Original subtitles

Long ago, there was a wise and just pharaoh who was honored by his people.

Everyone loved and respected him, except for his most trusted advisor.

The advisor made the Pharaoh to be vain and selfish.

And turned his subjects against him.

The people rose up and overthrew the Pharaoh.

Destroying his work and locking him away to rest eternally.

But the Pharaoh didn't rest.

He became furious over his betrayal.

No one was brave enough to go near the pyramid, but the Pharaoh's wife heard

screams and created a talisman to aid his eternal slumber.

Finally, he was at rest, and a terrible curse would be cast on any man foolish

enough to wake him.

Foolish? Ha!

More like daring and reckless, but can our hero escape the mummy's wrath?

He leaps the chasm!

There you are.

Again, Danny?

Sorry, Mom. I was sleeping in a chasm.

Could you come outside? We're almost ready to go.

Can I come with you, please?

I won't break anything this time, I swear.

Sorry, honey, but you're staying out here with your sister.

Where is your sister, anyway?

Can you hear me now?

How about now?

Can you hear me?

Eleanor, what are you doing?

Is it too... much to ask for you and dad to work at a place that has wi -fi

paris london maybe no we had to come to the middle if

you ever write a four -page proposal on the archaeological merits of a trip to

paris i'll consider it come on mom let me come

you might need backup what if there's a terrible curse cast upon you want to

know what a real life curse is spending all day with Dork munch. Back off, this

phone freak.

Don't mess with me, kid.

I'm on edge. I haven't tweeted, tumbled, or vined anything for the past three

days.

Look, I got the thumb shakes.

Bring it over here, Peter.

Oh, hey, Eleanor.

Nice phone. I think I have the exact same model.

And I should care because... Okay, hon, we're all packed up and ready to go.

Dad! Can I come into the pyramid with you, please?

Sorry, son.

You're just a bit too young to go tramping into a pharaoh's tomb.

You never said anything about a pharaoh.

Oh, man, now you've got to let me help.

Help?

Like in the Malaysian temple when you flooded that ancient library?

I'm 12.

If I'm in a temple and I see a lever, I'm going to pull it.

Danny, you're staying out here.

Peter, come with me. I have a few more things you'll need to carry.

Oh, I can help.

Eleanor, please watch your brother and make sure he doesn't get into any

trouble. Whatever.

Kids. All set.

Wait.

You forgot your good excavation shovel.

My turkey on rye.

Oops.

We'll be back soon. Try not to damage any more sandwiches.

Wi -Fi? World Wide Web?

Oh, come on!

If they won't let me help, I'll just go

on an adventure of my own.

Our swashbuckling explorer has just stumbled on to the find of a lifetime.

Oh, cool!

He delves deeper in the force to survive the pyramid's dangerous traps and prove

himself the bravest hero of all.

Whoa, sweet.

What is this

place?

I better get out of here.

Where'd our stuff go?

You had one job, Eleanor.

Guess I came out the back door.

I told you. He was right here.

He wandered off.

This is exactly what I'm talking about. You were sucked into your cell phone

world and you didn't pay any attention to your little brother.

And that's why I'll be holding on to it for the foreseeable future.

You can't do that. That's cruel and unusable punishment.

Access to technology is a human right.

There you are, you little... Danny, where were you?

What's up, Mom?

Just went for a little walk around the pyramid, which is no big deal because

totally mature and can take care of myself.

Hey, Mr. Hudson, everything is packed up and ready to go.

Great. Everybody, into the trailer.

Let's go home.

Wonder what this is for.

Let's out, Danny.

Oh, man.

I finally find something cool when I break it.

Danny?

Oh, Danny, it smells like a crypt in here.

Good night, Danny.

Mm -hmm.

You caved with the cell phone?

She said she'd never talk to us again.

She doesn't talk to us now.

She used the puppy dog eyes.

Sometimes I wonder if we're too strict.

We got a couple of good kids.

That's weird. What is that?

That was bizarre.

Probably Eleanor charging all of her devices at once.

I'll look at it in the morning.

There it is.

Morning. Yeah, it's great.

Where's Mom and Dad?

Don't know.

What's for breakfast?

Just coffee.

