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1
00:00:02,433 --> 00:00:04,367
- So, dear...
- What?
2
00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:06,367
Do you see anything you like?
3
00:00:06,667 --> 00:00:08,933
I don't know. What's venison?
4
00:00:09,133 --> 00:00:11,067
- Deer.
- What?
5
00:00:11,567 --> 00:00:13,433
- Deer.
- What?
6
00:00:14,333 --> 00:00:16,567
Deer. D-E-E-R.
7
00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:18,567
What? W-H-A-T.
8
00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:22,533
What's wrong with him?
9
00:00:23,767 --> 00:00:27,200
Jake, it's... It's the deer
in the forest, like... Like Bambi.
10
00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:29,767
Oh, cool, let's eat Bambi.
11
00:00:30,533 --> 00:00:33,333
Coming soon to pay-per-view.
12
00:00:38,500 --> 00:00:40,333
Mom, wha...? What are you doing?
13
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,167
- Nothing.
- Oh, that's stealing.
14
00:00:43,867 --> 00:00:47,200
Hardly. I'm paying $ 12 for a martini.
15
00:00:47,367 --> 00:00:49,867
They're lucky I don't take a chair.
16
00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:53,767
- You're paying?
- Figure of speech, Charles.
17
00:00:54,500 --> 00:00:55,800
Can I take this?
18
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:57,500
- No.
- Oh, come on.
19
00:00:57,967 --> 00:01:00,367
My precious.
20
00:01:00,567 --> 00:01:03,400
Put it down. We do not take things
that don't belong to us.
21
00:01:03,567 --> 00:01:07,000
Listen who's taking the moral
high ground, Mr. Five-Finger Discount.
22
00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:09,700
- What does that mean?
- It doesn't mean anything.
23
00:01:09,867 --> 00:01:13,733
- How do you want your venison?
- Does it come with antlers?
24
00:01:14,233 --> 00:01:18,033
Alan, there's no reason
your son can't learn from your mistakes.
25
00:01:18,233 --> 00:01:20,167
I didn't make a mistake, Mom.
26
00:01:20,367 --> 00:01:22,500
Unbelievable.
Twenty-five years later...
27
00:01:22,667 --> 00:01:24,600
...and he still denies shoplifting.
28
00:01:25,667 --> 00:01:28,667
Oh, I get it. Five-finger discount.
Cool.
29
00:01:29,500 --> 00:01:32,000
I did not shoplift, Jake.
It was a misunderstanding.
30
00:01:32,333 --> 00:01:33,667
Alan, please.
31
00:01:33,900 --> 00:01:36,167
Walking around a toy store
with your brother...
32
00:01:36,333 --> 00:01:38,733
...and the Silly Putty just jumped
in your pocket?
33
00:01:38,900 --> 00:01:40,700
Yes.
34
00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:44,200
Not much of a lie, Dad.
35
00:01:45,100 --> 00:01:47,267
Okay, everybody ready to order?
36
00:01:47,467 --> 00:01:49,667
Is that why you won't
let me have Silly Putty?
37
00:01:49,867 --> 00:01:51,867
It's a stupid, pointless toy.
38
00:01:52,067 --> 00:01:53,533
But why'd you steal it?
39
00:01:53,733 --> 00:01:57,467
I didn't. The security guard must have
planted it on me to make a bust.
40
00:01:57,633 --> 00:01:59,900
Oh, Alan.
41
00:02:00,067 --> 00:02:04,000
Who in their right mind would plant
Silly Putty on a 9-year-old boy?
42
00:02:04,300 --> 00:02:06,300
Who, indeed?
43
00:02:07,633 --> 00:02:10,967
- Hey, Jake, you ever eaten snails?
- Yeah, sure.
44
00:02:11,167 --> 00:02:12,867
I mean, in a restaurant.
45
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,267
Oh, no.
46
00:02:29,433 --> 00:02:32,400
- You okay?
- No. That deer didn't have antlers...
47
00:02:32,567 --> 00:02:35,067
...when I ate it,
but it's sure coming out that way.
48
00:02:36,967 --> 00:02:39,400
Well, you'll feel better tomorrow.
49
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:41,767
We should sue that restaurant.
50
00:02:42,333 --> 00:02:45,600
Well, I'll get right on it. Come on.
