All language subtitles for Tyler.Perrys.House.of.Payne.S14E17.1080p.WEB.h264-BAE_track3_[eng]

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Original subtitles

[upbeat music]

[exhales] Peace and quiet.

Oh.

[relaxing music]

[humming]

[sighs]

-What it do, Cal? -What's up, my man?

Pookie, Peanut, what do you guys want?

Is that any kind of way to greet your two best homies?

Man, you gotta start showing us some gratitude

or else we gonna take this party elsewhere, man.

Please take the party elsewhere.

Look, I thought I told you guys

this weekend the kids are going with their moms.

You did. Why you think we showed up, baby?

Party? Let's go!

Yeah, we got the whole weekend to kick it.

Look, aren't you guys hitched up

and damn near married now?

All right, stop. All right?

Don't hate. Don't say the M-word, Cal.

You starting to stress me out.

Don't bring up the bloodsuckers, all right?

-The bloodsuckers? -Yeah, man.

My girl, that's all she does.

She just sucks and sucks, and sucks.

And you have a problem with that?

Yeah, P, you didn't tell me she'd just be sucking like that.

No, no.

The gas station, the ice was doing.

-She just... -Not that kind of suck.

-Oh, okay. -Not that kind of suck.

She just sucks the life

and the fun out of everything we do, man.

Yo, they all do that, P. My girl do the same thing.

We'll be out, right? About to have a great night.

And she always finds a way to ruin it.

Every time. That's why I hate her so much.

-Then why are you with her? -Duh.

Man, that's all cap. You know I love that girl.

You know what? It sounds like

y'all don't understand relationships.

-Who? -I know he not talking.

-He talking to you? -Yeah.

-You know he talking to me. -No, he not.

Yes, Peanut, now ain't this the same dude that got...

What you got, Cal? You got two baby mama.

You got an ex-wife and an ex-fiancée.

That's... That's... Oh.

You know what they say, man.

He who live in a stone house shouldn't throw glasses.

Huh?

-You know what he trying to say. -[Peanut] Yeah.

What Peanut is saying is, Calvin, you can't judge us

because you are the opposite of perfect.

Okay, okay, okay, guys, look. I meant I wanted to be alone.

I had a house, an empty house with no kids for the weekend.

I didn't mean that I wanted you guys to come over.

No, I meant I wanted some peace and quiet,

and some time to think.

-Time to think? -[Calvin] Yeah.

[Pookie] You know what, fellas? I gotta say, man,

I'm really starting to miss the good old days.

Yeah, and I don't.

Bro, I am happiest when I'm married

and building my family.

Cal, you gotta stop, man.

You really starting to scare me.

I know what it is. I figured it out.

I know what it is, P. It's Laura.

Laura got you all twisted up, Calvin.

[Peanut] Yeah.

Don't let her get you off your game, man.

That's what women want to do.

Calvin, don't let her win this, bro.

What's wrong with you? Come on, shake out of it, man.

Stop. Stop.

I think she already might have won it.

-What that mean? -Being here alone.

All this time to think.

You gotta stop all this thinking, man.

Stop thinking about it.

I'm thinking that maybe I should get back with Laura.

Oh, I'm weak. [exhales]

[opening theme]

[birds chirping]

[airplane flying overhead]

[car alarm blaring, horn honking]

[sirens wailing]

[helicopter blades whirring]

[funky music]

[knocking on door] Go away.

-What's up, Curtis? -What's up, Floyd?

Hey, look here, man.

Today is your lucky day, Sauce Boss.

Wait. Y'all moving to Alaska?

So I can have some peace and quiet?

[scoffs]

Ta-da! I got your record player fixed.

What?

-Yeah. -How'd you do that?

Man, I got this friend downtown. His name's Sylvester.

He's got this record store, right?

He's got all these old needles, right?

And so I took the bus down there,

and then I took a Uber back. And then I came up here,

and I got your record player fixed, man.

And it plays good as new.

Look, it even spins in the right direction.

Just don't touch it. Don't touch it.

Damn, Floyd. Get out of here, man.

Yeah, man.

