Original subtitles

Yeah, here they come.

What's up, death row?

Hold up.

I'm about to bust out the plane, okay?

Get the fuck down.

All right, I'll take the one to the left. Take the one to the right.

There you go.

Honey, I hope you'll be ready to go.

Yeah, one sec, babe.

Hey, watch out, they're coming in.

They're coming in, they're coming in. Oh, no.

Oh, fuck, they're coming in.

Uh -oh. Uh -oh. Abort mission, abort, abort.

Fuck.

I'm dead.

I can't believe it.

Fuck.

Oh, need another beer, bro?

I'm good, I appreciate it, bro. All right.

Did we talk about?

What are you talking about?

These are my beers. I bought them.

I told you I'm not drinking your lame -ass wine coolers. Not about the beers.

About drinking with my boyfriend.

Are you seriously telling me to tell your boyfriend not to have any beers?

That's what we agreed to.

Well, that was before DEFCON 3 came out.

Listen to me. This is my only night off this week. and I want to spend it with

my boyfriend at a fancy restaurant eating nice food and dancing.

And when I come home, I want him in my bed.

I don't need him up all night playing video games, getting drunk with you, and

passing out on the sofa.

Okay, well, it's his day off too, so if he wants to spend it having brewskis

with his bro... I am not competing with you, Chadwick. He's my boyfriend.

You know what?

I think you're a bad influence on my best friend.

Me? The bad influence?

Yeah, that's right.

If your boyfriend wants to spend his time with his best friend more than he

wants to spend it with you, maybe you need to get a new boyfriend.

What did you just say?

Yo, Chad, what's the EPA on that IPA?

Face it, sis.

The man's made his choice.

You lose.

Honey, I am ready.

What are you doing?

Hey, come on, hop in the shower.

It's our one night of the week that we get to go on a date.

Come on.

Baby,

are you awake?

Come on, it's our date night.

Please, for me.

Baby, please. Come on, wake up. Wake up. We gotta go.

Hey, sis.

Nice dress.

Hey,

bro.

What's up?

Look, I'm not in the mood for more of your lectures right now, alright?

Lecture.

It's funny.

No, you know, I was just thinking about, you know, when we were kids, playing at

your mom and my dad's house, how we would always wrestle.

And, of course, I mean, I would always win.

Yeah, I mean, yeah, I would let you win sometimes.

Right.

Anyways, my point is, don't you miss how close we used to be?

Well, I suppose if we spent more time together, then...

I wouldn't be spending as much time with my best friend.

Exactly. Like, maybe you'd like hanging out with me so much you wouldn't even

want to see Jason.

Well, that's not really how it works. I mean, me and Jason just have a lot more

in common than you and I.

It's not that I don't like spending time with you. I do, but it's just

different.

Because I'm a girl?

Well, yeah.

You can't wrestle with me anymore because I'm a girl.

Well, you're a woman, and it's not exactly that cool to wrestle with your

adult stepsisters.

Because you'd get turned on?

What? Fuck off. What are you getting at here?

I want to make a deal. Okay? I want something from you that costs nothing.

Just your effort.

And in exchange, I will give you something for me that costs nothing,

effort.

And what do you have that I would want?

What don't I have that you would want?

How about this?

I take off the sexy little dress for you, so long as you leave my boyfriend

alone whenever I want.

You know this is kind of fucked up, right?

What kind of pervert do you think I am? Want to see my sister naked?

Okay, all right. Let's just forget about it. Sorry.

Okay, hold on.

I'm not saying I don't like the direction that this is headed.

I do.

It's just, you know, if you're just standing there naked, it's just going to

feel like my sister's standing there naked because she wants something in

exchange. It doesn't feel like it's really for me. It's not really that, you

know.

So I just maybe want to tweak it a little bit, you know? So what do you

Chad? I'm desperate here.

Well, there was this one time where you and Jason were in the other room and

you had this music playing and you were giggling and, I don't know,

it's going to sound kind of crazy, kind of goofy.

Just tell me.

I want you to give me a lap dance.

A dance?

Like, a striptease?

No, I've only ever done that for my boyfriend.

Do it for me like you would do it for him.

Oh, my God.

No, Chad.

Why are you laughing?

You're the one who came in here, like, ready to get naked for me to strip down.

Like, I'm not the pathetic one. Okay, deal.

Okay?

Deal.

Turn on some music.

Is this what you wanted?

Yeah that's working.

Mm -hmm.

Let me just, uh... I'm going to adjust my zipper if you can't let me.

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, cool.

What are you doing?

Oh, it's, um... It's not a big deal. I'm just... You know, I'm enjoying it,

so... Yeah. I can see that. You're fucking hard.

Yeah. So... I like it. Come on.

Should I continue?

Yeah.

It's distracting, like... Yeah?

Yeah. Well, I can feel that you're wet.

Well, yeah, there's a hard dick right up against me, like... Yeah,

I don't... Well...

What do you want me to do?

I mean, I don't know. It's more comfortable, I guess. You could take it

I'm...

I'm not going to do anything with it after that.

Okay. Yeah.

That sounds good.

Okay.

You want to just, you know, just grind against it a little more?

I guess, if I keep my panties on.

Yeah, like that.

Do you think maybe

I could just see you?

Next to your pretty face.

After that, a deal's a deal, I swear.

Okay. I just want to see it next to your face.

Yeah? Yeah, of course.

I have an even better idea.

Why don't you lay back on the bed?

Thank you.

A little sweeter for you.

A little better than what I was expecting.

But it's definitely blowing my mind.

Okay.

What is that?

Ugh.

Oh my god. Oh my fucking god.

Oh my goodness.

I didn't know my stepbrother had such a nice fucking cock.

Yeah.

Oh, that's just beautiful.

Bye.

Oh, stop it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know what?

I think you're a bad influence on my best friend.

Me? The black... Fuck, sorry.

One more time.