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1
00:00:14,311 --> 00:00:15,311
Come on, buddy.
2
00:00:15,345 --> 00:00:17,279
It doesn't have to end badly.
3
00:00:17,314 --> 00:00:19,515
Just trying to get you out safe.
4
00:00:22,219 --> 00:00:23,519
Ah...
5
00:00:25,489 --> 00:00:27,523
Are you still trying to catch that fly?
6
00:00:27,557 --> 00:00:29,058
Just kill it.
7
00:00:29,092 --> 00:00:31,060
Flies carry deadly diseases.
8
00:00:31,094 --> 00:00:32,728
Why do you think there's
a "no-fly zone"
9
00:00:32,763 --> 00:00:33,729
over the White House?
10
00:00:33,764 --> 00:00:34,764
I can't kill it.
11
00:00:34,798 --> 00:00:36,365
It's the one thing I've got.
12
00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:37,900
Nobody else in high school
13
00:00:37,934 --> 00:00:39,402
lived up to their potential.
14
00:00:39,436 --> 00:00:41,137
Kevin Kinlan, voted
"Most likely to succeed"?
15
00:00:41,171 --> 00:00:42,972
In prison for embezzlement.
16
00:00:43,006 --> 00:00:44,607
John Zachary, voted "Most athletic"?
17
00:00:44,641 --> 00:00:46,175
Now he weighs 400 pounds.
18
00:00:46,209 --> 00:00:48,377
He hasn't seen his feet or
his penis since the '90s.
19
00:00:48,412 --> 00:00:51,147
I was the guy voted
"Least likely to hurt a fly."
20
00:00:51,181 --> 00:00:52,915
I'm not going to blow it
21
00:00:52,949 --> 00:00:55,718
and wind up like
the rest of those losers.
22
00:00:55,752 --> 00:00:58,954
Oh, and those awards mean so much.
23
00:00:58,989 --> 00:01:01,257
I was voted "Most sarcastic."
24
00:01:01,291 --> 00:01:03,125
Those geniuses really nailed that one.
25
00:01:04,828 --> 00:01:05,828
I got him!
26
00:01:05,862 --> 00:01:07,663
Virginia, I got him!
27
00:01:08,699 --> 00:01:09,799
Go home.
28
00:01:09,833 --> 00:01:11,767
Hug your wife and kiss your maggots.
29
00:01:11,802 --> 00:01:13,302
Today you live!
30
00:01:15,138 --> 00:01:16,772
No!
31
00:01:16,807 --> 00:01:18,240
Wow.
32
00:01:18,275 --> 00:01:21,377
That is gonna be a slow, slow death.
33
00:01:22,412 --> 00:01:24,547
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
34
00:01:24,581 --> 00:01:26,015
♪ Here we go ♪
35
00:01:26,049 --> 00:01:29,085
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! ♪
36
00:01:36,426 --> 00:01:38,094
Wait, wait, wait! Don't!
37
00:01:38,128 --> 00:01:40,429
- Hey, don't...
- Oh...
38
00:01:44,768 --> 00:01:46,068
Who is she?!
39
00:01:46,103 --> 00:01:47,236
Who is who?!
40
00:01:47,270 --> 00:01:49,205
And where did you get that golf club?
41
00:01:49,239 --> 00:01:50,573
- We don't even golf!
- I got it
42
00:01:50,607 --> 00:01:52,374
- in case you ever Tiger Woods'd me.
- No,
43
00:01:52,409 --> 00:01:53,509
I was sleepwalking, all right?
44
00:01:53,543 --> 00:01:54,910
I used to sleepwalk as a kid
45
00:01:54,945 --> 00:01:56,645
when-when I slept
in strange places,
46
00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:58,948
and now it's-it's
happening again.
47
00:02:23,673 --> 00:02:24,807
Oh, Jimmy, that's terrible.
48
00:02:24,841 --> 00:02:26,509
We got to figure out how to fix this.
49
00:02:26,543 --> 00:02:28,010
What did your parents do?
50
00:02:28,044 --> 00:02:29,145
Well, they got me a dog collar
51
00:02:29,179 --> 00:02:30,913
and they put all my information
on the tag.
52
00:02:30,947 --> 00:02:33,082
Of course they did. The store
must have been out of leeches.
53
00:02:33,116 --> 00:02:35,184
No, no, we got all our leeches
from a guy my dad knows,
54
00:02:35,218 --> 00:02:36,986
and I'm pretty sure
they only work on chicken pox.
55
00:02:46,496 --> 00:02:48,030
Oh.
56
00:02:48,064 --> 00:02:49,565
The door to the microwave broke.
57
00:02:49,599 --> 00:02:50,933
Here.
58
00:02:50,967 --> 00:02:53,669
Oh. I think we need to
buy a new microwave.
59
00:02:53,703 --> 00:02:55,104
No, no. It's okay.
I think I have
60
00:02:55,138 --> 00:02:56,472
a microwave in all my stuff.
