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1
00:00:01,233 --> 00:00:03,816
As soon as you guys are done,
the kitchen is mine.
2
00:00:03,817 --> 00:00:06,399
I have to have eight lasagnas
by 2:00 p.m.
3
00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:08,191
Where are my oven mitts?
4
00:00:08,192 --> 00:00:10,025
You can use my puppets
if you want, Mrs. A.
5
00:00:11,275 --> 00:00:13,774
Can you French braid my hair
before school today?
6
00:00:13,775 --> 00:00:15,816
Honey, I can't,
but we'll do it tomorrow.
7
00:00:15,817 --> 00:00:17,274
You said that yesterday.
8
00:00:17,275 --> 00:00:18,357
I'm sorry. I'm swamped.
9
00:00:18,358 --> 00:00:19,817
Go upstairs
and grab your backpack.
10
00:00:21,483 --> 00:00:22,857
Hey. I need to talk to you
about something.
11
00:00:22,858 --> 00:00:23,941
No time to talk.
12
00:00:23,942 --> 00:00:25,567
What happened
to my spatula?
13
00:00:27,817 --> 00:00:29,066
Everybody needs to go.
14
00:00:29,067 --> 00:00:30,274
Trip,
take Taylor to school.
15
00:00:30,275 --> 00:00:31,900
Oh, we're actually not
driving together.
16
00:00:32,817 --> 00:00:34,857
Since I'm going to college
next year, Trip and I
17
00:00:34,858 --> 00:00:37,524
are gonna practice being
in a long-distance relationship.
18
00:00:37,525 --> 00:00:39,649
We decided that we're
not gonna see each other
for the next few weeks,
19
00:00:39,650 --> 00:00:41,191
so this is goodbye
for a while.
20
00:00:41,192 --> 00:00:42,274
Mm-hmm.
21
00:00:44,942 --> 00:00:46,107
Goodbye.
22
00:00:46,108 --> 00:00:46,775
Bye.
23
00:00:48,775 --> 00:00:49,691
Bye-bye.
24
00:00:49,692 --> 00:00:51,274
I'll always have you
in here.
25
00:00:51,275 --> 00:00:53,817
And I have you in here,
and I want you out there!
26
00:00:55,900 --> 00:00:58,357
Oh, my God!
Lonnie Spears!
27
00:00:58,358 --> 00:00:59,649
Aah!
28
00:00:59,650 --> 00:01:00,941
Is this Greg's house?
29
00:01:00,942 --> 00:01:02,441
Lonnie Spears
knows your dad's name?
30
00:01:02,442 --> 00:01:03,941
How cool is that?!
31
00:01:03,942 --> 00:01:05,524
Katie, this is what I wanted
to talk to you about.
32
00:01:05,525 --> 00:01:08,107
This is the YouTuber
that I'm ghostwriting
the autobiography for.
33
00:01:08,108 --> 00:01:09,982
It's nice to meet you, Katie.
34
00:01:11,233 --> 00:01:12,441
Why is that funny?
35
00:01:12,442 --> 00:01:14,191
I don't know.
36
00:01:14,192 --> 00:01:16,649
Hey, I forgot my phone charger.
You got one I can use?
37
00:01:16,650 --> 00:01:18,107
Yeah,
there's one by the TV.
38
00:01:18,108 --> 00:01:18,900
Parkour!
39
00:01:21,817 --> 00:01:22,566
Jump!
40
00:01:24,067 --> 00:01:26,024
Why is that idiot
in our house?
41
00:01:26,025 --> 00:01:27,274
Just so you know,
42
00:01:27,275 --> 00:01:29,691
that idiot has
20 million Instagram followers
43
00:01:29,692 --> 00:01:30,816
and is a multi-millionaire.
44
00:01:30,817 --> 00:01:32,191
He's rich?
Mm.
45
00:01:32,192 --> 00:01:34,816
Our kids are idiots, too,
and they're not earning a dime.
46
00:01:34,817 --> 00:01:36,649
Katie, I need material
for this book,
47
00:01:36,650 --> 00:01:38,899
but I can't get Lonnie to talk
about anything substantial.
48
00:01:38,900 --> 00:01:40,316
I brought him here
because I thought
49
00:01:40,317 --> 00:01:41,774
putting him in a calmer
environment might help.
50
00:01:41,775 --> 00:01:43,399
You sell lasagnas, right?
51
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:45,691
You ever think about putting
fake eyeballs in it as a prank?
52
00:01:45,692 --> 00:01:47,441
It would be hilarious.
53
00:01:47,442 --> 00:01:49,649
Your generation
is truly the worst.
54
00:01:49,650 --> 00:01:51,316
Nah, dawg.
We made GIFs.
55
00:01:51,317 --> 00:01:52,357
Greatest generation ever.
56
00:01:52,358 --> 00:01:53,400
Yeet!
57
00:01:54,733 --> 00:01:57,149
Can you please take him
to your office?
58
00:01:57,150 --> 00:01:59,649
We can't work in there
because you've turned it
into your supply closet.
59
00:01:59,650 --> 00:02:01,941
Boxes of tomato paste
on every free surface
60
00:02:01,942 --> 00:02:04,066
do not create
a professional environment.
61
00:02:04,067 --> 00:02:05,191
I can't believe
you're saying that,
62
00:02:05,192 --> 00:02:07,857
because my office is
where everybody hangs out,
63
00:02:07,858 --> 00:02:09,733
and I can't
get anything done.
64
00:02:20,900 --> 00:02:22,066
Oh, my God.
65
00:02:22,067 --> 00:02:24,024
She's doing that thing
with the stairs again.
66
00:02:24,025 --> 00:02:25,691
Could her OCD be back?
