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1
00:00:04,117 --> 00:00:06,241
Flavor of Westport,
2
00:00:06,242 --> 00:00:07,866
where the hippest restaurants
in town
3
00:00:07,867 --> 00:00:09,991
offer samples
of their signature dishes.
4
00:00:09,992 --> 00:00:12,282
Wow. Quinoa pie,
kale on a stick.
5
00:00:12,283 --> 00:00:14,241
Things I would eat if I was
on the show "Survivor"
6
00:00:14,242 --> 00:00:16,824
and I already ate
every rat on the island.
7
00:00:16,825 --> 00:00:18,824
Greg, Katie, hi!
Hi.
8
00:00:18,825 --> 00:00:20,991
This is also a great place
to bump into the people
9
00:00:20,992 --> 00:00:22,824
I spend all week
trying to avoid.
10
00:00:22,825 --> 00:00:24,866
Have you guys heard about
the big shake-up at school?
11
00:00:24,867 --> 00:00:25,991
Did one of those
lonely moms
12
00:00:25,992 --> 00:00:27,282
finally do
10 minutes in the shed
13
00:00:27,283 --> 00:00:28,157
with that
sexy groundskeeper?
14
00:00:28,158 --> 00:00:29,491
No.
15
00:00:29,492 --> 00:00:30,616
The new chairs
I've been fighting for
16
00:00:30,617 --> 00:00:32,032
were approved.
17
00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:34,199
We now have lumbar support
for our children!
18
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,241
Three things happen
when you become parents.
19
00:00:36,242 --> 00:00:37,449
You buy a minivan,
20
00:00:37,450 --> 00:00:39,282
you use the word "potty"
around adults,
21
00:00:39,283 --> 00:00:41,907
and every conversation
becomes about the kids.
22
00:00:41,908 --> 00:00:44,741
We have so much
children's medicine
in the house,
23
00:00:44,742 --> 00:00:47,116
but I can never find
those little plastic
measuring thingies.
24
00:00:47,117 --> 00:00:48,866
Where do they go?
25
00:00:48,867 --> 00:00:50,574
Probably hanging out
with all the missing socks.
26
00:00:52,450 --> 00:00:54,324
Missing socks!
27
00:00:54,325 --> 00:00:56,699
This is so boring.
28
00:00:58,658 --> 00:01:02,991
Beets, fish oil,
pollen, and--
29
00:01:02,992 --> 00:01:04,949
oh, I'm forgetting one--
peanuts!
30
00:01:04,950 --> 00:01:06,991
Those are all of
Holden's allergies.
31
00:01:06,992 --> 00:01:08,199
Okay. Now I'll go.
32
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:11,116
Hay weed, gluten,
33
00:01:11,117 --> 00:01:13,283
hypoallergenic foam...
Super boring.
34
00:01:14,158 --> 00:01:15,949
I can't believe you left me
with that couple.
35
00:01:15,950 --> 00:01:17,824
They took me through
the entire evolution
36
00:01:17,825 --> 00:01:19,574
of their son's pronunciation
of "blueberry."
37
00:01:19,575 --> 00:01:21,324
Don't recap that conversation
for me.
38
00:01:21,325 --> 00:01:23,032
I actually sat
in a hot Port-a-Potty
39
00:01:23,033 --> 00:01:24,782
for 20 minutes
to avoid it.
40
00:01:24,783 --> 00:01:26,241
We should go.
41
00:01:26,242 --> 00:01:27,324
I have to help Anna-Kat
write a five-minute story
42
00:01:27,325 --> 00:01:28,991
for the Kid Lit assembly
this weekend.
43
00:01:28,992 --> 00:01:31,074
I think she focuses better
after a string cheese.
44
00:01:31,075 --> 00:01:32,907
But not the yellow kind
or the white kind.
45
00:01:32,908 --> 00:01:34,407
The yellow-swirled-with-white
kind.
46
00:01:34,408 --> 00:01:35,449
Cheddarella.
47
00:01:35,450 --> 00:01:36,532
Remember that time
we gave her the store brand?
48
00:01:36,533 --> 00:01:37,991
Yikes-arella.
49
00:01:37,992 --> 00:01:39,449
Oh, my God.
50
00:01:39,450 --> 00:01:40,949
Now we're boring
ourselves.
51
00:01:40,950 --> 00:01:42,991
We have no life
outside of our kids.
52
00:01:42,992 --> 00:01:44,491
That's not true.
53
00:01:44,492 --> 00:01:46,116
Okay, the other day,
I was carpool lane--
54
00:01:46,117 --> 00:01:47,032
Uhp, that's the kids.
55
00:01:47,033 --> 00:01:48,366
Never mind.
We have no life.
56
00:01:48,367 --> 00:01:49,574
Hold that thought.
57
00:01:49,575 --> 00:01:51,532
My trans-fat sense
is tingling.
58
00:01:51,533 --> 00:01:54,033
I smell something...
fried.
59
00:01:55,575 --> 00:01:56,741
...they must be hanging out
60
00:01:56,742 --> 00:01:57,782
with the missing socks, right?
61
00:01:59,075 --> 00:02:00,366
Hey, that's my line.
62
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:06,991
Greg, at my funeral,
along with bagpipes,
63
00:02:06,992 --> 00:02:08,199
I want funnel cakes.
64
00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:10,199
I haven't tasted
a funnel cake this good
65
00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:11,491
since
the Florida State Fair.
Mm.
66
00:02:11,492 --> 00:02:12,824
Are you from Florida?
67
00:02:12,825 --> 00:02:14,782
Yeah, born and raised.
68
00:02:14,783 --> 00:02:16,032
We just moved here
from Myrtle Grove.
69
00:02:16,033 --> 00:02:17,657
We used to play you guys
in football!
70
00:02:17,658 --> 00:02:18,657
What?!
71
00:02:20,283 --> 00:02:22,282
We must've partied
at the same tailgate
72
00:02:22,283 --> 00:02:23,657
at the Speedway.
73
00:02:23,658 --> 00:02:24,907
Do you know the secret
about the beer stand
74
00:02:24,908 --> 00:02:25,657
by the Quaker State sign?
75
00:02:25,658 --> 00:02:27,074
Flash 'em for a six pack?
76
00:02:27,075 --> 00:02:30,074
I never paid for a beer
in four years.
77
00:02:30,075 --> 00:02:31,199
Hold on.
78
00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:32,449
You're familiar
with John Stuart Mill?
79
00:02:32,450 --> 00:02:34,074
Of course!
