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1
00:00:02,567 --> 00:00:04,066
Okay!
We're all set for prom.
2
00:00:04,067 --> 00:00:05,274
I just booked us a limo
3
00:00:05,275 --> 00:00:06,899
and paid extra
to have them stretch it.
4
00:00:06,900 --> 00:00:08,441
I can't wait.
But you know the deal.
5
00:00:08,442 --> 00:00:10,066
You have to complete
your life skills list first.
6
00:00:10,067 --> 00:00:12,274
I've been checking stuff
off the list all week.
7
00:00:12,275 --> 00:00:14,316
In fact,
there's only one item left.
8
00:00:14,317 --> 00:00:18,274
Number 70-- "Teach Dad
to shoot a three-pointer."
9
00:00:18,275 --> 00:00:19,441
Why is this on the list?
10
00:00:19,442 --> 00:00:21,232
Because it's hilarious.
11
00:00:21,233 --> 00:00:23,024
Because I want Taylor
to learn
12
00:00:23,025 --> 00:00:24,274
to communicate
effectively
13
00:00:24,275 --> 00:00:25,607
while also spending
some time with you.
14
00:00:25,608 --> 00:00:26,899
Smart.
Mm-hmm.
15
00:00:26,900 --> 00:00:28,774
Mr. A, you'll be shooting
threes in no time
16
00:00:28,775 --> 00:00:30,899
because Taylor
is an awesome teacher.
Eh.
17
00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:31,899
If it wasn't for her,
18
00:00:31,900 --> 00:00:33,607
I'd still be rocking
Velcro shoes.
19
00:00:33,608 --> 00:00:36,649
The trick was to say "loops"
instead of "bunny ears."
20
00:00:36,650 --> 00:00:39,399
Trip didn't like imagining
tying bunny ears together.
21
00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:40,692
Because then
he couldn't breathe.
22
00:00:43,067 --> 00:00:45,107
Crom is gonna be
the best.
The best.
23
00:00:45,108 --> 00:00:47,149
You guys can't go to prom.
You're sophomores.
24
00:00:47,150 --> 00:00:49,149
That's right.
You losers are going to prom
25
00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:51,816
while Cooper and I are attending
the hottest party of the year.
26
00:00:51,817 --> 00:00:53,066
Crom!
Crom!
27
00:00:53,067 --> 00:00:54,316
What the hell is Crom?
28
00:00:54,317 --> 00:00:56,816
It's the prom alternative
Cooper's throwing on his yacht
29
00:00:56,817 --> 00:00:59,107
that's gonna be way better
than any school dance.
30
00:00:59,108 --> 00:01:00,816
Crom has everything--
31
00:01:00,817 --> 00:01:03,024
Mock-tails,
designer life vests,
32
00:01:03,025 --> 00:01:04,399
and DJ Khaled.
33
00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:06,941
At prom, Principal Ablin is
spinning from 6:00 to 8:00.
34
00:01:06,942 --> 00:01:08,982
Then his deejay alter ego
MouseFace
35
00:01:08,983 --> 00:01:10,441
is taking over
from 8:00 to 10:00.
36
00:01:10,442 --> 00:01:11,566
Do you want to help me pick out
the hors d'oeuvres
37
00:01:11,567 --> 00:01:12,732
for Crom tonight?
38
00:01:12,733 --> 00:01:15,191
I've got five local caterers
battling it out.
39
00:01:15,192 --> 00:01:16,941
The winner not only
gets the gig,
40
00:01:16,942 --> 00:01:18,899
they become sous-chef
for my Goldendoodles.
41
00:01:18,900 --> 00:01:20,191
I can't.
I have to go.
42
00:01:20,192 --> 00:01:21,482
I have a shift
at Teen Help Line.
43
00:01:21,483 --> 00:01:23,566
But I'm a teen.
I need help.
44
00:01:23,567 --> 00:01:25,732
Do I serve seared foie gras
with mission fig,
45
00:01:25,733 --> 00:01:28,524
or do I go with the classic
French Coquilles Saint-Jacques?
46
00:01:28,525 --> 00:01:29,732
I hear you.
47
00:01:29,733 --> 00:01:31,774
It's important to know
that you're not alone.
48
00:01:31,775 --> 00:01:33,107
Teens all across
the country
49
00:01:33,108 --> 00:01:34,941
are going through
exactly the same...
50
00:01:34,942 --> 00:01:36,608
You know what?
It doesn't work with this.
51
00:01:39,525 --> 00:01:40,607
Hi.
52
00:01:40,608 --> 00:01:41,649
Bye.
53
00:01:41,650 --> 00:01:42,774
Anna-Kat, don't run off.
54
00:01:42,775 --> 00:01:44,232
Come here and tell me
about your day.
55
00:01:44,233 --> 00:01:45,441
Ugh. Seriously?
56
00:01:45,442 --> 00:01:47,566
So, she's officially
a tween.
57
00:01:47,567 --> 00:01:49,066
I hate the yelling,
but I do enjoy the part
58
00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:50,566
where they think they've
discovered The Beatles.
59
00:01:50,567 --> 00:01:52,441
She's still a baby.
60
00:01:52,442 --> 00:01:53,482
What?
61
00:01:53,483 --> 00:01:55,357
How was the day
with your friends?
62
00:01:55,358 --> 00:01:56,982
Good.
What did you guys do?
63
00:01:56,983 --> 00:01:58,191
Stuff.
64
00:01:58,192 --> 00:01:59,857
Can you give me
more than one word, please?
65
00:01:59,858 --> 00:02:01,817
Yes. Byeeeee.
66
00:02:05,150 --> 00:02:06,732
I'm getting iced out.
67
00:02:06,733 --> 00:02:08,691
They say parenting is a long
process of letting go.
