Original subtitles

* MTV. *

* *

JENNIFER: Okay, here we are.

I'm gonna beat you all in the long drive contest.

* Woke up feelin' fancy *

* Watch my feet go dancin' *

MAN: Tulsa King.

-JENNIFER: Yeah. -SYLVESTER: Hey, guys.

* Well, take a look at me now *

It's our last hurrah in L.A.

Sistine and I are taking a red-eye

directly to New York tonight.

I'm so happy to be going back to the city.

The energy, the people, the movement.

I am damn well excited about this.

* Yeah, yeah, I'm just doin' me. *

-Our little tribe is leaving. -(chuckles)

SISTINE: I know. The gang is breaking up.

Change is good. It's a new chapter.

I'm looking forward to my freedom--

going out, dancing, drinking,

working, twerking-- no, just kidding.

Lots and lots of dating.

-I haven't golfed in a long time. -JENNIFER: Oh, just stop,

-please. -Oh, right away with the excuses.

Oh.

Topped it.

SISTINE: Scarlet.

What's your trick to get the balls out?

SOPHIA: Mom!

Rip your hips.

Oh, yeah.

(loud clang)

JENNIFER: Oh, shit.

-Jesus. -Sorry, guys.

JENNIFER: They're all putting helmets on.

I actually taught him golf in the beginning.

I said-- after he finished playing polo--

"Hey, how about playing golf?" And he said,

"No, that's not a cool sport."

And I said, "Let's go to the driving range

and let's see how cool you are."

He couldn't hit a ball,

-and from that minute on... -I was hooked.

...he's been playing golf

for the last, what?

-It's true. -35 years?

We had our honeymoon on a golf course.

-That's so not romantic. -I was there.

* Talk to me, baby *

* I'm goin' blind from this sweet, sweet craving, whoa-oh *

* Let's lose our minds and go crazy, crazy *

* I-I-I-I-I *

* I-I-I-I-I. *

* *

Sophia, can you get the pink bag that's in the closet?

Moving to New York with Sophia

is exactly what we needed.

It just feels like such a reset, such a good, fresh start.

I couldn't be happier.

SOPHIA: Sistine, it's not in here.

It is, 'cause I just saw it, babes.

In L.A., Sophia and I lived

in the same apartment building, but not in the same unit.

Living with her now has been an adjustment.

I see moon boots.

Sophia, it's th-- I literally just saw it.

I am telling you right now. I don't see a pink bag.

-I see-- -SISTINE: It's on the shelf.

Sistine, you have ankle weights for some reason.

Not in the ankle weight one. It's the one next to that one.

Oh.

That was a different color pink.

(stammers) What is this?

This is my other toolkit.

If you make this worse, if we're actually gonna--

Sophia, I almost fell off the chair

because it was so wobbly.

I think we should just quit this

and get some frozen espresso martinis.

If there are perhaps men there.

I'm so excited to date again. That is my favorite pastime.

Dating in L.A. is so much harder.

The guys in New York, they're straightforward.

They go after you,

and they're not afraid to approach a girl,

which I really appreciate.

Don't you feel like you...

want to get back on the horse as well?

Oh, hell no.

I am in my summer of no men.

I'm still writing my book.

I'm excited to explore

and not be tied down to anything.

My mom and I had a little conversation about this,

and since then,

everything's just been really relaxing.

I'll just live vicariously through Sistine.

She's been out of the dating scene

for the last four centuries.

She needs to get out there,

fail, kiss, break up, makeup...

I text her constantly.

I'm always asking her how she's feeling about the guys.

I'm just so excited.

It's like my own little reality show in my apartment.

When we were single,

how many dates did we realistically go in L.A.?

-A lot. -You did.

I was home every night.

I got to get out there.

I want to have romantic kisses in the rain.

I want to get home at 2:00 in the morning.

I want to get dressed up.

I want to put on a push up bra.

I want to feel sexy. I want to do it all.

And I didn't do that.

And I'm freaking 25. I'm in my mid-20s.

