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- No, I'm excited.
- Yo, is my phone in here?
- No, it's not.
Can you...
Can you knock next time, please?
- Excuse me, nips?
- I said, "Can you knock next time?"
Freaking bum.
- Why are you on the floor?
- Because I'm looking for my first aid kit.
- Why do you need that?
- In case there's a medical emergency,
isn't that obvious to you?
- The only medical emergency is gonna be me killing you.
- Is that right?
- You heard me, bitch.
- You think they're gonna have toilet paper there?
- Maybe. I don't know.
Yo, check this out.
- Sick.
- That's like a really advanced trick.
- Just in case, do you think I should bring a six pack or?
- I don't know.
I'm not a shitologist.
I don't know the ratio of squares of toilet paper to ass,
I don't know.
There's four people, so do the math.
- No, it's three people.
- No, there's four people.
- What?
What are you talking about?
- Allie's bringing her boyfriend.
- What?
That's news to me.
I thought this was supposed to be
a cousins-only camping trip.
- That's what Mom said, I don't know.
- I didn't even know Allie had a boyfriend.
- Well, apparently she does.
- Mom, I know how couples are.
I have many friends who are in relationships at school.
They're just gonna be having sex the whole time.
- They're not gonna have sex the whole time.
- Maybe not like the whole time, but it'll be a marathon.
- Okay.
You love Allie, right?
- Yes.
- So don't you think there's a pretty good chance
that you'll like her boyfriend too?
I mean, he's probably a cool guy.
He's from Austin.
- Mom, just 'cause someone's from Austin
or a cool city doesn't make him a cool person.
Like Tom, he was from Portland.
Portland's cool. He wasn't.
- You gave him a chance and I really appreciated that.
So don't you think that Allie deserves the same?
- Hi! - Hi!
Dan, this is my Aunt Nicole.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
Nice to meet you, Dan.
I've heard nice things about you.
Come on in, come on in.
How was the drive?
It was good.
Long.
- I bet. - Yeah.
- Ah, there he is.
- Hey'.
- Hi!
- Oh my God'.
Oh, it's so good to see you.
- So good to see you.
- Dude, what the heck?
You're like a man now.
I know, right?
I can't handle it.
Is he taller than Will?
- Oh shh, yeah.
Sore subject'.
Oh my gosh, I'm so rude.
Jamie, this is my boyfriend, Dan.
- It's good to meet you, bud.
- Good to meet you.
These guys are so excited to go,
especially Jamie.
But obviously let me know if they give you any trouble.
- Oh no, don't worry about that.
I'm sure they'll be fine.
But if not, we can always feed 'em to the bears.
Let's hope it doesn't come to that.
- That's funny but you know, actually,
I recently read an article
about how two newlyweds were going camping
in a national park near here and you know,
they were brutally mauled by a black bear
and it's just really tragic
and that's why safety comes first.
Like bear boxes, bear spray,
all those important things, so yeah.
- That's terrible.
Yeah.
- So, on Sunday you can drop them off whenever,
but I have tennis till 2.
Okay, sounds good.
Do you want us to wait or?
No, they're fine.
It should take about three hours.
Alright, love you!
Bye'.
You all good back there?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- No, we're chillin'. - We're good.
Alright, let's hit it.
- Bye, bye'.
Bye'.
Bye, honey'.
Yo Allie,
is there gonna be service at the campsite?
Not really, do you need it?
- I'm just trying to watch the game.
- Hey yo, what game are you talking about?
- Warriors, Mavs.
- Who you got?
- Warriors.
- Okay.
- What, you're going for the Mavs?
- Bro, I'm from Texas, of course I'm going with the Mavs.
- Nah, you're goofy.
- I'm goofy?
Who's gonna check Luka?
- Uh, how about Draymond or Klay?
Pick one.
- Nah bro, those guys are bums.
- They're bums?! - Bro, first of all,
it doesn't even matter who they put on Luka
'cause he's gonna get thirty anyway.
No he's not'.
I'll bet you my car that the Mavs beat the Warriors.
I will take that bet.
- Bet it.
- I will totally take that bet.
- Alright. - That's a W.
- How about you man? Who you got?
- Oh, I don't watch much basketball anymore, so.
- Jamie doesn't care about sports, Dan.
If it's not Barefoot Contessa, he's not interested.
- Oh yeah?
That's too bad man.
This would be a dope ass place to trip balls.
Yo, Allie, you know where I could get some shrooms?
Oh my god.
It doesn't gotta be shrooms, like, it could be DMT,
I'm game for some hardcore shit.
- I think our friend just started selling them actually.
- Why would you tell him that?
- Yo!
Oh shit!
Easy bud.
We got glass in there.
- Oh, sorry.
Hey yo, Dan the man, can I get your friend's number?
Do not give him Scott's number.
Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Alright, you got the buns in here.
Got the Pop-Tarts, why'd you get Cookies 'n Cream?
- Jamie likes them. - Oh.
Tapatio chips.
