Original subtitles

[Music]

[Music] foreign

thank you

thank you [Music]

no geez it must be swell working with

no geez it must be swell working with blades

blades

blades no you see I'm an accountant I I don't

no you see I'm an accountant I I don't

no you see I'm an accountant I I don't make I'm an account guys

good night Mr Holland can I guess say

good night Mr Holland can I guess say hello to Mrs Allen yes don't worry I

hello to Mrs Allen yes don't worry I

hello to Mrs Allen yes don't worry I won't forget the paper tomorrow night

won't forget the paper tomorrow night

won't forget the paper tomorrow night all right

all right

all right [Music]

[Music]

[Music] come on Walter

yeah

yeah we got poor tons

we got poor tons

we got poor tons hey mister how about your change

hey mister how about your change

hey mister how about your change investor ah you're a good boy that's so

investor ah you're a good boy that's so

investor ah you're a good boy that's so my mommy's told me but just wait a

my mommy's told me but just wait a

my mommy's told me but just wait a minute nah you're a good boy

minute nah you're a good boy

minute nah you're a good boy 25 bucks

25 bucks

25 bucks wow a dumb complain pal uh who's

wow a dumb complain pal uh who's

wow a dumb complain pal uh who's complaining

come on

come on um

[Music]

[Music] nice night for a big hot plate of

nice night for a big hot plate of

nice night for a big hot plate of spaghetti and meatballs

I stopped the Nazi bullet 45. yeah buddy

I stopped the Nazi bullet 45. yeah buddy you weren't the only one

you weren't the only one

you weren't the only one my wife ran off of my best friend

my wife ran off of my best friend

my wife ran off of my best friend I haven't eaten in five days

I haven't eaten in five days

I haven't eaten in five days you're a vet you know I started you want

you're a vet you know I started you want

you're a vet you know I started you want to do me a favor don't bother

to do me a favor don't bother

to do me a favor don't bother it's an old song yeah another hour

it's an old song yeah another hour

it's an old song yeah another hour listen

listen

listen [Music]

[Music]

[Music] you ever been down on your luck

you ever been down on your luck

you ever been down on your luck now I couldn't help overhearing if you

now I couldn't help overhearing if you

now I couldn't help overhearing if you don't want that cash I could sure use it

don't want that cash I could sure use it

don't want that cash I could sure use it but you've got to be kidding me you

but you've got to be kidding me you

but you've got to be kidding me you could use it but you don't think I've

could use it but you don't think I've

could use it but you don't think I've got the imagination to know how to spend

got the imagination to know how to spend

got the imagination to know how to spend it oh yeah but I've got a kid's sister

it oh yeah but I've got a kid's sister

it oh yeah but I've got a kid's sister she needs a an operation for pink eye

she needs a an operation for pink eye

she needs a an operation for pink eye pink eye

pink eye

pink eye shooters

shooters

shooters hey buddy you want to watch the back

hey buddy you want to watch the back

hey buddy you want to watch the back wheel

wheel

wheel wouldn't want to give you any more

wouldn't want to give you any more

wouldn't want to give you any more problems than you've already got

perfect you get the hat and I get to go

perfect you get the hat and I get to go home

home

home ah come on hey maybe you can sell it

ah come on hey maybe you can sell it

ah come on hey maybe you can sell it back to him

applesauce we're having pork chops and

applesauce we're having pork chops and sauerkraut pork chops

sauerkraut pork chops

sauerkraut pork chops surprised they might have a macaroni

surprised they might have a macaroni

surprised they might have a macaroni again

God damn it Lillian I knew you were

God damn it Lillian I knew you were gonna do that every Saturday morning

gonna do that every Saturday morning

gonna do that every Saturday morning standing in front of that store window

standing in front of that store window

standing in front of that store window with your tongue hanging out

with your tongue hanging out

with your tongue hanging out now I know I gotta keep my eye on you

I mean where do you think you're gonna

I mean where do you think you're gonna wear those things

I think they're pretty

I think they're pretty I suppose now I gotta check what's at

I suppose now I gotta check what's at

I suppose now I gotta check what's at the bottom of the shopping bags huh

you need your money to go down to

you need your money to go down to tatty's bar on Friday hey

tatty's bar on Friday hey

tatty's bar on Friday hey hey do I give you the change to buy this

hey do I give you the change to buy this

hey do I give you the change to buy this ridiculous romance novels and change for

ridiculous romance novels and change for

ridiculous romance novels and change for uh for lipstick for nail those magazines