What, just coffee?

Doesn't sound interesting enough for 140 characters.

It's a free trade, at least.

Um... Was that Mom?

Whatever this is, I'm not falling for it.

Mom? Dad?

Are you okay? I'm fine. We're fine.

Everything is perfectly fine.

Seriously, what is going on? Look!

If this kind of lame attempt to sell me on a group Halloween costume, I told

you, I'm going as a zombie cheerleader.

What happened?

We appear to have been mummified.

At this time, more research is required before I can make an educated

assessment. Whoa.

More like, whoa with me. This is worse than the time you guys dressed like a

Neanderthal cave couple for Halloween.

This is crazy.

Don't worry, Danny. We'll figure this out.

Ugh.

Oh, okay.

Well, that's a new development.

Now what? I said I...

Oh,

yeah,

that'll hold.

I've looked through every single book on ancient Egypt. There's nothing about

this kind of thing.

Most of our books are scientific journals. We don't have anything related

science fiction.

Why are you pointing at me?

Look in the mirror.

Uh, hello?

Mr. and Mrs. H?

It's Peter.

What do we do?

We can't let him find out about this.

Maybe if we just stay real quiet, he'll go away?

I can hear you breathing in there. Are you in respiratory distress?

Stalker!

I'll get rid of him.

Hide!

Hi, Peter. This isn't really a good... Hello, Danny. Are your parents currently

within?

Within what?

Could you come back later?

But we have an appointment to discuss secondary authorship.

Well, they're busy.

Mr. Hudson?

Mrs. Hudson?

Sorry, Mr. Icky McWeirdo. They're not here.

But my secondary authorship... Could you come back later? We have an appointment

to discuss secondary authorship. At the museum,

okay? But we were supposed to meet here.

Well, that's just the way the catacomb crumbles.

See you later.

Well, that was a close one.

My search engine is not cooperating.

What are you searching for?

What to do when your parents have suddenly turned into mummies, and it's,

totally embarrassing.

But did anything come up?

Just a bunch of lame B -movies about Egyptian curses and stuff.

Wait a minute.

What if that's it?

What if Mom and Dad are cursed? They did go into a pharaoh's tomb, after all.

Danny, the curse of the pharaoh's tomb is complete nonsense.

Your mother is right. I'm sure there is a perfectly logical explanation for this

phenomenon.

Oh, no.

What is it, Danny?

I, uh, not a huge deal, actually. Kind of funny.

But I think I might have accidentally cursed you guys for eternity.

What? What?

Of course you did.

Well, you see, there was a sarcophagus in the pyramid, and it had this thing on

it, and it seemed totally harmless when I took it.

Are you telling me you went into the pyramid?

After we specifically told you not to?

And you stole an artifact from said pyramid?

Well, what are you waiting for? Use it to reverse the curve.

I can't. I think it's broken.

Eleanor, watch your brother. For real this time.

Where are you going?

To our office at the museum. Maybe the answer is in our field notes from the

expedition. But you're going to need our help.

I think we've had enough of your help, Danny.

So this is all your fault?

Danny! Eleanor!

We need a hand.

Actually, both hands.

You know what? Maybe I should drive.

International concern abounds over the latest in a string of archaeological

relic thefts from around the world, this time from Egypt.

Eleanor, wait! Turn it back!

Sorry, this is my jam.

What is it, Danny?

According to this, we can do some kind of ritual to reverse the curse. I do not

want to hear that word. There is no curse.

Your mother's right.

You kids sit tight. Do not leave the van.

We'll handle it.

Do you ever get tired of ruining everything?

It was an accident.

What's the deal with this ritual?

You think it could work?

Hey, it's always good to have a backup plan.

What do we need?

A bunch of weird plants and stuff. I think we can get them at a grocery

And a canopic jar.

Mom and Dad have one at the museum.

They hold human organs and stuff.

Um, yuck.

Hey, what's that?

That's not an ingredient.

It's a deadline!

Huh? The cursed ones will decay.

Oh, great! More limbs falling off!

Body and mind until the following sundown.

We gotta go save their butts before they go full -on mummy!

Hot tip. If you want people to think you're mature, stop saying butt.

