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1
00:00:00,942 --> 00:00:02,524
Anna-Kat: That's mine!
It's just juice,
2
00:00:02,525 --> 00:00:03,774
chill out!
Mom!
3
00:00:03,775 --> 00:00:06,025
Taylor, undo whatever
you just did.
4
00:00:08,067 --> 00:00:11,191
Ewww. I can still see the drippy
from where she took a sip.
5
00:00:12,733 --> 00:00:14,232
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
6
00:00:17,567 --> 00:00:19,191
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
7
00:00:19,192 --> 00:00:21,899
Answer your phone.
It's just a spam call.
8
00:00:21,900 --> 00:00:24,857
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
This ringtone is the best
decision that I ever made.
9
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:27,316
You are never allowed
to do that again.
Someone could see.
10
00:00:27,317 --> 00:00:29,524
We're in the kitchen!
Who is going to see?
11
00:00:29,525 --> 00:00:32,691
God, Santa, satellites,
aliens, drones, Alexa--
12
00:00:32,692 --> 00:00:34,982
Don't be ashamed 'cause
your mom's got mad moves.
13
00:00:34,983 --> 00:00:37,691
I should jot this down
for my future therapist.
14
00:00:37,692 --> 00:00:39,691
This feels like
a significant moment.
15
00:00:42,067 --> 00:00:43,524
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
16
00:00:46,900 --> 00:00:48,232
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
17
00:00:51,067 --> 00:00:53,191
I can't.
Taylor, let's go.
18
00:00:53,192 --> 00:00:54,732
Drop me off
at a fire station.
19
00:00:54,733 --> 00:00:57,233
Hopefully a nice "This Is Us"
family will pick me up.
20
00:01:04,067 --> 00:01:05,441
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
21
00:01:16,858 --> 00:01:18,857
{\an8}Bye, Dad.
Oliver, come here.
22
00:01:18,858 --> 00:01:20,691
{\an8}I want to show you a new coin
I got for my collection.
23
00:01:20,692 --> 00:01:23,024
{\an8}Ugh. I should have just
pretended like I didn't see you.
24
00:01:23,025 --> 00:01:24,816
{\an8}The Historical Guild gave it
to me when they named me
25
00:01:24,817 --> 00:01:26,357
{\an8}General Beats
for tomorrow's reenactment.
26
00:01:26,358 --> 00:01:27,982
{\an8}Yeah,
coins are super neat.
27
00:01:27,983 --> 00:01:30,982
{\an8}Hmm. That came off a little less
sarcastic than I wanted.
28
00:01:30,983 --> 00:01:32,316
{\an8}Let me do that again.
29
00:01:32,317 --> 00:01:34,607
Yeah,
coins are suuuuuper neat.
30
00:01:34,608 --> 00:01:36,732
{\an8}There we go.
Just because
I'm interested in something
31
00:01:36,733 --> 00:01:38,191
{\an8}doesn't mean you should
make fun of it.
32
00:01:38,192 --> 00:01:39,566
It's not so much
making fun
33
00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:42,566
{\an8}as it is offering constructive
criticism in a hurtful manner.
34
00:01:42,567 --> 00:01:43,650
{\an8}Thanks for the opportunity.
35
00:01:49,358 --> 00:01:51,691
Mom, where are you?!
Mom!!
36
00:01:51,692 --> 00:01:54,399
You are only allowed to scream
like that if you are bleeding
37
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:55,857
{\an8}or the ice-cream truck
is on our street.
38
00:01:55,858 --> 00:01:56,857
{\an8}So, which is it?
39
00:01:56,858 --> 00:01:58,066
Taylor is a thief!
40
00:01:58,067 --> 00:01:59,357
What are you
talking about?
41
00:01:59,358 --> 00:02:01,732
This! This crop-top shirt
she's wearing
42
00:02:01,733 --> 00:02:05,357
{\an8}is actually my regularly
cropped shirt!
43
00:02:05,358 --> 00:02:07,232
{\an8}I let you leave
the house in that?
44
00:02:07,233 --> 00:02:08,732
No,
I wore a sweatshirt over it.
45
00:02:08,733 --> 00:02:11,149
I didn't want you to be upset
so early in the morning.
46
00:02:11,150 --> 00:02:13,316
You're welcome.
Ground her right now!
47
00:02:13,317 --> 00:02:14,982
Chill, Anna-Kat.
We're sisters.
48
00:02:14,983 --> 00:02:16,149
Sisters share clothes.
49
00:02:16,150 --> 00:02:17,816
{\an8}We do not "share clothes."
50
00:02:17,817 --> 00:02:20,149
{\an8}You steal my clothes
and stretch them out
51
00:02:20,150 --> 00:02:21,649
{\an8}with things
I don't have yet.
52
00:02:24,108 --> 00:02:25,899
{\an8}You're letting her
just get away?!
53
00:02:25,900 --> 00:02:27,274
{\an8}I demand justice!
54
00:02:27,275 --> 00:02:28,899
{\an8}Just because Taylor
is bigger than you
55
00:02:28,900 --> 00:02:31,649
{\an8}doesn't mean you can't
stand up for yourself.
