Original subtitles

(bird calling)

(birds chirping)

(intense theatrical music)

(soft droning music)

(letters clinking)

♪ Oh, I just don't know where to begin ♪

♪ Though he says he'll wait forever ♪

♪ It's now or never ♪

♪ But she keeps him hanging on ♪

♪ The silly champion ♪

♪ She says she can't go home ♪

♪ Without a chaperone ♪

♪ Accidents will happen ♪

♪ We only hit and run ♪

♪ Used to be a victim ♪

♪ Now you're not the only one ♪

♪ Accidents will happen ♪

♪ We only hit and run ♪

♪ I don't want to hear it ♪

- What are you lookin' at? - Shut the fuck up!

- [Man] Shut up?!

(dog barks)

Allow it, man, you almost started a fight.

(laughing)

- [Man] Tyson, stop it!

♪ That only rise up in the sweat and smoke like mercury ♪

♪ But they keep you hangin' on ♪

Tyson!

♪ They say you're so young ♪

♪ Your mind is made up ♪

♪ But your mouth is undone ♪

- Louis!

(shouting) (brakes screeching)

♪ He used to be your victim ♪

(screaming) (breath trembling)

(pasta splashing)

- Your, first one, was it?

Always a choker, the first time out.

What did they give you?

Let's have a look, sick leave, post-traumatic stress.

Seven days only?!

- Did you saw the trauma team?

- Asked if I wanted counselling or someone in the cab.

- Good, 'cause I hear one of them counsellors is hot.

You should ask for her, man.

- First one always stays with you, never forget it.

Second one, maybe you remember, maybe you don't.

(grunts)

But the third one...

- The third one, what?

- What?

D'you fancy you come for a pint?

To take your mind off things.

- Nah.

It wouldn't seem right, thanks.

- Oof!

You know what, bruv?

You wanna get out more.

(funky punk rock music)

♪ Somebody help me, yeah ♪

♪ Somebody help me now ♪

♪ Won't somebody tell me ♪

(train whizzing)

♪ I need someone ♪

- [Announcer] Mind the gap.

♪ I need a girl to hold me tight ♪

♪ Someone who can make me feel ♪

♪ Make me feel all right ♪

- [Announcer] This train terminates at London Bridge.

♪ Somebody help me, yeah ♪

♪ Somebody help me now ♪

♪ Somebody tell me what I've done wrong ♪

♪ Now somebody help me ♪

♪ Somebody help me, yeah ♪

♪ Somebody help me ♪

♪ Somebody help me now ♪

♪ Somebody help me, yeah, all right ♪

♪ Somebody help me now ♪

♪ Won't somebody tell me what I've done wrong ♪

♪ What I've done wrong ♪

(engines humming)

(eerie music)

♪ Accidents will happen ♪

♪ We only hit and run ♪

- [Man] New edition!

♪ Now you're not the only one ♪

♪ Accidents will happen ♪

♪ We only hit and run ♪

♪ I don't want to hear it ♪

♪ 'Cause I know what I've done ♪

(man wheezes)

- [Announcer] Train approaching.

Please stand behind the yellow line.

♪ There's so many fish in the sea ♪

♪ That only rise up in the sweat and smoke ♪

(brakes screeching) (screaming)

(clanking)

(sighs)

- Pauly. - Pauly.

- Paul, what are we going to do with ya?

- Second in a month?

It's becoming a habit.

- It wasn't my fault.

- Don't, don't, don't say that.

- He was dead before I hit him, I tried to stop.

- Oh, 'course you did.

C'mon, just a bit of bad luck, that's all.

- No, but the psychological effect

is still the same though, innit?

It all counts in the big game.

(shushing)

- What big game?

- The one nobody talks about.

- So why are we talking about it?

- Because we care about you, Pauly.

- [Rob] You all right, Paul.

See ya later, fellas.

- See ya later, Rob. - Yeah, see ya later, Rob.

(door clicking)

Three is the magic number.

The rule, man, the rule.

- What rule? - Three and out.

You hit three people in a month, they pay you off.

They retire you, 'cause they reckon

that you can't deal with it up top.

Three is the charm.

It's three. - And out.

- [Ash] And we're talkin' ten years' salary.

- [Vic] A lump sum, thank you very much.

- How much?! - Of course,

no one's ever done it, not in a month.

- Oh? - No you nearly did it in '98.

- Yeah, yeah, but I missed it by three days.

- [Vic] Ten years' wages.

(sighing)

- [Ash] So, how long did he get?

- Oh, I caught him at the biscuits.

I gave him six months.

Out in two with good behaviour.

- I tell you what, bruv,

you wanna get yourself on the Central Line.

They is always at it.

(groaning) (chuckling)

When does your month run out?

I mean, since you hit the first one?

- A week today, Monday.

- What, seven days?

Well, that's pushing it.

When you on next? - Monday.

They gave me the rest of the week off.

- A week off?!

So, that just gives you til, what?

Monday, bastards!

And you know why that is?

That's so you ain't even got a fightin' chance.

- Yeah, never mind, mate.

Another time, eh?

(clicks tongue)

(light music)

(wheel squeaking)

(funky rock club music)

- Oh, it's you.

The landlord was here today.

He was looking for you again.

He says you owe him two months' rent?

- I've got it, I've got it right here.

- Whoa, don't shoot the messenger.

I don't care whether you pay him or not.

Hey, do you want to come up?

- No, thanks, I've got some work to do.

- Well, if you change your mind.

(muffled rock music thumping)

- The rule, man, the rule. - Ten years' wages.

- [Ash] Three is the charm.

It's three. - And out.

(jackhammer thumping)

- [Ash] You hit three people in a month,

they pay you off, they retire you,

'cause they reckon you can't deal with it up top.

(shouting)

(horn beeping)

(groaning) (sirens blaring)

Three, three. - And out.

- Capital. - 95.8.

- [Announcer] It's been a London landmark

for over a hundred years,

but after a recent rise in fatalities,

the bridge in Holborn is fast gaining

a reputation for copycat incidents.

Now the authorities are increasingly

concerned about the rising suicide rate.

(tyres screeching)

(shouting) (horn blaring)

- Ten great songs in a row. - London's hit music station.

- [Woman] Are you feeling tired, or stressed,

or do you just need a break?

With Special Places.

(light music)

(groaning)

- Fuckin' hell.

Yeah, hi, I was wondering,

I've got some time on my hands

and I thought maybe I could, you know, volunteer,

do the odd afternoon or whatever.

A training course?

Oh, right.

I couldn't just drop in and...

No.

Oh, right.

Information pack?

No, no, I'm fine.

No, I've changed my mind, bye.

(funky upbeat music)

Excuse me, sir.

You're obviously on your last legs, I was wondering.