You don't understand,
80
00:02:34,075 --> 00:02:35,866
you're the first person
to ever say that to me.
81
00:02:35,867 --> 00:02:37,407
No, no, I understand.
82
00:02:37,408 --> 00:02:38,991
We're two Mill-heads.
Okay.
83
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,366
Your favorite essay collection
on three.
84
00:02:40,367 --> 00:02:42,657
One, two, three.
85
00:02:42,658 --> 00:02:45,116
"Two Letters
on the Measure of Value"!
"Two Letters
on the Measure of Value"!
86
00:02:46,408 --> 00:02:47,991
So, have you gotten a feel
for the town?
87
00:02:47,992 --> 00:02:48,991
Oh, yeah.
88
00:02:48,992 --> 00:02:50,324
They should change
their motto to
89
00:02:50,325 --> 00:02:53,699
"Westport-- our foreheads
haven't moved since 1862."
90
00:02:53,700 --> 00:02:54,782
Yeah, yeah.
91
00:02:54,783 --> 00:02:56,532
"Westport--
our women own
92
00:02:56,533 --> 00:02:58,491
80% of the world's
tennis skirts."
93
00:02:59,867 --> 00:03:00,866
Hey, babe,
we better get going.
94
00:03:00,867 --> 00:03:02,157
Where you off to?
95
00:03:02,158 --> 00:03:04,282
Oh, we have tickets
for a cruise around Sagatuck.
96
00:03:04,283 --> 00:03:06,074
But, hey,
we should get together sometime.
97
00:03:06,075 --> 00:03:06,782
Here is my card.
98
00:03:06,783 --> 00:03:07,866
Thanks.
99
00:03:07,867 --> 00:03:09,407
See you, guys.
See you later.
100
00:03:09,408 --> 00:03:10,200
Bye!
Bye!
101
00:03:11,158 --> 00:03:12,199
I loved her!
102
00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:13,491
{\an8}I loved him!
103
00:03:13,492 --> 00:03:14,616
I can't believe
we finally found a couple
104
00:03:14,617 --> 00:03:16,116
that we both like!
105
00:03:16,117 --> 00:03:17,699
Don't get your hopes up
about Courtney and Zach.
106
00:03:17,700 --> 00:03:19,199
I saw them move in.
107
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,366
They don't have kids.
108
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:21,867
Damn.
109
00:03:22,042 --> 00:03:23,707
Why?
What's the big deal?
110
00:03:23,708 --> 00:03:26,457
Couples without kids
hate couples with kids.
111
00:03:26,458 --> 00:03:28,666
Then she said
"boo-bewwy."
112
00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:30,166
Wait. No.
113
00:03:30,167 --> 00:03:32,374
First, three months,
he said "bwoo-bewwy."
114
00:03:34,250 --> 00:03:37,499
'Cause couples with kids
are so b-o-o-oring.
115
00:03:38,583 --> 00:03:39,916
Mmm!
116
00:03:39,917 --> 00:03:41,041
Looks good.
117
00:03:50,833 --> 00:03:51,541
{\an8}I was thinking.
118
00:03:51,542 --> 00:03:52,957
{\an8}Is it so inconceivable
119
00:03:52,958 --> 00:03:54,291
{\an8}we could be friends
with Courtney and Zach?
120
00:03:54,292 --> 00:03:55,957
{\an8}These people have
exciting lives.
121
00:03:55,958 --> 00:03:57,541
{\an8}They don't want to hang out
with parents.
122
00:03:57,542 --> 00:03:58,375
{\an8}We've got baggage.
123
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,457
Here comes
the middle bag now.
124
00:04:02,458 --> 00:04:05,082
{\an8}Mom, a word about
the quality of our lunches.
125
00:04:05,083 --> 00:04:07,082
{\an8}Are they not
up to your standards?
No.
126
00:04:07,083 --> 00:04:08,624
{\an8}Would it kill you
to dry the lettuce
127
00:04:08,625 --> 00:04:09,666
{\an8}before
you make the sandwich?
128
00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:11,124
I don't know.
129
00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:12,541
{\an8}Would it kill you
if I put you in burlap sack
130
00:04:12,542 --> 00:04:14,000
{\an8}with a couple of bricks
and threw you off a bridge?
131
00:04:15,767 --> 00:04:16,892
I think you should go.
132
00:04:18,892 --> 00:04:20,307
What if we just
don't mention the kids?
133
00:04:20,308 --> 00:04:21,474
{\an8}Interesting.
134
00:04:21,475 --> 00:04:23,557
{\an8}So you want to lie?
Not lie.
135
00:04:23,558 --> 00:04:25,641
{\an8}Just hide the truth
until they're deeper
in the relationship.
136
00:04:25,642 --> 00:04:27,141
{\an8}You know, like you did
when we were dating.
137
00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:29,057
{\an8}You thought
I liked foreign films.
138
00:04:29,058 --> 00:04:30,516
{\an8}Ooh, "Chocolat"!
139
00:04:30,517 --> 00:04:31,599
That was in English.
140
00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:32,474
It felt foreign.
141
00:04:32,475 --> 00:04:33,724
But you're right.
142
00:04:33,725 --> 00:04:34,850
We just won't
mention the kids.
143
00:04:35,892 --> 00:04:37,432
Let me do the talking.
Why?
144
00:04:37,433 --> 00:04:39,141
Because your voice gets all high
when you're nervous.
145
00:04:39,142 --> 00:04:40,349
{\an8}It does?
146
00:04:40,350 --> 00:04:41,849
{\an8}Is that why they're
always calling me "ma'am"
147
00:04:41,850 --> 00:04:43,141
when I order
at drive-throughs?
148
00:04:43,142 --> 00:04:44,557
Who the hell gets nervous
at a drive-through?
149
00:04:44,558 --> 00:04:45,557
{\an8}It's a lot of pressure.
150
00:04:45,558 --> 00:04:46,807
{\an8}People are waiting.
151
00:04:46,808 --> 00:04:48,224
They can't always
hear you.
152
00:04:48,225 --> 00:04:49,974
{\an8}Okay, fine.
153
00:04:49,975 --> 00:04:52,099
{\an8}But put it on speaker
so I can hear.
Okay.
154
00:04:53,892 --> 00:04:55,557
{\an8}Hello?
Hey, Zach, it's Katie.
155
00:04:55,558 --> 00:04:57,099
Oh, hey, Katie.
156
00:04:57,100 --> 00:04:58,182
{\an8}Courtney and I were just
talking about you guys.