uh for lipstick for nail those magazines

uh for lipstick for nail those magazines I mean do I or do I not give you the

I mean do I or do I not give you the

I mean do I or do I not give you the money

money

money what

are they doing all night don't forget to

are they doing all night don't forget to picture shows well and that's who

picture shows well and that's who

picture shows well and that's who I need a drink

I need a drink

I need a drink that's where Leon is on Friday right

certainly is

certainly is and on Monday and Tuesday Wednesday well

and on Monday and Tuesday Wednesday well

and on Monday and Tuesday Wednesday well how would you like it if I was down

how would you like it if I was down

how would you like it if I was down there every night I mean that'd be just

there every night I mean that'd be just

there every night I mean that'd be just swell wouldn't it I guess so what you

swell wouldn't it I guess so what you

swell wouldn't it I guess so what you want to put that out dinner's gonna get

want to put that out dinner's gonna get

want to put that out dinner's gonna get cold

so uh where did you get the money if it

so uh where did you get the money if it wasn't grocery money I have some money

wasn't grocery money I have some money

wasn't grocery money I have some money on my own

I wish you wouldn't do that makes me

I wish you wouldn't do that makes me seasick

seasick

seasick where you going milk

so where did you get the money for the

so where did you get the money for the shoes

shoes

shoes to remember mother left us some money

to remember mother left us some money

to remember mother left us some money when Daddy died I put that money in the

when Daddy died I put that money in the

when Daddy died I put that money in the bank not all of it what

bank not all of it what

bank not all of it what what's the big idea

what are you doing

what are you doing uh somebody was at the milk again last

uh somebody was at the milk again last

uh somebody was at the milk again last night what

night what

night what all right okay that's it that is the

all right okay that's it that is the

all right okay that's it that is the fifth time in two weeks nobody puts

fifth time in two weeks nobody puts

fifth time in two weeks nobody puts their ugly lips around my bottle of milk

their ugly lips around my bottle of milk

their ugly lips around my bottle of milk and gets away with it God damn it God

and gets away with it God damn it God

and gets away with it God damn it God damn it Lillian

sorry Harlan

sorry Harlan I guess I'm just not a nice person

I guess I'm just not a nice person

I guess I'm just not a nice person [Music]

your coffee and keep me company while I

your coffee and keep me company while I eat

eat

eat [Music]

nobody gets in that Lobby door after

nobody gets in that Lobby door after midnight the Milkman comes between 5 15

midnight the Milkman comes between 5 15

midnight the Milkman comes between 5 15 and 6 15 like clockwork long egg it gets

and 6 15 like clockwork long egg it gets

and 6 15 like clockwork long egg it gets in at seven but he doesn't unlock the

in at seven but he doesn't unlock the

in at seven but he doesn't unlock the goddamn door delay

goddamn door delay

goddamn door delay huh

well the

well the Jesus Christ figure it out Lillian it's

Jesus Christ figure it out Lillian it's

Jesus Christ figure it out Lillian it's one of our neighbors

one of our neighbors

one of our neighbors Harlan you're so suspicious suspicious

Harlan you're so suspicious suspicious

Harlan you're so suspicious suspicious I'm suspicious

did you ever uh stop to think

did you ever uh stop to think that it just might be one of the

that it just might be one of the

that it just might be one of the Contessa's cats

no no goddamn cats got a tongue that

no no goddamn cats got a tongue that long

long

long crochet

crochet

crochet what

what

what you notified the Milkman I talked to

you notified the Milkman I talked to

you notified the Milkman I talked to Larry about it his name is Lawrence

Larry about it his name is Lawrence

Larry about it his name is Lawrence you know maybe a few and the other wives

you know maybe a few and the other wives

you know maybe a few and the other wives in this house uh would call them by his

in this house uh would call them by his

in this house uh would call them by his real name maybe he'd do a better job

real name maybe he'd do a better job

real name maybe he'd do a better job around here

around here

around here he's a nice man Harlan give him a break

he's a nice man Harlan give him a break

he's a nice man Harlan give him a break he is a lousy super and his name is

he is a lousy super and his name is

he is a lousy super and his name is Lawrence longacon now that's it Harlan

Lawrence longacon now that's it Harlan

Lawrence longacon now that's it Harlan please let's just forget about the mill

please let's just forget about the mill

please let's just forget about the mill there doesn't seem to be any way of

there doesn't seem to be any way of

there doesn't seem to be any way of stopping it I mean you should call him

stopping it I mean you should call him

stopping it I mean you should call him Mr look what

Mr look what

Mr look what the milk it'll stop let's just ignore it

the milk it'll stop let's just ignore it

the milk it'll stop let's just ignore it there's no way of stopping oh yes there

there's no way of stopping oh yes there

there's no way of stopping oh yes there is

is

is and I am gonna get that son of a

and I'm going to tell you something

and I'm going to tell you something Lillian I'm gonna stop that son of a

Lillian I'm gonna stop that son of a

[Music]

[Music] teddies where else

[Music]

[Music] foreign

[Music]

[Music] [Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] [Music]

foreign

foreign [Music]

[Music]

[Music] [Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] [Music]

