Original subtitles

Birth while on Fargo.

Mom home?

Yeah. Let's eat. I'm starving.

FBI. Well, I called a couple times now about the Fargo syndicate massacre.

I might know the fellow responsible.

Jesus. This is where you work now.

I have a commendation. I give you insurance salesman of the year, Lester

Nygaard.

So proud of you, Lester.

Oh, miss, can we get some more sparkling water?

Oh

And this is any animal.

Pig, gopher, chicken.

They go long enough without sleep, you start to see abnormalities behavior

-wise.

First, there's the inability to concentrate and perform certain fine

skills. Then you start to see, and the Army did studies on this in the 50s, the

effects of sleep deprivation on the human brain.

I know because a buddy of mine's dad was a subject back during the Korean

conflict. I mean, shit, Ray, what's the longest you've ever gone without sleep?

Uh, uh, uh -huh.

Five days for me.

This was back in dental school.

Marty Perlmutter stole a prescription pad, wrote us all a script for

amphetamines so we could cram for finals.

And boy, how do I tell you, after three days of no sleeping, I was an animal.

All right, mi amigo.

That ought to do it.

I'm still a little worried about the 203 and the 204, so we should make an

appointment to get together again in about six months.

Appreciate it, Doc.

Really. This black fellow rolled over my foot with a steam cleaner, and I'll

tell you, this hurt worse than that did by a long shot.

Yeah, nerve pain. It's a bear.

Oh, you want to avoid nut brittles for a few days and any kind of fruit with

pits. Jim has got a pamphlet.

All right.

Okay. Yo!

McMike!

We still on for golf next week?

Of course we are, Bertie Bert.

But more importantly, are you and Louise still going to make it on Sunday?

Do dogs smell each other's butts?

I think I might have observed that type of behavior on occasion.

Well, we'll be there.

Wheezy's making a famous five -bean dip.

Aces.

Thanks, babe.

Oh, Mickey Mike.

I just keep pinching myself.

Well, honey, you've earned it.

It's like my mama always said, boys.

If you like the milk, buy the freaking cow.

Oh, that's so sweet.

Well, I am going to stick my whole thumb up your ass later.

Aces.

Yellow. Hey, hey.

Now, darling, is this guy bothering you or what?

You. We're going to tie one on tonight, friend -o, I'm telling you.

No time like the present. That's what I always say. Yeah. The bean dip?

You betcha.

Oh, you look great.

Too old.

Iced wine.

My mind says they swear by this stuff and send them.

Well, they're a bunch of sex -crazed alcoholics, so they should know, right?

Sweet.

Wheezy says, uh, pop the question, gonna make Jim an honest woman?

Oh, yeah, I cried like a baby.

I'm not afraid to admit it. She's something else, Jim.

It's between us girls.

That body, is it, uh, I mean, what's she like in the sack?

Hellcat.

It's the only word for it. Shit.

Wheezy's basically a Jew in the bedroom.

Oh, you mean she wears a wig and makes you do it through a hole in the sheet,

yeah.

No. No.

She stopped putting it in her mouth.

As soon as the ring went on her finger.

Well, that's a national tragedy, Bert.

Amen.

Got to tell you, McMike, I sure do like having you around.

Well, likewise, Bertie Bert.

Office was dead dull till you showed up.

Positively geriatric.

I'm a rascal. There's no two ways about it.

Yes, sirree, Bob.

I think I told you before, you and my brother.

Get a little of the gangbusters.

Well, I'd like to meet him.

Like I said, tricky.

He, uh... He's in witness protection.

Say what?

He's in witness protection.

Turned State 7 against these mob guys out of Chicago.

Told them not to.

Now I haven't seen him in over a year.

He still calls, though.

Not supposed to, you know, but he can't break up the Canton boys.

I'll bet you.

Oh, screw it. What are you doing next weekend?

You tell me.

Like that, you tell me.

Well, he said they were headed for Vegas.

A little family reunion. What if you and Gemma tag along?

So I come in and sit down. Hi, I'm Dr. Marcus.

Well,

honey, can we get some more sparkling water?

