Original subtitles

Good evening, madam.

Lovely evening, isn't it, madam?

Good evening, sir.

I'll park the car for her, sir.

Thank you, sir. Very good, sir. Madam, can I take madam's hand for madam,

Have a good night, sir.

Thank you, sir.

Here we go, madam.

Frank, Frank, she's out of the car, Frank!

She's not out of the car!

You stupid, stupid dickhead!

Good evening, sir. Welcome, sir.

Hey, Mitchell.

G'day, Mitchell. Frank.

It's Mitchell.

Oh, g'day, Mitchell. How are you?

Cole. Frank. We live next door to you. How are you going?

Trim it. Trim it.

No, just park the car.

There's a good boy.

All right. Good to catch up, Mitchie.

20 cents short.

Oh, Mitchell's got plenty of change.

We've got to go, Cole. There's some cars waiting. But... I don't think you

should have taken that money.

You've got a whole pile of change.

You won't miss 20 cents.

20 cents missing from my console.

Do you two know anything about this?

No.

We can do this one of two ways.

We can admit to stealing the 20 cents.

Hand it back.

No more need be said.

Or... I can call security.

And they can sort it out.

Don't call security.

We'll get fired.

Okay, we took the 20 cents.

Security!

I got a feeling.

Got a bit of an inkling.

This is gonna be one of those days.

This is a show all about me.

And me. And all the things I do and all the things I see. And also what I see.

I've got a feeling, got a bit of an inkling.

As long as we're together, it'll be okay.

I

can't

believe we got fired again.

What a bully that Mitchell turned out to be.

What a pathetic bully. I hate bullies.

Are you listening to me?

When I'm talking to somebody, I expect them to look at me.

All right?

I've got enough money to pay this month's rent, but I don't know what

going to do next month.

Pen!

It's all right, Frank. Don't cry. It's just a pen.

It's not that.

When you mentioned next month, it reminded me.

Next month is... February.

Frank, it's all right.

He's born on the 29th of February. He doesn't get a birthday this year.

Come on, Frank, look on the bright side.

Because you're born in a leap year, technically you're still only seven.

You can still play under -8s basketball.

You can win the best and fairest every year. You can be the rebound king.

Those little kids wouldn't stand a chance.

It's just not fair.

Once every four years, it's... It's too long.

It's too long!

I know, Frank.

We'll have a party anyway.

We'll celebrate it on the 28th.

The 28th.

The 28th?

Don't patronise me. I don't want somebody else's birthday.

The 28th.

People like you make me sick.

People don't understand.

Frank, it's better than nothing.

Us 29thers have feelings, mate.

We have our principles.

It'll be fun.

We have our dignity.

We can have cake.

What sort of cake?

Chocolate.

Alright, why not?

I'm going to have a party.

I've never had a party before.

I'm going to have a party.

I'm going to have a party. I'm going to have a party.

I'm going to have a party.

I'm going to have a party.

Can I borrow your pen, please?

Certainly. Thanks.

Listen, there's something I have to tell you.

I'm very sorry.

You guys seem so nice.

This pen doesn't work either!

Sorry, my job.

It's about your flat.

You see, your lease...

are having an inspection by your landlord because your lease runs out in

And guess what?

Your landlord is only going to renew one of the two front flats because he wants

his cousin to move into the other one.

So either you or Mitchell Hawthorne will be evicted.

And Mitchell is one of...

party frank we're going to be on the streets your party's the least of our

problems but i've never had a party i was

can't give up.

We don't know that the landlord is going to choose Mitchell over us. I mean,

we've lived here nearly ten years and he only moved in a year ago. I am sure

that Mr. Wilson will feel some loyalty to you and me. Oh, yeah.

And you'll probably drop the rent, too.

Do you really think he will? Oh!

Hang on. That doesn't make any sense.

You know, you should have said... You should have said, no, I'm not being

sarcastic.

You know, you can't say, yeah, I'm being really sarcastic.

Sarcastically. Like, that's really... That's wrong.

That doesn't make any sense.

Oh, well, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I'm not perfect.

I'm sorry that I haven't mastered sarcasm. I mean, you're so fantastic and

so stupid.

I mean, you're the man that everybody thinks is fantastic and I'm just a

man that crawls around on the ground like a little ant. You're so good.

I'm so bad. Help me. You're the best man in the world. I'm just a little man

running around like a dickhead. And what are you? You're the best. Help me.

You're the man that everybody thinks... Thank

you.

to clean up the flat, Carl. I mean, I think we should give it our best shot.

A basketball.

A thank you.

A ping pong balls.

A thank you.

A dart board.

A thank you.

A dart.

Can you come and put your penis in this door frame for me, please?

Well, this looks terrific, I think.

You know, Frank, I think we might be in with a bit of a chance. You may get to

have your party after all.

You know what I'd really like?

