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1
00:00:00,833 --> 00:00:04,582
Whoa.
A banana hanger.
2
00:00:04,583 --> 00:00:05,916
Did we win
the lottery?
3
00:00:05,917 --> 00:00:07,749
Now that we've been
a two-income family for a while,
4
00:00:07,750 --> 00:00:10,332
we can finally replace
the stuff that's falling apart
5
00:00:10,333 --> 00:00:11,999
and enjoy
a few luxuries.
6
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:14,041
Oh, yeah. Those 'nanas
gonna be heck-a-ripe.
7
00:00:14,042 --> 00:00:15,041
Mm-hmm.
8
00:00:15,042 --> 00:00:16,166
It is nice not worrying
9
00:00:16,167 --> 00:00:17,707
about every dollar
we spend, for once.
10
00:00:17,708 --> 00:00:19,916
Whoa.
11
00:00:19,917 --> 00:00:21,707
New can opener.
That's right!
12
00:00:21,708 --> 00:00:24,499
Goodbye, old can opener
that only opens cans halfway
13
00:00:24,500 --> 00:00:26,582
so you have to pry the lid open
with a knife.
14
00:00:26,583 --> 00:00:28,707
Goodbye, knife we ruined
opening cans.
15
00:00:28,708 --> 00:00:29,874
And look,
we finally have art
16
00:00:29,875 --> 00:00:31,749
that wasn't made
by the kids.
17
00:00:31,750 --> 00:00:33,166
Say hello
to the painting
18
00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:35,291
that says "family"
in five languages.
19
00:00:35,292 --> 00:00:36,666
I love it.
Let's hang it.
20
00:00:36,667 --> 00:00:38,124
You'll have to do it
without me.
21
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:39,374
I have to go into work
to talk to Whitney.
22
00:00:39,375 --> 00:00:41,166
It's Sunday.
23
00:00:41,167 --> 00:00:42,874
And why do you have to go
in the office to meet with her?
24
00:00:42,875 --> 00:00:44,166
Isn't she always
on speakerphone?
25
00:00:44,167 --> 00:00:47,124
Yeah. It's dumb.
This whole job is dumb.
26
00:00:47,125 --> 00:00:48,332
You used to like
party planning.
27
00:00:48,333 --> 00:00:49,332
For a second.
28
00:00:49,333 --> 00:00:50,791
It was a fun way
to make money,
29
00:00:50,792 --> 00:00:51,916
and I liked
people that I hate
30
00:00:51,917 --> 00:00:53,957
telling me
what a good job I did.
31
00:00:53,958 --> 00:00:56,207
But now
it's crushing my soul.
32
00:00:56,208 --> 00:00:57,541
Guess that's
the price you pay
33
00:00:57,542 --> 00:00:58,957
if you want
to hang your bananas.
34
00:00:58,958 --> 00:01:00,583
Gross. Leave that talk
in the bedroom.
35
00:01:02,292 --> 00:01:04,332
Thanks for working so hard.
It means a lot to your family.
36
00:01:04,333 --> 00:01:08,124
And your familia,
famille,
37
00:01:08,125 --> 00:01:10,750
famiglia,
and your mischpokhe.
38
00:01:14,333 --> 00:01:15,374
What is that?
39
00:01:15,375 --> 00:01:17,416
Nothing.
40
00:01:17,417 --> 00:01:18,957
Are you wearing
a bracelet?
41
00:01:18,958 --> 00:01:20,416
You're gonna be late
for work.
42
00:01:20,417 --> 00:01:23,582
Are you auditioning to be
the cute one in a boy band?
43
00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:24,957
I don't want
to talk about it!
44
00:01:24,958 --> 00:01:27,499
Katie, just let the guy
wear a bracelet.
45
00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:28,541
You're not going to, are you?
46
00:01:28,542 --> 00:01:29,542
No.
47
00:01:36,833 --> 00:01:39,541
Hey, Oliver, you want to play
the Game of Life?
48
00:01:39,542 --> 00:01:41,291
No.
You guys play.
49
00:01:41,292 --> 00:01:43,125
I already lost
the real version.
50
00:01:44,375 --> 00:01:46,249
What's wrong?
51
00:01:46,250 --> 00:01:48,207
My dream of getting into Harvard
is officially dead.
52
00:01:48,208 --> 00:01:50,416
{\an8}I can't dance,
so I plan on padding my résumé
53
00:01:50,417 --> 00:01:52,041
{\an8}with some BS volunteer work.
54
00:01:52,042 --> 00:01:53,374
That sounds like
a good idea.
55
00:01:53,375 --> 00:01:54,999
{\an8}But look at me.
56
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:57,041
{\an8}I can't plant trees,
57
00:01:57,042 --> 00:01:59,791
{\an8}deliver meals,
build habitats.
58
00:01:59,792 --> 00:02:01,082
All I can do
is sit.
59
00:02:01,083 --> 00:02:02,499
My life is over.
60
00:02:02,500 --> 00:02:04,166
{\an8}You have lots
going for you.
61
00:02:04,167 --> 00:02:05,957
{\an8}You're ambitious,
your grades are great.
62
00:02:05,958 --> 00:02:07,457
Plus,
you're a sophomore.
63
00:02:07,458 --> 00:02:09,374
You have time
to build up your résumé.