56
00:02:31,650 --> 00:02:33,524
But can't you just--
57
00:02:33,525 --> 00:02:35,482
{\an8}No! You've got to stop
seeing yourself
58
00:02:35,483 --> 00:02:36,774
{\an8}as a powerless
little girl.
59
00:02:36,775 --> 00:02:38,732
{\an8}You are a strong,
independent young woman
60
00:02:38,733 --> 00:02:41,524
{\an8}who is fully capable
of fighting her own battles.
61
00:02:41,525 --> 00:02:42,524
You're right.
62
00:02:42,525 --> 00:02:44,066
Like Charlize Theron
in that movie
63
00:02:44,067 --> 00:02:45,691
you definitely
should not have shown me.
64
00:02:45,692 --> 00:02:47,524
"Monster."
65
00:02:47,525 --> 00:02:49,192
I thought
it was a monster movie.
66
00:02:50,483 --> 00:02:52,691
{\an8}When I was bestowed the honor
of portraying General Beats
67
00:02:52,692 --> 00:02:54,649
{\an8}in the Battle of Westport,
I knew I wanted only
68
00:02:54,650 --> 00:02:57,316
{\an8}the bravest to join me
on the front line,
69
00:02:57,317 --> 00:02:59,899
{\an8}and I'm thrilled you decided
to fight alongside me.
70
00:02:59,900 --> 00:03:00,982
No problem.
71
00:03:00,983 --> 00:03:02,191
With the extra credit
that I'm getting
72
00:03:02,192 --> 00:03:04,482
for participating,
my guidance counselor says
73
00:03:04,483 --> 00:03:08,024
graduation will be
"not an impossibility."
74
00:03:08,025 --> 00:03:09,607
I'm not getting
extra credit for this.
75
00:03:09,608 --> 00:03:11,274
Dr. Ellie loves
when I go on field trips
76
00:03:11,275 --> 00:03:13,149
'cause apparently
I can be a bit much.
77
00:03:13,150 --> 00:03:16,024
Let's get things started
before I have any regrets.
78
00:03:16,025 --> 00:03:19,107
Lonnie, you will be
Sergeant Gus Johnson,
79
00:03:19,108 --> 00:03:20,524
General Beats's
right-hand man
80
00:03:20,525 --> 00:03:22,857
and an ancestor to a long line
of famous Johnsons.
81
00:03:22,858 --> 00:03:24,191
Andrew Johnson
was among them.
82
00:03:25,817 --> 00:03:26,982
You said famous Johnson.
83
00:03:26,983 --> 00:03:28,399
I know you don't take
anything seriously,
84
00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:30,024
but just so we're clear,
85
00:03:30,025 --> 00:03:32,857
this reenactment is all based
on historical events,
86
00:03:32,858 --> 00:03:34,816
so there will be
no pranks of any kind.
87
00:03:34,817 --> 00:03:35,900
I would never.
88
00:03:36,817 --> 00:03:38,149
Well, I promise!
89
00:03:38,150 --> 00:03:40,233
The battlefield
will be an NPZB.
90
00:03:41,192 --> 00:03:42,442
No Prank Zone, Bro.
91
00:03:44,900 --> 00:03:46,316
No pranks necessary.
92
00:03:46,317 --> 00:03:47,899
I'm secretly filming this
for another episode
93
00:03:47,900 --> 00:03:51,566
of "Professor Badonkadonk."
NPZBPYP.
94
00:03:51,567 --> 00:03:54,732
No Prank Zone, Bro.
Psych! Yes, Pranks! Ha!
95
00:03:54,733 --> 00:03:57,524
Trip, Franklin, you will be
playing the Hudson brothers,
96
00:03:57,525 --> 00:03:59,857
the two young artillery officers
who led the troops
97
00:03:59,858 --> 00:04:02,482
after General Beats
was hanged by the Redcoats.
98
00:04:02,483 --> 00:04:05,774
Wait, you die?
Yes, but not before delivering
my historic last words--
99
00:04:05,775 --> 00:04:07,941
"May my death serve as
an inspiration
100
00:04:07,942 --> 00:04:10,399
to the sons and daughters
of the revolution.
101
00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:11,691
Now and forever more."
102
00:04:11,692 --> 00:04:13,691
Are you sure you want to go
through with this, Mr. A?
103
00:04:13,692 --> 00:04:17,232
It's just pretend, Trip.
I'm not actually going to die.
104
00:04:17,233 --> 00:04:19,232
It's important
you remember that.
105
00:04:19,233 --> 00:04:20,483
Okay.
Good.
106
00:04:21,692 --> 00:04:23,399
This is great.
You and I are brothers.
107
00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:24,982
My mom tried to get me
a brother one time,
108
00:04:24,983 --> 00:04:26,732
but security at the mall
was very tight.
109
00:04:28,900 --> 00:04:30,774
Alright, men.
Tomorrow, we fight.
110
00:04:30,775 --> 00:04:31,982
Tonight, we feast!
111
00:04:31,983 --> 00:04:33,691
Dairy Queen?
Sure.
112
00:04:33,692 --> 00:04:35,691
So, Trip,
what's your favorite color?
113
00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:36,857
What's your shoe size?
114
00:04:36,858 --> 00:04:38,774
Do you think there's regret
in the afterlife?
115
00:04:38,775 --> 00:04:39,816
Uh...
