Original subtitles

♪ MTV.♪

♪ ♪

SISTINE: Billy, come here.

- Let's check this tree. - [barks]

SYLVESTER: You're not good at lizards.

- Wait, I think she found one. - Yeah, get a little bit quicker.

- Oh! - [screaming, clamoring]

- [screaming] - It's yours.

Dad, stop. Dad! Stop.

Reptiles, snakes,

turtles, tarantulas. That is my hell on earth.

How do you not get scared of that?

- [barking] - Mom, Billy caught a lizard.

No, she's just licking him.

She just likes to lick the lizard.

Billy, no. Stop, stop! Hey!

Scarlet,

I remember when she was six years old,

had a tarantula on her shoulder.

She's that kind of person.

The other two are afraid of houseflies.

SOPHIA: Ew, Dad!

[screams]

Now payback.

No, please don't. I actually am serious.

Please don't, please don't, please don't.

A gnat, they go into full-blown panics.

I don't know why, I feel bad for the gnat.

Please don't, please don't. Please don't.

- SISTINE: Do it! Do it! - Babe, you're not afraid.

- I'm afraid, I... I'm not into lizards at all. - Do it!

- Jennifer. - [screaming, clamoring]

Mom, it's on your pants!

[screaming]

There it is. Hunter.

- Gatherer. - Do it!

[Billy barking]

♪ Talk to me, baby♪

♪ I'm goin' blind from this sweet, sweet cravin', whoa-oh♪

♪ Let's lose our minds and go crazy, crazy♪

♪ I-I-I-I-I♪

♪ I-I-I-I-I.♪

♪ ♪

FRANK: Well, Sly, I haven't been here since...

1991.

I haven't been here since Lincoln was in the White House.

My brother has a gig in Atlantic City.

I haven't been here

since I was 14 years old.

Where I found a toe on the beach.

I don't want to get into that. It was just floating.

- PRODUCER: Whoa, what? - I did find a toe on the beach.

The toe had a Band-Aid on it.

Are you serious?

Can I make this up?

But today my brother has a gig singing

at the Hard Rock in Atlantic City,

and I can't be more excited.

♪ And there's nowhere to run♪

♪ Nowhere to run♪

♪ In the heat of night...♪

Wow!

Don't move, bro. Stay right there.

This will be epic.

FRANK: This is the story of my life.

Goddamn it. Come on.

I can't friggin' believe this. It's broken.

FRANK: And it goes dead when I pull into town.

SYLVESTER: There's one pixel lit, green.

FRANK: That is, that is bizarre.

Every time we play a really big show,

you know, it's like Murphy's Law or maybe

voodoo or something, and n-nothing ever works out.

It's just kind of a strange thing, you know.

I mean, I've broken my toe onstage.

I've had shit thrown at me onstage.

I've touched the mic on my mouth and it blew up.

I got electrocuted.

You can't get a break.

And I bet you before we get to the hotel,

we get four flats and they get

hit by a garbage truck.

I came along on the trip to Atlantic City

to make sure the show must go on no matter what.

This one's too important.

FRANK: The thing is, this is not like a normal gig.

I've been trying to get in this gig for a long time, brother.

This show, to me, is ultra-important.

If the show goes well,

they got 16 Hard Rocks.

And that means I could play

every one of them during the year.

A big deal for me.

SYLVESTER: Be prepared.

If it can happen, it will.

♪ ♪

[all screaming, clamoring]

Oh, my God!

Look at you.

SISTINE: I don't get to see Scarlet

that often when she's at school,

but she told us she broke up with her boyfriend.

So I'm just going to be there for her

as much as I possibly can.

Scarlet, you look so good.

Really?

I haven't seen you in so long. I've missed you.

- I got kind of bangs. - You did cut bangs.

- She did cut bangs. - Good for you.

You know when you get bored at looking at yourself?

It's just, like, I want something to change.

SOPHIA: How's dating life been?

You know, it...

Just so much has, you know, happened,

and I did go on a couple dates,

and they were kind of humps for sure.