A surprise party.

And make sure you tell me which night it's on so I know, you know, to turn up

the right time so I don't get a really big surprise.

Okay.

Oh, we missed this dart.

Oh, that's not good.

That's not good at all. We'll have to patch that.

Don't worry about it. You can hardly even see it.

You know what Mr Wilson's like?

He's the fussiest landlord you can get.

He's got an eagle eye. He'll see that hole as soon as he walks in the door.

You know what I've always thought is really strange about Mr Wilson?

When he comes over...

He never says anything.

Yeah, that's because he's a mute.

What's a mute?

He's a mute. He can't talk.

What do you mean?

For some reason, he is unable to speak.

No, I'm still not clear on this whole mute business. He's a mute. He's dumb.

Yeah, well, I'm dumb too, but at least I'm polite enough to speak to people.

Look, I'm going to go down to the shops and get some plaster to patch the hole.

You stay here and don't touch anything.

Don't touch a thing.

I said don't touch a thing.

Done! Alrighty.

Could be a bit smoother.

I wish that hadn't happened.

Come on, Frank, we can deal with this.

This is simple, let's not panic.

As my father always used to say, the early bird catches the worm.

How does that relate to this?

Well, the first bird up, the worms are his.

I don't see the connection with our problem.

If you're up before the other birds, you won't go hungry.

Yes. I don't know.

I'm just trying to be positive.

My father said it, it related to something, and made me feel good.

Can we just go?

I think it was Mr. Wilson.

Okay, Frank, yeah, you do.

What the hell are you doing?

I'm going to fix it now.

It's as big as a basketball.

No way.

It's nowhere near as big as a basketball. You don't know what you're

about. Look, I'll prove it.

Look, see, it's nowhere near as big as a...

I wish that hadn't happened.

Hold it, hold it!

If you push too hard, the ball will go through the plaster on the other side.

I'll have to go into the next room.

and put my weight against the wall of the brace.

I just remembered, we haven't got our next room.

So the room on the other side must be Mitchell's lounge.

I thought that I should come over and

apologise for all, you know, that business with the

20 cents.

And I thought that, well, I'm sorry.

Yes, well, that's all very nice, but I'm just on my way out with a friend. It's

my birthday and I'm going out to lunch.

It's your birthday.

For he's a jolly good fellow.

For he's a jolly good fellow.

For he's a jolly good fellow.

And so say all of us. And so say all of us. And so say happy birthday, Mitchell.

Yes. I'm afraid. Oh, nice masks.

I'm afraid that you're going to have to leave. I'm already late.

Oh, no, no, please. please please Mitchell I think

I think now is the time to be honest you know to be frank I

think that we should both be frank now

problems.

I'm ready now!

Thank you.

your fault.

What are we going to do now?

We're going to have to break into Mitchell's flat and patch the wall from

side.

It appears apparently that he is not at his residence.

No, we knocked, but he is not at home, so let us go.

Yes. Oh, I did not see you there.

Hello. Hello.

Who are you?

We are Mitchell's neighbours. We were just dropping over to say hi.

And we were not trying to break in.

And who are you?

I'm Mitchell's sister.

I'm just dropping the cake over for tonight.

It's so exciting. We're having a surprise party.

Oh, he is not there.

Oh, that's all right. I've got a key.

You're going in there?

It's not easy, though, with all these locks and stuff. It's like foot knocks.

Nice to meet you.

Well, it's over.

Come on, Carl.

Well, we may as well just get out now.

I don't think we should give up.

Listen, we've got to get straight back up on that horse again.

I reckon we've still got a chance.

Come on, Carl.

I don't know, Frank.

We gave it our best, but I don't think our best was good enough.

And I think we'll have to move out.

Well, maybe it's time we found separate places.

Oh, there must be some way out of this mess.

Oh, yeah.

What are we going to do? Make the hole big enough for both of us to fit

Patch the hole from Mitchell's side and just let ourselves out?

That's actually a really good idea.

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, but you would be sarcastic then.

I wasn't.

myself but that is the best patching job you will ever see alrighty let's go

problem

yes my little matey it's deadlock and we're locked in

in jail.

I don't want to go to jail.

This is all your fault.

You've always been a bad influence on me.

You're a lawbreaker. You're uncontrollable.

Like at school, you hit that cricket ball up on the roof, and what did you

You climbed up onto the roof, and you got it down.

Yeah, so?

You were meant to get a teacher, or at the very least, permission.

But don't you, because you're a maniac.

Psycho!

I'll run next door and call the fire brigade, okay?

Thank you.

Thank you. No problems.

It's all right. We've managed to contain the fire in that one flat.

There's been no real structural damage, but the inside is completely gutted.

Mr. Wilson, Mr.

Wilson, Mr.

Wilson, we've been here for nine years.

It's my word, sure.

Well...

As my father always used to say...

Well...