Take your time.
116
00:04:39,817 --> 00:04:41,357
I know the color one's
hard.
117
00:04:41,358 --> 00:04:43,191
Hey, amigos.
118
00:04:43,192 --> 00:04:44,357
What's going on?
119
00:04:44,358 --> 00:04:46,732
Right now, not much,
but in about 15 minutes,
120
00:04:46,733 --> 00:04:49,357
I'mma see if I can fit five
burgers in my mouth at once.
121
00:04:49,358 --> 00:04:52,607
Spoiler-- I can.
122
00:04:52,608 --> 00:04:54,857
I'm taking my troop out
for a final meal before battle.
123
00:04:54,858 --> 00:04:56,732
Your troop?
Yeah. I invited Lonnie,
124
00:04:56,733 --> 00:04:59,107
Trip, and Franklin
to do the reenactment.
125
00:04:59,108 --> 00:05:00,982
Don't worry.
You're off the hook.
126
00:05:00,983 --> 00:05:02,316
I'm not asking you
to join.
127
00:05:02,317 --> 00:05:04,566
Cool. Have fun
at your little dress-up show.
128
00:05:04,567 --> 00:05:07,150
It's a big dress-up show,
and you know it.
129
00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:10,816
You see what he's trying
to do, right?
130
00:05:10,817 --> 00:05:12,066
Feed a large group
on a budget?
131
00:05:12,067 --> 00:05:14,524
No. He thinks by inviting them
instead of me,
132
00:05:14,525 --> 00:05:16,649
I'm gonna beg to be
in his little brigade.
133
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,191
But he's got
another thing coming.
134
00:05:18,192 --> 00:05:20,399
I'm gonna teach him a lesson
about teaching lessons.
135
00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:22,649
Hey, do your evil smile,
for old times' sake.
136
00:05:24,650 --> 00:05:26,024
There's my guy.
137
00:05:28,358 --> 00:05:31,024
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
138
00:05:31,025 --> 00:05:33,107
Bleeding or ice-cream truck--
which is it?
139
00:05:33,108 --> 00:05:35,607
This was my favorite shirt,
and it's been cut in half!
140
00:05:35,608 --> 00:05:37,192
Anna-Kat!
141
00:05:38,650 --> 00:05:40,482
'Sup?
Did you do this
to my shirt?!
142
00:05:40,483 --> 00:05:41,691
I sure did.
143
00:05:41,692 --> 00:05:43,566
Since you had to wear my shirt
as a crop top,
144
00:05:43,567 --> 00:05:45,774
I decided to just give you
one of your own.
145
00:05:45,775 --> 00:05:48,399
And I will do so every time
you wear one of my shirts.
146
00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:51,233
Got it?
I'm never touching your clothes
again, you little psycho!
147
00:05:52,233 --> 00:05:53,399
Mom!
148
00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:55,732
Anna-Kat, I want to talk
to you in the hall.
149
00:05:55,733 --> 00:05:56,858
Now.
150
00:06:00,442 --> 00:06:02,649
Anna-Kat, you can never
do that again!
151
00:06:02,650 --> 00:06:03,941
That was brilliant.
152
00:06:03,942 --> 00:06:05,941
Destroying property is not okay!
153
00:06:05,942 --> 00:06:07,107
Never prouder.
154
00:06:07,108 --> 00:06:09,357
You are in huge trouble!
155
00:06:09,358 --> 00:06:10,775
Like,
I could cry right now.
156
00:06:18,442 --> 00:06:22,982
Today we fight not only
for our independence,
157
00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:24,982
but also for Mother Earth!
158
00:06:24,983 --> 00:06:27,857
And so, on this Earth Day,
we honor her
159
00:06:27,858 --> 00:06:31,191
by painting the fields red
with the blood of our enemies!
160
00:06:32,983 --> 00:06:34,774
But, seriously, the recycle bins
are placed throughout,
161
00:06:34,775 --> 00:06:36,399
so let's leave the park
cleaner than we found it.
162
00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:37,191
- Yeah!
- Yeah.
163
00:06:37,192 --> 00:06:38,232
- You got it.
- Cool.
164
00:06:38,233 --> 00:06:40,857
That includes
fingernail clippings, Dane.
165
00:06:40,858 --> 00:06:42,274
I beat a meth addiction,
Ross.
166
00:06:42,275 --> 00:06:45,024
I'm sorry if I have
a little nervous energy.
167
00:06:45,025 --> 00:06:47,399
Look not upon these men
with friendly eye,
168
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:49,442
for soon they shall be foe.
169
00:06:51,483 --> 00:06:53,358
Bad guys.
Oh.
170
00:06:54,942 --> 00:06:56,691
Oliver?
171
00:06:56,692 --> 00:06:58,025
He joined the British.
172
00:07:00,567 --> 00:07:02,191
I can't believe it.
173
00:07:02,192 --> 00:07:03,732
My son has become my enemy.
174
00:07:03,733 --> 00:07:06,399
Ooh.
175
00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:08,857
Can you say that again
a little louder
176
00:07:08,858 --> 00:07:12,191
with more feeling,
towards that bush?
177
00:07:12,192 --> 00:07:13,399
Thanks.
Uh...
178
00:07:20,317 --> 00:07:21,857
I can't believe Oliver
joined the Redcoats.
