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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:01:07,610 --> 00:01:14,659 [classical music] 4 00:01:14,659 --> 00:01:15,827 On the way to the bus stop, 5 00:01:15,827 --> 00:01:18,413 Bill saw somebody he recognized walking towards him, 6 00:01:18,413 --> 00:01:19,789 but he couldn't remember his name. 7 00:01:19,789 --> 00:01:21,207 He began to think of things to say 8 00:01:21,207 --> 00:01:23,501 when they'd be close enough to acknowledge each other. 9 00:01:23,501 --> 00:01:25,545 As they drew nearer, their eyes locked, 10 00:01:25,545 --> 00:01:28,297 uncertain if the other was going to stop to talk. 11 00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:31,050 The person greeted Bill, as Bill mixed up the phrases, 12 00:01:31,050 --> 00:01:31,759 "Whats up?" 13 00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:33,386 with, "How's it going?" 14 00:01:33,386 --> 00:01:35,638 Confused, the person blurted out, 15 00:01:35,638 --> 00:01:38,182 "Thanks," before he knew what he was saying. 16 00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:41,144 Words caught in Bill's throat and he replied, 17 00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:42,520 "Weh." 18 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:44,522 They did a sort of awkward half-turn 19 00:01:44,522 --> 00:01:45,773 and then continued on, 20 00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:48,568 now confident that the other was not going to stop to talk. 21 00:01:48,568 --> 00:01:50,278 They never saw each other again, 22 00:01:50,278 --> 00:01:53,364 and a day later had each forgotten the whole thing. 23 00:01:53,364 --> 00:01:56,200 Later that night, Bill sat down and put on a big sweater 24 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,953 but it only made him sleepy. 25 00:01:58,953 --> 00:02:00,788 In the supermarket, Bill was always very careful 26 00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:03,750 to select fruit from only the back of the produce piles, 27 00:02:03,750 --> 00:02:05,585 as the fruit in the front was at crotch-level 28 00:02:05,585 --> 00:02:07,211 to the other customers. 29 00:02:10,715 --> 00:02:13,342 An old man who smelled of gasoline held up an onion 30 00:02:13,342 --> 00:02:16,471 and said, "Big onion," to no one in particular. 31 00:02:16,471 --> 00:02:19,307 He smiled at Bill and Bill looked at his socks. 32 00:02:19,307 --> 00:02:20,975 At the check-out counter, Bill found himself 33 00:02:20,975 --> 00:02:23,102 behind a big guy whose t-shirt read, 34 00:02:23,102 --> 00:02:25,938 "Second place is the first loser." 35 00:02:25,938 --> 00:02:28,900 The check-out girl said, "How are you doing today?" 36 00:02:28,900 --> 00:02:31,736 Bill said, "Fine thanks, how are you?" 37 00:02:31,736 --> 00:02:33,279 She didn't answer. 38 00:02:33,279 --> 00:02:35,198 Bill felt used. 39 00:02:35,198 --> 00:02:36,783 As he waited for his next bus, 40 00:02:36,783 --> 00:02:38,659 Bill stared at a torn shopping bag 41 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:41,454 that was blowing in the wind on the end of a broken pole, 42 00:02:41,454 --> 00:02:44,248 and anxiously sucked blood out of a sore in the corner 43 00:02:44,248 --> 00:02:45,249 of his mouth. 44 00:02:45,249 --> 00:02:55,248 [beautiful opera music] 45 00:02:55,301 --> 00:03:02,642 [beautiful opera music] 46 00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:22,453 Bill dropped his keys on the counter 47 00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:24,288 and stood there staring at them, 48 00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:25,832 suddenly thinking about all the times 49 00:03:25,832 --> 00:03:27,708 he'd thrown his keys there before... 50 00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,919 ...and how many days of his life were wasted... 51 00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:32,588 repeating the same tasks and rituals in his apartment, 52 00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:34,590 over and over again. 53 00:03:34,590 --> 00:03:37,510 But then he wondered if, realistically... 54 00:03:37,510 --> 00:03:39,554 this was his life... 55 00:03:39,554 --> 00:03:42,932 and the unusual part was his time spent doing other things. 56 00:03:49,689 --> 00:03:52,316 Bill sat down and read a celebrity interview. 57 00:03:52,316 --> 00:03:56,696 Then he watched the ants crawl around in his sink. 58 00:03:56,696 --> 00:03:58,322 [strange atmospheric sounds] 59 00:03:58,322 --> 00:04:01,158 That night, Bill dreamt of a monstrous fish head 60 00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:03,494 that fed upon his skull. 61 00:04:05,037 --> 00:04:11,460 [the fish gasps, ominously] 62 00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:12,670 In the morning, 63 00:04:12,670 --> 00:04:15,256 Bill felt really tired even though he'd just been sleeping. 64 00:04:15,256 --> 00:04:18,342 His calendar had a photo of a manatee on it for the month. 65 00:04:18,342 --> 00:04:19,510 It always seemed as though 66 00:04:19,510 --> 00:04:21,846 the manatee was staring at him. 67 00:04:21,846 --> 00:04:24,974 Bill sat in the living room with a giant box of crackers. 68 00:04:24,974 --> 00:04:26,809 He thought some food might help him get going, 69 00:04:26,809 --> 00:04:28,352 but felt kind of strange eating in front 70 00:04:28,352 --> 00:04:31,022 of the television without having it on. 71 00:04:31,022 --> 00:04:32,857 Pretty soon he was watching a boxing match 72 00:04:32,857 --> 00:04:34,358 on a Mexican channel. 73 00:04:34,358 --> 00:04:36,027 He'd been watching a lot of boxing lately 74 00:04:36,027 --> 00:04:38,237 but didn't really know why. 75 00:04:38,237 --> 00:04:40,531 In the 4th round there was an accidental head butt 76 00:04:40,531 --> 00:04:43,576 that split open one of the fighter's heads pretty badly. 77 00:04:43,576 --> 00:04:45,161 They showed it over and over again, 78 00:04:45,161 --> 00:04:47,371 in slow motion. 79 00:04:47,371 --> 00:04:48,289 Before he knew it, 80 00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:50,458 Bill had eaten the entire box of crackers. 81 00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:53,044 He felt really lousy and didn't want to get up. 82 00:04:53,044 --> 00:04:54,921 He had a sudden urge to talk to somebody, 83 00:04:54,921 --> 00:04:57,048 so Bill phoned his ex-girlfriend and told her 84 00:04:57,048 --> 00:04:59,634 about the manatee on his calendar. 85 00:04:59,634 --> 00:05:02,553 "Did you ever see the movie about the giant manatee 86 00:05:02,553 --> 00:05:05,723 that attacked a city?" she asked. 87 00:05:05,723 --> 00:05:09,060 "I think you mean giant mantis, said Bill. 88 00:05:09,060 --> 00:05:10,770 "Oh yeah", she said. 89 00:05:10,770 --> 00:05:13,898 "Giant mantis." 90 00:05:15,399 --> 00:05:18,778 The next morning, Bill felt even worse. 91 00:05:18,778 --> 00:05:21,322 Downtown, the hot smell of manure blew past him 92 00:05:21,322 --> 00:05:22,573 as he walked. 93 00:05:22,573 --> 00:05:25,368 Bill soon came upon three dead horses in the road, 94 00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:28,913 apparently struck down by a large moving vehicle. 95 00:05:28,913 --> 00:05:32,750 "Well," he thought, "that would explain the smell, then." 96 00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:34,710 [quiet acoustic guitar music] 97 00:05:34,710 --> 00:05:37,046 He met his ex-girlfriend during her lunch break 98 00:05:37,046 --> 00:05:39,757 and they took a walk to the park. 99 00:05:39,757 --> 00:05:41,801 He noticed that every time he was near her, 100 00:05:41,801 --> 00:05:45,137 she sort of moved away with a tight-lipped smile on her face, 101 00:05:45,137 --> 00:05:47,932 as though everything were ok. 102 00:05:47,932 --> 00:05:49,809 Mostly they talked about death. 103 00:05:49,809 --> 00:05:52,812 They agreed that being buried seemed too claustrophobic, 104 00:05:52,812 --> 00:05:54,271 and Bill didn't want to be cremated 105 00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:56,565 after he'd read that the intense heat boils fluids 106 00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:58,943 in the skull until your head explodes. 107 00:05:58,943 --> 00:06:01,070 He decided that he'd want his body shot off 108 00:06:01,070 --> 00:06:03,322 into space in a rocket ship. 109 00:06:03,322 --> 00:06:05,157 He figured it'd be too expensive to launch 110 00:06:05,157 --> 00:06:07,576 the weight of his entire body, but maybe just sending 111 00:06:07,576 --> 00:06:09,954 his head into space would be good enough, 112 00:06:09,954 --> 00:06:12,456 preferably in front of a little window. 113 00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:14,750 His-ex girlfriend said she'd be really creeped out 114 00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:17,253 if she knew Bill's severed head was floating around 115 00:06:17,253 --> 00:06:18,671 above her in space. 116 00:06:19,463 --> 00:06:20,881 Bill was given a new booklet 117 00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,800 at the clinic, discussing potential memory loss 118 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:23,801 in his treatment. 119 00:06:23,801 --> 00:06:26,137 Inside was a cartoon character saying, 120 00:06:26,137 --> 00:06:27,388 "I don't know about you folks, 121 00:06:27,388 --> 00:06:30,266 but I could lose my keys eatin' breakfast." 122 00:06:30,266 --> 00:06:32,852 His neighbor, trying to be helpful but failing, 123 00:06:32,852 --> 00:06:34,311 cornered Bill in the parking lot 124 00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:36,147 to explain how cryogenic scientists 125 00:06:36,147 --> 00:06:39,692 could freeze his brain in ice until a point in the future 126 00:06:39,692 --> 00:06:42,403 when microscopic robots could repair it. 127 00:06:42,403 --> 00:06:44,739 Bill daydreamed about all the brains in jars 128 00:06:44,739 --> 00:06:47,491 he used to see at school, how he used to wonder 129 00:06:47,491 --> 00:06:50,828 whether there were still somehow pieces of individuals inside... 