Thank you.

I put my mask on.

Tony hands me the number two needle.

I start to give the guy a no -can -shot.

Well, I stick the needle in my own finger.

And it hurt, but I don't want to look dumb, so I try it again.

Next time, I stick it in my thumb.

Now I'm so flustered that I go to take my mask off. Well, I'm still holding the

needle. Jab it right in my face.

And the patient is like, Doc, what's wrong? And I'm like, I don't know.

I mean,

it was insane.

You're a riot.

He's a riot.

Oh, you have no idea.

All right, so we are all set for tomorrow. You'll see.

You know who.

It should be fun.

Real clandestine stuff.

Changed cars twice.

No phones.

Jeez. Who did you say is after this guy again?

Well, what are the odds?

Sorry?

It's me, Lester.

Oh, I'm sorry, sir. You must have me confused with someone. No.

Minnesota last year?

The emergency room?

I didn't recognize you at first either because you had a whole new...

But hey, so am I.

Why don't you hang the suit?

The last.

Check this out.

Salesman of the year.

Gave it to me on a stage and everything.

Uh, Mick, are you going to introduce us to your friend there?

You know, I'd love to, Bert, but unfortunately I've never met this man

my life.

What?

Right, gentlemen.

We don't know each other.

Okay, honey, let's go.

We're never going to make the show if we don't get out of here.

Walk away.

Sorry, I must have... Congratulations on your award. Thank you.

Come on.

He's a piece of work, huh? Who's that?

That guy in the bar.

He sure is. You don't know him? People nab me all the time. Just one of those

faces, I guess.

No.

You don't get to... I'm sorry to interrupt, but it's not right. When

not right, well, the old Lester, you know, he would have just let it slide.

But not this guy.

I've worked too hard.

I've come too far. Lester, stop.

Oh, so now you do know me.

Honey?

Is this what you want?

I... Hey, Mick Mike.

Lighten up, huh?

Lester?

Is this what you want?

Yes or no?

Yes.

Oh,

Mike.

That's on you.

months, Lister. Six months.

Can you imagine the number of sewer mouths I put my hands in?

The gallons of human spit?

Plus the $100 ,000 bounty down the toilet.

Still,

the look on his face when I pull a gun, classic, huh?

Grab the fat guy's feet, we'll throw him in the dumpster.

Shit, Lester.

See you later, Lester.

See you soon.

Are you okay?

Get dressed.

Get dressed. Get dressed. Get dressed. Come on.

Keep up hunting.

A man has a fox, a rabbit, and a cabbage. What man?

Any man.

A man.

Colonel Sanders?

Could be. Could be George W. Bush.

Why would George W. Bush have a fox and a rabbit and a cabbage? Just listen.

A man has a fox, a rabbit, and a cabbage, and he wants to get across the

but his boat can only carry one of them at a time. Get a bigger boat. No, no,

that's not an option. And here's the problem. If the man leaves the fox and

rabbit alone...

The fox is going to eat the rabbit, and the same for the rabbit and the cabbage.

So, how does the man get all three of his items across the river without

any of them?

Utter ducking.

Oh, what's that now?

He stuffs the cabbage in the rabbit, and the rabbit in the fox, and he eats all

of them.

That's not the answer.

It's an answer.

Hello.

Incoming or outgoing?

I need you to pull the syndicate file.

Why?

Is it like a clown car back there?

Why do you need the syndicate file?

Yeah, did something happen with the case? A break?

No, just a phone call I got a lot.

Phone call from who? Yeah, who called?

That's really not your business.

Hey.

Deputy Salverson. Where's Salverson? What does he say? Says he knows who did

Where's Bemidji?

Thanks, Dad.

I think I look cool with a limp.

Solid profile of Bill on the paper.

Yeah.

For the record, I advised against wearing a sword in that picture.

Honey, that's a sir.

Yeah. Anyway, I'm in charge today on account of... Bill's on his way to St.

now for a, uh, what do you call it?

Law enforcement conference.

So, watch your butts.

How's the route?

Can't complain.