179
00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:23,357
It's the ultimate
betrayal.
180
00:07:23,358 --> 00:07:26,399
Nah. You want to know what
the ultimate betrayal is?
181
00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:28,192
Domestic-animal
abandonment.
182
00:07:30,483 --> 00:07:32,941
Shout-out to our sponsors,
Pet Pals of America.
183
00:07:32,942 --> 00:07:35,066
Who's saving who?
184
00:07:35,067 --> 00:07:36,566
You got to face
your son.
185
00:07:36,567 --> 00:07:37,732
You're right.
186
00:07:37,733 --> 00:07:39,274
Beats was a man
who took action.
187
00:07:39,275 --> 00:07:40,900
It's time Greg Otto
did the same.
188
00:07:42,108 --> 00:07:44,232
Badonkadonk incoming.
Do not miss this!
189
00:07:44,233 --> 00:07:46,567
Zoom in for the tears,
then rack it back for dat ass!
190
00:07:51,317 --> 00:07:53,732
Okay. According to Mr. Otto,
the Hudson brothers
191
00:07:53,733 --> 00:07:55,649
just sit in this tent and guard
the cannonballs for battle.
192
00:07:55,650 --> 00:07:57,399
But they're just
spray-painted softballs
193
00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:59,107
and we're pretending
they're cannonballs, right?
194
00:07:59,108 --> 00:08:02,192
If you were my age, we'd be the
kings of my special-ed class.
195
00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:06,066
So, Brother Hudson,
are you afraid of heights?
196
00:08:06,067 --> 00:08:07,441
No.
197
00:08:07,442 --> 00:08:09,357
Have you ever been
to a roller-skating party?
198
00:08:09,358 --> 00:08:10,357
Yep.
199
00:08:10,358 --> 00:08:12,566
When/how do you
feel most loved?
200
00:08:12,567 --> 00:08:14,191
Can we have some quiet time, please?
201
00:08:14,192 --> 00:08:15,525
Okay.
202
00:08:17,650 --> 00:08:19,066
How are you enjoying
your quiet time?
203
00:08:25,900 --> 00:08:27,149
What are you doing here?
204
00:08:27,150 --> 00:08:28,899
Oh, I thought
the reenactment sounded fun,
205
00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:30,899
so I recruited Cooper
and here we are.
206
00:08:30,900 --> 00:08:32,732
And I love the uniform.
207
00:08:32,733 --> 00:08:35,191
Could it use a few
Tom Ford touches? Sure.
208
00:08:35,192 --> 00:08:37,191
There's no way you thought
this sounded fun, Oliver.
209
00:08:37,192 --> 00:08:38,232
Oh, you wouldn't know
what I thought
210
00:08:38,233 --> 00:08:39,524
because you didn't
invite me.
211
00:08:39,525 --> 00:08:41,691
You invited Trip,
Franklin, and Lonnie.
212
00:08:41,692 --> 00:08:44,399
I invited them because they
don't mock me like you do.
213
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:45,607
Whenever I share
an interest,
214
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:47,024
I can count on you
to make fun of it.
215
00:08:47,025 --> 00:08:49,107
And this reenactment
is a big deal for me,
216
00:08:49,108 --> 00:08:52,191
so why would I want
to be around you for it?
217
00:08:52,192 --> 00:08:54,357
You don't have to be!
I'm a Redcoat!
218
00:08:54,358 --> 00:08:56,107
And this time,
we're gonna win!
219
00:08:56,108 --> 00:08:57,899
That's not how it works, man.
220
00:08:57,900 --> 00:09:01,232
Just for that, I'm canceling
the Boston Tea Party.
221
00:09:01,233 --> 00:09:03,066
It already happened.
222
00:09:03,067 --> 00:09:06,691
These guys are so lame.
223
00:09:06,692 --> 00:09:08,524
Principal Ablin: I hate to call
you in during my lunch hour.
224
00:09:08,525 --> 00:09:10,357
I don't mind.
I do.
225
00:09:10,358 --> 00:09:12,232
I called you down here
because Anna-Kat
226
00:09:12,233 --> 00:09:13,899
has been very disruptive
in class
227
00:09:13,900 --> 00:09:15,775
and is refusing
to listen to authority.
228
00:09:18,150 --> 00:09:20,941
Anna-Kat, we don't eat
our snacks for another hour.
229
00:09:20,942 --> 00:09:23,399
Sucks for you guys.
230
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:25,691
Have you tried
talking to her?
Of course.
231
00:09:25,692 --> 00:09:27,691
We even brought up the prospect
of silent lunch,
232
00:09:27,692 --> 00:09:29,316
but she said she's
a powerful woman
233
00:09:29,317 --> 00:09:30,774
who will not
let her voice be stifled.
234
00:09:30,775 --> 00:09:33,441
Kind of hard to argue with that,
seeing as I'm a cisgender
235
00:09:33,442 --> 00:09:35,524
straight man marinating
in white privilege.
236
00:09:35,525 --> 00:09:37,232
The district had me take
an online seminar,
237
00:09:37,233 --> 00:09:39,482
so I'm both woke
and duly chastened.
238
00:09:39,483 --> 00:09:41,024
I know what's going on.
