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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,140 --> 00:00:03,960 You know, Blackie, I don't know. All I know is I'm about one step away from 2 00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:05,400 porching this place to cinders. 3 00:00:06,700 --> 00:00:10,480 Hey, you know, boss, I know business is slow and everything, but going into the 4 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:12,980 charcoal briquette business ain't gonna solve nothing. 5 00:00:14,340 --> 00:00:16,120 Blackie, look around. 6 00:00:17,540 --> 00:00:18,900 What the hell do you see, huh? 7 00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:23,320 Well, uh, you know, I've always wanted to fuck Dottie there, the bartender. 8 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:26,020 Aside from that, what do you see? 9 00:00:26,740 --> 00:00:29,100 I see a lot of empty chairs, a lot of overhead. 10 00:00:29,849 --> 00:00:33,970 Exactly my point. I mean, hell, I even got my old lady working just to make 11 00:00:33,970 --> 00:00:35,570 meet. So I heard. 12 00:00:35,890 --> 00:00:41,230 I heard she's a great palmist, or she gives great palm. Hey, she's a palmist. 13 00:00:41,590 --> 00:00:44,790 Eleanor is a palmist, all right? You get that through your thick head, all 14 00:00:44,790 --> 00:00:45,789 right, Blackie? 15 00:00:45,790 --> 00:00:47,770 Hey, boss, she's a palmist. 16 00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:52,090 You're going to meet a tall, dark stranger. 17 00:00:53,730 --> 00:00:56,170 Actually, I already have, but it was more of a money transaction. 18 00:00:56,670 --> 00:00:57,389 Oh, really? 19 00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:58,390 Well, tell me about it. 20 00:00:58,980 --> 00:01:03,620 Well, it was kind of simple, really. He just told me to reach, and I handed him 21 00:01:03,620 --> 00:01:04,620 my wallet. 22 00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:06,060 Let me see your palm. 23 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:07,440 I must have missed that. 24 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:09,920 Ah, I see. 25 00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:12,160 New opportunities are ripe. 26 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:15,720 That's good, because the old opportunities are rotten. 27 00:01:16,220 --> 00:01:17,220 You poor man. 28 00:01:19,020 --> 00:01:20,140 I lost my job. 29 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:23,440 Robbed at gunpoint, and you lost your job? 30 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,740 Yeah, I was a cul -de -sac designer. 31 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:27,080 Well, that's interesting. 32 00:01:28,780 --> 00:01:30,280 No, it's kind of a dead -end job. 33 00:01:31,140 --> 00:01:32,140 That's unfortunate. 34 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:33,960 What, the joke? 35 00:01:34,540 --> 00:01:38,820 Actually, speaking of dead -ends, I'd really like to find out more about my 36 00:01:38,820 --> 00:01:39,820 life. 37 00:01:40,380 --> 00:01:41,380 That's inappropriate. 38 00:01:41,860 --> 00:01:42,860 What do you mean? 39 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:50,340 Well, from the looks of things, I see that you spend a lot of time in the 40 00:01:50,340 --> 00:01:51,900 reading men's magazines. 41 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:54,460 And I'd do anything to change that situation. 42 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:58,480 I mean, I want to be a doer, not a reader. I want to be an achiever. I want 43 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:01,140 go out and find and meet that girl next door. 44 00:02:02,540 --> 00:02:07,400 Mr. Archer, let me give you some advice since obviously you don't have a clue. 45 00:02:08,740 --> 00:02:09,919 Look around you. 46 00:02:11,140 --> 00:02:15,900 The chances of finding the girl next door in this dump are about as good as 47 00:02:15,900 --> 00:02:18,120 finding a princess on a porno set. 48 00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:21,520 What's my alternative? 