64
00:02:09,375 --> 00:02:11,499
{\an8}You want to feel better,
look at Taylor.
65
00:02:11,500 --> 00:02:12,582
Yeah, yeah!
66
00:02:12,583 --> 00:02:14,249
She's the one
that should be depressed.
67
00:02:14,250 --> 00:02:16,124
{\an8}She's graduating
this year,
68
00:02:16,125 --> 00:02:18,249
{\an8}and the girl's got
nothing going on.
69
00:02:18,250 --> 00:02:21,249
{\an8}And even if she does
somehow go to college,
70
00:02:21,250 --> 00:02:23,541
{\an8}Mom and Dad gave her
a long list of life skills,
71
00:02:23,542 --> 00:02:25,666
{\an8}and she can't even
fill the car with gas.
72
00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:27,416
That's not true.
I filled it.
73
00:02:32,833 --> 00:02:34,457
I hate that list!
74
00:02:34,458 --> 00:02:35,707
{\an8}I'm never gonna survive
outside this house
75
00:02:35,708 --> 00:02:37,750
{\an8}if I can't do anything!
76
00:02:39,542 --> 00:02:40,874
{\an8}This is what happens
77
00:02:40,875 --> 00:02:43,250
{\an8}when everyone gets
participation trophies.
78
00:02:44,708 --> 00:02:46,457
Katie.
Hi, Kevin.
79
00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:47,916
What kind of
stupid ice sculpture
80
00:02:47,917 --> 00:02:49,499
do I have to order
for this dumb party?
81
00:02:49,500 --> 00:02:50,999
Whitney cannot see you
like this.
82
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:52,541
You are too underdressed
for the office.
83
00:02:52,542 --> 00:02:54,707
I know she has the place
wired with cameras,
84
00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:57,082
but I've got it covered.
85
00:02:57,083 --> 00:03:00,249
When she calls in,
I'll be sitting at my desk,
86
00:03:00,250 --> 00:03:01,999
wearing this blazer.
87
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,332
{\an8}But Whitney will know
because--
88
00:03:04,333 --> 00:03:05,457
{\an8}Hello, Katie.
89
00:03:05,458 --> 00:03:07,582
Hi, Whitney!
90
00:03:07,583 --> 00:03:09,708
{\an8}Why are you talking into
a speakerphone?
91
00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:14,499
You know, I'm not sure
how much time you allocate
92
00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:15,916
for getting ready
in the morning,
93
00:03:15,917 --> 00:03:17,416
but you might want
to double it.
94
00:03:17,417 --> 00:03:20,374
{\an8}In my defense, I have worked
here for more than a year,
95
00:03:20,375 --> 00:03:22,916
{\an8}and this is the first time
that I have laid eyes on you.
96
00:03:22,917 --> 00:03:24,707
{\an8}I suppose
that would explain
97
00:03:24,708 --> 00:03:27,874
{\an8}Kevin's lack of
professional attire, as well.
98
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,707
{\an8}You bought this
for me.
99
00:03:29,708 --> 00:03:31,499
{\an8}As a razz,
Kevin.
100
00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:34,124
Now, I'm in town
for only one week,
101
00:03:34,125 --> 00:03:37,957
and I'm trusting you
to throw a very special party
102
00:03:37,958 --> 00:03:40,249
for my
most important client.
103
00:03:40,250 --> 00:03:41,332
Martha Stewart?
104
00:03:41,333 --> 00:03:44,332
Better.
My favorite nephew, Joshua.
105
00:03:44,333 --> 00:03:45,541
Okay.
106
00:03:45,542 --> 00:03:47,624
Well, what kind of ice sculpture
would he like?
107
00:03:47,625 --> 00:03:49,874
{\an8}No, no. Eh, the party's not
for Joshua.
108
00:03:49,875 --> 00:03:52,374
{\an8}He wants
to throw a party for Lizzie.
109
00:03:52,375 --> 00:03:53,707
And Lizzie is?
110
00:03:53,708 --> 00:03:55,082
His iguana.
111
00:03:55,083 --> 00:03:57,124
I'm throwing a party
for a reptile?
112
00:03:57,125 --> 00:03:58,499
Of course!
113
00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:00,207
{\an8}I once threw a party
114
00:04:00,208 --> 00:04:03,291
{\an8}for Bitsy Wellington's
favorite purse.
115
00:04:03,292 --> 00:04:04,917
{\an8}Steely Dan played.
It was magical.
116
00:04:05,792 --> 00:04:07,874
Oh, Katie.
117
00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:11,917
{\an8}I have so much
to teach you.
118
00:04:15,875 --> 00:04:17,249
Is this
going to end soon?
119
00:04:17,250 --> 00:04:19,833
This is more eye contact
than I keep with my husband.
120
00:04:20,917 --> 00:04:22,791
{\an8}I'm counting on you,
Katie.
121
00:04:22,792 --> 00:04:24,332
Come on, you.
122
00:04:24,333 --> 00:04:25,999
As long as you're wearing
your ditch-digging clothes,
123
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,041
come to my house.
124
00:04:27,042 --> 00:04:29,207
I have to move
my animal cemetery.
125
00:04:29,208 --> 00:04:31,417
I'm putting in
a pool.
126
00:04:34,417 --> 00:04:37,249
Am I actually throwing a party
for a Westport lizard?