Yeah, brother, you gonna learn to appreciate

your friend, Fleezoid.

[stammering] Floyd. Appreciate you?

-[Floyd] Okay. -You like the old luggage.

Wow. Okay.

I guess from Curtis Payne that's, that's a compliment.

Well, you know what I gotta do?

What you gotta do?

-I gotta get all them old LPs. -Uh-oh, uh-oh.

-Ella better get ready. -Ella?

Ella better get ready for what?

Some Roberta Flack and some Donny Hathaway

-What? -[Curtis] Baby, look.

Floyd got my record player fixed.

Oh, ha, ha. Let me guess.

You getting ready to go and get your old LPs?

I'm about to go get all of 'em.

I know. I know. Thank you a lot, Floyd.

You know what, Floyd? This is so nice. Thank you!

Well, at least one of you can appreciate

a friend doing something for a friend.

Wait a minute now. He appreciates you, Floyd.

Now, Curtis does just have a hard time showing it.

Yeah, I noticed.

He said he loves me like old luggage.

Right there. That's a compliment.

Yes, Curtis loves his old luggage.

I want to get rid of it.

-Hey, Auntie. -Hi, baby.

-What's up, Floyd? -What's happening, Chief?

-[laughter] -What's this?

Floyd got Curtis' record player fixed.

Oh, so y'all going to be listening to Roberta Flack

-albums all night. -Apparently.

-Yeah. -[Curtis] Ella.

Where's my old albums?

Curtis, they're wherever you put them.

I remember you stashed a bunch of them up in the attic.

We got an attic?

Me and Calvin will go up there and get them for you, man.

Thank you.

Speaking of Calvin, how's he doing?

Oh, I haven't seen him.

He been over there trying to take care of them boys.

Oh, you know they at that age now where their days

and their nights are full.

I know all about them days and nights.

Me and Janine, I don't know what we was thinking about

when we had twins.

No, CJ, those precious babies

are worth every moment you spend with them.

-Yes, they are. -Yes, they are.

So what's going on with Calvin?

He came over asking so many questions,

I finally told him,

"Yes, man. Miranda has a new boyfriend."

-How'd he take it? -Not good.

He came over here asking me the same thing.

-And what'd you tell him? -I didn't tell him anything.

I just said, "Go check the source. Ask Miranda."

And instead, he came over and asked me.

Well, CJ, he'll be all right.

Yeah, he seemed a little anxious.

I told him he needed to just sit down somewhere

-and take some time to himself. -Yes.

-And he not gonna do that. -No, I know.

Well, why you think he not gonna do that?

Well, what else you think he gonna do?

He gonna go running back to Laura.

Oh, he wouldn't do that.

Curtis, you need to talk to him.

And say what, Ella?

[exhales]

If she makes him happy, there ain't nothing we can do.

She don't make him happy.

[upbeat music]

You did win, but it was close. What made the difference?

[laughs] We would need to conduct a formal poll for that.

But informally, uh, being on the street,

Gloria Higginbottom got to run on the things

that she's done in the neighborhood, actually.

What were those things specifically?

Oh, well, I mean,

making people clean their yards, moving old cars.

Making sure that there's no junk anywhere.

She even encouraged people to keep the sidewalks clean

and decorate for Christmas.

And she completely revitalized the neighborhood watch program.

So all of those things really

got to show people what she's about.

And that's what led to her being reelected.

So I have here terrible flyers

that Elizabeth Wellington's campaign put out

about your candidate.

You didn't respond in kind. Why is that?

You didn't even try to combat

the negative things alleged here.

I love that he asked about not engaging

in negative campaigning.

I know. He's really, really good.

Well, we didn't even think

to give those negative things a response.

We refuted that by allowing the truth to speak for itself.

Thank you, Malik.

This was great. Congratulations again.

-Thank you. -I appreciate it.

Yeah, bro, you actually sounded kind of smart.

Well, that's because I am smart.

Yeah, you all right.

What about me? Did I do a good job?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Hold on, player.

[scoffs] You not about to cloud my shine today, okay?