49 00:02:22,580 --> 00:02:23,580 Suicide. 50 00:02:24,300 --> 00:02:25,400 Or a mercy fuck. 51 00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,440 Do you read that in my poems? 52 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:30,580 No. That's an excerpt. 53 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:33,400 Ah. 54 00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:37,440 Mercy fuck? 55 00:02:37,540 --> 00:02:39,080 Mm -hmm. Or suicide? 56 00:02:39,900 --> 00:02:41,300 Mercy fuck, suicide. 57 00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:43,920 Maybe I can help you decide. 58 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:53,660 Ah. Ah. 59 00:05:14,220 --> 00:05:15,220 At least you're fine. 60 00:12:03,310 --> 00:12:05,710 Well, you know, the women in this town, they ain't stupid. 61 00:12:06,590 --> 00:12:08,870 They know this place has a bad reputation. 62 00:12:09,450 --> 00:12:13,170 Why? Because we haven't changed the bar from the porn studio it used to be? 63 00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:16,210 Come on, how narrow -minded can they be about fucking? 64 00:12:17,230 --> 00:12:21,030 They stay away because, you know, they think we're going to take their clothes 65 00:12:21,030 --> 00:12:22,030 off. 66 00:12:22,430 --> 00:12:23,430 Gee, I wonder why. 67 00:12:24,070 --> 00:12:27,330 Holy shit, get a look at them yams. 68 00:12:27,810 --> 00:12:29,330 Check out the outfit there. 69 00:12:29,810 --> 00:12:30,830 Straight out of Kansas. 70 00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:35,080 I'm not using such bright talk around this place. 71 00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:37,440 Can you help me find this gentleman? 72 00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:39,360 Movie producer, huh? 73 00:12:39,780 --> 00:12:42,180 Yeah, he wanted me to get a hold of him when I got into town. 74 00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:44,900 Well, you got the right town, but the wrong state. 75 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:49,440 Please don't tell me that. I'm flat busted and broke with no money to get 76 00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:50,440 to Indiana. 77 00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:51,500 Yo, Toro. 78 00:12:51,900 --> 00:12:52,900 Yo, Toro. 79 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:55,800 What do you want me to tell you, Toots, that you're going to come here and be a 80 00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:59,920 big Hollywood star, act one in a screenplay? It just don't happen like 81 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:04,700 Excuse me, Aunt Dottie, can I be of some assistance? 82 00:13:05,260 --> 00:13:09,360 Oh, sorry. We've got another one of those dames with bright lights and big 83 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:10,760 dreams clogging her noggin. 84 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:15,200 How you doing? 85 00:13:15,860 --> 00:13:17,620 I'm Thursby, owner of this establishment. 86 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:19,940 Is there anything I can do for you? 87 00:13:21,820 --> 00:13:26,140 Well, Mr. Thursby, I'm a long way from home. I'm cold, I'm tired, and I'm 88 00:13:26,140 --> 00:13:27,140 hungry. 89 00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:30,140 And let me guess, you're from Kansas, too, huh? 90 00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:31,880 Indiana, actually. 91 00:13:32,460 --> 00:13:34,620 Just as bad, missy, just as bad. 92 00:13:35,980 --> 00:13:38,440 The name's Jinx. Jinx Cunningham. 93 00:13:39,420 --> 00:13:40,420 Well, 94 00:13:40,980 --> 00:13:45,580 in that case, welcome to the town too tough to die, Jinx Cunningham. 95 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:48,080 Is that Gary, Indiana? 