67
00:02:25,692 --> 00:02:28,232
Your daughter would make
a cool Boomerang video.
68
00:02:28,233 --> 00:02:29,691
I wouldn't even
need to loop it.
69
00:02:29,692 --> 00:02:31,191
You know that video
you showed me
70
00:02:31,192 --> 00:02:33,107
when you teased that bear
with a Slim Jim?
71
00:02:33,108 --> 00:02:34,316
Uh-huh.
72
00:02:34,317 --> 00:02:35,441
She's the bear.
73
00:02:45,692 --> 00:02:48,566
Hey, did you say anything
to Anna-Kat in the car?
74
00:02:48,567 --> 00:02:51,232
{\an8}Of course not. You made me
take Lonnie with me to
drop her off at school.
75
00:02:51,233 --> 00:02:52,899
{\an8}He had her filming him
with his head out the window
76
00:02:52,900 --> 00:02:53,941
so his cheeks flapped
like a dog.
77
00:02:53,942 --> 00:02:55,857
Is she back
to her old behavior?
78
00:02:55,858 --> 00:02:58,066
It might be
a one-time thing, right?
79
00:02:58,067 --> 00:02:59,191
Yeah.
80
00:02:59,192 --> 00:03:00,691
Or she was just doing
a little dance.
81
00:03:00,692 --> 00:03:01,858
Of course.
There's no reason to overreact.
82
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,441
Oh, no.
83
00:03:26,733 --> 00:03:28,982
I don't know
whether to sit down and cry
84
00:03:28,983 --> 00:03:31,024
or let her have a go
at the junk drawer.
85
00:03:36,317 --> 00:03:38,982
Hey, I'm heading
to Sam Beckett's
helicopter christening.
86
00:03:38,983 --> 00:03:40,566
You sure
you don't want to come?
87
00:03:40,567 --> 00:03:42,274
I can't. I'm about to start
my first day at Teen Help Line.
88
00:03:42,275 --> 00:03:43,941
They're putting me
on the phones.
89
00:03:43,942 --> 00:03:47,441
Dude! You should call yourself,
because your life is tragic!
90
00:03:47,442 --> 00:03:48,816
I know.
91
00:03:48,817 --> 00:03:50,274
{\an8}It's the last place
I want to be.
92
00:03:50,275 --> 00:03:52,482
{\an8}But it's gonna help me
get into Harvard.
93
00:03:52,483 --> 00:03:53,649
Oh, I've got to go.
94
00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:55,066
Don't sweat it, amigo.
95
00:03:55,067 --> 00:03:56,149
It's helicopter christening
season,
96
00:03:56,150 --> 00:03:57,482
so you can always
catch the next one.
97
00:03:59,442 --> 00:04:00,899
{\an8}Before we get started,
98
00:04:00,900 --> 00:04:03,274
{\an8}I want to make sure
you're comfortable.
99
00:04:03,275 --> 00:04:05,107
Well, it is a little chilly
in here.
100
00:04:05,108 --> 00:04:06,524
{\an8}Mm. I hear you.
You're feeling cold.
101
00:04:06,525 --> 00:04:07,774
{\an8}We will
get through this.
102
00:04:07,775 --> 00:04:09,024
I can just
put on a sweater.
103
00:04:09,025 --> 00:04:10,524
You seem to have found
a solution.
104
00:04:11,858 --> 00:04:13,816
{\an8}Your ability to succeed
is endless.
105
00:04:13,817 --> 00:04:15,482
You have the opposite vibe
of my mom.
106
00:04:15,483 --> 00:04:16,857
{\an8}Oh.
107
00:04:16,858 --> 00:04:18,357
{\an8}I just want to warn you,
some of the calls
108
00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:20,066
{\an8}that you're gonna take
might be a little tough.
109
00:04:20,067 --> 00:04:21,357
{\an8}You know,
people seem to think
110
00:04:21,358 --> 00:04:23,441
{\an8}that the kids in Westport
don't have any problems,
111
00:04:23,442 --> 00:04:25,774
{\an8}but they need
as much guidance and help
112
00:04:25,775 --> 00:04:26,816
as all the other kids
in the world.
113
00:04:26,817 --> 00:04:28,191
{\an8}Except for
the kids in Denmark.
114
00:04:28,192 --> 00:04:29,774
{\an8}That's just a country
of happy people.
115
00:04:29,775 --> 00:04:31,482
No one knows why.
116
00:04:31,483 --> 00:04:33,107
{\an8}I'll just stick
to the script you gave me,
117
00:04:33,108 --> 00:04:34,316
{\an8}and if things get weird,
118
00:04:34,317 --> 00:04:36,316
{\an8}I'll put the caller on hold
and find a supervisor.
119
00:04:36,317 --> 00:04:38,316
{\an8}You did it again.
Came up with your own solution.
120
00:04:39,775 --> 00:04:41,732
{\an8}I learn more from you
than you learn from me.
121
00:04:41,733 --> 00:04:43,066
It's starting
to feel that way.
122
00:04:43,067 --> 00:04:44,316
Mm.
123
00:04:44,317 --> 00:04:46,192
Ooh. Here we go!
124
00:04:49,858 --> 00:04:51,274
{\an8}Hello?
This is Teen Help Line.
125
00:04:51,275 --> 00:04:53,732
{\an8}I'm here to listen.
What's on your mind today?
126
00:04:53,733 --> 00:04:55,982
{\an8}Young man:
Hi. I-I'm really upset.
127
00:04:55,983 --> 00:04:58,191
{\an8}Okay, well,
maybe if you talk about it,
128
00:04:58,192 --> 00:04:59,399
{\an8}it won't seem so bad.
129
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:00,941
{\an8}Yeah, okay.