♪ One way or another ♪

♪ I'm gonna find ya ♪

♪ I'm gonna getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha ♪

♪ One way or another ♪

♪ I'm gonna win ya ♪

♪ I'm gonna getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha ♪

♪ One way or another ♪

♪ I'm gonna see ya ♪

♪ I wanna meet ya, meet ya, meet ya, meet ya ♪

♪ One day, maybe next week ♪

♪ I'm gonna meet ya ♪

♪ I'm gonna meet ya, I'll meet ya ♪

♪ I will drive past your house ♪

♪ And if the lights are all down ♪

♪ I'll see who's around ♪

♪ One way or another ♪

♪ I'm gonna find ya ♪

♪ I'm gonna getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha ♪

♪ One way or another ♪

♪ I'm gonna win ya ♪

♪ I'll getcha, I'll getcha ♪

♪ One way or another ♪

♪ I'm gonna see ya ♪

♪ I'm gonna meet ya, meet ya, meet ya, meet ya ♪

♪ One day, maybe next week ♪

♪ I'm gonna meet ya, ♪

♪ I'll meet ya, I'll meet ya ♪

♪ And if the lights ♪

- Hello.

Are you Paul?

- Yes.

- Hello, I am Maurice.

I'm pleased to make your acquaintance.

Please, eat.

I made them myself, my own recipe.

I am so pleased to meet you, Paul.

There are not many people who would do this.

- Glad to help.

- So, where will we do this thing, in your apartment?

- Well, no, on the underground, the tube.

- Ah, yes, but how is this possible?

- Well, I'll be driving the train and you can,

you know, jump.

- Jump, are you crazy?

I'd be killed!

- Well, that's the general idea.

- But what about the cooking? - Cooking?

(speaking foreign language)

- The cooking and the eating.

- Sorry, what cooking?

- I wish to watch

as you eat piece by piece.

- Eat what?

- Me!

First we cut off my penis.

Then we fry it, perhaps with onions.

And then we do the legs,

and the arms, and so on,

until I am all gone.

Oh, don't worry, Paul.

Many people have done this before.

Don't you read the news?

It tastes a little like pork.

How is your sausage?

Oh, what, is it too spicy?

- There's been a mistake, I'm sorry.

♪ One way or another ♪

♪ I'm gonna lose ya ♪

♪ I'm gonna give you the slip ♪

♪ A slip of the hip, or another ♪

♪ I'm gonna lose ya ♪

♪ I'm gonna give ya the slip ♪

(gasps)

(tyres screech)

- Hey!

Shit!

Wait, don't do it!

(stammering)

- What the? - Hold onto me!

- [Tommy] Let me go, you fucking arsehole!

- [Paul] Jesus Christ, grab my arm, climb back up.

- My fucking coat's caught on something.

Will you, look, just get me!

Pull me up!

Come on, pull me up, that's it.

You interfering little shite!

Why can't you leave a man be, eh?

Oh yeah, you fucking do-gooders, you think you can just--

- Stop, I can't breathe! - Good.

- Police, police, police!

- That's all I fuckin' need.

(groaning) (gasping)

(sirens blaring)

- Hey, get in!

(engine humming)

(tyres screeching)

How about I buy you a drink?

- I think you fuckin' owe me one.

(muffled mumbling)

(sighs)

Didn't think I'd be tasting that again.

- Cheers.

- Never mind the "cheers!"

What's your fucking game, eh?

What are you, one of these religious types?

Waiting like a vulture for some poor soul to save?

- I'm a tube driver. - You can forget about that

with me. - I'm not religious.

- Oh, I've done all the praying I'm gonna do, I tell ya.

- I want you to kill yourself.

- Keep it down will you, gobshite?

(sighs)

And you can shove that reverse psychology up your hole.

- No, it's true.

I want you to kill yourself.

- Well, you've done a bloody good job

of stopping me up until now.

(sniffs)

What is it you're after, eh?

Me organs, is it?

Oh yeah, you're going blind, you want me eyes, is that it?

- I was wondering if you'd be interested

in throwing yourself in front of my train.

I'd pay you, of course.

- You'd pay me?

Alright, pay to run me down?

- I was thinking in exchange for this service,

I could give you, say, 1,500 quid.

- Oh, right.

And I just throw meself under your train.

Presumably with a smile on my face?

- Well, yeah, basically.

- And 1,500 quid in my cold, dead hand, huh?

Jesus, that's a fantastic deal.

How could I refuse?!

What the fuck am I supposed to do

with 1,500 quid when I'm dead, huh?

Buy meself a fancy headstone?

- No, no, you won't be dead. - Huh?!

- I mean, you will be, but not until Monday morning.

So you got the whole weekend

to spend it on whatever you want.

A woman, lots of women.

- What do you think I was doing last night?

- Okay so, eat, drink, and be merry one last time.

- Look, I'm already fat, and me liver's shot,

and I don't feel like laughing, next.

- There must be something you always wanted to do

and you never got the chance.

- There is.

- [Paul] Excellent, what is it?

We'll do that.

- I want to swim with a great white shark.

No cage, just me and the beast.

Eyeball to eyeball.

There's a fella does it.

South African, I saw him on the telly.

He just gets right in there with them, no worries, ooh.

He's never been bit yet.

(sharply inhales)

Oh, I'd fucking love to do that.

- Yeah, well, the thing is, we've only got this weekend.

It has to be Monday.

What about London Aquarium, have they got sharks?

- Are you taking the piss?

- Well, something else, then.

Give it to charity.

Is there somebody you know that could use some cash?

What about your family?

- Me family?

They probably think I'm dead already.

- Well, there you go.

Be a nice surprise for 'em.

- You know, maybe this isn't such a good idea.

- Yeah?

Probably best not to involve family.

Always gets messy with family.

What about a day at the races?

Just take the money and blow it.

- Ah, fuck.

It's been seven or eight years.

I can't go, not now.

- You're probably right, let sleeping dogs lie and all that.

- Well, I wanted to go, you know?

I'm not a completely heartless bastard.

I wanted to say goodbye, make me peace.

Just didn't seem right, you know?

- Definitely, I think that's--

- And I'm gonna show up looking like this!

Like a fuckin' knacker without a penny in me pocket.

But that 1,500.

I'm not a religious man, but maybe...

Maybe this is God's way of giving me one last chance

to make up for all the shite I've rained down on them.

Ah, fuck.

Carpe diem, seize the day, huh?

Now, listen, son.

If we do this thing,

I have to make one thing clear.

- What's that? - A deal's a deal.

There's no backing out, no fucking around.

We shake on this, it's as good as done.

- You'll do it?

A deal's a deal.

- Now, where's that cash?

(light music)

(door squeaking)

Live alone, do you?

- Yeah, why?

- Oh, nothing, just a wild guess.

What did you do, rob a bookshop?

That a computer?

What's it for?

Playing with yourself?

- No, I'm a writer.

- A writer that drives a tube train?

- [Paul] Yeah, well, not for much longer, hopefully.