-Today about me-- -Malik.

[clears throat]

Jaxon, you did all right, too.

I'll take that.

Yeah, hey, great interview, Jaxon.

-So, uh, we done here? -Mm-hmm.

Look at my brother doing big guys.

Well, thank you, little sis.

About time you recognized my greatness.

I don't need you to get a big head, okay?

-Relax. -I'm calm.

-[laughs] -Are you out?

Yeah. I gotta go meet the councilman downtown.

Hey, uh, good luck on your project.

Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

-No problem, no problem. -Get out of here.

-See you, big bro. -See you, Malik.

All right, y'all.

Well, I'll go to the NFA, get all this footage ingested.

And I am off to a staff meeting for us RAs.

Y'all are the best. Thank y'all so much.

See you guys. Bye, Jaxon.

-Bye, Jazmine. -Bye.

-Bye. -Bye, boo.

I think we have another win.

This project is gonna be amazing.

Yeah, we have a pretty solid group.

-All right, I'll see you. -All right.

So?

So what?

Did you give any thought to my dinner invite?

-I did. -Okay.

-I accept. -Really?

Yes, but I'm not leaving the comfort of my home for it,

so you can come here.

And I like cooking, so I guess I'll cook.

And I like eating. Sounds like a plan.

-Bye. -I'll see you.

[sighs]

[soft music]

All right.

One for me.

One for you.

A little more for you.

[knocking on door]

[deep breath]

Hey.

Hi, Calvin.

Wow. You look amazing.

I know.

[soft music]

Mmm. Smells good in here.

-Are you cooking something? -I did.

Mmm. Baked salmon or baked chicken?

Don't act like that's the only two things that I can cook.

[laughs] Those are the only two things you can cook.

So which one is it?

-Baked chicken. -Bingo. [laughs]

-But you love my baked chicken. -I do.

-It's really good, actually. -Why, thank you.

-I'll set the table. -I appreciate that.

Okay.

I really appreciate you coming over.

Oh, you have no idea

how many times I changed my mind, Calvin.

I know.

But I just wanted to get you here and talk to you alone.

And I was just trying to decide what good talking would do.

Well, communication is everything.

It is.

But we had a lot of discussions, Calvin.

-We said it all. -We did.

But, uh, there's some things that I didn't say.

-Or didn't say enough. -Like what?

Like, uh...

I'm sorry.

Sorry for what?

I'm sorry that...

I'm sorry that I didn't listen to you.

I'm sorry that I didn't take your concerns seriously enough.

I'm sorry that you felt like you weren't protected.

Wow.

Calvin, I appreciate your apologies,

but I just feel like you didn't take my concerns seriously

because you wrote them off.

And I'm sorry it seemed like that.

Wait. What is this?

Oh, that's beans and rice.

[laughs] Okay.

That's a new addition to your little chicken dinner.

Your mama helped you make those?

-No, I made it. -How you make it?

Look, Laura, can you just please sit down

and enjoy dinner without all the questions?

Okay. Okay.

-Thank you. -[laughs]

-Was it an online video? -Okay, I confess.

I knew it. [sighs]

Calvin, I just...

I just never felt heard.

I know.

And it always bothered me when you said that, Laura.

I just... I don't know.

I felt like you just wrote me off as a drama queen.

Okay, Laura. You are a drama queen at times.

See, Calvin, right there, you're doing it right now.

Okay, okay, but baby, I brought you here to apologize to you.

I don't even think it's any apology

that you need to do, I just think it's who you are.

No, it's not. It's not who I am.

A relationship, it's a journey that both people are on, right?

It's a thing that both people continuously put in work on.

Yes, Calvin. I know.

My parents have been married for a very long time.

Yes.

And they always talk about putting in the work.

Yes. They don't give up on it. They put in the work.

I just... I feel like we've tried that.

Do you love me enough to put in work?

I thought I did.

-But... -Calvin.

[soft music]

-Hey, Jaxon. -Hey, Jazmine.

-These are for you. -Oh, my gosh!

Come in, come in. You got me flowers.

-Yeah. -Hm. You did good.