130
00:05:00,942 --> 00:05:02,357
{\an8}I got this new Porsche
131
00:05:02,358 --> 00:05:03,941
{\an8}because I did really well
on my report card.
132
00:05:03,942 --> 00:05:05,191
{\an8}Go on.
133
00:05:05,192 --> 00:05:06,732
{\an8}But...
134
00:05:06,733 --> 00:05:09,024
{\an8}But it has red brake calipers
and not the yellow ones.
135
00:05:09,900 --> 00:05:11,691
{\an8}Okay, we're going to
work with you
136
00:05:11,692 --> 00:05:13,482
{\an8}and find a way
to make you feel better.
137
00:05:13,483 --> 00:05:14,525
Okay.
138
00:05:17,942 --> 00:05:20,274
Try to think of the good things
you have in your life.
139
00:05:20,275 --> 00:05:23,024
Like getting a Porsche instead
of having your report card
140
00:05:23,025 --> 00:05:25,191
stuck to the fridge
with a weak magnet
141
00:05:25,192 --> 00:05:27,732
until it slowly sinks
to the floor.
142
00:05:29,358 --> 00:05:31,232
I thought
that we were over this,
143
00:05:31,233 --> 00:05:33,149
and then we opened the door
to Anna-Kat's room.
144
00:05:33,150 --> 00:05:35,607
It was like somebody
put OCD in a Coke can,
145
00:05:35,608 --> 00:05:38,482
shook it up,
and sprayed it everywhere.
146
00:05:38,483 --> 00:05:39,857
That's surprising.
147
00:05:39,858 --> 00:05:42,524
She hasn't exhibited any
of the old behavior at school.
148
00:05:42,525 --> 00:05:45,107
In fact, she's getting shining
reports from her teachers.
149
00:05:45,108 --> 00:05:46,816
She's thriving here.
150
00:05:46,817 --> 00:05:48,482
Is there anything different
at home?
151
00:05:49,567 --> 00:05:50,691
Not really.
152
00:05:50,692 --> 00:05:52,607
I mean,
I started a business.
153
00:05:52,608 --> 00:05:53,816
But I'm working
from home,
154
00:05:53,817 --> 00:05:56,399
so everything is
pretty much the same.
155
00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:59,149
Well, if I had to think
of something, I would say
156
00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:02,899
that Katie's fuse has been
a lot shorter than usual.
157
00:06:02,900 --> 00:06:04,899
Oh, I just remembered
a big change
158
00:06:04,900 --> 00:06:06,357
that is about to happen
at home.
159
00:06:06,358 --> 00:06:08,774
Greg is moving out.
160
00:06:08,775 --> 00:06:10,524
I can't believe you think
that this is my fault.
161
00:06:10,525 --> 00:06:12,357
Your fuse is short, too,
162
00:06:12,358 --> 00:06:14,732
constantly chasing that
dumb Donnie around the house.
163
00:06:14,733 --> 00:06:16,316
Dumb Lonnie.
Correction--
164
00:06:16,317 --> 00:06:18,732
Greg is not only moving out,
he's gone missing.
165
00:06:18,733 --> 00:06:19,857
Nobody knows where he is.
166
00:06:19,858 --> 00:06:20,941
Okay, you know what?
167
00:06:20,942 --> 00:06:23,149
Maybe Anna-Kat
is picking up on
168
00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:26,399
a little bit of...
tension between you two.
169
00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:29,149
I mean, I feel it, and I've only
been with you for three minutes.
170
00:06:29,150 --> 00:06:33,357
She may be using old behavior
to comfort herself.
171
00:06:33,358 --> 00:06:35,274
Ah, I feel terrible.
172
00:06:35,275 --> 00:06:36,649
I'm going to talk to her.
173
00:06:36,650 --> 00:06:39,357
I-I think bringing up
the OCD behavior to Anna-Kat
174
00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:41,232
will only exacerbate it.
175
00:06:41,233 --> 00:06:45,482
But I would recommend curbing
the bickering around her.
176
00:06:45,483 --> 00:06:47,566
Try and keep things calm.
177
00:06:47,567 --> 00:06:50,317
As much as you can...
being... who you are.
178
00:06:59,025 --> 00:07:01,982
So, Dr. Ellie said that Greg
and I need to stop bickering
179
00:07:01,983 --> 00:07:04,149
because we might be
triggering Anna-Kat.
180
00:07:04,150 --> 00:07:06,274
Ugh!
I say bicker away.
181
00:07:06,275 --> 00:07:08,066
Fighting means
there's still passion.
182
00:07:08,067 --> 00:07:09,816
Wait. You and Richard
fought all the time,
183
00:07:09,817 --> 00:07:11,399
and your marriage
fell apart.
184
00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:13,607
Yeah, in some cases, fighting
just means you hate each other.
185
00:07:13,608 --> 00:07:14,941
Normally, we don't argue
186
00:07:14,942 --> 00:07:17,149
because we're united
by a common enemy--
187
00:07:17,150 --> 00:07:18,357
the kids.
188
00:07:18,358 --> 00:07:19,982
But since we're both working
out of the house,
189
00:07:19,983 --> 00:07:21,524
we're driving each other
nuts.
190
00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:23,149
I have a tip
to stay calm.
191
00:07:23,150 --> 00:07:24,941
I give it to all my clients
who are on the stand,
192
00:07:24,942 --> 00:07:26,274
being provoked
by opposing counsel.
193
00:07:26,275 --> 00:07:28,774
I tell them to count to five
before answering
194
00:07:28,775 --> 00:07:30,399
so they don't respond
impulsively.
195
00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:31,732
Huh.
