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1
00:00:08,158 --> 00:00:10,324
Did you fold
all of this?
Yep.
2
00:00:10,325 --> 00:00:12,199
It's dirty, but thank you.
3
00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:14,032
Ugh. There were so many
undies in it.
4
00:00:14,033 --> 00:00:15,075
Ugh.
5
00:00:17,367 --> 00:00:18,866
You seem relaxed.
6
00:00:18,867 --> 00:00:20,324
Must be feeling good
about your presentation
7
00:00:20,325 --> 00:00:22,199
for the Spring Gala.
It's no biggie.
8
00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:23,491
I just have to pitch
them the theme.
9
00:00:23,492 --> 00:00:24,491
Which is?
10
00:00:24,492 --> 00:00:26,491
Um...
11
00:00:26,492 --> 00:00:27,991
The presentation is today
and you don't have a theme?
12
00:00:27,992 --> 00:00:29,074
Of course I do.
13
00:00:30,575 --> 00:00:31,741
Water...
14
00:00:31,742 --> 00:00:33,282
blankets...
15
00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:34,532
Are you just looking
around the kitchen,
16
00:00:34,533 --> 00:00:35,657
calling out objects.
17
00:00:35,658 --> 00:00:36,408
No.
18
00:00:38,075 --> 00:00:39,574
Dirt.
19
00:00:39,575 --> 00:00:41,491
Sand.
20
00:00:41,492 --> 00:00:43,366
Beach blanket bingo!
21
00:00:43,367 --> 00:00:44,616
In your face!
22
00:00:44,617 --> 00:00:46,657
Why is it in my face?
Okay, picture this.
23
00:00:46,658 --> 00:00:48,866
Everyone on
giant beach towels,
24
00:00:48,867 --> 00:00:51,157
we have a picnic, and we drink
that stupid pink wine.
25
00:00:51,158 --> 00:00:52,657
Maybe steel drums...
26
00:00:52,658 --> 00:00:54,366
Rinka-tink-tink-tink.
27
00:00:54,367 --> 00:00:55,866
Tink.
28
00:00:55,867 --> 00:00:57,367
Huh. That's actually
a good idea, honey.
29
00:00:58,450 --> 00:01:00,782
That's actually
a terrible idea, honey.
30
00:01:00,783 --> 00:01:03,949
The Spring Gala is a fundraiser,
not a hoedown.
31
00:01:03,950 --> 00:01:06,157
The whole thing is about
raising money.
32
00:01:06,158 --> 00:01:08,200
You want people to
open their pockets.
33
00:01:09,825 --> 00:01:11,824
You can take the girl
out of Florida...
34
00:01:11,825 --> 00:01:13,407
Oh, great.
I was hoping
35
00:01:13,408 --> 00:01:15,366
for a smart-ass
13 year old's opinion.
36
00:01:15,367 --> 00:01:16,949
At your service.
37
00:01:16,950 --> 00:01:19,407
You need a theme to
get people spending.
38
00:01:19,408 --> 00:01:22,824
Something that says "class,"
"decadence," "money."
39
00:01:22,825 --> 00:01:24,449
Mine will have class.
40
00:01:24,450 --> 00:01:27,616
I'm gonna rename the bathrooms
"cabanas."
41
00:01:27,617 --> 00:01:28,699
Stop.
42
00:01:28,700 --> 00:01:30,157
It needs to be opulent.
43
00:01:30,158 --> 00:01:33,491
Like a "Great Gatsby" party.
Or, uh, Bollywood.
44
00:01:33,492 --> 00:01:34,991
Nothing says
"Write a big check"
45
00:01:34,992 --> 00:01:36,657
like an elephant
cloaked in velvet,
46
00:01:36,658 --> 00:01:39,407
or a one-twelfth scale Taj Mahal
made out of white chocolate.
47
00:01:39,408 --> 00:01:40,866
You know what's easier?
48
00:01:40,867 --> 00:01:42,449
Buying a bunch
of blankets.
49
00:01:42,450 --> 00:01:43,616
I'm doing this my way.
50
00:01:43,617 --> 00:01:44,824
But--
51
00:01:44,825 --> 00:01:46,407
Oh, my God.
52
00:01:46,408 --> 00:01:48,074
Yeah, blankets.
Can't miss.
53
00:01:48,075 --> 00:01:50,366
I have the perfect theme
for your Gala, Mama.
54
00:01:50,367 --> 00:01:52,199
"Let's get a dog!"
55
00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:53,449
In case I haven't
been clear,
56
00:01:53,450 --> 00:01:56,074
we are never, ever
getting a dog, ever.
