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1
00:00:02,517 --> 00:00:06,141
Day 6,593
of parenthood.
2
00:00:06,142 --> 00:00:07,183
Odd-numbered day.
You get first pick.
3
00:00:08,392 --> 00:00:09,516
I'll take Anna-Kat.
4
00:00:09,517 --> 00:00:10,849
Okay, I'll check in
on Taylor.
5
00:00:10,850 --> 00:00:12,557
Can you take Oliver?
Uhp!
You know the rule--
6
00:00:12,558 --> 00:00:14,266
when you pick first, you also
have to take Oliver.
7
00:00:14,267 --> 00:00:16,474
Whoever said kids grow up fast
is an idiot.
8
00:00:16,475 --> 00:00:17,849
They grow up slow,
Greg.
9
00:00:17,850 --> 00:00:18,974
Real slow.
10
00:00:25,100 --> 00:00:26,891
Oh, buenas noches,
Mrs. Otto.
11
00:00:26,892 --> 00:00:28,224
Cooper.
You have 10 houses.
12
00:00:28,225 --> 00:00:29,474
Get out of mine.
13
00:00:29,475 --> 00:00:31,224
We're actually having an
important conversation.
14
00:00:31,225 --> 00:00:32,474
Is this conversation
trying to get me
15
00:00:32,475 --> 00:00:34,016
to buy you
that Gucci belt?
16
00:00:34,017 --> 00:00:35,807
Because I'm running out of
curse words to put before "no."
17
00:00:35,808 --> 00:00:37,182
No, actually,
18
00:00:37,183 --> 00:00:38,599
we're talking about
that troubled kid
19
00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:40,057
who called in
to Teen Help Line.
20
00:00:40,058 --> 00:00:41,807
We've got an idea
who it is.
21
00:00:41,808 --> 00:00:43,807
He said everyone
thinks he's Superman.
22
00:00:43,808 --> 00:00:46,099
Well, this kid Trevor's always
wearing a Superman T-shirt.
23
00:00:46,100 --> 00:00:48,016
Shocker-- he doesn't
have any friends.
24
00:00:48,017 --> 00:00:49,474
So, we're going
to befriend him.
25
00:00:49,475 --> 00:00:51,349
I'm actually
proud of you.
26
00:00:51,350 --> 00:00:52,599
I'm proud of us,
too, Mom.
27
00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:53,891
Ugh.
28
00:00:53,892 --> 00:00:55,349
Does that mean you'll buy me
that belt?
29
00:00:55,350 --> 00:00:56,766
you and the horse
you rode in on, you
30
00:00:56,767 --> 00:00:57,808
No!
31
00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:00,849
Oh. She found
a new one.
32
00:01:04,267 --> 00:01:06,724
Friendly reminder to complete
your life-skills list.
33
00:01:06,725 --> 00:01:08,349
If you don't finish it,
you don't go to prom.
34
00:01:08,350 --> 00:01:09,724
I did
the important ones.
35
00:01:09,725 --> 00:01:11,557
I changed
the windshield-wiper fluid,
36
00:01:11,558 --> 00:01:13,516
and I switched around fruit
stickers at the grocery store.
37
00:01:13,517 --> 00:01:15,932
I got a Honeycrisp for the price
of a Granny Smith.
38
00:01:15,933 --> 00:01:17,474
That one was clearly
your mother's.
39
00:01:17,475 --> 00:01:19,432
Plus, I sent my application
in to Carnegie Mellon,
40
00:01:19,433 --> 00:01:20,766
and I did
my audition tape.
41
00:01:20,767 --> 00:01:22,766
I even noticed I spelled
"Carnegie" wrong,
42
00:01:22,767 --> 00:01:23,849
and then I fixed it.
43
00:01:23,850 --> 00:01:26,057
Then I noticed I spelled
"Mellon" wrong,
44
00:01:26,058 --> 00:01:27,141
and then I fixed that.
45
00:01:27,142 --> 00:01:28,641
And then I saw I spelled
"Carnegie" wrong
46
00:01:28,642 --> 00:01:30,641
in a different way,
and then I fixed that.
47
00:01:30,642 --> 00:01:31,849
I'm doing great.
48
00:01:31,850 --> 00:01:33,557
Have you prepared for
your alumni interview?
49
00:01:33,558 --> 00:01:35,141
Dude, that's like
a month away!
50
00:01:35,142 --> 00:01:36,932
And yes,
I'm all ready for it.
You mean you--
51
00:01:36,933 --> 00:01:39,224
Yes! Whatever you're about to
say, I did it! I did everything!
52
00:01:39,225 --> 00:01:40,599
Okay!
Stop yelling at me!
53
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:41,683
Stop making me
yell at you!
54
00:01:44,308 --> 00:01:45,974
Do all your friends yell at
their fathers?
55
00:01:45,975 --> 00:01:47,182
You're getting off easy.
56
00:01:47,183 --> 00:01:49,057
Olivia Andal slaps her dad
in public.
57
00:01:53,475 --> 00:01:54,308
Time to get to bed.
58
00:01:55,933 --> 00:01:58,932
First, I need you to sign
a permission slip really quick.
59
00:01:58,933 --> 00:02:00,182
What's it for?
60
00:02:00,183 --> 00:02:01,349
And why are you
showing it to me
61
00:02:01,350 --> 00:02:03,099
like Taylor shows me
her report card?
62
00:02:03,100 --> 00:02:05,557
My new friends invited me to
join their scout troop,
63
00:02:05,558 --> 00:02:06,766
The Wildflower Girls.
64
00:02:06,767 --> 00:02:07,766
That sounds great.
65
00:02:07,767 --> 00:02:09,099
Wait. Do you promise?