196
00:07:31,733 --> 00:07:32,899
That doesn't sound like
I have to change
197
00:07:32,900 --> 00:07:34,816
anything fundamental
about myself.
198
00:07:34,817 --> 00:07:36,607
I'll give it a try.
199
00:07:36,608 --> 00:07:38,524
Oh. Yeah, you should.
200
00:07:38,525 --> 00:07:41,316
Because if it's hard out there
being single for me-- whoo!--
201
00:07:41,317 --> 00:07:42,607
for you, it's gonna be...
202
00:07:45,483 --> 00:07:46,525
Go ahead.
203
00:07:47,525 --> 00:07:49,316
I want to hear it.
204
00:07:49,317 --> 00:07:52,482
Look at you, bringing a Doris
to a Katie fight,
205
00:07:52,483 --> 00:07:53,941
like a damn fool.
206
00:07:56,025 --> 00:07:57,607
How was Teen Help Line?
207
00:07:57,608 --> 00:07:59,149
It was actually
pretty easy.
208
00:07:59,150 --> 00:08:01,441
All the calls were
such Westport problems.
209
00:08:01,442 --> 00:08:03,066
One caller was upset
210
00:08:03,067 --> 00:08:05,274
because a classmate had
the same Prada sweater.
211
00:08:05,275 --> 00:08:07,399
Another caller wanted
to run away from home
212
00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:08,941
because her parents
didn't get Beyoncé
213
00:08:08,942 --> 00:08:10,607
to perform
at her Sweet Sixteen.
214
00:08:10,608 --> 00:08:12,274
They got Ashanti.
215
00:08:12,275 --> 00:08:14,942
I don't know how you deal with
that much trauma in one night.
216
00:08:21,317 --> 00:08:23,649
There.
Four lasagnas done.
217
00:08:23,650 --> 00:08:25,899
And I know I'm not
supposed to say this, but...
218
00:08:25,900 --> 00:08:27,149
you're my favorite.
219
00:08:27,150 --> 00:08:28,691
Thanks, Mom.
220
00:08:28,692 --> 00:08:30,566
Oh, I wasn't--
221
00:08:30,567 --> 00:08:32,274
Believe what you want.
222
00:08:32,275 --> 00:08:34,857
So, how is the trial
long-distance thing
going with Trip?
223
00:08:34,858 --> 00:08:37,649
Good. It's actually a lot easier
than I thought it was gonna be.
224
00:08:37,650 --> 00:08:38,982
Hi, Mrs. A!
225
00:08:38,983 --> 00:08:40,857
No wonder it's easy.
226
00:08:40,858 --> 00:08:43,274
It isn't a real separation
if you're constantly seeing
each other on the phone.
227
00:08:43,275 --> 00:08:44,816
Well, that's how
it's gonna be in college.
228
00:08:44,817 --> 00:08:45,982
We can FaceTime
whenever we want.
229
00:08:45,983 --> 00:08:47,191
You won't have time
for that.
230
00:08:47,192 --> 00:08:48,691
You're going to be
going to classes
231
00:08:48,692 --> 00:08:50,232
and out at the bars
with new friends,
232
00:08:50,233 --> 00:08:52,732
walking home drunk and stumbling
into the wrong house,
233
00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:54,441
eating a stranger's
fried chicken.
234
00:08:54,442 --> 00:08:55,691
God, I miss college.
235
00:08:56,900 --> 00:08:58,691
So, tell me more
about your parents.
236
00:08:58,692 --> 00:08:59,941
I mean, more than just
"They cool."
237
00:08:59,942 --> 00:09:00,817
Oh! Zag!
238
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:05,107
Okay.
We'll put a pin in that.
239
00:09:05,108 --> 00:09:07,066
So far, we've put a pin
in your childhood,
240
00:09:07,067 --> 00:09:08,982
a pin in how
you started your career,
241
00:09:08,983 --> 00:09:10,816
but we've talked endlessly
about how tall I am
242
00:09:10,817 --> 00:09:12,857
and how I flare my nostrils
when I speak.
243
00:09:12,858 --> 00:09:14,816
Yeah.
It's crazy, man.
244
00:09:14,817 --> 00:09:16,732
It's like
talking to a horse.
245
00:09:17,733 --> 00:09:18,691
Right.
246
00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:21,191
These are for customers!
247
00:09:21,192 --> 00:09:23,149
What do you think
you're doing?
248
00:09:23,150 --> 00:09:24,691
Acting on impulse.
249
00:09:24,692 --> 00:09:26,150
It's part of my charm.
250
00:09:28,275 --> 00:09:30,732
Greg, this kitchen
is my office.
251
00:09:30,733 --> 00:09:32,483
How am I
supposed to work if--
252
00:09:35,442 --> 00:09:39,149
One, two,
three, four, five.
253
00:09:39,150 --> 00:09:41,899
Honey, would you keep Lonnie
out of the kitchen?
254
00:09:41,900 --> 00:09:43,107
These are pre-paid orders,
255
00:09:43,108 --> 00:09:44,691
and they took me all morning
to make.
256
00:09:44,692 --> 00:09:47,191
One, two,
three, four, five.
257
00:09:47,192 --> 00:09:49,774
I've been trying to keep him
in my office, but I couldn't
258
00:09:49,775 --> 00:09:51,982
with all your lasagna
ingredients stored in there.
259
00:09:51,983 --> 00:09:55,149
On a sidenote,
do I flare my nose like a horse?
260
00:09:55,150 --> 00:09:57,232
One, two,
three, four, five.
261
00:09:57,233 --> 00:09:59,607
Do you think I have time to look
at your ginormous nostrils?
262
00:09:59,608 --> 00:10:01,524
I'm trying
to run a business here.
263
00:10:01,525 --> 00:10:03,149
One, two,
three, four, five.