61
00:02:56,506 --> 00:02:57,706
It doesn't work,
but the door's still on.
62
00:02:57,741 --> 00:02:58,941
We can just swap it out.
63
00:02:58,975 --> 00:03:00,843
All your stuff?
You got rid of all your stuff
64
00:03:00,877 --> 00:03:02,745
when you stopped hoarding.
65
00:03:02,779 --> 00:03:04,013
You told me you stopped hoarding.
66
00:03:05,248 --> 00:03:07,216
I did.
67
00:03:07,250 --> 00:03:09,118
Tell you that.
68
00:03:09,152 --> 00:03:12,288
I can't believe you lied and
told me you stopped hoarding.
69
00:03:12,322 --> 00:03:14,290
I haven't gambled once since I quit.
70
00:03:14,324 --> 00:03:16,625
I bet you $1,000
there's a bunch of other stuff
71
00:03:16,660 --> 00:03:18,561
- you're not telling me.
- Why is this open?
72
00:03:18,595 --> 00:03:20,229
Seriously. I bet you.
Right now.
73
00:03:20,263 --> 00:03:22,231
Step away from the locker!
74
00:03:22,265 --> 00:03:24,333
No, no, it's okay.
This is our stuff.
75
00:03:24,367 --> 00:03:26,168
Not anymore.
You didn't pay your rent.
76
00:03:26,203 --> 00:03:27,636
We're just airing out the contents
77
00:03:27,671 --> 00:03:29,305
before we put it up for auction.
78
00:03:29,339 --> 00:03:30,339
Hold on there.
79
00:03:30,373 --> 00:03:32,007
A working grandmother
80
00:03:32,042 --> 00:03:33,776
goes without paying for 24 months
81
00:03:33,810 --> 00:03:35,778
and you just take all her stuff?
82
00:03:35,812 --> 00:03:36,846
Romney!
83
00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:37,913
He lost, Burt.
84
00:03:37,948 --> 00:03:39,415
- Obama!
- Look,
85
00:03:39,449 --> 00:03:41,217
I don't know what to tell you.
If you want your stuff back,
86
00:03:41,251 --> 00:03:44,687
you owe $700. Other than that,
it goes to the highest bidder.
87
00:03:44,721 --> 00:03:45,888
Hey! Hey!
88
00:03:45,922 --> 00:03:47,957
Just because you have
every right to take our stuff
89
00:03:47,991 --> 00:03:49,592
and I don't have
any argument against it
90
00:03:49,626 --> 00:03:52,761
doesn't mean I'm done
talking to you, buddy!
91
00:03:52,796 --> 00:03:56,365
Excuse me. If we could
just talk about this...
92
00:03:56,399 --> 00:03:58,167
Oh, my God, look.
93
00:03:58,201 --> 00:03:59,268
It's Creepy the Clown.
94
00:04:01,404 --> 00:04:04,006
Years ago, we had a creepy clown doll
95
00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:05,741
that used to freak Jimmy out.
96
00:04:05,775 --> 00:04:07,409
Jimmy.
97
00:04:12,282 --> 00:04:13,916
It was hilarious.
98
00:04:30,133 --> 00:04:33,469
We didn't just torture Jimmy with it.
99
00:04:33,503 --> 00:04:35,671
We also used itto keep him out of danger.
100
00:04:41,177 --> 00:04:43,946
And while some thingscould shock him for a second,
101
00:04:43,980 --> 00:04:46,982
other things could scar him for life.
102
00:04:48,218 --> 00:04:51,353
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa, whoa.
103
00:04:51,388 --> 00:04:54,390
We don't have the money
for that much therapy.
104
00:04:55,892 --> 00:04:58,327
So we needed to hidethe tape in a place
105
00:04:58,361 --> 00:05:01,363
we knew Jimmy would never look.
106
00:05:06,736 --> 00:05:08,704
It was a perfect hiding place
107
00:05:08,738 --> 00:05:10,706
until Maw Maw decided to donate stuff
108
00:05:10,740 --> 00:05:12,708
to the church rummage sale.
109
00:05:12,742 --> 00:05:14,410
And that was the last time
110
00:05:14,444 --> 00:05:17,446
we ever sawthat creepy-looking clown.
111
00:05:20,016 --> 00:05:22,785
Ouch! Ouch!
112
00:05:22,819 --> 00:05:24,954
Is this unit up for auction?
113
00:05:24,988 --> 00:05:26,889
They're all up
for bid Saturday morning.
114
00:05:26,923 --> 00:05:30,893
We've got to get our
sex tape out of that clown's ass.
115
00:05:30,927 --> 00:05:33,929
I bet nobody's ever said that before.
116
00:05:37,458 --> 00:05:39,092
- You ready?
- Yeah.
117
00:05:41,295 --> 00:05:43,263
- What do you think?
- I think
118
00:05:43,297 --> 00:05:45,265
America's about to elect
a terrorist as a vice president
119
00:05:45,299 --> 00:05:47,801
if somebody doesn't start
listening to Claire Danes.