66
00:02:09,100 --> 00:02:10,807
Say it.
Say you promise.
67
00:02:10,808 --> 00:02:12,725
Fine. I promise.
68
00:02:13,683 --> 00:02:15,182
Anna-Kat!
69
00:02:15,183 --> 00:02:17,182
Sage, Nancy, and Tara Summers
are the troop leaders.
70
00:02:17,183 --> 00:02:18,307
You know
I can't stand them.
71
00:02:18,308 --> 00:02:20,099
Well, what difference
does it make?
72
00:02:20,100 --> 00:02:21,641
You're not in the troop.
I am.
73
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:23,766
Because those terrible moms
and their daughters
74
00:02:23,767 --> 00:02:25,724
are bound to be
a bad influence on you.
75
00:02:25,725 --> 00:02:28,391
Plus, they're going to e-mail me
and want me to volunteer,
76
00:02:28,392 --> 00:02:30,474
and I get migraines if I have
to fake smile too long.
77
00:02:30,475 --> 00:02:31,682
Unh-unh. Remember?
78
00:02:31,683 --> 00:02:33,224
You promised.
79
00:02:33,225 --> 00:02:35,224
A mother's promise
means nothing.
80
00:02:35,225 --> 00:02:36,224
Good night.
81
00:02:42,975 --> 00:02:44,016
Taylor's upset with me.
82
00:02:44,017 --> 00:02:45,266
Anna-Kat's upset with me.
83
00:02:45,267 --> 00:02:47,307
How's Oliver?
Regular terrible.
84
00:02:47,308 --> 00:02:48,307
Hmm.
85
00:02:48,308 --> 00:02:49,432
Other than
the Mother's Day gifts
86
00:02:49,433 --> 00:02:51,349
they force them
to make me at school,
87
00:02:51,350 --> 00:02:53,266
I'm not sure what
I'm getting out of all this.
88
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,391
{\an8}I'm feeling guilty about
not letting Anna-Kat
89
00:03:05,392 --> 00:03:07,266
{\an8}sign up
for Wildflower Girls.
90
00:03:07,267 --> 00:03:09,474
{\an8}At what age can I stop
putting my kids first?
91
00:03:09,475 --> 00:03:10,599
{\an8}Right when
they can talk.
92
00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:12,432
{\an8}If you can say "milk,"
you can get it yourself.
93
00:03:12,433 --> 00:03:14,349
My kids
always come first.
94
00:03:14,350 --> 00:03:16,349
{\an8}Do I miss having
the master bedroom? Sure.
95
00:03:16,350 --> 00:03:18,724
But they wanted a climbing wall.
Who am I to say no?
96
00:03:18,725 --> 00:03:19,932
Uh, their mother.
97
00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:21,432
{\an8}You're making
your kids soft.
98
00:03:21,433 --> 00:03:23,182
{\an8}They'd never survive
in the wild.
99
00:03:23,183 --> 00:03:24,974
My kids are not going
to be in the wild.
100
00:03:24,975 --> 00:03:27,141
{\an8}You don't know that.
People end up in the wild.
101
00:03:27,142 --> 00:03:29,057
Can you guys shut up? I'm trying
to work something out.
102
00:03:29,058 --> 00:03:30,724
{\an8}I think you should
let Anna-Kat join.
103
00:03:30,725 --> 00:03:32,349
{\an8}Kids are only young for so long,
and life is hard enough.
104
00:03:32,350 --> 00:03:33,599
{\an8}Give them
what they want.
105
00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:35,307
Electronics,
video games, candy.
106
00:03:35,308 --> 00:03:36,724
Make it rain.
107
00:03:36,725 --> 00:03:39,391
{\an8}Don't listen to her, Katie.
You can't give kids everything.
108
00:03:39,392 --> 00:03:40,892
{\an8}'Cause in the wild,
there's nothing.
109
00:03:42,558 --> 00:03:44,057
{\an8}Sorry, Doris,
Angela might be right.
110
00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:45,474
Oh.
111
00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:47,141
{\an8}You mean you're actually
gonna take my suggestion
112
00:03:47,142 --> 00:03:48,391
{\an8}over hers for once?
113
00:03:48,392 --> 00:03:49,599
Mm-hmm.
Oh.
114
00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:50,974
Excuse me.
115
00:03:52,058 --> 00:03:53,807
I win! I win!
116
00:03:53,808 --> 00:03:55,307
{\an8}I win! I win!
117
00:03:55,308 --> 00:03:56,432
{\an8}You know
that point in life
118
00:03:56,433 --> 00:03:58,099
{\an8}where you think you've
outgrown your friends?
119
00:03:58,100 --> 00:03:59,183
{\an8}This is it.
120
00:04:00,267 --> 00:04:02,141
Take that.
121
00:04:06,558 --> 00:04:07,932
Look at that kid.
122
00:04:07,933 --> 00:04:10,307
Gucci belt.
His life must be great.
123
00:04:10,308 --> 00:04:11,933
A Gucci belt doesn't
make you happy.
124
00:04:13,225 --> 00:04:16,016
{\an8}A limited-edition one worn by
Bradley Cooper at the Oscars.
125
00:04:16,017 --> 00:04:17,142
{\an8}Now, that's happiness.
126
00:04:19,475 --> 00:04:21,057
I can't believe my parents
won't buy me one.
127
00:04:21,058 --> 00:04:23,641
{\an8}They say I can't wear anything
on my body over 500 bucks
128
00:04:23,642 --> 00:04:25,557
{\an8}unless it's braces.
129
00:04:25,558 --> 00:04:26,558
{\an8}Oh, there he is.
130
00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:29,349
Don't mention
Teen Help Line.