264
00:10:03,150 --> 00:10:05,524
But I can't, because
you can't control Lonnie.
265
00:10:05,525 --> 00:10:07,274
One, three, five.
I'm trying.
266
00:10:07,275 --> 00:10:09,191
And we were almost on a roll,
but then you came in
267
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:11,357
to get a crate of tomatoes,
and all he could talk about
268
00:10:11,358 --> 00:10:12,941
was how ripe
the tomatoes need to be
269
00:10:12,942 --> 00:10:15,107
to make the perfect splat when
he throws them off a building.
270
00:10:15,108 --> 00:10:16,649
One, five!
You're driving me crazy!
271
00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:17,732
Five!
272
00:10:17,733 --> 00:10:18,817
I got nothing.
Just five!
273
00:10:21,108 --> 00:10:22,524
How you doing, sweetie?
274
00:10:22,525 --> 00:10:23,899
We're not fighting.
No.
275
00:10:23,900 --> 00:10:25,149
We're just having fun
with numbers.
276
00:10:25,150 --> 00:10:26,566
Numbers are fun.
277
00:10:33,192 --> 00:10:34,899
Mnh.
278
00:10:38,817 --> 00:10:41,316
Mm.
279
00:10:56,317 --> 00:10:58,607
One, two,
three, four, five.
280
00:10:58,608 --> 00:11:00,899
We suck at this.
281
00:11:03,483 --> 00:11:05,732
Oliver, I'm gonna have to
step away for a bit.
282
00:11:05,733 --> 00:11:08,482
My stomach is rumbling,
and I want to honor it.
283
00:11:08,483 --> 00:11:10,191
So you're going to
get a snack.
284
00:11:10,192 --> 00:11:11,941
Thank you
for hearing me.
285
00:11:11,942 --> 00:11:13,732
Are you gonna be okay
to take phone calls on your own
286
00:11:13,733 --> 00:11:14,899
while I'm gone?
287
00:11:14,900 --> 00:11:16,232
Oh, yeah,
I should be good.
288
00:11:16,233 --> 00:11:18,607
The only call I've gotten today
is from a girl who's sad
289
00:11:18,608 --> 00:11:20,650
her diamond studs
make her ears look tiny.
290
00:11:28,067 --> 00:11:30,232
Hello?
This is Teen Help Line.
291
00:11:30,233 --> 00:11:33,024
I'm here to listen. What do you
want to talk about today?
292
00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:35,066
Young man: I don't know.
293
00:11:35,067 --> 00:11:36,607
I just wanted
to talk to someone.
294
00:11:36,608 --> 00:11:38,441
Things are kind of bad.
295
00:11:38,442 --> 00:11:40,732
Well, maybe I can help.
296
00:11:40,733 --> 00:11:44,066
Is it about a designer sweater
or a Beyoncé no-show?
297
00:11:44,067 --> 00:11:46,024
Did you vacation
in the U.S. Virgin Islands
298
00:11:46,025 --> 00:11:47,649
instead of
the British ones?
299
00:11:47,650 --> 00:11:49,482
I just feel, uh...
300
00:11:49,483 --> 00:11:51,316
...it's all too much.
301
00:11:51,317 --> 00:11:53,316
I'm-- I'm lost.
Uh...
302
00:11:55,858 --> 00:11:57,232
Are you still there?
303
00:11:57,233 --> 00:11:58,649
Yes, I'm still here.
304
00:11:58,650 --> 00:12:00,275
I've been in a bad place
lately.
305
00:12:01,942 --> 00:12:03,566
I hear that.
I hear that.
306
00:12:03,567 --> 00:12:05,149
Please keep going.
307
00:12:05,150 --> 00:12:06,732
The funny thing is,
people think I'm Superman,
308
00:12:06,733 --> 00:12:08,816
but I'm not.
309
00:12:08,817 --> 00:12:10,941
They don't get that I just
don't want to do this anymore.
310
00:12:10,942 --> 00:12:12,482
I think I want out.
311
00:12:12,483 --> 00:12:13,566
Out of what?
312
00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:15,191
School? This call?
313
00:12:16,650 --> 00:12:18,232
Supervisor?
314
00:12:19,817 --> 00:12:21,274
Can you hold on
for just one second?
315
00:12:21,275 --> 00:12:22,482
I have to go.
316
00:12:22,483 --> 00:12:24,316
W-Wait. Please promise me
you're gonna call back.
317
00:12:24,317 --> 00:12:25,316
Okay. Okay.
318
00:12:33,025 --> 00:12:34,524
Hello? Is this you?
319
00:12:34,525 --> 00:12:37,149
Young woman: Hi.
My parents are so abusive.
320
00:12:37,150 --> 00:12:40,774
They bought me a dog,
but it isn't a purebred!
321
00:12:44,733 --> 00:12:46,024
Go fish.
322
00:12:46,025 --> 00:12:48,899
Do you have any...7s?
323
00:12:48,900 --> 00:12:50,775
Yeah, I do. Two.
324
00:12:53,942 --> 00:12:55,649
Oh, I don't think
this is gonna work.
325
00:12:55,650 --> 00:12:57,107
Hey, Kate?
326
00:12:57,108 --> 00:12:59,607
Your husband's fancy pen
spit ink all over me.
327
00:12:59,608 --> 00:13:00,774
Where's the washing machine?
328
00:13:00,775 --> 00:13:02,357
In your own home, hopefully.
329
00:13:03,608 --> 00:13:05,607
You are way more fun
than your husband.
330
00:13:05,608 --> 00:13:07,357
I'm guessing that's
not the first time
you've heard that.
331
00:13:07,358 --> 00:13:08,566
That is not okay to say.