127
00:04:37,250 --> 00:04:38,499
Uh-huh.
128
00:04:38,500 --> 00:04:40,167
Kevin! Now!
129
00:04:41,708 --> 00:04:44,249
Thank you, Kevin.
For what?
130
00:04:44,250 --> 00:04:47,999
For showing me
that as bad as my life is,
131
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,249
yours is worse.
132
00:04:58,125 --> 00:05:00,332
And the craziest part is,
133
00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:02,332
it's not even
the iguana's birthday.
134
00:05:02,333 --> 00:05:04,916
It's a party,
"just because"!
135
00:05:04,917 --> 00:05:06,582
You should quit.
136
00:05:06,583 --> 00:05:08,666
I thought about it.
A lot.
137
00:05:08,667 --> 00:05:10,707
I have a whole quitting fantasy
worked out in my head.
138
00:05:10,708 --> 00:05:12,707
All I need
is a boom box--
139
00:05:12,708 --> 00:05:14,499
A baseball bat--
And an industrial fan.
140
00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:16,832
Yeah, we've heard this before.
Why don't you just do it?
141
00:05:16,833 --> 00:05:18,624
Well, Greg's happy
142
00:05:18,625 --> 00:05:20,082
because now, with my salary,
143
00:05:20,083 --> 00:05:21,874
we're finally able
to put some money aside.
144
00:05:21,875 --> 00:05:23,082
Money aside?
145
00:05:23,083 --> 00:05:24,791
Is that something
the poors do?
146
00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:26,457
Like family game nights
and voting?
147
00:05:26,458 --> 00:05:29,582
And Greg is going through
something right now.
148
00:05:29,583 --> 00:05:30,791
What do you mean?
149
00:05:30,792 --> 00:05:32,249
He's started wearing
a leather bracelet.
150
00:05:32,250 --> 00:05:33,999
How fun.
Oh! Cool.
151
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,166
That is fun.
152
00:05:35,167 --> 00:05:37,332
I see you nudging each other
under the table.
153
00:05:37,333 --> 00:05:38,707
Uh--
154
00:05:38,708 --> 00:05:40,207
No wife should have to
go through this.
155
00:05:40,208 --> 00:05:41,416
This is
very upsetting,
156
00:05:41,417 --> 00:05:43,124
but maybe he's just
trying something new.
157
00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:45,499
Yeah, like when
you started saying "Peace out."
158
00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:48,082
You tried it, we ignored it,
and then it went away.
159
00:05:48,083 --> 00:05:49,166
And you should do
the same thing with Greg.
160
00:05:49,167 --> 00:05:50,624
She's right.
You only need to worry
161
00:05:50,625 --> 00:05:51,624
if it starts
to escalate,
162
00:05:51,625 --> 00:05:52,499
then you shut it down.
163
00:05:53,625 --> 00:05:54,624
Ugh. Gotta go.
164
00:05:54,625 --> 00:05:56,166
Lizzie's tail fell off,
165
00:05:56,167 --> 00:05:57,832
so we're meeting about ways
to hide it for pictures.
166
00:05:57,833 --> 00:05:59,041
Catch you
on the flip-side.
167
00:05:59,042 --> 00:06:00,374
Stop it.
No.
168
00:06:03,583 --> 00:06:05,457
What are we
gonna do today?
169
00:06:05,458 --> 00:06:07,541
We're gonna help cheer up
Taylor and Oliver.
170
00:06:07,542 --> 00:06:09,082
They're two white kids
in America.
171
00:06:09,083 --> 00:06:10,374
What do they have
to be sad about?
172
00:06:10,375 --> 00:06:11,791
Stand down,
Franklin.
173
00:06:11,792 --> 00:06:13,124
This isn't
your podcast.
174
00:06:14,042 --> 00:06:15,207
We need
to help them.
175
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:17,166
What do you think
would cheer them up?
176
00:06:17,167 --> 00:06:18,957
What about we--
Can't be
the movie "Soapdish."
177
00:06:18,958 --> 00:06:22,083
Sally Field is
an American treasure.
178
00:06:24,875 --> 00:06:26,332
There are other ways,
Franklin!
179
00:06:30,958 --> 00:06:32,000
Hey, Taylor.
180
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:34,707
Franklin does
great impressions.
181
00:06:34,708 --> 00:06:36,000
You want
to see one?
182
00:06:42,583 --> 00:06:44,749
Did you eat?
183
00:06:44,750 --> 00:06:46,541
Did you eat?
Did you eat?
184
00:06:48,792 --> 00:06:50,374
Who is that
supposed to be?
185
00:06:50,375 --> 00:06:52,291
My Aunt Linda.
That is spot-on.
186
00:06:52,292 --> 00:06:53,957
It's like
she's in the room.
187
00:06:53,958 --> 00:06:55,291
Do your
Uncle Al next.
188
00:06:55,292 --> 00:06:56,541
Linda!
189
00:06:56,542 --> 00:06:58,791
The help
is stealing from us!
190
00:07:13,042 --> 00:07:15,166
My name is Inigo Montoya.
191
00:07:15,167 --> 00:07:17,166
You killed my father.
Prepare to die.
192
00:07:17,167 --> 00:07:18,749
Inconceivable.