(clanking) (groaning)

- [Tommy] Grand chair, though.

(groans)

So, where's this 1,500 quid?

Well, hand it over.

- This is my rent money.

How do I know you're not just gonna take it and run?

(sighs)

- What did I say, huh?

A deal's a deal.

That means you give me the money

and I don't run away with it, understand?

Now, give me fucking the money.

- Hang on, there's 20 quid over.

- Eh, call it a bonus.

- No, let's call it 1,500 quid.

A deal's a deal.

- Don't mind if I crash here, do you?

Oh, by the way, what's your name?

- Oh, God, yeah, of course.

Paul Callow.

- Tommy Cassidy.

Eh, Paul?

Turn off the lights now, will you, when you're going out.

Gonna get some kip.

(door clanks)

(light ominous music)

(sighs)

(birds chirping)

(door creaking)

- Shit.

Bollocks.

(crinkling)

(sighs)

(horn blaring)

I thought you'd gone.

(grunts)

- Thought I'd had it away with your money, did you?

What did I say to you last night, huh?

What did I tell you?

- I dunno, a deal's a deal?

- That's right, a deal's a fuckin' deal,

and I don't want to have to say it again.

- What's the story with the car?

- Well, I couldn't show up on a bus, could I?

I've always wanted one of these.

Plus it's a rental, so I can batter the fuck out of it.

Come Monday, they can swing for their money.

- Wait there, wait a second.

- Oh, hey, I can't wait!

I don't want to hit the traffic.

(scoffs)

♪ It's all the time ♪

♪ It's gonna happen, happen ♪

♪ Till you change your mind ♪

- What do you think you're doin'?

- I'm coming with you.

- Like fuck you are.

I only came to say goodbye.

I'll see you Monday morning. - No way.

- Look, I'm not havin' you hangin' around

for my last weekend.

Your miserable face will kill

whatever little bit of joy I have left.

- You won't even notice me.

I'll just keep quiet in the background.

- Yeah, exactly, like the grim fuckin' reaper.

No, no, no, you're staying here.

- Come on, I know a deal's a deal and all that,

but I don't know you from Adam.

I just want to see this through.

- All right, but if you piss on my parade

I'll have your balls on a plate.

(funky music)

- [Paul] Nice suit.

- [Tommy] Rosemary always fancied me in a pinstripe.

♪ Everything goes when you're dead ♪

♪ Everything empties from what was in your head ♪

♪ No point in waiting today ♪

♪ Stupid revenge is what's making you stay ♪

(phone ringing)

- Hello? - Paul.

(speaking foreign language)

You are very naughty to run away.

Do I not look tasty?

I'm sure I will be flavoursome.

Perhaps with a soupcon or raspberry jus.

I make you a very tasty jus.

(phone beeps)

(groans)

- You all right? - Fine.

(horns blaring)

Fuck off!

(upbeat music)

- [Paul] I've never been to Liverpool.

- [Tommy] I'll give you the grand tour then, will I?

- What now?

- I was married in this church.

Eh!

That's sacrilege for a Protestant.

- How do you know I'm a Protestant?

- 'Cause you've all the spirit

of a wet weekend in Blackpool.

What else could you be?

- Isn't it a sin to commit suicide if you're a Catholic?

- Isn't it a sin to deliberately run someone down

with your train if you're a human being?

(harmonising religious music)

(window scraping)

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.

Hey!

They're 20p each.

- Isn't that just for Catholics?

(change rattling) (sighs)

(car engine humming)

- Callaghan, the bastard!

He must have paid off the whole council

to get that contract.

I knew him when he was digging ditches.

Oh, that fucker owes me big time.

- [Paul] Is this where you used to live?

- [Tommy] Yeah, lovely, isn't it?

- [Paul] What are you doing?

- [Tommy] I can't show up empty-handed, now, can I?

Not after all these years.

- What are you looking for?

Tell me what's going on.

That's a crowbar, I thought you were lookin' for a present?

What you gonna do with a crowbar?

- If you don't shut the fuck up,

you'll be using it to get my foot out of your arse!

(playful music)

- [Paul] What the hell are we doing here?

- It's none of your business.

I didn't ask you to tag along.

Oh, fuck!

Stop pushing.

Will you get off me?!

- Bloody hell, Tommy, what are you doing?

That's breaking and entering!

- Shut up and hold that.

Ah, fuck!

Watch this.

- [Paul] No, no, no, no, don't.

(glass crashing)

(shushing)

(playful music)

(clanking)

(chuckling)

(clanking)

(groaning)

- Get your hand off me arse.

(shouting) (crashing)

(groaning)

Hey, hey, Paul!

Come in.

Get in here, will ya, for fuck's sake!

(cat meowing) (gasping)

(glass clanking)

(playful music)

- Tommy, stop!

This is madness, let's go. - Will you shut up!

- This is mental.

What happens if we get caught?

- There's no one here.

They won't be back for hours from the club.

- Whose house is this, for Christ's sake?

- The Callaghans! - No!

This could screw up everything.

Come on!

- You listen to me, you little fucker.

You have a choice to make.

But you're gonna do this my way or we don't do it at all.

- I can always get someone else.

- Go ahead.

But you're not getting your money back, oh, no.

No, I'm doing this whether you want to or not,

so if you want to fuck off, be my guest.

I thought so.

Are you done? - Yes.

(shushing)

(suspenseful music)

(door squeaks)

- Jesus!

- We've got to go, we've got to go!

(stammering)

- Listen, they didn't hear me put the window in downstairs,

they won't hear us now.

(jangling)

Fuck.

She must be wearing it.

- What?

(intense playful music)

(whimpers)

(gasping) (groaning)

We'll have to use soap.

There should be some in there.

(door squeaking)

What the fuck?

(toilet flushes)

Oh, Jesus!

(playful music)

(grunts)

If he moves, hit him.

(snoring)

(splashing) (gasping)

(coughing)

- Michael Callaghan!

You dirty, old bastard!

- What the fuck?!

(gasping)

(scoffs)

What do you think you're doing down there, son?

- Hit him, hit him, hit him! - Fucking hell!

(groaning)

(gun cocking)

- Oh fuck, oh shit, oh fuck.

- You. - Oh fuck, oh shit, oh fuck.

- That's enough now, Paul.

- Turned to burglary, now, Cassidy?

That all you got left?

- I just came for what's mine, Callaghan.

- There's nothing here belonging to you, Cassidy.

- Tommy Cassidy?

Jesus.

What the bloody hell d'you think you're playing at?

- I'm sorry, Maureen.

I just came for me ring.

- What ring?

- The sapphire.

- What are you on about, your ring?

It were an anniversary present, that.

I've had it years.

- I know, you've had it nearly eight years, right?

- We've heard enough.

I'm calling the police.

- How do you know?

- He won it from me in a game of cards.

It was all I had left.

I'd just had it repaired for Rosemary.