68
00:02:08,692 --> 00:02:09,732
It's really
a long process
69
00:02:09,733 --> 00:02:11,191
of getting yelled at
and pushed away.
70
00:02:11,192 --> 00:02:14,232
I don't know why I let you
talk me into having kids.
71
00:02:14,233 --> 00:02:15,233
This is on you.
72
00:02:25,483 --> 00:02:27,899
{\an8}Principal Ablin
just e-mailed.
73
00:02:27,900 --> 00:02:31,732
{\an8}Apparently, there have been
instances of hurt feelings
74
00:02:31,733 --> 00:02:33,024
{\an8}in Anna-Kat's class,
75
00:02:33,025 --> 00:02:34,107
and he wants the parents
76
00:02:34,108 --> 00:02:36,732
{\an8}to talk to the kids
about bullying.
77
00:02:36,733 --> 00:02:37,857
I think that's
a very good idea.
78
00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:39,066
You would.
79
00:02:39,067 --> 00:02:41,399
Principal Ablin
is overreacting.
80
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:43,566
When I was a kid,
everyone got teased a little,
81
00:02:43,567 --> 00:02:45,066
and it helped
build character.
82
00:02:45,067 --> 00:02:46,732
{\an8}You were teased, too?
Of course not.
83
00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:49,316
{\an8}I did the teasing,
and I built a lot of character.
84
00:02:49,317 --> 00:02:50,649
{\an8}If someone teased you,
you would say,
85
00:02:50,650 --> 00:02:52,274
{\an8}"Sticks and stones
may break my bones,
86
00:02:52,275 --> 00:02:53,524
but words
will never hurt me."
87
00:02:53,525 --> 00:02:54,649
But words do hurt,
Katie.
88
00:02:54,650 --> 00:02:56,067
Not more than sticks!
89
00:02:57,067 --> 00:02:59,441
{\an8}If we make a big deal about
"instances of hurt feelings,"
90
00:02:59,442 --> 00:03:00,607
{\an8}then Anna-Kat
will never become
91
00:03:00,608 --> 00:03:02,482
{\an8}the strong person
that we want her to be.
92
00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:05,107
{\an8}Interesting coming from a woman
who bullied her gym teacher
93
00:03:05,108 --> 00:03:06,274
{\an8}until he quit his job.
94
00:03:06,275 --> 00:03:07,399
{\an8}It wasn't my fault.
95
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:08,566
{\an8}He was a grown man
named Carroll.
96
00:03:08,567 --> 00:03:09,816
Blame his parents.
97
00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:15,191
{\an8}Okay, guys, I have a couple
of prom calls on hold.
98
00:03:15,192 --> 00:03:17,524
{\an8}We are going to have
a high volume of them today
99
00:03:17,525 --> 00:03:19,649
because it is the weekend
of Westport prom.
100
00:03:19,650 --> 00:03:20,650
{\an8}And Crom!
101
00:03:21,692 --> 00:03:24,441
{\an8}All dances can bring out
feelings of rejection,
102
00:03:24,442 --> 00:03:26,732
{\an8}so this is a tough time
for the kids.
103
00:03:26,733 --> 00:03:27,732
{\an8}And me.
104
00:03:27,733 --> 00:03:29,399
{\an8}Deborah,
with all due respect,
105
00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:30,732
{\an8}you don't have to start
every shift
106
00:03:30,733 --> 00:03:32,524
with a personal,
traumatic story.
107
00:03:32,525 --> 00:03:34,191
{\an8}You're right.
108
00:03:34,192 --> 00:03:35,982
{\an8}I wore a back brace
in high school,
109
00:03:35,983 --> 00:03:37,607
so nobody asked me
to prom.
110
00:03:37,608 --> 00:03:38,816
{\an8}My dad was my date.
111
00:03:38,817 --> 00:03:41,107
{\an8}All normal so far,
but at the dance,
112
00:03:41,108 --> 00:03:42,441
he ditched me
for the Prom Queen.
113
00:03:42,442 --> 00:03:44,441
{\an8}But it all worked out
114
00:03:44,442 --> 00:03:46,274
{\an8}because she is now
my stepmother.
115
00:03:47,775 --> 00:03:50,232
Let's have
a great shift!
116
00:03:50,233 --> 00:03:52,357
{\an8}Hello,
this is Teen Help Line.
117
00:03:52,358 --> 00:03:53,649
{\an8}What's on your mind today?
118
00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:54,732
Female caller:
Hi, I'm calling
119
00:03:54,733 --> 00:03:56,274
{\an8}because I'm feeling
kinda down.
120
00:03:56,275 --> 00:03:57,982
{\an8}Oh, I'm sorry
to hear that.
121
00:03:57,983 --> 00:03:59,607
{\an8}What's making you
feel this way?
122
00:03:59,608 --> 00:04:00,899
Prom, I guess.
123
00:04:00,900 --> 00:04:02,649
{\an8}No one asked me out
because of my looks.
124
00:04:02,650 --> 00:04:04,607
{\an8}That's awful.
125
00:04:04,608 --> 00:04:06,732
{\an8}But remember,
looks aren't everything.
126
00:04:06,733 --> 00:04:08,524
{\an8}It's personality
that counts.
127
00:04:08,525 --> 00:04:10,732
{\an8}You're just saying that
because it's in the script.
128
00:04:10,733 --> 00:04:14,232
Okay, it's in the script.
But it's true.
129
00:04:14,233 --> 00:04:17,482
But you don't even know if I
have a good personality or not.
130
00:04:17,483 --> 00:04:18,982
Well, tell me
about yourself.
131
00:04:18,983 --> 00:04:20,524
Who's your
favorite musician?
132
00:04:20,525 --> 00:04:21,732
That's a tough question.