157
00:04:58,183 --> 00:04:59,516
{\an8}Us, too.
158
00:04:59,517 --> 00:05:02,307
{\an8}We figured why not call
and make a plan to hang out.
159
00:05:02,308 --> 00:05:03,516
How about dinner
tomorrow night?
160
00:05:03,517 --> 00:05:05,391
Oh, hey, Courtney!
Works for us.
161
00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:06,682
We found this great
162
00:05:06,683 --> 00:05:08,057
off-the-beaten-path
Vietnamese place.
163
00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:09,141
You guys like pho?
164
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:11,099
Fo sho!
165
00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:12,016
Perfect.
See you guys tomorrow night.
166
00:05:12,975 --> 00:05:14,724
Who's the man?!
I am!
167
00:05:14,725 --> 00:05:16,432
Who's the woman?!
That's not a saying!
168
00:05:16,433 --> 00:05:17,724
Feels sexist
leaving you out!
169
00:05:17,725 --> 00:05:19,391
We can't do this kind of crap
tomorrow night!
170
00:05:22,975 --> 00:05:24,599
Okay,
ground rules for tonight.
171
00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:25,807
Taylor's in charge,
172
00:05:25,808 --> 00:05:27,224
and there can be
no more disasters.
173
00:05:27,225 --> 00:05:28,932
What do you mean
by disasters?
174
00:05:28,933 --> 00:05:30,016
Last time
we let you babysit,
175
00:05:30,017 --> 00:05:31,099
you guys played hide-and-seek
with Anna-Kat
176
00:05:31,100 --> 00:05:32,182
and gave up
without telling her.
177
00:05:32,183 --> 00:05:33,557
She was zipped
inside an old suitcase
178
00:05:33,558 --> 00:05:34,891
for five hours.
179
00:05:34,892 --> 00:05:36,057
We didn't give up.
180
00:05:36,058 --> 00:05:37,182
We just never looked.
181
00:05:37,183 --> 00:05:39,224
This is your last shot.
182
00:05:39,225 --> 00:05:40,974
If you can't prove
that you're responsible,
183
00:05:40,975 --> 00:05:41,932
then you can't go to
the concert
184
00:05:41,933 --> 00:05:43,224
with your friends
next week.
185
00:05:43,225 --> 00:05:44,807
Got it?
Got it.
186
00:05:44,808 --> 00:05:46,974
This dinner we're going to
is important,
187
00:05:46,975 --> 00:05:49,182
so don't call unless
it's really an emergency.
188
00:05:49,183 --> 00:05:50,599
That means only call
from the hospital
189
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:51,766
and not just
from the waiting room.
190
00:05:51,767 --> 00:05:53,224
Call once you're admitted
191
00:05:53,225 --> 00:05:54,517
and stretched out
on one of those wheely beds.
192
00:05:57,142 --> 00:05:58,391
Wait.
You guys can't leave.
193
00:05:58,392 --> 00:05:59,599
I want to tell you
what happened on my show,
194
00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:01,266
"Adventure Cats."
195
00:06:01,267 --> 00:06:02,474
Let's get out of here
196
00:06:02,475 --> 00:06:04,432
before she recounts
every minute in real time.
197
00:06:04,433 --> 00:06:07,682
So, Captain Meowington
was leading an expedition
198
00:06:07,683 --> 00:06:10,307
down the Amazon River
on a bamboo raft...
199
00:06:10,308 --> 00:06:12,182
That's so exciting!
Go, go, go, go, go!
200
00:06:12,183 --> 00:06:15,557
And then a snake just
fell down out of the trees,
201
00:06:15,558 --> 00:06:17,849
right onto
Captain Meowington's lap.
202
00:06:17,850 --> 00:06:20,932
Oh! The snake episode!
203
00:06:20,933 --> 00:06:23,974
Oliver was just asking
how it ends.
204
00:06:23,975 --> 00:06:25,182
Tell him.
205
00:06:25,183 --> 00:06:27,850
Don't waste another minute
on us.
206
00:06:30,350 --> 00:06:33,807
All right, let's clear our heads
of all of that.
207
00:06:33,808 --> 00:06:35,599
Shake it off.
208
00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:38,266
Remember,
we don't have kids.
209
00:06:38,267 --> 00:06:39,807
Did we leave them
enough money for pizza?
210
00:06:39,808 --> 00:06:41,807
I think so.
Wrong!
211
00:06:41,808 --> 00:06:43,682
The correct answer
is "Who?"
212
00:06:43,683 --> 00:06:44,891
because
we don't have kids.
213
00:06:44,892 --> 00:06:45,891
Be better!
214
00:06:45,892 --> 00:06:47,391
Noted.
215
00:06:47,392 --> 00:06:48,641
All right,
let's do this.
Greg!
216
00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:49,432
Your keychain.
217
00:06:50,808 --> 00:06:51,974
Oh, my God!
218
00:06:54,642 --> 00:06:55,391
I'll get the spare.
219
00:06:55,392 --> 00:06:57,266
Okay.
220
00:06:57,267 --> 00:06:58,932
Anna-Kat:
Then Captain Meowington
221
00:06:58,933 --> 00:07:00,349
gave up
his rank and command
222
00:07:00,350 --> 00:07:02,307
to raise his kittens.
223
00:07:02,308 --> 00:07:03,891
Really?
I knew he had a heart of gold.
224
00:07:03,892 --> 00:07:04,724
Greg!
225
00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:06,974
Sorry about that.
226
00:07:06,975 --> 00:07:08,182
It just sounds like they're
taking a lot of risks
227
00:07:08,183 --> 00:07:09,224
in season two.
228
00:07:09,225 --> 00:07:10,224
Okay.
229
00:07:14,933 --> 00:07:16,849
Anna-Kat, dinner!
230
00:07:16,850 --> 00:07:18,432
There's a lot
riding on tonight.
231
00:07:18,433 --> 00:07:20,599
You and Anna-Kat
are my responsibility.
232
00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:23,016
Nothing can go wrong.
No one can get hurt.
233
00:07:23,017 --> 00:07:24,932
What's in it for me?
What do you mean?
234
00:07:24,933 --> 00:07:26,599
Well, you're getting
something out of this.
235
00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:27,807
I want something, too.
236
00:07:27,808 --> 00:07:29,974
What's your price?
Okay.
237
00:07:29,975 --> 00:07:32,891
I want you to do
what Mom and Dad refuse to do--
238
00:07:32,892 --> 00:07:34,641
drive me past the biggest houses
in Westport,
239
00:07:34,642 --> 00:07:36,224
slowly...