193
00:07:18,750 --> 00:07:20,291
You keep using
that word.
194
00:07:20,292 --> 00:07:22,792
I do not think it means
what you think it means.
195
00:07:24,917 --> 00:07:26,082
Bleh! Bleh!
196
00:07:28,792 --> 00:07:30,458
Bleh! Bleh!
197
00:07:33,917 --> 00:07:35,541
Nothing worked.
198
00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:37,249
What do we do now?
199
00:07:37,250 --> 00:07:38,916
When my mom
had a bad case of the sadsies,
200
00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:40,166
the only thing
that helped her
201
00:07:40,167 --> 00:07:41,707
was talking to the counselor
at her church.
202
00:07:41,708 --> 00:07:43,624
Of course.
Good idea, Franklin.
203
00:07:43,625 --> 00:07:45,166
Time to
get God involved.
204
00:07:45,167 --> 00:07:47,666
Religion can be very helpful
when used as a tool,
205
00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:48,916
but when
it's a crutch--
206
00:07:48,917 --> 00:07:50,832
Not your podcast,
Franklin.
207
00:07:52,958 --> 00:07:54,541
This is
the most ridiculous party
208
00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:55,666
I've ever had to throw.
209
00:07:55,667 --> 00:07:58,082
I don't know how much longer
I can do this.
210
00:07:58,083 --> 00:07:59,749
You are the strongest person
I know,
211
00:07:59,750 --> 00:08:01,874
and not just because
you always open jars for me.
212
00:08:01,875 --> 00:08:02,957
Emotionally.
213
00:08:02,958 --> 00:08:05,874
You put up with a lot,
but remember,
214
00:08:05,875 --> 00:08:07,624
you're really good
at what you do,
215
00:08:07,625 --> 00:08:08,708
and everyone in town
knows it.
216
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,666
Thank you.
217
00:08:11,667 --> 00:08:13,833
I appreciate tha--
218
00:08:15,583 --> 00:08:18,291
Are you wearing
bacon socks?
219
00:08:18,292 --> 00:08:20,374
No.
220
00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:21,707
Okay.
221
00:08:21,708 --> 00:08:23,207
I let
the bracelet go.
222
00:08:23,208 --> 00:08:24,791
I didn't say a word...
223
00:08:24,792 --> 00:08:25,916
to your face.
224
00:08:25,917 --> 00:08:27,374
But now
it's escalating,
225
00:08:27,375 --> 00:08:29,082
and I know
you don't want to talk about it,
226
00:08:29,083 --> 00:08:30,124
but you and I both know
227
00:08:30,125 --> 00:08:32,832
that there is bacon
on your socks.
228
00:08:32,833 --> 00:08:34,374
What the hell
is going on?
229
00:08:34,375 --> 00:08:36,624
I don't know.
230
00:08:36,625 --> 00:08:38,749
It kind of started after
Professor Casey passed away.
231
00:08:38,750 --> 00:08:40,624
He got tenure
the same week that I was hired.
232
00:08:40,625 --> 00:08:41,916
For the last 10 years,
233
00:08:41,917 --> 00:08:43,666
I've watched him do
the exact same thing
234
00:08:43,667 --> 00:08:45,666
until he died
at his desk,
235
00:08:45,667 --> 00:08:47,957
and now I have tenure.
236
00:08:47,958 --> 00:08:50,749
And I don't know,
it got me thinking...
237
00:08:50,750 --> 00:08:51,874
maybe I need
to mix things up.
238
00:08:51,875 --> 00:08:53,291
Figure out
who I really am.
239
00:08:53,292 --> 00:08:55,666
Am I bracelet guy?
Funny-sock guy?
240
00:08:55,667 --> 00:08:57,957
Carry-around-a-coin-
that-I-flip guy?
241
00:08:57,958 --> 00:08:58,750
Honey.
242
00:09:00,917 --> 00:09:03,583
I support
any guy you want to be.
243
00:09:04,625 --> 00:09:06,624
Thanks, sweetie.
244
00:09:06,625 --> 00:09:08,666
But if you start wearing
those glasses
245
00:09:08,667 --> 00:09:10,832
that are transitional
from light to dark,
246
00:09:10,833 --> 00:09:12,124
it's gonna be
a problem.
247
00:09:12,125 --> 00:09:13,707
Okay.
Yeah.
248
00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:28,249
Great party,
Katie.
249
00:09:28,250 --> 00:09:29,457
I sampled
the stir fry.
250
00:09:29,458 --> 00:09:30,749
It's delicious.
251
00:09:30,750 --> 00:09:33,082
Yeah.
Those are crickets.
252
00:09:33,083 --> 00:09:35,666
That explains
why the server was laughing.
Mm-hmm.
253
00:09:35,667 --> 00:09:37,291
Katie, right?
Mm-hmm.
254
00:09:37,292 --> 00:09:38,916
My Joshua
just told me
255
00:09:38,917 --> 00:09:41,791
this is the best party
Lizzie has ever had.
256
00:09:41,792 --> 00:09:43,666
Thank you.
I am so glad.
257
00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:46,249
Whitney said she worked hard
on every little detail.
258
00:09:46,250 --> 00:09:48,082
You are so lucky
to have a boss like her
259
00:09:48,083 --> 00:09:49,707
who does
all the heavy lifting.