57
00:01:56,075 --> 00:01:57,782
It's like having another kid,
except it sheds
58
00:01:57,783 --> 00:01:59,782
and digs tampons
out of the trash.
59
00:01:59,783 --> 00:02:01,116
Fine.
60
00:02:01,117 --> 00:02:02,907
Thanks for the backup,
Franklin.
61
00:02:02,908 --> 00:02:04,991
Where was that
"Great thinking, Anna-Kat"
62
00:02:04,992 --> 00:02:06,491
that we talked about?
63
00:02:06,492 --> 00:02:08,199
What's a tampon?
64
00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:11,032
I'm not Google,
Franklin.
65
00:02:11,033 --> 00:02:12,866
Hey, guys.
My boyfriend's here.
66
00:02:12,867 --> 00:02:14,532
Please don't
embarrass me.
Hey, Eyo.
67
00:02:14,533 --> 00:02:17,032
♪ Eyoooooo,
Eyooooo ♪
68
00:02:17,033 --> 00:02:18,282
Or just ignore me.
69
00:02:18,283 --> 00:02:20,407
Quite a set of pipes,
Mr. Otto!
70
00:02:20,408 --> 00:02:22,032
What are you guys up to?
71
00:02:22,033 --> 00:02:23,949
Taylor and I are gonna
do some English homework.
72
00:02:23,950 --> 00:02:25,324
Great.
And, Taylor, remember,
73
00:02:25,325 --> 00:02:26,532
don't copy
word-for-word.
74
00:02:26,533 --> 00:02:28,032
Mix it up
a little bit.
75
00:02:28,033 --> 00:02:29,574
I almost killed myself
76
00:02:29,575 --> 00:02:31,074
on that big box
by the door!
77
00:02:31,075 --> 00:02:32,116
It's here!
78
00:02:32,117 --> 00:02:33,532
Eyo, give me a hand.
79
00:02:33,533 --> 00:02:34,991
Dad, get friends.
80
00:02:34,992 --> 00:02:36,908
She's joking. I've got,
like, so many friends.
81
00:02:40,033 --> 00:02:41,699
I thought
I smelled kale.
82
00:02:41,700 --> 00:02:42,741
What do you want,
Tara?
83
00:02:42,742 --> 00:02:43,824
Just making sure
everything's safe
84
00:02:43,825 --> 00:02:45,782
in this lawless house.
85
00:02:45,783 --> 00:02:47,866
I trust you have
a vegan lunch option for Eyo.
86
00:02:47,867 --> 00:02:50,574
We're vegan now.
Tara, you're already
the worst.
87
00:02:50,575 --> 00:02:51,907
Stop trying so hard.
88
00:02:51,908 --> 00:02:54,074
Okay, coming through.
89
00:02:54,075 --> 00:02:55,741
Oh.
90
00:02:55,742 --> 00:02:56,741
Here we go.
91
00:02:56,742 --> 00:02:57,782
Oh!
92
00:02:57,783 --> 00:02:59,200
Okay, good.
That needed to be broken.
93
00:03:00,408 --> 00:03:01,782
So did the piano.
94
00:03:01,783 --> 00:03:02,699
And your shoe.
95
00:03:02,700 --> 00:03:04,491
Your shoe just fell off.
96
00:03:04,492 --> 00:03:06,491
And if you could dent the door
on your way out,
97
00:03:06,492 --> 00:03:07,407
that'd be great.
98
00:03:08,533 --> 00:03:09,657
Yeah, one second.
99
00:03:09,658 --> 00:03:10,782
Who are you
talking to?
100
00:03:10,783 --> 00:03:11,657
It's Nunya.
101
00:03:11,658 --> 00:03:13,157
Who's that?
102
00:03:13,158 --> 00:03:14,949
Nunya business.
103
00:03:14,950 --> 00:03:16,074
One of these days,
I'm gonna realize
104
00:03:16,075 --> 00:03:17,949
that "nunya"
isn't a person.
105
00:03:17,950 --> 00:03:20,866
So, have you picked out your
theme yet for the Spring Gala?
106
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:22,282
Because I have
a suggestion.
107
00:03:22,283 --> 00:03:25,366
Call it, "Katie" colon
"The Great Failure" comma
108
00:03:25,367 --> 00:03:28,157
"Everyone Saw it Coming"
dash dash "She Sucks."
109
00:03:28,158 --> 00:03:29,741
I got it covered,
Tara.