Wow, yeah, I didn't even know that was a thing.
Thanks, babe. You're welcome.
- What?
- I was just saying um...
I got the snacks. It's all good though.
- Okay.
Well, yeah thanks bud, appreciate it.
Yeah.
You got your side?
- Yeah. - Okay.
Boom.
Push it up a little bit.
Yeah.
There we go.
You got yours? Huh, you need some help?
No.
I got it.
Look at that.
It took like two seconds.
Yeah, these are like the easiest to set up.
Hey man, you need a hand?
- No, I got it.
I got it.
- Oh yeah? - Yeah.
- Have you actually ever set up a tent before or?
- No, but it can't be that hard.
- Oh, okay. - It's not rocket science.
- Just be easy with it, alright, because we--
Yep, I know.
- Here, let me just grab-- - I got it.
Oh'.
Oh shit!
- Yeah, yeah.
See that's what I was afraid of.
Sorry, um.
- It's all good, man.
Why don't you do me a favor and go in the glove box
and grab some tape for me?
- Yeah, glove box.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Hey Will, what do you think about Dan?
- He's chill.
- I feel like he doesn't like me for some reason.
- It's probably because he doesn't respect you.
- Do you think he respects you?
- Of course he does.
- Stop!
- Sorry.
- I said-
- Mmm, yummy boys in my lake.
- Don't mind if I nibble.
- Alright, that's enough.
Stop, get away from me.
- What?
I'm just a sexy sea monster.
Nothing to be afraid of. - Okay.
Stop'.
Sexy sea monster is disgusting.
How dare you'.
Give me some nips. - Oh no, no.
- Give me the nips.
Give me the nips'.
- Not that fast.
Will?
What are you, what are you looking at?
The blonde one's pretty hot.
- Yeah, sure.
- I wonder if they're staying the night.
- I'm not really in the mood
to go hang out with random people.
- Listen dude,
you still haven't had your first hookup, right?
- No, but I want to do it with someone I value,
someone I care about, you know.
- How about this?
Hook up with pigtails over there
so you won't be complete trash
when you get with someone you actually like.
- Will, that does not sound very nice.
- Listen, Jamie, girls love guys
who have hooked up with a ton of other girls.
It makes them feel like they're part of a harem.
Do you know what a harem is?
- Yeah, Will, I know what a harem is,
but I don't think it, like, makes sense in this context.
- Well, it does.
You're just not listening.
I'll take the lead, alright?
Let's move.
Yo, what's up?
Do you guys know if there's any piranhas in this lake?
- No, why?
- I swear I felt something bite me earlier.
Maybe I'm just tripping. I smoked earlier,
so I don't know.
I could be buggin'.
Anyway, what are you guys doing here?
What's up?
- We're just here with our parents.
- Yeah. - Nice.
- What about you guys?
- We're here with our cousin.
It's a vibe.
- The terrain is a little uneven.
- Yeah.
- Anyway, have you guys, like, been here before?
No, it's our first time.
Our campsite is kind of gross.
It's next to the bathroom.
- It's pretty smelly.
- Oh no.
Gross.
- That's ass, I'm sorry.
Which one are you guys at?
13, I think.
- Oh really?
I think we're like 14 or something like that.
So that's like- - Will, we're actually 22.
We are?
Yeah.
- Whatever.
So we're just gonna kinda just be chilling later tonight
if you guys wanna pull up.
- Yeah, we could maybe do that.
Word.
Nice.
- Oh! Sorry. - Oh geez.'
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
- Allie...
Are you gonna do that again?
No, see, stop. - No, it's a trickle.
It's a trickle. - Okay, okay.
Have you talked to Dennis recently?
- Not since my bar mitzvah.
Why?
- Is he okay?
He's, like, different right?
Different.
Dude......different...
- Stop'. - You know what I'm talking about'.
Okay.
- Okay, you know what I'm talking about.
- I do know what you're talking about actually.
- Oh.
Isabelle got arrested.
- You're joking. - Yeah.
Apparently she was selling fake designer handbags.
She actually tried to sell me one.
- Well, I'm not that surprised about that
because I'm pretty sure
she's the one who stole my Switch last Thanksgiving.
- Oh my God.
- What you guys playing over here?
- Gin Rummy. - Oh yeah?
Don't they play that in, like, nursing homes?
- Oh huh?
- No, it's actually an all ages game.
- Hey baby, why don't you grab the kindling for me, alright?
I'm about to get started.
- Okay, but we're in the middle of a game.
- Yeah, but you said you were hungry, right?
You wanted me to make dinner.
- Can you, like, wait just like one minute?
- Yeah, okay.
You guys forget about it, I'll just ask Will.
- No, I'll do it, Dan.
I'll do it. - Jamie, no, you don't have to.
I'll do it. - I'm serious.
I got it, relax, I got it.
Just kindling, anything else, man?
- No, no, no, that's it, yeah.
Thanks, bud.
- Cool, be right back.
How's this?
- Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a good haul, man, yeah.
