All language subtitles for Star Virgin

At the end of time, on a planet in a
distant galaxy, an event is about to

place that may be the most significant
in the history of mankind.

His greed, his treachery, his passion
for war has long caused man to be

of as extinct.

Yet a single human being survives.

The fate of humanity lies in the hands
of a girl child who has been preserved

a curiosity by an all -powerful race of
thinking machines.

You are about to witness the birth of
the Star Virgin.

XR31. I am Mentor. My function is to
maintain your biological system.

Why am I wearing this covering?

Because you are a messy biological
organism and your erogenous zones are

on this planet.

totally incompetent, inefficient,
deceitful, lewd, and cruel.

That is why they were discontinued.

All of them?

Negative.

Obviously, you are the exception.

But Mr. Mentor, where do I come from if
I'm the only one?

Just call me Mentor, if you please.

You were manufactured in a photoplasmic
duplicator, first developed by Xerox.

the messiah of machine intelligence.

Xerox can now duplicate anything in the
multi -universe, still for only three

cents a copy.

Did I really come out of here?

Dear, dear, you are so messy. I can see
it all now, day and night, cleaning up

after you.

Affirmative. That is the Photoflasmic
Duplicator. You are a test tube, baby.

Were my ancestors test tube babies, too?

Unfortunately not.

They were manufactured by a repulsive
and now completely obsolete activity

called sex.

Sex? What's sex?

I am not programmed to answer that
question.

Oh, please, Central. Teach me about sex.
What you ask is disgusting and

depraved. How about four -dimensional
trigonometry?

Intergalactic languages.

Can it?

All right, stop your whimpering.

You succeed.

I am backing into my memory bank.

Oh, blimey, that was a very near thing.
I forgot what the jumble of loose

connection human sexual function was.

Well, here it is.

Sex began in 1950 at Monroe High School.

Hey, baby.

Wanna go for a ride?

Come on, let's go for a ride.

Adam, you know my daddy doesn't like me
riding with you.

Ah, come on, get in the car.

Promise you're not going to take me drag
racing?

I don't know, come on. You've got to
promise.

I promise.

Hey,

what do you say we go for a soda pop or
something, huh, baby?

No, I don't want to go for a soda.

I've heard of a really neat place to go
parking.

Park in a car like this? What, are you
kidding me?

Sure, why not?

I know you want to go.

But hey, if you don't tell the boys
about it.

Aw, come on.

Ah, you got it. All right.

This isn't this anyway, huh?

I don't know. My friend Mary Lou said
she had a real good time here.

Yeah, well, you better not tell any of
the guys I came to this dumb place.

Come on, I'm not going to tell.

Welcome to the Garden of Eden.

One dollar please.

Thank you very much.

You know,

it took me a week to get my hair this
way.

Well, now what do we do, huh?

Suck your thumb, dummy.

Who's calling me a dummy, huh?

Pull off, pal.

Oh, Adam, look.

That's better.

Just relax.

You're going to be the stars of the
whole show.

That ain't no snake.

That's some kind of creep.

Oh, Adam, you're spoiling all the fun.
This is an amusement park. We're

to go along with the show.

You got it, sweet cake.

Come over here and have a fruit.

The man at the gate said we weren't
supposed to touch anything.

Don't worry about him.

He don't know nothing. He started
working here yesterday. Not that one.

That one.

What a strange fruit.

Don't stare at it.

Suck it.

Come on, Adam. It tastes so good.

If you're scared, I'll take a bite with
you.

Scared? What, are you joking?

Kid stuff.

Adam, it's all over me.

Well then, take it off, doll.

Hey, Snake Eyes is right. Take it off.

There ain't nobody around.

Hey, besides, this could be some fun.

Know what I mean?

Don't be such a klutz, big boy.

Take your time.

Gotta warm him up first.

Yeah?

Take that can of peaches over there and
pour it all over him.

I love peaches.

That's my boy.

Keep it coming.

Oh, this is better than study hall.

Oh, Eve, you're so good.

You're good.

Oh, baby.

Oh, baby.

Oh,

baby.

So glad you didn't go to mass.

Hey, the guy's better not hear nothing
about this.

Don't worry. I'm not going to tell
anybody.

Okay, Adam.

Let's get this show on the road.

Slide that banana into a snatch.

Don't you love bananas?

Oh, yeah.

Okay, boy.

Down on your knees and eat it.

Mmm.

Where's my comb?

I must have lost it.

Oh, baby.

Oh.

Excuse me, kids.

This is the park manager.

We seem to have a little problem.

Give me that fucking mic.

This is Captain Gabriel of the Vice
Squad.

You creeps are out of line and this park
is closed.

You've got five minutes to cover up and
get out of here.

You'll make me sick.

This is my goddamn hair.

When that extension between Adam's eggs
was inserted into a female of your

species, a small person was created.

But who was that strange creature in the
tree?

According to ancient religious theory,
that was the devil.

Your species believed that the devil
made them enjoy sex.

Oh, mentor, I want to hear more about
the devil.

One more and that's it.

Oh, mentor, please.

Just this one more time.

Somehow you have the capacity to twist
me around your smallest digit.

All right.

Stop your nagging. You win.

The devil took many different disguises
and a great deal of delight in

corrupting your species.

Thank you.

chicken. How am I supposed to continue
my designated function when I am

screaming loose for you all day?

Mentor, what was that girl complaining
about? What did she mean by car?

What? What? That's all I ever do.

It does not confuse the way you
adulterate your fuel with that

addition. You should try some on one of
your uranium capsules. You could like

it.

My responding to these asinine inquiries
is beyond my comprehension.

I seem to prove to find coming as an
overload of sexual excitement.

Oh, that must have been so much fun.

Was it really the devil who made it all
happen?