120
00:05:47,835 --> 00:05:48,802
Oh,
121
00:05:48,836 --> 00:05:50,904
you mean your sleep apnea mask.
122
00:05:50,938 --> 00:05:52,472
If it prevents you from sleepwalking,
123
00:05:52,506 --> 00:05:53,573
I think it's great.
124
00:05:53,608 --> 00:05:55,442
I think I look like a fighter pilot.
125
00:05:55,476 --> 00:05:56,910
You get to pretend you're sleeping
126
00:05:56,944 --> 00:05:58,211
with Tom Cruise tonight.
127
00:05:58,245 --> 00:06:00,280
- Ooh. Okay.
- Maybe get
128
00:06:00,314 --> 00:06:01,548
into a little "risky business."
129
00:06:01,582 --> 00:06:02,649
Is there any way I can prevent you
130
00:06:02,683 --> 00:06:03,850
from ruining my Homeland marathon
131
00:06:03,884 --> 00:06:05,652
by making bad Tom Cruise
references all night?
132
00:06:05,686 --> 00:06:07,120
That's a "mission impossible."
133
00:06:08,489 --> 00:06:11,124
Get ready for "the firm."
134
00:06:11,158 --> 00:06:12,492
'Cause I'm about to make it "rain...
135
00:06:13,361 --> 00:06:14,661
...man."
136
00:06:22,370 --> 00:06:25,338
Aw, not again!
137
00:06:28,542 --> 00:06:30,510
Yo!
138
00:06:36,250 --> 00:06:37,384
What are you doing?
139
00:06:37,418 --> 00:06:38,785
The guy at the storage space
140
00:06:38,819 --> 00:06:41,221
said those auctions go up to 500 bucks.
141
00:06:41,255 --> 00:06:42,489
So if we want to get
142
00:06:42,523 --> 00:06:43,490
our sex tape back,
143
00:06:43,524 --> 00:06:44,791
we need to make some quick cash,
144
00:06:44,825 --> 00:06:46,493
and I'm willing to try anything.
145
00:06:46,527 --> 00:06:49,496
Which is something whoever gets
that tape is gonna find out.
146
00:06:49,530 --> 00:06:51,064
But you can't sell the van.
147
00:06:51,098 --> 00:06:53,500
Why not? Jimmy and Sabrina
have a new car.
148
00:06:53,534 --> 00:06:55,869
I have a car, you have your work truck.
149
00:06:55,903 --> 00:06:59,072
Maw Maw won this scooter in
a poker game with Mrs. Peables.
150
00:06:59,106 --> 00:07:01,241
Even after the stroke,
she still doesn't have
151
00:07:01,275 --> 00:07:02,876
much of a poker face.
152
00:07:04,211 --> 00:07:06,379
I know we don't need the van, but...
153
00:07:06,414 --> 00:07:08,314
it's like a part of the family.
154
00:07:08,349 --> 00:07:10,550
It has so many special memories.
155
00:07:22,096 --> 00:07:24,831
If there was a Tongue Hall of
Fame, Burt, you'd be in it.
156
00:07:24,865 --> 00:07:27,000
And-and if there was
a Tongue Nobel Prize,
157
00:07:27,034 --> 00:07:28,601
you'd have a whole shelf full.
158
00:07:30,304 --> 00:07:32,205
Ah, that's it!
159
00:07:32,239 --> 00:07:34,574
I can't listen to this tape anymore.
160
00:07:34,608 --> 00:07:35,542
It's been stuck
161
00:07:35,576 --> 00:07:37,744
in there since I bought the van.
162
00:07:37,778 --> 00:07:39,179
Ah.
163
00:07:48,222 --> 00:07:50,223
Not again.
164
00:07:56,097 --> 00:07:57,731
I can't do it.
165
00:07:57,765 --> 00:07:59,299
We're not selling the van.
166
00:07:59,333 --> 00:08:00,934
You're gonna have to find
something else to sell.
167
00:08:02,336 --> 00:08:04,571
Hmm, clarity in the hooves.
168
00:08:04,605 --> 00:08:07,307
Perfectly symmetrical snout holes.
169
00:08:07,341 --> 00:08:11,177
Only the tiny hands
of a scared Chinese child
170
00:08:11,212 --> 00:08:13,580
can achieve that craftsmanship.
171
00:08:13,614 --> 00:08:15,782
But I don't see the one
you know I want.
172
00:08:15,816 --> 00:08:17,217
I brought you everything I have.
173
00:08:17,251 --> 00:08:18,885
This is all I've got.
174
00:08:18,919 --> 00:08:20,453
I've been to your house, Virginia.
175
00:08:20,488 --> 00:08:23,590
I want your Swiney Todd, the
Demon Butcher of Meat Street,
176
00:08:23,624 --> 00:08:25,425
wanted for multiple ham-icides.
177
00:08:25,459 --> 00:08:28,928
The worst-selling character
in Pigurine history, and thus...
178
00:08:28,963 --> 00:08:30,330
the rarest.