133
00:04:21,733 --> 00:04:22,982
You're gonna have to
give me a sec.
134
00:04:22,983 --> 00:04:24,857
Well, you're taking your time
to think about it,
135
00:04:24,858 --> 00:04:27,274
which makes you
a thoughtful person.
Thanks.
136
00:04:27,275 --> 00:04:29,274
Just as long as you don't say
Ed Sheeran or something,
137
00:04:29,275 --> 00:04:30,691
you're officially awesome.
138
00:04:30,692 --> 00:04:31,899
Okay,
I've thought about it.
139
00:04:31,900 --> 00:04:33,649
My favorite musician
is Ed Sheeran.
140
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:36,899
Oh, look at that!
You're laughing.
141
00:04:36,900 --> 00:04:39,107
What do you guys do when you
make someone feel better?
142
00:04:39,108 --> 00:04:40,941
You get to, like,
ring a bell or something?
143
00:04:40,942 --> 00:04:42,691
Tickets spew out of a slot
in the desk,
144
00:04:42,692 --> 00:04:44,732
and I redeem them
at the prize counter.
145
00:04:44,733 --> 00:04:46,566
If I get you to say,
"That really helped,"
146
00:04:46,567 --> 00:04:49,024
I'll have enough to get
a bamboo back scratcher.
147
00:04:49,025 --> 00:04:50,607
Good to know.
148
00:04:50,608 --> 00:04:52,607
Why aren't you saying
I really helped you?
149
00:04:52,608 --> 00:04:54,524
Because then
we'd be done talking,
150
00:04:54,525 --> 00:04:56,358
and I'm not ready
for that.
151
00:04:58,317 --> 00:05:00,274
Ah, love that smile.
When do you turn 18?
152
00:05:00,275 --> 00:05:01,982
Don't answer that.
153
00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:11,232
Are you sure that's right?
That seems kind of far.
154
00:05:11,233 --> 00:05:12,399
Don't think
about the distance.
155
00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:14,525
Just bend at the knees
and follow through.
156
00:05:16,067 --> 00:05:17,399
Okay.
157
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:18,567
Here goes nothing.
158
00:05:21,567 --> 00:05:25,066
Okay, well, maybe think about
the distance a little bit.
159
00:05:25,067 --> 00:05:27,357
Dad, I see what you did wrong,
but good news--
160
00:05:27,358 --> 00:05:29,066
it's totally fixable.
161
00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:32,316
In order to make the shot,
you need to aim at the basket.
162
00:05:32,317 --> 00:05:33,441
I was.
163
00:05:33,442 --> 00:05:34,567
Well, crap.
164
00:05:38,942 --> 00:05:39,942
Oops.
165
00:05:41,358 --> 00:05:42,899
Uh-oh.
166
00:05:42,900 --> 00:05:44,649
Ohh! So close!
167
00:05:44,650 --> 00:05:46,774
Get there!
168
00:05:48,525 --> 00:05:50,108
Oh!
That's on me.
169
00:05:51,650 --> 00:05:54,399
Mr. A, I really want
to go to prom with Taylor.
170
00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:55,774
Shooting a three-pointer
is not that hard, okay?
171
00:05:55,775 --> 00:05:56,941
Just do what I do.
172
00:05:56,942 --> 00:05:58,775
Just grab the ball
and toss it in.
173
00:06:02,150 --> 00:06:03,566
You don't even have to
look at the hoop.
174
00:06:03,567 --> 00:06:06,357
Just grab and toss it.
175
00:06:06,358 --> 00:06:07,691
See?
176
00:06:07,692 --> 00:06:08,732
I'm sorry, kids.
177
00:06:08,733 --> 00:06:10,149
I-I have played
basketball before,
178
00:06:10,150 --> 00:06:12,899
but for some reason,
I can't make this shot.
179
00:06:12,900 --> 00:06:15,274
Taylor, you've completed
your list except for this,
180
00:06:15,275 --> 00:06:16,857
and that's close enough.
181
00:06:16,858 --> 00:06:18,399
You have my permission
to go to the prom.
182
00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:20,149
Whoo!
We're going to prom!
183
00:06:20,150 --> 00:06:21,774
No.
What?
184
00:06:21,775 --> 00:06:24,191
I thought I was finally getting
the hang of conversations.
185
00:06:24,192 --> 00:06:26,899
I made a promise to check
every item off that list--
186
00:06:26,900 --> 00:06:28,149
every item.
187
00:06:28,150 --> 00:06:29,982
And that's exactly
what I'm gonna do.
188
00:06:29,983 --> 00:06:31,107
The whole point of this list
189
00:06:31,108 --> 00:06:32,399
was to teach me
to see things through
190
00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:33,774
and not to be
such a screw-up.
191
00:06:33,775 --> 00:06:35,399
And I'm not gonna
stop now.
192
00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:39,024
But, babe, your dad is,
like, so, so, so, so,
193
00:06:39,025 --> 00:06:40,691
so bad at basketball.
194
00:06:40,692 --> 00:06:42,232
All sports, really.
195
00:06:45,108 --> 00:06:46,482
I don't know.
196
00:06:46,483 --> 00:06:48,107
I guess it's just a bunch
of really old people
197
00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:49,399
who live in apartments
in New York,
198
00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:50,857
and there's a monkey.
199
00:06:50,858 --> 00:06:52,524
Yeah, I don't get
"Friends" either.
200
00:06:52,525 --> 00:06:53,857
Hmm.
201
00:06:53,858 --> 00:06:55,441
Guys at school
are idiots.
202
00:06:55,442 --> 00:06:57,691
Anybody would be lucky
to go to prom with you.
203
00:06:57,692 --> 00:07:00,066
Well, how about you?
204
00:07:00,067 --> 00:07:01,399
How about me, what?