- Don't listen to him, Maureen,

he's talking out of his arse.

- Go on.

- I told him I'd give him the cash,

but the fucker, he took a shine to it.

He said he needed something for your anniversary.

I couldn't face Rose after that.

- Bollocks, Cassidy!

You're a fucking liar and I've heard enough.

- Cards, gambling, lying?

Passing me off with your sordid little winnings?

- I tell you, Maureen.

He's a fucking liar, I wouldn't, I swear!

I bought it, you saw the shop where I bought it.

(whispering)

(ring clanking)

(growling)

- Get it, Paul.

- Leave it.

- Put it away, you old fool.

It's not even loaded!

(playful music)

(sighs)

Michael Callaghan.

You lying, conniving, cheapskate little toerag.

I always knew you were a rat,

but this is the lowest you have sunk!

Or is it, what else don't I know about ya?

(crashing) (shouting)

Come back!

(shouting)

- You're nicked! - Wait a second!

I can explain, look! - Pipe down!

- [Tommy] I'm a friend of the family.

- [Officer] Gimme the ring!

Get in the car. - This is a miscarriage

of justice!

(engine revving)

(coughing)

(siren blaring)

- Fuck, shit.

Oh, shit!

(boat horn blares)

(light ominous music)

Back to square one.

(squeaking)

- Hello, good morning.

- A single to London, please.

- Right, that'll be £107.50, please.

(phone ringing)

- Hello. - Paul, mon cher,

it is I, Maurice.

- Just leave me alone.

- [Maurice] Paul, it is your destiny to eat me.

Why not start with my ear?

- Listen, I don't want to eat you,

neither your ear or your penis

or any other part of you, do you understand?!

(phone beeps)

(knocking)

(phone ringing)

Just fuck off and leave me alone.

- [Tommy] Charming,

Is that any way to speak to your father?

- [Man] Okay, Paddy, your son's here.

(clanking)

- Hello, son.

- [Paul] Hello, Dad.

- You got two minutes, all right?

(door squeaking and clanking)

- Where the fuck did you get to?

- [Paul] I hid.

Once they got you, they didn't seem bothered about me.

- Well, never mind that now, have you got the ring?

- Yeah.

- What does that mean?

- I...

I thought I'd get caught.

It would be evidence.

It was kind of a mistake.

- You didn't.

- It hasn't come out yet,

but it shouldn't be too long, I'm pretty regular.

- That's going to be lovely, isn't it?

But you needn't strain yourself on my account.

The magistrates don't sit till Monday.

- No, no, no, no!

Oh, God!

There must be some way of getting you

out of here before Monday.

(light music)

You known Tommy and Callaghan a long time then?

- They used to work on my gang on the railways.

Oh, nothin' but trouble, the pair of them.

- What kind of trouble?

- With Tommy, it was usually the gambling.

Callaghan, well, he always had an eye for the ladies.

And still does, dirty fecker.

- Does he now?

(knocking)

- You've got a fucking nerve--

- Mr. Callaghan, I'm asking you nicely.

Will you drop the charges against Tommy?

- Save your breath for the law, son.

I don't want to hear it. - Okay, then.

- Well, we all know what you're saving

your breath for, don't we, Mickey Callaghan?

- Mary!

Mary Loughlin.

- How's your bollocks?

(gasping)

That rash cleared up, has it?

- What in God's name are you doing here?

- Well, that's a funny thing,

I was talking to that lad there.

He says he knows you.

- Knows me?

He tried to fucking rob me.

- Knows you and your wife.

Forgot to mention her on bonfire night, didn't ya?

When you wanted to put your big,

fat rocket in me flower-pot.

Went off with a right explosion, didn't it?

Do you remember, no?

Shall we ask your wife?

- All right, all right, all right.

(sighs)

- Who'd have thunk, eh, you were so smart?

- It's not funny, Jesus, Tommy.

What if I got nicked too?

You're gonna screw everything up.

- That was part of the deal, remember?

Give me a chance to sort things out.

- Yeah, with your family!

Not some bloke you used to play cards with.

- Ah, lighten up, son.

Isn't it about time you had a shite?

(intense playful music)

- [Paul] It's all right, I cleaned it.

(sniffing)

- I hope you washed your hands.

- Shall we?

- I don't know.

I'm not sure this is such a good idea.

Maybe I should just leave them some money, you know?

I mean, that'd be more use to them than my apologies.

- What's the worst that can happen?

She slams the door in your face?

- You obviously never met my Rose.

- Oh, so what?!

I haven't come all this way to watch you

back out at the last minute.

What happened to "seize the day?"

We're going.

And you're gonna say whatever it is you've come to say.

Come on, it'll be worth it.

(playful music)

- How do I look?

- Good.

(sighs)

(doorbell ringing) (stammering)

What?!

(funky music)

- Are you fucking my wife?

- I don't know.

Hang on a minute.

Eh, Sandra? - Yeah?

- Are you married to an old Irish bloke?

- [Sandra] No!

- Sandra?

Sorry, I must have the wrong place.

- Who is it you're looking for?

- Rosemary and Frances Cassidy.

I mean, Sheridan.

- Used to live here, did they?

- You don't know where they might have gone, do you?

(laughing)

- [Sandra] Hurry up, Derek.

We cannot hold this position much longer.

- We'll let you get back to your uh...

- I'm really sorry but it was a long-shot

after all this time.

Let's go back to London, eh?

- You need to have a little faith, Paul.

You shouldn't be so defeatist.

Something'll turn up, you'll see.

- Oi!

I found this, I think it's them.

(chuckling)

- [Paul] No.

- [Tommy] You ever been to the Lakes?

♪ For many a year ♪

♪ And I've spent all me money ♪

♪ On whiskey and beer ♪

♪ And now I'm returning ♪

♪ With gold in great store ♪

♪ And I never will play the wild rover no more ♪

♪ And it's no, nay, never ♪

♪ No, nay, never, no more ♪

♪ Will I play the wild rover ♪

♪ No, never, no more ♪

♪ I went into an ale-house I used to frequent ♪

(engine humming)

- Well, it's not exactly the country cottage

she always dreamed of, but you can't have everything.

She'll be happy enough.

Okay?

(glass crashing)

Oh, Jesus!

- She doesn't seem very pleased to see you, mate.

(glass crashing)

- She'll run out of cups in a minute.

Hey, Rosemary.

Ah, Jesus!

(clock ticking)

(sighs)

(coughing)

- Excuse me.

(door clanking)

- [Frances] Ma, I got the afternoon off!

Ma, where are ya?

- In here, love.

- Have we got visitors?

Whose is that fancy...

- Frances.

Wow, is that you?

(chuckles)

Frankie!

- Now look what you've done.

- What?

All I did was say hello.

- You can't just turn up after eight years

and expect her to welcome you with open arms.

- What was I supposed to do?

- You should have thought of that before you walked out.