130 00:06:50,828 --> 00:06:52,997 ...scattered fragments of partial dreams 131 00:06:52,997 --> 00:06:56,208 or lost memories locked deep within that dead tissue.. 132 00:06:56,208 --> 00:06:59,336 ....or whether this entire archive is immediately erased, 133 00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:01,547 the moment that the body fails. 134 00:07:01,547 --> 00:07:04,091 He began to think of people in a new light... 135 00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:07,261 how everyone's just little more than that frightened, 136 00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:09,513 fragile brain stem... 137 00:07:09,513 --> 00:07:11,474 surrounded by meat and physics, 138 00:07:11,474 --> 00:07:14,226 too terrified to recognize the sum of their parts... 139 00:07:14,226 --> 00:07:16,520 ...insulated in the shells of their skulls 140 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,439 and lower middle class houses... 141 00:07:18,439 --> 00:07:21,233 ...afraid of change, afraid of decisions, 142 00:07:21,233 --> 00:07:22,568 afraid of pain... 143 00:07:22,568 --> 00:07:25,696 ...stuck in traffic, listening to terrible music. 144 00:07:25,696 --> 00:07:29,408 [tacky music on the car radio] 145 00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:31,619 His neighbor stared at him and said, 146 00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:35,164 "Last night, I dreamt all my toes fell off." 147 00:07:37,333 --> 00:07:38,542 On the way to his front door, 148 00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:39,627 Bill's other neighbor said, 149 00:07:39,627 --> 00:07:42,671 "Sup, as in, "What's up?" 150 00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:45,549 Inside he noticed a weird wet spot on his mattress 151 00:07:45,549 --> 00:07:49,136 that he didn't remember being there before. 152 00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:51,055 Bill watched part of a documentary program 153 00:07:51,055 --> 00:07:54,809 about a 5,000 year old ice man that was found in Italy. 154 00:07:54,809 --> 00:07:57,228 Scientists explored its colon and everything 155 00:07:57,228 --> 00:07:59,522 on live television. 156 00:07:59,522 --> 00:08:00,981 [the quiet hum of a freezer] 157 00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,274 Bill wondered if the ice man 158 00:08:02,274 --> 00:08:04,485 could ever have imagined this would one day 159 00:08:04,485 --> 00:08:05,820 have happened to him. 160 00:08:08,531 --> 00:08:11,575 [quiet music, played in reverse] 161 00:08:11,575 --> 00:08:14,286 That night, Bill dreamt he was at the seaside, 162 00:08:14,286 --> 00:08:17,123 desperately throwing dead bodies off of a little boat. 163 00:08:22,128 --> 00:08:25,131 Bill took a walk in the park to try and get some fresh air. 164 00:08:25,131 --> 00:08:26,966 He noticed somebody had written, 165 00:08:26,966 --> 00:08:28,801 "I love you," in the playground sand 166 00:08:28,801 --> 00:08:31,303 and he thought that was really beautiful. 167 00:08:31,303 --> 00:08:33,055 As he continued on, a sudden dribble 168 00:08:33,055 --> 00:08:35,891 of urine shot down his pant leg. 169 00:08:35,891 --> 00:08:38,060 That was unexpected. 170 00:08:38,060 --> 00:08:40,437 Then some little fat kid with a deformed foot tried 171 00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:42,857 to sell him a magazine subscription. 172 00:08:42,857 --> 00:08:45,234 Bill looked at the list of magazines for sale 173 00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:48,821 and angrily wondered why they didn't offer any Asian porn... 174 00:08:48,821 --> 00:08:51,991 Then he wondered why he wondered that. 175 00:08:51,991 --> 00:08:53,117 On his way to the clinic, 176 00:08:53,117 --> 00:08:55,286 he found he had a little trouble understanding people... 177 00:08:55,286 --> 00:08:57,955 [characters speaking in strange, frightening gibberish] 178 00:08:57,955 --> 00:09:00,958 Even his pamphlet seemed different. 179 00:09:00,958 --> 00:09:04,128 The guy next to him at the bus stop had the head of a cow, 180 00:09:04,128 --> 00:09:06,881 but Bill pretended not to notice. 181 00:09:06,881 --> 00:09:09,967 His doctor said he had some discouraging news: 182 00:09:09,967 --> 00:09:11,218 The latest tests ruled out 183 00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:13,470 the possibility of further surgeries, 184 00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:16,682 and his current treatment didn't seem to be making any progress. 185 00:09:16,682 --> 00:09:19,518 He wanted to start Bill on something new. 186 00:09:19,518 --> 00:09:21,145 He couldn't think of any reason 187 00:09:21,145 --> 00:09:22,980 why Bill should be seeing things though 188 00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:25,316 and asked him a series of questions. 189 00:09:25,316 --> 00:09:27,401 "You have to understand that your body is going through a 190 00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:28,444 lot of stress right now..." 191 00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:45,408 [very quiet background sounds of a hospital waiting room] 192 00:09:55,846 --> 00:09:57,806 Bill picked up his new medication, 193 00:09:57,806 --> 00:10:00,476 went home, and masturbated for seven hours. 194 00:10:00,476 --> 00:10:02,353 [classical music and opera played in reverse] 195 00:10:02,353 --> 00:10:03,812 He woke up the following morning 196 00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:05,439 and thought his room seemed different. 197 00:10:05,439 --> 00:10:14,782 [bizarre loud noises] 198 00:10:14,782 --> 00:10:16,784 His mouth was bleeding... 199 00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:19,787 four of his teeth had fallen out in the night. 200 00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:23,874 They looked sort of like dog teeth. 201 00:10:23,874 --> 00:10:27,586 Everyone in the supermarket looked like some sort of demon. 202 00:10:27,586 --> 00:10:31,215 And they all had gigantic, bacteria-ridden crotches 203 00:10:31,215 --> 00:10:36,220 buried in the all the goddamned produce! 204 00:10:36,220 --> 00:10:40,015 It felt like his whole body was sparkling. 205 00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:43,102 His shoes felt as though they were filling with blood 206 00:10:43,102 --> 00:10:45,437 and his hands smelled like copper. 207 00:10:45,437 --> 00:10:55,436 [the music swells, amid strange voices and squeaking noises] 208 00:10:58,242 --> 00:11:01,161 When he got home, he found a pair of Lion King slippers 209 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,413 in his closet 210 00:11:02,413 --> 00:11:07,376 but had no idea whose they were, or how they got in there. 211 00:11:07,376 --> 00:11:14,049 [quiet crickets at night] 212 00:11:14,049 --> 00:11:16,552 [and the faraway sound of a distant train] 213 00:11:16,552 --> 00:11:20,347 [classical music played in reverse fades in again] 214 00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:23,934 Silly high-pitched voice: "The pipe is leaking!... 215 00:11:23,934 --> 00:11:26,186 The pipe is leaking!..." [repeating] 216 00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,480 Bill could read the thoughts of his waitress, 217 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:32,067 who wore too much eye makeup and had no self-esteem. 218 00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:36,071 Outside, horribly deformed birds checked their voice mail... 219 00:11:36,071 --> 00:11:38,240 "I am made nervous by a clone 220 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:40,326 that grows beneath my closet..." 221 00:11:40,326 --> 00:11:41,702 "It's not as complicated as that, we just don't like you..." 222 00:11:41,702 --> 00:11:43,495 "I am a man with a very large hat. This means I am in charge." 223 00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:44,371 "I am sexually inadequate." 224 00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:45,247 "Why do you keep treating me this way?" 225 00:11:45,247 --> 00:11:46,123 "Darkness.... darkness... darkness..." 226 00:11:46,123 --> 00:11:48,125 "The effects of tranquilizers on animals 227 00:11:48,125 --> 00:11:49,877 at higher altitudes are unpredictable..." 228 00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:52,463 "Why don't you come over here and sit on my lap?" 229 00:11:52,463 --> 00:11:55,883 After lunch, Bill put on the Lion King slippers 230 00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:57,343 and flew to the bus stop. 231 00:11:57,343 --> 00:11:59,595 [a growing, disturbing chorus of backwards music 232 00:11:59,595 --> 00:12:01,638 and unsettling sounds...] 233 00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:02,639 Bill dropped his keys on the counter 234 00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:04,975 and stood there staring at them, 235 00:12:04,975 --> 00:12:05,893 suddenly thinking about all the times 236 00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:07,644 he'd thrown his keys there before, 237 00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,146 and how many days of his life were wasted... 238 00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:11,273 But then he wondered if, realistically, 239 00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:12,941 this was his life... 240 00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:14,818 this was his life.... 241 00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:17,446 this was his life... 242 00:12:17,446 --> 00:12:18,906 [all of the backwards voices and strange 243 00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:23,410 and frightening noises reach a climax... 