- Why? - Because they're not Joe.

'Cause they're not Joe?

I wanted to be in a relationship,

but he said

there's no way it could really work out.

Aw!

SCARLET: Joe and I are not together.

However, I do still deeply care about him.

I don't want him out of my life.

And it's hard for me to move on.

But for right now,

he has his life and doing his thing.

Sometimes they're friends and then they're exclusive and then

they're boyfriend/girlfriend, then they're friends.

It was almost like they were missing the mark

on each other every single time.

And it seems like this time around she wanted him,

but it wasn't reciprocated.

SCARLET: Best friends forever, but I guess not.

It was so overwhelming.

I think it's a mix of sadness,

scared and...

confusion and...

I just can't be friends with him.

[sniffles]

SISTINE: Not only is she losing a guy that she

truly, truly cared about,

she's also losing a best friend at the same time.

And now not having your partner

and your person with you anymore is hard.

I just, uh, don't really see myself

- dating... - Anyone else?

Anyone else.

I'm a little worried about Scarlet 'cause she hasn't

really talked like this about someone and she's, like,

making all these claims that she doesn't want

to try anyone else and no one's like Joe.

And I feel like she's struggling.

SCARLET: Some girl will be so lucky.

♪ ♪

JENNIFER: We have actually planted

some strawberries,

- plums. It's amazing. - Oh, I can't wait.

JENNIFER: My best friend Kirstin, I've known since junior high.

Over 40 years.

She's been there from the very beginning.

Yeah, junior high, I was voted "most shy."

I wouldn't talk to anybody except you.

- KIRSTIN: That was it. - JENNIFER: Sly is in Atlantic City right now.

And for me, being an empty nester now,

I-I love having her around.

So you're not gonna believe this.

You know, Scarlet just had a big heartbreak.

Oh, my God.

- I can't believe it. - The baby, like...

- That's the baby. - I know.

- So it's a lot. - It's got to be really tough.

- She's very independent. - Yeah.

And I know she won't open up to me

as much as she opens up to Sly.

That's what's causing me so much stress.

- Can you call me once in a while? - I know.

How about call me, check in or come home once in a while?

- Yeah, she will. - But I don't know.

Scarlet is super independent.

And even though I want to go

see her in college,

I have to respect her,

and not go and visit her every other weekend.

I need to give her her space and let her grow.

I know that.

It's just empty home.

There's nobody here.

And I'm so happy that you came over.

- Me, too. - And I mean, I was thinking back.

You have known Sly for now, 35 years.

[chuckles] Just as long as you have.

Listen, you were on, what, our first date?

- No, the first date... - I was there the night you met

- and first date. - First date, like second date.

- I remember you. We met at a restaurant. - Right.

I remember vividly the first time I met Jennifer.

I was in this dark restaurant with a few people.

And it's you and I, and we've never

gone out in Hollywood, really before.

She came in and...

whoa, something... happened.

I'll never forget

seeing his face

when he saw you for the first time.

- Aw. - I witnessed it.

I just felt,

like, this jolt, like, oh, did we just have

a minor earthquake or something, like...?

We just hit it off. It was crazy.

Like we were inseparable all night.

And remember we went to that club downtown?

- I was the third wheel. - You were the third wheel.

But you were a great, lucky third wheel, Kirstin.

I said, why don't we go to a club or something?

She goes, "Uh, okay,

"but I'll, I'll follow you over.

I-I, you know, just want to be in my own car."

No, he's like, "Come in the limo."

- We're like, "We're good." - "No, we're good.

"I've got the Dodge Duster parked out back.

- We'll follow you there." - "We got it."

[engine turns over]

SYLVESTER: So I walk outside,

and she has this Dodge Duster,

primer colored, missing one headlight.

- The speedometer didn't work. - Speedometer didn't work.

The gas gauge didn't work.

And a gas rag hanging out of the back,

like a Molotov cocktail.

I was like, "Yeah, because I don't have a gas cap."