I was only seen you wear twice

I was only seen you wear twice once last Christmas

once last Christmas

once last Christmas and once the Easter mom tug and Butch

and once the Easter mom tug and Butch

and once the Easter mom tug and Butch came over

yeah well I'm wearing it now aren't I

yeah well I'm wearing it now aren't I well no thanks to your old lady

what are you doing just

what are you doing just wait a minute

you gotta look twice to see this stuff

you gotta look twice to see this stuff especially out in that hallway but it's

especially out in that hallway but it's

especially out in that hallway but it's strong

strong

strong you know cut the skin if you pull it

you know cut the skin if you pull it

you know cut the skin if you pull it tight

one good jerk on this and I got that

one good jerk on this and I got that jerk

honey

honey what

what

what turn on the light

turn on the light

turn on the light [Music]

[Music]

[Music] okay

okay

okay [Music]

[Music]

[Music] thank you

thank you

thank you that's funny isn't it

that's funny isn't it

that's funny isn't it now that's goddamned impossible I'd say

was that hard

was that hard oh Jesus

oh now uh

oh now uh now tomorrow night Lillian

now tomorrow night Lillian

now tomorrow night Lillian Lillian won't leave the goddamn bedroom

Lillian won't leave the goddamn bedroom

Lillian won't leave the goddamn bedroom will she low

uh you get my message

uh you get my message you promise never to call me that yeah

you promise never to call me that yeah

you promise never to call me that yeah well I don't want to talk about that

I mean I pay for your things right

I mean I pay for your things right well don't I

talk like you picked me up off the

talk like you picked me up off the street yeah well maybe

look I uh

look I uh I gotta get the train

your world is still a little bit left Mr

your world is still a little bit left Mr Larry and my smart man will be as bright

Larry and my smart man will be as bright

Larry and my smart man will be as bright as yours quite soon

as yours quite soon

as yours quite soon well what can I do for you

believe Larry

believe Larry well when I was eight my dog rabbit came

well when I was eight my dog rabbit came

well when I was eight my dog rabbit came home after being lost for three weeks

home after being lost for three weeks

home after being lost for three weeks a dog named rabbit

how clear

how clear he was all white

are visiting me for the weekend

are visiting me for the weekend that's truly a miracle

that's truly a miracle

that's truly a miracle and I thought they were here last Friday

and I thought they were here last Friday

and I thought they were here last Friday to Mr Larry

to Mr Larry

to Mr Larry I forgot that their vessel was waylaid

I forgot that their vessel was waylaid

I forgot that their vessel was waylaid in in Havana oh yeah now I remember how

in in Havana oh yeah now I remember how

in in Havana oh yeah now I remember how stupid

stupid

stupid but then you do recall

but then you do recall

but then you do recall well that's your business up and down in

well that's your business up and down in

well that's your business up and down in the hallways from morning till night

the hallways from morning till night

the hallways from morning till night shall we celebrate their imminent

shall we celebrate their imminent

shall we celebrate their imminent arrival Mr Larry with some champagne and

arrival Mr Larry with some champagne and

arrival Mr Larry with some champagne and perhaps some baklava

perhaps some baklava

perhaps some baklava well I just finished my salami and

well I just finished my salami and

well I just finished my salami and cheese

cheese

cheese but if you'd like me to roll a carpet

[Music]

[Music] about his lives before

about his lives before

about his lives before in the distant places the emperor took

in the distant places the emperor took

in the distant places the emperor took me to hi come have coffee I just made

me to hi come have coffee I just made

me to hi come have coffee I just made bread pudding too shall we

[Music]