131
00:04:29,350 --> 00:04:30,975
Or that he wants to say
adios to his vida.
132
00:04:34,058 --> 00:04:36,724
{\an8}Hey there, Superman.
What's the haps in Metropolis?
133
00:04:36,725 --> 00:04:38,391
Uh, what's going on?
134
00:04:38,392 --> 00:04:39,724
{\an8}Nothing, muchacho.
135
00:04:39,725 --> 00:04:41,516
{\an8}We just thought maybe
we should all hang out.
136
00:04:41,517 --> 00:04:43,557
You guys want to hang out
with me?
137
00:04:43,558 --> 00:04:44,724
I know.
Isn't that great?
138
00:04:44,725 --> 00:04:47,266
No. It's the stupidest thing
I've ever heard.
139
00:04:47,267 --> 00:04:49,599
Look, guys,
it's a Wednesday, alright?
140
00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:52,474
A new comic book just dropped,
so take a hike.
141
00:04:52,475 --> 00:04:53,682
But we're gonna
be your friends.
142
00:04:53,683 --> 00:04:55,974
I don't want to be friends
with you morons.
143
00:04:55,975 --> 00:04:57,474
You've got
a stupid face.
144
00:04:57,475 --> 00:04:59,600
And you just
generally suck.
145
00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:05,849
I guess we're just gonna have to
try harder tomorrow.
146
00:05:05,850 --> 00:05:07,182
Let's not be hasty.
147
00:05:07,183 --> 00:05:09,057
Maybe we should let nature
take its course here.
148
00:05:14,475 --> 00:05:16,141
I can't believe Mom
changed her mind
149
00:05:16,142 --> 00:05:17,766
and is letting you
be a Wildflower Girl.
150
00:05:17,767 --> 00:05:19,224
She would've never done
that for me.
151
00:05:19,225 --> 00:05:20,599
Well, you didn't
have the benefit
152
00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:22,474
of a terrible older sister
to make you look good.
153
00:05:22,475 --> 00:05:23,516
Yeah.
154
00:05:23,517 --> 00:05:24,974
Wait.
155
00:05:24,975 --> 00:05:26,641
I just got off the phone
with Carnegie Mellon.
156
00:05:26,642 --> 00:05:28,557
There's an alumnus coming
through Westport tomorrow,
157
00:05:28,558 --> 00:05:29,807
and they wanted to move up
your interview.
158
00:05:29,808 --> 00:05:31,557
I said yes.
Why would you
move it up?
159
00:05:31,558 --> 00:05:32,807
Because
you're all prepared.
160
00:05:32,808 --> 00:05:34,349
Plus, it's good
to get in early.
161
00:05:34,350 --> 00:05:35,766
And there's
even better news--
162
00:05:35,767 --> 00:05:37,432
your interview
is with Brecken Phillips.
163
00:05:37,433 --> 00:05:39,516
The Broadway guy?
Yeah, he's an alum.
164
00:05:39,517 --> 00:05:40,807
And your interview's
in the afternoon.
165
00:05:40,808 --> 00:05:43,600
Or, as they say in the theatre,
a matinee.
166
00:05:47,850 --> 00:05:49,391
Just so you know,
167
00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:52,058
people outside this house
think I'm entertaining.
168
00:05:54,933 --> 00:05:56,932
So, you're not ready
at all, huh?
169
00:05:56,933 --> 00:05:59,099
No. I just told Dad I was
to get him off my back.
170
00:05:59,100 --> 00:06:00,182
What am I gonna do?
171
00:06:00,183 --> 00:06:01,766
You're just gonna have to
cram for it.
172
00:06:01,767 --> 00:06:02,891
You're right.
173
00:06:02,892 --> 00:06:04,474
If I can get through
all of "Harry Potter"
174
00:06:04,475 --> 00:06:05,724
in a weekend,
I can do this.
175
00:06:05,725 --> 00:06:09,057
You read all of "Harry Potter"
in one weekend?
176
00:06:09,058 --> 00:06:10,182
It's a book?
177
00:06:15,892 --> 00:06:17,807
Anna-Kat's here!
178
00:06:17,808 --> 00:06:21,182
Katie, it's so great that
Anna-Kat's joining the troop.
179
00:06:21,183 --> 00:06:23,474
Yes, you must be
so relieved
180
00:06:23,475 --> 00:06:25,724
she'll finally have some
positive female role models.
181
00:06:25,725 --> 00:06:27,557
Mm. Don't feel obligated
to stay.
182
00:06:27,558 --> 00:06:29,099
No, I'll be here.
183
00:06:29,100 --> 00:06:30,557
Okay, Wildflower Girls,
184
00:06:30,558 --> 00:06:32,932
let me see
those wildflower smiles.
185
00:06:34,558 --> 00:06:35,641
Ah.
186
00:06:35,642 --> 00:06:37,391
The girls are learning
to make egg parachutes
187
00:06:37,392 --> 00:06:40,974
so they can earn
their aeronautics badges.
188
00:06:40,975 --> 00:06:45,266
Now, you already have your
parachute attached to your egg.
189
00:06:45,267 --> 00:06:48,307
Now let's launch them and
watch them float down safely.
190
00:06:48,308 --> 00:06:50,682
Three, two, one.
191
00:06:50,683 --> 00:06:51,725
Liftoff!
192
00:06:53,642 --> 00:06:54,849
Yay!
193
00:06:54,850 --> 00:06:56,724
Great job,
you guys.
Really good.
194
00:06:56,725 --> 00:06:59,016
Hortensia, clean up!
195
00:06:59,017 --> 00:07:00,932
Okay, so badge time.
196
00:07:00,933 --> 00:07:02,266
Badge time?