240
00:07:36,225 --> 00:07:38,391
while I look up
their value on Zillow.
241
00:07:38,392 --> 00:07:40,016
No way.
242
00:07:40,017 --> 00:07:42,932
I will break my pinkie
right now.
243
00:07:42,933 --> 00:07:44,391
Okay, fine.
244
00:07:44,392 --> 00:07:45,600
It's a deal.
Anna-Kat:
245
00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:48,516
Who's gonna wet my beak?
246
00:07:48,517 --> 00:07:49,724
What?
247
00:07:49,725 --> 00:07:50,849
Here's the thing.
248
00:07:50,850 --> 00:07:52,266
I need to write a story
249
00:07:52,267 --> 00:07:53,807
to read out loud
tomorrow night
250
00:07:53,808 --> 00:07:55,099
at the Kid Lit
assembly...
251
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:57,307
only I don't feel like
writing it.
252
00:07:57,308 --> 00:07:58,558
Do you get
what I'm saying?
253
00:07:59,183 --> 00:08:00,224
No.
254
00:08:00,225 --> 00:08:02,682
She wants you
to write the story for her.
255
00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:04,599
And you're gonna help her
because she's kind of stupid.
256
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:05,932
Okay.
257
00:08:05,933 --> 00:08:07,224
What will happen
if we don't?
258
00:08:07,225 --> 00:08:09,557
I saved some baby teeth
just for this situation.
259
00:08:09,558 --> 00:08:11,349
Ow!
260
00:08:11,350 --> 00:08:13,099
Taylor let me
jump off the counter,
261
00:08:13,100 --> 00:08:15,141
and I knocked out
my tooth!
262
00:08:15,142 --> 00:08:16,266
Happy writing.
263
00:08:20,350 --> 00:08:21,307
Whoa.
264
00:08:21,308 --> 00:08:22,932
Mmm.
265
00:08:22,933 --> 00:08:24,891
We have been big fans of
Vietnamese food
266
00:08:24,892 --> 00:08:26,224
ever since
we went backpacking
267
00:08:26,225 --> 00:08:27,682
outside of Hanoi
last summer.
268
00:08:27,683 --> 00:08:29,849
Oh, yeah, we rappelled
down a waterfall,
269
00:08:29,850 --> 00:08:32,307
explored this tunnel system,
went sand-boarding...
270
00:08:32,308 --> 00:08:34,141
Wow.
But what about you?
271
00:08:34,142 --> 00:08:35,641
I bet you guys have taken
some great trips.
272
00:08:35,642 --> 00:08:37,641
Oh, boy, have we.
273
00:08:39,225 --> 00:08:40,932
Which one do you want
to talk about first?
274
00:08:40,933 --> 00:08:42,141
Let's just
pick a favorite.
275
00:08:42,142 --> 00:08:44,599
Which one is our favorite,
Greg?
Um...
276
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,057
When was our last vacation?
277
00:08:46,058 --> 00:08:47,807
Does staying
at the Motel Six for a weekend
278
00:08:47,808 --> 00:08:49,391
after our pipes burst count?
279
00:08:49,392 --> 00:08:54,432
I think our favorite trip
probably was...
280
00:08:54,433 --> 00:08:55,849
when we went rafting
down the Amazon.
281
00:08:55,850 --> 00:08:56,807
Right, honey?
282
00:08:56,808 --> 00:08:58,057
Oh.
Whoa.
283
00:08:58,058 --> 00:09:00,057
We were
some adventurous cats,
284
00:09:00,058 --> 00:09:01,849
weren't we, Katie?
285
00:09:01,850 --> 00:09:04,224
That's right.
286
00:09:04,225 --> 00:09:06,766
We were on bamboo rafts.
287
00:09:06,767 --> 00:09:09,224
Yeah, our captain Me-Ow
warned us
288
00:09:09,225 --> 00:09:11,557
that it wasn't a trip.
289
00:09:11,558 --> 00:09:12,974
It was an exercise
in survival.
290
00:09:12,975 --> 00:09:14,557
We were
admiring the scenery,
291
00:09:14,558 --> 00:09:17,182
when this giant snake
dropped down from the trees.
292
00:09:17,183 --> 00:09:18,474
Whoa.
So what'd you guys do?
293
00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:21,474
What did we do?
294
00:09:21,475 --> 00:09:23,266
My instincts
just kicked in,
295
00:09:23,267 --> 00:09:24,474
and I punched it
in the face.
296
00:09:24,475 --> 00:09:26,016
Knocked it out cold.
297
00:09:26,017 --> 00:09:27,016
Our Captain Me-Ow...
298
00:09:27,017 --> 00:09:28,516
Who turned out to be
a real sweetheart...
299
00:09:28,517 --> 00:09:29,557
...skinned it,
cooked it up.
300
00:09:29,558 --> 00:09:30,932
Best dinner we ever had.
301
00:09:30,933 --> 00:09:33,599
Whoa.
I'm so jealous.
302
00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:35,224
Somebody
is allergic to snake.
303
00:09:40,058 --> 00:09:41,932
So, we heard about
this place in town
304
00:09:41,933 --> 00:09:43,432
that serves
bespoke cocktails.
305
00:09:43,433 --> 00:09:44,724
Just pick a night
and we're there.
306
00:09:44,725 --> 00:09:45,891
The night is now!
307
00:09:45,892 --> 00:09:46,975
We'll get the coats.
308
00:09:48,683 --> 00:09:50,182
Are they serious?
It's almost 9:30.
309
00:09:50,183 --> 00:09:52,432
We're already
pushing our bedtime.
I know.
310
00:09:52,433 --> 00:09:54,349
We should be in bed
with me putting stuff
in my Amazon cart
311
00:09:54,350 --> 00:09:55,932
and you telling me
not to push the buy button.
312
00:09:55,933 --> 00:09:57,516
If we go to this bar,
we still have to wake up early
313
00:09:57,517 --> 00:09:58,682
and deal with the kids,
314
00:09:58,683 --> 00:09:59,974
and I have to help
Anna-Kat with her story.
315
00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:01,099
If we don't
go to this bar,
316
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:02,599
they could meet
a real kid-less couple
317
00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:04,182
who knows what the hell
bespoke cocktails actually are.
318
00:10:04,183 --> 00:10:05,557
We could lose them,
Greg.
319
00:10:05,558 --> 00:10:06,891
Come on.