I think we better take care of this now before things get out of hand.

I see what you did there.

Hey, kiddos.

What time you ever play cool?

Hey, Peter, what's up?

Carbon dioxide levels.

Apparently, they're rising exponentially according to recent scientific reports.

Okay, then. Not waiting.

Whatever.

What are you doing here?

Just looking for your parents.

They're a little wrapped up at the moment.

But you said they'd be here in their office.

No. I mean, don't waste your time because they're not here.

They just left.

Oh. Well, where are they?

They just went home.

They just asked us to come grab their good shovel.

Their good shovel? I know. I bet it.

this way.

What was that?

Uh -oh.

Mom! Dad!

Need a hand?

Danny! Help!

Dad?

Hello?

Looks like he's bought full money.

What happened, Mom?

I don't know. I've never seen anything like it. He just fell on me like a sack

of potatoes.

More like mashed potatoes.

Oh, no.

My handsome baby.

Ew, Mom.

That looks gross right now.

Actually,

I was talking about this priceless suit of armor.

Come on, Mom. We've got to get him back to the van.

Search papers in the office.

Don't worry. We found a way to reverse this curse.

I told you, I don't believe in curses.

Hey, if you'd rather stay here and get stuck with the bill for this giant mess,

that's fine with us.

Let's get back to the van.

The jar. We need the Canova jar.

Elmore, can you go get it?

Why me? I don't even know what it looks like.

Can you not be totally selfish for like two seconds?

Fine. You guys get Dad into the van.

no pick jar for, Danny.

For the ritual to break the curse.

For the last time, there is no curse.

Oh, me, selfish.

Hello? I'm the one who drove everyone here.

Hang on.

How am I supposed to know what I'm even looking for?

Wait, I got it.

Come on, come on.

They say you'll rot my brain.

Hey,

you! Come back here!

I think Mom and Dad are completely mummified.

Yeah? Well, I think the security guard is completely angrified.

must be caught.

Look here.

Someone's sure in a hurry to leave the museum.

Well, what a shock.

Someone's tired of looking at old rock.

Yeah, maybe it has something to do with these here thefts the news is buzzing

about. Right.

Like I'd give a rat's patootie about some knuckleheads who stole a bunch of

dusty old clay pots and junkie necklaces.

Big whoop -de -doo.

Well, they're also speeding.

Unacceptable.

Uh, don't you think you're going a little too fast?

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought the idea was to save our parents before the sun goes

down. Because that's the kind of unselfish person I am.

Look, I didn't mean... Eleanor, drive me too fast.

Dad, please. I'm not even over the speed limit.

you were driving?

Why, no, officers.

This car drives so smooth, I can hardly feel the road.

Nice try there, little missy. You knew exactly what you were doing.

Don't deny it. We saw the whole thing.

What do you think we are, stupid?

Of course you're not stupid.

I just don't know what you're talking about.

We're talking about speeding.

Speeding!

Right, boy, speeding.

Miss, is that a... phone in your hand.

Dangerous.

Right again, boy.

Were you committing an 1199 violation as well? What's that?

Driving while too cute?

Driving while hesitant.

What? Absolutely not, Your Honor.

Your Honor, I'm an officer of the law, not a judge.

She looked like a judge to you. Give me that phone.

But, but, but.

Stop saying but. You sound guilty.

That's not helping.

Easy, kid. You'll flood the engine.

Now, we'll let you off with a warning, and you can pick up your phone tomorrow

at the station.

Tomorrow? You can't expect me to spend an entire day engaged in the real world.

Oh, sorry, kid.

Say, now, you hear about the International Antiquity Theft?

Oh, now, who are those two?

Mom.

She's your mommy?

Mommy! She's our mommy. And that's our other mommy. Two mummies. Halloween

decorations are a big deal at our house. Anyway, bye!

Coffee? How do you always know what I'm thinking?

I'm clairvoyant.

No way.

You want a donut.

Officer Barton, you are scaring me.

phones do with their thumbs.

Here, use this so you don't go crazy.

A walkie? But there's no screen.

Where do the cat pictures go?

I'll take this one.

We'll use code names. I'm Cool Cat, you're Warthog.