197
00:07:02,267 --> 00:07:04,058
All of the eggs broke.
198
00:07:05,308 --> 00:07:06,849
Aren't you going to make them
try it until it works?
199
00:07:06,850 --> 00:07:08,182
Why would we?
200
00:07:08,183 --> 00:07:09,932
To teach them about
a job well done.
201
00:07:09,933 --> 00:07:11,474
Ew.
202
00:07:11,475 --> 00:07:13,224
We always hand out badges,
no matter what.
203
00:07:13,225 --> 00:07:14,057
Thank you.
204
00:07:15,142 --> 00:07:17,932
And this is for you,
little lady.
205
00:07:17,933 --> 00:07:19,849
Thank you!
206
00:07:19,850 --> 00:07:21,974
Anna-Kat didn't earn
any of those badges.
207
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:23,557
Oh, relax, Katie.
208
00:07:23,558 --> 00:07:25,432
It looks better for the pictures
if all the girls match.
209
00:07:25,433 --> 00:07:26,766
And what kind of
life lesson is that?
210
00:07:26,767 --> 00:07:28,849
Uh, a perfect one.
211
00:07:28,850 --> 00:07:30,474
Alright, ladies.
212
00:07:30,475 --> 00:07:32,641
Smile like you'll never have
to worry about money.
213
00:07:33,975 --> 00:07:35,433
Hortensia, snap-snap.
214
00:07:44,433 --> 00:07:47,641
I'm gonna pick out some shoes
that go with my new sash.
215
00:07:51,183 --> 00:07:52,682
Greg, what are
you doing?
216
00:07:52,683 --> 00:07:54,266
Uh, reorganizing
the junk drawer.
217
00:07:54,267 --> 00:07:55,432
Ugh.
218
00:07:57,975 --> 00:08:00,057
We've got bigger problems
around here.
219
00:08:00,058 --> 00:08:02,766
They give Anna-Kat's troop
badges for doing nothing.
220
00:08:02,767 --> 00:08:05,307
I had $20 in dimes
stacked up right here.
221
00:08:05,308 --> 00:08:07,224
I can't pull her out
because I promised
222
00:08:07,225 --> 00:08:08,432
she could
be a part of it.
223
00:08:08,433 --> 00:08:10,057
But...
Here we go.
224
00:08:10,058 --> 00:08:12,516
...I am going to host
the next meeting
225
00:08:12,517 --> 00:08:14,516
and teach the girls
how to make lasagna.
226
00:08:14,517 --> 00:08:16,432
Suspiciously wholesome.
227
00:08:16,433 --> 00:08:18,057
And I'll tell the girls
to take off their sashes
228
00:08:18,058 --> 00:08:19,516
so they don't get messy
229
00:08:19,517 --> 00:08:21,099
and then stuff them in
the garbage disposal
230
00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:22,224
and grind 'em up.
231
00:08:22,225 --> 00:08:23,724
There's my girl!
232
00:08:23,725 --> 00:08:25,766
Wouldn't it be more
inspirational for Anna-Kat
233
00:08:25,767 --> 00:08:27,474
if you actually teach
the girls to cook
234
00:08:27,475 --> 00:08:28,808
and make them earn
their cooking badge?
235
00:08:30,017 --> 00:08:31,558
Mm-hmm.
Probably the way to go.
236
00:08:32,808 --> 00:08:34,307
It's good that we workshop
these things.
237
00:08:34,308 --> 00:08:36,182
Hey.
238
00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:37,432
Can we get rid of
these phone chargers?
239
00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:39,891
One day, the PalmPilot
is coming back.
240
00:08:39,892 --> 00:08:41,016
And when it does,
241
00:08:41,017 --> 00:08:43,183
you bet your ass
Katie Otto's gonna be ready.
242
00:08:44,142 --> 00:08:45,307
Back in the drawer.
243
00:08:50,767 --> 00:08:52,391
What do you think?
244
00:08:52,392 --> 00:08:54,182
I took the laces
out of my Converse.
245
00:08:54,183 --> 00:08:55,182
That's cool, right?
246
00:08:55,183 --> 00:08:56,641
Not now, Anna-Kat.
247
00:08:56,642 --> 00:08:58,557
I'm trying to memorize facts
about Carnegie Mellon.
248
00:08:58,558 --> 00:09:01,182
Did you know there's no such
thing as a Carnegie melon?
249
00:09:01,183 --> 00:09:03,266
I know I told you
to cram,
250
00:09:03,267 --> 00:09:06,224
but turns out you don't
have to work that hard.
251
00:09:06,225 --> 00:09:07,266
What are you
talking about?
252
00:09:07,267 --> 00:09:08,724
At my Wildflower Girls
meeting,
253
00:09:08,725 --> 00:09:11,307
they taught me all you need
to do is show up, smile,
254
00:09:11,308 --> 00:09:12,599
and the world
will deliver.
255
00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:13,932
You're a good smiler.
256
00:09:13,933 --> 00:09:15,891
I am a good smiler.
257
00:09:15,892 --> 00:09:17,307
There you go.
258
00:09:17,308 --> 00:09:19,141
The bee comes
to the wildflower.
259
00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:20,266
Not the other way around.
260
00:09:20,267 --> 00:09:21,432
So, I'm the bee.
261
00:09:21,433 --> 00:09:22,891
That makes a lot of sense.
262
00:09:22,892 --> 00:09:24,974
No, you're the wildflower.
263
00:09:24,975 --> 00:09:26,849
I'll be honest, I didn't even
get it when I was the bee.
264
00:09:35,058 --> 00:09:36,307
I don't know
about this.
265
00:09:36,308 --> 00:09:38,224
Trevor wasn't into it
last time.
