you.

- You can go. Go ahead, go on.
- Okay.

Go on, okay.

- I'm going in. Let me in.
- Are you family?

Then, you're gonna have
to wait outside.

No... no. He's family.

Yeah, that's family right there.
That's my brother.

- Ah, Mr. Trosper, you're awake.
- Yeah.

Yeah, well, it looks like
you suffered a minor concussion.

And we noticed some residual fluid
in your brain.

Did you have any kind
of head trauma prior to today?

I did have an incident
a couple of weeks ago.

Oh, two concussions back-to-back.
I'd be very careful.

Another hit could cause
some very serious permanent damage.

I'll be careful.

Thank you.

Oh, shit.

Mike, you gotta do me a favor.

Can you please take this phone
far away from here as possible?

I think Natalie's been tracking me

and I don't want her to know
I'm in the hospital.

- All right, you got it.
- Thank you.

You sleep, Ron. I'll get us home.

- Thanks, Mike.
- Yeah, you got it.

I'm sorry, Ron,
I had to make a pit stop.

Family's hard.

- That's your family?
- Yeah.

It's my daughter. It's complicated.

I don't get to see her
as much as I'd like.

- I didn't know you had a daughter.
- Yeah.

Lynette.

Isn't that a beautiful name?

I wasn't the best father or whatever.

I wasn't a good partner.

I don't wanna look back at my life
and see I was a bad guy.

- Yeah.
- You know, like Scrooge.

I don't want people
to stand on my grave and laugh.

Well, at least you tried.
That's something.

I don't want you
to pay me anymore, Ron.

- What?
- Yeah.

I don't want you to pay me.

I wanna do it
because it's the right thing to do.

And plus, we're family, huh?

Yeah, I appreciate that.

But I'm gonna keep paying you.
I mean, this is your job.

Nah, it's not a job anymore.

I wanna help you, Ron.

You know, you accidentally
hit that guy right in the dent.

You could have killed him.

That's the closest skin to the brain.

Yeah.

Yeah, got lucky, man.