96 00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:50,500 No. 97 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:56,020 But if I was a Benton man, which I am, I'd bet you were from the sticks. 98 00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:58,000 Why do you say the sticks? 99 00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:00,340 Easy, your boots. 100 00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:02,550 What's wrong with my boots? 101 00:14:03,590 --> 00:14:07,870 Well, they don't exactly scream big city now, do they, Jinx? Come on. 102 00:14:08,570 --> 00:14:12,290 Hey, Blackie, why don't you go get Jinx some brandy or something? 103 00:14:13,270 --> 00:14:14,270 Where, boss? 104 00:14:16,170 --> 00:14:18,570 Where do you think we keep liquor in the bar? 105 00:14:19,370 --> 00:14:22,110 Move it. Okay, boss. Move it, move it. 106 00:14:24,990 --> 00:14:27,050 Now, where was I? 107 00:14:28,730 --> 00:14:29,810 Why don't you, uh... 108 00:14:30,140 --> 00:14:31,760 Put your foot right here on my lap. Why? 109 00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:36,200 Don't worry, I'll tell you why. I'll show you. Just put your foot here on my 110 00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:37,200 lap. 111 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:39,280 See? 112 00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:40,640 Cowboy boots. 113 00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:43,060 These are indigenous to Kansas and the Midwest. 114 00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:46,100 And those damn little horse jeans, whatever. 115 00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:48,020 It's Indiana. 116 00:19:27,340 --> 00:19:28,340 Oh, no. 117 00:21:51,850 --> 00:21:52,850 I'm home. 118 00:22:21,610 --> 00:22:22,610 Cool. 119 00:24:53,070 --> 00:24:54,070 What do you want? 120 00:26:24,810 --> 00:26:28,310 Sorry to bother you, boss, but you know who is coming you know where. 121 00:26:31,070 --> 00:26:32,690 Another one of your bimbos, Miles? 122 00:26:33,030 --> 00:26:34,650 Of course not, Eleanor. 123 00:26:34,910 --> 00:26:38,650 This young lady was just asking for directions to Kansas. 124 00:26:39,090 --> 00:26:40,090 Indiana. 125 00:26:40,710 --> 00:26:41,970 Kansas? Indiana? 126 00:26:42,550 --> 00:26:44,930 I wish you'd get your story straight, Miles. 127 00:26:45,210 --> 00:26:47,290 Look, I'm not fucking your husband. 128 00:26:47,570 --> 00:26:48,610 Oh, yeah, I'm sure. 129 00:26:49,530 --> 00:26:52,530 But be that as it may, Miles, this is Mr. 130 00:26:52,730 --> 00:26:53,730 Archer. 131 00:26:53,790 --> 00:26:55,550 Pleased to meet you, dear. Mr. 132 00:26:56,890 --> 00:26:58,410 Archer's out of a job, Miles. 133 00:26:59,410 --> 00:27:01,250 Well, you know, times is tough. 134 00:27:02,290 --> 00:27:04,830 You said you'd help me get the girl of my dreams. 135 00:27:05,110 --> 00:27:06,110 Shut up. 136 00:27:06,830 --> 00:27:09,150 I want you to put him on the payroll, darling. 137 00:27:10,010 --> 00:27:13,130 Now, sweetheart, hiring him is what? 138 00:27:14,430 --> 00:27:16,230 You promised, and I want her. 139 00:27:16,630 --> 00:27:17,970 I said shut up. 140 00:27:19,490 --> 00:27:21,130 Be creative, darling. 141 00:27:22,120 --> 00:27:24,060 It may keep you out of divorce court. 142 00:27:27,980 --> 00:27:29,380 Hi, my name's Archie. 143 00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:32,100 Archie like the comic strip? 144 00:27:34,260 --> 00:27:38,140 I'm sorry, Mr. Thursby. I had no idea that this would happen. 145 00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:40,460 Yeah, yeah, I gotcha. 146 00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:43,300 Question is, now, what the hell am I going to do with you? 147 00:27:43,860 --> 00:27:46,940 You know, maybe I should put him on the car trunk detail. 148 00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:50,240 Shut up. 149 00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:59,880 You know, boss, this is so beautiful I could cry. 150 00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:04,240 Well, hold your tears until after Bubbles' performance, please. 