239
00:09:41,025 --> 00:09:43,399
I taught Anna-Kat a lesson
about standing up for herself,
240
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,649
and it may have gotten
a little out of hand.
241
00:09:45,650 --> 00:09:47,357
I'll take care of it.
Thanks.
242
00:09:47,358 --> 00:09:49,607
By the way, I like what
you've done with your hair,
243
00:09:49,608 --> 00:09:51,067
not that I was looking
at your hair.
244
00:09:52,233 --> 00:09:53,400
I'm going
to go self-report.
245
00:09:58,817 --> 00:10:01,732
We cool?
No, we not cool.
246
00:10:01,733 --> 00:10:03,816
Look, I'm proud of you
for standing up
247
00:10:03,817 --> 00:10:06,357
for what you want,
but you have to obey the rules.
248
00:10:06,358 --> 00:10:08,232
Nah. I'm done letting people
walk all over me.
249
00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:09,524
Well, I'm your mother,
250
00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:11,316
and you have to listen
to what I say.
251
00:10:11,317 --> 00:10:12,482
Just because
you're bigger than me
252
00:10:12,483 --> 00:10:14,191
doesn't mean
I can't stand up to you.
253
00:10:14,192 --> 00:10:16,524
No, no, no.
254
00:10:16,525 --> 00:10:18,357
We're not playing
that game.
255
00:10:18,358 --> 00:10:23,566
Do as I say
or no more bedtime tuck-ins.
256
00:10:23,567 --> 00:10:25,192
That's fine.
I'll put myself to bed.
257
00:10:26,275 --> 00:10:27,566
Okay.
You're grounded.
258
00:10:27,567 --> 00:10:29,858
Watch me as I clear
my social calendar.
259
00:10:30,733 --> 00:10:32,691
Beep, boop, beep!
All done.
260
00:10:32,692 --> 00:10:33,942
See you at home.
261
00:10:35,567 --> 00:10:37,066
No more Taco Tuesday!
262
00:10:37,067 --> 00:10:39,025
Anna-Kat:
Bored with it!
263
00:10:40,192 --> 00:10:41,566
Alright, men.
264
00:10:41,567 --> 00:10:45,358
Ready?
265
00:10:46,567 --> 00:10:48,232
Fire!
Bang!
266
00:10:48,233 --> 00:10:50,191
Reload!
267
00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:51,732
You know, it's one thing,
Oliver making fun of me.
268
00:10:51,733 --> 00:10:52,857
I can handle
being made fun of.
269
00:10:52,858 --> 00:10:54,524
Yeah.
I mean, look at you.
Bang!
270
00:10:54,525 --> 00:10:55,816
You're wearing pantyhose
and a blouse.
271
00:10:55,817 --> 00:10:57,607
Exactly. Fire!
272
00:10:57,608 --> 00:10:58,691
Bang!
273
00:10:58,692 --> 00:10:59,983
Reload!
274
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:03,316
Bang!
But showing up here to--
to what?
275
00:11:03,317 --> 00:11:05,482
To spite me, to mock me
in front of my soldiers?
276
00:11:05,483 --> 00:11:06,732
It's just disrespectful.
277
00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:08,691
General,
your tent has been hit.
Bang!
278
00:11:08,692 --> 00:11:10,566
What?! All my battle plans
were in there!
279
00:11:10,567 --> 00:11:13,191
And the pocket-sized painting
of my hot colonial wife.
280
00:11:13,192 --> 00:11:14,816
And my leprechaun.
Bang!
281
00:11:14,817 --> 00:11:16,274
Me having a leprechaun
is just as likely
282
00:11:16,275 --> 00:11:17,357
as you
having a hot wife.
283
00:11:17,358 --> 00:11:19,149
Tell your three cats
I say hi.
284
00:11:19,150 --> 00:11:20,774
Oh, the three cats
you beg
285
00:11:20,775 --> 00:11:23,357
to babysit every time
I go out of town?
286
00:11:23,358 --> 00:11:24,899
Hold the line!
287
00:11:24,900 --> 00:11:26,232
Get ahold of yourselves.
288
00:11:26,233 --> 00:11:28,399
This war
is tearing us apart.
289
00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:29,441
Fire!
290
00:11:29,442 --> 00:11:31,357
Bang!
Hold the line, men!
291
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:34,107
Look alive, team!
The Caboose is loose!
292
00:11:38,900 --> 00:11:41,567
Dear God.
The devastation.
293
00:11:42,858 --> 00:11:43,982
I'd like to share
this moment with you,
294
00:11:43,983 --> 00:11:45,524
but I have no idea
what this means.
295
00:11:45,525 --> 00:11:47,482
The Redcoats shot a cannon,
blew up the tent.
296
00:11:47,483 --> 00:11:49,732
Everything's destroyed.
Got it.
297
00:11:49,733 --> 00:11:53,524
Dear God.
The devastation.
298
00:11:56,983 --> 00:11:58,399
Oliver.
299
00:11:58,400 --> 00:11:59,732
Historically,
this never happened.
300
00:11:59,733 --> 00:12:01,649
He's going out of his way
to ruin my day.
301
00:12:01,650 --> 00:12:03,732
I can't believe
all our provisions are gone.
302
00:12:03,733 --> 00:12:05,191
Yo, time-out.