260
00:09:49,708 --> 00:09:51,332
"Heavy lifting"?
261
00:09:51,333 --> 00:09:53,041
But she's not
even here.
262
00:09:53,042 --> 00:09:54,332
That's because
she's such a star.
263
00:09:54,333 --> 00:09:57,249
She knew she would distract
from Lizzie on her big day.
264
00:09:57,250 --> 00:09:59,332
Hey, Gayle.
Oh, my God. Hi.
265
00:09:59,333 --> 00:10:01,749
I guess a snake
would distract from a lizard.
266
00:10:01,750 --> 00:10:03,082
Can you believe her?
267
00:10:03,083 --> 00:10:05,582
Whitney has me plan
this absurd party--
268
00:10:05,583 --> 00:10:07,499
which I nailed,
by the way--
269
00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:09,499
and then steals
my thank-you.
270
00:10:09,500 --> 00:10:11,541
I can't wait
'til she goes back to New York.
271
00:10:11,542 --> 00:10:13,291
She's not going back.
272
00:10:13,292 --> 00:10:15,499
She's staying
in Westport.
What?
273
00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:17,832
Yeah, I heard her on
the phone while I was
giving her a spray tan.
274
00:10:17,833 --> 00:10:20,291
I can't do this anymore.
275
00:10:20,292 --> 00:10:21,457
The money's great,
276
00:10:21,458 --> 00:10:23,249
but you can't put a price
on my dignity.
277
00:10:23,250 --> 00:10:24,666
Mm.
278
00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:26,917
The satay is delicious.
279
00:10:28,750 --> 00:10:30,249
Not for humans, right?
280
00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:31,458
Right.
281
00:10:38,125 --> 00:10:41,082
Whitney,
I worked my ass off
282
00:10:41,083 --> 00:10:42,499
putting that party together.
283
00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:43,874
It's bad enough
that I'm--
284
00:10:43,875 --> 00:10:45,625
Not getting the recognition
you deserve.
285
00:10:47,042 --> 00:10:48,291
That's why I'm giving you
a promotion,
286
00:10:48,292 --> 00:10:50,291
which comes with
a very nice raise.
287
00:10:51,375 --> 00:10:53,707
If you think a raise
and a promotion
288
00:10:53,708 --> 00:10:56,166
are enough
to keep me around...
289
00:10:56,167 --> 00:10:57,791
you're right.
290
00:10:57,792 --> 00:11:00,582
Turns out
my dignity does have a price.
291
00:11:00,583 --> 00:11:02,207
Now,
if you'll excuse me,
292
00:11:02,208 --> 00:11:04,499
I have someone coming
to give me a foot massage.
293
00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:06,874
Oh, the masseuse cancelled.
I thought I told you.
294
00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:08,541
You did.
295
00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:10,166
Now go get
the lotion, Kevin.
296
00:11:21,333 --> 00:11:23,124
So, Whitney just took
all the credit for the party?
297
00:11:23,125 --> 00:11:24,541
Yes.
298
00:11:24,542 --> 00:11:26,749
I should have grabbed
a boom box,
299
00:11:26,750 --> 00:11:30,291
a baseball bat,
and an industrial fan and quit.
300
00:11:30,292 --> 00:11:32,416
Now I'm just like you.
301
00:11:32,417 --> 00:11:33,874
How so?
302
00:11:33,875 --> 00:11:36,249
You accepted tenure,
now you're stuck at your job.
303
00:11:36,250 --> 00:11:38,708
I took the promotion,
and now I'm stuck at mine.
304
00:11:40,042 --> 00:11:41,332
So what
if I hate my job?
305
00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:42,749
Everyone does.
306
00:11:42,750 --> 00:11:45,416
I got to get to bed.
307
00:11:45,417 --> 00:11:47,499
I have to oversee
all the events this week,
308
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:50,041
starting with tomorrow's
"Barbecue and Botox" party.
309
00:11:50,042 --> 00:11:51,083
Ooh.
310
00:11:57,417 --> 00:11:58,416
I can't.
311
00:12:02,792 --> 00:12:06,124
You must be
Taylor and Oliver.
312
00:12:06,125 --> 00:12:08,957
Franklin tells me you've been
going through something.
313
00:12:08,958 --> 00:12:11,207
Yeah, it's--
it's easy to feel lost
314
00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:12,499
in this big world,
315
00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:14,874
but it's important
to remember--
316
00:12:14,875 --> 00:12:16,332
you're not alone.
317
00:12:16,333 --> 00:12:18,041
Who are you?
318
00:12:18,042 --> 00:12:19,291
This is Eve.
319
00:12:19,292 --> 00:12:21,124
She's an elder
at the church my mom goes to.
320
00:12:21,125 --> 00:12:22,457
She helped my mom
a lot.
321
00:12:22,458 --> 00:12:23,791
She blinks now.
322
00:12:23,792 --> 00:12:24,916
I think we're good.
323
00:12:24,917 --> 00:12:26,666
I remember being
a pretty young girl,
324
00:12:26,667 --> 00:12:28,624
my whole life
ahead of me.
325
00:12:28,625 --> 00:12:30,499
But I always
felt unprepared
326
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,707
and ill-equipped
for life on my own.
327
00:12:32,708 --> 00:12:34,707
You did?
Oh, yes.