That's more than enough.
Thank you. - Great.
- Okay.
I threw in some pine cones for extra fuel.
- Alright, cool.
Hey, you wanna help me build a fire?
- No, no. It's okay.
- Have you ever done it before?
- Well, kind of, but not like fully.
- Oh man, it's easy, here, pop a squat.
- Okay.
- So first thing you gotta do,
you gotta take these dried twigs and throw it in here
kind of like as the base.
- How many, like... - Yeah.
- That many?
- Yeah a few more, a few more, a few more.
Yeah, maybe a couple more.
Grab this nice one here.
- Okay. - Cool.
And then what you do is, you take these guys
and you do kind of like a log cabin thing.
Go ahead and try.
Yeah.
Cool, now you strike your match.
- Oh shit, sorry. - Oh, no, no, no.
No, no, no it's cool, it's cool, it's cool.
Just try it again.
See? You got it.
Now just throw it on in.
- Just like?
- Yeah, just throw it in, man.
It's not gonna bite you, go ahead.
Boom.
Yeah, now we just let it do its thing.
- Okay. - Good job man.
Boom.
- Are we having burgers?
- Yeah bud, it should be about say, 20 minutes or so.
- Yeah, nice.
How do you spice them?
- I'm sorry?
- Like, what's your spice blend?
What spice blend?
Don't listen to her, man.
You know, I just use a little salt, a little pepper, man.
I like to keep it simple. It's good.
- Yeah, um...
You ever tried using paprika?
- No, I haven't.
Sounds good.
Maybe next time.
- Well, actually on that note,
I did bring a couple options...
if we wanna spice things up.
Ooh, nice.
Boom.
But we don't have to use them if we don't want to here.
- No, no, no.
This is cool.
- Great.
Hey, good choice.
I'm actually pretty obsessed with that right now.
It gives everything this beautiful kick, you know?
- How old are you again?
- 14.
- Wow'.
14? - Yeah.
When I was 14, I was a dumbass.
This kid's a gourmet chef? Got me beat, man.
- These are bomb, thanks Dan.
- No, bro.
Don't thank me.
Thank Chef Jamie over here.
He's the one who took them to the next level.
- Oh, you're too kind.
If I'm gonna be honest,
I would go a little lighter on that cayenne.
But overall, I'm actually pretty happy with them.
- I think they're perfect.
- Yeah, bro. - Thank you.
- Alright, don't get a big head or anything.
They're good but they're not the best burgers I've ever had.
- Okay, whatever.
- You a food critic, bro? - Me?
- I didn't realize you were a food critic.
- I'm not.
I'm just saying I've had better burgers.
- Oh you work for The New York Times?
You're publishing a list of the best burgers
you've ever had?
Because if so, bro, just let me know when the list comes out
because I'd love to see where we rank.
- Dog, what?
Whatever, I was just fucking with him.
It's not a big deal.
Yo Dan, can I cop some?
Will, give it up.
We're not giving you shrooms.
We're not giving you alcohol.
We are not those people for you.
- Why not?
My friends and I drink a handle every fucking weekend.
We get turnt the fuck up.
Oh wow, ya'll must be the coolest kids in school.
Babe, come on, one sip?
That's not gonna do anything, right?
- Thank you, Dan. - It doesn't matter.
His mom would kill me.
You heard her man, she's the boss.
- Come on! - What are we doing for teams?
Jamie, you wanna be with me?
- Umm.
- Yeah, we could do that.
But we could also like,
I don't know, do me and Dan versus you guys?
- Oh yeah, yeah.
- Only because we're just so good together,
it would be unfair, so...
Okay.
Dan, is that cool with you?
You and Jamie?
- Yeah, that's cool. The big boys.
- Yeah.
- It's like a place to put your ass when you're tired.
- Oh, bed.
- No, it's like a couch, but it's outside.
- Oh, uh, ugh'.
Trash.
- No, eyes on me, no, no'. - Futon, day bed, wheelchair.
- Close.
Take out the wheels.
- Chair. - No!
- Time'.
It was a bench, Allie.
- What?
- I can't see, so I'm gonna grab a-
- Night goggles? - But it's one thing.
- A light, a flashlight'.
- Whoo!
It's a big opening that you travel through.
- A portal.
- Yeah, but you would drive a vehicle through it.
- Like a tunnel. - Tunnel!
- Oh my God'.
- Okay. Uh. Um.
- Uh, what?
- It's on your head.
- Horns, hair. - Uh, oh.
Wait uh , I don't know what to say--
- Just say the thing, please!
- At the end of a cat it's a?
- Tail. - Yeah, okay.
What do dreidels do?
- Spin? - Yeah.
- A tailspin?
- Yes, yes, yes.
- When you come out of the bath,
the state of your body?
- Clean?
- Not only is it clean, hopefully.
- You're wet. - Yeah.
Damn, you're good.
Creaky bones.
- Arthritis? - Yeah, what?
What? - You're cheating'.
- Bullshit.