51
00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:47,733
- Dad?
- Yeah.
52
00:02:47,900 --> 00:02:50,167
Did you ever steal a car?
53
00:02:50,333 --> 00:02:52,000
I never stole anything.
54
00:02:52,367 --> 00:02:53,733
It's okay. You could tell me.
55
00:02:53,900 --> 00:02:56,267
I already know you got a rap sheet.
56
00:02:56,933 --> 00:02:59,600
For the last time,
I did not take that Silly Putty.
57
00:02:59,767 --> 00:03:02,600
But the experience
did teach me a very important lesson.
58
00:03:02,767 --> 00:03:04,033
And you know what that was?
59
00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:07,600
If you get caught, stick to your story,
no matter how lame it is?
60
00:03:08,133 --> 00:03:11,633
- No, the lesson was...
- Hang on, Dad.
61
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:13,400
Okay, go ahead.
62
00:03:13,933 --> 00:03:15,867
The lesson was...
63
00:03:16,033 --> 00:03:19,367
Oh, God, Jake. That's...
That's awful.
64
00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:23,667
Yeah, I wish I could have saved
that one for school.
65
00:03:36,733 --> 00:03:38,500
- You too?
- Yeah.
66
00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:42,800
Apparently Mom wasn't
the only parasite at dinner tonight.
67
00:03:44,633 --> 00:03:46,133
Hey...
68
00:03:46,300 --> 00:03:49,433
...how much do you remember
about the whole Silly Putty incident?
69
00:03:49,633 --> 00:03:52,633
Oh, gee, not too much.
70
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:57,767
I recall you crying when they dragged
you into the store manager's office.
71
00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:01,300
Then I went and got a corn dog
and an Orange Julius.
72
00:04:03,700 --> 00:04:06,033
Boy, those were good.
73
00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,100
- Remember those?
- No, I mean...
74
00:04:08,267 --> 00:04:10,167
...did you see me take
the Silly Putty?
75
00:04:10,567 --> 00:04:14,200
Oh, no, no,
I was nowhere near the Silly Putty.
76
00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:18,233
I think I was in the doll section,
taking a peek under Barbie's dress.
77
00:04:18,833 --> 00:04:21,033
What a gyp that was.
78
00:04:21,267 --> 00:04:24,600
If Jake had been caught
shoplifting and told me the story I told...
79
00:04:24,767 --> 00:04:26,433
...there's no way I'd believe him.
80
00:04:27,133 --> 00:04:29,233
Well, let's just hope
he doesn't get caught.
81
00:04:30,467 --> 00:04:34,800
- Can I tell you a little secret?
- Okay.
82
00:04:34,967 --> 00:04:38,600
I always knew
it wasn't the security guard.
83
00:04:40,133 --> 00:04:41,767
Really?
84
00:04:43,567 --> 00:04:48,033
There's only one rational explanation
for how the Silly Putty got in my pants.
85
00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:53,633
And what would that be?
86
00:04:57,367 --> 00:05:04,100
That I actually stole it,
but my mind couldn't deal with it.
87
00:05:04,700 --> 00:05:07,800
So somehow, I blocked it out.
88
00:05:09,167 --> 00:05:11,833
The human brain, huh?
You gotta love it.
89
00:05:12,067 --> 00:05:14,400
That happens, right?
You do something horrible...
90
00:05:14,567 --> 00:05:17,733
...and wake up with no recollection?
- Oh, yeah.
91
00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:22,367
And yet there she is,
lying right next to you.
92
00:05:23,267 --> 00:05:25,567
You know, that day changed my life.
93
00:05:25,733 --> 00:05:28,600
I mean, ever since, I've had to be
on guard against Bad Alan.
94
00:05:29,333 --> 00:05:30,933
I'm sorry, "Bad Alan"?
95
00:05:32,067 --> 00:05:35,900
Yeah, it's... It's what I call
my potential for evildoing.
96
00:05:36,867 --> 00:05:39,233
- Oh, God.
- It's why I've always worked so hard...
97
00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:43,267
...to be a good son, a good student,
a good person.
98
00:05:43,467 --> 00:05:47,367
And you've succeeded.
You are good, good, good.