328
00:12:34,708 --> 00:12:37,416
I was overwhelmed
and lost.
329
00:12:37,417 --> 00:12:39,707
Me, too.
So, what changed?
330
00:12:39,708 --> 00:12:41,832
I joined the church,
met Bob.
331
00:12:41,833 --> 00:12:43,124
Who's Bob?
332
00:12:43,125 --> 00:12:44,999
Bob owns the compound
we all live on.
333
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,874
He's our leader
and our husband.
334
00:12:46,875 --> 00:12:48,999
Our husband?
Yes.
335
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,082
Bob must take many wives
so he has enough people
336
00:12:51,083 --> 00:12:52,749
to take care of him
at the end of days.
337
00:12:52,750 --> 00:12:55,291
Then he'll reunite us
with the great leader
338
00:12:55,292 --> 00:12:57,957
and deliver us
to our home planet.
339
00:12:59,417 --> 00:13:01,666
Your mom
doesn't go to a church.
340
00:13:01,667 --> 00:13:02,833
She's in a cult.
341
00:13:04,042 --> 00:13:06,374
Ohhh.
342
00:13:06,375 --> 00:13:09,124
That's why Grandpa
keeps trying to kidnap us.
343
00:13:09,125 --> 00:13:10,874
Anna-Kat will
walk you out.
344
00:13:10,875 --> 00:13:12,874
Bob be with you.
And also with you.
345
00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:15,292
Oh.
346
00:13:16,958 --> 00:13:19,374
Oh, my God.
That was so inspiring.
347
00:13:19,375 --> 00:13:20,666
I feel like you're getting
the wrong message.
348
00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:22,166
No.
349
00:13:22,167 --> 00:13:23,874
You know how my life
is screwed up compared to yours?
350
00:13:23,875 --> 00:13:25,499
Well, compared to
a grown woman
351
00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:27,124
with pigtails
who's in a cult,
352
00:13:27,125 --> 00:13:28,166
I'm killing it.
353
00:13:28,167 --> 00:13:29,166
Ha.
354
00:13:36,833 --> 00:13:38,666
Thank you so much.
355
00:13:38,667 --> 00:13:40,749
The genius...
356
00:13:40,750 --> 00:13:43,457
is in the minutiae...
357
00:13:43,458 --> 00:13:45,916
...or whatever
that phrase is.
358
00:13:47,458 --> 00:13:48,749
Katie,
359
00:13:48,750 --> 00:13:51,499
everything
is fantastic.
360
00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:53,832
Well, I'd take a bow,
but you've already done that.
361
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,124
Yes.
362
00:13:55,125 --> 00:13:57,999
There's just one thing
that's bothering me.
363
00:13:58,000 --> 00:13:59,499
Ugh.
The bluegrass band?
364
00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:00,916
I know.
It's a lot of harmonica.
365
00:14:00,917 --> 00:14:02,332
No, no.
They're great.
366
00:14:02,333 --> 00:14:05,291
Everything's great.
It's...
367
00:14:05,292 --> 00:14:07,207
It's just...
368
00:14:07,208 --> 00:14:08,832
this.
369
00:14:08,833 --> 00:14:09,916
Me?
370
00:14:09,917 --> 00:14:10,916
Eh--
371
00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:13,207
Katie,
as VP of Events,
372
00:14:13,208 --> 00:14:15,499
you are front and center
of this company.
373
00:14:15,500 --> 00:14:17,791
You need to...
look the part.
374
00:14:17,792 --> 00:14:19,124
I...
375
00:14:19,125 --> 00:14:21,541
If there's just
something we could do
376
00:14:21,542 --> 00:14:23,916
about the frowny parts
of your face.
377
00:14:23,917 --> 00:14:25,916
Kevin!
378
00:14:25,917 --> 00:14:27,666
Get in here.
I need another pair of hands.
379
00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:29,999
I'm sorry.
380
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,082
I can't lose
this job.
381
00:14:31,083 --> 00:14:33,541
I owe $67,000
in student loans.
382
00:14:33,542 --> 00:14:35,082
Philosophy major.
383
00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:38,332
You can't Botox away
being an idiot, Kevin.
384
00:14:38,333 --> 00:14:40,416
Oh, God.
385
00:14:44,083 --> 00:14:47,457
Oliver, I'm sorry I haven't
been able to help you.
386
00:14:47,458 --> 00:14:48,541
I appreciate it,
387
00:14:48,542 --> 00:14:50,542
but there's nothing
anyone can do.
388
00:14:52,708 --> 00:14:55,416
Well,
I talked to Dr. Ellie--
389
00:14:55,417 --> 00:14:58,457
who I now call Eleanor since
I'm not in her class anymore.
390
00:14:58,458 --> 00:15:00,624
She doesn't
care for it--
391
00:15:00,625 --> 00:15:02,583
and she gave me some resources
that might help.
392
00:15:04,250 --> 00:15:06,791
"Are You
Being Bullied?"
393
00:15:06,792 --> 00:15:07,750
Nope.
394
00:15:10,792 --> 00:15:12,207
"How to Come Out
to Your Family"?
395
00:15:12,208 --> 00:15:13,124
Mm?
396
00:15:13,125 --> 00:15:14,582
No.
397
00:15:14,583 --> 00:15:16,291
"My Changing Body"?