332
00:13:08,567 --> 00:13:10,357
But no,
it's not the first time.
333
00:13:11,608 --> 00:13:13,399
No, you hang up first.
334
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:14,732
What's up, my man?!
335
00:13:18,025 --> 00:13:19,857
Oh, my God!
We look so funny!
336
00:13:24,775 --> 00:13:26,191
Dogs can't use phones,
so I can't laugh,
337
00:13:26,192 --> 00:13:27,607
because it doesn't
make any sense.
338
00:13:27,608 --> 00:13:29,107
I look fantastic.
339
00:13:29,108 --> 00:13:30,107
You really do.
340
00:13:35,025 --> 00:13:36,316
Greg?
341
00:13:36,317 --> 00:13:38,482
Come look at this.
342
00:13:38,483 --> 00:13:40,066
If it's another neighbor
throwing a party
343
00:13:40,067 --> 00:13:41,774
we're not invited to,
you have to accept it.
344
00:13:41,775 --> 00:13:42,857
We're not well-liked.
345
00:13:42,858 --> 00:13:43,857
No!
346
00:13:43,858 --> 00:13:45,691
It's Anna-Kat.
347
00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:48,607
She is combing
the front lawn.
348
00:13:48,608 --> 00:13:49,567
What?
349
00:13:51,817 --> 00:13:53,774
Oh, God.
350
00:13:53,775 --> 00:13:55,357
I thought
we were past this.
351
00:13:55,358 --> 00:13:56,816
She's getting worse.
352
00:13:56,817 --> 00:13:58,482
And we haven't even
argued today.
353
00:13:58,483 --> 00:14:01,066
I don't think this has anything
to do with tension between us.
354
00:14:01,067 --> 00:14:03,524
There has to be another reason.
We have to find out why.
355
00:14:03,525 --> 00:14:04,316
She's coming in.
356
00:14:06,233 --> 00:14:08,524
What is the payoff
to being a parent?
357
00:14:08,525 --> 00:14:10,232
Are we doing all of this
358
00:14:10,233 --> 00:14:12,316
just so somebody will
hold our hands on our deathbeds?
359
00:14:12,317 --> 00:14:14,775
Because a nice, cheerful nurse
would be fine.
360
00:14:17,608 --> 00:14:19,232
Hi, honey.
361
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:21,857
Did you have a nice time
playing?
362
00:14:21,858 --> 00:14:23,857
Are you hungry?
Do you need a snack?
Mm-hmm?
363
00:14:23,858 --> 00:14:25,816
So, that's
what we're talking about?
364
00:14:25,817 --> 00:14:27,149
How about the fact
that I'm out there
365
00:14:27,150 --> 00:14:29,024
combing our lawn,
like a loon?
366
00:14:29,025 --> 00:14:31,107
You're not gonna say anything
about that?
367
00:14:31,108 --> 00:14:32,607
What?
368
00:14:32,608 --> 00:14:34,816
What do I have to do to get
you guys to pay attention to me?
369
00:14:34,817 --> 00:14:36,399
I'm running out of ideas!
370
00:14:38,192 --> 00:14:39,691
Anna-Kat!
371
00:14:39,692 --> 00:14:41,274
So it wasn't
about us arguing.
372
00:14:41,275 --> 00:14:43,107
Ha!
373
00:14:43,108 --> 00:14:45,191
I knew Dr. Ellie didn't
know what the hell
she was talking about.
374
00:14:45,192 --> 00:14:47,066
In your face, Dr. Ellie!
375
00:14:47,067 --> 00:14:48,524
You know
this is still on us.
376
00:14:48,525 --> 00:14:50,732
It can still be on us
and in her face, Greg.
377
00:14:58,733 --> 00:15:00,566
Honey,
what is going on?
378
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,274
Were you pretending
to have OCD?
379
00:15:02,275 --> 00:15:03,607
You had us
scared to death.
380
00:15:03,608 --> 00:15:06,274
I just missed the attention
I used to get.
381
00:15:06,275 --> 00:15:08,357
When I was a weirdo,
you guys were all over me.
382
00:15:08,358 --> 00:15:10,024
We realize
we've been busy lately.
383
00:15:10,025 --> 00:15:12,274
Mom especially, since she's
starting a business in our home.
384
00:15:12,275 --> 00:15:14,024
And your Dad
is writing a book.
385
00:15:14,025 --> 00:15:15,107
About an idiot.
386
00:15:15,108 --> 00:15:16,191
Are we doing this now?
387
00:15:16,192 --> 00:15:18,442
You're right.
Let's save it for date night.
388
00:15:22,858 --> 00:15:26,066
We love you more than anything
in this world,
389
00:15:26,067 --> 00:15:29,316
so thinking that you were
backsliding had us worried sick.
390
00:15:29,317 --> 00:15:31,524
And we're sorry we haven't been
giving you enough attention.
391
00:15:31,525 --> 00:15:34,400
But you were faking OCD,
and that's not okay.
392
00:15:35,317 --> 00:15:36,774
I'm sorry.
393
00:15:36,775 --> 00:15:38,649
Well, you don't get attention
like you used to
394
00:15:38,650 --> 00:15:40,399
because you don't need it
as much anymore.
395
00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:42,566
And I know it's hard,
but you changed,
396
00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:44,274
and that's a good thing.
397
00:15:44,275 --> 00:15:45,816
Doesn't feel that way.
398
00:15:45,817 --> 00:15:47,857
I know, baby.
Change is hard.
399
00:15:47,858 --> 00:15:49,482
But don't worry.
400
00:15:49,483 --> 00:15:51,732
When you're a teenager,
you're bound to do
horrible, stupid things
401
00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:53,316
and get all the attention
you want.