303
00:12:05,192 --> 00:12:06,816
I'm just gonna sneak in,
I'mma snag my Pop-Tarts.
304
00:12:06,817 --> 00:12:07,982
There are no time-outs.
305
00:12:07,983 --> 00:12:09,357
We're in the middle
of a battle, soldier.
306
00:12:09,358 --> 00:12:10,399
This is real!
307
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:11,982
Should be fine.
308
00:12:11,983 --> 00:12:14,441
Do you think
they can save it?!
309
00:12:15,692 --> 00:12:17,107
That was unfortunate
timing.
310
00:12:19,900 --> 00:12:21,732
And who was
your 3rd-grade teacher?
311
00:12:21,733 --> 00:12:23,691
Mr. Barney.
And who was
your 4th-grade teacher?
312
00:12:23,692 --> 00:12:25,024
Mrs. Anderson.
313
00:12:25,025 --> 00:12:27,107
And what would you describe
as your lowest moment?
314
00:12:27,108 --> 00:12:29,232
This!
This right now!
315
00:12:29,233 --> 00:12:30,982
Here! Please kill me
with this cannonball
316
00:12:30,983 --> 00:12:32,774
so I don't have to hear
one more question!
317
00:12:32,775 --> 00:12:35,066
I had no idea
that's how you felt.
318
00:12:35,067 --> 00:12:37,024
Because that's the one question
you never asked me.
319
00:12:37,025 --> 00:12:39,066
Well, if that's the case,
you shouldn't have to die.
320
00:12:39,067 --> 00:12:40,066
I will.
321
00:12:40,067 --> 00:12:41,941
I wish mall security
would've stopped you
322
00:12:41,942 --> 00:12:43,275
from being my brother, too.
323
00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:48,566
Aw, Franklin. Come on.
I didn't mean it!
324
00:12:48,567 --> 00:12:50,691
I'll answer your questions!
325
00:12:50,692 --> 00:12:54,566
My favorite color is...
326
00:12:54,567 --> 00:12:55,649
It is a hard question,
327
00:12:55,650 --> 00:12:57,774
but the answer is
it depends on my mood!
328
00:12:57,775 --> 00:12:59,107
Franklin!
329
00:13:03,858 --> 00:13:05,316
I'm completely powerless.
330
00:13:05,317 --> 00:13:07,566
I have no more leverage
over Anna-Kat.
331
00:13:07,567 --> 00:13:09,357
Why don't you try
that healing stone I gave you?
332
00:13:09,358 --> 00:13:11,024
It can be very calming.
333
00:13:11,025 --> 00:13:12,899
Did you charge it in the last
full moon like I told you?
334
00:13:12,900 --> 00:13:14,857
If you charge it by throwing it
out the car window,
335
00:13:14,858 --> 00:13:17,191
then, yes,
it's fully charged.
336
00:13:17,192 --> 00:13:19,066
I don't know what else
to do with her.
337
00:13:19,067 --> 00:13:20,566
I've pulled out
all the stops.
338
00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:21,982
Have you really pulled out
all of them--
339
00:13:21,983 --> 00:13:24,649
guilt, threats,
denying her basic necessities?
340
00:13:24,650 --> 00:13:25,774
Of course!
341
00:13:25,775 --> 00:13:27,066
Well, what about
public shaming--
342
00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:29,441
watching the embarrassment
wash over their faces
343
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:31,232
as they
blink back tears?
344
00:13:31,233 --> 00:13:32,316
So fun.
345
00:13:32,317 --> 00:13:34,816
Shaming.
How could I forget that?
346
00:13:34,817 --> 00:13:37,107
So simple but so effective.
347
00:13:37,108 --> 00:13:38,691
I used it on
Taylor and Oliver,
348
00:13:38,692 --> 00:13:40,941
but the third kid always
falls through the cracks.
349
00:13:40,942 --> 00:13:43,357
It's why Anna-Kat still
doesn't know how to ride a bike.
350
00:13:43,358 --> 00:13:44,816
She doesn't know
how to ride a bike?
351
00:13:44,817 --> 00:13:46,566
That's not falling
through the cracks,
352
00:13:46,567 --> 00:13:48,191
that's you being a--
353
00:13:48,192 --> 00:13:50,232
So loving that she fell
through the cracks.
354
00:13:53,775 --> 00:13:55,649
How are you feeling,
General?
355
00:13:55,650 --> 00:13:57,649
I'd like to think I'm feeling
quite a bit like Beats felt--
356
00:13:57,650 --> 00:13:58,941
he, a British national,
357
00:13:58,942 --> 00:14:00,566
fighting for the Americans
against his brethren,
358
00:14:00,567 --> 00:14:03,066
me, a father,
fighting against my own son.
359
00:14:03,067 --> 00:14:04,482
Lieutenant Maddox!
360
00:14:04,483 --> 00:14:07,691
I f-feel cold.
A-Are you there?
361
00:14:07,692 --> 00:14:10,567
I'm here. I'm here.
Don't you leave me, damn it!
362
00:14:11,442 --> 00:14:14,149
Really? The one
thing I asked you not to do.
363
00:14:14,150 --> 00:14:15,232
Stay calm, Lieutenant.