- They're hating bro.
I think I might eat these marshmallows right out the bag'.
- You gotta give me one'. - Want one, bro?
Yes, I do!
There you go.
Oh!
- Hey, all yours bud.
Thanks.
- Good night, guys!
Oh shit.'
- Sorry about that.
Didn't mean to scare you.
It's fine.
- Good night. - Good night.
- Dan, thanks for letting me cook with you today.
That was really fun.
Of course, man, you're a pro.
- Thanks.
And you know, if you're ever down to cook some other stuff,
we should totally do that.
Hell yeah man, that sounds good.
We'll try something in the morning.
Yeah, cool.
I saw you guys got some, uh...
...some bacon, some sausage, eggs
and yogurt, crackers, all the good stuff.
But if we're gonna make the eggs, we need milk.
Did you bring milk?
Uh, I don't know, I don't think so.
All good.
We can improvise.
Sounds good.
- Um.
- Well...
- Good night. - Good night.
Good night.
Alright.
It's 11.
Let's head out.
- What?
Let's go.
Those girls are waiting for us.
- Will, are we really, like, still doing this?
- Yes. - I'm so tired.
- Then wake up.
Let's go.
- I am not ready for this, I don't--
- Dog, look, look at me.
Don't worry, you're fine, alright?
You're ready. You're just nervous.
It's gonna be fun.
You know I'm trying to help you right now, right?
You're 14.
You need to get some ass, Jamie.
- It's just, like, this way doesn't feel right.
- Are you gay?
- Will, I'm not...
- No, seriously, are you gay?
- Will, I'm not gay, okay?
- No, no, it's fine if you are.
Just tell me so I know not to sleep
in the same tent as you.
Will, what are you doing?
- Shh, it's fine.
No Will, put that back.
Shut the fuck up.
They're gonna be so mad, dude.
Look, they won't even notice.
Put it back, put it back, put it back, Will,
put it back.
Fuck'.
You did not go to Cabo with Post Malone.
I did.
My dad's friend knows him, so he hooked us up.
We smoked a fat blunt together too.
- Okay, you're such a liar.
- I swear to God.
- I was pretty disappointed when the English dub came out.
Usually the animation studio does really good English dubs.
But this one basically made no sense.
Thank God I read the manga
or I'd have no idea what was actually going on.
- So do you always watch the anime with the dub or?
- Not necessarily.
If I really like a series,
I'll watch it once with the dub and once with the sub.
Like in "Psycho Hunt" there's this one character
who's like a really good detective.
In the sub, he says, "Let's set a mouse trap."
But in the dubbed version, he says,
"I'd like to give this mouse some of my cheese."
Question mark?
Thank you.
- Thanks, Will.
Oh, uh, thanks, Erika.
I've already had enough.
I really shouldn't.
- Okay.
- Are you, like, cold?
- A little.
- Is that better?
Yeah.
Anyway, sorry, keep talking.
- Yeah, so, uh...
Oh, you have an eyelash, wait.
- Ow! - Oh, oh, sorry, Erika.
Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
- Okay.
So should I like make a wish or something?
- I don't know.
Do you wanna make a wish?
Sure.
- Go for it.
What'd you wish for?
- I can't tell you.
That would make it not come true.
- Yeah.
Okay.
Did it come true?
Sort of.
- Well, I'm not like a mind reader, so...
that was my best guess.
- You're close.
- Hold on one second, Erika.
The alcohol is making me a little dizzy.
I'll be back.
I've always wanted a tattoo.
- You would look really good with a tramp stamp.
What?
Jamie'.
Are you drunk?
- Uh, I...
I think so.
- Oh my God. - I'm a little drunk.
- I have never seen him like this.
I mean, I've seen some shit
'cause me and my friends drink a handle every weekend.
But we have never been this fucked up.
- Will, come here for a second.
- How much did you drink?
- Way too much, man.
I think I need to go back.
I think I'm gonna puke.
- Just puke here.
- No, no. - Literally right here.
No, you don't understand, Will.
Will, I need to be next to the car.
- This is the Jamie divot. - It's not a joking matter, Will'.
I need to go back to the car
so Allie can take me to the hospital if need be.
- Dog, what are you doing?
You're doing great.
Don't fuck it up now.
Okay?
Come on, get up.
Uppies, uppies, this way.
- Oh, Jesus.
- Okay, yeah.
He's all good.
He just needed a second.
Okay.
Yo, Quinn.
I saw some cool-looking shit, like right over there,
if you wanna check it out.
- I mean, you're good, right?
Yeah.
- Sure. - Alright.
Yo'.
Don't let him leave.
He's just nervous 'cause he likes you.
Toodle-loo.
You're so obvious.
Nah, nah, nah.
- So...
Did you still wanna guess what I wished for?
- I don't know, I'm so drunk,
I can't even remember my own name right now.
- Okay.
Are you mad you're not with Quinn?
- What?
- It's fine if you are.
I know how pretty she is.