[Music] all right and this is the layout of my

all right and this is the layout of my

all right and this is the layout of my house

here's the setup

here's the setup decoy bottle in the hole string or well

decoy bottle in the hole string or well

decoy bottle in the hole string or well full of course string around the neck

full of course string around the neck

full of course string around the neck okay the string goes around the door

okay the string goes around the door

okay the string goes around the door through the kitchen avoiding all

through the kitchen avoiding all

through the kitchen avoiding all obstacles

obstacles

obstacles see this is very important avoiding any

see this is very important avoiding any

see this is very important avoiding any obstacles huh okay through the kitchen

obstacles huh okay through the kitchen

obstacles huh okay through the kitchen through the living room

through the living room

through the living room into the bedroom

into the bedroom

into the bedroom where I got the string tied around my

where I got the string tied around my

where I got the string tied around my finger like this and you better believe

finger like this and you better believe

finger like this and you better believe it can hurt when you jerk it because

it can hurt when you jerk it because

it can hurt when you jerk it because this stuff is used for fishing huh right

this stuff is used for fishing huh right

this stuff is used for fishing huh right okay now

okay now

okay now this son of a

this son of a

this son of a excuse the language Evelyn but I mean

excuse the language Evelyn but I mean

excuse the language Evelyn but I mean this thing has really got me pretty sore

this thing has really got me pretty sore

this thing has really got me pretty sore anyway where was it uh

anyway where was it uh

anyway where was it uh I wait for the Milkman right mcgillica

I wait for the Milkman right mcgillica

I wait for the Milkman right mcgillica Dairy guy comes and then you see this

Dairy guy comes and then you see this

Dairy guy comes and then you see this guy's been sneaking out and there goes

guy's been sneaking out and there goes

guy's been sneaking out and there goes my milk but now

my milk but now

my milk but now he picks up the bun jerking the string

he picks up the bun jerking the string

he picks up the bun jerking the string jerking my finger and I get out there

jerking my finger and I get out there

jerking my finger and I get out there and I nail them

well that's it

well that's it that's it for that son of a too

that's it for that son of a too

that's it for that son of a too it's like a detective story

it's like a detective story

it's like a detective story Evelyn I think you're beginning to get

Evelyn I think you're beginning to get

Evelyn I think you're beginning to get the idea

the idea

the idea and if the Milkman leaves another bottle

and if the Milkman leaves another bottle

and if the Milkman leaves another bottle how do you know the culprit will take

how do you know the culprit will take

how do you know the culprit will take the right one

there's only two things I really care

there's only two things I really care about

matineese on Friday with you and my

matineese on Friday with you and my flowers

you know one of these days all the

you know one of these days all the movies are going to be on television

yeah

yeah well I guess I better get going

well I guess I better get going

well I guess I better get going how to Marry a Millionaire with Betty

how to Marry a Millionaire with Betty

how to Marry a Millionaire with Betty Bacall and Marilyn Monroe

Bacall and Marilyn Monroe

Bacall and Marilyn Monroe [Music]

[Music]

[Music] um

I don't think I'll be able to go next

I don't think I'll be able to go next Friday

Friday

Friday I I bought the red shoes

will be on me

will be on me thanks Larry

thanks Larry

thanks Larry pleasure was all mine

pleasure was all mine

pleasure was all mine [Music]

don't forget if I fall asleep if you get

don't forget if I fall asleep if you get a Milkman get me away

Lillian

Lillian yes Harlan I'm here get me awake but

yes Harlan I'm here get me awake but

yes Harlan I'm here get me awake but don't make any noise now you got that

don't make any noise now you got that

don't make any noise now you got that it's very important

it's very important

it's very important I'm right here yeah but that's not what

I'm right here yeah but that's not what

I'm right here yeah but that's not what I asked you

just a bottle of milk

just a bottle of milk you think it's just a bottle of milk huh

you think it's just a bottle of milk huh

you think it's just a bottle of milk huh truly well it's more than a goddamn

truly well it's more than a goddamn

truly well it's more than a goddamn bottle of milk I can't sleep

bottle of milk I can't sleep

bottle of milk I can't sleep why bother

why bother

why bother every night keeping me and my wife awake

is your wife I'm talking about my life

is your wife I'm talking about my life you son of a

seen you you never go out you never take

seen you you never go out you never take your wife out I've never seen your

your wife out I've never seen your

your wife out I've never seen your ticket

okay you punk

okay you punk I'm gonna give you some more come on

I'm gonna give you some more come on

I'm gonna give you some more come on get out of here

get out of here

get out of here get up

get up

get up okay get up take the goddamn milk and

okay get up take the goddamn milk and

okay get up take the goddamn milk and get out of here

get out of here

get out of here hey look I'm talking to you

hey look I'm talking to you

hey look I'm talking to you [Music]

[Music]

[Music] [Applause]

thank you

thank you [Music]

laughs

laughs [Music]

[Music]

[Music] foreign

my God

my God [Music]

[Music]

[Music] [Applause]

foreign

foreign [Music]

then how comfy out here bubbling away I

then how comfy out here bubbling away I keep it just below boil

damn ah don't worry about that

damn ah don't worry about that sit down here and tell me about the

sit down here and tell me about the

sit down here and tell me about the weather

too much

too much and then nothing

I guess you just have to blow on it

I guess you just have to blow on it okay

thank you

thank you laughs

[Music]

[Music] [Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] [Music]

[Music]