Warthog, you're calling me Eleanor, or don't call me at all.

Whatever. Once we're inside the grocery store, we'll split up to get the

ingredients. You guys stay here.

Mom, keep an eye on Dad.

That is, if you can keep your eyeballs from falling out of their sockets.

Mission ritual ingredients about to commence.

Come on now, don't leave me hanging.

I'm so over this family.

Attention,

shoppers. Prizes will be awarded for the best Halloween costume and clothes

today.

We caught you, bro.

Bullcat, come in, warthog. The cops are here. The foxes are in the chicken coop.

Repeat, foxes in the chicken coop.

What's that about chicken poop?

Well, I didn't see chicken poop, but I'll be careful where I'm walking.

I thought

I told you to stay in the van.

You completely disobeyed my orders.

She's sure worse than me.

Give me that.

So, uh, you're sure this cow was a dude, right? 100 % prime cut grade A man cow.

Thank you, because I can't have... Sweet.

What? Ah! No!

Not my brains! Not my brains!

That guy's costume is amazing.

We have a serious problem.

Dad is inside the store.

Don't eat brain.

Zombies are typically your brain eaters.

Mommy, just try to eat my brains.

Oh, silly. Everyone knows it's zombies that eat the brains.

You can't have the bacon. No, can't have that. Or that. Or that.

Huh? Oh, no.

Now, that's what I call catching a football.

You didn't buy that at the meat counter.

Cocktail, cocktail, please.

Find your happy place.

And break's over.

Saddle up, Bishop.

It's go time.

That went smoothly.

Funny.

Um, thanks for helping me get all this stuff.

I was kind of surprised you didn't just ignore me.

I'm actually surprised myself.

Usually when you talk, your words go straight to the voicemail in my brain.

Whoa. That doesn't seem good.

That's the thing you stole from the tomb?

Let me see it.

Don't mess around. You don't know what it can do.

Oh, no. What did you do?

Smell? What's that sound?

Go, go, go, go, go, go!

Are you seeing what I'm seeing?

The illegally parked van?

No, the other thing.

Yeah, I see it.

We should probably follow up on that, right?

It's exciting.

Believe me.

No wonder you're always off looking for adventures.

No, I was wrong.

Adventure's bad.

Adventure's terrible.

Hey, guys.

Your parents home yet?

Yeah, about that.

Let me get this straight. Your parents have been cursed and turned into

Yes. But there's a ritual to reverse the curse?

Yes. And you have all the ingredients, but you don't know where your parents

are. And we only have until sundown to save them.

We're midsoulsters. We have exactly three hours, ten minutes, and 43

Not sure what that has to do with your midsoul, but we'll take your word for

Let's go back to the supermarket and retrace your steps.

I'm sure they didn't just disappear.

Thanks, Peter.

Come on, guys. We're practically family, right?

overplayed the quality of their Halloween decorations.

Really? What is it with these guys?

It's the cops.

Cops? You didn't say the police were involved.

I'm out of here. I have several overdue library books.

And just when you start to seem normal, it's back to being a nerdling.

Just go. We'll catch up with you.

Peter!

Hello? Miss, now I'm afraid we have a few more questions for you and your

associate. Sorry, officers.

My parents aren't home, and I'm not supposed to talk to strangers in real

Let's have an adventure and go save our parents.

Come on out, kids.

We know you're in here.

Come on, Eleanor. Your 12 -year -old brother just did it. You can do it, too.

I actually didn't die.

If Mom and Dad ever find out we just did that, we're dead.

Who's going to tell them?

for a kid, brother.

We should hang out more. Really? No.

Or the more important question, where is it going?

Hmm.

Let's find out.

Peter?

Peter?

Peter, are you here?

I think I see something.

Oh, no.

Danny, what is it? I think... Peter found Mom and Dad.

And then something found him.

Eleanor, what if we're too late?

Danny, we're not going to stop until we find them.

I'm so sorry for all of the... It doesn't matter what happened or how it

started. What matters is that you and I are going to finish it.

Thank you.

For what?

For being a cool big sister today.

Look, I don't mean to always ignore you, Danny.

I guess I just never really feel like part of the family.