244 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:26,955 the beautiful voice of an opera soprano breaks through] 245 00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:38,384 [the Lion King slippers scream] 246 00:12:38,384 --> 00:12:48,102 [backwards voices and strange whispers... total chaos] 247 00:12:48,102 --> 00:12:50,521 "The power of Christ compels you! 248 00:12:50,521 --> 00:12:53,524 The power of Christ compels you!" 249 00:12:53,524 --> 00:12:58,195 [screams, roars and hisses] 250 00:12:58,195 --> 00:13:08,194 [all of the noises grow to a deafening roar] 251 00:13:09,206 --> 00:13:12,167 [sudden silence... a distant sound of a wind tunnel... 252 00:13:12,167 --> 00:13:15,796 a constant high-pitched ringing, like tinnitus] 253 00:13:32,187 --> 00:13:35,149 [everyday sounds of a busy city, 254 00:13:35,149 --> 00:13:41,155 foot traffic and distant car horns] 255 00:13:41,155 --> 00:13:42,656 His mother came to take care of him, 256 00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:44,241 all the way from Omaha. 257 00:13:44,241 --> 00:13:45,868 She was a waitress and often smelt 258 00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:49,246 of baby powder and cheese. 259 00:13:49,246 --> 00:13:51,415 They spent a lot of time together doing puzzles 260 00:13:51,415 --> 00:13:52,666 and watching television. 261 00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:55,919 [silly screaming character on tv] 262 00:13:55,919 --> 00:13:59,089 One morning as Bill was staring at the patterns in the carpet, 263 00:13:59,089 --> 00:14:01,175 she noticed a loose thread in his collar. 264 00:14:01,175 --> 00:14:05,762 [very sudden terrifying music out of nowhere] 265 00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:06,847 [Bill hisses like a cat] 266 00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:13,812 "How could you think I'd ever want to hurt you?" 267 00:14:13,812 --> 00:14:18,984 she said, and crumpled to the floor. 268 00:14:18,984 --> 00:14:22,863 In that moment, Bill thought she looked really old. 269 00:14:26,283 --> 00:14:32,748 Sometimes the fluids in the IV put a funny taste in his mouth. 270 00:14:32,748 --> 00:14:34,708 Bill awoke to find beautiful sunlight streaming 271 00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:36,418 through his window. 272 00:14:36,418 --> 00:14:37,753 He tried to climb through it, 273 00:14:37,753 --> 00:14:39,338 but didn't have the strength to stand. 274 00:14:39,338 --> 00:14:45,928 [ominous music] 275 00:14:45,928 --> 00:14:51,642 [the constant beeping sound of a hospital heart-beat monitor] 276 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:14,414 [the beeping turns into the sound of a telemetry signal] 277 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,888 The next morning, Bill actually felt pretty good. 278 00:15:29,888 --> 00:15:32,766 The day after that, he felt even better. 279 00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:35,185 Then he felt a lot worse. 280 00:15:35,185 --> 00:15:38,355 But the following day, Bill felt just fine. 281 00:15:38,355 --> 00:15:41,191 "I'm sorry, I just don't know what to make of it, 282 00:15:41,191 --> 00:15:42,526 his doctor said. 283 00:15:42,526 --> 00:15:44,987 "Maybe Bill's body is simply rallying 284 00:15:44,987 --> 00:15:47,823 before finally giving up." 285 00:15:47,823 --> 00:15:50,742 His uncle, whom Bill had not even noticed in the room, 286 00:15:50,742 --> 00:15:52,411 had taken a lot of time off work 287 00:15:52,411 --> 00:15:55,539 to fly in all the way from Tulsa. 288 00:15:55,539 --> 00:15:57,791 He looked vaguely annoyed. 289 00:15:57,791 --> 00:16:06,883 [awkward silence... a distant plane flies overhead] 290 00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:08,302 After another two days, 291 00:16:08,302 --> 00:16:10,721 they concluded Bill was not going to die, 292 00:16:10,721 --> 00:16:16,727 so his mother had all of the flowers removed from his room. 293 00:16:16,727 --> 00:16:18,854 She also had to have his casket returned, 294 00:16:18,854 --> 00:16:21,440 at great expense and inconvenience. 295 00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:28,363 Bill had to go back to work the following Tuesday. 296 00:16:28,363 --> 00:16:30,073 It rained for the entire bus ride. 297 00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:36,496 [beautiful symphonic music gradually builds 298 00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:44,838 and swells in cascades, 299 00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:54,837 layering upon itself against the sound of the rain...] 300 00:16:54,931 --> 00:17:02,481 layering upon itself against the sound of the rain...] 301 00:17:02,481 --> 00:17:12,480 [Music] 302 00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:20,457 [Music] 303 00:17:37,641 --> 00:17:47,640 [the sounds of the ocean, waves and sea birds] 304 00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:54,366 [the sounds of the ocean, waves and sea birds] 305 00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:14,970 Last week, Bill's class took a field trip to the beach. 306 00:18:14,970 --> 00:18:16,179 [classical music, on a repeating loop] 307 00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:18,640 His half-brother, Randall came along: 308 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:22,436 a little boy in the special class with aluminum hook arms, 309 00:18:22,436 --> 00:18:27,065 whose mind was as misshapen as his legs. 310 00:18:27,065 --> 00:18:28,483 No one at school really knew him 311 00:18:28,483 --> 00:18:30,485 because he always rode a separate bus... 312 00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:32,362 ...and was taught to stand within the confines 313 00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:35,615 of a tetherball circle every recess. 314 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,367 In the late afternoon, Randall was over 315 00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:40,454 with the adults when he spotted a gull overhead. 316 00:18:40,454 --> 00:18:41,788 His eyes burst with emotion 317 00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:44,332 and he suddenly took off stumbling after it. 318 00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:46,752 Tears streaming down his little face, 319 00:18:46,752 --> 00:18:48,795 he stretched his aluminum hooks as wide 320 00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:51,423 as he could towards the sun, howling, 321 00:18:51,423 --> 00:18:54,050 "Booooooon! Booooooon!" 322 00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:57,471 and disappeared into the deep blue sea. 323 00:19:00,223 --> 00:19:03,059 The other kids were surprised he could even run that fast. 324 00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:05,353 [the music turns ominous] 325 00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:06,938 Bill's mother put a heavy coat over him 326 00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:08,523 whenever he left the house, 327 00:19:08,523 --> 00:19:09,941 for fear that he might fall victim 328 00:19:09,941 --> 00:19:13,278 to something called "walking pneumonia." 329 00:19:13,278 --> 00:19:16,072 She starting doing this the winter after losing Randall, 330 00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:19,159 but then made him wear it every day for the next five years. 331 00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:19,576 [the music turns sad] 332 00:19:19,576 --> 00:19:20,786 In the summers, 333 00:19:20,786 --> 00:19:24,623 he also had to wear a helmet and asbestos safety gloves. 334 00:19:24,623 --> 00:19:27,042 These were the days she rarely left the house 335 00:19:27,042 --> 00:19:29,377 and shaved the cat on weekends. 336 00:19:29,377 --> 00:19:32,214 On his sixth birthday, his mother gave him a postage stamp 337 00:19:32,214 --> 00:19:38,428 and a piece of yarn and hugged him for five minutes. 338 00:19:38,428 --> 00:19:42,390 His parents argued again that night and she threw meat. 339 00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:44,267 His stepfather stormed to the door, 340 00:19:44,267 --> 00:19:46,269 where he turned his face up towards a hole 341 00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:48,438 in the ceiling and yelled, 342 00:19:48,438 --> 00:19:53,902 "I just can't handle this god damned woman," and left. 343 00:19:53,902 --> 00:19:55,779 [a door slams shut] 344 00:19:55,779 --> 00:19:57,405 She stared at the front door 345 00:19:57,405 --> 00:19:59,449 and rocked there in place, saying, 346 00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:04,329 "aaa aaa aaa aaa aaa aaa aaa." 347 00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:06,039 Every now and then at school, 348 00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:08,667 he'd find a note from her in his lunch box. 349 00:20:08,667 --> 00:20:18,666 [the sad music swells] 350 00:20:18,802 --> 00:20:24,683 [running water in a bathroom sink] 351 00:20:24,683 --> 00:20:28,562 His hair was finally growing back. 352 00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:41,700 After completing the clinic's daily memory quiz, 353 00:20:41,700 --> 00:20:45,912 Bill went to the city and saw ants take apart a dead bird. 354 00:20:50,208 --> 00:20:52,002 Yesterday, he spent thirty seconds 355 00:20:52,002 --> 00:20:56,047 trying to open his front door with his mailbox key. 356 00:20:56,047 --> 00:20:59,009 It's been over a year now since his diagnosis, 357 00:20:59,009 --> 00:21:00,552 when they'd stayed up late drinking 358 00:21:00,552 --> 00:21:05,015 and Bill slept on the couch. 359 00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:07,100 In the morning, he sat on the toilet seat 360 00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:09,853 and quietly watched her put on her make-up. 361 00:21:09,853 --> 00:21:13,857 That afternoon, she told him it was over. 362 00:21:13,857 --> 00:21:16,776 In the hardware store, a nice kid with a skin condition 363 00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,194 helps Bill find the right battery 364 00:21:18,194 --> 00:21:20,530 for his wall clock. 