110
00:03:29,742 --> 00:03:31,366
I'm thinking
"Beef Jerky,"
111
00:03:31,367 --> 00:03:35,616
"The Final Frontier"
or "Mmm, Meat."
112
00:03:35,617 --> 00:03:36,907
I'm leaving.
113
00:03:36,908 --> 00:03:39,157
Call or text
or e-mail
114
00:03:39,158 --> 00:03:41,699
or post on Facebook
if Eyo needs anything.
115
00:03:41,700 --> 00:03:45,782
Here's his EpiPen
and some toilet seat covers.
116
00:03:45,783 --> 00:03:48,491
You send toilet seat covers
with him everywhere he goes?
117
00:03:48,492 --> 00:03:49,533
No.
118
00:03:51,158 --> 00:03:53,699
Good slam, Tara.
Here's mine.
119
00:04:05,117 --> 00:04:06,574
{\an8}While I've got you here,
I wonder if you might
120
00:04:06,575 --> 00:04:08,741
{\an8}put in a good word
with Taylor about college.
121
00:04:08,742 --> 00:04:10,616
{\an8}Sure. Probably would
have come up anyway.
122
00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:11,824
{\an8}School's the best!
123
00:04:11,825 --> 00:04:13,782
{\an8}Thanks. Great talk.
124
00:04:13,783 --> 00:04:16,324
{\an8}Sorry we're standing
closer than I expected.
125
00:04:16,325 --> 00:04:18,116
{\an8}Hi, Mrs. Otto.
How are you?
126
00:04:18,117 --> 00:04:19,782
{\an8}Saw you
three minutes ago.
127
00:04:19,783 --> 00:04:23,032
{\an8}Hey, you with the box,
is this our next fight?
128
00:04:23,033 --> 00:04:25,241
You're gonna love it.
It's a roasting box.
129
00:04:25,242 --> 00:04:26,324
You can cook a whole pig
in here.
130
00:04:26,325 --> 00:04:28,407
{\an8}I saw one on
Anthony Bourdain's show.
131
00:04:28,408 --> 00:04:30,074
{\an8}He was in Guatemala
cooking with the locals.
132
00:04:30,075 --> 00:04:31,324
{\an8}He was wearing
a tank top.
133
00:04:31,325 --> 00:04:32,491
{\an8}Oh, Greg,
would you please,
134
00:04:32,492 --> 00:04:34,866
{\an8}for me, watch something
with dragons?
135
00:04:34,867 --> 00:04:36,199
{\an8}Once I fire this up,
you're gonna realize
136
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,074
{\an8}we need a Caja China
roasting box.
137
00:04:38,075 --> 00:04:41,324
{\an8}No. I need to change
our Amazon password.
Think about it.
138
00:04:41,325 --> 00:04:43,282
{\an8}We could finally have a barbecue
for all our friends.
139
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,241
{\an8}So...
140
00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:46,032
{\an8}Angela and Doris?
141
00:04:46,033 --> 00:04:48,616
How long does it take
to cook a pig?
Just half a day.
142
00:04:48,617 --> 00:04:50,491
As long as I constantly
monitor it, stoke the coals,
143
00:04:50,492 --> 00:04:52,491
and make sure the temperature
remains exactly correct.
144
00:04:52,492 --> 00:04:53,741
{\an8}We both know that this
is going to end
145
00:04:53,742 --> 00:04:55,657
{\an8}with Anna-Kat forcing us
to have a funeral
146
00:04:55,658 --> 00:04:57,699
{\an8}for a partially-cooked
pig carcass,
147
00:04:57,700 --> 00:04:59,532
{\an8}and I can't fit into
my funeral dress right now.
148
00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:00,741
I don't need this,
Greg.
Yeah, but--
149
00:05:00,742 --> 00:05:02,241
{\an8}I'm afraid I have
to shut this down.
150
00:05:02,242 --> 00:05:04,116
{\an8}But--
I'm shutting it down.
151
00:05:04,117 --> 00:05:05,574
{\an8}You're probably right.
152
00:05:05,575 --> 00:05:07,200
{\an8}I don't really have the arms
for a tank top anyway.
153
00:05:09,658 --> 00:05:12,407
{\an8}"No, honey, you definitely
have the arms for a tank top."
154
00:05:12,408 --> 00:05:14,116
Well, I think
it could be fun.
155
00:05:14,117 --> 00:05:15,616
It's a bad idea,
Franklin.
156
00:05:15,617 --> 00:05:17,991
It's a hard "no."
Discussion's over.
157
00:05:17,992 --> 00:05:19,074
But--
158
00:05:19,075 --> 00:05:20,450
I said over.