179
00:08:31,365 --> 00:08:33,366
Fine.
180
00:08:35,936 --> 00:08:37,303
I'll sell it to you.
181
00:08:37,338 --> 00:08:38,671
But just so you know,
182
00:08:38,706 --> 00:08:41,241
I consider this highway hoggery.
183
00:08:44,311 --> 00:08:47,714
H-Hoggery.
I got it. I got it.
184
00:08:49,750 --> 00:08:51,651
I just came up with that.
185
00:08:52,686 --> 00:08:55,822
Where you been?
186
00:08:55,856 --> 00:08:58,658
Operation Steal Our
Microwave Door successful.
187
00:08:58,692 --> 00:08:59,726
All right, we're gonna start
the bidding at five dollars.
188
00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:00,927
Somebody give me five,
somebody give me five.
189
00:09:00,961 --> 00:09:02,762
I got five right there.
Anybody with six?
190
00:09:02,797 --> 00:09:04,664
- Six!
- Six dollars. Can I get seven?
191
00:09:04,698 --> 00:09:06,032
- Seven!
- Seven, I got seven. I got seven.
192
00:09:06,066 --> 00:09:08,268
- $20!
- $20! Right over there, $20...
193
00:09:08,302 --> 00:09:10,094
Frank, what the hell?
194
00:09:10,137 --> 00:09:11,538
Look, I don't know
why you want this locker,
195
00:09:11,572 --> 00:09:13,198
but I'll make you a deal. 21!
196
00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:14,741
You let us win this locker,
197
00:09:14,775 --> 00:09:17,001
we'll give you everything inside
except for that
198
00:09:17,036 --> 00:09:18,837
cute little clown doll for Hope.
199
00:09:18,871 --> 00:09:20,472
You can keep the doll,
200
00:09:20,506 --> 00:09:23,483
but I get to keep the sex tape inside.
201
00:09:24,351 --> 00:09:26,544
Oh, I know.
202
00:09:27,380 --> 00:09:29,545
_
203
00:09:30,282 --> 00:09:31,583
What's going on there?
204
00:09:31,617 --> 00:09:33,151
Yeah, my mom's selling
some of her Pigurines
205
00:09:33,185 --> 00:09:35,753
to bid on a storage unit
that has her sex tape in it.
206
00:09:38,224 --> 00:09:40,225
- $100!
- I got $100 right there!
207
00:09:40,259 --> 00:09:41,860
$125!
208
00:09:41,894 --> 00:09:43,495
- $200!
- $300!
209
00:09:43,529 --> 00:09:45,163
- $400!
- $400 right there!
210
00:09:45,197 --> 00:09:47,532
What? - I know how much Jimmy
makes at the grocery store.
211
00:09:47,566 --> 00:09:49,501
- Where'd you get that kind of money?
- I won 800 bucks
212
00:09:49,535 --> 00:09:51,870
coming in second place
at a demolition derby.
213
00:09:51,904 --> 00:09:53,404
My Pacer is totaled.
214
00:09:53,439 --> 00:09:57,141
Look. If you care about me
as a friend at all...
215
00:09:57,176 --> 00:09:59,077
$450! You won't do this.
216
00:09:59,111 --> 00:10:00,979
Okay, fine.
I'll make you a deal.
217
00:10:01,013 --> 00:10:03,047
$475! You can keep the tape,
218
00:10:03,082 --> 00:10:04,549
but I would like to rent it
on occasion.
219
00:10:04,583 --> 00:10:06,317
$480! Okay, but just once.
220
00:10:06,352 --> 00:10:08,586
$485! Go on.
221
00:10:08,621 --> 00:10:09,888
You have to watch it at our house,
222
00:10:09,922 --> 00:10:12,190
and you have to keep
your pants on. $490!
223
00:10:12,224 --> 00:10:15,059
No rewinds, no copies, no pauses.
224
00:10:15,094 --> 00:10:18,062
$495! One pause,
eight seconds long.
225
00:10:18,097 --> 00:10:19,697
- Fine!
- Deal!
226
00:10:19,732 --> 00:10:23,201
- $500!
- $500! $500 going once...
227
00:10:23,235 --> 00:10:25,003
$500 going twice...
228
00:10:25,037 --> 00:10:27,872
- sold, $500! Come on in.
- Yes!
229
00:10:31,243 --> 00:10:33,711
What? There's no hole!
230
00:10:33,746 --> 00:10:35,380
Oh, my God!
231
00:10:35,414 --> 00:10:38,550
I just sold my Pigurines and blew $500
232
00:10:38,584 --> 00:10:41,853
on the wrong stuffed clown that
doesn't have our sex tape in it.
233
00:10:41,887 --> 00:10:43,555
Don't beat yourself up about it.
234
00:10:43,589 --> 00:10:46,224
I'm sure this happens to
people all the time.
235
00:10:51,889 --> 00:10:56,359
I don't know if exercising
is gonna be the answer
236
00:10:56,394 --> 00:11:00,196
to my sleepwalking, and plus,
I kind of feel ridiculous.