Things, as they say, happen

when you least expect it.

Nobody knows what life is gonna bring.

And then 35 years later,

you look at your beautiful family and you realize

you're the luckiest son of a bitch in the world.

We've been through a lot since our first date.

[laughing] We've been through

- a lot together. - Yeah, yeah.

- I love you so much. - I love you, too.

SOPHIA: Mom, did you make this coffee?

- It's good, isn't it? - Mm, it's a little lukewarm.

Lukewarm coffee is nasty.

Has anyone heard from Scarlet?

- She's really sad. - SOPHIA: She's really sad.

- I feel bad. - Yeah, she's not good.

You know, I feel like we should get your dad involved in this,

because he's really good with dealing with breakups.

Scarlet and Sly are very similar.

And they understand each other very well.

I know he's in Atlantic City with Frank right now, so maybe

we should do, like, a FaceTime.

My dad keeps it real with us.

And every time he's given us advice, it's always been right.

It's like, I don't know how long this is going to be

until she gets over it, and we need all hands

on deck if that's the case.

- Hi, Dad. - Hi.

So we have some news for you.

- What's going on? - Gonna sip my tea.

So your third daughter is spiraling right now.

She got dumped.

Joe broke up with her. She got the boot.

She's very strong. You know, she's very tough.

Yeah, but she really liked this one.

She might need you to talk to her or something,

because I think she's not going to get over this.

I think she will get over it.

I don't think she's as depressed as you guys think she is.

SISTINE: I don't think my dad

is comprehending how difficult

it is as a young woman navigating a breakup.

She's not happy.

And we need you to call her or something because it's not good.

He's got to be a little more sensitive.

She knows how to handle these situations

emotionally pretty well.

You're telling me a 20-year-old has better

emotional capabilities than me?

Okay, I got an idea.

I'll bet you that... in two weeks,

she'll be over this guy.

And if you lose the bet,

you have to come with me, unfortunately,

to this lizard store that Uncle Frank

wants to go to because

- he thinks he needs... - There's no way.

...a reptile companion.

What?

My brother who's never had a pet,

decided he finally wants to get one.

Yeah, I want a pet, but I don't want to walk a dog

in the morning and pick up...

I don't know. I was thinking, you know,

I want a giant monitor lizard.

Well, it should meet my lion.

[laughter]

SYLVESTER: Pick up a reptile

anytime you want. I'll back you up.

SOPHIA: Reptile store with Frank

seems like torture.

I don't want to be there alone.

Deal?

- So hold on... - Deal! Deal, I'll take it.

Because I can tell you right now that

there's no way she'll be over it in two weeks.

Okay.

- I'm sorry. - You got a bet.

- I got to run, guys. - All right.

- Bye, love you. - Love you.

No. We're gonna win this.

I've been heartbroken,

so I know what Scarlet's going through.

You want her to stay depressed

so you don't have to go

to the lizard store.

I mean, that's pretty shallow hallow of you.

When you say it like that...

♪ ♪

Check one, two, one, two, one, two.

EMT: Your blood pressure is a little high right now.

It's 154/96.

It could be because of the stress of the situation.

EMT 2: When did the nosebleed start again?

I'm in the hotel room the day of the show.

My nose starts bleeding. Are you fucking kidding me?

I was packing, I was doing everything,

and I was coughing up just this horrible coag--

It's disgusting. Blood all over the place.

Can't believe you have this hospital with you here.

This is what they do, man.

- They keep busy. - You have a sore nose.

This is for a gunshot wound.

It's not a normal nosebleed.

It can't happen at home while I'm tying my shoes, right?

It has to happen on one

of the biggest shows that I want to do.

SYLVESTER: Really Murphy's Law.

And I'm not kidding you,

every film I enjoyed making was a horror.

Didn't work, it was a disaster.

Every film that was a nightmare to work on, successful.

What's that tell you?

If you don't get injured, you're not going to sing well.

- So injury... - FRANK: Injury brings on...

Disaster is what brings on good luck.