I lost my mojo.

SOPHIA: Okay, so be Yes Man.

-Be like Jim Carrey in that one where he... -Maybe.

...where he just, you know, could not say no.

Are you gonna go on dating apps? Are you gonna go on,

-like, friend meetups-- -I'll go... I think,

like, I'll go on apps. That's the easiest way to do it.

It sounds like torture.

It only takes one to be the right guy.

-(chuckles softly) -Let's try it.

-(creaking) -Let's go.

I'm just a genius.

* I know my way, baby *

* Don't go too fast *

* Take it slow, take it slow... *

JENNIFER: Have you guys eaten here before?

STACEY: Yes. I love it.

I cannot believe this will be my last official lunch.

I didn't wear mascara because I didn't want to have to ugly cry.

I want to cheers to beautiful friendships

I've had with you guys.

-Thank you, guys. -We love you.

-We love you. -This is bittersweet.

Doesn't matter where you are, we will be there.

Thank you.

I love what you did in Palm Beach.

It was a house. You made it a home.

JENNIFER: I want to make it a little more sexy

and kind of go outside my box a little bit.

I think that-- that, like, the sex appeal.

I mean, I think all women, we all get to a certain age.

-You're not there yet, by the way. -But?

STACEY: We're all there.

I mean, all of us are over 50.

-(laughter) -JENNIFER: We're all there.

So the one problem I have

with leaving L.A. is

Sly's brother Frank is here alone.

Frank, he's like a brother to me and almost like

a fourth child to me.

We're there for him if he gets sick,

for the holidays...

What's this? Aw, thank you, girls.

JENNIFER: Sly isn't as excited as I am about moving to Florida

with Frank being in L.A. by himself.

So I want him to have somebody in his life

to grow older with.

He's already old, but like older with.

(laughs)

He doesn't have a girlfriend right now?

JENNIFER: He doesn't have a girlfriend.

He doesn't have a wife or even a dog.

KATHY: Okay, well, listen to this. I recently split up.

-What? -STACEY: Wh-what?

-Oh, I'm sorry. -I know.

No, no, no. it's good. It's good.

'Cause you're talking about Frank,

I'm thinking, I don't know, is there any...

do you think there's anything...? I know, I know.

-(laughing) -We're all...

We're all looking... All three of us are going....

You would be perfect.

I mean, you're kind of the whole package.

Do you like musicians?

-Yes. Uh, yes, yes, yes. -No way.

-And he's fit. -He's fit.

He's fit. Like Sly.

He exercises probably five days a week.

Why don't we do a double date?

-Oh. -JENNIFER: You, me,

Frank and Sly. We'll do an early dinner.

-Sounds like fun. -JENNIFER: No pressure.

I can't wait to call Frank and tell him

I've got the perfect gal for him.

Kathy, I've known her for years.

She is independent, hardworking.

There isn't anything Frank can go,

"Oh, she's not that smart.

"Oh, she doesn't have a great body.

Oh, she's not that pretty."

She has it all.

Frank has no idea that his whole future

is being determined at this lunch in Woodland Hills.

-That's the power of women. -(laughing)

-We get it done. -He's gonna love you.

* *

(knock at door)

-Hey, Jen. -Hey!

-Hi, honey. -Frankie, how are you?

-Hey, sweetheart. -Mwah. I think I found

the perfect date for Frank.

Now I have to convince him

that she is perfect for him.

You know, Frank, I know you have a lot of great friends...

-Yeah. -...and everything, but...

you know, we're leaving L.A.

and we've always been together

and we're nervous leaving you sort of here on your own.

-You haven't had the best luck keeping a girlfriend... -No.

...or having any type of long-term relationships.

I have a really nice girlfriend,

-age appropriate... -Okay.

...that's ready to settle down.

Someone that wants a long-term relationship.

I'm not really looking for anybody.

I mean, I'm not-- I mean, I've made it so far.

I think Sly and Jen were kind of thinking,

"One day you'll meet the right girl." It's like, "Eh."