237
00:11:00,231 --> 00:11:02,699
Yeah, well, last
night you walked through town
238
00:11:02,733 --> 00:11:05,135
in your boxer shorts
and my fuzzy slippers, so...
239
00:11:05,169 --> 00:11:07,003
I think this is worth a shot.
240
00:11:07,037 --> 00:11:09,139
Hey.
241
00:11:09,173 --> 00:11:10,874
Either your parents
are having a yard sale
242
00:11:10,908 --> 00:11:12,675
or your house finally threw up.
243
00:11:12,710 --> 00:11:14,010
Yeah, talk about a lot
of stuff I don't need.
244
00:11:14,044 --> 00:11:15,145
I already got
245
00:11:15,179 --> 00:11:16,813
the wolf blanket, I got that
same bikini poster girl...
246
00:11:16,847 --> 00:11:17,881
Wait a second.
247
00:11:17,915 --> 00:11:18,915
What are you guys doing?
248
00:11:18,949 --> 00:11:20,183
Oh, your mother's having a yard sale
249
00:11:20,217 --> 00:11:21,584
so she can buy back her Pigurines.
250
00:11:21,619 --> 00:11:23,019
I'm selling all the stuff we got
251
00:11:23,053 --> 00:11:24,187
from that storage unit we won
252
00:11:24,221 --> 00:11:25,321
along with some of your crap.
253
00:11:25,356 --> 00:11:28,158
You just can't sell my stuff!
254
00:11:28,192 --> 00:11:31,694
This is 100% authentic bathtub gin
255
00:11:31,729 --> 00:11:34,998
passed down to me by
my great aunt, Blind Lizzy,
256
00:11:35,032 --> 00:11:37,767
to her daughter, Blind Betty,
and then finally her sons,
257
00:11:37,802 --> 00:11:41,938
Blind Barry and Sightless Sam,
who spoke the recipe to me.
258
00:11:41,972 --> 00:11:43,373
Ten bucks a jar,
259
00:11:43,407 --> 00:11:45,575
'cause this is probably
the last batch I can make
260
00:11:45,609 --> 00:11:48,111
'cause my eyes aren't
what they used to be.
261
00:11:48,145 --> 00:11:49,446
Thank you.
262
00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:51,014
How much for this photo album?
263
00:11:51,048 --> 00:11:51,948
Two dollars.
264
00:11:51,982 --> 00:11:53,149
I don't want the pictures.
265
00:11:53,184 --> 00:11:55,385
Looking at other people's
memories makes me sad.
266
00:11:55,419 --> 00:11:58,555
Sorry, we got this stuff from
somebody else's storage space.
267
00:11:58,589 --> 00:12:01,291
Huh. That's actually a
pretty cute baby right there.
268
00:12:01,325 --> 00:12:02,759
Wow, what a happy family.
269
00:12:02,793 --> 00:12:05,595
He looks so peaceful
sleeping in his bassinet.
270
00:12:05,629 --> 00:12:07,664
Hey... it's that one
right there.
271
00:12:10,100 --> 00:12:12,969
And there he is learning
to ride that bike!
272
00:12:14,438 --> 00:12:16,973
Are you gonna sell me the book
or narrate every photo?
273
00:12:17,007 --> 00:12:19,476
This album's not for sale.
274
00:12:19,510 --> 00:12:20,844
There's a family out there
275
00:12:20,878 --> 00:12:22,779
who would love to have
these wonderful memories.
276
00:12:22,813 --> 00:12:25,048
You can go buy some of my
son's crap over there.
277
00:12:25,082 --> 00:12:26,616
What are you doing?
278
00:12:26,650 --> 00:12:28,084
Virginia, we can't sell this stuff,
279
00:12:28,118 --> 00:12:29,385
It's not ours.
280
00:12:29,420 --> 00:12:31,421
The people in these pictures
are gonna want it back.
281
00:12:31,455 --> 00:12:34,524
This is the history of their
courtship and their marriage...
282
00:12:34,558 --> 00:12:36,759
and their underwater birth.
283
00:12:36,794 --> 00:12:38,294
Oh, scratch that.
284
00:12:38,329 --> 00:12:39,929
They're just went snorkeling
with a baby sea otter.
285
00:12:39,964 --> 00:12:41,931
Well, I need money
to get my Pigurines back.
286
00:12:41,966 --> 00:12:44,300
Fine. I'll sell the van.
287
00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:53,109
Well, the shocks still work.
288
00:12:54,945 --> 00:12:57,614
Now all I need is some good-looking
friends and a talking dog
289
00:12:57,648 --> 00:13:00,750
and my mystery-solving
business is up and running.
290
00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:05,722
I'm gonna miss her.
291
00:13:05,756 --> 00:13:07,257
If you want, I can pick you up
292
00:13:07,291 --> 00:13:08,958
every now and then
and take you for a ride.