398
00:15:16,292 --> 00:15:18,000
Too late.
399
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,499
"Teen Help Line"?
Really?
400
00:15:23,500 --> 00:15:25,249
Dr. Ellie says
it's a hotline
401
00:15:25,250 --> 00:15:27,707
where teens can talk to other
teens about their problems.
402
00:15:27,708 --> 00:15:29,541
Not interested.
403
00:15:29,542 --> 00:15:31,124
Well, I certainly won't be
the last girl
404
00:15:31,125 --> 00:15:33,124
who thinks
she can fix you.
405
00:15:33,125 --> 00:15:35,124
I don't know the others,
but I pity them already.
406
00:15:44,083 --> 00:15:45,582
Ah, Katie.
407
00:15:45,583 --> 00:15:47,707
Tomorrow's party
is a boat christening,
408
00:15:47,708 --> 00:15:49,749
and I need
some noisy sea lions
409
00:15:49,750 --> 00:15:51,666
removed from
the marina--
410
00:15:51,667 --> 00:15:52,749
humanely.
411
00:15:52,750 --> 00:15:55,207
I'm kidding.
Do it any way you can.
412
00:15:55,208 --> 00:15:56,708
I'm on it,
Whitney.
413
00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:04,749
What are you
smiling about?
414
00:16:06,208 --> 00:16:08,582
This is why
you need Botox. See?
415
00:16:08,583 --> 00:16:11,750
Your face should not have
this much expression.
416
00:16:13,125 --> 00:16:14,749
What are you doing here?
417
00:16:14,750 --> 00:16:16,124
I wanted
to thank you.
418
00:16:16,125 --> 00:16:17,249
What you said last night
helped me realize
419
00:16:17,250 --> 00:16:19,457
something very important.
What did I say?
420
00:16:19,458 --> 00:16:21,499
You said that hating your job
was no big deal
421
00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:23,291
because everyone hates
their job, but you know what?
422
00:16:23,292 --> 00:16:25,666
I don't.
I actually love teaching.
423
00:16:25,667 --> 00:16:28,082
I am so happy
for you.
424
00:16:28,083 --> 00:16:30,082
Does this mean
you'll stop wearing the--
Not now.
425
00:16:30,083 --> 00:16:32,499
You supported me when I said
I wanted to mix things up,
426
00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:34,082
so guess what I did?
427
00:16:34,083 --> 00:16:35,874
I taught my class
outside today,
428
00:16:35,875 --> 00:16:37,041
and my students
loved it.
429
00:16:37,042 --> 00:16:38,916
That sounds so fun.
430
00:16:38,917 --> 00:16:41,332
I finally realized
the guy I am.
431
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:44,124
I'm the guy who loves his job
and loves his family
432
00:16:44,125 --> 00:16:47,917
and wants his wife
to be as happy as he is.
433
00:16:50,792 --> 00:16:52,291
What about
the extra money?
434
00:16:52,292 --> 00:16:53,083
We'll make it work.
435
00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:57,124
Katie.
436
00:16:57,125 --> 00:16:59,457
I need you
at the marina right now.
437
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:05,541
Sorry, Whitney.
438
00:17:05,542 --> 00:17:07,124
Move your own
damn sea lions!
439
00:17:09,375 --> 00:17:10,374
Hit it, Greg!
440
00:17:10,375 --> 00:17:11,749
♪ Ow ♪
441
00:17:13,458 --> 00:17:17,124
♪ Yeah ♪
442
00:17:17,125 --> 00:17:20,999
♪ I'm your
ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb ♪
443
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:24,124
♪ Hello, world,
I'm your wild girl ♪
444
00:17:24,125 --> 00:17:27,416
♪ I'm your
ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb ♪
445
00:17:27,417 --> 00:17:34,541
♪ Cherry bomb ♪
446
00:17:34,542 --> 00:17:36,666
I quit!
447
00:17:38,875 --> 00:17:40,249
It's just
how I imagined it.
448
00:17:43,125 --> 00:17:44,666
With Katie gone,
449
00:17:44,667 --> 00:17:45,916
maybe it's time
for you to step up.
450
00:17:45,917 --> 00:17:47,541
You mean
I can have her job?
451
00:17:47,542 --> 00:17:50,207
No, I mean
fix the ice sculpture.
452
00:17:50,208 --> 00:17:52,124
But--
Fix it, Kevin.
453
00:17:52,125 --> 00:17:54,291
Move it.
454
00:18:02,167 --> 00:18:05,666
Hey, you look like you're
in a good mood for a change.
455
00:18:05,667 --> 00:18:07,082
Did one of your IPOs
make a split
456
00:18:07,083 --> 00:18:08,541
into dividends
and then--
457
00:18:08,542 --> 00:18:09,749
Eh, forget it.
458
00:18:09,750 --> 00:18:11,249
I don't know
how money works.
459
00:18:11,250 --> 00:18:13,416
No, I just got off the phone
with Teen Help Line.
460
00:18:13,417 --> 00:18:14,749
You called?
461
00:18:14,750 --> 00:18:15,582
Did they help you
with your problem?
462
00:18:15,583 --> 00:18:16,707
They sure did.
463
00:18:16,708 --> 00:18:18,499
I'm proud of you.