159
00:05:22,158 --> 00:05:23,949
I guess you're right.
160
00:05:23,950 --> 00:05:25,907
Anna-Kat, can we talk
to you in my office?
161
00:05:25,908 --> 00:05:27,282
Uh-oh.
162
00:05:27,283 --> 00:05:28,907
Franklin, this might
be a while.
163
00:05:28,908 --> 00:05:30,824
If you still need
to go number two,
164
00:05:30,825 --> 00:05:31,783
here's your window.
165
00:05:34,783 --> 00:05:36,032
Your parents like me?
166
00:05:36,033 --> 00:05:37,491
Let's see who you've
been talking to.
Hey!
167
00:05:37,492 --> 00:05:39,157
Alice McCarthy?!
168
00:05:39,158 --> 00:05:40,199
I thought
she dumped you!
169
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,574
Are you crazy?
170
00:05:42,575 --> 00:05:43,866
Alice McCarthy?
171
00:05:43,867 --> 00:05:45,157
Yeah, I thought he
stopped picking up
172
00:05:45,158 --> 00:05:46,782
what she was putting down.
173
00:05:46,783 --> 00:05:47,741
Did I say that right?
174
00:05:47,742 --> 00:05:49,782
Yeah.
175
00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:52,241
Do I have to be
here for this?
Sit.
176
00:05:52,242 --> 00:05:54,116
You were very rude
to Franklin.
177
00:05:54,117 --> 00:05:55,741
But I didn't
like his idea.
178
00:05:55,742 --> 00:05:58,032
You can't shut
people down like that.
179
00:05:58,033 --> 00:05:59,283
Where did you
get that from?
180
00:06:01,283 --> 00:06:02,491
Why are you
looking at me?
181
00:06:02,492 --> 00:06:04,157
If you keep rejecting
people's ideas,
182
00:06:04,158 --> 00:06:05,616
they won't
be your friend.
183
00:06:05,617 --> 00:06:07,407
That's true, honey.
It's important that we support
184
00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:09,657
the people
we care about. Okay?
185
00:06:09,658 --> 00:06:11,241
Okay.
So, for instance,
186
00:06:11,242 --> 00:06:12,574
if Franklin loved
Anthony Bourdain
187
00:06:12,575 --> 00:06:13,782
and wanted to throw
a pig roast...
188
00:06:13,783 --> 00:06:15,824
Oh, that's why you
were looking at me.
189
00:06:15,825 --> 00:06:17,074
...what would you
say to him?
190
00:06:17,075 --> 00:06:18,782
I'd say,
"Weird, Franklin,
191
00:06:18,783 --> 00:06:20,657
but it sounds like
a great idea"?
192
00:06:20,658 --> 00:06:22,991
Right. And what would
you say, Katie?
193
00:06:22,992 --> 00:06:25,491
I would be forced to say,
194
00:06:25,492 --> 00:06:27,866
"That sounds like
a great idea," too.
195
00:06:27,867 --> 00:06:29,157
So, it's settled.
We're gonna have a barbecue
196
00:06:29,158 --> 00:06:30,449
for all our friends!
197
00:06:30,450 --> 00:06:31,282
So...
198
00:06:31,283 --> 00:06:32,325
Angela and Doris?
199
00:06:39,617 --> 00:06:41,574
You know, you can roast
18 whole chickens in here?
200
00:06:41,575 --> 00:06:43,449
18? Oh, thank God.
201
00:06:43,450 --> 00:06:44,824
I was worried what would
happen if we had to cook
202
00:06:44,825 --> 00:06:46,366
17 more than usual.
203
00:06:46,367 --> 00:06:47,407
You know, Katie,
204
00:06:47,408 --> 00:06:49,074
this is where Anna-Kat
gets it from.
205
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,782
She sees you shutting down
my ideas
206
00:06:50,783 --> 00:06:53,032
and does the same thing
to poor, defenseless Franklin.
207
00:06:53,033 --> 00:06:56,491
Yeah, but she also
has my winning smile.
208
00:06:56,492 --> 00:06:58,032
Ding.
I'm serious.
209
00:06:58,033 --> 00:07:00,324
You need to just say "okay" to
me sometimes, like I do for you.
210
00:07:00,325 --> 00:07:02,449
I say "okay" to you
all the time.
211
00:07:02,450 --> 00:07:04,282
Yeah, but that's because
my ideas are always good.
212
00:07:04,283 --> 00:07:05,449
Really?
213
00:07:05,450 --> 00:07:06,866
Pull that thing off
the steering wheel.