266
00:09:38,225 --> 00:09:39,432
He was just
pushing us away
267
00:09:39,433 --> 00:09:41,599
because he has difficulty
managing his feelings.
268
00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:43,349
Textbook depression.
269
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:44,974
It's up to us
to follow through.
270
00:09:44,975 --> 00:09:46,974
It could save his life.
271
00:09:46,975 --> 00:09:48,517
If you say so.
272
00:09:58,600 --> 00:09:59,807
Hey, man.
273
00:09:59,808 --> 00:10:01,474
Can't you losers
get your own lives?
274
00:10:01,475 --> 00:10:03,099
We're just letting you know
you're not alone.
275
00:10:03,100 --> 00:10:05,058
Yeah, because you two idiots
keep showing up.
276
00:10:05,808 --> 00:10:07,599
Zuckerberg, Gates, Jobs.
277
00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:08,849
What do they all
have in common?
278
00:10:08,850 --> 00:10:10,557
I've been all of them
for Halloween?
279
00:10:10,558 --> 00:10:12,891
No, they were all reclusive
nerds when they were young
280
00:10:12,892 --> 00:10:14,682
and became titans of industry.
281
00:10:14,683 --> 00:10:17,224
I'm harnessing my disdain for
everyone at this crappy school
282
00:10:17,225 --> 00:10:18,974
and using it to fuel
my success later in life.
283
00:10:18,975 --> 00:10:20,557
Later in life?
284
00:10:20,558 --> 00:10:22,724
But you called Teen Help Line.
I talked to you.
285
00:10:22,725 --> 00:10:24,724
I don't even know what
Teen Help Line is.
286
00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:26,057
Now, why don't you
make like
287
00:10:26,058 --> 00:10:27,557
lesser-known original
Justice League character
288
00:10:27,558 --> 00:10:28,807
Martian Manhunter
289
00:10:28,808 --> 00:10:30,017
and disappear?
290
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,557
I could've sworn it was him,
but maybe I was wrong.
291
00:10:35,558 --> 00:10:37,266
Hey, Justice League,
watch out!
292
00:10:37,267 --> 00:10:38,349
Hey!
293
00:10:38,350 --> 00:10:39,766
Dude, hide behind
my cape!
294
00:10:41,142 --> 00:10:42,099
Wait! What about
my jacket?!
295
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:43,974
Leave it, leave it!
296
00:10:43,975 --> 00:10:45,182
Leave it!
297
00:10:45,183 --> 00:10:46,641
Okay, Wildflower Girls,
298
00:10:46,642 --> 00:10:50,474
the trick to making
the perfect lasagna is layering.
299
00:10:51,850 --> 00:10:53,516
Let's pay attention.
300
00:10:53,517 --> 00:10:56,349
It goes pasta, meat sauce,
cheese, repeat.
301
00:10:56,350 --> 00:10:57,516
Do it with me.
302
00:10:57,517 --> 00:10:59,849
Look, a lion's friends
with a duck.
303
00:10:59,850 --> 00:11:01,391
Aww!
Aww!
Aww!
Aww!
304
00:11:01,392 --> 00:11:03,766
Hello? Who wants
their cooking badge?
305
00:11:03,767 --> 00:11:05,224
I do.
306
00:11:05,225 --> 00:11:06,183
Hortensia?
307
00:11:16,933 --> 00:11:19,432
Angela, where are you? You said
you were gonna help me.
308
00:11:19,433 --> 00:11:21,141
Ugh, I had to go
to the school.
309
00:11:21,142 --> 00:11:22,932
They accused Sebastian
of plagiarizing
310
00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:25,516
just because he copied
an article he found online.
311
00:11:25,517 --> 00:11:27,766
Unh-unh. I'm going to give that
teacher a piece of my mind.
312
00:11:27,767 --> 00:11:30,391
So, you're mad at the teacher
and not at your son who cheated?
313
00:11:30,392 --> 00:11:32,349
What kind of message
does that send to him?
314
00:11:32,350 --> 00:11:34,433
That Mommy's little baby
does no wrong. Pfft.
315
00:11:35,642 --> 00:11:38,141
Oh, no. I listened
to the wrong friend.
316
00:11:38,142 --> 00:11:39,432
Can we get
our badges now?
317
00:11:39,433 --> 00:11:40,932
No. You can't.
318
00:11:40,933 --> 00:11:43,474
The only person getting a badge
is Hortensia,
319
00:11:43,475 --> 00:11:45,641
because she actually
did the work.
320
00:11:45,642 --> 00:11:47,266
What?! Mom!
321
00:11:47,267 --> 00:11:49,141
I don't like not getting
what I want.
322
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:49,849
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
323
00:11:49,850 --> 00:11:52,849
I hate you, Hortensia.
324
00:11:52,850 --> 00:11:55,891
When I close my eyes,
the entire world disappears,
325
00:11:55,892 --> 00:11:58,224
and I am a bird.
326
00:11:58,225 --> 00:11:59,766
Fly, Hortensia.
327
00:11:59,767 --> 00:12:00,849
Fly.
328
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:07,391
I am happy to represent
Carnegie Mellon
329
00:12:07,392 --> 00:12:10,516
because it gave me
the confidence and skills
330
00:12:10,517 --> 00:12:13,432
to do everything
from Stanley Kowalski
331
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:15,682
to the voice of
bleach-free surface cleaner.
332
00:12:15,683 --> 00:12:17,141
Oh, oh!
333
00:12:17,142 --> 00:12:18,766
Stains, get outta here!
334
00:12:18,767 --> 00:12:19,974
That was you?
335
00:12:19,975 --> 00:12:21,474
Yeah.