- No, no, no, I'm happy I'm with you.
- Okay.
It just didn't seem like it, so I wanted to ask.
- I'm so sorry that I'm coming off the way that I am.
I think you are a very kind and funny and beautiful woman.
And you know, if I weren't so drunk right now,
I'd totally want to do anything you wanted, like, to do together.
And it's my fault that I'm so drunk, not yours, mine.
And so, I'm sorry.
- Okay.
- Does that make sense?
- Yeah.
Thanks for saying that.
- Yeah, of course.
- Maybe next time you shouldn't drink so much.
- Yeah.
It's kind of becoming a problem.
Hello?
Jamie?
- Hey, Dan.
I was just coming back from the bathroom
and I'm going right back to my tent.
I'm just, like, passing by.
- What's that in your pocket?
What?
- Come here.
- Please don't tell Allie.
- Come on bro, I'm not gonna tell her.
- Okay.
And I didn't drink any by the way.
- How come?
- Well, I felt bad doing it without your permission, so.
- Bro, come on.
You got my permission, but only if you want to.
- Sure.
- Easy, easy.
Baby sips.
Where's Will?
He's not with you?
- He's with a girl from another campsite, I think.
- I see.
That guy gives you a lot of shit, huh?
- Yeah, I mean, he's just, like, fucking around, so it's okay.
- Yeah.
Hey, look man, I know I just met you and everything, but
I get it.
I got two older brothers and they were vicious, man.
I mean, they were really mean.
They used to kick my ass and call me fat.
Fart on me in my sleep.
- Will did that once.
- I bet he did.
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is
sometimes you gotta dish it back,
otherwise they'll walk all over you.
Just a little advice from one little brother to another.
- Yeah.
Dan?
- Yeah, babe?
- Who are you talking to?
No one.
You must be dreaming.
See you in the morning, bud.
- Oh sorry, I didn't know you were in here.
- You wanna come in?
- Oh, sorry, I didn't know you were in here.
- You wanna come in?
- Get in here, bud.
- Oh, that feels so good.
- Yeah, you needed this.
You seem stressed.
- Do I?
- It's cool.
I'm stressed too.
- What are you stressed about?
- Me and Allie, we've been fighting a lot recently.
I'm probably gonna break up with her when we get back home.
- Oh.
I'm so sorry to hear that.
- Oh no, it's all good.
I've got you now.
Are you awake?
- Hmm, what? - Jamie!
- Yeah, what's up?
- Did you guys hook up?
- What?
- Did you guys hook up?
- Oh yeah, we did.
Yes'.
Yo'.
Let's go.
- Shh, you're gonna wake up everyone.
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm just pumped for you, bruh.
So, shit.
Was it dope?
- Yeah, it was cool.
- Nice.
- Yeah, mine was too.
She's a freak.
- Nice.
- Yeah.
Whoo.
Fucking love that shit.
I'm a little tired.
I think I'm gonna go to bed.
- Alright, man, yeah.
You get your well-needed sleep after a big night like that.
You deserve it.
- Thanks.
Good night.
Good night.
Big man.
- Breakfast is ready.
- Pop-Tarts.
Sweet.
Thanks.
- How'd you sleep?
- I slept okay.
How about you?
- Eh.
Not great.
Oh.
- What does your shirt say?
- Oh yeah.
- uh leash, uh keys.
Cute, I love her.
- Oh yeah, we do too.
- Like, you love her or, like, Dan loves her?
- Dan loves Alicia Keys.
- Are you serious about that?
- Yeah no, we met at one of her concerts.
Hey, I was looking in the cooler earlier
and we're missing a hot dog from that new pack.
Did one of you boys eat a raw hot dog last night?
- Not that I remember.
- Did I?
- Yeah, it was probably you.
I mean, you were so drunk last night,
I wouldn't be surprised.
- Oh God.
Morning.
Hey, morning.
There he is.
Morning, Dan.
Hey, morning, morning.
How you holding up?
- Hey, Dan.
- Hey, what's up bud?
- Sorry to bug you, but I drew this picture of you
and thought you might wanna see it.
- Oh yeah?
Oh wow.
That's me.
Oh yeah, that's something there, man.
You're really talented.
Oh look, you got the Alicia Keys quote on there.
- Yeah.
Allie told me you are a big fan,
so I had to throw it in there, like, of course.
- She's the greatest.
- Oh yeah, she's the best.
My mom used to play her for me all the time
when I was younger. I practically grew up on her.
- You ever been to one of her concerts?
- No, but I'd love to.
- Oh yeah, man, it's a great time.
- I've heard great things, so.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And she's still hot. To be 42?
- Yeah, yes she is.
Yeah, so I dunno, thought I'd show you.
- Oh yeah, thanks bud.
- Yeah.
- Catch you later.
Yeah.
Hey, Jamie, come here'.
- What?
Just come here real quick.
- You're just scared I'm gonna be right.
- Okay, word.
See what happens.
- Come here. - We shall.
- We shall, we shall what? - Come on.