293
00:13:08,993 --> 00:13:12,228
No. I think that'll just
confuse the van.
294
00:13:59,443 --> 00:14:01,077
Jimmy?
295
00:14:06,116 --> 00:14:08,284
I can't believe you sold
the van for strangers,
296
00:14:08,319 --> 00:14:11,054
but when I wanted to get the
tape back to keep my dignity,
297
00:14:11,088 --> 00:14:12,221
you wouldn't even listen.
298
00:14:12,256 --> 00:14:13,823
I only sold it to help you buy back
299
00:14:13,857 --> 00:14:15,325
your precious Pigurines.
300
00:14:15,359 --> 00:14:17,327
I told you that, but you
don't listen to me.
301
00:14:17,361 --> 00:14:18,528
I don't listen to you?
302
00:14:18,562 --> 00:14:19,662
You don't listen to me.
303
00:14:19,697 --> 00:14:21,264
I'm not listening to this.
304
00:14:24,768 --> 00:14:26,002
- Hey.
- Hi.
305
00:14:26,036 --> 00:14:28,204
We found a bunch of mail
with this address on it
306
00:14:28,238 --> 00:14:30,006
in an old storage unit and
we're trying to find out
307
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:31,674
who it belongs to so we can
return all their stuff.
308
00:14:31,709 --> 00:14:34,077
Burt! Virginia!
I know who you are.
309
00:14:34,111 --> 00:14:35,878
Christine, get over here!
310
00:14:36,647 --> 00:14:38,414
Hi.
311
00:14:38,449 --> 00:14:39,515
Oh.
312
00:14:39,550 --> 00:14:41,684
It's Burt and Virginia.
313
00:14:41,719 --> 00:14:43,519
How do you know us?
314
00:14:43,554 --> 00:14:45,688
From your sex tape.
315
00:14:45,723 --> 00:14:47,724
Oh, God. Oh, my God.
316
00:14:47,758 --> 00:14:49,192
Oh, my God!
317
00:14:49,226 --> 00:14:51,694
That's exactly how she
says it on the tape! - I know!
318
00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:04,126
I know.
319
00:15:06,496 --> 00:15:07,430
Burt, I almost didn't recognize you
320
00:15:07,464 --> 00:15:10,166
with your contemporary hairstyle.
321
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,833
Virginia, have you kept up with
contemporary grooming trends?
322
00:15:12,970 --> 00:15:14,837
I'm a little uncomfortable
323
00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:17,473
with how comfortable
you two are with us.
324
00:15:17,507 --> 00:15:19,508
Oh, no, it's just that
we've seen your tape
325
00:15:19,543 --> 00:15:20,977
like, a thousand times.
326
00:15:21,011 --> 00:15:24,447
Yeah, you said that...
like, 2,000 times.
327
00:15:24,481 --> 00:15:26,482
I remember the day we got it.
328
00:15:26,516 --> 00:15:28,551
We were getting ready to move
329
00:15:28,585 --> 00:15:30,152
into my brother-in-law'sguest house
330
00:15:30,187 --> 00:15:32,355
and we bought a bunch of thingsat the church rummage sale,
331
00:15:32,389 --> 00:15:35,691
but we got more than we paid for.
332
00:15:38,328 --> 00:15:40,129
I wasn't really a sex tape kind of guy,
333
00:15:40,163 --> 00:15:41,898
but we'd been fighting and I thought,
334
00:15:41,932 --> 00:15:44,433
hey, this mightshake us out of our rut.
335
00:15:49,973 --> 00:15:51,774
I've never seen anything like this.
336
00:15:51,808 --> 00:15:54,110
Why don't we ever role play
as a maid and a yard guy
337
00:15:54,144 --> 00:15:56,379
doing it in an old haunted house?
338
00:15:59,149 --> 00:16:00,616
Your tape was heaven-sent.
339
00:16:00,651 --> 00:16:02,385
We watched it almost every night.
340
00:16:02,419 --> 00:16:04,353
Yeah, we even started showing it
to our sons, Dominic and Logan.
341
00:16:04,388 --> 00:16:05,621
What?!
342
00:16:05,656 --> 00:16:07,857
I hope, for your kids' sake,
they're blind and deaf.
343
00:16:07,891 --> 00:16:09,091
Oh, no, no, no. It's not,
it's not like that.
344
00:16:09,126 --> 00:16:11,861
No, Jimmy, um, edited out
all the sex parts.
345
00:16:11,895 --> 00:16:13,529
You guys had such
an amazing relationship
346
00:16:13,563 --> 00:16:15,364
that we took a triple-X
and made it into a "G"
347
00:16:15,399 --> 00:16:17,967
so we could use it as a
teaching tool for relationships.
348
00:16:18,001 --> 00:16:19,001
Check it out.
349
00:16:20,270 --> 00:16:21,671
Compassion.
350
00:16:23,173 --> 00:16:24,473
Oh, no, no, Burt.
351
00:16:24,508 --> 00:16:26,776
It flew over back by the door.