- Don't start in, Rosemary,

I've only just walked through the door.

- And you're lucky I let you over the frontstep!

"Don't start in?!"

Eight years without a bloody word

and you think you can turn up here

in your fancy suit telling me what to do, start in?!

I'll bloody start in, all right.

- Come on, Rose, I've driven all the way from London.

- Well, you can get back into your stolen car

and drive back there.

- It's not stolen--

- Listen, I've heard that all before and I don't...

- Listen, I'm gonna leave you two.

I'll take a walk.

- You'll want a cup of tea, I suppose?

- Yeah, that'd be very grand.

(light music)

Oh.

Best China here, Rose?

- You're a guest.

Guests get China.

Anyway, the rest is broken.

(chuckling)

I thought you were dead, Tommy.

All the other times you always came back,

maybe a week later, maybe months, but...

You always came back to me.

And I was stupid enough to take you back,

but I'm telling you, things are different now.

(sighs)

I'm different.

(sniffing)

So, what do you want, Tommy?

- Can't I just-- - No, Tommy, you can't.

You can't just waltz back in here,

upset everyone, and disappear off again, no.

Which is exactly what you're planning, isn't it?

- Well, I wouldn't-- - So, it's business as usual?

Well, I'm not having it, Tommy.

I'm not having Frankie upset like that again, ever.

'Cause you have no idea

what that little girl was like when you left.

- If I could just talk to her--

- You're too late, Tommy.

She won't have anything to do with you.

(sighs)

- What about you, Rose?

- I'll hear you out.

And that's as good as you'll get.

(sighs)

You'll want a sandwich, I suppose?

(sighs)

(light music)

(pills clanking)

(sighs)

- So, how's she doing?

- She's fine.

Well, as fine as any young girl can be.

I feel like putting up a sign outside,

"Beware of the Daughter."

- That's my fault.

- Yeah.

Well, not all of it, 95%.

- Is she doing well at school, though?

- School, she's 22, Tommy!

- I knew that.

I meant like college or--

- She's working now.

Up at the Travel Lodge.

- Oh, right you are.

Boyfriends?

- More than I know.

You've seen her.

- She's a fine-looking girl.

Takes after her mother, huh?

- Just as well.

- [Tommy] What's with the fancy hairdryer, and stuff?

- [Rosemary] It's mine.

- You need all that for your hair?

- I'm a hairdresser.

- You, a hairdresser?!

- Mm, I found something I love doing

and I'm bloody good at it.

Just locals, mind, but extra money come in handy.

- Well, fair play.

I could do with a bit of a trim meself, huh?

- Well, I could've done with a husband

for the last eight years,

but we don't always get what we want, do we, Tommy?

And your man, the chatty lad, who's he?

- Ah, just a fella I know.

Bit of a sad sack, really.

Not too much going on upstairs, you know?

I just thought I'd take him out for a bit.

(light music)

What do you think of the suit, Rose?

You always liked me in a pinstripe, didn't you?

(chuckles)

- I did that.

But a fancy suit aside, you're lookin' like

five pound o' shite in a three pound bag.

You don't be lookin' after yourself, Tom.

Where've you been all this time, what've you been doing?

No, don't answer!

I don't want to know.

- That's enough about me, anyways.

How have you been?

You know, I mean, yourself.

- What, you mean after working at four jobs

to pay off the debts you left behind?

Being so tired I thought I was dying?

Struggling to put food on our daughter's table

and shoes on her feet, me?

I'm grand.

(sighs)

Actually, I am.

I've made a new life for us up here,

and for the first time in ages, I'm grand.

And I want to stay this way.

(light music)

That my ring?

- It is, yeah.

- You found it, how?

- Oh, just, don't ask.

- I always wanted Frankie to have it.

- Put it on.

It'll still fit you.

You haven't put on a pound since.

(light music)

- You're a bastard, Tommy.

You are a bastard!

(clanking)

(sniffling)

- Oh, Rose, Rose.

Oh.

(sobbing) (shrieking)

- I was bored, all right? - Bored?

You listen to me, you little shit.

This is my time.

I've got 36 hours to do as I fucking please.

Now, you go and be bored somewhere else.

- Everything okay out here? - Everything's grand!

(chuckles)

Our Paul here was just wondering

where the local hostelry is.

- It's over there by the lake,

I'm surprised you didn't see it.

- Oh, thanks.

I'll go and take another walk, then.

(playful music)

♪ Ooh, watchin' me ♪

♪ I'm hangin' by a string this time ♪

♪ Don't, easily ♪

♪ The climax of a perfect life ♪

- Why did you bring him here?

He's an asshole.

And if you're mates with him, then you're an arsehole too.

- I'm not... - So, you can take him back

to whatever hole he crawled out of.

He's nothing to me.

- Is he bothering you, Frankie?

- No, I'm not.

- No, leave him.

I want to hear what he's got to say for himself.

- Yeah, well, if you need us, we're here.

- I'm like a shark, you know?

- And what does that mean?

- I think, like if...

If I stop swimmin', I'll die.

(sniffing)

- Can you smell something? - Oh, come on, now, Rose.

- Oh no, I know what it is. - Don't!

- Bullshit, that's what.

(sighs)

- Well, what do you think I am?

- Oh, well, if a shark is a cold-blooded, selfish creature

only concerned with his own wants and needs,

well, then you're not far away.

- Is that what you think I am? - Hm, me?

No, no, I think you're a lying, cheating scumbag

who gambled away everything we had and more,

pissed the rest against the wall,

and then disappeared without a word.

Not once, not twice, but three times.

You're the lowest of the low, and I...

(sighs)

I don't know why I have you in the house.

- I guess that's not very good, then.

- No, Tom, it's not.

- If you don't really know him, what are you doing here?

- Research.

I'm a writer.

- Yeah, well, I hope you're not writing about that shitbag.

Unless it's a tragedy.

- No.

Nothing like that.

I'm just soaking up the atmosphere, really.

Looking for new ideas.

Only came along for the ride.

- Yeah, well, he's a fucker, so watch yourself.

- He's all right.

I mean, no, obviously he's a complete shit, but...

Jeez, you must really hate him.

Did you never get on?

- I guess so.

He was brilliant when I was little.

Just filled up the place.

Like a big bear.

And then, when he left,

it was like a big hole where he'd been.

So, a writer, eh?

Anything I might've read?

- Um, no, not yet.

One day.

(grunts)

(glugging)

(sighs)

Another?

(shouting)

- [Paul] What the hell is that?

- Get it down ya.

(clinking)

- So, you don't think there's any chance

of them getting back together, do you?

- [Frances] Mum and Dad?

No way!

♪ It's around me ♪

♪ Inside I'm feelin', oh, so cold ♪

♪ Oh, yes ♪

- So, tell me about London.

- I don't see much of it, really.

I'm underground most of the time.

- Underground?

- Yeah. I'm a tube driver too.