99
00:05:47,967 --> 00:05:52,233
Well, sure, I turned out great,
but at what cost?
100
00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:55,767
I mean, do you have any clue
how tightly wrapped I've had to be...
101
00:05:55,933 --> 00:05:58,633
...to keep Bad Alan in check?
102
00:06:02,133 --> 00:06:04,200
I get glimpses.
103
00:06:05,367 --> 00:06:07,933
Well, I suppose
I should count my blessings...
104
00:06:08,100 --> 00:06:10,867
...that I was stopped.
Who knows what kind of monster...
105
00:06:11,033 --> 00:06:13,933
...I would've become if I hadn't
been caught with the putty.
106
00:06:14,533 --> 00:06:18,200
But what if the security guard
did plant it on you?
107
00:06:18,367 --> 00:06:20,867
That would mean there's no Bad Alan.
108
00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:23,533
That's true.
109
00:06:23,700 --> 00:06:26,133
But I can't afford
to take that chance.
110
00:06:30,267 --> 00:06:32,600
None of us can.
111
00:06:41,733 --> 00:06:43,533
He's fine.
112
00:06:48,433 --> 00:06:50,200
Hey, Charlie.
113
00:06:50,833 --> 00:06:51,933
Hey, Rose.
114
00:06:53,333 --> 00:06:56,400
Looks like somebody needs
a shoulder to cry on.
115
00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:58,067
No, thank you.
116
00:06:58,467 --> 00:07:00,500
Wanna just make out then?
117
00:07:01,833 --> 00:07:05,500
- Rose...
- You're right. That was out of line.
118
00:07:05,667 --> 00:07:07,800
I deserve a spanking.
119
00:07:10,167 --> 00:07:11,700
Okay, what's up?
120
00:07:12,867 --> 00:07:15,233
- Can I trust you with something?
- You trust me...
121
00:07:15,367 --> 00:07:17,467
...with your bank account number.
122
00:07:18,467 --> 00:07:20,333
I never gave you
my bank account number.
123
00:07:20,567 --> 00:07:23,000
Right, right. Go on.
124
00:07:24,267 --> 00:07:27,533
Have you ever done anything
so wrong, so horrible...?
125
00:07:27,733 --> 00:07:29,900
Oh, yeah.
126
00:07:30,567 --> 00:07:32,900
- Let me finish.
- I'm sorry.
127
00:07:33,067 --> 00:07:35,333
Something that seemed
harmless at the time...
128
00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:38,600
...yet somehow managed
to mess up someone's entire life?
129
00:07:39,267 --> 00:07:41,133
Good question.
130
00:07:41,300 --> 00:07:45,300
I think it's too early to say. Go on.
131
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:47,467
Well, I have.
132
00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:51,033
Twenty-five years ago,
I put Silly Putty in my brother's pants.
133
00:07:51,267 --> 00:07:54,967
Well, if you left it in the egg,
it should still be good.
134
00:07:56,467 --> 00:07:59,233
My point is,
everybody thought he stole it...
135
00:07:59,433 --> 00:08:01,400
...and I never told him the truth.
136
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:03,167
Now you're wracked with guilt...
137
00:08:03,333 --> 00:08:06,800
...and not sure whether a confession
will make things better or worse.
138
00:08:06,967 --> 00:08:08,800
Yes, exactly.
139
00:08:09,433 --> 00:08:12,067
That's a sexy feeling, isn't it?
140
00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:14,500
Come on, Rose.
141
00:08:14,667 --> 00:08:16,100
You want my advice, Charlie?
142
00:08:16,333 --> 00:08:18,067
God help me, yes.
143
00:08:18,267 --> 00:08:20,400
Take your secret to the grave...
144
00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:23,533
...but leave a manuscript explaining
every questionable act...
145
00:08:23,700 --> 00:08:26,000
...you've committed
in a safety-deposit box...
146
00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:29,000
...with instructions for it to be opened
at your death...
147
00:08:29,167 --> 00:08:33,167
...and read in front of all your friends,
relatives and former lovers.
148
00:08:35,133 --> 00:08:37,200
I like it.
149
00:08:37,700 --> 00:08:39,100
Good.
150
00:08:39,967 --> 00:08:43,400
Now we can relax
and enjoy the evening.
151
00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:56,200
Sing it with me, Charlie.