364
00:14:15,233 --> 00:14:16,441
Let's get you
to the medical tent.
365
00:14:16,442 --> 00:14:18,482
Come on.
366
00:14:25,817 --> 00:14:28,107
Can you believe my dad said
he didn't want me around?
367
00:14:28,108 --> 00:14:29,524
Are you actually
asking me?
368
00:14:29,525 --> 00:14:31,941
'Cause if you're asking me,
I'm going to tell you the truth.
369
00:14:31,942 --> 00:14:34,357
I'm asking.
Then, yes,
I can believe he said that.
370
00:14:34,358 --> 00:14:36,816
You can be a complete
and total jerk to him sometimes.
371
00:14:36,817 --> 00:14:40,024
Hey!
Do you have any idea
how lucky you are?
372
00:14:40,025 --> 00:14:42,857
My dad's somewhere
on the Aegean Sea right now.
373
00:14:42,858 --> 00:14:44,274
That's all he told me.
374
00:14:44,275 --> 00:14:47,482
It's like... can't a guy get some
coordinates or something?
375
00:14:47,483 --> 00:14:50,774
And all your dad wants to do
is share his interests with you,
376
00:14:50,775 --> 00:14:54,025
but you're too busy crapping
all over him to notice.
377
00:14:55,233 --> 00:14:56,816
Where you going?
378
00:14:56,817 --> 00:14:58,357
I'm switching sides.
379
00:14:58,358 --> 00:15:00,357
Your dad's a general
worth fighting for.
380
00:15:04,025 --> 00:15:05,191
Yellow fever.
381
00:15:05,192 --> 00:15:07,400
I hate it here.
382
00:15:11,358 --> 00:15:13,566
Franklin!
383
00:15:13,567 --> 00:15:15,357
Franklin, where are you?!
384
00:15:15,358 --> 00:15:16,857
Over here.
385
00:15:16,858 --> 00:15:19,024
Franklin!
Oh, God, you've been shot.
386
00:15:19,025 --> 00:15:20,192
This is all my fault.
387
00:15:22,317 --> 00:15:24,066
Oh, no.
Gangrene's setting in.
388
00:15:24,067 --> 00:15:25,399
I have to get you
out of here.
Too late.
389
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:26,524
The British are coming.
390
00:15:30,608 --> 00:15:32,107
Not my brother!
391
00:15:32,108 --> 00:15:33,107
Bang!
392
00:15:37,858 --> 00:15:39,233
You die.
393
00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,024
You saved my life.
394
00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:45,024
This kind of bravery
is exactly why I chose you
395
00:15:45,025 --> 00:15:46,317
for my "Hero" paper.
396
00:15:48,192 --> 00:15:49,774
Wait. Are you really writing
your paper on me?
397
00:15:49,775 --> 00:15:52,399
Yeah. That's why I had
to ask you so many questions.
398
00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:53,857
But why me?
Easy.
399
00:15:53,858 --> 00:15:56,399
We read at the same level,
we have the same taste in girls,
400
00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:58,232
and you're the nicest person
I know.
401
00:15:58,233 --> 00:15:59,733
Isn't that what being
a hero's all about?
402
00:16:01,733 --> 00:16:03,857
I'm sorry for yelling
at you earlier.
403
00:16:03,858 --> 00:16:05,691
That was definitely
not heroic.
404
00:16:05,692 --> 00:16:07,649
No, but we're
the Hudson brothers.
405
00:16:07,650 --> 00:16:08,691
We're all we got.
406
00:16:08,692 --> 00:16:10,107
Mom died
during childbirth,
407
00:16:10,108 --> 00:16:12,274
and Dad ran off
with a fur trapper.
408
00:16:12,275 --> 00:16:13,649
I made up a backstory.
409
00:16:15,233 --> 00:16:17,982
Fake brother or not,
I'm here for you.
410
00:16:17,983 --> 00:16:21,316
Thanks. So, as my big brother,
can you take me to the medic?
411
00:16:21,317 --> 00:16:23,899
Yeah. Let's get
that gunshot wound cleaned up.
412
00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:26,857
No, the real medic.
I'm allergic to sticker glue.
413
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:33,857
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
414
00:16:37,275 --> 00:16:38,857
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
415
00:16:41,692 --> 00:16:42,774
What are you doing?!
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
416
00:16:42,775 --> 00:16:44,399
Getting into the groove.
417
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:46,524
And when that bell
rings and this hallway
fills up with kids...
418
00:16:46,525 --> 00:16:49,899
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
...I will be fully
turning down for what.
419
00:16:49,900 --> 00:16:53,024
Please! I'm begging you,
do not dance!
420
00:16:54,900 --> 00:16:58,816
I won't as long as you realize
being a powerful young woman
421
00:16:58,817 --> 00:17:01,232
means speaking up
when you've been wronged.
422
00:17:01,233 --> 00:17:05,066
It doesn't mean doing whatever
you want whenever you want.
423
00:17:05,067 --> 00:17:07,191
Got it?
Got it.
I'll obey the rules.
424
00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:08,607
Just put
the dish towel away.
425
00:17:08,608 --> 00:17:10,357
Don't test me,
because one misstep
426
00:17:10,358 --> 00:17:12,691
and I'll be cutting a rug
at school, graduation,
427
00:17:12,692 --> 00:17:14,191
your work Christmas party.