[Music] pudding

what

what sorry didn't mean to say the magic word

sorry didn't mean to say the magic word

sorry didn't mean to say the magic word but I love bread pudding look we're

but I love bread pudding look we're

but I love bread pudding look we're moving

moving

moving going to Teaneck now I've had it with

going to Teaneck now I've had it with

going to Teaneck now I've had it with this hellhole and I want you to start

this hellhole and I want you to start

this hellhole and I want you to start packing in the morning is this Mario's

packing in the morning is this Mario's

packing in the morning is this Mario's doing when are you gonna ask me Myers

doing when are you gonna ask me Myers

doing when are you gonna ask me Myers has got nothing to do with it

to buy a car now too

to buy a car now too what about our precious five-year lease

what about our precious five-year lease

what about our precious five-year lease you have all sewed up all right so

you have all sewed up all right so

you have all sewed up all right so there's two left

there's two left

there's two left look

look

look honey admitted I mean this place isn't

honey admitted I mean this place isn't

honey admitted I mean this place isn't good enough for us anymore Jesus Harlan

good enough for us anymore Jesus Harlan

good enough for us anymore Jesus Harlan I tried to make it nice

I tried to make it nice

I tried to make it nice the bedroom's practically brand new it's

the bedroom's practically brand new it's

the bedroom's practically brand new it's a year old so is everything I have to

a year old so is everything I have to

a year old so is everything I have to please don't start balling I have

please don't start balling I have

please don't start balling I have friends here I like the grocer like that

friends here I like the grocer like that

friends here I like the grocer like that thing bad Contessa woman just because

thing bad Contessa woman just because

thing bad Contessa woman just because you haven't taken the time to get to

you haven't taken the time to get to

you haven't taken the time to get to know any of our neighbors I'm calling

know any of our neighbors I'm calling

know any of our neighbors I'm calling the van now do the goddamn dishes and

the van now do the goddamn dishes and

the van now do the goddamn dishes and start packing now there's no sense

start packing now there's no sense

start packing now there's no sense putting this off no Harlan you do the

putting this off no Harlan you do the

putting this off no Harlan you do the goddamn dishes and start packing I'm

goddamn dishes and start packing I'm

goddamn dishes and start packing I'm going downstairs and talk to Larry find

going downstairs and talk to Larry find

going downstairs and talk to Larry find out about this lease don't test me

out about this lease don't test me

out about this lease don't test me Lillian do not test me

Lillian do not test me

Lillian do not test me damn it I know what the least the

damn it I know what the least the

damn it I know what the least the goddamn stupid lease

that

that [Music]

[Music]