152
00:09:07,067 --> 00:09:09,700
Three, four, five, six, seven.
153
00:09:09,867 --> 00:09:11,300
- Are you decent?
- Yeah.
154
00:09:11,467 --> 00:09:13,767
Three, four, five, six, seven.
155
00:09:15,300 --> 00:09:16,800
What's up?
156
00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:21,800
- Nothing. Just came in to say good night.
- Three, four, five, six, seven.
157
00:09:23,833 --> 00:09:24,933
Why?
158
00:09:25,100 --> 00:09:27,633
Three, four, five, six, seven.
159
00:09:28,667 --> 00:09:31,867
Nothing. You just seemed stressed out
before, and I was concerned.
160
00:09:32,067 --> 00:09:34,800
Oh, thanks. You're a...
You're a good brother.
161
00:09:34,967 --> 00:09:37,533
Three, four, five, six, seven.
162
00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:40,933
You do that every night?
163
00:09:41,100 --> 00:09:42,900
Are you kidding? After every meal.
164
00:09:43,067 --> 00:09:45,500
Three, four, five, six, seven.
165
00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:48,467
You are tightly wrapped, aren't you?
166
00:09:48,667 --> 00:09:51,867
The price of healthy gums
is eternal vigilance.
167
00:09:55,267 --> 00:09:58,200
Oh, God, I can't do this anymore.
168
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:02,500
- Do what?
- I have to tell you something.
169
00:10:03,133 --> 00:10:05,633
- Okay.
- Come on out in the bedroom.
170
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:07,467
All right.
171
00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:13,600
- What you doing?
- You'll understand in a minute.
172
00:10:13,767 --> 00:10:16,867
- I thought you had to tell me something.
- I do.
173
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:21,233
There is no Bad Alan.
174
00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:22,667
I stole the Silly Putty...
175
00:10:22,833 --> 00:10:25,367
...and put it in your pocket
when you weren't looking.
176
00:10:25,533 --> 00:10:29,733
- Three, four, five, six, seven.
- Damn you to hell!
177
00:10:30,233 --> 00:10:32,700
Come out here and die like a man!
178
00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:36,933
What do you know,
there is a Bad Alan.
179
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:43,800
Hey, Dad, when you got arrested
for shoplifting, did they take you to jail?
180
00:10:44,933 --> 00:10:48,467
I did not get arrested,
and there was no jail.
181
00:10:48,667 --> 00:10:52,267
So I guess you never had to shank a guy
to get your props in the yard.
182
00:10:54,233 --> 00:10:56,967
You cracked the parental code
on the cable box again.
183
00:10:57,467 --> 00:11:01,367
It's 1-2-3-4.
A monkey could crack that.
184
00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:09,200
- Good morning.
- Morning.
185
00:11:09,367 --> 00:11:10,867
Why are you walking like that?
186
00:11:11,067 --> 00:11:13,967
I spent the night in the bathroom.
187
00:11:14,367 --> 00:11:16,533
You too, huh?
188
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:21,933
Tell Jake what you told me
last night.
189
00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,200
Oh, okay. Sure.
190
00:11:25,367 --> 00:11:28,100
Jake, your father didn't steal
the Silly Putty.
191
00:11:28,267 --> 00:11:30,300
- I did.
- Really?
192
00:11:30,500 --> 00:11:33,400
Yeah, I stuck it in his pocket,
so if anything happened...
193
00:11:33,567 --> 00:11:35,933
...he'd be the one to get in trouble.
194
00:11:37,033 --> 00:11:38,867
What do you think now, Jake?
195
00:11:39,033 --> 00:11:41,233
I think Uncle Charlie's a genius.
196
00:11:41,967 --> 00:11:44,433
What? No, no. No genius. No, no.
197
00:11:44,833 --> 00:11:47,767
I mean, it's the perfect crime.
How did you think of that?
198
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:49,833
I don't know.
199
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:53,900
I saw the putty. Your dad was wearing
those dorky chinos with the big pockets.
200
00:11:54,067 --> 00:11:57,067
- And a light just went off in my head...
- Charlie.
201
00:11:57,900 --> 00:12:02,000
A bad light. A bad, evil light.
Because stealing is wrong...