214
00:07:06,867 --> 00:07:07,532
It's driving me crazy.
215
00:07:07,533 --> 00:07:09,699
Okay.
216
00:07:10,950 --> 00:07:12,199
It wasn't funny.
217
00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:13,824
I know. I know.
218
00:07:13,825 --> 00:07:15,907
It was just the look on
your face when it hit you.
219
00:07:15,908 --> 00:07:19,657
I'm sorry.
220
00:07:19,658 --> 00:07:21,824
I'm just saying it wouldn't
hurt if, once in a while,
221
00:07:21,825 --> 00:07:24,116
you supported me the way
that I support you.
222
00:07:24,117 --> 00:07:26,907
Fine, I'll okay this,
but--
No. No.
223
00:07:26,908 --> 00:07:29,199
No "Okay, buts."
Just, "Okay."
224
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:31,407
Ohh-kaaay.
You know what?
225
00:07:31,408 --> 00:07:32,699
You can't say it like that.
Not sing-songy.
226
00:07:32,700 --> 00:07:34,074
Sorry.
This is new to me.
227
00:07:34,075 --> 00:07:36,657
It's very hard to suppress
my natural critical instincts.
228
00:07:36,658 --> 00:07:38,491
But fine.
229
00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:40,282
I'm saying...
230
00:07:40,283 --> 00:07:41,616
okay.
231
00:07:41,617 --> 00:07:43,532
Thank you.
232
00:07:43,533 --> 00:07:45,241
Now, do you want to practice
your presentation
233
00:07:45,242 --> 00:07:47,699
for the Spring Gala?
Eh. I'll just wing it.
234
00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:49,491
The school takes these
events very seriously.
235
00:07:49,492 --> 00:07:51,407
Maybe winging it
isn't the best idea.
236
00:07:51,408 --> 00:07:53,199
Hey, if I can't second-guess
your pig coffin,
237
00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:55,866
there's no way you're allowed
to second-guess me on this.
238
00:07:55,867 --> 00:07:59,324
Ohh-kaaay.
239
00:07:59,325 --> 00:08:01,241
Yeah, I can see
how that's annoying.
240
00:08:01,242 --> 00:08:02,657
Mm.
241
00:08:05,617 --> 00:08:07,991
But it's not so easy
being supportive of him.
242
00:08:07,992 --> 00:08:10,116
And I don't have a good
supportive smile.
243
00:08:10,117 --> 00:08:11,282
It looks like there's
a gun to my head
244
00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:12,616
and I'm trying to
convince the police
245
00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:14,282
that there's not
an intruder inside.
246
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,366
What you need
is one of these.
247
00:08:18,367 --> 00:08:19,824
It's a complaint
bracelet.
248
00:08:19,825 --> 00:08:21,616
I read about it
in Good Housekeeping.
249
00:08:21,617 --> 00:08:22,949
Every time you want to
scream at your husband
250
00:08:22,950 --> 00:08:25,574
for some boneheaded idea...
251
00:08:25,575 --> 00:08:26,491
...you snap it...
252
00:08:26,492 --> 00:08:27,782
so you don't snap
at him for buying
253
00:08:27,783 --> 00:08:30,282
thousands of dollars
of movie memorabilia.
254
00:08:39,575 --> 00:08:40,991
Does that work?
255
00:08:40,992 --> 00:08:42,699
He's a pain in the ass
and I'm a living nightmare--
256
00:08:42,700 --> 00:08:43,907
still married!
257
00:08:43,908 --> 00:08:45,157
I love it.
258
00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:47,032
I gotta get one.
Oh, take mine.
259
00:08:47,033 --> 00:08:48,657
I get a new shipment
every week.
260
00:08:48,658 --> 00:08:51,324
Mm. Maybe it'll also help you
deal with the Spring Gala.
261
00:08:51,325 --> 00:08:52,907
I am not one of
those uptight moms.
262
00:08:52,908 --> 00:08:54,699
It is a party,
and it's six months away.
263
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,616
I'm not gonna let these people
drive me crazy.
264
00:08:56,617 --> 00:08:58,532
That's what last year's
Spring Gala chairwoman,
265
00:08:58,533 --> 00:08:59,699
Stacy Clouser, said.
266
00:08:59,700 --> 00:09:00,991
Then she had a nervous
breakdown,
267
00:09:00,992 --> 00:09:02,574
had to move in
with her parents
268
00:09:02,575 --> 00:09:05,157
and now isn't allowed
to have stuffed animals.
269
00:09:05,158 --> 00:09:06,866
Because she eats them.