205
00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:05,149
Do you want to go
to prom with me?
206
00:07:05,150 --> 00:07:06,232
Uh...
207
00:07:06,233 --> 00:07:07,524
Oh, no,
I made it awkward.
208
00:07:07,525 --> 00:07:09,816
It was stupid to ask.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
209
00:07:09,817 --> 00:07:11,399
It's just there's
a procedure here, and--
210
00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:13,524
Forget I said anything.
You helped me a lot.
211
00:07:13,525 --> 00:07:15,608
You earned yourself
that bamboo back scratcher.
212
00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:21,066
You know what?
Screw procedure.
213
00:07:21,067 --> 00:07:22,649
I'd love to go
to prom with you.
214
00:07:22,650 --> 00:07:24,232
Really?
215
00:07:24,233 --> 00:07:25,566
They don't let me ask
for your information,
216
00:07:25,567 --> 00:07:26,816
so I'll give you mine.
217
00:07:26,817 --> 00:07:29,774
My name is Oliver,
and I live at 23 Woody Lane.
218
00:07:29,775 --> 00:07:32,566
Great. I'll pick you up
tomorrow night at 7:00.
219
00:07:32,567 --> 00:07:33,899
See you then.
220
00:07:33,900 --> 00:07:35,482
Oh, you look happy.
221
00:07:35,483 --> 00:07:38,191
You're making
our callers happy.
222
00:07:38,192 --> 00:07:40,191
D-Do you think
I look happy?
223
00:07:40,192 --> 00:07:41,899
So happy.
224
00:07:41,900 --> 00:07:43,024
Mm-hmm.
225
00:07:46,775 --> 00:07:48,816
If you got points for shooting
the ball in our rose bushes,
226
00:07:48,817 --> 00:07:50,275
I'd be the leading scorer.
227
00:07:55,525 --> 00:07:58,566
Our daughter
is being bullied.
228
00:07:58,567 --> 00:07:59,732
What?
229
00:07:59,733 --> 00:08:01,982
I just found this
in Anna-Kat's backpack.
230
00:08:01,983 --> 00:08:03,442
"You suck. Tilly."
231
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:06,816
Principal Ablin knew
that my baby was being bullied,
232
00:08:06,817 --> 00:08:08,941
and his only response
was an e-mail!
233
00:08:08,942 --> 00:08:10,982
I want that man
to be given a swirly
234
00:08:10,983 --> 00:08:12,232
and shoved in a locker!
235
00:08:12,233 --> 00:08:13,774
What happened to "bullying
builds character"?
236
00:08:13,775 --> 00:08:15,899
You didn't marry me
for my consistency, Greg!
237
00:08:15,900 --> 00:08:17,732
You married me for a body
that you foolishly thought
238
00:08:17,733 --> 00:08:19,566
would stay the same
after kids!
239
00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:20,608
That's on you.
240
00:08:24,983 --> 00:08:27,274
Hey, let's not bring up
the note to Anna-Kat.
241
00:08:27,275 --> 00:08:28,566
Why not?
I found it
242
00:08:28,567 --> 00:08:30,316
while doing my weekly
deep snoop into her stuff.
243
00:08:30,317 --> 00:08:32,274
Let's just talk
about bullying in general
244
00:08:32,275 --> 00:08:33,399
and see how she reacts.
245
00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:34,607
Okay,
but you really should
246
00:08:34,608 --> 00:08:35,774
stop snooping
on the kids.
247
00:08:35,775 --> 00:08:36,899
Without my snooping,
248
00:08:36,900 --> 00:08:38,482
we wouldn't know anything
about our children.
249
00:08:38,483 --> 00:08:40,774
And I also wouldn't know
that you've been shopping around
250
00:08:40,775 --> 00:08:42,941
for a backyard
chicken coop.
251
00:08:42,942 --> 00:08:44,732
That's not happening.
Clear your browser.
252
00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:45,817
I know you know
how to do it.
253
00:08:48,317 --> 00:08:50,025
Anna-Kat,
it's time for bed.
254
00:08:52,233 --> 00:08:53,816
Anything you want to
talk about?
255
00:08:53,817 --> 00:08:55,066
No. Good night.
256
00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:58,649
But you know you can talk to us
about anything, right?
257
00:08:58,650 --> 00:08:59,899
Anything?
258
00:08:59,900 --> 00:09:01,274
Anything.
259
00:09:01,275 --> 00:09:02,357
Okay.
260
00:09:02,358 --> 00:09:03,649
I want to talk
about you guys leaving
261
00:09:03,650 --> 00:09:04,816
and letting me go to bed.
262
00:09:04,817 --> 00:09:05,857
Good night!
263
00:09:05,858 --> 00:09:08,107
We can talk
about that...
Mm-hmm.
264
00:09:08,108 --> 00:09:11,107
...but we can also
talk about bullying.
265
00:09:11,108 --> 00:09:13,400
If you're being bullied,
you can come to us.
266
00:09:15,108 --> 00:09:16,107
Okay.
267
00:09:16,108 --> 00:09:17,274
I'm being bullied
by a boy
268
00:09:17,275 --> 00:09:18,566
whose breath
smells like almonds
269
00:09:18,567 --> 00:09:21,107
and a girl who dresses
like a lazy lumberjack.
270
00:09:21,108 --> 00:09:22,150
Good night!
271
00:09:30,733 --> 00:09:32,441
That was meaner
than it needed to be.
272
00:09:32,442 --> 00:09:34,899
Anna-Kat
isn't icing us out.
273
00:09:34,900 --> 00:09:36,899
She's too afraid of her bully
to talk to us.
274
00:09:36,900 --> 00:09:37,899
This is bad.
275
00:09:37,900 --> 00:09:39,107
We have to figure out
what to do.