- There's something to that. - FRANK: Rocky II,

you ripped your peck and had to do the movie.

- Like when you broke your toe before Rocky Balboa. - Oh, man.

It was the most painful, but had to do the movie.

You had to cut out the toe of your...

I was fighting with shoe-- toeless boots.

But no one looked down.

The scariest time I ever had in like a movie fight,

Rocky III, a real fighter hit me

so hard and he just went whack-- in the shoulder.

Not my face. And I literally capsized.

Sly was here and he just disappeared.

The producers jump in. "Don't hurt him. Don't hurt him!

Don't hurt our meal ticket."

I said, I'm done.

Get me a nice tender sweetheart like Mr. T.

[laughter]

If I'm onstage and I start bleeding,

they'll probably think it's part of the show.

They probably think it's like Alice Cooper.

Yeah, everyone loves vampires.

I'm so used to having things fail and not happen.

I'm thankful Sly's here with me

to help remember the show must go on.

SYLVESTER: You don't want me to fill in?

- FRANK: No way. - SYLVESTER: Just don't fall down a well.

FRANK: Here we go.

♪ ♪

[cheering and applause]

Sold out. Packed.

I just hope my nose doesn't open up again

or something worse with my luck.

SYLVESTER: Ladies and gentlemen...

[crowd cheering]

Yo.

Jersey.

I'm here to deliver the message, okay?

My brother, who really has more talent than me,

is about to lay it all on you.

[cheering]

So I want you all to give it up for Frank Stallone!

♪ ♪

♪ This is the end♪

♪ You made your choice and now my chance is over...♪

- Get up! - [cheering]

♪ You put me down and say I'm goin' nowhere♪

[cheering]

♪ Save me, darlin'♪

♪ I am down but I am far from over...♪

My brother persevered and dealt with this

terrible nosebleed of colossal proportions.

[laughs] Dare I go there?

I just had to say that. I'm sorry.

Let me try that again.

Frank got over his nosebleed,

played an amazing show,

and the bad luck streak was officially broken.

♪ Save me, darlin'♪

♪ I am down but I am far from over.♪

[cheering and applause]

Thank you!

Frank Stallone!

♪ ♪

Buster. Come.

JENNIFER: Where's your lizards?

Yeah, there, there.

[Buster barking]

What's up, playas?

At first I thought you were Scarlet.

Oh, well, sorry. You got the other one.

Aww. Boo.

Scarlet's about to come home for the weekend.

I'm super excited. I've got her room ready.

Refrigerator's full of food.

I'm so happy we're going to have the whole family together.

So, this will be so nice.

- It's gonna be great. - Yeah, and she could be really sad.

Unlike some people believe.

I'm just saying, I think I know Scarlet.

And I think I won the bet. Just saying.

I don't want to go to a reptile place.

- I really hope... - Don't, if you say...

- I hope she's really sad. - You're already jinxing it.

- JENNIFER: Scar! - SYLVESTER: Hey!

[all whooping]

SISTINE: She's home!

Hi, baby.

Oh, my goodness. Look at you.

- Look at you. - Aw. - Hi.

Look at you. Your hair looks pretty.

You look so great, baby. Mmm.

I love you so much. I'm glad you're home.

She just keeps growing and growing, doesn't she?

Yeah.

I love you, baby.

Oh, Scarlet, before we get going,

how are you and Joe doing?

I mean... no, I'm happy.

Joe and I are both happy, no matter what.

- SOPHIA: Aw, geez, okay. - And we're great friends now.

You're like just, "Oh, we're just friends. We're fine."

- No, we're fine. - Not heartbroken?

Is it bad that I'm not sad?

[Sylvester laughs]

What the heck?

She's fine?

I'm fine, I mean... [laughs]

It has literally been not even two weeks.

Actually, maybe not even two seconds.

Whatever she's having, I'll have because

that's the way to go about it.

But we-we're better off as friends.

Yes, thank you very much.

SOPHIA: So you're not sad at all?

- I know my daughter. - Not even a little bit?