151 00:28:04,820 --> 00:28:07,200 She won't let you down, boss. Yeah, well, she better not. 152 00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,420 Bubbles! Hey, we're ready. You're close up there. 153 00:28:12,060 --> 00:28:14,840 I swear to God, Blackie, I'm going to murder you for this one. 154 00:28:15,060 --> 00:28:17,640 Hey, it's okay, baby. It's okay. You look fabulous. 155 00:28:18,220 --> 00:28:19,220 We're going to make this. 156 00:28:21,780 --> 00:28:22,780 Eleanor! 157 00:28:22,900 --> 00:28:26,000 I don't know how I let you talk me into this. 158 00:28:26,460 --> 00:28:27,900 Oh, it's pretty easy, baby. 159 00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:31,760 You know, in divorce court, half of nothing, nothing. 160 00:28:32,660 --> 00:28:34,720 But see, this movie is going to make us a shit pop. 161 00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:37,000 Where's our extras? 162 00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:38,520 Oh, kids! 163 00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:43,600 Get these people on today. All right, there you are. 164 00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:46,580 Now, basically, it's pretty easy. This is what's going to happen here. You guys 165 00:28:46,580 --> 00:28:48,460 are going to need some bystanders, all right? You're going to be all 166 00:28:48,460 --> 00:28:52,500 dumbstricken when Eleanor and Bubbles here discover the joy of lesbian love. 167 00:28:53,180 --> 00:28:54,820 Where do they discover that, Mr. Thursby? 168 00:28:56,649 --> 00:28:58,590 On the couch like everybody else. 169 00:29:00,770 --> 00:29:02,930 All right, come on. Places, everyone. Let's go. 170 00:29:03,210 --> 00:29:04,650 Where do we stand, Mr. Thursby? 171 00:29:05,810 --> 00:29:09,190 I don't know. Go stand up in a corner and do what you do, okay? Go. 172 00:29:12,290 --> 00:29:13,290 All right. 173 00:29:14,190 --> 00:29:15,190 Everyone ready? 174 00:29:15,930 --> 00:29:17,590 Places and action. 175 00:29:18,830 --> 00:29:19,830 Roll them. 176 00:29:27,820 --> 00:29:28,820 You said roll them. 177 00:29:29,980 --> 00:29:30,980 I mean, yeah. 178 00:29:31,500 --> 00:29:35,500 I said roll them, not roll them, you asshole. 179 00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:39,880 All right, boy. Get out of here. Get off my set, okay? 180 00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:42,560 Obviously, we got some more rehearsing to do. 181 00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:44,520 Please continue. 182 00:34:40,830 --> 00:34:41,830 All right. 183 00:38:25,100 --> 00:38:26,100 It's just Anne. 184 00:38:26,980 --> 00:38:28,580 What I meant to say was... Shh. 185 00:38:29,180 --> 00:38:31,600 We're supposed to be stand -on lickers, don't you remember? 186 00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:33,080 Yeah. 187 00:42:42,990 --> 00:42:46,410 You know, I had to send Bubbles home early, but I just had to tell you, you 188 00:42:46,410 --> 00:42:47,410 fucking terrific. 189 00:42:47,550 --> 00:42:48,408 Thanks, honey. 190 00:42:48,410 --> 00:42:49,410 Now get out of here. 191 00:42:50,430 --> 00:42:52,610 Hey, boss, we got a problem. 192 00:42:53,070 --> 00:42:54,470 Actually, we got two problems. 193 00:42:54,710 --> 00:42:55,710 One now, Blackie. 194 00:42:56,110 --> 00:43:00,330 You see the guy, the male talent guy, you know, he can't make it because he's 195 00:43:00,330 --> 00:43:02,630 got, like, hives on his balls or something. 196 00:43:04,270 --> 00:43:07,750 So that leaves, um... Guess what? 197 00:43:10,830 --> 00:43:12,590 Sorry for my friend. You get to do the scene. 