202
00:12:02,167 --> 00:12:05,100
...and letting somebody else
take the blame for it is worse.
203
00:12:05,300 --> 00:12:08,100
Yeah, so Dad was like a decoy.
204
00:12:10,133 --> 00:12:12,300
Well, technically, the term is "mule."
205
00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:16,100
- Mule? Why?
- Because he carries stuff.
206
00:12:16,933 --> 00:12:20,133
- Oh, of course...
- Okay, okay.
207
00:12:20,300 --> 00:12:23,367
The important thing is,
your father never stole in his life.
208
00:12:23,533 --> 00:12:25,867
And your Uncle Charlie
is a thief and a coward.
209
00:12:26,067 --> 00:12:28,367
Yeah, but you're a mule.
210
00:12:30,533 --> 00:12:32,933
Are you happy?
Go get dressed and washed.
211
00:12:33,167 --> 00:12:36,633
- Can we go to the mall?
- Why do you wa...? No.
212
00:12:37,700 --> 00:12:40,200
I need to get a different mule.
213
00:12:41,767 --> 00:12:44,033
Okay, can we please get past this?
214
00:12:44,267 --> 00:12:45,767
No. No, we can't.
215
00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:51,000
I feel betrayed and hurt
in ways that I can't even express.
216
00:12:51,167 --> 00:12:53,333
And you think we can
just dance past that?
217
00:12:53,567 --> 00:12:55,500
I was hoping.
218
00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:57,867
Well, I am sorry,
but it is not that easy.
219
00:12:58,033 --> 00:13:02,433
I mean, thanks to you, my... My life
has been twisted beyond recognition.
220
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:04,800
I mean, look at me, Charlie.
221
00:13:04,967 --> 00:13:08,000
I'm a... I'm a broke, hopelessly neurotic,
middle-aged man...
222
00:13:08,167 --> 00:13:10,533
...who doesn't know who he is
or where he belongs.
223
00:13:10,700 --> 00:13:12,167
I have nothing, Charlie.
224
00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:16,333
- No... No wife, no home, nothing.
- Okay.
225
00:13:18,833 --> 00:13:21,067
So should I check back with you
after lunch?
226
00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:26,833
What do you want me to do?
227
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:29,600
I said I was sorry.
l... I confessed to Jake.
228
00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:33,600
And I doubt I got more than six,
seven hours sleep last night.
229
00:13:33,767 --> 00:13:35,967
Nothing you can do.
The damage has been done.
230
00:13:36,133 --> 00:13:39,000
- It can't be undone.
- Come on, I'm your brother.
231
00:13:39,233 --> 00:13:42,367
- You're gonna forgive. You always do.
- No, no, this is different.
232
00:13:42,533 --> 00:13:46,133
- This is the worst thing you've ever done.
- No, it's not.
233
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,367
What do you mean?
234
00:13:51,333 --> 00:13:54,833
Just making conversation.
235
00:13:58,233 --> 00:14:01,200
- Hey, Mom.
- Charlie, what are you doing here?
236
00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:05,500
- In the neighborhood. Thought I'd visit.
- Why?
237
00:14:07,467 --> 00:14:10,867
- I don't know. I'm your son.
- And...?
238
00:14:11,667 --> 00:14:15,067
- And I was hoping we could talk.
- About?
239
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:19,233
May I please just come in?
240
00:14:19,433 --> 00:14:21,933
Are you fleeing from the law?
241
00:14:22,900 --> 00:14:25,933
- I'm not fleeing from anyone, Mom.
- Well, keep it in mind.
242
00:14:26,100 --> 00:14:29,533
No one would ever think
to look for you at your mother's house.
243
00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:34,700
- I get your point. I don't visit enough.
- You don't visit at all.
244
00:14:35,433 --> 00:14:37,033
And I'm riddled with guilt.
245
00:14:37,467 --> 00:14:39,867
Oh, you're just saying that
to make me feel better.
246
00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:43,733
So, what's up?
247
00:14:43,900 --> 00:14:45,867
You know how the other night
at dinner...
248
00:14:46,033 --> 00:14:48,200
...we were talking about
the Silly Putty deal?
249
00:14:49,100 --> 00:14:51,800
Did that venison disagree with you?
250
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:54,600
Yeah, that's not
what I came to talk about.