352
00:16:26,810 --> 00:16:28,811
Come here, buddy.
I'm not gonna hurt you.
353
00:16:28,845 --> 00:16:30,179
It's all about catch and release.
354
00:16:30,213 --> 00:16:33,015
Come... aww...
355
00:16:33,050 --> 00:16:35,151
Come here.
356
00:16:35,185 --> 00:16:38,154
I got him! I got him!
357
00:16:41,858 --> 00:16:43,059
I love how nice you are
358
00:16:43,093 --> 00:16:44,660
to all of God's creatures.
359
00:16:44,695 --> 00:16:46,495
I could never hurt a fly.
360
00:16:46,530 --> 00:16:49,231
Understanding.
361
00:16:53,003 --> 00:16:55,438
You got, like, 12 alarm
clocks under the bed.
362
00:16:55,472 --> 00:16:57,406
I don't know.
363
00:16:57,441 --> 00:17:01,077
I just keep buying them just in case.
364
00:17:01,111 --> 00:17:02,211
You don't think I'm, like,
365
00:17:02,245 --> 00:17:05,414
one of those crazy hoarders, do you?
366
00:17:05,449 --> 00:17:06,649
No.
367
00:17:06,683 --> 00:17:09,151
No, you're just being prepared.
368
00:17:09,186 --> 00:17:11,520
I imagine one day, of us
is going to have a job
369
00:17:11,555 --> 00:17:14,623
that'll require us
to be somewhere on time.
370
00:17:14,658 --> 00:17:16,392
Listening.
371
00:17:16,426 --> 00:17:18,227
I think it's your turn to start
372
00:17:18,261 --> 00:17:19,895
'cause I ripped off your
clothes last time.
373
00:17:19,930 --> 00:17:21,297
Oh, speaking of rip-offs,
374
00:17:21,331 --> 00:17:23,666
the Johnsons told me they want
to change landscapers today
375
00:17:23,700 --> 00:17:26,202
after I trimmed all their trees.
376
00:17:26,236 --> 00:17:28,571
I spent hours trying
to nail the branches back on,
377
00:17:28,605 --> 00:17:30,606
then I just gave up
and I peed in the pool.
378
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:33,676
Oh, it's for the best.
379
00:17:33,710 --> 00:17:36,045
Those people treated you like crap,
380
00:17:36,079 --> 00:17:37,947
they never paid you on time,
381
00:17:37,981 --> 00:17:39,749
and I could always
hear the stress in your voice
382
00:17:39,783 --> 00:17:41,884
every time you went over there.
383
00:17:41,918 --> 00:17:44,120
This landscaping thing
is only temporary.
384
00:17:44,154 --> 00:17:46,389
Your rock band is about to take off.
385
00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:52,128
Oh, my God.
386
00:17:52,162 --> 00:17:53,429
Burt, do you believe that?
387
00:17:53,463 --> 00:17:54,764
I know.
388
00:17:54,798 --> 00:17:56,665
I thought we were the only
ones who still had a VCR.
389
00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:57,900
Me, too!
390
00:17:57,934 --> 00:18:00,936
God, I'm so glad to hear
that's what you were thinking.
391
00:18:00,971 --> 00:18:02,104
I feel like we've been so out of sync
392
00:18:02,139 --> 00:18:03,439
the last couple of weeks.
393
00:18:03,473 --> 00:18:06,175
It's like we lost something,
but I'm not sure what.
394
00:18:06,209 --> 00:18:08,411
Well, if I had to pick
three things out of thin air,
395
00:18:08,445 --> 00:18:10,413
I'd say compassion,
396
00:18:10,447 --> 00:18:12,982
understanding and maybe listening.
397
00:18:13,016 --> 00:18:15,451
No, Burt, you know what it is?
398
00:18:15,485 --> 00:18:16,819
It's listening,
399
00:18:16,853 --> 00:18:19,989
and I'm sorry if I haven't been.
400
00:18:20,023 --> 00:18:21,457
Me, too.
401
00:18:25,862 --> 00:18:27,296
No, no, no.
402
00:18:27,330 --> 00:18:30,199
We are not filming
a sequel here, weirdoes.
403
00:18:30,233 --> 00:18:31,333
And we want our sex tape back.
404
00:18:31,368 --> 00:18:33,369
No. You can't.
We need it.
405
00:18:33,403 --> 00:18:34,470
I thought we were friends.
406
00:18:34,504 --> 00:18:36,439
We barely know you.
407
00:18:36,473 --> 00:18:38,207
How 'bout we buy it from you?
408
00:18:38,241 --> 00:18:39,375
- No way.
- Eight hundred.
409
00:18:39,409 --> 00:18:41,210
Deal. I'll get
my checkbook.
410
00:18:41,244 --> 00:18:42,645
Virginia, what are you doing?
411
00:18:42,679 --> 00:18:44,280
I want to get your van back
412
00:18:44,314 --> 00:18:46,482
and sacrifice for you
the way you sacrificed for me
413
00:18:46,516 --> 00:18:48,317
to get my Pigurines back.