320
00:10:06,892 --> 00:10:08,724
We never
put ourselves first.
321
00:10:08,725 --> 00:10:10,432
Let's do something for us
for a change.
322
00:10:10,433 --> 00:10:12,307
All right, let's do it.
323
00:10:12,308 --> 00:10:14,141
Look out, 11:00,
here come the Ottos!
324
00:10:21,517 --> 00:10:23,724
Last night was fun.
The Ottos saw midnight.
325
00:10:23,725 --> 00:10:26,182
Then I took a brief micro nap
in the ladies room to rally,
326
00:10:26,183 --> 00:10:27,724
and then we saw 12:45.
327
00:10:27,725 --> 00:10:28,641
Do you think
that they liked us?
328
00:10:28,642 --> 00:10:30,057
I hope so.
329
00:10:30,058 --> 00:10:31,182
What happens now?
Do we call them?
330
00:10:31,183 --> 00:10:32,474
I don't know
how this works.
331
00:10:35,642 --> 00:10:36,641
It's not me! It's you!
332
00:10:36,642 --> 00:10:37,933
Help me find my phone!
333
00:10:40,433 --> 00:10:41,432
Call it!
334
00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:42,974
Wait. It's in my hand.
335
00:10:42,975 --> 00:10:44,391
It's a text from Zach!
336
00:10:44,392 --> 00:10:45,932
They don't play games!
They had fun!
337
00:10:45,933 --> 00:10:47,516
What did they say exactly?
"We had fun!"
338
00:10:47,517 --> 00:10:49,016
Yes!
339
00:10:49,017 --> 00:10:51,224
Anna-Kat: Mama,
where's my clean underwear?
340
00:10:51,225 --> 00:10:53,099
Never mind.
Going inside-out.
341
00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:53,974
Ugh, back to reality.
342
00:10:53,975 --> 00:10:55,266
I got to go make breakfast,
343
00:10:55,267 --> 00:10:57,224
and you need to help Anna-Kat
with her story.
344
00:10:57,225 --> 00:10:58,432
I'm texting him back.
What do you think of this?
345
00:10:58,433 --> 00:10:59,641
"We had fun, too.
346
00:10:59,642 --> 00:11:00,932
Love you guys.
347
00:11:00,933 --> 00:11:02,307
Regards, Greg"?
348
00:11:02,308 --> 00:11:04,599
That is terrible,
but reassuring.
349
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:05,849
You have no future
in online dating.
350
00:11:05,850 --> 00:11:07,099
You're stuck with me
forever.
351
00:11:14,308 --> 00:11:16,432
So, how did it go
last night?
352
00:11:16,433 --> 00:11:17,849
Perfect.
353
00:11:17,850 --> 00:11:19,807
You know I'd love to throw
this one under the bus,
354
00:11:19,808 --> 00:11:21,432
but she did great.
355
00:11:21,433 --> 00:11:22,807
Anna-Kat:
It's true, Mama.
356
00:11:22,808 --> 00:11:24,766
They spent the whole time
helping me with my story
357
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:26,432
for the Kid Lit assembly
tonight.
358
00:11:26,433 --> 00:11:27,766
I thought I was gonna
help you with that.
359
00:11:27,767 --> 00:11:29,766
Guess you don't
need to anymore.
360
00:11:29,767 --> 00:11:31,349
Are you seeing this?
361
00:11:31,350 --> 00:11:33,682
Yeah, we stepped back,
and they're fine without us.
362
00:11:33,683 --> 00:11:35,308
What are we gonna do with
all our newfound free time?
363
00:11:38,392 --> 00:11:40,349
But we're already dressed
for the day--
364
00:11:40,350 --> 00:11:41,724
What am I saying?
Who cares?
365
00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:47,224
Story time.
Let me hear what you got.
366
00:11:47,225 --> 00:11:48,849
Okay, so we have
a couple of options
367
00:11:48,850 --> 00:11:50,016
for you to choose from.
368
00:11:50,017 --> 00:11:52,391
The first is a story
about friendship,
369
00:11:52,392 --> 00:11:54,099
and it starts
with two brown bears--
370
00:11:54,100 --> 00:11:55,182
Pass.
What's next?
371
00:11:55,183 --> 00:11:57,724
Well, we have another one
about a mouse
372
00:11:57,725 --> 00:11:59,474
who's trying to track down
a missing skateboard.
373
00:11:59,475 --> 00:12:01,057
No, too cute.
374
00:12:01,058 --> 00:12:02,307
But you watch
"Adventure Cats,"
375
00:12:02,308 --> 00:12:03,516
and that's
all about kittens.
376
00:12:03,517 --> 00:12:05,432
I just watch that
to unwind.
377
00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:07,849
Here are a few things
I want in my story--
378
00:12:07,850 --> 00:12:11,141
The Donner Party,
flesh-eating super-viruses,
379
00:12:11,142 --> 00:12:12,557
and dandelions.
380
00:12:12,558 --> 00:12:14,141
What do those even
have to do with each other?
381
00:12:14,142 --> 00:12:16,099
Seems like
a writer problem.
382
00:12:16,100 --> 00:12:17,474
Make it work.
383
00:12:24,392 --> 00:12:26,641
And Zach and Courtney took us
to this cool restaurant,
384
00:12:26,642 --> 00:12:28,349
then to a secret bar,
and get this--
385
00:12:28,350 --> 00:12:31,724
this morning,
Greg and I even had sex.
386
00:12:31,725 --> 00:12:33,057
Morning sex?
387
00:12:33,058 --> 00:12:35,057
Okay, quick question.
388
00:12:35,058 --> 00:12:36,266
Was the bed already made,
389
00:12:36,267 --> 00:12:38,266
and if so,
did you then remake it?
390
00:12:38,267 --> 00:12:40,432
I'm telling you,
hanging out with this couple
391
00:12:40,433 --> 00:12:42,099
reminded us
that we once had a life
392
00:12:42,100 --> 00:12:43,099
outside of our kids.
393
00:12:43,100 --> 00:12:44,516
Well,
enjoy it while you can.
394
00:12:44,517 --> 00:12:45,891
Take it
from a single mom--
395
00:12:45,892 --> 00:12:47,224
you can only
hide your kids
396
00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:48,974
from the people you're dating
for so long.
397
00:12:48,975 --> 00:12:51,099
'Cause when they find out,
they'll dump you.
398
00:12:51,100 --> 00:12:52,557
Because you're not
spontaneous.