276
00:09:39,108 --> 00:09:41,399
It's okay. You don't have
to worry. I'll handle it.
277
00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:43,566
Do you think saying
"I'll handle it" is reassuring?
278
00:09:43,567 --> 00:09:44,775
Because it almost
never is.
279
00:09:52,067 --> 00:09:55,066
What is the best way to get back
at Anna-Kat's bully--
280
00:09:55,067 --> 00:09:57,482
who's a child--
without breaking laws?
281
00:09:57,483 --> 00:09:59,232
Just find an offensive word
that rhymes with her name.
282
00:09:59,233 --> 00:10:02,942
You know, like Silly Tilly
or Shrilly Tilly.
283
00:10:03,983 --> 00:10:05,566
It's too bad her name
isn't Lanus.
284
00:10:06,733 --> 00:10:08,732
I get a tad crazy
when someone hurts Anna-Kat.
285
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:09,982
When she was 3,
286
00:10:09,983 --> 00:10:11,857
a little boy grabbed a juice box
out of her hand,
287
00:10:11,858 --> 00:10:12,857
and I bit him.
288
00:10:12,858 --> 00:10:14,441
You bit a child?
289
00:10:14,442 --> 00:10:16,691
Calm down.
Etiquette police over here.
290
00:10:16,692 --> 00:10:18,399
Okay, just reach out
to Tilly's mom.
291
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:19,941
It's the only
reasonable approach.
292
00:10:19,942 --> 00:10:21,024
Yeah,
I guess you're right.
293
00:10:21,025 --> 00:10:22,732
I'll invite Tilly's mom
out to lunch.
294
00:10:22,733 --> 00:10:24,482
Do you know how to make
a horse noise?
295
00:10:24,483 --> 00:10:25,399
What?
296
00:10:28,067 --> 00:10:30,941
I don't think so. Why?
297
00:10:30,942 --> 00:10:32,399
Well, then, you could've gone
with Tilly the Filly.
298
00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:34,107
But without the horse noise,
it doesn't work.
299
00:10:34,108 --> 00:10:35,274
Mm.
300
00:10:40,858 --> 00:10:42,732
You're ditching Crom
to go to prom
301
00:10:42,733 --> 00:10:45,066
with some lonely
Teen Help Line chica loca?!
302
00:10:45,067 --> 00:10:46,941
I'm sorry, dude.
It just happened.
303
00:10:46,942 --> 00:10:48,024
I want to go to Crom,
304
00:10:48,025 --> 00:10:49,691
but I have to do
the right thing.
305
00:10:49,692 --> 00:10:52,316
What if ditching your prom date
is doing the right thing?
306
00:10:52,317 --> 00:10:53,232
I'm listening.
307
00:10:53,233 --> 00:10:54,732
She hasn't even confirmed!
308
00:10:54,733 --> 00:10:56,066
She might be
blowing you off.
309
00:10:56,067 --> 00:10:58,482
I'm not following,
but I want to. Go on.
310
00:10:58,483 --> 00:11:01,732
A senior girl asks out
a sophomore to prom. Why?
311
00:11:01,733 --> 00:11:04,149
Because they made a connection
over the phone?
312
00:11:04,150 --> 00:11:05,357
Don't think so.
313
00:11:05,358 --> 00:11:06,441
She's messing with you.
314
00:11:06,442 --> 00:11:07,482
Why would she do that?
315
00:11:07,483 --> 00:11:08,941
Because it's funny
and cruel,
316
00:11:08,942 --> 00:11:10,399
and that's
the world we live in.
317
00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:12,732
That makes so much sense.
318
00:11:12,733 --> 00:11:14,816
I'm not gonna spend my night
being ridiculed.
319
00:11:14,817 --> 00:11:15,982
I'm going to Crom!
320
00:11:15,983 --> 00:11:17,816
Yeah, and for doing
the right thing,
321
00:11:17,817 --> 00:11:18,900
here's your reward.
322
00:11:21,983 --> 00:11:23,524
A dry cleaning receipt?
323
00:11:23,525 --> 00:11:26,066
For our matching tuxes.
324
00:11:26,067 --> 00:11:27,274
Crom!
Crom!
325
00:11:30,900 --> 00:11:32,232
Katie.
326
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,774
You must be Stephanie.
327
00:11:33,775 --> 00:11:34,899
Have a seat.
328
00:11:34,900 --> 00:11:35,899
Be cool.
329
00:11:35,900 --> 00:11:37,066
This woman is not your enemy.
330
00:11:37,067 --> 00:11:38,941
She's just another mom
trying her best.
331
00:11:38,942 --> 00:11:40,732
Thank you
for meeting with me.
332
00:11:40,733 --> 00:11:41,857
Of course.
333
00:11:41,858 --> 00:11:42,982
Thanks for reaching out
334
00:11:42,983 --> 00:11:44,649
about the bullying
that's going on at school.
335
00:11:44,650 --> 00:11:46,441
Well,
I tried to play nice,
336
00:11:46,442 --> 00:11:48,316
but she clearly isn't
interested
337
00:11:48,317 --> 00:11:49,566
in a civil discussion.
338
00:11:49,567 --> 00:11:51,607
Listen, lady,
your daughter is the bully.
339
00:11:51,608 --> 00:11:53,399
Tilly?
Yes, Tilly.
340
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:56,733
She left this note
in my daughter's backpack.
341
00:11:57,858 --> 00:11:59,982
Normally, I wouldn't judge
a person's parenting,
342
00:11:59,983 --> 00:12:01,399
but since you raised
a bully,
343
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:02,899
I can say
that you're a bad mom.
344
00:12:02,900 --> 00:12:04,524
And not in the fun
Mila Kunis way.