It takes me out by the lake. It's a nice drive.

Dated the girl who delivered my mail once.

After her mother.

Convenient at first.

Awkward after.

Once we broke up.

Seen her every day.

Ended up moving to a different neighborhood.

So that's why we moved.

No, you could have just had your mail sent to work.

Never thought of that.

So when's your last day?

About a month. She's nesting.

Oh, jeez.

You need to buy one pro pillow.

We better.

Bye. Bye, kid.

Go fishing later?

She had a granddaughter. I always wanted one, but was afraid to buy one.

Bye.

You did good, huh?

Yeah, and you by proximity, huh?

Salverson.

Bill. Yeah, no, he's in the Twin Cities.

Ah, geez.

Three people, huh?

Killed how?

An elevator, huh?

You say one's a dentist?

Yeah.

What, a Las Vegas police want me to... Oh, sure.

Yeah.

Yeah, no, I can go see their witness.

What's the witness's name, then?

Will you slow down?

I think we're being chased.

Sorry.

Was it me?

Did I do something?

What? No, I told you. I made a lot of new contacts.

The woods.

Big fish. You have to strike while the iron's hot.

I know, but you woke me up in the middle of the night. Oh, I'll make it up to

you. How's that?

Hey, we can take a trip.

Anywhere you want to go.

Natalie says in Acapulco you get to drink rum right out of the coconut.

Acapulco it is.

In fact, why don't we should leave tonight?

Really? Sure, yeah. I mean, why not? A little fun in the sun, drink a coconut.

We deserve it, huh?

What about work? You're a big fish.

You only live once, right?

Let's just... We'll go home, pack some stuff, then head back to the airport.

Have our toes in the sand by dawn. A real adventure.

Oh, Lester.

Okay. Now, here is what you're going to do.

You're going to go inside and pack your best bikini, and I am going to get

changed and head to the office. I'm going to buy the tickets, get the

and then we are going to run away together.

Heck, we might never come back.

Thanks, hon.

Here we go.

So I checked, and there's an 11 o 'clock out in Minneapolis, so we should be on

the road by 6. Okay.

I'll defrost that pea soup. We can have that before we go.

Oh, yeah, sounds good.

Love you, hon.

Love you, too.

Oh,

scared me there.

Startled me.

Mr. Niger, Deputy Salverson, maybe you remember.

Yeah, sure. I'm sorry to bother you, but we got a call from Las Vegas PD.

What? Las Vegas police.

And they said you were, that you might be a witness to a murder.

Three murders, actually.

Lester? It's fine.

Go back to your show.

Is everything okay?

Oh, yes, ma 'am. It's just a routine inquiry.

Now a good time to ask you a few questions?

No.

Oh.

I mean, I got an appointment. I got to get to work, and Linda's got shopping.

Now, Lester, don't be rude.

We just got back from Las Vegas.

Can you tell me what this is about, or is that classified?

Oh, well, yeah, actually... Why don't I... I could come to the station this

afternoon and give a statement.

Not that I, you know, saw anything.

Honestly, Lester, stay or go, but I got a bladder the size of a penny, so... Oh,

you poor thing. Please come in. Thank you.

Thank you.

Hey, guys.

Is your dad around?

Yeah.

Daddy!

Dad!

Help you?

Oh, I'm not sure. I'm looking for Lester Nygaard.

Oh, yeah, we bought the place from him in the fall. Nice guy.

Yeah, that's Lester, all right. Nicest guy you'll ever meet. You got any idea

how I can find him?

Uh, don't have a forwarding address.

He's got the shop over on 3rd, though.

Is that Bo Monk?

Nah. Got his own place now with his name on it. Oh, nice.

Like I said, over on 3rd. You can't miss it. Okay, thanks.

Oh, one more thing. You do know people were murdered in this house, right?

Hell of a thing.

Man in the living room, shotgun, woman in the basement.

I think it was a hammering.

Afterwards, Lester told me he used to hear noises coming from the basement at

night.

footsteps on the stairs, a woman moaning, that kind of thing.

But I'm sure it was in his head.