251
00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:58,300
I've got a good mind
to sue that restaurant.
252
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:03,200
- Yeah, anyway, about the Silly Putty...
- What about it?
253
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:06,933
Alan didn't steal it. I did.
254
00:15:08,367 --> 00:15:10,600
I put it in his pocket.
255
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:14,267
You framed your baby brother?
256
00:15:16,167 --> 00:15:17,833
How could you?
257
00:15:18,033 --> 00:15:20,167
I know, I know.
It was a rotten thing to do.
258
00:15:20,367 --> 00:15:24,000
Rotten? It's unspeakable.
259
00:15:24,567 --> 00:15:27,800
Do you have any idea
what you put me through?
260
00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:32,267
- You?
- First the embarrassment...
261
00:15:32,433 --> 00:15:35,700
...of people thinking
that I'd spawned a petty thief.
262
00:15:35,933 --> 00:15:40,167
Then all the trouble I went to
trying to figure out clever ways...
263
00:15:40,333 --> 00:15:43,333
...to hide my jewelry
from his sticky little fingers.
264
00:15:43,567 --> 00:15:46,800
- That's really not what l...
- Not to mention the hundreds of hours...
265
00:15:46,967 --> 00:15:50,367
...spent driving him to therapy
with that creepy Dr. Demerest...
266
00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:56,400
...while I could have been...
I don't know, doing something fun.
267
00:15:57,567 --> 00:15:59,867
Okay, yeah,
it was a real imposition on you...
268
00:16:00,033 --> 00:16:03,967
...and as it turns out, it had
kind of a negative impact on Alan too.
269
00:16:04,167 --> 00:16:06,833
Alan? Oh, yes, of course.
270
00:16:08,700 --> 00:16:12,867
You know, there was no insurance
for kleptomania therapy in those days.
271
00:16:13,033 --> 00:16:15,700
It was all out of pocket.
272
00:16:17,133 --> 00:16:20,433
Yeah, but about Alan...
273
00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:24,400
...I was hoping you might have insight
as to how I could get him to forgive me.
274
00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:26,167
Why ask me?
275
00:16:27,100 --> 00:16:30,433
You know,
I'm starting to wonder that myself.
276
00:16:31,133 --> 00:16:33,133
I guess it's because he still loves you...
277
00:16:33,300 --> 00:16:36,100
...despite all the lousy stuff
you did to him.
278
00:16:36,567 --> 00:16:39,933
I beg your pardon?
I was a wonderful mother.
279
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:41,700
And if Alan thinks otherwise...
280
00:16:41,867 --> 00:16:47,067
...it's only because that walleyed
Dr. Demerest put ideas into his head.
281
00:16:47,467 --> 00:16:50,367
Well, that was money well spent.
282
00:16:52,300 --> 00:16:53,700
Okay, then.
283
00:16:53,867 --> 00:16:57,767
I didn't need a reason to drink tonight,
but it's nice to know I've got one.
284
00:16:58,767 --> 00:17:00,667
Hey, Charlie, wait.
285
00:17:01,067 --> 00:17:03,267
- What?
- Have you forgotten why you came here?
286
00:17:03,667 --> 00:17:05,167
You want forgiveness, right?
287
00:17:06,133 --> 00:17:09,300
- Yes.
- Well...
288
00:17:09,467 --> 00:17:11,433
...I forgive you.
289
00:17:18,267 --> 00:17:20,567
But next time, call first.
290
00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:33,833
Would you pass the salt?
291
00:17:37,767 --> 00:17:39,100
Could you get me the salt?
292
00:17:40,367 --> 00:17:43,100
- Dad, salt.
- Sure.
293
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:47,100
- Here.
- Thanks.
294
00:17:47,933 --> 00:17:50,400
Oh, would you give me
the ketchup, please?
295
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:53,067
Here. Here's the ketchup.
296
00:17:54,133 --> 00:17:55,600
Thank you.
297
00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:02,500
- Dad?
- Yeah.
298
00:18:03,033 --> 00:18:05,333
If Uncle Charlie
let you kick him in the nuts...
299
00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:07,133
...would that make you guys even?
300
00:18:07,700 --> 00:18:09,033
No.
301
00:18:09,900 --> 00:18:12,067
Boy, he's really mad at you.