365 00:21:20,530 --> 00:21:22,198 He had taken a walk to the park, 366 00:21:22,198 --> 00:21:25,702 but didn't really know what to do with his day there. 367 00:21:25,702 --> 00:21:30,540 At home he makes toast, but changes his mind. 368 00:21:30,540 --> 00:21:32,709 He's been having trouble sleeping again, 369 00:21:32,709 --> 00:21:36,838 and realizes he's lying in the dark with his eyes open. 370 00:21:40,425 --> 00:21:50,424 [Leaf blower drone drowning out classical music] 371 00:21:50,518 --> 00:21:58,360 [Leaf blower drone drowning out classical music] 372 00:22:15,210 --> 00:22:25,209 [Leaf blower drone drowning out classical music] 373 00:22:25,303 --> 00:22:32,769 [Leaf blower drone drowning out classical music] 374 00:22:37,649 --> 00:22:47,648 [Leaf blower drone drowning out classical music] 375 00:23:00,255 --> 00:23:10,254 [Leaf blower drone drowning out classical music] 376 00:23:32,996 --> 00:23:35,832 Whenever Grandma would visit and he'd show her his drawings, 377 00:23:35,832 --> 00:23:38,752 she'd often imagine how easily she could toss little Bill 378 00:23:38,752 --> 00:23:39,878 into the fireplace... 379 00:23:39,878 --> 00:23:41,963 [dark, ominous music] 380 00:23:41,963 --> 00:23:44,090 ...or even through a thin window... 381 00:23:44,090 --> 00:23:47,719 ...for he was still young and quite small, and floppy... 382 00:23:47,719 --> 00:23:50,221 ...and she reckoned light enough for a woman of her size 383 00:23:50,221 --> 00:23:54,017 and strength to hurl across the room several yards or more. 384 00:23:54,017 --> 00:23:56,269 [the music grows more turbulent and intense] 385 00:23:56,269 --> 00:23:58,438 In the middle of the night she opens the drawer 386 00:23:58,438 --> 00:24:01,691 to find the preserved cat head from last week. 387 00:24:01,691 --> 00:24:05,070 She can feel the fish smothering her brain, 388 00:24:05,070 --> 00:24:07,572 and the magic scrubbing of their furry little heads 389 00:24:07,572 --> 00:24:10,492 across her skin is doing less and less good... 390 00:24:10,492 --> 00:24:11,868 [strange echoes: "doing less and less good... 391 00:24:11,868 --> 00:24:12,702 doing less and less good..."] 392 00:24:12,702 --> 00:24:13,828 ...and she decides this is 393 00:24:13,828 --> 00:24:15,538 because their little heads are of low quality... 394 00:24:15,538 --> 00:24:16,831 ...and she needs more of them.... 395 00:24:16,831 --> 00:24:18,208 [strange echoes: "and she needs more of them..."] 396 00:24:18,208 --> 00:24:20,335 ...many, many more of them, from higher pedigree breeds... 397 00:24:20,335 --> 00:24:22,754 ...little heads with richer skin and better hair-dos 398 00:24:22,754 --> 00:24:25,256 and cleaner little ears and clearer eyes... 399 00:24:25,256 --> 00:24:32,889 [the music slows down and becomes sad and tragic] 400 00:24:32,889 --> 00:24:36,684 They said she had a tumor and was suffering from seizures 401 00:24:36,684 --> 00:24:38,436 and dementia. 402 00:24:38,436 --> 00:24:40,230 Bill didn't know what those words meant, 403 00:24:40,230 --> 00:24:43,483 but he had ideas. 404 00:24:44,651 --> 00:24:47,070 [rustic and energetic violin folk music] 405 00:24:47,070 --> 00:24:49,572 Grandma was born in Bootblack, Wyoming, 406 00:24:49,572 --> 00:24:51,699 two years after the great mud storms 407 00:24:51,699 --> 00:24:53,910 drowned all the hogs. 408 00:24:53,910 --> 00:24:56,830 Her father serviced electric machines... 409 00:24:56,830 --> 00:25:00,834 ...and once strangled a rock in a fit of religious excitement. 410 00:25:03,002 --> 00:25:04,629 He enjoyed wood... 411 00:25:04,629 --> 00:25:06,923 ...and telling the children late-night stories 412 00:25:06,923 --> 00:25:10,593 of how his own Papa used to tame the wilderness. 413 00:25:13,847 --> 00:25:17,100 He was a quiet, unassuming man who was eating an onion one day 414 00:25:17,100 --> 00:25:18,893 when he was cut in half by a train. 415 00:25:25,900 --> 00:25:28,111 Grandma's older brother became a preacher 416 00:25:28,111 --> 00:25:32,073 who grew his mole hairs long to purify his soul. 417 00:25:32,073 --> 00:25:34,075 In his early years, he secretly fathered 418 00:25:34,075 --> 00:25:36,870 an illegitimate child and smothered it one night 419 00:25:36,870 --> 00:25:38,121 in the abandoned stable. 420 00:25:38,121 --> 00:25:39,497 [ominous crickets and frogs 421 00:25:39,497 --> 00:25:41,374 briefly drown out the continuous folk music] 422 00:25:41,374 --> 00:25:45,253 As he aged, he became plagued with firebugs and once claimed 423 00:25:45,253 --> 00:25:47,255 to have seen an aquatic creature make off 424 00:25:47,255 --> 00:25:50,550 with the sheriff's prize cow. 425 00:25:52,594 --> 00:25:56,556 He was eventually crippled with lead poisoning and polio. 426 00:25:56,556 --> 00:25:58,808 And was killed by a train. 427 00:26:03,479 --> 00:26:05,273 Grandma's little sister, Polly, 428 00:26:05,273 --> 00:26:07,108 had beautiful golden hair 429 00:26:07,108 --> 00:26:11,154 and pounded at imaginary animals with a hammer. 430 00:26:11,154 --> 00:26:15,909 She died at the age of eight after contracting yellow fever. 431 00:26:15,909 --> 00:26:16,951 And catching on fire. 432 00:26:23,708 --> 00:26:26,628 After Polly's death, Grandma's mother cut out her tongue 433 00:26:26,628 --> 00:26:29,547 and vigorously enjoyed taking health tonics 434 00:26:29,547 --> 00:26:31,549 and prescription medications. 435 00:26:31,549 --> 00:26:34,636 [strange howling] 436 00:26:34,636 --> 00:26:37,388 [an inhuman scream] 437 00:26:37,388 --> 00:26:39,724 A wild man wandered into town that summer 438 00:26:39,724 --> 00:26:43,228 and beat the church organist with a shovel. 439 00:26:43,228 --> 00:26:45,772 He defecated what looked like a pile of blueberries 440 00:26:45,772 --> 00:26:48,524 on the family porch and disappeared, 441 00:26:48,524 --> 00:26:51,361 howling into the marsh. 442 00:26:51,361 --> 00:26:52,779 Nobody knew that this wild man 443 00:26:52,779 --> 00:26:55,365 was in fact Grandma's great-uncle... 444 00:26:55,365 --> 00:26:58,952 ....a forgotten, unwanted child who'd been fed carbolic acid 445 00:26:58,952 --> 00:27:02,914 and abandoned in the northern woods fifty-two years prior. 446 00:27:02,914 --> 00:27:05,041 He ate mud and sticks 447 00:27:05,041 --> 00:27:07,919 and knew only how to say the word, "Bible." 448 00:27:15,051 --> 00:27:17,512 He died alone in a field one summer morning 449 00:27:17,512 --> 00:27:21,057 while dreaming of the moon. 450 00:27:21,057 --> 00:27:25,645 Six weeks later, a sunflower grew out of his head. 451 00:27:25,645 --> 00:27:27,397 In their later years, Grandma's family 452 00:27:27,397 --> 00:27:30,066 moved to the big city, where her mother lived out 453 00:27:30,066 --> 00:27:34,279 the rest of her days making jam... 454 00:27:34,279 --> 00:27:37,365 ...and persecuting Jews. 455 00:27:37,365 --> 00:27:39,284 There was a bush in front of their building 456 00:27:39,284 --> 00:27:41,536 in the shape of a heart that made her cry 457 00:27:41,536 --> 00:27:44,289 every time she saw it. 458 00:27:44,289 --> 00:27:47,959 She died alone while Grandma was away at boarding school, 459 00:27:47,959 --> 00:27:51,379 surrounded by visions of phantoms. 460 00:27:51,379 --> 00:27:56,175 [otherworldly howling] 461 00:27:56,175 --> 00:27:59,721 Grandpa died eleven years before Grandma did. 462 00:27:59,721 --> 00:28:02,015 He used to sit next to her every Sunday, 463 00:28:02,015 --> 00:28:05,810 but now she plays his bingo card for him. 464 00:28:10,356 --> 00:28:15,445 [beautiful harp music] 465 00:28:15,445 --> 00:28:17,363 Last night, Bill dreamt he was young again, 466 00:28:17,363 --> 00:28:20,450 in a field with friends at the seaside. 467 00:28:20,450 --> 00:28:22,827 A big happy seal barked at them and bounded 468 00:28:22,827 --> 00:28:26,122 from the water to play soccer. 469 00:28:26,122 --> 00:28:28,124 He was pretty good. 470 00:28:28,124 --> 00:28:31,044 It was like an animal movie. 471 00:28:31,044 --> 00:28:33,338 Then the seal hit the ball a little too excited 472 00:28:33,338 --> 00:28:36,466 and it flew over everyone's heads and struck a little boy 473 00:28:36,466 --> 00:28:39,719 in an adjacent field really hard in the chest. 474 00:28:39,719 --> 00:28:41,763 It seemed like maybe he had a heart condition 475 00:28:41,763 --> 00:28:44,640 or something because he wasn't moving. 476 00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:47,477 Everyone sort of froze. 477 00:28:47,477 --> 00:28:51,314 The seal retreated to the sea. 478 00:28:51,314 --> 00:28:55,860 Nobody knew what to do. 479 00:28:55,860 --> 00:28:59,238 He'd slept on his arm funny and it felt sort of numb. 480 00:29:01,866 --> 00:29:04,744 [shower water running] 481 00:29:04,744 --> 00:29:07,080 Sometimes it sounds like there's voices in the water. 482 00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:09,123 [strange, subtle reverse whispers] 483 00:29:09,123 --> 00:29:10,583 He's been putting some weight back on 484 00:29:10,583 --> 00:29:14,003 and his doctor had said that was good news. 485 00:29:14,003 --> 00:29:16,172 At the bus stop his left testicle ached 486 00:29:16,172 --> 00:29:20,176 for no apparent reason and it almost made him feel dizzy. 487 00:29:21,719 --> 00:29:23,596 Not much happened at work. 488 00:29:23,596 --> 00:29:26,516 Bill made a pyramid out of three staplers. 489 00:29:26,516 --> 00:29:28,393 And the new guy swallowed a paper clip 490 00:29:28,393 --> 00:29:32,939 and was rushed out in a wheelchair. 491 00:29:32,939 --> 00:29:35,691 The guy in the next cubicle over told Bill about a thing 492 00:29:35,691 --> 00:29:37,360 he saw on TV 493 00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:40,738 about identical twins who were separated at birth 494 00:29:40,738 --> 00:29:44,909 but had individually grown up to be serial killers. 