345
00:12:04,525 --> 00:12:06,024
You're Christina Applegate.
346
00:12:06,025 --> 00:12:07,691
I don't know what that means.
I didn't see the movie.
347
00:12:07,692 --> 00:12:08,691
Neither did I,
348
00:12:08,692 --> 00:12:10,357
but the trailer
made it quite clear.
349
00:12:10,358 --> 00:12:13,316
This note doesn't mean
what you think it means.
350
00:12:13,317 --> 00:12:15,691
It doesn't say
"You suck. Tilly."
351
00:12:15,692 --> 00:12:17,442
It says
"You suck Tilly."
352
00:12:19,067 --> 00:12:21,066
I didn't know who was leaving
all of these notes
353
00:12:21,067 --> 00:12:24,649
in Tilly's locker,
but now I do.
354
00:12:24,650 --> 00:12:27,066
Anna-Kat has been bullying
my daughter,
355
00:12:27,067 --> 00:12:28,608
and I see
where she gets it from.
356
00:12:38,067 --> 00:12:40,274
I just met
with Tilly's mom.
357
00:12:40,275 --> 00:12:42,524
Anna-Kat is not
being bullied.
358
00:12:42,525 --> 00:12:44,774
She's the bully.
359
00:12:44,775 --> 00:12:46,232
Anna-Kat?
Yes!
360
00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:47,482
I can't believe it,
either!
361
00:12:47,483 --> 00:12:48,899
Where did she learn
this behavior?
362
00:12:48,900 --> 00:12:50,399
TV? Video games?
363
00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,816
All the stories you tell about
teasing the uncool kids
364
00:12:52,817 --> 00:12:54,066
when you were popular?
365
00:12:54,067 --> 00:12:55,732
I'm sorry, Greg,
but I don't see the link.
366
00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:56,899
TV did it.
367
00:12:56,900 --> 00:12:59,399
Specifically
that penguin documentary
368
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:01,024
that you showed her
last week.
369
00:13:01,025 --> 00:13:03,441
I'm actually curious to see
if you'll stick the landing.
370
00:13:03,442 --> 00:13:04,732
Those penguins
were super mean
371
00:13:04,733 --> 00:13:06,607
to the other penguins
that didn't have eggs.
372
00:13:06,608 --> 00:13:07,816
That's bullying.
373
00:13:07,817 --> 00:13:09,024
Now that
I think about it,
374
00:13:09,025 --> 00:13:11,649
this whole situation
is your fault!
375
00:13:11,650 --> 00:13:13,899
Ohhh! Broke your leg
on the dismount.
376
00:13:13,900 --> 00:13:15,774
Béla Károlyi is carrying you
off the mat.
377
00:13:15,775 --> 00:13:17,607
How on Earth do you know
nothing about sports
378
00:13:17,608 --> 00:13:19,149
except for women's
gymnastics?
379
00:13:23,483 --> 00:13:26,441
Anna-Kat,
can you explain this?
380
00:13:26,442 --> 00:13:27,941
This is what I tell
my friends--
381
00:13:27,942 --> 00:13:29,232
you thought he was rich.
382
00:13:29,233 --> 00:13:32,025
Not our marriage.
This.
383
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:35,399
Where'd you get those?
384
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:36,399
From Tilly's mother.
385
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,191
They're yours, right?
386
00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:39,607
Yeah.
387
00:13:39,608 --> 00:13:41,816
Look, I know it was wrong
to write those notes,
388
00:13:41,817 --> 00:13:43,566
but the cool girls
said I should do it.
389
00:13:43,567 --> 00:13:44,566
They thought it was funny.
390
00:13:44,567 --> 00:13:47,857
And-- I don't know,
I just...
391
00:13:47,858 --> 00:13:48,941
I don't know.
392
00:13:48,942 --> 00:13:50,357
It's not cool
to be mean.
393
00:13:50,358 --> 00:13:52,024
But you were cool.
394
00:13:52,025 --> 00:13:53,066
Okay,
I'm partly to blame here,
395
00:13:53,067 --> 00:13:55,524
but the penguin movie
did not help.
396
00:13:55,525 --> 00:13:58,066
When I was growing up,
it's true,
397
00:13:58,067 --> 00:13:59,607
I was one
of the cool girls.
398
00:13:59,608 --> 00:14:01,107
I was the coolest.
399
00:14:01,108 --> 00:14:04,566
I was the hottest,
most popular girl in school.
400
00:14:04,567 --> 00:14:06,357
Do you have
a handle on this?
401
00:14:06,358 --> 00:14:08,941
But I didn't raise you
to be like me.
402
00:14:08,942 --> 00:14:12,066
I raised you
to be better than me.
403
00:14:12,067 --> 00:14:14,191
How adorable are we?
404
00:14:14,192 --> 00:14:15,357
Guys, not now.
405
00:14:15,358 --> 00:14:18,524
Why would you even do that
to another girl?
406
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:20,149
I don't have a reason.
407
00:14:20,150 --> 00:14:22,566
I know what it's like
to be bullied for no reason.
408
00:14:22,567 --> 00:14:24,232
It all started
when I made the winning shot
409
00:14:24,233 --> 00:14:25,232
in a basketball game.
410
00:14:25,233 --> 00:14:26,191
Back up a bit.
411
00:14:26,192 --> 00:14:28,066
You were on
a basketball team?
412
00:14:28,067 --> 00:14:30,066
I was the equipment manager,
but I did get to go in
413
00:14:30,067 --> 00:14:31,566
for one play
in one game.
414
00:14:31,567 --> 00:14:34,232
Tell us more because there's
no way this isn't a funny story.
415
00:14:34,233 --> 00:14:35,899
I was a sophomore
in high school.
416
00:14:35,900 --> 00:14:36,982
My team was down by two.