Forty. "One day."

Fifty...

There's always like a plot.

I'm 73.

I think that train has left the building.

What do you have to lose? You've tried it your way...

-Yeah. -...for 100 years.

Now, why don't you just let me be in control a little bit...

-Okay. -...and let direct you 'cause I'm pretty good

-with relationships. -Yeah, you're good.

I worry about Frank because Sly and Frank had

a really difficult upbringing.

Their parents were married and divorced

dozens of times, so I just feel like

Frank is a little bit lost when it comes to

knowing what's really, really important in life.

Listen, I'm not gonna steer you wrong.

-She's not coming in a Hoveround, is she? -(laughing)

No, no. She's not on four wheels.

So, do you trust me?

Yeah, I'll trust you on it.

You know I have to like you to trust you on that,

-boy, because... -Yeah.

Normally I'd be like, like "Exit stage left."

I know. (laughs)

* *

Since moving to New York, I have made it my mission

to go out more.

My ideal type of guy is smart,

a good conversationalist, is funny,

and I go out on a date with a guy

every night of the week,

which is a lot.

I have been meeting

half of the guys through dating apps

and the other half has just been organically

walking down the street.

And I know people say

you shouldn't talk to strangers on the street,

but if he's tall and cute...

-Hello, hello. -SISTINE: Hi.

-Nicholas. Pleasure to meet you. -Sistine.

So good to meet you.

-I like your glasses. -Thank you very much.

Personally, if I could wear glasses, I would.

-Want to try them on? -Should I try them on?

-I wear nonprescription. So I'm a fraud. -Okay.

-(laughs) Oh, no. -I do, just for the look.

Okay. Oh, my God. You're blind.

(chuckles) They look great.

-I can't see-- Hi, thank you. -Hi.

-That's all right. -Not a problem.

I'll try the spicy Paloma.

-A glass of prosecco. -Sure.

-WAITRESS: Sure. -SISTINE: Thank you.

BOTH: Cheers.

Thanks for meeting me.

-You have to do eye contact. -Did I not?

No. That's seven years of bad sex.

What's another seven years, you know?

-I know, I have two left, so... -(laughs)

So call me in 2024.

-Hold on, you-- What? -What?

You're not getting sex from me in 2024.

-(both laugh) -Oh, my God.

I want to know more about your dating, though.

-So, I was in a relationship almost a year ago... -Okay.

...and then post-that, I started subletting...

Oh, were you living with your ex?

-For less than a month. -What?

-Yeah. -How-- I'm not gonna ask what happened, but...

-Okay. -Yeah.

SISTINE: My dad tells me

you'll know within the first five minutes

whether it's going to be a great date

or you're not into it,

and I knew within the first five seconds.

-Hi. -How are you?

Good. This is a cool spot.

Do you live around here?

Yeah, I live in, uh, the Bronx.

How long have you been on dating apps?

I, like, just got on 'cause, I, like,

broke things off with a girl I was

-seeing before, so... -Uh-oh.

You're ready to be back out there?

I'm sure you have a good reason for being late.

I had a, uh, nine-hour drive, so...

-Nine-- From where? -Ohio.

You drove from Ohio here?

Yep. I'm here now, so...

How long are you here for?

-I will be here for the weekend. -And then, you're driving back

-to Ohio? -Yeah, I'll drive back to Ohio.

SISTINE: I was a little bit shocked

that he said that he'd driven in from Ohio

for this date.

I'm flattered.

Thank you. But why?

I took a girl to this vineyard in Napa...

So it's almost like I'm part therapist or something...

...really worth the human element behind it.

In the end, you have to think...

...sometimes I'm just sitting there for hours

listening to them talk about different things.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know a little bit about that.

(slurping)

I like my space.

-So you don't need to... -Like, if anything, I'm kind of bad.

-So you'd rather be alone? -Yeah.

-Your nipple was out. -My nipple's not out.

-Almost. -Ooh! Oh, no.