336
00:12:21,475 --> 00:12:23,224
So, I-I got to tell you,
337
00:12:23,225 --> 00:12:25,891
the-- the music department
was-- was a big fan
338
00:12:25,892 --> 00:12:28,016
of your audition tape,
and so was I.
339
00:12:28,017 --> 00:12:29,224
Cool.
340
00:12:29,225 --> 00:12:31,599
Alright, so, uh,
why do you think
341
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:33,641
Carnegie Mellon
is the right school for you?
342
00:12:33,642 --> 00:12:34,932
Because of
the music program.
343
00:12:34,933 --> 00:12:37,350
And what aspects
of our music program?
344
00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:40,474
All of them?
345
00:12:40,475 --> 00:12:42,266
Are-- Are--
Are you asking me, or...?
346
00:12:42,267 --> 00:12:44,307
No...?
347
00:12:44,308 --> 00:12:45,849
Okay, alright.
Never mind.
348
00:12:45,850 --> 00:12:49,266
Um, so, where do you see
yourself in 10 years?
349
00:12:49,267 --> 00:12:50,307
At Carnegie Mellon.
350
00:12:50,308 --> 00:12:52,641
Okay, we're
a four-year program, so...
351
00:12:52,642 --> 00:12:54,807
And a great one.
352
00:12:54,808 --> 00:12:56,016
Yes. Um...
353
00:12:56,017 --> 00:12:58,057
Is there anything else
you'd like to add?
354
00:12:58,058 --> 00:13:02,141
Uh, what you can bring
to-- to Carnegie?
355
00:13:02,142 --> 00:13:04,057
Like a pillow
and comforter and stuff?
356
00:13:04,058 --> 00:13:06,891
No.
Like your philosophy.
357
00:13:06,892 --> 00:13:08,266
Oh!
I have one of those.
358
00:13:08,267 --> 00:13:10,807
Um, I'm gonna
show up, smile,
359
00:13:10,808 --> 00:13:12,308
and the world
will deliver.
360
00:13:14,850 --> 00:13:16,807
The people who made this form
361
00:13:16,808 --> 00:13:18,891
really didn't plan
for someone like you.
362
00:13:22,350 --> 00:13:24,099
What is
going on here?
363
00:13:24,100 --> 00:13:26,141
We all got 911 texts
from our daughters.
364
00:13:26,142 --> 00:13:28,224
Anna-Kat's mom won't
give us our badges.
365
00:13:28,225 --> 00:13:30,057
Katie, give the girls
their badges.
366
00:13:30,058 --> 00:13:32,099
They did nothing
but fool around.
367
00:13:32,100 --> 00:13:33,599
It's okay.
You're new here.
368
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,432
Just hand them over,
and we'll forgive you.
369
00:13:35,433 --> 00:13:37,474
What kind of world
do we live in
370
00:13:37,475 --> 00:13:39,891
where you're so afraid of
disappointing your children?
371
00:13:39,892 --> 00:13:41,641
If they misbehave
or don't listen,
372
00:13:41,642 --> 00:13:43,516
they shouldn't be
rewarded for it.
373
00:13:43,517 --> 00:13:44,725
I don't follow you.
Are you well?
374
00:13:45,933 --> 00:13:47,974
It's never the child's
fault nowadays.
375
00:13:47,975 --> 00:13:50,474
It's always the teacher
or the coach or--
376
00:13:50,475 --> 00:13:53,182
It's fine. You just tell me
when to stop.
377
00:13:53,183 --> 00:13:54,182
No!
378
00:13:54,183 --> 00:13:55,432
This is bigger than money.
379
00:13:55,433 --> 00:13:57,349
Just...
give me the badges!
380
00:13:58,808 --> 00:13:59,849
That's right.
Take it.
381
00:13:59,850 --> 00:14:00,807
Come on.
Use your muscles.
382
00:14:02,392 --> 00:14:04,724
Damn you and
your poor-person strength!
383
00:14:04,725 --> 00:14:06,432
Mom, you're
embarrassing me!
384
00:14:06,433 --> 00:14:08,141
Come on, girls.
We're taking you home.
385
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,099
Katie, if you don't
give the girls
386
00:14:12,100 --> 00:14:14,182
their cooking badges
at the next meeting,
387
00:14:14,183 --> 00:14:15,682
Anna-Kat
is out of the troop.
388
00:14:16,558 --> 00:14:17,932
Yeah, you better go,
389
00:14:17,933 --> 00:14:19,599
because I'm about to earn
my face-slapping badge!
390
00:14:25,017 --> 00:14:27,349
I can't believe
you embarrassed me like that.
391
00:14:28,683 --> 00:14:30,266
You know what?
392
00:14:30,267 --> 00:14:33,224
I'm eating your hidden stash
of 100 Grand bars.
393
00:14:33,225 --> 00:14:35,600
Hey! That's
my plant candy!
394
00:14:36,808 --> 00:14:38,932
Stop. Come here.
395
00:14:38,933 --> 00:14:39,808
Sit down.
396
00:14:41,850 --> 00:14:44,641
I know that you're mad,
but you're a big girl now,
397
00:14:44,642 --> 00:14:47,766
so I'm going to explain to you
why I don't like this troop.
398
00:14:47,767 --> 00:14:49,516
And then I'm going to
let you decide
399
00:14:49,517 --> 00:14:51,099
what you think
that I should do.
400
00:14:51,100 --> 00:14:51,849
Fair?
401
00:14:51,850 --> 00:14:53,183
Fair.
402
00:14:56,433 --> 00:14:58,974
It is a bad lesson
to teach young girls
403
00:14:58,975 --> 00:15:00,724
that you get
something for nothing.