428
00:17:14,192 --> 00:17:17,149
I have this power...
forever.
429
00:17:17,150 --> 00:17:18,524
I'll behave.
I promise.
430
00:17:18,525 --> 00:17:21,482
Good! Now you get back in class
and learn how to add.
431
00:17:21,483 --> 00:17:24,067
I'm in 5th grade.
We're multiplying fractions.
432
00:17:25,150 --> 00:17:26,816
We're adding.
We're adding.
433
00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:34,274
Here is about to be hanged
General Beats,
434
00:17:34,275 --> 00:17:37,982
a traitor
to the English crown.
435
00:17:37,983 --> 00:17:40,566
Would anyone like to speak
on this man's behalf?
436
00:17:40,567 --> 00:17:42,024
I would.
437
00:17:49,567 --> 00:17:52,399
I have a duty
to clear my conscience.
438
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:55,357
I have been insubordinate
to the General,
439
00:17:55,358 --> 00:17:57,191
and I was wrong
to take for granted
440
00:17:57,192 --> 00:18:00,691
what a caring
and gracious leader he is.
441
00:18:00,692 --> 00:18:02,607
His life should be spared
so that I can spend
442
00:18:02,608 --> 00:18:05,607
the rest of mine showing him
how much he means to me.
443
00:18:10,442 --> 00:18:14,149
I did that, muchacho.
That was me.
444
00:18:14,150 --> 00:18:15,816
Thank you, Oliver.
445
00:18:15,817 --> 00:18:17,566
But I still have to die
to inspire my men
446
00:18:17,567 --> 00:18:19,649
to fight
and win the battle.
447
00:18:19,650 --> 00:18:20,816
Traitor!
448
00:18:23,233 --> 00:18:24,816
I really appreciate
what you said,
449
00:18:24,817 --> 00:18:26,482
and it means the world to me
that you're here,
450
00:18:26,483 --> 00:18:27,482
no matter
how it happened.
451
00:18:27,483 --> 00:18:28,566
I love you, Dad.
452
00:18:28,567 --> 00:18:29,900
I love you, too, son.
453
00:18:31,608 --> 00:18:33,816
Wow.
454
00:18:33,817 --> 00:18:35,150
That was a nice moment.
455
00:18:39,858 --> 00:18:41,191
Let's stop rolling, guys.
456
00:18:41,192 --> 00:18:43,357
We shouldn't be making fun
of Professor Badonkadonk.
457
00:18:43,358 --> 00:18:44,607
No, no, no, no.
458
00:18:44,608 --> 00:18:47,691
We absolutely should,
just... not about this.
459
00:18:47,692 --> 00:18:49,024
Let's pack it in,
460
00:18:49,025 --> 00:18:51,150
like Beats packs it
into his pleated khakis.
461
00:18:54,233 --> 00:18:57,732
Any final words,
General Beats?
462
00:18:57,733 --> 00:19:00,107
May my death serve
as an inspiration
463
00:19:00,108 --> 00:19:02,191
to the sons and daughters
of the revolution.
464
00:19:02,192 --> 00:19:03,774
Now and forever more!
465
00:19:03,775 --> 00:19:06,149
You're smiling
too much.
466
00:19:06,150 --> 00:19:07,899
I mean,
still smile a little.
467
00:19:07,900 --> 00:19:09,399
Dane's got to take
the newsletter photo.
468
00:19:10,775 --> 00:19:12,691
Everybody say, "Execution!"
469
00:19:12,692 --> 00:19:14,732
Execution!
470
00:19:19,108 --> 00:19:21,024
May my death serve
as an inspiration
471
00:19:21,025 --> 00:19:23,107
to the sons and daughters
of the revolution.
472
00:19:23,108 --> 00:19:26,482
Now and forever more.
473
00:19:26,483 --> 00:19:29,149
Wow.
That was riveting.
474
00:19:29,150 --> 00:19:30,899
Wish I could've seen it.
475
00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:31,982
Actually, you can.
476
00:19:31,983 --> 00:19:33,607
Oh, God.
I gotta come clean.
477
00:19:33,608 --> 00:19:35,607
My guys were filming
the whole time.
478
00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:37,232
Lonnie, I knew you
couldn't help yourself.
479
00:19:37,233 --> 00:19:39,274
No, I did help myself!
480
00:19:39,275 --> 00:19:42,066
After being there
and watching you and Oliver,
481
00:19:42,067 --> 00:19:45,066
I saw how much it meant to you,
so I'm not using the footage.
482
00:19:45,067 --> 00:19:48,066
But I did edit it
into a heroic highlight reel
483
00:19:48,067 --> 00:19:50,982
from the battle,
so... check it out.
484
00:19:50,983 --> 00:19:52,067
Okay.
485
00:19:59,692 --> 00:20:01,524
{\an8}Fire!
Bang!
486
00:20:01,525 --> 00:20:03,357
{\an8}Reload!
487
00:20:09,692 --> 00:20:11,316
{\an8}Everybody say, "Execution!"
488
00:20:11,317 --> 00:20:13,399
{\an8}Execution!
489
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:16,316
{\an8}I guess there is something more
embarrassing than your dancing.
36771
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