[Music] but she's not

this is impossible

this is impossible there's got to be a way

Mr Holland your coffee Mr Myers asked me

Mr Holland your coffee Mr Myers asked me to please see to the ball bearing

to please see to the ball bearing

to please see to the ball bearing account yeah yeah

no are you all right

no are you all right God Holland are you okay should I get

God Holland are you okay should I get

God Holland are you okay should I get the nurse is it your heart no God damn

the nurse is it your heart no God damn

the nurse is it your heart no God damn it

it

it just to clean up the slop look I told

just to clean up the slop look I told

just to clean up the slop look I told you this morning I don't take milk

you this morning I don't take milk

you this morning I don't take milk anymore what the hell is everybody

anymore what the hell is everybody

anymore what the hell is everybody around here in amnesiac or something

around here in amnesiac or something

around here in amnesiac or something and the name is Mr Heartland

and the name is Mr Heartland

and the name is Mr Heartland there's no reason to get familiar

there's no reason to get familiar

there's no reason to get familiar because you think I'm having some son of

because you think I'm having some son of

because you think I'm having some son of a and heart attack

look please just just

look please just just clean up the slop I got work

clean up the slop I got work

clean up the slop I got work maybe I'd better call the nurse just in

maybe I'd better call the nurse just in

maybe I'd better call the nurse just in case now forget it I'm working look see

case now forget it I'm working look see

case now forget it I'm working look see how I'm back at work

well what might be the problem is to

well what might be the problem is to honor well it's got nothing to do with

honor well it's got nothing to do with

honor well it's got nothing to do with you or anybody for that matter you see

you or anybody for that matter you see

you or anybody for that matter you see it's it's just that me and Mrs Harlan

it's it's just that me and Mrs Harlan

it's it's just that me and Mrs Harlan I mean there Comes A Time in a man's

I mean there Comes A Time in a man's

I mean there Comes A Time in a man's life you know when he thinks about

life you know when he thinks about

life you know when he thinks about passing on his own mortality the Bible

passing on his own mortality the Bible

passing on his own mortality the Bible says he who throws his seed upon the

says he who throws his seed upon the

says he who throws his seed upon the ground will reap the fruit of um

ground will reap the fruit of um

ground will reap the fruit of um what is it in in infertility like that I

what is it in in infertility like that I

what is it in in infertility like that I mean words to that effect but you know

mean words to that effect but you know

mean words to that effect but you know what I mean

I'm trying to say is that a lawn is a

I'm trying to say is that a lawn is a lawn you know and and a uh a streets of

lawn you know and and a uh a streets of

lawn you know and and a uh a streets of street with cars with cars tell them

street with cars with cars tell them

street with cars with cars tell them that

that

that see the way she behaves yeah I certainly

see the way she behaves yeah I certainly

see the way she behaves yeah I certainly you've noticed

you've noticed

you've noticed contest is mad for you

and she gives me the creeps

and she gives me the creeps have you ever had a conversation with

have you ever had a conversation with

have you ever had a conversation with her well now don't tell me you can

her well now don't tell me you can

her well now don't tell me you can understand what she's talking about yeah

understand what she's talking about yeah

understand what she's talking about yeah somewhere along the line something

somewhere along the line something

somewhere along the line something somebody knocked all the furniture over

somebody knocked all the furniture over

somebody knocked all the furniture over upstairs yeah

upstairs yeah

upstairs yeah anyway but what

oh yeah she's nuts now listen well it

oh yeah she's nuts now listen well it reminds me I've got to get to work on

reminds me I've got to get to work on

reminds me I've got to get to work on this apartment paint the place hang a

this apartment paint the place hang a

this apartment paint the place hang a door landlord's got some folks coming

door landlord's got some folks coming

door landlord's got some folks coming around this weekend

around this weekend

around this weekend what does

what does

what does can you let me know if I'm bothering you

can you let me know if I'm bothering you

can you let me know if I'm bothering you or Mrs Holland

yeah sure

yeah sure yeah

yeah

yeah yeah

the landlord's coming by at eight

the landlord's coming by at eight o'clock to straighten this thing out

o'clock to straighten this thing out

o'clock to straighten this thing out I ain't got to go out

I ain't got to go out

I ain't got to go out am I gonna tell him tell him I had to go

am I gonna tell him tell him I had to go

am I gonna tell him tell him I had to go to the hospital because I made an

to the hospital because I made an

to the hospital because I made an appointment for a checkup

you know how fast it hit Daddy

you know how fast it hit Daddy the most important test for your heart

the most important test for your heart

the most important test for your heart is that little black thing with the dial

[Music]

[Music] foreign

foreign

foreign [Music]

I know that Harry now listen

I know that Harry now listen Lillian's and my it's our anniversary

Lillian's and my it's our anniversary

Lillian's and my it's our anniversary tonight right seven years tonight I'm

tonight right seven years tonight I'm

tonight right seven years tonight I'm like I was supposed to think about that

like I was supposed to think about that

like I was supposed to think about that then could you please I you can't give

then could you please I you can't give

then could you please I you can't give me a bottle off the shelf I know that

me a bottle off the shelf I know that

me a bottle off the shelf I know that but I know you did you drink the same

but I know you did you drink the same

but I know you did you drink the same stuff that I do and you've got a bottle

stuff that I do and you've got a bottle

stuff that I do and you've got a bottle Seagram's you gotta find a sequence

Seagram's you gotta find a sequence

Seagram's you gotta find a sequence under this bar is that right Harry am I

under this bar is that right Harry am I

under this bar is that right Harry am I right or wrong yeah yeah

right or wrong yeah yeah

right or wrong yeah yeah so what I want to buy it

so what I want to buy it

so what I want to buy it I tell you what you get your ass out of

I tell you what you get your ass out of

I tell you what you get your ass out of here you can have it

here you can have it

here you can have it you won't let me buy it no it's a deal

you won't let me buy it no it's a deal

you won't let me buy it no it's a deal right put it in a in a you know tell you

right put it in a in a you know tell you

right put it in a in a you know tell you what I'm gonna do you put it in your

what I'm gonna do you put it in your

what I'm gonna do you put it in your coat I don't have bags all right all

coat I don't have bags all right all

coat I don't have bags all right all right you're not gonna let me pay for it

right you're not gonna let me pay for it

right you're not gonna let me pay for it right no

right no

right no just tell the lady it's on me okay well

just tell the lady it's on me okay well

just tell the lady it's on me okay well this is a tip just don't argue with it

this is a tip just don't argue with it

this is a tip just don't argue with it she's a nice girl I I

she's a nice girl I I

she's a nice girl I I should treat her nice yeah

should treat her nice yeah

should treat her nice yeah now listen you keep this

now listen you keep this

now listen you keep this Harry

Harry

Harry that's a tip

that's a tip

that's a tip tips I need okay okay

tips I need okay okay

tips I need okay okay I'll see you uh

I'll see you uh

I'll see you uh no fishes no yes I see you oh Harry no

no fishes no yes I see you oh Harry no

no fishes no yes I see you oh Harry no really here you go I want to go home

really here you go I want to go home

really here you go I want to go home last call was a half an hour ago Harry

last call was a half an hour ago Harry

last call was a half an hour ago Harry okay what a friend's fool

let's go

let's go [Music]

foreign

foreign [Music]

[Music]