495 00:29:44,909 --> 00:29:47,370 It was as though they didn't have any choice 496 00:29:47,370 --> 00:29:49,789 in what they turned into. 497 00:29:49,789 --> 00:29:52,667 "Genetics is pretty messed up, he said, 498 00:29:52,667 --> 00:29:55,795 as his chewing gum flung itself from his mouth. 499 00:29:59,549 --> 00:30:01,426 At lunch he told Bill about a physics book 500 00:30:01,426 --> 00:30:03,386 he was reading about time. 501 00:30:03,386 --> 00:30:06,264 How the passing of time is just an illusion, 502 00:30:06,264 --> 00:30:11,894 because all of eternity is actually taking place at once. 503 00:30:11,894 --> 00:30:14,355 The past never vanishes away, 504 00:30:14,355 --> 00:30:17,733 and the future has already happened. 505 00:30:17,733 --> 00:30:20,778 All of history is fixed and laid out, 506 00:30:20,778 --> 00:30:24,574 like an infinite landscape of simultaneous events 507 00:30:24,574 --> 00:30:31,497 that we simply happen to travel through in one direction. 508 00:30:31,497 --> 00:30:34,041 Bill made a joke that he could have sworn he'd been told 509 00:30:34,041 --> 00:30:35,293 that somewhere before, 510 00:30:35,293 --> 00:30:40,298 but the guy just stared at him like he didn't get it. 511 00:30:40,298 --> 00:30:43,217 At home Bill watched the microwave spin his food 512 00:30:43,217 --> 00:30:46,471 and daydreamed about the Galapagos Islands. 513 00:30:46,471 --> 00:30:48,764 He'd purchased the new brand of paper towels 514 00:30:48,764 --> 00:30:50,600 that had hundreds of little raised bumps 515 00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:52,101 across every sheet. 516 00:30:58,941 --> 00:31:02,487 He found a message on the answering machine... 517 00:31:02,487 --> 00:31:03,613 ...that was sorry to inform him 518 00:31:03,613 --> 00:31:07,450 his mother had just died that morning. 519 00:31:07,450 --> 00:31:10,912 They said she'd launched into a fit of senile hysterics 520 00:31:10,912 --> 00:31:13,789 after skipping her medication. 521 00:31:13,789 --> 00:31:15,958 And was hit by a train. 522 00:31:15,958 --> 00:31:17,043 [troubled classical music, on a repeating loop] 523 00:31:17,043 --> 00:31:19,754 She'd reserved her own funeral plot years in advance 524 00:31:19,754 --> 00:31:22,507 in order to be buried alongside her parents... 525 00:31:22,507 --> 00:31:23,799 ...but due to a clerical error 526 00:31:23,799 --> 00:31:26,385 had to be placed fifty yards away, 527 00:31:26,385 --> 00:31:28,137 between a coffin full of rocks 528 00:31:28,137 --> 00:31:31,557 and a rich woman's golden retriever. 529 00:31:31,557 --> 00:31:34,644 After the funeral, Bill went through her old storage boxes 530 00:31:34,644 --> 00:31:38,314 and was surprised to find a 100 year old photo album. 531 00:31:38,314 --> 00:31:40,191 Among the many pictures of relatives 532 00:31:40,191 --> 00:31:41,776 and people he never knew 533 00:31:41,776 --> 00:31:46,697 were several photographs of bacon... and lumber. 534 00:31:46,697 --> 00:31:49,700 He also found an old series of strange portraits 535 00:31:49,700 --> 00:31:54,205 that had been neatly labeled, for unknown future reference. 536 00:31:57,750 --> 00:31:59,919 Scattered throughout the box were forgotten photos 537 00:31:59,919 --> 00:32:02,129 of himself as a young boy. 538 00:32:02,129 --> 00:32:05,716 He'd read once how each cell in the body replaces itself 539 00:32:05,716 --> 00:32:08,052 and dies as the years pass... 540 00:32:08,052 --> 00:32:10,846 ...how everyone is slowly reconstructed 541 00:32:10,846 --> 00:32:15,017 out of continuously changing pieces. 542 00:32:15,017 --> 00:32:18,479 It depressed him how foreign the pictures seemed to him now, 543 00:32:18,479 --> 00:32:22,191 how his ridiculous, ingrown cells had long ago stolen 544 00:32:22,191 --> 00:32:24,527 this happy dead kid's identity, 545 00:32:24,527 --> 00:32:29,282 and with his own life, made a complete mess of it. 546 00:32:29,282 --> 00:32:30,324 Beneath the album 547 00:32:30,324 --> 00:32:33,035 was a folder of his mother's medical records. 548 00:32:33,035 --> 00:32:34,829 Attached to her initial diagnosis 549 00:32:34,829 --> 00:32:35,997 was a physician's note 550 00:32:35,997 --> 00:32:38,499 that strongly recommended she never have a child. 551 00:32:42,628 --> 00:32:48,634 [sounds of a city, with distant traffic] 552 00:32:48,634 --> 00:32:58,633 [ominous and strong classical music begins and slowly builds] 553 00:33:16,454 --> 00:33:18,623 He pictures himself having trouble breathing 554 00:33:18,623 --> 00:33:21,709 and waking to a roomful of concerned faces. 555 00:33:21,709 --> 00:33:24,837 He'd been terrified of dying his entire life, 556 00:33:24,837 --> 00:33:26,964 and as much as he'd tried not to think about it, 557 00:33:26,964 --> 00:33:29,300 death was always in the back of his head, 558 00:33:29,300 --> 00:33:32,762 around every corner, and hovering on each horizon. 559 00:33:32,762 --> 00:33:35,640 He'd brushed shoulders with death on a few occasions, 560 00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:37,933 but in his carefree youth it had almost seemed like 561 00:33:37,933 --> 00:33:41,437 an abstract, impossible thing to ever happen to him. 562 00:33:41,437 --> 00:33:42,938 But with each passing decade, 563 00:33:42,938 --> 00:33:45,941 he began to gauge the time he probably had left, 564 00:33:45,941 --> 00:33:49,028 and by his 40s, what he considered his halfway point 565 00:33:49,028 --> 00:33:52,365 at best, he had come to know just one thing: 566 00:33:52,365 --> 00:33:57,953 You will only get older. 567 00:33:57,953 --> 00:33:59,622 The next thing you know, you're looking back 568 00:33:59,622 --> 00:34:01,457 instead of forward. 569 00:34:01,457 --> 00:34:04,752 And now, at the climax of all those years of worry, 570 00:34:04,752 --> 00:34:07,296 sleepless nights, and denials, 571 00:34:07,296 --> 00:34:09,799 Bill finally finds himself staring his death 572 00:34:09,799 --> 00:34:11,050 in the face... 573 00:34:11,050 --> 00:34:13,678 ...surrounded by people he no longer recognizes 574 00:34:13,678 --> 00:34:15,805 and feels no closer attachment to 575 00:34:15,805 --> 00:34:19,308 than the thousands of relatives who'd come before. 576 00:34:19,308 --> 00:34:21,310 And as the sun continues to set, 577 00:34:21,310 --> 00:34:24,605 he finally comes to realize the dumb irony 578 00:34:24,605 --> 00:34:28,484 in how he'd been waiting for this moment his entire life. 579 00:34:28,484 --> 00:34:31,987 This stupid, awkward moment of death that had invaded 580 00:34:31,987 --> 00:34:38,327 and distracted so many days with stress and wasted time. 581 00:34:38,327 --> 00:34:41,205 If only he could travel back and impart some wisdom 582 00:34:41,205 --> 00:34:43,040 to his younger self. 583 00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:45,126 If only he could at least tell the young people 584 00:34:45,126 --> 00:34:46,502 in this room. 585 00:34:46,502 --> 00:34:50,214 He lifts an arm to speak but inexplicably says, 586 00:34:50,214 --> 00:34:53,551 "it smells like dust and moonlight." 587 00:34:53,551 --> 00:34:55,845 [the classical music continues to build 588 00:34:55,845 --> 00:34:59,014 in strength and beauty] 589 00:34:59,014 --> 00:35:00,307 He'd forgotten years ago 590 00:35:00,307 --> 00:35:03,102 to replace the battery in the cheap wall clock in his kitchen 591 00:35:03,102 --> 00:35:06,439 and it was forever stuck on 11:57. 592 00:35:06,439 --> 00:35:08,190 He couldn't remember why he'd put a clock there 593 00:35:08,190 --> 00:35:09,525 in the first place, 594 00:35:09,525 --> 00:35:11,193 since it was sort of in an awkward nook 595 00:35:11,193 --> 00:35:14,947 around a corner where he'd never wonder what time it was. 596 00:35:28,335 --> 00:35:30,129 Near the bottom of the storage box, 597 00:35:30,129 --> 00:35:33,340 Bill found an old notebook he'd never seen before... 598 00:35:33,340 --> 00:35:35,968 ...filling the pages inside, his mother had repeatedly 599 00:35:35,968 --> 00:35:38,846 practiced her handwriting, so she could send him off 600 00:35:38,846 --> 00:35:41,098 to school with the best-looking notes. 601 00:35:41,098 --> 00:35:51,097 [the music continues] 602 00:36:09,043 --> 00:36:10,294 He calls his ex-girlfriend 603 00:36:10,294 --> 00:36:14,423 and arranges to meet for lunch after his check-up. 604 00:36:18,260 --> 00:36:19,428 This morning he couldn't remember 605 00:36:19,428 --> 00:36:22,348 where he'd put the clinic's daily memory quizzes. 606 00:36:22,348 --> 00:36:32,347 [intense electrical charges and zaps] 607 00:36:33,234 --> 00:36:37,404 [the music stops replaced by Bill's vacuum cleaner] 608 00:36:37,404 --> 00:36:39,865 He decides to make toast... 609 00:36:39,865 --> 00:36:44,078 but for a long moment can't think of how it's done. 610 00:36:44,078 --> 00:36:48,999 There's only a brown stain now where that bird had been. 611 00:36:48,999 --> 00:36:51,502 His doctor has nothing but good news. 612 00:36:51,502 --> 00:36:53,921 Bill has continued to make terrific progress 613 00:36:53,921 --> 00:36:56,841 and he can no longer find anything out of the ordinary. 614 00:36:56,841 --> 00:36:59,635 He tells Bill that if he'd not known his medical history, 615 00:36:59,635 --> 00:37:03,305 he would probably give him a clean bill of health today. 616 00:37:03,305 --> 00:37:04,932 [a quiet, echoing cave... 617 00:37:04,932 --> 00:37:12,773 water is dripping and a rumbling wind is distant] 618 00:37:12,773 --> 00:37:16,068 [tweeting sparrows and light wing flaps] 619 00:37:16,068 --> 00:37:19,572 On his way to lunch, Bill smiles and thinks for the first time 620 00:37:19,572 --> 00:37:21,323 that maybe everything will be-- 621 00:37:21,323 --> 00:37:23,075 [a sudden, overwhelming flood of electrical zaps, 622 00:37:23,075 --> 00:37:33,074 echoing voices, and constant tones] 623 00:37:33,294 --> 00:37:36,338 [the wall of sound gives way to beautiful music, 624 00:37:36,338 --> 00:37:40,050 slowly building in urgency...] 