270
00:09:06,867 --> 00:09:08,574
That's not gonna
happen to me.
271
00:09:08,575 --> 00:09:10,782
Okay, and now you're
being annoying.
272
00:09:10,783 --> 00:09:12,532
Which reminds me of Greg.
273
00:09:12,533 --> 00:09:13,991
Which reminds me...
274
00:09:13,992 --> 00:09:15,741
You're the guests of honor
at Greg's barbecue.
275
00:09:15,742 --> 00:09:17,241
And by "honor"
276
00:09:17,242 --> 00:09:18,950
I mean you're
the only guests.
277
00:09:22,742 --> 00:09:24,991
All right, it's all set.
Now I just need the pig.
278
00:09:24,992 --> 00:09:28,574
Okay, sounds great.
279
00:09:28,575 --> 00:09:31,491
Why are you allowing this?
What does he have on you?
280
00:09:31,492 --> 00:09:33,616
Your dad asked if we
could throw a barbecue,
281
00:09:33,617 --> 00:09:36,032
and I said... okay.
282
00:09:36,033 --> 00:09:37,866
See? It's important
to be supportive
283
00:09:37,867 --> 00:09:39,117
of your friends' ideas.
284
00:09:40,617 --> 00:09:43,324
Then we should be supportive
of my idea to get a dog.
285
00:09:43,325 --> 00:09:45,032
I'm not your friend.
I'm your mother.
286
00:09:45,033 --> 00:09:46,741
We'll be friends when
you're old enough to drink.
287
00:09:47,783 --> 00:09:49,699
Ooh, Alice.
I got to take this.
288
00:09:49,700 --> 00:09:50,907
Go for Oliver.
289
00:09:50,908 --> 00:09:52,158
Unh-unh!
290
00:09:54,283 --> 00:09:56,282
What have you done?!
She's bad news.
291
00:09:56,283 --> 00:09:57,824
She broke your heart
when she chose that
292
00:09:57,825 --> 00:09:59,449
hunky Kurt Brockwell
over you.
293
00:09:59,450 --> 00:10:00,824
Kurt Brockwell's 14.
294
00:10:00,825 --> 00:10:01,866
Might be 15 now.
295
00:10:01,867 --> 00:10:03,366
We all know
what she did.
296
00:10:03,367 --> 00:10:05,491
But she's the perfect balance
of hot and rich.
297
00:10:05,492 --> 00:10:07,991
If she wants me back,
I'm crawling back!
298
00:10:07,992 --> 00:10:09,157
Dad, help me
out here.
299
00:10:09,158 --> 00:10:11,824
Sorry, buddy,
not this time.
300
00:10:11,825 --> 00:10:14,699
We Otto men have a long, proud
history of being wusses
301
00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:17,074
and rolling over for our women,
but that ends now.
302
00:10:17,075 --> 00:10:19,616
It does?
Yes. Today
we make a stand.
303
00:10:19,617 --> 00:10:21,699
We roast pigs in boxes, even
though it's been questioned
304
00:10:21,700 --> 00:10:22,949
every step of the way.
305
00:10:22,950 --> 00:10:24,199
And we don't take calls
from girls
306
00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:25,282
who've broken
our hearts--
307
00:10:25,283 --> 00:10:26,824
Can we let the call
go to voicemail
308
00:10:26,825 --> 00:10:29,032
and listen to their sweet
voices whenever we want?
309
00:10:29,033 --> 00:10:31,407
No. That's creepy.
310
00:10:31,408 --> 00:10:33,241
It's time for the Otto men
to break
311
00:10:33,242 --> 00:10:34,532
the wuss chains
and man up!
312
00:10:34,533 --> 00:10:36,324
Are you with me?!
313
00:10:36,325 --> 00:10:38,407
I'm with you!
Let's go get that pig!
314
00:10:38,408 --> 00:10:40,032
Great. Now grab
your sweater!
315
00:10:40,033 --> 00:10:42,116
Yes! It gets breezy
in the late afternoon!
316
00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:51,741
High school's great,
317
00:10:51,742 --> 00:10:53,282
but I can't wait
to get to college.
318
00:10:53,283 --> 00:10:54,949
You know, you get
to be on your own--
319
00:10:54,950 --> 00:10:56,407
Did my dad
put you up to this?
320
00:10:56,408 --> 00:10:59,282
Well, yeah,
but he's not wrong.
321
00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:00,574
College is where you
get to focus on
322
00:11:00,575 --> 00:11:01,907
what you're
passionate about.