399
00:12:52,558 --> 00:12:53,891
And you can't
go to Nantucket
400
00:12:53,892 --> 00:12:55,766
because you got a kid
that didn't listen to you
401
00:12:55,767 --> 00:12:57,807
and went outside
without a jacket
and got sick,
402
00:12:57,808 --> 00:12:59,724
so now you're staying home
while she's at a beachhouse
403
00:12:59,725 --> 00:13:01,932
with some bitch
named Ruth.
404
00:13:01,933 --> 00:13:03,974
Don't worry.
We have a plan.
405
00:13:03,975 --> 00:13:05,474
We're gonna
get them invested
406
00:13:05,475 --> 00:13:06,807
in a fake version
of ourselves,
407
00:13:06,808 --> 00:13:08,349
then,
when they fall in love,
408
00:13:08,350 --> 00:13:10,182
we're gonna reveal
our three little flaws.
409
00:13:10,183 --> 00:13:12,224
Oh! I did the same thing
with Richard.
410
00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:14,057
I let him believe
I was nice.
411
00:13:14,058 --> 00:13:15,807
There's no way
some bitch named "Ruth"
412
00:13:15,808 --> 00:13:16,891
is hotter than I am.
413
00:13:16,892 --> 00:13:18,141
Not possible.
414
00:13:26,850 --> 00:13:28,057
The kids are really
getting along.
415
00:13:28,058 --> 00:13:29,641
Don't talk about it.
You'll jinx it.
416
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:31,224
You said our kids
had great taste in music,
417
00:13:31,225 --> 00:13:33,016
then it was "Call Me Maybe"
for a whole year.
418
00:13:33,017 --> 00:13:34,307
Let's take advantage
of this
419
00:13:34,308 --> 00:13:36,432
and have Taylor watch the kids
again tonight.
420
00:13:36,433 --> 00:13:38,099
We can't. We have Anna-Kat's
Lit assembly at 6:00.
421
00:13:38,100 --> 00:13:40,516
Aw, man.
I forgot about that.
422
00:13:40,517 --> 00:13:43,016
Anna-Kat, how many kids
are reading tonight?
423
00:13:43,017 --> 00:13:45,099
There are
24 kids in my class,
424
00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:47,349
but there are two classes,
so 48.
425
00:13:47,350 --> 00:13:49,308
So fun!
426
00:13:50,725 --> 00:13:51,932
If I take off running
right now,
427
00:13:51,933 --> 00:13:53,349
I can get home, pack,
428
00:13:53,350 --> 00:13:54,766
and be in Canada
by tomorrow morning.
429
00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:56,224
You are not going to Canada.
430
00:13:56,225 --> 00:13:57,724
Get out of my head, man.
431
00:13:57,725 --> 00:14:00,099
I'm really excited
for you to hear my story.
432
00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:01,391
It's pretty amazing.
433
00:14:01,392 --> 00:14:02,974
It better be amazing,
434
00:14:02,975 --> 00:14:05,349
or I'll lock myself
in my toy chest
435
00:14:05,350 --> 00:14:07,432
and say that you kept me there
all night.
436
00:14:07,433 --> 00:14:08,974
You wouldn't.
437
00:14:08,975 --> 00:14:10,266
Oh, yeah?
438
00:14:10,267 --> 00:14:12,557
"It's so dark in here.
439
00:14:12,558 --> 00:14:14,057
I can't... breathe!"
440
00:14:16,433 --> 00:14:18,392
Now give me a taste
of your ice cream.
441
00:14:19,017 --> 00:14:20,557
Aww, they're sharing.
442
00:14:20,558 --> 00:14:21,849
We're Parents of the Year.
443
00:14:21,850 --> 00:14:23,475
Oh, crap, Greg!
Look!
444
00:14:24,392 --> 00:14:26,016
We can't be seen
with these jokers.
445
00:14:26,017 --> 00:14:27,266
Guys, who wants candy?
446
00:14:27,267 --> 00:14:28,516
You always say
447
00:14:28,517 --> 00:14:30,641
we're not allowed to have
two sweets in one day.
448
00:14:30,642 --> 00:14:32,557
Young lady, when your father
tells you to eat candy,
449
00:14:32,558 --> 00:14:33,350
you eat candy.
450
00:14:33,933 --> 00:14:35,100
Come on, come on!
451
00:14:38,975 --> 00:14:40,142
Anna-Kat's sweater!
452
00:14:41,142 --> 00:14:43,016
Oh, I think
you dropped this.
453
00:14:43,017 --> 00:14:44,932
You dropped it.
454
00:14:44,933 --> 00:14:46,932
Hey, look!
Hey!
455
00:14:46,933 --> 00:14:48,224
It's our new
best friends!
456
00:14:48,225 --> 00:14:49,849
Hey, guys!
457
00:14:49,850 --> 00:14:51,224
Just taking
a leisurely stroll.
458
00:14:51,225 --> 00:14:53,182
Just the two of us,
which we do every day.
459
00:14:53,183 --> 00:14:55,182
'Cause we have the time.
460
00:14:56,350 --> 00:14:57,599
We were just about
to call you guys.
461
00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:58,849
Oh, yeah!
462
00:14:58,850 --> 00:14:59,891
Yeah,
we decided to head up
463
00:14:59,892 --> 00:15:01,182
to our ski house
in New Hampshire.
464
00:15:01,183 --> 00:15:02,599
Hit the hot tub,
snowmobile in the morning,
465
00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:03,682
and then head back
tomorrow.
466
00:15:03,683 --> 00:15:04,891
Classic H-T-Sno-mo.
467
00:15:04,892 --> 00:15:06,099
Sounds amazing!
468
00:15:06,100 --> 00:15:07,349
We'd love for you guys
to come
469
00:15:07,350 --> 00:15:08,766
if you don't already
have plans tonight.
470
00:15:08,767 --> 00:15:10,307
Did we have something
we were supposed to do?
471
00:15:10,308 --> 00:15:11,682
Something about
an up-and-coming
authors symposium?
472
00:15:11,683 --> 00:15:13,307
Oh, yeah.
473
00:15:13,308 --> 00:15:14,849
Oh, shoot.
Well, I guess we could ask--
474
00:15:14,850 --> 00:15:16,349
No, no, no!
We're in!
475
00:15:16,350 --> 00:15:17,641
Oh. Okay, great.
Hey, I'll text you
the address.
476
00:15:17,642 --> 00:15:18,600
Great.
All right.
477
00:15:19,558 --> 00:15:21,141
An overnighter.