625 00:37:40,050 --> 00:37:42,511 Bill was born late Tuesday morning 626 00:37:42,511 --> 00:37:45,681 into a world of orange and red. 627 00:37:45,681 --> 00:37:49,518 [the chimes of a child's music box] 628 00:37:49,518 --> 00:37:57,359 He likes the way the aquamarine rug feels across his hands. 629 00:37:57,359 --> 00:38:00,779 He likes sunbeams... ...and rockets... 630 00:38:00,779 --> 00:38:02,781 ...and the smell of the backyard in the early morning. 631 00:38:02,781 --> 00:38:05,618 [a distant family dog is barking] 632 00:38:05,618 --> 00:38:07,912 He likes tigers... ...and trees... 633 00:38:07,912 --> 00:38:09,872 ...and melted chocolate ice cream... 634 00:38:09,872 --> 00:38:12,166 ...and watching the lights while falling asleep 635 00:38:12,166 --> 00:38:13,334 in the back seat. 636 00:38:13,334 --> 00:38:15,085 [the whooshing sounds of cars flying past.... 637 00:38:15,085 --> 00:38:20,507 the beautiful music is building with more and more intensity] 638 00:38:20,507 --> 00:38:22,217 [electrical charges and an elongated, 639 00:38:22,217 --> 00:38:23,135 comforting exhale of breath] 640 00:38:23,135 --> 00:38:24,678 Someone sits on the shore 641 00:38:24,678 --> 00:38:26,764 and tells him how the waves have been there 642 00:38:26,764 --> 00:38:28,724 long before Bill existed... 643 00:38:28,724 --> 00:38:32,186 ...and that they'll still be there long after he's gone. 644 00:38:32,186 --> 00:38:33,687 Bill looks out at the water 645 00:38:33,687 --> 00:38:35,564 and thinks of all the wonderful things 646 00:38:35,564 --> 00:38:36,774 he will do with his life. 647 00:38:36,774 --> 00:38:41,195 [the music reaches its peak ] 648 00:38:41,195 --> 00:38:44,990 [silence] 649 00:38:44,990 --> 00:38:49,286 [distant thunder] 650 00:38:49,286 --> 00:38:52,539 [a sudden gasp for air] 651 00:38:52,539 --> 00:38:58,796 [artificially slowed-down music... 652 00:38:58,796 --> 00:39:04,468 strange calming sounds... and occasional electric discharges] 653 00:39:16,146 --> 00:39:20,859 [a loud zap, and then sudden silence] 654 00:39:20,859 --> 00:39:22,611 Female voice: "Bill? Can you hear me, Bill?" 655 00:39:22,611 --> 00:39:24,154 Male voice: "Look at me, Bill. Look at me." 656 00:39:24,154 --> 00:39:25,030 Nurse voice: "140 over 90." 657 00:39:25,030 --> 00:39:25,698 Male voice: "Bill, can you hear me?" 658 00:39:25,698 --> 00:39:26,782 Female voice: "Bill?" 659 00:39:26,782 --> 00:39:28,492 Male voice, getting distant: "Bill, can you hear me?" 660 00:39:28,492 --> 00:39:29,618 [the slow music 661 00:39:29,618 --> 00:39:37,042 and beautiful soothing sounds gradually return...] 662 00:39:44,425 --> 00:39:54,424 [Music] 663 00:40:03,986 --> 00:40:06,488 The last thing Bill can remember 664 00:40:06,488 --> 00:40:10,451 is speaking to his ex-girlfriend.... 665 00:40:13,620 --> 00:40:15,998 ...bird wings... 666 00:40:15,998 --> 00:40:18,625 ...and the smell of black licorice. 667 00:40:18,625 --> 00:40:20,836 [the beautiful music grows darker, 668 00:40:20,836 --> 00:40:30,835 getting louder and stronger...] 669 00:40:30,971 --> 00:40:38,020 getting louder and stronger...] 670 00:40:38,020 --> 00:40:38,937 [the music and sounds suddenly stop, 671 00:40:38,937 --> 00:40:47,654 replaced by a simple harp melody] 672 00:40:47,654 --> 00:40:53,577 He watches dust float across the sunbeam above his head. 673 00:40:57,039 --> 00:40:59,416 And then he goes back to sleep. 674 00:41:02,961 --> 00:41:07,049 His roommate's name is Matthew, a paralyzed young man 675 00:41:07,049 --> 00:41:08,467 hidden by curtains 676 00:41:08,467 --> 00:41:11,762 who communicates to the nursing staff through a row of buttons 677 00:41:11,762 --> 00:41:15,015 that can play five different electronic sentences... 678 00:41:15,015 --> 00:41:18,852 ...but more often than not, he only presses one of them: 679 00:41:18,852 --> 00:41:20,979 Electronic voice: "I am in pain." 680 00:41:20,979 --> 00:41:23,315 Every afternoon, the reflections of sunlight 681 00:41:23,315 --> 00:41:25,818 from the traffic below cast colorful patterns 682 00:41:25,818 --> 00:41:28,112 across their ceiling. 683 00:41:28,112 --> 00:41:30,072 In the mornings, the sunlight illuminates 684 00:41:30,072 --> 00:41:32,574 Matthew's curtain and makes it look beautiful 685 00:41:32,574 --> 00:41:35,452 even though it's just gray. 686 00:41:35,452 --> 00:41:37,996 His ex-girlfriend's been visiting lately 687 00:41:37,996 --> 00:41:41,542 and they talk for hours about current events. 688 00:41:41,542 --> 00:41:46,004 Sometimes they eat ice cream bars. 689 00:41:46,004 --> 00:41:50,092 It's the happiest he's been in a long time. 690 00:41:50,092 --> 00:41:56,515 [the simple music swells, against light thunder 691 00:41:56,515 --> 00:41:59,810 and the sound of rain] 692 00:41:59,810 --> 00:42:01,979 Bill is introduced to a new doctor 693 00:42:01,979 --> 00:42:03,981 and given a short interview. 694 00:42:03,981 --> 00:42:05,607 He doesn't know what month it is, 695 00:42:05,607 --> 00:42:07,943 but he's aware he's in a hospital. 696 00:42:07,943 --> 00:42:10,112 He can't remember his address, 697 00:42:10,112 --> 00:42:13,615 so he supposes he must have always lived here. 698 00:42:13,615 --> 00:42:16,952 His vision's a blurry, and he no longer has strength 699 00:42:16,952 --> 00:42:19,121 in the grip of his left hand. 700 00:42:19,121 --> 00:42:23,041 Bill is asked to describe a series of photographs. 701 00:42:23,041 --> 00:42:26,920 He's able to put words to many of these objects... 702 00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:30,883 ...but is very confused by some of the others. 703 00:42:33,927 --> 00:42:36,638 He also has difficulty distinguishing the faces 704 00:42:36,638 --> 00:42:39,266 of people he knows. 705 00:42:39,266 --> 00:42:43,187 All of these people really just look the same. 706 00:42:43,187 --> 00:42:45,480 And though he can recognize his ex-girlfriend 707 00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:48,442 because of her long hair... 708 00:42:48,442 --> 00:42:51,361 ...he can't remember her name. 709 00:42:52,863 --> 00:42:53,822 He tells the doctor 710 00:42:53,822 --> 00:42:57,284 he has a fish living inside of his head, 711 00:42:57,284 --> 00:43:00,120 "possibly a trout." 712 00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:02,664 It'll be another night before it dawns on him 713 00:43:02,664 --> 00:43:04,791 that something seems missing. 714 00:43:04,791 --> 00:43:08,295 All the memories the doctor asked him to recall today 715 00:43:08,295 --> 00:43:10,839 are suddenly out of his grasp. 716 00:43:10,839 --> 00:43:14,843 So many years of faces and moments... 717 00:43:14,843 --> 00:43:17,596 ...are mostly just a vague feeling now. 718 00:43:17,596 --> 00:43:19,848 [ominous thunder and rain] 719 00:43:19,848 --> 00:43:24,228 The years are slipping out of his head. 720 00:43:27,272 --> 00:43:29,566 Yesterday, a gardener with a hose 721 00:43:29,566 --> 00:43:33,028 blasted all the sparrow nests from the second-story awning 722 00:43:33,028 --> 00:43:34,696 of the building next door... 723 00:43:34,696 --> 00:43:39,743 ...raining mud and little broken eggs into the parking lot. 724 00:43:41,620 --> 00:43:42,996 Another test has been arranged 725 00:43:42,996 --> 00:43:45,916 and Bill is taken to a white room. 726 00:43:45,916 --> 00:43:48,252 A radiologist makes an incision 727 00:43:48,252 --> 00:43:51,880 and pushes a catheter into his femoral artery. 728 00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:54,216 The catheter is carefully pushed through his stomach 729 00:43:54,216 --> 00:43:57,135 to his heart, up through his chest, 730 00:43:57,135 --> 00:44:00,347 and into his head, where a special dye is introduced 731 00:44:00,347 --> 00:44:03,976 to flood the blood vessels in his brain for X-rays. 732 00:44:03,976 --> 00:44:07,604 Bill is then asked to raise his arms and count to twenty. 733 00:44:07,604 --> 00:44:09,898 A powerful anesthetic is introduced 734 00:44:09,898 --> 00:44:13,986 to temporarily shut down the left hemisphere of his brain. 735 00:44:13,986 --> 00:44:16,238 And for the remaining half of Bill, 736 00:44:16,238 --> 00:44:17,948 the test begi-- 737 00:44:17,948 --> 00:44:20,909 Woman's voice: "Bill? Can you hear me?" 738 00:44:20,909 --> 00:44:23,203 Woman's voice: "Bill, can you look up here for me? 739 00:44:23,203 --> 00:44:25,747 Can you tell me what these objects are?" 740 00:44:25,747 --> 00:44:28,667 Woman's voice: "Bill, can you tell me what this is?" 741 00:44:28,667 --> 00:44:31,753 Man's voice: "Bill, can you add up these numbers for me?" 742 00:44:31,753 --> 00:44:33,422 Woman's voice: "You're doing great, Bill." 743 00:44:33,422 --> 00:44:34,339 Man's voice: "Okay. 744 00:44:34,339 --> 00:44:35,757 And what do these numbers add up to?" 745 00:44:35,757 --> 00:44:37,718 Woman's voice: "Look at me, Bill, look at me. 746 00:44:37,718 --> 00:44:38,969 Bill, look at me." 747 00:44:38,969 --> 00:44:41,263 Man's voice: "Okay, Bill, and can you tell me who this is?" 748 00:44:41,263 --> 00:44:42,764 Woman's voice: "It's okay, Bill, you're doing great." 749 00:44:42,764 --> 00:44:45,058 Man's voice: "And can you tell me who this is?" 750 00:44:45,058 --> 00:44:47,978 Man's voice: "Bill, can you tell me who this is? 751 00:44:47,978 --> 00:44:49,688 Do you remember her?" 752 00:45:05,370 --> 00:45:07,539 Today she's joined by her boyfriend, 753 00:45:07,539 --> 00:45:10,625 a young man named Steve who spends most of the afternoon 754 00:45:10,625 --> 00:45:13,587 in the corner quietly staring at Matthew's curtain. 755 00:45:13,587 --> 00:45:15,255 Electronic voice: "I am in pain." 756 00:45:15,255 --> 00:45:17,799 The doctor explains to her that Bill may be having trouble 757 00:45:17,799 --> 00:45:21,094 understanding past tense and present tense. 758 00:45:21,094 --> 00:45:23,138 It may also be difficult for Bill to understand 759 00:45:23,138 --> 00:45:26,600 which of his memories are real, and which are imagined. 