I'm in a house of females.

Even when I'm right, I'm wrong. I never win.

Finally, I won today.

Thank you, Scarlet, for proving me right,

because it's never going to happen again.

No, I don't want to go to a lizard shop! Ugh!

- What does that mean? - What the hell are you guys talking about?

Dad made a bet that if you were upset about Joe,

that he wouldn't have to bring us

to this stupid lizard reptile store with Frank.

We lost the bet.

And I am absolutely horrified

about what is to come.

SCARLET: You guys made a bet on my feelings?

[rattling]

- [hissing] - SISTINE: Oh, no.

SOPHIA: Oh, no, no, no.

I can already smell from out here.

It does have a certain fragrance.

This is not a good idea.

FRANK: I'm a bachelor, so he's figuring

something like this to keep me company.

What kind of woman are you trying to attract

if you're walking one of these?

Welcome to Jurassic Park.

He's a tiny frog. Wake up, bro.

FRANK: Oh, he's pissing.

- Oh, come on. - It's raining. It's raining.

Is that actual pee?

Jesus Christ, that thing come with a life jacket?

JAY: You want me to get something crazy out?

- SYLVESTER: Yeah. - FRANK: Yeah, man.

- [Sophia gasping] - Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God.

JAY: Is that a big enough snake for you?

Oh, my God, that is so big.

JAY: Oh, everything's exciting today!

- SYLVESTER: Oh no! - FRANK: He went to the bathroom?

- SOPHIA: Not again! - [Frank blows raspberry]

FRANK: Oh, it's like a truck stop.

- [gagging] - [laughing]

When you applied for this job,

did you have any idea you'd be dealing with 350-pound snakes?

Oh, my God. It's so heavy.

- I'm not touching that, pal. - [Jay laughs]

Bringing them to this place

and seeing them freak out?

Major payback.

Of course they're making bets on my feelings behind my back.

They deserve it. [laughs]

No. No!

No, no, no, no, no, no.

- No, no, no. - SOPHIA: I'm going home.

SCARLET: It almost bit you.

Sophia, give Daddy a hug.

- No, no, no, no, no. - Why?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I think my dad torturing us

is one of his favorite pastimes, to be quite frank.

It's kind of cool, right?

[whimpering]

- [gasping] - JAY: You're living the dream right now.

You never dreamt you'd do this.

SYLVESTER: Oh, I'm so proud of you, baby love.

- SOPHIA: Can you get him? - Watch her. She's gonna faint.

- [yelps] - [laughter]

- Your turn. - I-I can't, Dad, I can't.

I hate spiders.

I have had a fear of them since I can remember.

Sistine, I know you can do this.

- FRANK: Come on. - JAY: Come on, come on.

One thing I'm bad at is peer pressure,

and I can't say no to people,

and I just want to look tough.

[stammering, screaming]

JAY: It doesn't hurt.

[shrieking] Get it off, get it off!

- Please stop, please get it off. - He wants to go up for some reason.

Oh, my God!

That was not nice.

We've learned our lesson.

It may be a little insensitive

on our part to bet on Scarlet's heartbreak, but...

You know what? We're messed-up people, all right?

You just got to roll with it.

This is our family. Scarlet will get over it.

Sly's gonna pet a turtle.

I'll never learn.

Sorry, Scarlet.

Sophia and I were just talking about Frank on our podcast.

- SYLVESTER: What's the problem? - He's too controversial.

FRANK: We should do a podcast about the first time I had sex.

SCARLET: Oh, my God!

When I was younger,

I fell in love with acting.

Now it's your turn.

It makes me so nervous.

It's a lot of pressure

because I'm doing this with my dad.

Don't screw this up, Scarlet.

♪ Come on now, roll with the crazy♪

♪ Dance like 1980♪

♪ Ooh, ooh♪

♪ Roll with the crazy♪

♪ Dance like 1980♪

♪ ♪

♪ Roll with me, baby♪

♪ You ain't gonna save me♪

♪ Ooh, ooh.♪

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org