478
00:15:21,142 --> 00:15:23,182
This is the way
relationships are cemented.
479
00:15:23,183 --> 00:15:24,766
Would it be lame if I wore
a T-shirt in the hot tub?
480
00:15:24,767 --> 00:15:25,724
Yeah.
481
00:15:26,975 --> 00:15:29,557
Anna-Kat:
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
482
00:15:29,558 --> 00:15:31,350
I think she's probably
had enough sugar.
483
00:15:37,142 --> 00:15:38,766
I know it's just
a kid-free night
484
00:15:38,767 --> 00:15:40,057
with new friends
in a new place,
485
00:15:40,058 --> 00:15:41,557
but I'm super-excited.
Me too.
486
00:15:41,558 --> 00:15:44,016
Are these good lounge-around-
the-ski-lodge pants,
487
00:15:44,017 --> 00:15:45,266
or do they look
too much like pajamas?
488
00:15:45,267 --> 00:15:46,641
They're good.
But wear underwear.
489
00:15:46,642 --> 00:15:47,724
Reduce floppage.
490
00:15:47,725 --> 00:15:48,724
Yes.
491
00:15:48,725 --> 00:15:50,141
I refuse to feel guilty
492
00:15:50,142 --> 00:15:51,307
for missing
Anna-Kat's reading tonight.
493
00:15:51,308 --> 00:15:53,724
We have a responsibility
to ourselves,
494
00:15:53,725 --> 00:15:55,182
to our relationship,
495
00:15:55,183 --> 00:15:58,057
to the Gods of Spontaneous
Marital Morning Sex.
496
00:15:58,058 --> 00:16:00,432
I love those guys.
I love you guys!
497
00:16:00,433 --> 00:16:01,932
Half of the parents
in this town
498
00:16:01,933 --> 00:16:03,099
spend zero time
with their kids.
499
00:16:03,100 --> 00:16:04,516
Then they put on
this big show
500
00:16:04,517 --> 00:16:06,099
by going to
every last school event,
501
00:16:06,100 --> 00:16:07,349
like that makes them
good parents.
502
00:16:07,350 --> 00:16:08,307
That's what they do.
503
00:16:08,308 --> 00:16:09,807
That's totally
what they do.
504
00:16:09,808 --> 00:16:11,724
They're like, "Ooh!
I'm such a good mother!
505
00:16:11,725 --> 00:16:14,016
The nanny feeds them,
the maid cleans up after them,
506
00:16:14,017 --> 00:16:15,849
but I'm here at the stupid
Kid Lit Festival."
507
00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:17,516
"Ooh,
I'm an awesome dad,
508
00:16:17,517 --> 00:16:19,099
I play 72 holes of golf
a week
509
00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:21,224
and read texts when my kids
are trying to talk to me,
510
00:16:21,225 --> 00:16:22,516
but look at me now!
511
00:16:22,517 --> 00:16:23,557
I'm in the front row,
512
00:16:23,558 --> 00:16:24,974
taping the whole thing
on my phone
513
00:16:24,975 --> 00:16:26,849
like I'm not
a total douche."
514
00:16:26,850 --> 00:16:28,807
And that's
not parenting.
515
00:16:28,808 --> 00:16:30,182
It most certainly
is not.
516
00:16:30,183 --> 00:16:32,766
Parenting is the daily grind
of caring for kids
517
00:16:32,767 --> 00:16:33,932
while doing
the painstaking work
518
00:16:33,933 --> 00:16:34,682
of shaping
their character.
519
00:16:34,683 --> 00:16:36,182
That's what we do.
520
00:16:36,183 --> 00:16:37,682
That's all we do, Greg.
521
00:16:37,683 --> 00:16:39,224
That is our entire life.
522
00:16:39,225 --> 00:16:41,057
In fact, one could argue
that by skipping this event,
523
00:16:41,058 --> 00:16:42,516
we're teaching Anna-Kat
a lesson in independence.
524
00:16:42,517 --> 00:16:44,141
Yes.
525
00:16:44,142 --> 00:16:46,099
By going away, we're actually
being there for her more
526
00:16:46,100 --> 00:16:46,807
than if we stayed.
527
00:16:46,808 --> 00:16:48,432
I buy that.
528
00:16:48,433 --> 00:16:49,932
So, for real, what happens
when Anna-Kat's onstage
529
00:16:49,933 --> 00:16:51,432
and looks out in the audience
and we're not there?
530
00:16:51,433 --> 00:16:52,516
She'll be fine.
531
00:16:52,517 --> 00:16:53,807
We'll buy her ice cream
with extra toppings,
532
00:16:53,808 --> 00:16:54,682
and she'll get over it.
533
00:16:54,683 --> 00:16:56,016
So you're saying
534
00:16:56,017 --> 00:16:57,766
for the price of a couple
of crumbled-up Oreos,
535
00:16:57,767 --> 00:16:58,766
we can reclaim our lives?
536
00:16:58,767 --> 00:16:59,766
I'm in!
537
00:17:02,267 --> 00:17:03,682
We good to go?
538
00:17:03,683 --> 00:17:05,349
Yeah.
Everything's packed.
539
00:17:05,350 --> 00:17:07,057
Angela's gonna take the kids
to the Lit assembly
540
00:17:07,058 --> 00:17:08,432
and stay the night.
541
00:17:08,433 --> 00:17:10,016
And I told the kids
that their great aunt passed,
542
00:17:10,017 --> 00:17:11,266
and we had to go
to the funeral.
543
00:17:11,267 --> 00:17:13,391
How many great aunts
is that now?
544
00:17:13,392 --> 00:17:15,266
I think I'm up to seven,
and they still haven't noticed.
545
00:17:17,392 --> 00:17:18,432
We're on our way,
546
00:17:18,433 --> 00:17:19,724
and we don't feel guilty
at all, do we?
547
00:17:19,725 --> 00:17:21,016
Now floor it!
548
00:17:23,892 --> 00:17:25,849
We're having
such an amazing time!
549
00:17:25,850 --> 00:17:27,557
Wish you were here!
Cheers!
550
00:17:27,558 --> 00:17:29,099
Whoo!
551
00:17:30,475 --> 00:17:31,557
Remember driveway us?
552
00:17:31,558 --> 00:17:33,141
They had it all
figured out.
553
00:17:33,142 --> 00:17:34,474
Highway us,
554
00:17:34,475 --> 00:17:36,391
that's where it all
started to crumble.
555
00:17:36,392 --> 00:17:39,682
...And so, the two rabbits
sat down at the table
556
00:17:39,683 --> 00:17:40,724
and shared the carrot.