760 00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:29,394 When the brain is confronted with major memory loss, 761 00:45:29,394 --> 00:45:33,440 it often fills in the blanks with confabulated stories: 762 00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:37,486 False memories, people who never existed... 763 00:45:37,486 --> 00:45:42,032 ...invented conclusions to make everyday life less confusing... 764 00:45:42,032 --> 00:45:46,203 and to somehow rationalize what's happening to him. 765 00:45:48,080 --> 00:45:50,665 Today they will chat awkwardly. 766 00:45:50,665 --> 00:45:53,251 Bill's been unable to stay on one subject 767 00:45:53,251 --> 00:45:54,753 for more than a few moments 768 00:45:54,753 --> 00:45:57,547 and seems to get easily frustrated. 769 00:45:57,547 --> 00:45:59,216 She will say she didn't know 770 00:45:59,216 --> 00:46:01,593 why she'd brought Steve along yesterday, 771 00:46:01,593 --> 00:46:03,720 and admits he'd been so shaken 772 00:46:03,720 --> 00:46:07,182 by the experience that he quietly cried in the car 773 00:46:07,182 --> 00:46:10,352 on the way home. 774 00:46:10,352 --> 00:46:13,563 The sparrows have already begun to rebuild, 775 00:46:13,563 --> 00:46:17,609 but he's not sure if he feels happy or sad for them. 776 00:46:20,237 --> 00:46:21,154 [intense and fiery jet engines] 777 00:46:21,154 --> 00:46:22,572 He dreams he's part of a rocket crew, 778 00:46:22,572 --> 00:46:24,866 re-entering the earth's atmosphere. 779 00:46:24,866 --> 00:46:26,743 As they rapidly descend, it's believed 780 00:46:26,743 --> 00:46:29,079 that eating ice cream bars will help prevent them 781 00:46:29,079 --> 00:46:30,914 from having strokes. 782 00:46:30,914 --> 00:46:34,000 As the heat intensifies, Bill eats his ice cream bar 783 00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:36,795 and secretly hopes that if something bad had to happen, 784 00:46:36,795 --> 00:46:38,296 the ship wouldn't explode, 785 00:46:38,296 --> 00:46:41,299 but just that everyone else would have strokes. 786 00:46:41,299 --> 00:46:43,176 A final battery of tests are ordered 787 00:46:43,176 --> 00:46:46,054 to positively rule out the chance of surgery. 788 00:46:46,054 --> 00:46:49,349 Highly drugged, Bill will have no memory of these tests 789 00:46:49,349 --> 00:46:51,560 other than a terrible noise to his right... 790 00:46:51,560 --> 00:46:52,811 [whirring machines and the steady pulse of a ventilator] 791 00:46:52,811 --> 00:46:55,981 ...and a brief vision of a seahorse... 792 00:46:55,981 --> 00:46:57,190 ...and a falling tree. 793 00:46:57,190 --> 00:47:07,189 [the ventilator continues, among soft, otherworldly sounds] 794 00:47:07,409 --> 00:47:12,914 [silence] 795 00:47:12,914 --> 00:47:14,374 This morning he can't remember 796 00:47:14,374 --> 00:47:17,544 the last time his ex-girlfriend had come to visit. 797 00:47:17,544 --> 00:47:21,131 It could be hours... or maybe it's been weeks. 798 00:47:21,131 --> 00:47:24,509 His uncle, whom Bill had not even noticed in the room, 799 00:47:24,509 --> 00:47:27,804 looks out the window and talks about Bill's mother. 800 00:47:27,804 --> 00:47:31,808 Then he says, "It's too bad people don't say how they feel 801 00:47:31,808 --> 00:47:35,937 until it's already too late." 802 00:47:35,937 --> 00:47:38,315 And then he says nothing. 803 00:47:38,315 --> 00:47:40,901 The TV in the room is always on mute 804 00:47:40,901 --> 00:47:42,444 and behind his uncle's head, 805 00:47:42,444 --> 00:47:46,615 Bill watches a superhero quietly melt a monster's face. 806 00:47:46,615 --> 00:47:49,826 His doctor visits and asks if Bill might be more comfortable 807 00:47:49,826 --> 00:47:52,746 at home for a few days under family care, 808 00:47:52,746 --> 00:47:54,372 until the final results come in. 809 00:47:54,372 --> 00:47:57,667 [a front door shuts] 810 00:47:57,667 --> 00:47:59,753 A neighbor must have put these groceries 811 00:47:59,753 --> 00:48:01,254 in his apartment for him, 812 00:48:01,254 --> 00:48:03,798 which was a very nice gesture. 813 00:48:08,970 --> 00:48:12,516 It's kind of a really nice day... 814 00:48:12,516 --> 00:48:16,394 he decides to walk around the block. 815 00:48:16,394 --> 00:48:18,897 On the side of the road, he sees a woman's tennis shoe 816 00:48:18,897 --> 00:48:24,486 filled with leaves, and it fills him with inexplicable sadness. 817 00:48:24,486 --> 00:48:27,364 He walks down his side street... 818 00:48:27,364 --> 00:48:31,493 ...alongside the bridge past the farmer's market... 819 00:48:31,493 --> 00:48:34,496 ...and back up the main thoroughfare. 820 00:48:44,130 --> 00:48:47,509 It's kind of a really nice day... 821 00:48:47,509 --> 00:48:51,012 he decides to take a walk around the block. 822 00:48:51,012 --> 00:48:53,598 On the side of the road, he sees a woman's tennis shoe 823 00:48:53,598 --> 00:48:59,729 filled with leaves, and it fills him with inexplicable sadness. 824 00:48:59,729 --> 00:49:02,399 He walks down his side street... 825 00:49:02,399 --> 00:49:07,153 ...alongside the bridge past the farmer's market... 826 00:49:07,153 --> 00:49:10,448 ...and back up the main thoroughfare. 827 00:49:17,497 --> 00:49:20,417 It's kind of a really nice day... 828 00:49:20,417 --> 00:49:23,753 he decides to take a walk around the blo-- 829 00:49:23,753 --> 00:49:30,051 [a front door shuts... quiet acoustic guitar music] 830 00:49:30,051 --> 00:49:32,470 That hand is dropping everything. 831 00:49:36,349 --> 00:49:41,187 Wasn't he supposed to call somebody? 832 00:49:41,187 --> 00:49:44,441 What was her name? 833 00:49:47,986 --> 00:49:52,991 What in the hell is wrong with this mug? 834 00:49:52,991 --> 00:49:57,078 Does he really need this much food? 835 00:49:57,078 --> 00:50:02,000 There's a doctor on his answering machine... 836 00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:06,713 has he been sick? 837 00:50:06,713 --> 00:50:10,175 A doctor carefully explains test results with him. 838 00:50:10,175 --> 00:50:12,385 He goes over numbers and information 839 00:50:12,385 --> 00:50:15,430 that Bill doesn't understand, and reiterates things 840 00:50:15,430 --> 00:50:17,349 that Bill doesn't remember. 841 00:50:17,349 --> 00:50:19,768 He's momentarily quiet... 842 00:50:19,768 --> 00:50:23,688 ....and then tells Bill he doesn't have very long to live. 843 00:50:33,198 --> 00:50:36,409 It's kind of a really nice day. 844 00:50:36,409 --> 00:50:39,120 He decides to walk around the block. 845 00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:40,372 On the side of the road he sees 846 00:50:40,372 --> 00:50:42,582 a woman's tennis shoe filled with leaves, 847 00:50:42,582 --> 00:50:44,626 and it fills him with inexplicable sadness. 848 00:50:44,626 --> 00:50:47,379 He walks down his side street and sees striking colors 849 00:50:47,379 --> 00:50:48,963 in the faces of the people around him... 850 00:50:48,963 --> 00:50:51,383 ...details in these beautiful brick walls 851 00:50:51,383 --> 00:50:53,802 and weeds that he must have passed every day 852 00:50:53,802 --> 00:50:54,636 but never noticed. 853 00:50:54,636 --> 00:50:56,304 The air smells different, 854 00:50:56,304 --> 00:50:58,682 brighter somehow, and the currents under the bridge 855 00:50:58,682 --> 00:51:02,811 look strange and vivid and the sun is warming his face 856 00:51:02,811 --> 00:51:06,314 and the world is clumsy and beautiful and new. 857 00:51:06,314 --> 00:51:07,691 [the beautiful music peaks and becomes overwhelming] 858 00:51:07,691 --> 00:51:09,859 And it's as though he's been sleepwalking, 859 00:51:09,859 --> 00:51:11,986 asleep for God knows how long, 860 00:51:11,986 --> 00:51:16,533 and something has violently shaken him... awake. 861 00:51:16,533 --> 00:51:20,078 His bathmats are gorgeous. 862 00:51:22,038 --> 00:51:25,125 The grain patterns in his cheap wood cabinets 863 00:51:25,125 --> 00:51:27,836 vibrate something deep within him. 864 00:51:27,836 --> 00:51:30,880 He's fascinated by the way his paper towels drink water. 865 00:51:30,880 --> 00:51:33,633 He's never really appreciated these things... 866 00:51:33,633 --> 00:51:35,135 all this detail. 867 00:51:35,135 --> 00:51:36,344 He's never noticed... 868 00:51:36,344 --> 00:51:38,263 ...detail......he's alive... 869 00:51:38,263 --> 00:51:38,888 ...he's never noticed... 870 00:51:38,888 --> 00:51:40,849 ...he's alive... 871 00:51:40,849 --> 00:51:45,520 he's alive... 872 00:51:45,520 --> 00:51:47,856 The stars rattle him to the core... 873 00:51:47,856 --> 00:51:50,024 how these lights have traveled for tens 874 00:51:50,024 --> 00:51:52,318 of millions of years to reach him at this moment... 875 00:51:52,318 --> 00:51:54,279 ...how somewhere far away our own sun looks 876 00:51:54,279 --> 00:51:55,321 just like one of these... 877 00:51:55,321 --> 00:51:57,615 ...how many of the stars no longer even exist, 878 00:51:57,615 --> 00:51:59,743 but whose ancient light is just reaching him now... 879 00:51:59,743 --> 00:52:01,828 an impression from a ghost... 880 00:52:01,828 --> 00:52:04,706 ...an amazing, infinite time machine every night 881 00:52:04,706 --> 00:52:08,251 above his head that he's ignored for most of his life. 882 00:52:08,251 --> 00:52:10,712 He wants to stop people in the street and say, 883 00:52:10,712 --> 00:52:12,881 "Isn't this amazing? 884 00:52:12,881 --> 00:52:15,633 Isn't everything amazing?" 885 00:52:15,633 --> 00:52:17,802 He runs to the car rental place 886 00:52:17,802 --> 00:52:20,555 and finds himself a freeway and drives all night, 887 00:52:20,555 --> 00:52:23,725 following directions in his head to a place he can't remember... 888 00:52:23,725 --> 00:52:27,145 absorbing everything he can before it all fades again 889 00:52:27,145 --> 00:52:28,855 with the morning. 890 00:52:28,855 --> 00:52:33,902 [the powerful music finally relents and it is quiet again] 891 00:52:33,902 --> 00:52:37,280 He's got the keys to this car. 892 00:52:39,741 --> 00:52:42,827 He also has keys to a motel room but he can't remember 893 00:52:42,827 --> 00:52:45,538 the last time he slept. 