All downhill from here.

-SISTINE: Okay, so what do you do? -I mostly do boxing.

I'm sure your father taught you, uh, how to throw a punch well.

It was actually every morning before school.

What's your zodiac sign?

-So, I'm a Cancer. -Oh.

-I'm a Virgo. -Oh, man, you're a Virgo?

All of my exes were Cancer men.

Who says that we're not compatible?

-Your psychic? -My sister.

And my dad.

JOSHUA: Now, if it's not too much to ask,

I'd love if you and your father could sign 'em.

Oh, um, y-- uh, yeah, yeah.

Sign a glove? Really?

I'm dating a fan of my dad's.

Again.

Jesus Christ.

Do you want to date me or Sly?

(overlapping chatter)

-(high-pitched ringing) -(heart beating)

* *

Yeah.

* *

-SISTINE: Hi. -God, how was it?

Oh, no. So...

I thought this was gonna be a good one.

SISTINE: I don't know.

I feel like I'm tired, Sophia.

-(stammers) -I feel like this pile of trash right now.

SOPHIA: Y-You've been on just...

a dating bender right now.

Dating with the last name "Stallone"

has never been easy.

I think it's hard to trust guys' intentions

going into it in the beginning.

You never really know if someone's dating you for you.

I mean, if-- in my perfect world, I'd love to go

into a situation when no one knew my name at all.

You know what's so annoying is when they kind of give away

one thing about them that you're just like, "I can't do it."

-I know, and they're so nice. -It's like...

SOPHIA: I have an idea, but I don't want you to kill me.

Hear me out.

There's a guy named Harrison,

and when we had our podcast,

he reached out and he said that you guys would be perfect

for his show called UpDating.

And it's a live dating show.

-Huh? It better be for you. -And I said...

SOPHIA: UpDating has

incredible possibility.

First off, you're all blindfolded, so you can't

judge someone on looks like a dating app.

Two, you have to actually have some

chat, banter and personality.

You can't just run on those pretty blue eyes.

And three, no one knows

that she's a Stallone, so they're just gonna

fall in love with her for her.

You go on three, basically,

two or three live blind dates on stage.

-What do you mean by l... -Like, live...

-...live? -Like, audience.

You're blindfolded, because they choose...

In front of an audience?

No, no, listen, listen.

This is so unexpected from her,

because this is something I would do to her.

SOPHIA: You get asked questions,

but then potentially, at the end of it,

you get a date.

There's no way. There's no way.

Are you insane?

I cannot believe it.

At this point, I'm thinking,

"No."

Is this already, like, a thing set up or is this an idea?

-I-It's kind... -Just tell me it's an idea.

It's kind of-- it's kind of set up, it's kind of set up,

because I told them that you'd be totally interested

-'cause you said you were a yes person. -Sophia.

-SISTINE: Are you... No! -Why?

-Because no. -Why? 'Cause you're a yes girl.

SISTINE: If I did this to Sophia,

there's no way she would do it.

In fact, she would scream at me so much

until I would have to step in to replace her.

Although, secretly,

I'm kind of excited because it's so random,

and how many times can I say I did a live blind dating show?

But I'll never tell her that.

* *

JENNIFER: Are you excited about...

the double date tonight?

-I'll give it 12 minutes. -Don't be so hopeful.

I'm just telling you. Maybe 11.

I have hopes because I would really love

to leave L.A. knowing he's got a partner.

And I think that'd be really nice for him.

Okay. I want you to be

super encouraging for this, okay?

And don't cut down your brother.

Don't make-- Don't tease him.

'Cause he'll get embarrassed. Don't tease him.

Promise.

So, Kathy, I'm super excited for you to meet Frank.

I think that you guys would really hit it off.

When was his last, like, relationship?

When was the last one that was, like...?

Oh, shit, Lincoln was in the White House.

-(laughing) -SYLVESTER: Mary Todd.

-FRANK: Hello, hello, hello. -Hey.

-Hi, Frankie. -Hey, babe.