- Bustle over here, bud.
- Come here.
- Dude. - Take a seat.
Dan thinks you're better than me at arm wrestling.
So come here.
- You gotta show him who's boss, bud.
- No.
Guys.
- Come on, I wanna see you lose.
Come here.
- Dude, it's fine.
We can arm wrestle some other time.
- Dog, just sit on the bench.
Come.
Thank you. - Okay.
- Okay.
- Stubborn as fuck.
- Here we go, you ready?
You're good.
Come on, you got it.
Eye of the tiger.
Call it off.
One, two, three, go.
- Ooh.
Ah.
Here we go.
Yeah, here we go.
- Yeah. - Show me something.
Show me something.
Just get him, dude.
Ooh, wow.
- Yep.
What'd I say?
I was right.
- Yeah. Well, actually, that was just my personal warm-up,
so, let's go again.
- He wants to go again.
- I wanna go again, I wasn't ready.
I wasn't prepared at all.
- He wants to lose twice.
- I mean, you didn't wanna go again, but he does.
- Yeah. - He just wants to lose again.
That's chill. - Come on.
Here we go.
Oh God, I'm nervous now.
You ready? - Yep.
Let me get a better position. - Let's go, let's go, come on.
- Ready? - Yep.
- Count it off. - One, two, three, go.
Oh, he's strong.
Just get him, dude.
- No, no, no, he's lasting longer than you.
- No, you're going easy on him.
You're fucking going easy on him.
Just fucking pin him.
- I'm going down.
You're going easy on him.
Just fucking pin him to the ground.
Dog'.
Oh!
- What? - You're a beast, baby!
No, that didn't fucking count.
It was rigged.
- Great job.
- That was great. - That was great.
- That was not, that didn't count.
Dan just let you win, alright?
- I actually think it did count.
It was a fair and square fight.
- It was fair. - No, I don't think it was.
Dan did shot put in college
and you have never lifted a weight in your life.
- Okay, what does that have to do with this?
- Strength?
What the fuck do you mean?
Ok, maybe it doesn't mean I'm stronger than Dan,
but maybe it just means that I'm stronger than you.
- Ooh!
No, it doesn't mean-
You know that's not fucking true.
You're full of shit. - What?
Just like you were full of shit last night, right?
What?
- What do you... what?
- What?
I ran into Erika this morning.
Guess what she said.
She said you guys never hooked up.
- Will, stop, you're talking out of your ass.
- Look, Dan,
he had the perfect opportunity
to get with a girl last night. - Stop.
To finally hook up with someone
and he just bitched out.
- I did not bitch out.
And now he'll probably never get with a girl.
- Will, let me finish, I didn't bitch out.
We hooked up like- - Uh-huh, yeah, sure.
- Why're you lying to me?
Now you're lying to Dan?
- I'm not lying to you at all.
- Yeah, yeah, you are.
Why are you wearing your hat like that?
- Like what? I wear my hat backwards sometimes. So what?
- Are you sure it's not because you wanna copy Dan?
- Shut up.
- Hey, easy, easy.
- Seriously?
- What? Okay, okay. - You fucking kidding me?
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
- Stop, stop. - Hey, hey, hey'.
- Ow, Will'.
- You're fine'.
- Both of you just chill out, alright?
- Hey, I'm good.
He's the one that fucking attacked me.
- Chill out.
- I was doing exactly what you said
and I was sticking up for myself.
- Yeah, well, bro, I didn't mean to hit him.
- Well, I didn't know that.
And now I probably have a concussion, so.
- Let me see, man.
You're fine, alright?
- How do you know that, Dan?
I could have brain damage.
I might as well go to a hospital right now.
Come on man, don't be a baby.
I'm not a baby!
Hey, are you okay?
Does it look like I'm okay?
Oh God.
- Dan told me what happened.
- You know it's all his fault, right?
- I don't really think that's fair, Jamie.
- You don't think it's fair?
Well aren't you the one who brought him on this trip?
The trip that was supposed to be us time and is now ruined?
- Okay, can you put the rocks down for a second
and talk to me?
What were you guys fighting about?
- It's stupid.
- I don't care if it's stupid.
- Will said I couldn't get with a girl.
- Do you even want that?
- Yes.
- Okay, so then don't listen to him.
You're only 14.
I wasn't hooking up with people at 14.
I waited until college.
Okay?
You're an amazing person.
You are a catch.
The right girl is gonna see that at the right time.
- Yeah, thanks.
- Okay.
I'm just gonna give you a minute.
Babe, do you want some water?
No, I'm good.
- Oh, I forgot you're a man.
You don't drink water.
Guys, can we take a break?
What?
- I said, can we take a break?
Another?
- Yeah. Just like two minutes.
It's like so hot.
Okay.
So how we feeling?
This trail goes back to camp.
Do we wanna just call it?
Yeah, I'm down.
- Wait, hold up. - That's it?
I thought you guys wanted to explore more.
Well, it's getting late.