-I try. -Thank you.

And thank you for making dinner for us.

Oh, don't thank me yet. You haven't tasted it.

-It's going to taste great. -How do you know?

Well, I'd assume you wouldn't offer to cook for us

if you couldn't cook.

I mean, I have my few dishes that I make.

[laughs] These are beautiful.

Hello, Mr. Payne.

-Mr. Payne? Where? -Hey, Jaxon. How you doing?

Good.

Daddy, what you doing down here?

-Um, I live here. -I know.

But you told me I could have dinner with Jaxon tonight.

-I know. -Remember?

Yes. I'm just going to get something out of my kitchen,

and then I'm going back upstairs.

-Is that okay with you? -Dad.

-Is that okay with you, son? -Uh, yes, sir. It's fine, sir.

Good answer.

-Daddy, go back upstairs. -Okay.

So, uh, baby, what did you cook?

It's none of your business, Daddy.

-You ain't eating it. -Okay.

Well, uh, you know she can only cook three things.

Dad!

And I'm excited to eat those three things.

Good answer. It's going to be chicken,

breaded chicken with the red sauce,

fried chicken, uh, baked chicken.

-Dad. -It's going to be chicken.

Okay. I'm going back upstairs. Don't mind me.

Don't mean to get in nobody's way.

-Y'all enjoy yourselves. -All right.

-All right. -Goodbye.

-All right. -See you later.

Okay. Bye-bye.

Jaxon.

[Jazmine] See you, Daddy.

I'm so sorry about that. Come on.

Let's go have dinner.

-Gotta get a vase for these. -Wow. This is nice.

-Oh, you like baked chicken? -It's my favorite.

I told you it was going to be chicken.

Daddy! Just ignore him. [laughs]

Is that cornbread?

Oh, you know that's cornbread.

-I love cornbread! -[laughs]

Calvin.

What are we doing?

We're reminding each other how much we mean.

Intimacy and sex

is never our issue, Calvin.

You ain't never lie.

[laughs] Okay. Be serious.

I am.

But Calvin, all of our other issues are still going

to be staring at us right in the face.

Yeah. And baby, those are the things we will work on.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Let's, let's, let's eat.

We made this wonderful meal. Like, let's, let's enjoy it.

Yes.

[banging on door]

-Who is that? -Oh, no.

Don't tell me you got a new piece already, Calvin.

Oh, no, no, no, no. I ain't got no pieces.

But then who was that?

[banging on door]

It's probably Pookie and Peanut again.

Oh, well, I'm hiding in the bathroom.

Here, take your purse. Here, here.

Mom, Dad, what are y'all doing here?

Calvin. I hope we're disturbing you.

Your mom wanted to check on you.

-Well, um, I... -Can we come in, Calvin?

-Come on in. -Okay.

Look, I was just having dinner.

Okay. Calvin, are you okay?

Yeah, Mom, I'm fine.

Well, we haven't heard from you.

Oh, well, you know, I've been busy with the boys,

you know, running them here, running them there.

-Okay. I know how that is. -Yeah.

-That's what I told her. -Exactly.

Well, Calvin, I just want to make sure

that you're not over here all sad and depressed

-from the little breakup. -Okay.

There you go. Calvin's all right. You good?

Yes, Curtis.

Calvin, I don't want you over here

making no crazy decisions.

There are plenty of fish in the sea.

-Mom, I'm okay. -Okay.

See, babe, Calvin just needed time to figure it out.

Good.

Well, I just want him to figure it out without... Laura?

-Hey, Laura. -Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Payne.

Laura and I was just having dinner.

[upbeat music]

They sure as hell didn't know that I was here.

[Malik] Next onHouse of Payne...

I don't feel safe, and I don't feel appreciated in your world.

And your people don't rock with your girl.

No, you don't rock with my people, Laura.

I can't believe I'm sitting here with you.

To be honest, I can't believe I'm sitting here

with you either.

Thank you for giving me another chance to show you who I am.

You're welcome.

-Did we ruin it for you? -I don't know, Mom.

So are you trying to get back with her?

[music]

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