464
00:18:18,500 --> 00:18:21,042
It's hard to be vulnerable,
reach out for help.
465
00:18:22,542 --> 00:18:25,249
And, of course, it's none of
the stuff I was just saying.
466
00:18:25,250 --> 00:18:26,874
What is going on,
Oliver?
467
00:18:26,875 --> 00:18:28,791
I just had
a very interesting conversation
468
00:18:28,792 --> 00:18:30,416
with one of
the counselors.
469
00:18:30,417 --> 00:18:32,499
He said a lot of the people
who volunteer there
470
00:18:32,500 --> 00:18:35,707
go on to top colleges,
including Harvard.
471
00:18:35,708 --> 00:18:38,832
But most importantly,
you'd be helping people.
472
00:18:38,833 --> 00:18:41,541
Anna-Kat, do you have a pamphlet
for hearing aids?
473
00:18:41,542 --> 00:18:43,082
Dad heard
"helping people"
474
00:18:43,083 --> 00:18:45,874
when I clearly said
"Harvard."
475
00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:48,292
Harvard.
476
00:18:49,375 --> 00:18:51,291
And all I have to do
is apply and get in.
477
00:18:51,292 --> 00:18:53,541
And get this--
it's all done sitting down.
478
00:18:53,542 --> 00:18:55,541
Look at you,
Anna-Kat.
479
00:18:55,542 --> 00:18:57,499
You thought you couldn't
cheer us up, but you did.
480
00:18:57,500 --> 00:18:59,666
But there's someone else
who still needs my help.
481
00:18:59,667 --> 00:19:01,916
Let's talk about
the bracelet, Greg.
482
00:19:04,250 --> 00:19:05,458
Yeah.
483
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,332
Goodbye,
fully functioning can opener.
484
00:19:09,333 --> 00:19:11,249
We can't
afford you anymore.
485
00:19:11,250 --> 00:19:13,457
Goodbye,
hand-crank pasta press.
486
00:19:13,458 --> 00:19:15,082
I knew you were just gonna
collect dust in the basement,
487
00:19:15,083 --> 00:19:16,332
but the idea of you
was enough.
488
00:19:17,958 --> 00:19:20,041
Goodbye, cactus-shaped
margarita glasses.
489
00:19:20,042 --> 00:19:21,582
The fiesta's over.
490
00:19:21,583 --> 00:19:22,874
Mm.
491
00:19:22,875 --> 00:19:26,166
Goodbye,
banana hanger.
492
00:19:26,167 --> 00:19:28,291
And hello again,
493
00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:31,999
ceramic bowl
where fruit goes to die.
494
00:19:33,333 --> 00:19:34,541
Any regrets
about quitting?
495
00:19:34,542 --> 00:19:36,082
Hell, no.
496
00:19:36,083 --> 00:19:37,916
I know there's something better
for me out there.
497
00:19:37,917 --> 00:19:39,957
I want to find
what you have--
498
00:19:39,958 --> 00:19:43,332
a job that inspires me
and a smokin'-hot wife.
499
00:19:49,250 --> 00:19:51,832
Are you sure
this is a good idea?
500
00:19:51,833 --> 00:19:53,207
Are you kidding?
This is a great idea.
501
00:19:53,208 --> 00:19:55,291
If your students thought
having class outside was cool,
502
00:19:55,292 --> 00:19:56,624
they're gonna love this.
503
00:19:56,625 --> 00:19:58,249
Well, I am trying
to do new things.
504
00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:01,832
Trust me,
it's gonna be awesome.
505
00:20:01,833 --> 00:20:04,374
Okay. You ready?
Let's hear it.
506
00:20:04,375 --> 00:20:08,124
Four score and seven years ago,
507
00:20:08,125 --> 00:20:11,291
our fathers brought forth
on this continent
508
00:20:11,292 --> 00:20:15,166
a new nation,
conceived in liberty
509
00:20:15,167 --> 00:20:17,332
and dedicated
to the proposition
510
00:20:17,333 --> 00:20:20,499
that all men
are created equal.
511
00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:21,749
{\an8}This is amazing.
512
00:20:21,750 --> 00:20:23,457
{\an8}It's like history
come to life.
513
00:20:23,458 --> 00:20:27,166
{\an8}Now we are engaged
in a great Civil War.
514
00:20:27,167 --> 00:20:28,707
{\an8}Abe?
515
00:20:28,708 --> 00:20:30,582
{\an8}Abe, honey?
516
00:20:30,583 --> 00:20:32,666
Yes, Mary Todd?
517
00:20:32,667 --> 00:20:34,332
Do you want
to wrap this speech up?
518
00:20:34,333 --> 00:20:36,124
We're going to be late
to the theater.
519
00:20:37,083 --> 00:20:39,082
{\an8}I got us seats
in the balcony.
520
00:20:39,083 --> 00:20:40,374
{\an8}That's not funny.
521
00:20:40,375 --> 00:20:41,957
{\an8}Come on.
522
00:20:41,958 --> 00:20:43,832
{\an8}Give us a kiss.
523
00:20:43,833 --> 00:20:45,124
{\an8}No.
524
00:20:45,125 --> 00:20:46,832
{\an8}No!
525
00:20:46,833 --> 00:20:48,624
{\an8}Mwah, mwah!
526
00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:50,833
{\an8}No!
36848
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