[Music] foreign

who washed herself a lot of cheap

who washed herself a lot of cheap perfume

hey Lillian

hey Lillian hey Lillian

you look like a belly dancer

you look like a belly dancer yeah

yeah

yeah what are you gonna do about it sailor

I've heard some men can't face their

I've heard some men can't face their lives without a drink

lives without a drink

lives without a drink I'll let somebody gonna beat this

I'll let somebody gonna beat this

I'll let somebody gonna beat this stinking cold

stinking cold

stinking cold some men wouldn't be out walking around

some men wouldn't be out walking around

some men wouldn't be out walking around in the cold if they had something better

in the cold if they had something better

in the cold if they had something better to do

I have a drink you're gonna need an ice

I have a drink you're gonna need an ice bag in the morning screw in the morning

bag in the morning screw in the morning

bag in the morning screw in the morning what about me

I got a second pee is that all it's good

I got a second pee is that all it's good for

for

for first of all this messy kissing

first of all this messy kissing

first of all this messy kissing 100 kids like the lady

100 kids like the lady

100 kids like the lady why don't you go sleep in the bathtub

why don't you go sleep in the bathtub

why don't you go sleep in the bathtub well you learned how to do in the Navy

well you learned how to do in the Navy

well you learned how to do in the Navy was wash behind your ears

you know

you know I think I'm constipated

and behaving yourself all right hello

and behaving yourself all right hello okay March I lost you heard me Billy

okay March I lost you heard me Billy

okay March I lost you heard me Billy come on I was taking somebody about it

come on I was taking somebody about it

come on I was taking somebody about it excuse me excuse me sir could you direct

excuse me excuse me sir could you direct

excuse me excuse me sir could you direct us to 3E the available apartment no no

us to 3E the available apartment no no

us to 3E the available apartment no no no see you must have the wrong building

no see you must have the wrong building

no see you must have the wrong building 424 Montgomery Avenue Apartment 3E no no

424 Montgomery Avenue Apartment 3E no no

424 Montgomery Avenue Apartment 3E no no no look you want 429 seats across the

no look you want 429 seats across the

no look you want 429 seats across the street it's a tall brick building across

street it's a tall brick building across

street it's a tall brick building across now you just no you go right back then

that's it of yours oh my God is no

that's it of yours oh my God is no bigger than a thumbnails catch

bigger than a thumbnails catch

bigger than a thumbnails catch catch fresh green door over there

look there are no problems available in

look there are no problems available in this building I'm telling you that's

this building I'm telling you that's

this building I'm telling you that's worth a try

worth a try

worth a try tell the super told me just yesterday

tell the super told me just yesterday

tell the super told me just yesterday that he had rented this is pretty sure

that he had rented this is pretty sure

that he had rented this is pretty sure this is too small for all of you anyway

this is too small for all of you anyway

this is too small for all of you anyway it's just

it's okay on and I'll take care of this

it's okay on and I'll take care of this time

time

time Mr and Mrs Lewis been pretty busy I see

Mr and Mrs Lewis been pretty busy I see

Mr and Mrs Lewis been pretty busy I see oh wow you might say that yeah but the

oh wow you might say that yeah but the

oh wow you might say that yeah but the money we'll have a look okay okay

[Music]

[Music] about Jesus

about Jesus

about Jesus [Music]

so then then then this other guy comes

so then then then this other guy comes walking in off the street you know we're

walking in off the street you know we're

walking in off the street you know we're gonna get laid in and he goes up to the

gonna get laid in and he goes up to the

gonna get laid in and he goes up to the desk and he says uh I missed her

desk and he says uh I missed her

desk and he says uh I missed her Mister your sign fell down

Mister your sign fell down

Mister your sign fell down huh

huh

huh sign fell down

but her little Red roosterone Crow for

but her little Red roosterone Crow for you

wasn't that bad

wasn't that bad it was pretty bad

there's a lady to see you Mr Holland

there's a lady to see you Mr Holland but look up I'm gonna uh I gotta stay

but look up I'm gonna uh I gotta stay

but look up I'm gonna uh I gotta stay late tonight

late tonight

late tonight later than the janitor even but it's

later than the janitor even but it's

later than the janitor even but it's Friday Mr Harlan nobody expects you to

Friday Mr Harlan nobody expects you to

Friday Mr Harlan nobody expects you to catch up on a Friday oh yeah the

catch up on a Friday oh yeah the

catch up on a Friday oh yeah the almighty dollar that's all they care

almighty dollar that's all they care

almighty dollar that's all they care about

about

about your lady friend's waiting shall I show

your lady friend's waiting shall I show

your lady friend's waiting shall I show her in uh and Miss see

her in uh and Miss see

her in uh and Miss see oh she's very nice

oh she's very nice

oh she's very nice she has an accent I don't know anybody

she has an accent I don't know anybody

she has an accent I don't know anybody named Kafka now please just tell it

named Kafka now please just tell it

named Kafka now please just tell it right later and she can hear us right

right later and she can hear us right

right later and she can hear us right now

now

now tell her I left

I know

I know I know how much you suffer

oh my God

oh my God please

please

please please excuse this went in violation of

please excuse this went in violation of

please excuse this went in violation of your privacy business

from now on

from now on in my life

Mr Larry I sweet Jesus

Mr Larry I sweet Jesus well oh my God londondorf he was 12 to

well oh my God londondorf he was 12 to

well oh my God londondorf he was 12 to understand

consider My Confession

consider My Confession a way out

a way out

a way out we're gonna see

we're gonna see

we're gonna see sleeping memories

please please don't go out the Gated

please please don't go out the Gated Skype please

[Laughter]

[Laughter] have a drink

have a drink

have a drink no glass

no glass

no glass [Laughter]