302
00:18:12,833 --> 00:18:15,800
Relax, Jake. We're just having
a little communication problem.
303
00:18:16,333 --> 00:18:18,833
That's what Dad said
right before Mom threw him out.
304
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,133
Nobody threw me out.
305
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:23,300
Your mother and I mutually decided
that we weren't compatible.
306
00:18:23,500 --> 00:18:26,167
You don't seem compatible
with Uncle Charlie right now.
307
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:29,300
- Well, it's not my fault.
- Was it your fault with Mom?
308
00:18:30,133 --> 00:18:31,733
No.
309
00:18:33,900 --> 00:18:37,533
You know, Dad, maybe you're
the one who's not compatible.
310
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:41,333
If you're done with dinner,
do your homework.
311
00:18:41,767 --> 00:18:45,333
Fine, kill the messenger.
312
00:18:47,767 --> 00:18:50,067
- Oh, come on, Alan. Talk to me.
- No.
313
00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:54,200
Look, I wanna make this right,
but you gotta help me.
314
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:57,467
Please, tell me what I can do.
I'm begging for your forgiveness.
315
00:18:57,667 --> 00:18:59,367
I am sorry,
but you did something...
316
00:18:59,533 --> 00:19:03,767
...which affected my life
in a deeply destructive way and...
317
00:19:03,933 --> 00:19:06,267
l... I don't think I have it in me
to forgive you.
318
00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:10,433
- Hello? Anybody home?
- In here, Mom.
319
00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:15,133
Well, how are my boys
doing this evening?
320
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:24,700
Well, I think Mommy
has the answer. Alan...
321
00:19:24,867 --> 00:19:27,700
...if you find it intolerable
living under the same roof...
322
00:19:27,867 --> 00:19:29,733
...with the brother
who betrayed you...
323
00:19:32,467 --> 00:19:35,833
...then you and Jake
can come and live with me.
324
00:19:40,667 --> 00:19:42,467
We're good.
325
00:19:49,633 --> 00:19:52,067
Hey, Charlie, a couple of days ago...
326
00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:55,600
...you said the Silly Putty wasn't
the worst thing you ever did to me.
327
00:19:57,233 --> 00:19:58,933
It's ancient history. Let it go.
328
00:19:59,167 --> 00:20:01,900
I know, I know.
It's just... I'm curious.
329
00:20:02,067 --> 00:20:04,733
What else have you done to me
that I didn't know about?
330
00:20:04,900 --> 00:20:06,700
- It's not important.
- Yes, it is.
331
00:20:06,867 --> 00:20:08,967
The truth about
the shoplifting incident...
332
00:20:09,133 --> 00:20:11,200
...it's allowed me
to reevaluate who I am...
333
00:20:11,367 --> 00:20:13,367
...and... And feel better about myself.
334
00:20:13,833 --> 00:20:15,433
- Well, that's great.
- Yeah.
335
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,767
I feel a lot better since I confessed.
336
00:20:17,933 --> 00:20:19,933
Good, good.
So let's keep going with this.
337
00:20:20,967 --> 00:20:24,633
Okay, but you gotta promise that
no matter what I tell you, all is forgiven.
338
00:20:24,833 --> 00:20:27,100
Oh, absolutely, absolutely.
339
00:20:27,933 --> 00:20:29,967
You're probably gonna laugh.
340
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:33,633
- I'm sure I will. Tell me.
- Well...
341
00:20:33,967 --> 00:20:36,533
...remember how you were
a bed wetter till you were 8?
342
00:20:36,933 --> 00:20:38,400
Yeah.
343
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:43,500
You actually stopped at 6.
344
00:20:46,267 --> 00:20:50,200
Wha...? What...? What did you do?
Did you sneak into my room and...?
345
00:20:50,367 --> 00:20:52,867
And...? And pour warm water on me
while I was asleep?
346
00:20:54,033 --> 00:20:58,333
Yeah, okay, let's say it was water,
and let's say I poured it.
347
00:21:02,100 --> 00:21:04,633
Well, I feel better. How about you?
348
00:21:29,500 --> 00:21:31,567
Subtitles by
SDI Media Group
349
00:21:31,733 --> 00:21:33,833
[ENGLISH]
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