I want get back and make dinner before dark.
- Hey, bud, you wanna call it a day or you wanna go with me?
- I'd be down to keep going.
- Really?
- Yeah, actually, um, I just needed that little break.
And I am ready to go.
Hey, that's the spirit'.
Babe, look we came all the way out here,
we might as well check this place out, right?
- Yeah.
- I'd really rather not.
- Well, you know, Allie, you don't have to come.
- Excuse me?
- Babe. Look, look, this trail here,
it leads right back to the parking lot anyway, right?
- Yeah. But I've been that way before.
You're not gonna get back for at least three hours.
- Okay. We'll get back a little late.
You guys can eat dinner without us.
- Yeah, don't worry about me.
I had a late lunch.
- Okay. I am responsible for him.
You can't just take him wherever you want.
- I'm not taking him wherever I want.
I'm taking him up another path
that leads back to the exact same place.
Why are you trippin'?
Yeah, Allie. Don't trip.
- Alright, fine, whatever. - Ok, cool.
- Wait, Allie, Allie.
- What?
- Would you do me a favor
and bring these back to my tent for me?
Thanks.
Wait up.
Damn, look at all those rocks.
- Yeah.
- Looks like they've been shaping for a long time.
Huge, big boulders.
Wow, dude, you seeing this?
- Oh wow.
- Oh my goodness.
- Wow. - Oh my.
This is amazing.
I'm so happy you wanted to keep exploring.
This is, like, beautiful.
- I know, man.
This is dope.
- Yeah.
- You know what? - What?
It kind of looks like "Lord of the Rings" a little bit, right?
- Yeah, it does.
It looks exact... oh my, it does.
You're so right about that.
I love those movies.
- Yeah, yeah? - Yeah.
- Me too, I love them.
- Oh, nice.
- And if I had to, man,
I'd go gay for Viggo Mortensen, for sure.
For sure.
- Alright, bud.
Let's head back.
- One second.
Do you mind if we take a picture before we leave
so we can just get the background in?
- Oh, yeah, yeah that's cool.
- Cool.
Alrighty.
Okay.
- Alrighty.
- Alright. - Let's head out.
- Okay.
- Am I a fan of "Master Chef Jr." as a show?
Yeah, sure.
Actually I think it's pretty entertaining.
But it boils down to this stupid beauty pageant.
'cause none of those kids can even cook, you know?
- Well, why don't you make your own show, bud,
like on YouTube or something?
You'd make a great host.
- Thank you.
It's funny you say that
because I've actually always wanted
to host a cooking competition.
I've been putting a lot of thought into it recently.
Have a big open set--
- Wait, hold on one sec, bud.
- What?
- Is this the way we came in?
- Yeah, I think so.
We just have to keep going downhill.
- Yeah, but this doesn't look familiar.
Might have taken the wrong turn when we left the lookout.
Damn it.
Let's go back, man.
- Yeah. Okay, let's go back.
- Yeah.
This shit is like brand new.
I have no idea where we are, man.
I think if we keep going down to the path,
we'll get back to the lookout.
- Yeah, the lookout.
Where's the lookout? Do you see the lookout?
- Well, no, I don't see it right now,
but if we keep going down the trail, we can get there.
- I can't even tell if we're retracing our steps or not.
Oh shit.
Oh fuck, of course, I don't have any service.
Do you have any service?
- No.
But I remember something, Dan.
At the lookout, there was a big fallen tree.
And if we can find that tree, we can find the lookout again.
Dan, did you see a-
- Hey, can you just stop talking for like 10 seconds
so I can try and figure this out?
Alright?
- Yeah. Sorry.
- Yeah, yeah.
Fuck.
I don't know how we're gonna get outta here, man.
I don't know where we are.
It's gonna be dark soon and it's gonna get cold.
Fucking bugs. - Dan?
- Allie is gonna be on my ass, bro.
- Dan, I think you're dehydrated.
- What?
- Like, you need to drink some water or have a snack.
- No, no, I'm not hungry right now.
I'm trying to get out of here.
- Okay, well, what did you eat today?
- I don't, I don't know.
I think I had a Pop-Tart or something like that.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
That is not enough, Dan.
Here.
- What are you doing?
- Take this.
- No.
- I'm serious, Dan, take this.
- I don't, no, I don't want it.
- I want you to eat this.
- No, no. - Dan, take it.
- Dude, if you don't get that shit away from me, bro.
Look, I don't want a fucking grano-
- Hey man, thanks.
- Yeah, yeah, no problem.
- Good call.
You want some?
- No, there isn't much left in there.
You got it.
- You sure?
- Yeah. Finish it.
- Hey, did you see a stream?
- No, why?
- Well, streams run downhill
and if we can get downhill,
we can probably find our way back to the campsite.
- So is this like your first relationship or?
- Oh no, man.
This is, like, my fourth long-term relationship
or something like that. - Thanks.
- So, like, you guys plan on getting married, right?
I don't know, bud.
I think we're a long way from that convo.