198 00:43:12,970 --> 00:43:15,570 Hey, wait, no. Hey, yo, yo, hey, yo, boss. 199 00:43:15,890 --> 00:43:16,890 I can't do that. 200 00:43:17,650 --> 00:43:18,609 Tell me why. 201 00:43:18,610 --> 00:43:21,670 Well, you know, because it's like Connie's scene, you know, and she won't 202 00:43:21,670 --> 00:43:27,190 me in front of the camera because, you know, unless she gets royalties and, you 203 00:43:27,190 --> 00:43:29,250 know, boxes. No, no, no, no. Fuck that. 204 00:43:30,330 --> 00:43:33,530 Huh. Well, what about the Archie Jughead guy? 205 00:43:34,410 --> 00:43:36,530 No, no, forget him. What's the other problem? 206 00:43:37,390 --> 00:43:40,250 Well, you see the girl, the other girl didn't show up because... 207 00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:44,300 It's something about being a vampire and can't be out in the daytime. 208 00:43:46,320 --> 00:43:47,560 So what does that leave us with? 209 00:43:48,660 --> 00:43:49,660 Well, there's jinx. 210 00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:52,920 You know, 211 00:43:53,760 --> 00:43:56,980 pretty good, you know, goody -two -shoes blonde taking her clothes off. I'd like 212 00:43:56,980 --> 00:43:57,980 to see that. 213 00:43:58,400 --> 00:43:59,860 I'm ready for my scene, Blackie. 214 00:44:02,730 --> 00:44:04,850 That wasn't in the script. That wasn't in the script. 215 00:44:05,110 --> 00:44:08,450 You get out. You get out of here. Yo, Jughead, take a hike, okay? That wasn't 216 00:44:08,450 --> 00:44:13,230 the script. You get trunk detail, man. All right, ladies. 217 00:44:14,190 --> 00:44:17,830 Not too much explaining to do here. You two know what to do. I'm going to be up 218 00:44:17,830 --> 00:44:20,170 in the booth and have fun. 219 00:44:21,010 --> 00:44:22,010 Oh, we will. 220 00:45:10,290 --> 00:45:14,790 I'm going to get out. 221 00:46:10,780 --> 00:46:11,780 Thank you. 222 00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:50,800 Oh yeah! 223 00:52:02,060 --> 00:52:03,060 Yeah. 224 00:53:45,610 --> 00:53:46,610 Mmm. 225 00:57:35,660 --> 00:57:39,160 Mr. Thursby was kind enough to get me a bus ticket back to Indiana. 226 00:57:40,300 --> 00:57:42,520 Sorry to disappoint you, but this is to Kansas. 227 00:57:43,700 --> 00:57:45,200 Oh, no. What do I do now? 228 00:57:46,020 --> 00:57:47,020 It's fake. 229 00:57:47,280 --> 00:57:48,460 See, Jinx? 230 00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:50,000 It's your birthday. 231 00:57:50,140 --> 00:57:51,360 It's written in the palm of my hand. 232 00:57:51,880 --> 00:57:54,100 It's funny. All I smell is palm oil. 233 00:57:55,200 --> 00:57:56,420 I'm just a hopeless romantic. 234 00:57:57,220 --> 00:57:58,260 Hopeless is the word. 235 00:57:59,420 --> 00:58:01,080 I'm just a hopeless romantic, Jinx. 236 00:58:01,960 --> 00:58:03,840 I want to settle down and raise a family. 237 00:58:04,360 --> 00:58:06,600 Hear the sounds of little feet pitter -pattering around. 238 00:58:07,380 --> 00:58:09,220 Boy, are you in the wrong video. 239 00:58:10,420 --> 00:58:11,560 What do you say, Jinx? 240 00:58:11,860 --> 00:58:15,180 You and me, a house with a white picket fence? 241 00:58:15,600 --> 00:58:19,320 You're better off with a pink pickled pecker. A puckled picker? 242 00:58:19,720 --> 00:58:21,140 A speckled packer? 243 00:58:24,540 --> 00:58:26,560 Why don't you two demonstrate? 244 00:59:40,490 --> 00:59:41,490 Oh my God. 245 01:03:15,350 --> 01:03:18,150 Yeah. Yeah. 246 01:03:56,690 --> 01:04:01,570 Ouch. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 247 01:04:22,920 --> 01:04:23,940 Oh. 248 01:08:56,490 --> 01:08:57,490 So good. 249 01:10:02,760 --> 01:10:04,760 I did find my princess in a porn studio. 250 01:10:07,140 --> 01:10:08,280 The girl next door. 251 01:10:08,920 --> 01:10:10,840 And I'm about to ask her to be my bride. 252 01:10:11,800 --> 01:10:12,980 R .C., what time is it? 253 01:10:14,840 --> 01:10:15,840 10 .45. 254 01:10:17,060 --> 01:10:18,100 I've got a bus to catch. 255 01:10:19,460 --> 01:10:21,780 But... You've been really sweet. 256 01:10:23,220 --> 01:10:26,880 But... By the way, I was reading your palm when we were having sex. 257 01:10:27,180 --> 01:10:30,200 Yeah? You're doomed to die a miserable, loveless failure. 258 01:10:30,990 --> 01:10:32,170 But don't take it personally. 18204

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