- A writer who also drives a tube train, eh?

Very glamorous.

Oh, just research for your novel, I suppose.

- Yeah, that's right.

It's all about a tube driver.

Terribly handsome, comes to the Lake District,

meets this feisty, young girl

who gives him a really fucking hard time,

and they get drunk.

- Oh, yeah?

How does it end?

- Tragically.

- Oh!

(chuckles) (phone ringing)

Hello, Paul's phone.

No, I'm sorry, he can't get to the phone right now.

Can I take a message?

Oh, okay, bye.

Apparently, some foreign bloke says

he makes tasty crackling and you shouldn't be afraid.

What's that all about?

- It's just a mate.

He's a chef, wants me to try a new recipe.

- See, I don't know any fancy foreign chefs.

You can't tell me it's not exciting living in London.

- It's not exciting living in London.

- Oh, come on, it must be. - It's not!

It's like livin' in some huge ant hill

where nothing works properly.

Millions of people just getting in each other's way.

No space, no air.

- So, why don't you leave?

- I'm trying, but it's hard.

If you got money, it's bearable,

but if you're skint, you're trapped.

- Try living here.

Everybody knows you, knows everything about you.

Nothing changes, nothing ever happens.

Around here, their idea of a good time

is to get shit-faced as quickly as possible,

and then shag anyone who'll let them,

and then do it all again tomorrow.

Now, that's being trapped.

- To escaping.

- To escaping.

(glasses clinking)

And a big, fat win on the lottery.

(chuckling)

- What?

- I was just thinking about Wicklow.

- What about Wicklow?

Is that the time you disgraced yourself

running around half naked?

- No, not that.

The singing competition.

Oh, you were a star that night.

(chuckles)

My Rosemary, first prize.

Sing for me, Rose. - Hm?!

- Sing for me.

- Get away out of that.

What do you think I am, the Rose of feckin' Tralee?

- Ah, go on, Rose, please.

- I can't, Tommy, jeez, it's been years.

- 'Course you can, you've a gorgeous voice.

Please, for me.

(humming)

Ah, not like that, do it properly.

Like you did in Wicklow.

Now, go on.

- You're a menace, Tommy Cassidy.

♪ Oh, please ne'er forget me ♪

(clears throat)

♪ Though the waves now lie o'er me ♪

♪ I was once young and pretty ♪

♪ And my spirit ran free ♪

♪ But destiny tore me ♪

♪ From country and loved ones ♪

♪ And from the dear land ♪

♪ I was never to see ♪

♪ A poor immigrant's daughter ♪

♪ Too frightened to know ♪

♪ She was leaving forever ♪

♪ The land of her soul ♪

Now, that's all you're getting.

And it's more than you deserve.

(sniffs)

- Beautiful.

I can die a happy man now I heard that.

- You'll outlive us all.

Only the good die young.

(laughing)

- Quiet, isn't it?

- It's the country.

It's always quiet.

- Yeah, but it's a bit creepy, really.

- Yeah.

- So, were you planning on staying tonight, or weren't you?

- Ah.

You know, I'll find somewhere.

I'll sleep in the car.

You know me, I can sleep on a rope.

- You're a feckin' torment, Tommy.

- Well, look at that sky.

Look!

There's a shooting star.

- Actually, that's a satell--

- A satellite, yeah, I know.

I was just checking.

♪ I saw two shooting stars last night ♪

♪ I wished on them ♪

♪ But they were only satellites ♪

♪ It's wrong to wish on space hardware ♪

♪ I wish, I wish, I wish you'd care ♪

♪ I don't want to change the world ♪

♪ I'm not looking for a new England ♪

♪ I'm just looking for another girl ♪

(smooching)

- Thanks.

- Come on, let's get home.

(light music)

(smooching)

- No, Tommy.

- You smell gorgeous. - I said no.

- Come on, you know you love it,

a bit of the old Tommy magic.

- It doesn't work anymore, Tom.

(light music)

(sighs)

- Shit!

(shushing)

(snickering)

(funky punk music)

- Wait, why me?

- 'Cause you're different. - Okay.

♪ My love, you got me spinning like a wind-up toy ♪

♪ Hot kiss, won't you tell me what you miss, boy ♪

♪ My love, you got me spinning like a wind-up toy ♪

♪ Oh, Father ♪

♪ I pray to thee ♪

♪ I got a man, so blind I can't see ♪

♪ I'm his favourite toy ♪

♪ Like a beach ball ♪

♪ Bang it up and down or throw it against the wall ♪

♪ Oh, Tallulah, he said you're so dramatic ♪

♪ What's all that shakin' goin' on in your attic ♪

♪ Hot kiss, won't you tell me what miss, boy ♪

♪ My love, you got me spinning like a wind-up toy ♪

♪ Hot kiss, won't you tell me what you miss, boy ♪

♪ My love, you got me spinning like a wind-up toy ♪

♪ You can't knock it, or rock it, or be-bop it ♪

♪ It's an itch you can't scratch ♪

♪ Nothing's gonna stop it ♪

(moaning)

♪ Waitin' on man and his one hot kiss ♪

♪ I'm on the prowl ♪

(birds chirping)

(clanking)

(heavily breathing)

- Oh, you're up.

I thought I'd bring you a cup of tea.

- Er, come sit down, Tom.

There's something I'd better tell you.

I'm going to divorce you, Tommy

'cause I want to get married again.

He's...

He's a good man.

He lives in the next village.

He's a plumber.

Oh, come on, you didn't think

I wanted to grow old on my own.

Well, speak to me, then.

- I'll bring this in to Frances.

She'll probably be down for a cup.

(sombre music)

(knocking)

Frances, can I come in?

- [Frances] No, go away.

- Oh, please.

Hear me out, Frankie, will ya?

Look, I brought ya nice cup of tea.

- Did you listen, I said no?!

- Please, I just wanna talk, huh?

Here.

(clanking)

(sighs)

I don't know where to start.

Maybe I should let you talk, huh?

You know, you tell me what you feel and how I let you down.

- Please, not now.

- Right, right, it's not my call.

The thing is, Frances,

I hate meself for what I've done.

Much more than you ever could.

You know?

Now, I know that doesn't change anything

or make it better, oh God, I'm terrible at this!

(groaning)

All I want to say is.

(coughing)

(playful music)

I've been a terrible father,

but that doesn't mean

I don't care or feel...

What the fuck?

Jesus!

(screaming)

- Get out of my room!

(screaming)

- Don't start!

- [Frances] Get out!

- He was in the bed! - I don't care!

(screaming)

What do you mean?

(screaming)

- Paul!

(playful music)

- Bastard.

Oh, oh, oh, fuck, fuck!

Come back, you little bastard!

I'll take a fucking bar to you!

Good morning, Father.

I'm gaining on you, you little fucker!

I'll rip your fucking head off, you little bollocks.