417
00:14:41,192 --> 00:14:42,566
Otto, you're in.
418
00:14:42,567 --> 00:14:43,774
Me?
419
00:14:43,775 --> 00:14:45,732
Yeah, it's a jump ball,
and you're the tallest.
420
00:15:06,567 --> 00:15:08,732
Ball!
Ball! Ball! Ball!
421
00:15:12,483 --> 00:15:15,441
Pass the ball!
422
00:15:36,233 --> 00:15:37,857
You shot it
in the wrong hoop, Otto.
423
00:15:37,858 --> 00:15:38,899
You lost us
the game.
424
00:15:38,900 --> 00:15:40,442
Oh, no.
425
00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:45,649
Still. It feels nice
to be appreciated.
426
00:15:45,650 --> 00:15:47,066
Man, you've been
Gregging stuff up
427
00:15:47,067 --> 00:15:48,566
since you were a kid, huh?
428
00:15:48,567 --> 00:15:50,441
I made the winning shot,
just for the wrong team.
429
00:15:50,442 --> 00:15:52,441
I must've blocked
that part out.
430
00:15:52,442 --> 00:15:54,024
I wonder if this has anything
to do with the fact
431
00:15:54,025 --> 00:15:55,566
that I can't make
a three-pointer now.
432
00:15:55,567 --> 00:15:57,566
At Teen Help Line, we're taught
that childhood bullying
433
00:15:57,567 --> 00:16:00,066
can have long-lasting effects
even into adulthood.
434
00:16:00,067 --> 00:16:03,232
And that's why you need to
apologize to Tilly.
435
00:16:03,233 --> 00:16:06,232
I will.
But that's not all,
Anna-Kat.
436
00:16:06,233 --> 00:16:08,232
I'm finally following through
with the punishment
437
00:16:08,233 --> 00:16:09,232
that I've been
threatening you with
438
00:16:09,233 --> 00:16:11,066
since you were 5.
439
00:16:11,067 --> 00:16:12,482
I'm signing you up
for soccer.
440
00:16:12,483 --> 00:16:13,982
No.
And you're going to go
441
00:16:13,983 --> 00:16:15,399
to every practice
and every game,
442
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:17,524
and I'm going to buy your father
a little foldy chair,
443
00:16:17,525 --> 00:16:19,816
and he's gonna sit
on the sidelines
and cheer you on.
444
00:16:19,817 --> 00:16:22,192
And I will watch from the car
where there's air conditioning.
445
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,191
Thanks for telling me
that story, Mr. Otto,
446
00:16:25,192 --> 00:16:27,191
because now I know
Oliver can't go to Crom.
447
00:16:27,192 --> 00:16:28,857
Are you serious?
448
00:16:28,858 --> 00:16:30,107
We both know
your prom date
449
00:16:30,108 --> 00:16:31,899
probably isn't a prank.
450
00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:34,107
She'll show up here,
realize you blew her off,
451
00:16:34,108 --> 00:16:36,149
and go home
and sit on her couch
452
00:16:36,150 --> 00:16:38,816
in her prom dress,
all devastated.
453
00:16:38,817 --> 00:16:40,566
You heard
your dad's story.
454
00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:42,733
If you ditch her,
it could bum her out for life.
455
00:16:44,483 --> 00:16:46,149
I'll go to prom.
456
00:16:46,150 --> 00:16:47,274
But I've gotta say,
457
00:16:47,275 --> 00:16:48,732
this new empathetic
version of me?
458
00:16:48,733 --> 00:16:49,732
I don't care for it.
459
00:16:52,775 --> 00:16:54,982
Mom, I guess you have to
fire up "Dirty Dancing."
460
00:16:54,983 --> 00:16:56,441
Trip and I
are staying home tonight.
461
00:16:56,442 --> 00:16:57,482
No.
462
00:16:57,483 --> 00:16:58,524
After my realization,
463
00:16:58,525 --> 00:17:00,524
I feel like a weight
has been lifted.
464
00:17:00,525 --> 00:17:02,107
I'm gonna try the three-pointer
one more time.
465
00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:03,732
Alright, Dad!
466
00:17:03,733 --> 00:17:05,691
Get out there and remember
everything I taught you.
467
00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:07,692
Wait, Mr. A, you're forgetting
your magical headband!
468
00:17:08,567 --> 00:17:10,316
I don't need it anymore,
Trip.
469
00:17:10,317 --> 00:17:12,732
The magic is inside me.
470
00:17:17,025 --> 00:17:18,774
You've got this, babe.
Let's go, Dad.
471
00:17:18,775 --> 00:17:20,816
Come on, Mr. A.
Nothing but net...
472
00:17:20,817 --> 00:17:23,107
or rim or backboard.
473
00:17:23,108 --> 00:17:24,275
Or really anything.
Just get it in.
474
00:17:26,067 --> 00:17:27,982
Let's go, Dad!
475
00:17:31,733 --> 00:17:32,732
I hit the rim!
476
00:17:32,733 --> 00:17:34,857
You're so close!
Keep going, Dad!
477
00:17:34,858 --> 00:17:36,816
Hey, I think
your date's here.
478
00:17:36,817 --> 00:17:38,941
It's just one night, right?
I'll make the best of it.
479
00:17:44,108 --> 00:17:46,066
Is that
Lindsey Coolidge?
480
00:17:46,067 --> 00:17:47,316
Are you my prom date?
481
00:17:47,317 --> 00:17:48,399
Yes, I am.
482
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:49,566
Oh, oh, no,
he's kidding.
483
00:17:49,567 --> 00:17:51,399
I'm the one who talked
to you on the phone.
484
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:52,399
Mm.
Oliver Otto.
485
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:53,357
Hi, Lindsey.