You, Mom, and Dad are all into the same stuff, and it's just easier to be in my

own little world.

Hey, I'm glad my honesty is funny to you. No, it's just, that's how I feel,

I'm just so clumsy compared to you guys.

Maybe that's the thing about family. It doesn't matter whether you think you're

part of it or not.

Yeah, you just are.

Huh.

Could use a flashlight right now.

You had a cell phone this entire time?

I don't really use it that much. I forgot I had it.

Ugh!

Come on!

Holy smokes.

Look, is that Peter?

I got this. I got it. Peter?

Danny! Eleanor!

You're just in time.

You found Mom and Dad. That's awesome.

Yes.

Everything's going exactly according to plan.

Come on, come on. We're running out of time.

Here are the ritual ingredients.

Oh, excellent.

Peter, what are you doing? We need those to turn Mom and Dad back to normal.

Now, why would I want to go and do a thing like that?

After all, your parents are worth a lot more in their current state. They're

basically a living museum exhibit.

If you can call that living.

What are you talking about, Peter?

Oh, aren't you just the cutest?

Protecting your little brother.

Wait, don't you two hate each other?

No.

Of course you do.

You're an annoying brat, and she is an internet addict who doesn't have a

friend she's met in person.

You want to say that again?

Give me one reason I shouldn't kick your butt. What are you going to do,

Eleanor? Send me an angry face emoticon?

Give me the talisman, Danny.

Danny!

Oh, it is quite the exquisite piece.

Give that back. We need to save our parents.

I'll tell you something about your parents, Danny. They think they know

everything. They thought they could... push me around, carry their stuff like a

pack mule.

But they didn't know that everywhere we went, I was secretly retrieving

priceless artifacts to sell to the highest bidder.

Isn't it like a bit gross to profit off of other people's cultural artifact?

Wait, did you know that I would turn my parents into mummies?

Oh, sweet naive Danny.

I know everything.

Plan this whole thing?

Oh, no. I merely adapted to your foolish decisions.

And yet, my plan has not yet come to full fruition. There are just two

irritating strings left to tie up.

Peter, please don't do this.

Do what? What's he doing?

Seriously? You are a really terrible kid detective. I am trying to get rid of

you!

What was that?

No! Danny, what are you doing?

Who did you think you were going to call?

I don't... Rhetorical question, Danny. The other walkie -talkie? Right here.

Danny!

Down here!

It just wanted the talisman.

It's nice to see you too, dear.

You think you can untie us?

What happened to us?

It's a long story.

We got you the stretch call, kid.

Pretty smart, tuning into our frequency.

Well, would you get a look at this place? Who knew we'd find international

antiquity thieves right here in our little town?

Where are we?

Just some lunatic secret treasure cave. By the way, you need an assistant.

Anybody got a chisel?

What is that?

I don't know, but I'm pretty sure he's our friend.

Is he the one that rescued us from the curse?

I thought you didn't believe in curses.

Well, I can make an exception.

You have the right to remain silent.

Anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law.

But, but... Hot tip. If you want to sound innocent, don't say but.

Come on, son. Your days of international antiquity theft are over.

Sorry about earlier, missy. You know, since you helped crack this case and

I can be persuaded to give you your phone back early.

Nah, I'll come get it tomorrow.

Well, so did you, Sal.

You sure you can live without talking to your friends for another day?

Yeah, you guys are cooler than them anyways.

I mean, you did save the day and all.

Atta boy.

I'm sorry we didn't trust you.

It's hard to remember that you were growing up. And we just want to keep you

safe. Nah, Mom, you were right.

I shouldn't have gone into the pyramid.

I never want to go on an adventure like that again.

I don't know.

I think someone just earned his very first shovel.

Oh.

And I think somebody else earned a trip home.

Thanks

for

everything. Have a nice eternity.

Where to next?

Paris? London? Oh, how about Milan?

Uh, I'm thinking maybe Machu Picchu, or maybe Mount Everest? You know,

somewhere with a little danger.

Or maybe I'll just stay at home.

Not by yourself, you won't. Yeah, Danny.

If I have to go, then you definitely have to go.

Besides, with Peter arrested...

Someone's gonna have to carry all our stuff.

Hey!