402
00:15:53,317 --> 00:15:55,399
She's right, dude.
403
00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:57,191
And sometimes you become
a millionaire because of it.
404
00:15:57,192 --> 00:15:58,399
Parkour!
405
00:16:02,525 --> 00:16:03,816
Idiot.
406
00:16:06,608 --> 00:16:08,982
Your family moved 6 times
before you were 10,
407
00:16:08,983 --> 00:16:10,607
so you were the new kid
a lot, huh?
408
00:16:10,608 --> 00:16:11,399
What was that like?
409
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:13,857
Dude, check this out.
410
00:16:13,858 --> 00:16:16,441
I put fake eyeballs
in Katie's lasagna.
411
00:16:16,442 --> 00:16:18,441
Ulp! She's gonna think
it's hilarious.
412
00:16:18,442 --> 00:16:19,774
Oh, I think
if you do that,
413
00:16:19,775 --> 00:16:21,775
the next eyeball in lasagna
will be yours.
414
00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:26,232
Oh, my God, Trip.
What are you doing here?
415
00:16:26,233 --> 00:16:27,982
We're not supposed to
see each other.
416
00:16:27,983 --> 00:16:29,357
I know the real reason
why you wanted
417
00:16:29,358 --> 00:16:30,774
this fake separation
so much.
418
00:16:30,775 --> 00:16:32,191
You wanted
to be with Lonnie.
419
00:16:32,192 --> 00:16:33,649
What are you
talking about?
420
00:16:33,650 --> 00:16:35,191
You're over here
video-chatting me
421
00:16:35,192 --> 00:16:37,357
while you guys have puppy noses
and high-pitched voices,
422
00:16:37,358 --> 00:16:39,024
and it was adorable.
423
00:16:39,025 --> 00:16:40,482
Now I see how it is
when we're apart--
424
00:16:40,483 --> 00:16:42,357
you drop me for the first
cute guy that comes along.
425
00:16:42,358 --> 00:16:44,232
Oh! Thanks, man.
426
00:16:44,233 --> 00:16:45,732
I think you're cute, too.
427
00:16:45,733 --> 00:16:47,566
Mr. A, it happened
under your roof?
428
00:16:47,567 --> 00:16:48,607
I thought we were bros!
429
00:16:48,608 --> 00:16:50,274
We are forever bros!
430
00:16:50,275 --> 00:16:53,066
There is nothing going on
between me and Lonnie.
431
00:16:53,067 --> 00:16:55,274
I can't believe
you don't trust me.
432
00:16:55,275 --> 00:16:57,024
How are we gonna make things
work when I go to college?
433
00:16:57,025 --> 00:16:58,024
Or can we?
434
00:16:58,025 --> 00:16:59,399
I don't know.
435
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:00,483
Maybe we can't.
436
00:17:01,608 --> 00:17:03,024
Whoa! Whoa, whoa.
437
00:17:03,025 --> 00:17:04,982
Trip, I totally get
why you're freaking out.
438
00:17:04,983 --> 00:17:07,066
And I get
why you're upset, too.
439
00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:09,524
You two can do
the long-distance thing,
440
00:17:09,525 --> 00:17:11,566
but you're gonna have to
trust each other.
441
00:17:11,567 --> 00:17:13,649
Because I know what happens
when you don't.
442
00:17:13,650 --> 00:17:16,399
My dad used to have to go
out of town a lot for business,
443
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:18,982
and my mother
was always worried
444
00:17:18,983 --> 00:17:20,982
that he was fooling around
on her-- which was crazy,
445
00:17:20,983 --> 00:17:24,691
because my dad was, like,
hella skinny, bald,
446
00:17:24,692 --> 00:17:26,399
had mad psoriasis.
447
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:27,941
What's psoriasis?
448
00:17:27,942 --> 00:17:29,941
I think it's those guys in Syria
with the beards.
449
00:17:29,942 --> 00:17:33,482
There was just no way my dad
would ever cheat on my mom.
450
00:17:33,483 --> 00:17:34,525
But she didn't trust him.
451
00:17:35,900 --> 00:17:38,899
And she got so sad
when he was gone.
452
00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:41,107
That's why I started doing
practical-joke videos.
453
00:17:41,108 --> 00:17:42,941
I just wanted
to make her laugh.
454
00:17:42,942 --> 00:17:45,274
I've been trying to get you
to open up to me for weeks,
455
00:17:45,275 --> 00:17:47,482
and the closest you've come
is showing me the X-rays
456
00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:49,399
from when you swallowed a robot
for one of your videos.
457
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,524
It's Optimus Prime, bro.
458
00:17:51,525 --> 00:17:53,899
He's a Transformer.
459
00:17:53,900 --> 00:17:55,442
Whatever! Let's get this down!
Come on!
460
00:17:58,067 --> 00:17:59,567
Yeah, I'll--
I'll be right there.
461
00:18:00,775 --> 00:18:02,399
You guys have to
trust each other,
462
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:03,900
and you'll be fine.
463
00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:11,232
I'm really sorry, babe.
I totally overreacted.
464
00:18:11,233 --> 00:18:12,857
We've got to work
on this trust thing.
465
00:18:12,858 --> 00:18:13,900
I'll start.
466
00:18:15,650 --> 00:18:17,024
Oh, my God!
467
00:18:17,025 --> 00:18:18,232
You didn't catch me.
468
00:18:18,233 --> 00:18:19,524
Are you okay?
469
00:18:19,525 --> 00:18:20,982
What day is it?
470
00:18:20,983 --> 00:18:22,316
Still today, right?
471
00:18:22,317 --> 00:18:23,316
You're good.
472
00:18:33,942 --> 00:18:35,524
Mom?