- Mmhmm.
You got a girlfriend?
- Oh, not, not at this exact moment, but...
- Oh yeah?
Is there a girl you like or?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, kind of.
- Does she know you like her?
- Oh, probably not.
No, no, I don't think so.
- You gotta tell her, man.
- Uh...
- For real, you gotta tell her.
Look, I had a crush on this girl back in high school
and we were friends too, but she was so cool
I didn't think I had a shot,
so I kept my mouth shut for four years.
Fast forward...
We graduated from college and we ran into each other.
You know what she said?
That she liked me that whole time.
And even though that was all those years ago
to be honest, man, it still fucks with me to this day.
So...
Yeah, man.
Learn from my mistake and just tell her.
You have no idea what you could be missing out on.
- Yeah.
- Oh, shit.
Yo Jamie, I think that's a stream, man.
- Really?
- Yeah, yeah, come on.
Oh, thank God, man.
- Ow'. - Oh shit.
- Oh ow'.
- Wait, hold on. - Oh fuck.
Dude. - Uh, here, lemme help you up.
- Oh'.
- Come on, come on, come on.
I got you, I got you.
- Go slow.
- I got you, I got you.
Easy.
Okay.
- I'm such a fucking idiot.
- No, no, no, no, no.
It's okay, bud, it's good.
Don't do that, don't do that.
Damn.
Here.
Okay, here we go.
There you go.
Easy, easy.
- Okay.
- I'm sorry, is that too tight?
- Oh no, it's good.
- Okay.
Cool.
Alright.
You okay?
- Mmhm.
Okay.
- I'm sorry.
I didn't mean for that.
I don't know why that happened.
- It's cool.
Can you walk?
- Hmm, yep, I can.
- Okay, um, then let's go.
- Fuck.
Oh shit.
I can't believe you got lost.
You're such a fucking idiot.
Hello?
- Hello. What?
- Are you, like, okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
Are you okay, Will?
- Yeah, I'm chilling.
Why?
- Oh.
- Here, don't you need this?
- Thanks.
- Hey, Allie.
Yeah?
- Just wanted to, like, apologize for the way I acted earlier.
It was super rude and unacceptable, so I'm sorry.
- It's fine.
- Are you mad at me?
- No, I'm not mad.
- Can I come in?
- Yeah.
What's up?
- I only acted the way I did
because I wanted to, like, impress Dan.
And I never meant to hurt your feelings in any way
because between you and me, you're my favorite cousin,
and hurting your feelings is the last thing I would want.
So, I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
Why do you feel like you need to impress Dan so much?
- I don't know. Just kinda want him to like me.
- He likes you.
- Yeah.
Thanks.
I made you something that I thought you might like.
- Really?
- What?
It's beautiful.
- You're such an asshole.
Are you good?
- Yeah.
I'm okay.
- Hey.
- Yo.
- I'm going back to the lake one more time
if you want to come.
You guys sure you don't want us to stick around?
Nah, yeah we're fine.
Mom won't be back for another two hours.
You need help bringing anything inside?
Nah, we got it.
Thank you though.
Well, hey, it was good to meet you boys.
- It was good to meet you too, man.
- Good to meet you.
- Maybe next time we're in California,
we can go to a basketball game or something.
- Yeah, I'm game.
As long as it's not the Mavs.
- Always a pleasure.
- Yeah. Thank you guys.
This was more fun than I thought it'd be.
- Good.
- Also, let me know if your boy is down to send the shrooms,
because honestly, I'm trying to meet my ancestors,
so just send him my way, alright?
- You got it. - Peace!
- Hey. - Hey.
- I'll see you at Thanksgiving, okay?
- Okay. Have a safe trip.
- Thanks. - Love you.
- Love you.
- Hey, Allie, would you mind if I talk to Dan for a second?
- Oh yeah, sure.
So you need me to...?
- Yeah, that would be great.
- Okay.
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
- Hey, what's up, bud?
- I just wanted to talk to you a little bit
about what went down in the forest earlier.
- Oh. Uh.
Oh man. Look, don't worry about that.
When I was your age,
that happened to me all the time for no reason.
So yeah, don't even sweat it.
Really.
- Yeah. Um.
It's just I-
Um, it's just like maybe-
I think it did happen for a reason.
- Oh.
Oh, okay.
Uh...
Well hey, that's, that's cool too.
- Really? You're not, like, mad at me?
- Why would I be mad?
I mean, I think I'm a little too old for you, man.
- Yeah, yeah, I know. It's just, um...
I think you're really handsome.
- Thank you. I'm flattered.
Really.
- Yeah. Um.
I really appreciate you talking to me about this.
- I think it's pretty cool that you did.
It's, it's not an easy thing to do.
- No.
Yeah, um.
Okay, I'll catch you.
- Yeah, I'll see you, bud.
- Okay.
- You all good?
- Yes.
I'll see you at Thanksgiving, right?
- You bet. - I'll text you.
- Okay.
Bye.
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