323
00:11:01,908 --> 00:11:04,407
For me, it's about becoming
an anesthesiologist.
324
00:11:04,408 --> 00:11:07,574
That's your passion?
To be an anesthesiologist?
325
00:11:07,575 --> 00:11:09,949
That and finally
trying bologna.
326
00:11:09,950 --> 00:11:13,074
Anesthesiology is what
your mom wants you to do.
327
00:11:13,075 --> 00:11:16,282
You should do something
that you care about.
328
00:11:16,283 --> 00:11:19,324
Like this! You're always
drawing these cartoons.
329
00:11:19,325 --> 00:11:20,991
They're not cartoons.
It's called manga.
330
00:11:20,992 --> 00:11:22,532
It's a Japanese form
of comic books.
331
00:11:22,533 --> 00:11:24,991
Okay, whatever it's called,
you clearly love it.
332
00:11:24,992 --> 00:11:27,366
This is what you should do
with your life.
333
00:11:28,658 --> 00:11:30,116
Is this a cat
wearing a bra?
334
00:11:30,117 --> 00:11:31,949
Yeah, he solves
crimes.
335
00:11:40,283 --> 00:11:42,074
Hey.
336
00:11:42,075 --> 00:11:43,741
Greg Otto.
337
00:11:43,742 --> 00:11:44,991
I'm here to pick up
the pig we ordered
338
00:11:44,992 --> 00:11:47,782
so we can cook it like,
you know... men.
339
00:11:47,783 --> 00:11:49,116
I got you all set up.
340
00:11:50,658 --> 00:11:52,699
One second.
341
00:11:52,700 --> 00:11:55,116
Hey, Alice.
342
00:11:55,117 --> 00:11:56,949
No, I-I don't think
I can go on
343
00:11:56,950 --> 00:11:59,407
your parents' yacht
this weekend.
344
00:11:59,408 --> 00:12:00,825
I got another call.
Gotta go.
345
00:12:02,367 --> 00:12:04,116
I didn't have
another call.
346
00:12:04,117 --> 00:12:07,407
You just earned yourself
a fat stack of man cards.
347
00:12:08,575 --> 00:12:10,241
You're gonna
feed seven?
Yeah.
348
00:12:10,242 --> 00:12:13,241
I'd suggest
Louise or R.J.
349
00:12:13,242 --> 00:12:14,824
Uh...
350
00:12:14,825 --> 00:12:16,449
when I ordered
the pig online,
351
00:12:16,450 --> 00:12:18,282
I was under the impression
it wouldn't be so...
352
00:12:18,283 --> 00:12:19,574
alive.
353
00:12:19,575 --> 00:12:22,366
Well, we only sell
live pigs.
354
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:24,407
Now, what you can do is take it
to the butcher down the road.
355
00:12:24,408 --> 00:12:25,866
He'll slaughter,
gut, and dress
356
00:12:25,867 --> 00:12:27,699
any one of these
little guys for you.
357
00:12:27,700 --> 00:12:29,949
Or you can do it
yourself.
358
00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:30,824
Is there a problem?
359
00:12:30,825 --> 00:12:33,032
No, no, no.
It's no problem.
360
00:12:33,033 --> 00:12:34,574
I made an enormous deal
about a pig roast,
361
00:12:34,575 --> 00:12:36,782
so we are roasting a pig.
362
00:12:36,783 --> 00:12:39,449
R.J., if you have any
female spider friends,
363
00:12:39,450 --> 00:12:41,866
they have about 5 minutes
to work their magic.
364
00:12:46,742 --> 00:12:48,116
How's it going
out here?
365
00:12:48,117 --> 00:12:49,574
I just have to cook it
another couple of hours
366
00:12:49,575 --> 00:12:50,657
and then I get
to flip it!
367
00:12:50,658 --> 00:12:52,449
It's going better
than I expected.
368
00:12:52,450 --> 00:12:54,407
All of our friends are going
to be so impressed.
369
00:12:54,408 --> 00:12:55,741
So Angela and Doris?
370
00:12:55,742 --> 00:12:57,075
Yeah.
371
00:13:01,658 --> 00:13:03,699
We're going to need
more chocolate syrup.
372
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:04,617
A lot more.
373
00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:08,616
We could be in Mexico
in 17 hours.
374
00:13:08,617 --> 00:13:10,616
How do you know--
I just know, Greg.
375
00:13:13,867 --> 00:13:15,907
What in the world
are you two doing?!
376
00:13:15,908 --> 00:13:18,907
Anna-Kat, what
has gotten into you?
377
00:13:18,908 --> 00:13:20,699
I'm just doing what
you told me to do.