557
00:17:40,725 --> 00:17:42,099
The end.
558
00:17:44,017 --> 00:17:45,432
Well, that was awful.
559
00:17:45,433 --> 00:17:47,182
Still,
we did the right thing.
560
00:17:48,183 --> 00:17:49,807
Although the zebra
had stripes
561
00:17:49,808 --> 00:17:51,849
and the leopard had spots,
562
00:17:51,850 --> 00:17:53,641
they decided
they could still be friends.
563
00:17:53,642 --> 00:17:54,849
The end.
564
00:17:59,058 --> 00:18:00,807
Still think we did
the right thing?
565
00:18:00,808 --> 00:18:04,224
Uhhhhh...
566
00:18:04,225 --> 00:18:06,141
The sun told the cloud
to stop crying.
567
00:18:06,142 --> 00:18:07,182
It did.
568
00:18:07,183 --> 00:18:08,599
Then all
the children of the world
569
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:09,807
came out to play.
570
00:18:09,808 --> 00:18:10,932
The end.
571
00:18:15,517 --> 00:18:16,975
Principal Ablin:
Everyone having a good time?
572
00:18:18,475 --> 00:18:20,224
I sure am.
573
00:18:20,225 --> 00:18:22,349
Please welcome
Anna-Kat Otto.
574
00:18:22,350 --> 00:18:24,057
Oh.
575
00:18:30,642 --> 00:18:32,016
Once upon a time,
576
00:18:32,017 --> 00:18:33,807
when America
was a young nation,
577
00:18:33,808 --> 00:18:35,516
a family of pioneers
578
00:18:35,517 --> 00:18:37,766
decided to take a risk
and head West,
579
00:18:37,767 --> 00:18:40,057
into the new frontier...
580
00:18:40,058 --> 00:18:42,307
You are so going
to that concert with
your friends.
581
00:18:44,475 --> 00:18:46,474
Once the flesh-eating bacteria
took over the camp,
582
00:18:46,475 --> 00:18:48,016
no one was safe.
583
00:18:48,017 --> 00:18:50,349
Those who died
were actually the lucky ones.
584
00:18:50,350 --> 00:18:51,557
Those who didn't
were so hungry
585
00:18:51,558 --> 00:18:53,016
they had no choice
586
00:18:53,017 --> 00:18:54,433
but to eat
their family members...
587
00:18:55,392 --> 00:18:56,849
...and not
even dandelions
588
00:18:56,850 --> 00:18:57,892
would grow
over their graves.
589
00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:04,891
The end.
590
00:19:08,683 --> 00:19:12,766
You're so not going to that
concert with your friends.
591
00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:17,182
Are you kidding me
with that story?
592
00:19:17,183 --> 00:19:18,599
What were you two
thinking?
593
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:19,807
We tried
to pitch her bunnies.
594
00:19:19,808 --> 00:19:21,057
Yeah,
but then she got mad
595
00:19:21,058 --> 00:19:22,266
and made us
work through dinner.
596
00:19:22,267 --> 00:19:24,100
Am I the only one
who thought it went well?
597
00:19:26,683 --> 00:19:28,057
As much as
I want to blame them,
598
00:19:28,058 --> 00:19:29,266
which I really, really
want to do,
599
00:19:29,267 --> 00:19:30,807
the truth is,
600
00:19:30,808 --> 00:19:32,349
this is on us.
I know.
601
00:19:32,350 --> 00:19:33,891
We were so caught up enjoying
our kid-less life
602
00:19:33,892 --> 00:19:34,974
with our kid-less friends,
603
00:19:34,975 --> 00:19:35,891
we took our eyes
off the ball.
604
00:19:35,892 --> 00:19:37,432
I'm glad
we came to our senses.
605
00:19:37,433 --> 00:19:39,266
Did you see
Anna-Kat's face
606
00:19:39,267 --> 00:19:40,182
when she looked out
in the audience
607
00:19:40,183 --> 00:19:41,182
and saw we were there?
608
00:19:41,183 --> 00:19:42,432
Yeah.
609
00:19:42,433 --> 00:19:44,391
Maybe Highway Us knew
what they were doing.
610
00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:46,307
75% of parenting is doing stuff
you don't want to do.
611
00:19:46,308 --> 00:19:47,807
I think
it's closer to 90%.
612
00:19:47,808 --> 00:19:49,932
Good news is,
once they're out of the house,
613
00:19:49,933 --> 00:19:51,599
and it's just
the two of us again,
614
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:52,932
we know
we've still got it.
615
00:19:52,933 --> 00:19:54,517
Damn right we do.
616
00:19:56,017 --> 00:19:58,433
You guys can still have it,
just hide it.
617
00:20:00,517 --> 00:20:01,641
95%.
618
00:20:01,642 --> 00:20:02,641
Maybe higher.
619
00:20:13,183 --> 00:20:15,099
So we're just going
to come right out
620
00:20:15,100 --> 00:20:16,599
and tell them the truth--
621
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:17,599
we have kids.
Yep.
622
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:18,891
And if they want
to break up with us,
623
00:20:18,892 --> 00:20:20,016
we're not gonna beg.
624
00:20:20,017 --> 00:20:22,641
- Hey!
- Hi!
625
00:20:22,642 --> 00:20:24,641
Listen, we're so sorry
626
00:20:24,642 --> 00:20:26,224
that we had to cancel with you
last-minute.
627
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,016
We have something
we wanted to tell you,
628
00:20:28,017 --> 00:20:29,474
but we wanted to do it
in person.
629
00:20:29,475 --> 00:20:30,600
Oh. No, no, us first.
630
00:20:32,975 --> 00:20:33,849
{\an8}We're pregnant!
We're pregnant!
631
00:20:33,850 --> 00:20:36,391
{\an8}What?
Oh, my God!
632
00:20:36,392 --> 00:20:40,516
{\an8}That's amazing!
Oh, congratulations!
633
00:20:40,517 --> 00:20:41,849
{\an8}We have to celebrate!
634
00:20:41,850 --> 00:20:43,307
{\an8}Definitely.
Yes!
635
00:20:45,058 --> 00:20:47,057
{\an8}No way are we gonna be
friends with a couple
with a newborn.
636
00:20:47,058 --> 00:20:49,391
{\an8}"Look, guys,
the baby discovered its feet!"
637
00:20:49,392 --> 00:20:51,474
{\an8}Bo-ring!
Bo-ring!
45058
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