How are you?

-Hello. Mwah. -Uh?

-Hi. -This is Kathy. This is Frank.

-Hey. -Hi.

Oh, hi, Kathy.

SYLVESTER: My brother Frank,

he had a rough childhood, so I don't think

he ever got the kind of love that was necessary.

So he became very, very independent.

He's so critical with his girlfriends.

I say, "Frank, just because she has seven toes,

"what's the big deal?

You know, you can get around that."

We're gonna hold our breath and cross our fingers

that he makes it through the meal,

if nothing else, to make Jennifer happy.

Well, cheers to new friendships.

-Yes, absolutely. -And new relationships.

-Yeah. -Jennifer.

You've been together forever.

-How lo-- -Thirty-two years.

-Thirty-five. -Thirty-six.

-You're not serious. -But she's 36.

Yeah, we met, we met, we met in '88.

So you were 12.

-(laughs) There you go. -She was four.

Yeah.

So I-I hear you only date younger women, though.

-So, what is that... what is that all about? -O... kay.

-That is not true. -What is that all about?

Did that come from Jennifer?

-I don't actually date. -(laughing)

-Oh, geez. -FRANK: You know what I think it is?

-What? -Personality.

-Well, look at you and Sly's age. -There we go, there we go.

I think women like to laugh and they like little offbeat humor.

-SYLVESTER: That's true. -He was always funny.

-Yeah. -So in other words,

-and you love to laugh. -I love to laugh.

You're like his best audience, so...

-Yeah, I love laughing. -Who's funnier?

-He kills me. -He kills it.

He is one of the funniest people I've ever met.

Like, when he tried to pull

my father's teeth out when he was sleeping,

I thought that was, that was really funny.

"Yo, where my teeth is?"

JENNIFER: You know what I love about this? You guys both

are into fitness and you both know about

fitness from, you know, 50 years ago

-and today. I mean, it's... -We could go back 100 years.

-A hundred? Come on. -My mother had this

ratty show on TV

in the 1950s called Barbella's,

where she actually lifted weights on the show.

It was a workout show?

-FRANK: Yeah. -SYLVESTER: Yeah.

-KATHY: Your mother? -FRANK: And my mother would do

incline with barbells.

You know, wearing the white short shorts

and the top, you know?

So we had like a bench and some barbells and dumbbells.

And I was getting pretty... I wasn't huge,

but I was in good shape.

Arms are like 15 and a half, 16,

-but they aren't... -You wish.

-They're like 12. -No, no.

Yes, they were.

No, mine got bigger.

That was your thigh.

-(laughter) -Wasn't your arm.

FRANK: So the object of the date

was to hook me up with someone.

By the time he's done fucking ragging on me,

no one wanted to ever be with me.

One of the great joys in my life

is to poke fun at my brother.

Trash-talking each other

keeps us young and vibrant.

JENNIFER: I'm really happy because you guys seem like

you are kind of having a great time.

Jennifer, stop getting into analysis.

Here we go. Thank you.

I think the date went really well.

I mean, they seemed to hit it off.

They had a lot in common,

so even if they don't work out romantically,

if nothing else, they can go work out together.

This was so much fun. I had the best time with you.

I mean, I feel better knowing that

somebody's here with Frank that can help him

and take care of him because he doesn't

ever do this.

So this is a great thing.

(laughing)

I don't get up as fast as I used to.

-How's your back? (laughs) -Oh...

My back is killing me.

-I'm nervous. -Since Sophia has committed me

to doing UpDating, I can't back out.

Make some noise for Sistine.

Last time I saw you, you were holding your back.

Now I have to have another back operation.

No.

JENNIFER: Sly going into surgery,

it's really scary

because the worst thing could happen.

* Come on now, roll with the crazy *

* Dance like 1980 *

* Ooh, ooh *

* Roll with the crazy *

* Dance like 1980 *

* *

* Roll with me, baby *

* You ain't gonna save me *

* Ooh, ooh. *

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org