894 00:52:45,538 --> 00:52:50,376 He's sitting in the sun outside of a laundromat. 895 00:52:50,376 --> 00:52:54,172 An older guy in a baseball cap stands at a pay phone 896 00:52:54,172 --> 00:52:57,842 and nervously lifts and hangs up the receiver. 897 00:53:12,690 --> 00:53:14,943 He asks to borrow Bill's pencil 898 00:53:14,943 --> 00:53:17,445 and then places a call to his daughter. 899 00:53:17,445 --> 00:53:20,323 He tells her he loves her and he's proud of her 900 00:53:20,323 --> 00:53:24,118 and that one day soon, "We'll finally have our day." 901 00:53:24,118 --> 00:53:26,871 Then he says, "Fantastic, fantastic, 902 00:53:26,871 --> 00:53:28,456 and hangs up the phone. 903 00:53:28,456 --> 00:53:29,707 Although it looks like the wind 904 00:53:29,707 --> 00:53:31,084 had been knocked out of him, 905 00:53:31,084 --> 00:53:34,838 he presents the pencil back to Bill with a little flourish, 906 00:53:34,838 --> 00:53:37,590 as though proud no harm had come to it 907 00:53:37,590 --> 00:53:39,342 while in his possession. 908 00:53:41,594 --> 00:53:44,889 He dreams of fog on the dark edge of a cliff, 909 00:53:44,889 --> 00:53:46,474 where hundreds of feet below, 910 00:53:46,474 --> 00:53:49,644 the deep sea swells up against the rocks. 911 00:53:49,644 --> 00:53:52,146 And if you lean over the edge and squint your eyes 912 00:53:52,146 --> 00:53:55,483 just right, you can barely make out the gray shapes 913 00:53:55,483 --> 00:53:57,986 of all the cars that had driven off the cliff 914 00:53:57,986 --> 00:54:02,073 over the years, sunken deep beneath the surface. 915 00:54:02,073 --> 00:54:05,159 And as each wave washes slowly over them, 916 00:54:05,159 --> 00:54:07,996 the undertow quietly pulls their headlights 917 00:54:07,996 --> 00:54:10,999 on and off... 918 00:54:10,999 --> 00:54:14,794 ...on an endless loop, growing slowly dimmer over the years 919 00:54:14,794 --> 00:54:18,506 until the day comes that they fade completely. 920 00:54:18,506 --> 00:54:22,385 [silence] 921 00:54:22,385 --> 00:54:25,722 [soft chimes] 922 00:54:25,722 --> 00:54:27,765 He's at a house now. 923 00:54:27,765 --> 00:54:31,060 When he was little, he would run through a house just like this 924 00:54:31,060 --> 00:54:33,187 with a flashlight pointed at the ceiling, 925 00:54:33,187 --> 00:54:36,816 pretending he was an astronaut soaring over the moon. 926 00:54:36,816 --> 00:54:37,400 [sad and beautiful piano music begins] 927 00:54:37,400 --> 00:54:39,110 A familiar person's here. 928 00:54:39,110 --> 00:54:40,904 He's not sure how he found him, 929 00:54:40,904 --> 00:54:43,239 maybe he's been followed, but they're talking now 930 00:54:43,239 --> 00:54:44,908 and Bill is given an address. 931 00:54:44,908 --> 00:54:48,119 An address his mother never wanted him to have, he says, 932 00:54:48,119 --> 00:54:50,163 but it's important Bill have it now. 933 00:54:50,163 --> 00:54:52,582 An address where he can find his father. 934 00:54:52,582 --> 00:54:54,125 Bill's real father. 935 00:54:54,125 --> 00:54:56,836 A man who was gone before he was born, 936 00:54:56,836 --> 00:55:01,049 a man he'd only met once but was too young to know it. 937 00:55:04,552 --> 00:55:07,055 And he's driving again now, for several hours, 938 00:55:07,055 --> 00:55:08,264 he's not sure... 939 00:55:08,264 --> 00:55:11,184 ...and with every mile he loses a few more memories... 940 00:55:11,184 --> 00:55:12,894 ...and he finds another motel, 941 00:55:12,894 --> 00:55:14,938 and that night he eats a lot of ice cream 942 00:55:14,938 --> 00:55:17,899 and doesn't remember his dreams at all... 943 00:55:20,735 --> 00:55:24,030 He's in a nursing home.... 944 00:55:24,030 --> 00:55:26,574 is he old? 945 00:55:26,574 --> 00:55:30,620 A room full of windows... 946 00:55:30,620 --> 00:55:32,789 And he gives a name on a paper that's not in his handwriting 947 00:55:32,789 --> 00:55:34,415 to the front counter... 948 00:55:34,415 --> 00:55:37,710 ...and a frail old man is being wheeled to see him now... 949 00:55:37,710 --> 00:55:40,338 ...a man who's been here for over ten years, 950 00:55:40,338 --> 00:55:45,009 but rarely had a visitor. 951 00:55:49,806 --> 00:55:52,600 Neither of these two people remember why they're there, 952 00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:55,395 or who exactly this other person is. 953 00:55:55,395 --> 00:56:00,400 But they sit and they watch a game show together. 954 00:56:02,527 --> 00:56:04,612 And when it's time for bill to leave, 955 00:56:04,612 --> 00:56:07,532 he stands and says something beautiful to him. 956 00:56:10,326 --> 00:56:12,745 And neither of them understand what he means exactly, 957 00:56:12,745 --> 00:56:15,581 but the old man begins to cry anyway... 958 00:56:15,581 --> 00:56:17,750 and they will never see each other again. 959 00:56:17,750 --> 00:56:20,420 [the piano music fades away] 960 00:56:20,420 --> 00:56:22,046 He's driving a car. 961 00:56:22,046 --> 00:56:24,590 And every time he realizes he's driving a car, 962 00:56:24,590 --> 00:56:27,468 he figures he should just keep driving the car. 963 00:56:27,468 --> 00:56:29,262 And sometimes he sings. 964 00:56:29,262 --> 00:56:30,805 And sometimes he cries. 965 00:56:30,805 --> 00:56:32,890 And the left side of his body is beginning 966 00:56:32,890 --> 00:56:34,809 to grow slack and numb. 967 00:56:34,809 --> 00:56:37,395 And all he wants to do is just keep driving, 968 00:56:37,395 --> 00:56:39,022 somehow to keep on driving, 969 00:56:39,022 --> 00:56:40,898 he has no more directions to follow 970 00:56:40,898 --> 00:56:43,860 but he fills the car with gas again and again 971 00:56:43,860 --> 00:56:45,528 and keeps going into the night, 972 00:56:45,528 --> 00:56:49,907 he wants to keep going, he wants to go forever... 973 00:57:13,723 --> 00:57:16,934 It's such a beautiful day. 974 00:57:21,856 --> 00:57:23,191 Wait a minute. 975 00:57:23,191 --> 00:57:25,526 He's not going to die here... 976 00:57:25,526 --> 00:57:26,444 but he doesn't die here. 977 00:57:26,444 --> 00:57:26,903 No, no, no, no, no. 978 00:57:26,903 --> 00:57:27,403 Bill, get up. 979 00:57:27,403 --> 00:57:28,071 Bill? 980 00:57:28,071 --> 00:57:28,696 Get up, Bill. 981 00:57:28,696 --> 00:57:30,073 No, he can't die here. 982 00:57:30,073 --> 00:57:31,324 He's not gonna die here. 983 00:57:31,324 --> 00:57:32,909 He can't ever die. 984 00:57:32,909 --> 00:57:34,202 Bill?..... 985 00:57:34,202 --> 00:57:35,787 Bill? 986 00:57:37,705 --> 00:57:41,417 [beautiful orchestral music begins] 987 00:57:41,417 --> 00:57:44,545 He will spend hundreds of years traveling the world, 988 00:57:44,545 --> 00:57:47,840 learning all there is to know. 989 00:57:47,840 --> 00:57:51,094 He will learn every language. 990 00:57:51,094 --> 00:57:55,056 He will read every book. 991 00:57:55,056 --> 00:57:59,143 He will know every land. 992 00:57:59,143 --> 00:58:01,562 He will spend thousands of years 993 00:58:01,562 --> 00:58:04,899 creating stunning works of art. 994 00:58:07,527 --> 00:58:11,280 He will learn to meditate to control all pain. 995 00:58:11,280 --> 00:58:14,784 As wars will be fought... 996 00:58:14,784 --> 00:58:17,870 and great loves found... 997 00:58:20,456 --> 00:58:23,042 ...and lost. 998 00:58:23,042 --> 00:58:25,711 And found... 999 00:58:28,214 --> 00:58:30,258 ...lost... 1000 00:58:30,258 --> 00:58:31,509 and found. 1001 00:58:31,509 --> 00:58:32,927 [brief static noises as the picture seems to malfunction] 1002 00:58:32,927 --> 00:58:35,138 And found... 1003 00:58:35,138 --> 00:58:37,431 ...and found... 1004 00:58:37,431 --> 00:58:42,145 ...and memories built upon memories until life runs 1005 00:58:42,145 --> 00:58:44,689 on an endless loop. 1006 00:58:44,689 --> 00:58:50,444 [more static malfunction noises] 1007 00:58:50,444 --> 00:58:54,907 He will father hundreds of thousands of children... 1008 00:58:54,907 --> 00:58:56,951 ...whose own exponential offspring 1009 00:58:56,951 --> 00:59:01,497 he'll slowly lose track of through the years. 1010 00:59:01,497 --> 00:59:04,834 Whose millions of beautiful lives will all eventually 1011 00:59:04,834 --> 00:59:07,795 be swept again from the Earth. 1012 00:59:11,465 --> 00:59:15,845 And still, Bill will continue. 1013 00:59:15,845 --> 00:59:21,809 He will learn more about life than any being in history. 1014 00:59:21,809 --> 00:59:26,814 But death will forever be a stranger to him. 1015 00:59:26,814 --> 00:59:28,649 People will come and go, 1016 00:59:28,649 --> 00:59:31,652 until names lose all meaning. 1017 00:59:31,652 --> 00:59:33,571 Until people lose all meaning 1018 00:59:33,571 --> 00:59:35,823 and vanish entirely from the world. 1019 00:59:35,823 --> 00:59:39,702 [a flutter of wings] 1020 00:59:39,702 --> 00:59:45,291 And still, Bill will live on. 1021 00:59:45,291 --> 00:59:49,128 He will befriend the next inhabitants of the Earth. 1022 00:59:49,128 --> 00:59:53,382 Beings of light who revere him as a god. 1023 00:59:53,382 --> 00:59:57,678 [low electrical hum] 1024 00:59:57,678 --> 01:00:02,600 And Bill will outlive them all. 1025 01:00:02,600 --> 01:00:07,980 For millions and millions of years. 1026 01:00:07,980 --> 01:00:11,943 Exploring, learning, living... 1027 01:00:11,943 --> 01:00:14,820 Until the Earth is swallowed beneath his feet. 1028 01:00:14,820 --> 01:00:19,242 [the music swells] 1029 01:00:19,242 --> 01:00:22,578 Until the Sun is long since gone. 1030 01:00:26,791 --> 01:00:30,253 Until time loses all meaning and the moment comes 1031 01:00:30,253 --> 01:00:33,381 that he knows only the positions of the stars... 1032 01:00:33,381 --> 01:00:37,843 ...and sees them whether his eyes are closed or open. 1033 01:00:37,843 --> 01:00:39,762 Until he forgets his name 1034 01:00:39,762 --> 01:00:44,308 and the place where he'd once come from. 1035 01:00:44,308 --> 01:00:47,103 He lives and he lives, 1036 01:00:47,103 --> 01:00:50,523 until all of the lights go out. 77491

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