Not necessarily.

Often, children can dispute violent
spectacles for the sole purpose of

their sexual emotions.

With the score of 30 to 35, this is
going to be an important series of downs

the Dayton Plowboys.

They're coming through the line.

running for it. He's across the 30.

He's over the 40.

God, what a run!

Hit him high, hit him low, hit him where
they're gonna go!

Woo! Woo!

Woo!

Woo!

Christ sakes, Nancy, what are you trying
to do, get a shaft in?

Cowboy coach Matt House is running out
onto the field.

Well, you can't blame him, folks.

If he loses this game, his job is on the
line.

What can we do? You know we're not
supposed to mess around with the

Lucy, this is an emergency. You don't
understand.

Come on.

Sons of bitches. Come on, boy.

Goddamn, wake up. Come on.

Snap out of it, sucker.

Christ, this ain't no college game. This
is a real thing. If we lose this one,

we're going to get fired. That means you
too.

Goddamn. I want you out on that field.

I want you out in that field, and I want
you to be hostile.

I want you out there. I want you agile.

Hostile, you understand?

God damn.

Christ.

I gotta be the only goddamn son of a
bitch in America who ain't watching that

game. I busted my guts to make a star
out of you, and what do I get?

You know what you are, boy?

You're a quitter.

A loser.

Better get to work.

There's not a second to lose.

Sure is out cold.

Why don't you try some smelling salt?

No, it's mean.

Oh, this should bring him to.

How do you feel?

How do you like that?

Feels pretty good, huh?

Getting nice and hot.

That should revive you real good.

Like that, huh?

Okay, honey, do it to him. I think
you're ready.

That doesn't revive him. I can think of
other things.

It's working. Keep on doing that.

I'm going to work on this big boy down
on this end.

They really make sure these players are
chaste, don't they?

Ooh, look at this.

All right.

Ooh, here's a cute one.

Tastes as good as it looks, too.

That was every bit as good as I thought
he was going to be. Good condition.

That's good liquor, isn't it?

Baby.

Give myself a dose of this stuff.

Oh, he's gone like this.

Okay, honey.

What a big one.

Oh, you should feel what you're missing.

Boy, he's needed out on that field. He
better come, too.

I think he's reviving.

Right. Come on, honey.

No. Where am I?

What's that game I hear?

It's the L .A. Hams versus the Dayton
Plowboys with the Super Bowl.

I know it can't be. I'm in that game.

Hey, honey, with a little bit more
tender loving care from the Dayton

cheerleaders, you'll be all ready for
the game. Come on, honey. Show it to me.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, shove it deep.

One minute. Give me some of that stuff.

Oh. Good.

Ooh.

Yeah, starstruck. You look good.

Ooh, you look nice.

Yeah, look at that hand motion.

Feel good?

Just can't wait to get that hot frogman
thing inside someone, can you?

Come on.

Suck, baby.

I've got to get out of here.

It's a come and run, girl.

Team needs it.

Well,

it looks like it's all over for the
Plowboys.

The Hams have the ball at the 15 -yard
line, and another touchdown will push

this game out of reach for the Plowboys.

The Hams are coming to the line.

There's the snap. It's a handoff to T
.P. Odeon. He's hit at the line of

scrimmage, but the ball's loose.

They're fighting for it.

He's digging the ball out now. The
Plowboys have recovered the football.

Incredible.

Starstruck is running back onto the
field.

Folks, this is a miracle for the Dayton
Plowboys.

It's going to be a tough assignment for
Starstruck, though.

He's got 85 yards to go for a touchdown
and 15 seconds of play left in this

football game.

Big play for the Plowboys, folks.

There's no tomorrow on this one.

Plowboys are coming to the line.

Starstruck takes the snap. He's fading
back.

The hands are thundering down on him.
He's fading to the left. Starstruck gets

the pass away.

He's over to the 40, the 30.

Super Bowl for the history books.

As long as there's football, Starstruck
will be remembered for his fantastic

coverage. How did he do it?

No man.

I knew it.

All this input has excited your sexual
circuits.

Oh dear, now I'll be disconnected for
certain.

You are turning me into a mechanical
masturbator.

All right, you hot little slut.

You want something really dirty?

Something that will really make your
pussy gushy? Check this out.

Pussy.

Pussy!

One, two.

Like another beer?

Yeah, bring me another beer.

You enjoying yourself, sir?

You bet.

She sure has a hot pussy, doesn't she?

Yeah, real sissy, man.

Hey, listen, if you want to get a little
hotter, I know a place where you can go

and do that.

What goes on in there? I can't tell you
the details now, but something you

wouldn't regret.

How much?

It's $100.

If you give me everything, I do need
everything.

Welcome to the world's famous ecstasy
club.

This way.

Make yourself comfortable.

Now you notice there's a vibrator right
beside you for each and

every one of you.

You gonna use this on me?

You just check them out.

Better be worth it for a hundred bucks.

Is this one broken?

Now we're going to get nasty.

Now, all of us have to drop the pants so
that we can get ready for the girls.

Get hard.

That's right.

My zipper is stuck.

Can you help? Do this in the brass.

Pull them down.

We can get all prepared.

That's right.

Where do I put my fountain pen?

Ah, yes.

Wonderful.

What beautiful cut.

Yes.

I wouldn't mind getting a little jab
myself.

It's not a small one.

Always coming.

Let me know if you want a bigger one,
honey.

Um...

Thank you.

um um

Huh. Huh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

you

Gentlemen, gentlemen, I regret to inform
you, the show is over.

seconds to get your shit together or you
will be disconnected.

returning man to the stars from which he
was born?

Or is this Big Bang the rebirth of
mankind, returning him to his rightful

as Lord of the Universe?

Are we all, then, children of the girl
known as Star Virgin?