You have a nice day. Have fun, kids.

So you won an award.

That's right.

Salesman of the Year.

Oh, yeah.

It was a national competition.

Then it was dinner with Buck Young, who's the head of the whole deal that

the award.

That was some spread. I think we closed that place down drinking.

And I said, I'm still up for some fun, and Linda said she wanted to go to bed.

I'm a morning person. Yeah, but then I thought, heck, how often does something

like this happen?

you know, winning an award. So, yeah, a nightcap, you know, to celebrate.

I told him to go.

Yeah, so, sure. So I went to the bar.

And this is the bar at the hotel?

Yes, sir.

Yes, ma 'am.

Excuse me.

The Royale, I guess it's called.

I ordered a drink, had a chat with the bartender for a bit.

Male or female?

Female.

The woman.

But, you know.

One drink and I'm back up here at the bed. And what happened on the elevator?

Nothing.

I mean, it went up.

So everyone on the elevator was alive when you got off?

Oh, yeah. They sure were.

They were laughing about something.

Friday night in Vegas. That is someplace, I tell you.

Linda and me, we've never been before.

What I love most are the fountains.

Also, you can gamble at the airport.

Right.

Well, I checked, and it looks like you changed your flight at the last minute

come back on the first flight.

So, what was the reason there?

That was me.

My idea.

I just... I got homesick, you know?

Woke Lester up in the middle of the night and told him, did we have to stay

another day?

I was ready to go home.

Yeah, that's right.

That is right.

And I remember I said, Babe, the room is paid for through till Sunday,

but she was adamant. I tend to get my way.

Oh, boy, does she.

Okay, then. Well, thank you for your time, Mr. Nygaard.

This is?

When's the due date?

Oh, I've got a few weeks still.

Listen, Vegas PD is going to send over some pictures from the hotel security

camera. So don't leave town for a while. I may have some more questions for you.

Oh, shoot.

We were going to go... Absolutely.

Absolutely. We'll be right here if you need us.

Yeah, this is for... Oh, yeah?

To the diner?

Okay,

then. Will do.

Coffee? Yeah, decaf if you got it.

And a piece of pie.

I got apple and cherry.

No good ever came from a piece of cherry pie.

Thanks, friend.

Local PD?

State cop.

18 years.

You got to look.

I spent some time with the Tampa DA.

Lawyer?

Yeah, something like that.

So you may be able to help me.

Well, if I can.

I'm in town for not too much time, just passing through, really.

But I wanted to look up my old pal Lester Nygaard.

Oh, sure, I know Lester.

You go by his shop?

Oh, first thing, but when you know it, they're closed.

Went by the house, too, except it turns out he's moved.

No kidding.

So you can see my predicament.

You try calling him?

Yeah, I could do that, but I was kind of hoping to surprise him.

That's Pickle.

Yep.

That's your boy?

In a way.

My daughter's husband.

They look happy.

Of course, no one hangs the sad pictures, am I right?

Mom crying, a dad looking angry, a kid with a black eye.

How long did you say you worked for the Tampa DA?

Oh, I didn't say I worked there.

I spent some time, that's all.

But that's just me, a traveler.

Big cities and small towns.

Open road.

Which is why I thought, here we are.

What do you call it?

A tight -knit community.

So I'd rather just ask.

So here I am, asking you if you know where I can find old Lester.

Had a case once.

Back in 79.

I'd tell you the details, but it sounded like I made them up.

Madness, really.

Bodies?

Yes, sir.

One after another.

Probably... If you stacked them high...

Could have climbed to the second floor.

Yeah. I saw something that year.

I ain't never seen.

Before or since.

I'd call it animal.

Except... Animals only kill for food.

This one.

Sioux Falls.

Ever been?

Went to Sioux City once, back in my scandalous days.

But, um, anyway, you didn't answer my question there.

Well, I'll tell you what.

You, uh, you leave me your number, I'll make sure Lester gets it next time he

comes in.

Well, that's a solid offer, friend, but, uh, like I said, uh, just pass it

through.

Thanks for the pie and the coffee.