Contessa

Contessa uh Miss

see my life savings are stuck in that

see my life savings are stuck in that hell hole my apartment

hell hole my apartment

hell hole my apartment have you ever been to Los Angeles

no that's uh

no that's uh the Gold city of Lost Angels uh yeah

the Gold city of Lost Angels uh yeah

the Gold city of Lost Angels uh yeah would you like to take a little trip

would you like to take a little trip

would you like to take a little trip there

and

and and the Lily woman

remind me to get this damn thing faced

remind me to get this damn thing faced before those people come at 8 o'clock

what are we gonna do about this

what are we gonna do about this situation

situation

situation you're gonna tell the Contessa to cook

you're gonna tell the Contessa to cook

you're gonna tell the Contessa to cook with their window open

wow I'm gonna bleach my hair blonde like

wow I'm gonna bleach my hair blonde like Marilyn Monroe

Marilyn Monroe

Marilyn Monroe and you're gonna get a job in Lake

and you're gonna get a job in Lake

and you're gonna get a job in Lake Pocono

Pocono

Pocono and we're gonna have a bungalow and a

and we're gonna have a bungalow and a

and we're gonna have a bungalow and a canoe a wooden one not one of those

canoe a wooden one not one of those

canoe a wooden one not one of those metal jobs by the aircraft company

metal jobs by the aircraft company

metal jobs by the aircraft company whatever you say

[Music]

[Music] thank you

I'm converting to a Catholic

I'm converting to a Catholic like your mother Lillian

oh well now

oh well now you're already pretty blonde

you're already pretty blonde

you're already pretty blonde [Music]

[Music]

[Music] what a lovely call

oh that's nice

oh that's nice [Music]

[Music]

[Music] you know

you know

you know I think you should have a corsage

I think you should have a corsage

I think you should have a corsage but on Sunday when we go to see the

but on Sunday when we go to see the

but on Sunday when we go to see the priest listen I'm gonna uh

priest listen I'm gonna uh

priest listen I'm gonna uh call for other bread because I I gotta

call for other bread because I I gotta

call for other bread because I I gotta make a confession

make a confession

make a confession nobody makes confession over the

nobody makes confession over the

nobody makes confession over the telephone

I want you to have

I want you to have I don't want everything all I want is a

I don't want everything all I want is a

I don't want everything all I want is a man who loves me treats me nice oh God

man who loves me treats me nice oh God

man who loves me treats me nice oh God Lily

Lily

Lily let me just

let me just

let me just let me hold you huh

let me hold you huh

let me hold you huh like

like

like like when you were a little girl

like when you were a little girl

like when you were a little girl [Music]

well there you have it Contessa

well there you have it Contessa it looks real grand

Mr Larry oh it's beautiful

Mr Larry oh it's beautiful I guess now you're all set

I guess now you're all set

I guess now you're all set all right

all right

all right Mr Mrs florescue

I'm Janet

I'm Janet I'm surround here call me Larry

madame

madame you see I knew it

you see I knew it

you see I knew it foreign

[Music]

[Music] foreign

oh peep

oh peep boopy

don't you think there's one thing we

don't you think there's one thing we ought to take care of

ought to take care of

ought to take care of I can only think one thing

I can only think one thing

I can only think one thing I think I'm not strong enough

I think I'm not strong enough

I think I'm not strong enough well

well

well when you get tired I'll take over

when you get tired I'll take over

when you get tired I'll take over I haven't carried you over the threshold

I haven't carried you over the threshold

I haven't carried you over the threshold yet

yet

yet Oh Daddy you're so silly

this is what leave the stuff out in the

this is what leave the stuff out in the hall nobody's gonna bother with it let's

what about Mr Longley like he said it

what about Mr Longley like he said it just takes a few good raps with a hammer

just takes a few good raps with a hammer

just takes a few good raps with a hammer let's see right at the bottom right

let's see right at the bottom right

let's see right at the bottom right where the elevator opens

where the elevator opens

where the elevator opens the whole basement is the Boiler Room

the whole basement is the Boiler Room

the whole basement is the Boiler Room look

look

look if you want me to come which

if you want me to come which

if you want me to come which um

um

um no it's okay Alfie you get the stuff

no it's okay Alfie you get the stuff

no it's okay Alfie you get the stuff unpacked for the bathroom

can I just uh I lived on the

can I just uh I lived on the well I was walking by and I couldn't

well I was walking by and I couldn't

well I was walking by and I couldn't help over here that you

help over here that you

help over here that you needed a hammer

needed a hammer

needed a hammer damn bed stuck

I figured you could borrow mine

I figured you could borrow mine great maybe between the two of us we can

great maybe between the two of us we can

great maybe between the two of us we can practice safe

practice safe

practice safe Maybe

[Music]

[Music] thank you

thank you

thank you [Music]

thank you

thank you foreign

[Music]

[Music] foreign

[Music]

[Music] foreign

foreign

foreign [Music]