414
00:18:54,391 --> 00:18:56,058
Could you stop staring at me?
415
00:18:56,093 --> 00:18:59,061
I know your mind's blown meeting
"Virginia from the sex tape,"
416
00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:01,664
but you're making me
feel self-conscious.
417
00:19:01,698 --> 00:19:03,232
Actually, um, I was just,
418
00:19:03,266 --> 00:19:05,201
I was wondering about
that-that mole that you have
419
00:19:05,235 --> 00:19:06,702
on your left butt cheek.
420
00:19:06,736 --> 00:19:08,304
Did you ever get that checked out?
421
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:11,073
We have to go.
422
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:12,208
Okay.
423
00:19:14,711 --> 00:19:15,978
That's it! That's it!
424
00:19:16,012 --> 00:19:17,146
I got it!
425
00:19:19,216 --> 00:19:20,983
Whoa. Hey, what's
going on?
426
00:19:21,017 --> 00:19:22,218
Mmm,
427
00:19:22,252 --> 00:19:23,552
I had to figure this out.
428
00:19:23,587 --> 00:19:24,954
I just couldn't take it anymore.
429
00:19:24,988 --> 00:19:27,590
I knew there had to be
an answer to this mystery
430
00:19:27,624 --> 00:19:28,491
and I just wasn't going to sleep
431
00:19:28,525 --> 00:19:29,558
until I figured it out.
432
00:19:29,593 --> 00:19:32,428
Jimmy, you have been
sleepwalking your whole life.
433
00:19:33,463 --> 00:19:35,431
I'm not gonna let that happen again.
434
00:19:35,465 --> 00:19:36,432
So I asked myself,
435
00:19:36,466 --> 00:19:38,367
what do all your
sleepwalks have in common?
436
00:19:38,401 --> 00:19:40,402
The red pins are where
you've been falling asleep,
437
00:19:40,437 --> 00:19:43,372
and the blue pins are
where you've been waking up.
438
00:19:43,406 --> 00:19:44,440
So if you extend this line,
439
00:19:44,474 --> 00:19:46,342
you'll see that you've been walking
440
00:19:46,376 --> 00:19:49,712
towards the same place, okay?
441
00:19:49,746 --> 00:19:51,547
This is your Mecca.
442
00:19:51,581 --> 00:19:53,149
This is your homeland,
443
00:19:53,183 --> 00:19:54,416
the Chance residence.
444
00:19:54,451 --> 00:19:56,385
Yeah, but just now, I woke up
445
00:19:56,419 --> 00:19:57,553
in the dining room.
446
00:19:57,587 --> 00:19:59,255
That's where your stuff is.
447
00:20:00,290 --> 00:20:01,891
Oh, yeah!
448
00:20:01,925 --> 00:20:03,058
That's right!
449
00:20:03,093 --> 00:20:06,829
Why doesn't anybody ever believe me?!
450
00:20:06,863 --> 00:20:09,565
I believe you, I believe you,
451
00:20:09,599 --> 00:20:11,867
but I will say, you were a lot more fun
452
00:20:11,902 --> 00:20:13,969
when your favorite show was
Californication.
453
00:20:16,072 --> 00:20:18,274
People like to say,
"home is where the heart is,"
454
00:20:18,308 --> 00:20:21,410
but I kind of thinkhome is where your stuff is.
455
00:20:21,444 --> 00:20:22,545
You sure you don't mind
456
00:20:22,579 --> 00:20:24,480
me putting all my old junk
in this room?
457
00:20:24,514 --> 00:20:25,948
It's our room.
458
00:20:25,982 --> 00:20:27,449
Plus, I still have my old
college bulletin board
459
00:20:27,484 --> 00:20:28,684
and I got lots of my old stuff.
460
00:20:28,718 --> 00:20:30,219
Just look in the closet.
461
00:20:33,490 --> 00:20:35,224
Ahhhhhhh!
462
00:20:35,258 --> 00:20:37,226
Your parents were right.
463
00:20:37,260 --> 00:20:38,794
That's hilarious.
464
00:20:41,298 --> 00:20:42,798
Turns out I wasn't the only one
465
00:20:42,832 --> 00:20:45,467
who had an emotional attachmentto their stuff.
466
00:20:47,737 --> 00:20:48,837
Oh.
467
00:20:58,248 --> 00:20:59,815
Don't worry.
468
00:20:59,849 --> 00:21:02,484
We never have to discuss
how he drove you.
469
00:21:04,287 --> 00:21:06,388
And some people just can't get enough
470
00:21:06,423 --> 00:21:07,990
of other people's stuff.
471
00:21:14,864 --> 00:21:16,498
Mostly, I was really glad
472
00:21:16,533 --> 00:21:19,802
to have all thatsleepwalking behind me...
473
00:21:19,836 --> 00:21:22,722
until I found out it was hereditary.
474
00:21:31,565 --> 00:21:36,728
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
34304
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