404
00:15:00,725 --> 00:15:02,599
Because outside of
a town like this,
405
00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:05,141
you do nothing,
you get nothing.
406
00:15:05,142 --> 00:15:08,932
You girls are smarter,
stronger, and better than that.
407
00:15:08,933 --> 00:15:10,266
Do you understand?
408
00:15:10,267 --> 00:15:11,058
I do.
409
00:15:12,350 --> 00:15:14,974
I understand that I want you to
give my friends their badges
410
00:15:14,975 --> 00:15:16,392
and stop embarrassing me.
411
00:15:22,517 --> 00:15:23,641
Hey, where'd they go?
412
00:15:23,642 --> 00:15:24,932
Does everyone know?
413
00:15:24,933 --> 00:15:26,474
Seriously, Katie, there was
a lot of candy here
414
00:15:26,475 --> 00:15:27,557
three days ago.
415
00:15:28,808 --> 00:15:31,141
Well, it was, uh,
nice meeting you, and, uh,
416
00:15:31,142 --> 00:15:32,974
the admissions department
will be in touch soon.
417
00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:34,641
Okay.
418
00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:37,057
Oh, perfect!
419
00:15:37,058 --> 00:15:39,975
I just wasted my afternoon,
and now I got to call AAA.
420
00:15:42,058 --> 00:15:45,182
I meant..."wasted" in a...
different way than you think.
421
00:15:45,183 --> 00:15:46,266
Oh.
422
00:15:46,267 --> 00:15:47,849
I can change it for you.
423
00:15:47,850 --> 00:15:49,724
You know how
to change a tire?
424
00:15:49,725 --> 00:15:51,058
Yeah. Pop the trunk.
425
00:15:53,392 --> 00:15:54,642
Put on
the parking brake.
426
00:15:57,058 --> 00:15:58,057
Alright.
427
00:16:01,350 --> 00:16:02,849
Uh, don't you still
need the jack?
428
00:16:02,850 --> 00:16:06,349
You loosen the lug nuts first
so the tire doesn't spin.
429
00:16:06,350 --> 00:16:07,641
Is this a "Parent Trap"
situation?
430
00:16:07,642 --> 00:16:09,724
Did the more pragmatic twin
tag in
431
00:16:09,725 --> 00:16:10,807
while I was
in the bathroom?
432
00:16:10,808 --> 00:16:12,224
No.
433
00:16:12,225 --> 00:16:13,557
Changing a tire
was on my list.
434
00:16:13,558 --> 00:16:14,891
Your list?
435
00:16:14,892 --> 00:16:16,849
I'm working on a life-skills
list before I go to college.
436
00:16:16,850 --> 00:16:18,016
Really?
437
00:16:18,017 --> 00:16:19,557
Yeah, you know...
438
00:16:19,558 --> 00:16:21,891
...things like
how to change a tire,
439
00:16:21,892 --> 00:16:24,849
how balance a checkbook,
how to unclog a toilet.
440
00:16:24,850 --> 00:16:27,057
Do you know flushable wipes
aren't really flushable?
441
00:16:27,058 --> 00:16:29,974
I did not.
442
00:16:29,975 --> 00:16:33,057
Uh, you know, Taylor,
I-I got to confess,
443
00:16:33,058 --> 00:16:35,142
my impression of you
wasn't stellar.
444
00:16:36,683 --> 00:16:38,016
Oh.
445
00:16:38,017 --> 00:16:40,307
You came off as kind of
a one-dimensional person,
446
00:16:40,308 --> 00:16:42,266
but I think I had you
pegged wrong.
447
00:16:42,267 --> 00:16:45,682
I'd like to hear more about
this list-- and you.
448
00:16:45,683 --> 00:16:48,266
You know, how would you like to
do this interview over again?
449
00:16:48,267 --> 00:16:49,766
That'd be great.
450
00:16:49,767 --> 00:16:52,016
Uh, no, no.
Tire first.
451
00:16:54,517 --> 00:16:57,474
I'd help, but
I'm a hand double for Shrek.
452
00:17:03,767 --> 00:17:06,266
It wasn't Trevor,
so what do we do now?
453
00:17:06,267 --> 00:17:08,932
Let's just forget about it.
You've done everything you can.
454
00:17:08,933 --> 00:17:11,349
Oh, and don't worry about
the incident in the cafeteria.
455
00:17:11,350 --> 00:17:13,016
My PR guy's
already on it.
456
00:17:13,017 --> 00:17:15,849
He had to move a few things
around, but this week,
457
00:17:15,850 --> 00:17:17,349
Derek Jeter's gonna
sit with us at lunch.
458
00:17:17,350 --> 00:17:19,891
Hey, Superman!
Think fast!
459
00:17:19,892 --> 00:17:21,766
Ooh, nice grab!
Alright,
I'll see you at practice.
460
00:17:21,767 --> 00:17:23,516
Oh, my God.
461
00:17:23,517 --> 00:17:25,141
Is Will Hansen Superman?
462
00:17:25,142 --> 00:17:27,057
That's the voice
on the phone.
463
00:17:27,058 --> 00:17:28,557
Why would he want
to end his life?
464
00:17:28,558 --> 00:17:31,057
He's got the sneakers,
the belt, and the watch.
465
00:17:31,058 --> 00:17:32,682
He's rocking full Gucch.
466
00:17:32,683 --> 00:17:34,849
If that's not happiness,
I don't know what is.
467
00:17:34,850 --> 00:17:37,391
Happiness is actually
Gucci sneakers worn by--
468
00:17:37,392 --> 00:17:39,099
Please stop.
469
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:40,599
...Matt Damon.