486
00:17:53,358 --> 00:17:54,607
Oh, hey, guys.
487
00:17:54,608 --> 00:17:56,566
Oh, Lindsey,
these are my parents.
488
00:17:56,567 --> 00:17:58,149
Oh.
Nice to meet you.
489
00:17:58,150 --> 00:17:59,317
Nice to meet you.
490
00:18:00,358 --> 00:18:01,566
She's going to the prom
with Oliver?
491
00:18:01,567 --> 00:18:03,649
Just another
in the long line of Otto men
492
00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:05,732
punching above
their weight.
493
00:18:05,733 --> 00:18:07,607
You ready?
Yes.
494
00:18:07,608 --> 00:18:09,399
Just one quick question.
495
00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:11,816
You said no one asked you
to prom because of your looks.
496
00:18:11,817 --> 00:18:13,691
Every guy at school either
thought I had a date
497
00:18:13,692 --> 00:18:16,566
or was too intimidated
to ask.
498
00:18:16,567 --> 00:18:17,857
Have fun at Crom.
499
00:18:20,983 --> 00:18:22,107
What the...?
500
00:18:22,108 --> 00:18:24,232
My helicopter's here
to take me to Crom.
501
00:18:25,900 --> 00:18:27,150
Oh, our ride's here, too.
502
00:18:28,108 --> 00:18:30,067
Greg, it's time.
503
00:18:31,817 --> 00:18:33,107
Throw me the rock.
504
00:18:50,692 --> 00:18:51,857
You did it, Dad!
505
00:18:51,858 --> 00:18:54,107
Taylor!
You finished the list!
506
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,441
Pilot, set that spotlight
to disco!
507
00:18:58,692 --> 00:19:00,149
Music!
508
00:19:01,233 --> 00:19:02,649
Oh!
509
00:19:05,067 --> 00:19:06,899
Your family
seems like fun.
510
00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:09,232
Yeah, you caught us
on a good night.
511
00:19:28,317 --> 00:19:29,982
- Okay, mark.
- Here we go.
512
00:19:29,983 --> 00:19:31,191
I got the high score
on Pop-a-Squat.
513
00:19:31,192 --> 00:19:32,857
Pop-a-Squat?
514
00:19:32,858 --> 00:19:34,232
So, you crapped
in the parking lot
515
00:19:34,233 --> 00:19:35,524
and got a-- got an award?
Basically, Greg.
516
00:19:35,525 --> 00:19:37,482
I've never been more proud
of the Otto family.
517
00:19:37,483 --> 00:19:39,566
Well, Dr. Ellie's class
is for special education.
518
00:19:39,567 --> 00:19:41,524
Oh. Sorry,
I hit the horn.
519
00:19:43,317 --> 00:19:44,274
Batman!
520
00:19:44,275 --> 00:19:45,357
Oh.
Cut!
521
00:19:45,358 --> 00:19:47,066
Sorry.
522
00:19:47,067 --> 00:19:48,274
Ah.
523
00:19:48,275 --> 00:19:50,066
Glittermane is single again.
524
00:19:59,525 --> 00:20:01,191
Remember when we were trying to
sleep train Anna-Kat
525
00:20:01,192 --> 00:20:02,649
and you
526
00:20:04,025 --> 00:20:05,607
Remember when you tried to
sleep--
527
00:20:05,608 --> 00:20:08,567
Remember when you
tried to sleep train...
528
00:20:10,483 --> 00:20:12,900
I'm so sorry.
529
00:20:17,525 --> 00:20:19,066
Alright, last question
of Round 1.
530
00:20:19,067 --> 00:20:20,899
On the Risk board,
what territories...
531
00:20:23,067 --> 00:20:25,774
Oh, no.
What's the oldest child's name?
532
00:20:25,775 --> 00:20:26,857
What's Meg's...
Taylor.
533
00:20:28,317 --> 00:20:29,482
Isn't it amazing?
534
00:20:31,692 --> 00:20:34,024
♪ Isn't it amazing? ♪
535
00:20:34,025 --> 00:20:35,816
...course. I sounded really
drunk at the top of that.
536
00:20:35,817 --> 00:20:36,857
Can I do it
one more time?
537
00:20:36,858 --> 00:20:38,732
And he's boozing it up!
538
00:20:38,733 --> 00:20:40,149
One second.
Is this a joke?
539
00:20:40,150 --> 00:20:42,357
I'm sorry. C-Could we get
a wipe for her feet?
540
00:20:46,025 --> 00:20:47,399
I know.
It's so ticklish.
541
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:50,399
The weekly lasagna tournament
canceled their poker order.
542
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:52,566
Why are all of our clients
canceling?
543
00:20:52,567 --> 00:20:53,482
That wasn't right.
544
00:20:53,483 --> 00:20:54,399
I was like,
"When in doubt,
545
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:55,691
{\an8}it's my time to talk."
546
00:20:55,692 --> 00:20:57,107
{\an8}Mom!
547
00:20:59,317 --> 00:21:00,774
{\an8}I'm sorry.
And cut.
548
00:21:01,900 --> 00:21:03,274
{\an8}I pushed the zombie away.
549
00:21:03,275 --> 00:21:04,816
{\an8}I was looking
at the Venn diagram,
550
00:21:04,817 --> 00:21:07,399
{\an8}and I think I discovered
something we have in common.
551
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:09,232
{\an8}That's amazing.
What is it?
552
00:21:09,233 --> 00:21:11,732
{\an8}We're on a television show
together.
553
00:21:11,733 --> 00:21:12,732
{\an8}Really?
Yeah.
554
00:21:12,733 --> 00:21:14,357
{\an8}Amazing!
I know.
555
00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:17,733
{\an8}Cut.
Cut, cut, cut.
40174
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