(groans)

Jesus!

- Tommy, let's just talk about this.

Be reasonable.

- Oh, I'll be reasonable.

I'll be very reasonable.

(splashing)

(groaning)

(grunting)

Ha!

(cows mooing)

I've got you now, you little shit.

(cows mooing)

- You're the one that said "seize the day!"

- Seize the day, not me feckin' daughter!

- Well, you didn't seem that bothered about it two days ago!

She won't even talk to you.

- Jesus, I could kill you!

(grunting and shouting)

- [Paul] Oh fuck, oh shit, oh fuck!

Don't drop me, please, don't drop me!

- Me own fucking daughter!

(cow mooing)

(hysterically laughing)

What's so fucking funny?

- You, us, life!

- Life, huh?

Is that what you call it?

You oughta start leading one, pal,

instead of following one around.

- [Paul] You're the one who's topping himself, mate!

- Like you give a fuck.

You never even asked me why.

- Because I don't care, that's why!

You think you're the only one who's ever screwed up?

Well, boo-hoo-hoo, Tommy.

Life sometimes sucks and that's all there is to it,

but not all of us are filled with so much self-pity

they feel the need to kill themselves.

- How the fuck would you know?

Sittin' around with your head stuck up your ass all day!

- How the fuck would I know?

'Cause I'm standing on a bridge

in the middle of fuck knows where,

covered in cow shit, fighting a fat,

old Irishman dressed in a kimono.

And all because his daughter hates him

and seems to quite like me.

(screaming) (cows mooing)

- [Boy] Come on.

Budge up.

Come on, now.

(panting) (playful music)

Come on!

Come on!

(spitting)

- [Tommy] Here.

- For fuck's sake.

(groaning)

- Hey!

Where are you going?

Eh, Paul, wait!

Wait, you fucker, wait for me!

I tell you what, you can forget about tomorrow.

- Good. - Yeah, you can find

`some other poor fucker

because I won't be there. - So?

- Fuck you! - No, fuck you!

(groaning)

Tommy, you're an asshole.

Tommy?

That's so childish, mate.

That's...

Tommy?

Tommy, mate, Tommy!

Oh, fuck.

Don't do this to me, Tommy.

Tommy!

(ominous music)

- [Man] All up!

- Don't let them see me like this.

Rose and Frankie.

I'm serious. - All right, okay, okay.

(light music)

He's in the hospital.

(muffled whispering)

(knocking) (sniffing)

I'm off to see him now.

- Well, I'm not going.

- Okay.

- If he thinks having a heart attack can make up for...

Well, he can think again.

- Maybe you should go and see him.

- Why?

- I don't know.

You never know when you'll see him again.

- [Frances] Like I care.

- What if something happens?

What if it was the last time?

I'll see you later. - No, you won't.

- I will, I promise. - No.

I mean, I don't want to.

- Oh.

Okay - Just go, Paul.

(sobbing)

- Well, I'd better get off.

- You'll call and let us know how he is?

You'll see that he's all right?

Look out for him?

- I hardly know him, really.

- Promise me.

So say it.

- All right, I promise.

(car engine humming)

- Where the hell have you been?

- How's it going?

- Great, you brought me gear. - Don't get excited.

The doctor wants you to stay another night for observation.

- I'm not staying here all night.

No, I have things to do.

- Hey, you just had a suspected heart attack.

For Christ's sake, lie down. - Heart attack, me arse.

It was just a touch of angina, more lively than usual.

- Forget it, you're staying here.

- What's it to you?

(groaning)

Please don't leave me here, Paul.

Please.

You stay here.

- Okay.

(light music)

(mailbox creaking)

(birds chirping)

That everything you wanted to say to her?

- Let's go.

(keys jangling) (engine revving)

- It's because you're ill, isn't it?

- [Tommy] What?

- That you agreed to, you know.

- I never heard of someone killing themselves

because they had angina.

- But it's not, though, is it?

It's not just angina.

So, what is it, then, what?

- All right, it's not just angina.

- [Paul] So, what, then?

- It's terminal, that's all you need to know.

I don't want to die in some piss-stinking nursing home,

surrounded by people dribbling and making farm noises.

However long I've got left,

whether it's six months or six years,

it's not gonna be some fucking golden age, oh no.

It'll be shite.

Every day worse than the last.

I won't have it.

I'm going out when I say,

not when they decide to pull the fucking plug.

I'm a stubborn, selfish bastard.

I wanna choose when I die.

(car engine humming)

- [Radio Announcer] There are warnings of gales

in Forties, Cromarty,

Forth, Tyne, Dogger,

Fisher, German Bight.

(ominous music)

(heavy breathing)

(rock music thumping)

(laughing)

(sighing)

- Change of plan.

- Oh, look, Paul.

Paul, no, wait, listen.

(shouting and laughing)

- Hey, how are you? - I'm all right, yeah.

- It's not too loud, is it? - No, not at all.

I just figured, you know, if you can't beat 'em.

- No, I'm not, I'm like a big shark.

A shark, you know?

If I stop swimming, I die.

(upbeat music)

- Oi, come on!

(shouting)

- [Tommy] Hey, c'mon, c'mon!

♪ If I should fall from grace with God ♪

♪ Where no doctor can relieve me ♪

♪ If I'm buried beneath the sod ♪

♪ But the angels won't receive me ♪

♪ Let me go, boys ♪

♪ Let me go, boys ♪

♪ Let me go down in the mud ♪

♪ Where the rivers all run dry ♪

♪ This land was always ours ♪

♪ Was the proud land of our fathers ♪

♪ It belongs to us and them ♪

♪ Not to any of the others ♪

♪ Let them go, boys ♪

♪ Let them go, boys ♪

♪ Let them go down in the mud ♪

♪ Where the rivers all run dry ♪

(shouting and laughing)

(cheering)

(laughing and clapping)

- I should've come up before.

- Paul, have you got the keys?

- You're not going yet, are you?

- Yeah.

I better get some sleep.

We've both got a big day tomorrow.

Don't tell me you've forgotten our little arrangement.

I'll see you at six minutes past 10, all right?

Goodnight, it was great. - Thank you.

Sweet dreams!

- Tommy, wait.

I can't do it.

- 'Course you can.

A deal's a deal. - No, Tommy.

I promised Rosemary.

- Oh, what the fuck did you tell her?

- Nothing, I didn't tell her anything,

she asked me to look out for you.

- Well, that's all I'm asking you to do.

Look out for me, and when you see me, don't stop.

That way, you're not breaking any promises to anybody.

(door slams)

Tell me, Paul.

- What?

- Why do you want me under your train?

(sighs)

- It's just...

I've had two people die under my train this month.

- Jesus, you're a serial killer!

- No, they weren't my fault.

They got this rule.

If you have three in a month,

they pay you off.

Ten years' wages, lump sum.

(grunts)

- What were you planning to do with this pay-off?