473
00:18:35,525 --> 00:18:36,733
I've got a big problem.
474
00:18:38,150 --> 00:18:39,899
Get in the car.
I've got cash in the trunk.
475
00:18:39,900 --> 00:18:41,191
I'll take you
wherever you need to go.
476
00:18:41,192 --> 00:18:42,774
No, I'm not playing.
477
00:18:42,775 --> 00:18:44,357
I got a call
at Teen Help Line today.
478
00:18:44,358 --> 00:18:45,941
The guy seemed to be
in real trouble.
479
00:18:45,942 --> 00:18:48,899
Oh, no. Honey.
I'm so sorry.
480
00:18:48,900 --> 00:18:51,066
I tried to help him,
but he hung up.
481
00:18:51,067 --> 00:18:52,857
I told the counselor
right away,
482
00:18:52,858 --> 00:18:54,982
but there was no way
to find the caller.
483
00:18:54,983 --> 00:18:56,775
I just feel so helpless.
484
00:18:58,400 --> 00:18:59,441
What?
485
00:18:59,442 --> 00:19:01,566
Look at you caring.
486
00:19:01,567 --> 00:19:04,107
It's like your soul
is going through puberty.
487
00:19:04,108 --> 00:19:06,024
What do I do?
488
00:19:06,025 --> 00:19:07,566
Just got to wait.
489
00:19:07,567 --> 00:19:08,857
Hopefully, he calls back.
490
00:19:08,858 --> 00:19:11,399
Just sit and wait?
How can I do that?
491
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:12,607
It's so awful
not knowing.
492
00:19:12,608 --> 00:19:14,732
Oh, I get that.
493
00:19:14,733 --> 00:19:17,192
That is what moms do
all the time.
494
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:24,941
Hilarious.
495
00:19:24,942 --> 00:19:25,982
What?
496
00:19:25,983 --> 00:19:27,358
Lonnie put an eyeball
in your lasagna.
497
00:19:30,025 --> 00:19:31,316
Why?
498
00:19:31,317 --> 00:19:32,649
Why is that hilarious?
499
00:19:32,650 --> 00:19:34,357
Ugh!
500
00:19:39,483 --> 00:19:42,024
Hey, Mom, do you want
to play "Monopoly"?
501
00:19:42,025 --> 00:19:44,732
Sweetie, I wish I could,
but I'm busy right now.
502
00:19:44,733 --> 00:19:46,691
Oh. Okay.
503
00:19:46,692 --> 00:19:47,733
I understand.
504
00:19:52,275 --> 00:19:54,774
But you could help me
make lasagna if you want.
505
00:19:54,775 --> 00:19:56,399
That way,
we can work together.
506
00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:57,774
Really?
507
00:19:57,775 --> 00:19:59,524
Mm-hmm.
508
00:19:59,525 --> 00:20:01,232
We get a little
mother/daughter time,
509
00:20:01,233 --> 00:20:03,024
and you get
free child labor.
510
00:20:03,025 --> 00:20:04,607
That's not
how I'm looking at it.
511
00:20:04,608 --> 00:20:05,607
Aren't you?
512
00:20:05,608 --> 00:20:07,191
A little bit.
513
00:20:10,608 --> 00:20:11,982
Aah!
Okay,
sprinkle it real nice.
514
00:20:11,983 --> 00:20:13,399
Okay.
Like-- Like snow?
515
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:14,191
Yes.
Okay.
516
00:20:14,192 --> 00:20:15,191
Aah! It's snowing!
517
00:20:15,192 --> 00:20:15,942
Yeah!
Wah!
518
00:20:20,483 --> 00:20:22,899
Hey, boys.
I made you some lunch.
519
00:20:22,900 --> 00:20:24,357
Thanks, girl.
520
00:20:24,358 --> 00:20:25,357
No, no, no, no.
521
00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:27,650
This piece is yours.
522
00:20:31,692 --> 00:20:32,899
What'd you do to it?
523
00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:34,232
Nothing.
524
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:36,149
Come on.
You're pranking me back.
525
00:20:36,150 --> 00:20:38,024
What'd you put in it?
526
00:20:38,025 --> 00:20:40,482
Mousetrap? Ex-Lax?
Thumbtack?
527
00:20:40,483 --> 00:20:41,857
I've done 'em all.
It's my job, yo.
528
00:20:41,858 --> 00:20:43,649
If you think I have the time
to make a prank lasagna,
529
00:20:43,650 --> 00:20:45,107
you're out of your mind.
530
00:20:45,108 --> 00:20:45,900
Take a bite.
531
00:20:47,108 --> 00:20:48,150
Sure.
532
00:20:53,858 --> 00:20:54,942
{\an8}Even better.
533
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:58,066
{\an8}You knew
I was gonna do that.
534
00:20:58,067 --> 00:20:59,232
{\an8}Mm.
535
00:20:59,233 --> 00:21:01,108
{\an8}Dude, I'm throwing this
in the garbage.
536
00:21:03,233 --> 00:21:04,941
{\an8}So, what'd you put in it?
What's the prank?
537
00:21:04,942 --> 00:21:07,232
{\an8}There is none.
But now I'm in his head.
538
00:21:07,233 --> 00:21:08,732
{\an8}I never have to
feed that dope again.
539
00:21:08,733 --> 00:21:10,149
{\an8}That's how
Katie Otto rolls.
540
00:21:10,150 --> 00:21:11,149
{\an8}Yeet!
541
00:21:11,150 --> 00:21:13,357
{\an8}Oh, Greg, sweetie, no.
Just no.
542
00:21:13,358 --> 00:21:15,357
{\an8}Yee--
Don't do it.
543
00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:16,482
Yeet!
Stop!
39674
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