470
00:17:45,892 --> 00:17:48,391
You guys, I almost blew
my Carnegie Mellon interview,
471
00:17:48,392 --> 00:17:50,099
but then Brecken Phillips
got a flat tire,
472
00:17:50,100 --> 00:17:51,099
and I changed it
for him.
473
00:17:51,100 --> 00:17:52,474
He was
super impressed.
474
00:17:52,475 --> 00:17:53,849
Since when do you know
how to change a tire?
475
00:17:53,850 --> 00:17:55,391
It's on that stupid
life-skills list
476
00:17:55,392 --> 00:17:56,974
Mom and Dad
are forcing her to do.
477
00:17:56,975 --> 00:17:58,474
But that stupid
life-skills list
478
00:17:58,475 --> 00:18:00,682
got me one step closer
to Carnegie Mellon.
479
00:18:00,683 --> 00:18:02,766
They're super annoying,
but maybe Mom and Dad
480
00:18:02,767 --> 00:18:04,391
might actually know what
they're talking about.
481
00:18:04,392 --> 00:18:07,266
Huh. They're always telling me
money doesn't buy happiness.
482
00:18:07,267 --> 00:18:08,766
I thought that was just
poor talk,
483
00:18:08,767 --> 00:18:10,224
but now
I kind of get it.
484
00:18:10,225 --> 00:18:12,392
Are you two saying that
Mom and Dad are sometimes right?
485
00:18:13,767 --> 00:18:14,433
Yeah.
486
00:18:15,475 --> 00:18:17,141
Huh.
487
00:18:17,142 --> 00:18:19,224
I've got to process this
over a Baby Ruth.
488
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:30,641
Katie!
489
00:18:30,642 --> 00:18:33,224
I hope you brought something
for the kids.
490
00:18:33,225 --> 00:18:34,932
I did.
491
00:18:34,933 --> 00:18:36,474
We're so glad.
492
00:18:36,475 --> 00:18:38,557
We like having
Anna-Kat in the troop.
493
00:18:38,558 --> 00:18:41,100
Be a shame if her mother
blew it for her.
494
00:18:42,392 --> 00:18:45,099
Come on up, girls,
and get your badges.
495
00:18:45,100 --> 00:18:46,225
Yeah!
Yay!
496
00:18:54,392 --> 00:18:55,517
I don't want this badge.
497
00:18:57,433 --> 00:18:59,099
I didn't earn it.
498
00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:00,974
None of us did.
499
00:19:00,975 --> 00:19:05,057
If you want something,
you have to work for it.
500
00:19:05,058 --> 00:19:06,307
Because in the real world,
501
00:19:06,308 --> 00:19:08,391
you don't just get
everything handed to you.
502
00:19:08,392 --> 00:19:09,766
I mean, what if
your parents
503
00:19:09,767 --> 00:19:12,224
decide to squander
your trust funds
504
00:19:12,225 --> 00:19:13,682
or you want to
marry for love?
505
00:19:14,933 --> 00:19:16,224
It happens, ladies.
506
00:19:16,225 --> 00:19:18,307
And what are
you gonna do then?
507
00:19:18,308 --> 00:19:21,225
We are smarter, stronger,
and better than that.
508
00:19:23,725 --> 00:19:25,725
I'm not trained in CPR!
509
00:19:28,142 --> 00:19:30,891
Window shopping shouldn't
earn me a hiking badge.
510
00:19:30,892 --> 00:19:33,641
I did not successfully
breed a chinchilla.
511
00:19:33,642 --> 00:19:35,725
I already knew how
to cook lasagna.
512
00:19:36,433 --> 00:19:38,891
From now on, we don't get badges
unless we earn them.
513
00:19:38,892 --> 00:19:40,974
Right, Wildflower Girls?
514
00:19:40,975 --> 00:19:42,599
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
515
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:43,557
Badges!
516
00:19:43,558 --> 00:19:45,224
We don't need
no stinking badges!
517
00:19:45,225 --> 00:19:46,432
What do you think
you're doing?!
518
00:19:46,433 --> 00:19:47,974
This is madness!
519
00:19:47,975 --> 00:19:49,974
How much is it gonna take for
you to put those sashes back on?
520
00:19:49,975 --> 00:19:50,808
Hmm?
521
00:19:52,017 --> 00:19:54,641
So, you listened to me?
522
00:19:54,642 --> 00:19:56,057
No.
523
00:19:56,058 --> 00:19:57,974
I listened to
Taylor and Oliver,
524
00:19:57,975 --> 00:19:59,766
who then told me
to listen to you.
525
00:19:59,767 --> 00:20:01,557
And your father said
trickle-down parenting
526
00:20:01,558 --> 00:20:02,849
wouldn't work.
527
00:20:10,808 --> 00:20:14,307
Day 6,596
of parenthood.
528
00:20:14,308 --> 00:20:17,141
Even-numbered day.
I get to pick first,
and I choose Oliver.
529
00:20:17,142 --> 00:20:18,391
No! I want Oliver.
530
00:20:18,392 --> 00:20:19,599
Sorry.
531
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:20,891
It's a crazy turn of events
in three days.
532
00:20:20,892 --> 00:20:21,642
Mm.
533
00:20:28,225 --> 00:20:29,642
{\an8}I have something
for you.
534
00:20:30,850 --> 00:20:32,891
{\an8}It's an integrity badge.
535
00:20:32,892 --> 00:20:34,142
{\an8}Because you earned it.
536
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:36,599
{\an8}Thanks, Mom.
537
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:37,725
{\an8}Not so fast.
538
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:40,432
{\an8}I don't care about
the Baby Ruths so much,
539
00:20:40,433 --> 00:20:42,225
{\an8}but where are
my 100 Grand bars?
540
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:44,849
{\an8}You have 10 seconds.
39144
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