Buy more books?

- Get out of London.

Go and live in Scotland on an island.

Get away from everything.

- Really?

Life in the fast lane get too much for you?

Youth is wasted on the young.

(sighing)

You know, somebody famous said that.

And what were you planning to do on this island of yours?

- Write, I guess.

- Write, what about?

You've had no life!

- Anyway, it doesn't matter, I don't want it anymore.

I didn't know you before, you were just some bloke,

but now we're friends, I think.

I don't want to do it.

The money's not important.

- Well, it might not be to you, but it is to me.

I want some of that to go to Frances.

10 grand!

(sighing)

Look, Paul, son.

If this weekend showed me anything,

it's that I want some good to come of my passing.

You know, if I jumped from that bridge,

the only thing I would've left behind

was a traffic jam all the way up to the Angel.

(chuckles and sighs)

Now, this way,

I get to give something to me little girl.

That's something I wasn't able to do when I was alive.

Now, you'll get your money.

Everyone's a winner.

Now that's how I want it.

- For fuck's sake, I don't want the money!

I'm an idiot, I didn't think things through.

It seemed like a good idea at the time, but it's not.

It's crazy!

I can't do it, I won't!

- Do you know how many nights I've stood on that bridge?

How many times I've climbed over

and stood on the parapet

and wanted to jump, wanted to end it all?!

You want the truth?

The truth is I'm a coward.

I'm fucking scared.

I need your help.

I need you to be there for me.

The only way I can do this is if you help me.

You said we were friends, hm?

Then help me to do this.

Please, Paul.

As me friend, huh?

(ominous music)

- [TV Announcer] Police say a man from North London

is in intensive care tonight, following a bizarre attempt

to cook and eat his own body parts.

Believed to be a native Frenchman.

(sighs)

(rustling)

(light sombre music)

(door creaking)

- [Tommy] My dearest Frances,

I know you're angry and hurt.

You don't want to hear anything I have to say.

I don't want you to feel bad for not speaking to me.

I don't blame you at all.

And, of course, you're right.

I don't expect you to understand

why I've done the things I've done.

I don't even understand them meself.

Though me pals, Arthur Guinness and Jack Daniels,

might have an idea.

Anyway.

I need you to know

it was never my intention to hurt you.

I've been stupid, and selfish, and pig-headed.

I don't have much to show for me time.

Except you.

And I couldn't ask for more.

Look after your mother.

You don't need me to tell you she's one of life's good ones.

Far too good for someone like me.

Tell her I'm pleased about her and the plumber.

It's always handy to have

a man with a trade about the house.

She deserves a bit of happiness.

I know I was never the father

you needed or deserved,

but you will always be my beautiful girl,

and I will always love you.

Always, always, always.

(sobbing)

- He still had six weeks in solitary.

I mean, if people don't respect the law, what have you got?

Anarchy, mob rule, and mice in your garibaldis.

- What are you going on about?

What, you think his mouse brothers

come down here and busted him out?

Mind you.

I think I can see a tunnel.

(laughing)

- Ooh, back already?

- Ahh, there's your culprit.

A bleedin' heart liberal like Paul.

- What? - Yeah, that's it.

He's got the hump about that three-and-out thing,

and he's come down here

and he's let Mickey have it away on his toes.

That's your man, Victor.

He even looks guilty.

- [Victor] It was just a joke, Paul,

we were only having a laugh.

- Laugh about what, what you talking about?

- You know, the rule, the big game, three and out.

- [Paul] What about it?

- You know what?

I think he believed us.

- You knew it was a joke, a wind-up, didn't ya?

What, you actually fell for it?

(laughing)

Jesus, if it was true,

everybody'd be looking for somebody to run down.

You didn't believe us, did ya?

- No, 'course not.

- [Ash] You know what?

Maybe it wasn't him what let that mouse out.

(laughing)

(ominous music)

(retching)

(train screeching)

(muffled mumbling)

- [Announcer] This train is now ready to depart.

Stand clear of the doors, please.

(train revving)

(train screeching)

- Jesus, Tommy, no.

Please, no.

- [Woman] Train 208, is there a problem?

- Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

- A deal's a deal.

Come on, Paul, for God's sake, hurry up.

- [Woman] Train 208.

Come in, driver.

- Driver 208, animal on track.

Line clear.

Proceeding now.

You stubborn, old bastard!

(intense music)

A deal's a deal.

- I will arise and go now and go to Innisfree.

And a small cabin build there of clay and wattles made.

Nine bean rows will I have there,

and a hive for the honey bee.

And live alone in the bee-loud glade.

I shall have some peace there,

for peace comes dropping slow.

Dropping from the veils of the morning

to where the cricket sings.

There midnight's all a glimmer.

(screaming)

An evening full of the linnet's wings!

(sombre music)

(distant shouting)

(computer clicking)

(sighing)

(light music)

(keyboard clacking)

♪ When you're down ♪

♪ And troubled ♪

♪ And you need a helping hand ♪

♪ And nothing ♪

♪ Oh, nothing is going right ♪

- [Frances] Oh!

♪ Close your eyes ♪

♪ And think of me ♪

♪ And soon I will be there ♪

♪ To brighten up ♪

♪ Even your darkest night ♪

♪ You just call out my name ♪

(sobbing and laughing)

♪ And you know wherever I am ♪

♪ I'll come running ♪

♪ To see you again ♪

- Pack your bags.

There's something we've got to do.

♪ If the sky ♪

♪ Above you ♪

♪ Should turn dark and full of clouds ♪

♪ And that old north wind ♪

♪ Should begin to blow ♪

♪ You just call out my name ♪

♪ And you know wherever I am ♪

♪ I'll come running, running, running ♪

♪ To see you again ♪

♪ You just call out my name ♪

♪ And I'll be there, yes, I will ♪

♪ You've got a friend ♪

♪ You've got a friend ♪

♪ You've got a friend ♪

♪ You've got a friend ♪

♪ Just call out my name ♪

♪ You've got a friend ♪

♪ You've got a friend ♪

♪ You've got a friend ♪

♪ You've got a friend ♪

(upbeat music)

♪ Somebody help me, yeah ♪

♪ Somebody help me now ♪

♪ Won't somebody tell me what I've done wrong ♪

♪ When I was just a little boy of 17 ♪

♪ I had a girl, she was my queen ♪

♪ She didn't love me like I loved her ♪

♪ Now I know ♪

♪ Now I'm so lonesome on my own ♪

♪ Somebody help me now ♪

♪ Somebody help me ♪

♪ Somebody help me, yeah ♪

♪ Somebody help me ♪

♪ Somebody help me now ♪

♪ What I've done wrong ♪

♪ Somebody help me, yeah ♪

♪ All right ♪

♪ Somebody help me now ♪

♪ Won't somebody tell me ♪

♪ What I've done wrong ♪

♪ What I've done wrong ♪

♪ All right ♪