I haven't had a piece of pie like that since the Garden of Eden.

Hey, Dad.

Hey, hon.

Everything okay?

Oh, yeah.

Sometimes you just get a weird one.

Well, I'm supposed to meet a couple of fellows from the... Never mind. I see

them.

Hi there.

I'm, uh... Deputy Salverson.

That's right.

I'm Agent Budge. This is Agent Pepper, FBI, from Fargo.

We went by the station. They told us you'd be here.

Am now.

Should we grab a table?

We made a phone call to the field office yesterday about the massacre last year.

Did you know who shot up the syndicate building? Called seven times, according

to the file. Wouldn't take no for an answer.

I'm not clear on... I mean, the FBI sent a fella already.

He looked at my evidence and said it was circumstantial. A worker bee. Or what

do the ants call them? A drone.

We're invested.

Got a personal stake.

That's what my partner... We were there.

on the day at the syndicate surveillance day 156 logging the comings and goings

six months and nothing happened going crazy and then yeah so uh you see we're

invested personally uh like i said and when we heard you called that you have

answer so please we we have to know who is he

Dad, I think we're going to need some coffees to go.

My God.

You put all this together yourself?

Oh, no.

Well, Gus helped me.

My husband.

He used to be Duluth PD.

He's a mailman now.

But you can see why I think this is your guy.

Okay, I'm here. Hey, Chief, these fellows... I'm the chief here. Sorry I

around. Bob was at a conference, so... And then Cindy called and said there

two agents from the FBI here.

Oh, no.

No, Chief, listen... No, no, no. I am so sorry. I'm so sorry.

Molly, these guys aren't interested in... Let's meet in my office.

Have you seen this?

Have I seen this?

Son, this thing's been giving me nightmares.

Come on now, that's not fair.

Well, she did tell you that we caught the guy responsible for killing the

didn't she?

You know, the brother Nygaard. And he had the bloody hammer. So, you don't

about the fact that this Malvo character was seen with Lester at the hospital?

Or that he ended up in Duluth in direct conflict with these other two?

No, because that...

What happened in Duluth?

I'm going to call HQ and let them know we'll be staying the night.

We can take another run at Lester tomorrow.

Is there a motel?

Yeah, sure, I can... I'll get you directions.

This is tremendous work, Deputy.

Impressive.

Okay. All set.

Ready to go?

What? I thought we were going to go.

Acapulco, here we come.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, you betcha.

I talked to the deputy.

She said, sure, go. So now we just got to swing by the office and pick up the

passports. What about my coat? Oh, you're not going to need a winter coat

we're going.

You know I had a crush on you right from when we met?

Oh, yeah?

Swear to God.

You used to sit at my desk and dream about you leaving your wife or somehow

getting her out of the picture.

Not that I wanted... No, of course not.

Nothing wrong with dreaming.

Oh, I agree.

Cinderella, yeah?

You know... I remember when I was three, and I told you how we came over to

America, settled in Minnesota, and my folks bought the motel.

Oh, yeah? Well, they put me right to work.

Just laundry at first, and making the beds, and cleaning the rooms.

You don't even want to know the disarray people leave behind.

No, I bet.

One time, I'll never forget this.

I was changing the sheets on a king size, and I...

Suddenly, I'm like, what's that smell?

Well, the guest did.

He made a B .M. between the mattress and the box spring.

What? I guess he took the mattress off and did it and then made the bed back

which it's a lot simpler just to go to the toilet.

My point being.

That while I was cleaning up, I had this dream that someone, a man,

would come along and take me away from all this.

And then I met you.

And here we are.

We're going to Acapulco.

I thought we were going to the show. We are.

I just, you know, I see it gets right up front.

Lester? You know, I hate to do this, but... I kind of tweak my back before

getting the luggage out of the car.

Oh, you poor baby.

So, do you think you could run in? The passports are in the safe. There's some

cash in there, too.

Can you... Will you do that for me? Of course.

Linda.

It's cold out there.

It's too weird.

Oh, uh... Put your hood up, huh?

That ain't for your pretty face to freeze.

Now I get it.