378
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:23,241
Yeah, honey, "No TV until
you destroy your room."
379
00:13:23,242 --> 00:13:24,657
Pretty sure I never
said that.
380
00:13:24,658 --> 00:13:26,282
Franklin wanted
to turn my room
381
00:13:26,283 --> 00:13:28,282
into Willy Wonka's
Chocolate Factory.
382
00:13:28,283 --> 00:13:30,574
I told him it was stupid,
but then you said
383
00:13:30,575 --> 00:13:32,532
I should say, "Okay."
384
00:13:32,533 --> 00:13:33,616
So here we are.
385
00:13:33,617 --> 00:13:35,491
Anna-Kat, you should've
stopped him.
386
00:13:35,492 --> 00:13:37,741
Because, even though
we need to be supported...
387
00:13:37,742 --> 00:13:41,616
...sometimes boys have ideas
that need to be shut down.
388
00:13:41,617 --> 00:13:45,407
We're not talking about
Franklin anymore, are we?
389
00:13:48,617 --> 00:13:49,824
Was that our dinner?
390
00:13:49,825 --> 00:13:51,533
His name is R.J.
391
00:13:56,950 --> 00:13:58,116
Who's a good boy?
You're a good boy.
392
00:13:58,117 --> 00:13:59,366
You're a good boy. Get down.
Get down. Get down.
393
00:13:59,367 --> 00:14:00,866
This is why
I don't say "Okay."
394
00:14:00,867 --> 00:14:02,199
I know.
395
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:03,741
Why didn't you
just return him?
396
00:14:03,742 --> 00:14:05,741
'Cause he's so sweet,
and if I brought him back,
397
00:14:05,742 --> 00:14:07,282
they'd just sell him to
someone else who'd eat him.
398
00:14:07,283 --> 00:14:09,158
Yeah.
Because he's food.
399
00:14:11,658 --> 00:14:13,366
What are you doing?
It's a complaint
bracelet.
400
00:14:13,367 --> 00:14:14,949
You snap it so you don't
tell your husband
401
00:14:14,950 --> 00:14:16,282
what an idiot he is.
402
00:14:16,283 --> 00:14:17,449
If I hadn't brought
a pig in this house,
403
00:14:17,450 --> 00:14:19,116
I'd have a real problem
with you wearing that.
404
00:14:19,117 --> 00:14:20,532
If the pig is in
our bedroom,
405
00:14:20,533 --> 00:14:22,407
then what are you cooking
in that box?
406
00:14:22,408 --> 00:14:24,407
Two briskets. I stopped by
the deli on the way home.
407
00:14:24,408 --> 00:14:25,741
I don't have time
for this right now.
408
00:14:25,742 --> 00:14:27,366
I have to give my presentation
to the Gala Board.
409
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:28,657
Do you want to
rehearse with me?
410
00:14:28,658 --> 00:14:30,574
Nah, I got this.
411
00:14:30,575 --> 00:14:33,491
Are you sure? You're not
the greatest at winging it.
412
00:14:33,492 --> 00:14:35,282
You tried to wing our wedding
vows and wound up just
413
00:14:35,283 --> 00:14:36,949
repeating my vows back to me,
only adding a few
414
00:14:36,950 --> 00:14:38,199
"totally totally's."
415
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:39,866
Like, I said,
"You are my sun and moon,"
416
00:14:39,867 --> 00:14:41,532
and when it was your
turn, you said,
417
00:14:41,533 --> 00:14:43,407
"You are totally totally
my sun and moon."
418
00:14:43,408 --> 00:14:45,782
Stop worrying about
my presentation.
419
00:14:45,783 --> 00:14:48,407
It's just three ding-aling moms
sitting around a lunch table.
420
00:14:48,408 --> 00:14:50,199
They'll hear
"beach blanket bingo"
421
00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:52,907
and be so happy that they'll
have to get emergency Botox
422
00:14:52,908 --> 00:14:53,907
to hide
their smile lines.
423
00:14:53,908 --> 00:14:56,824
Oh, my God!
We got a weird dog!
424
00:14:56,825 --> 00:15:00,199
Hi. Hi, weird dog.
425
00:15:07,825 --> 00:15:09,616
Tara.
Katie.
426
00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:10,949
Of course you're on
the committee.
427
00:15:10,950 --> 00:15:12,782
No, I'm here for fun.
428
00:15:12,783 --> 00:15:14,866
I cleared my schedule
to watch you crash and burn
429
00:15:14,867 --> 00:15:15,782
from the audience.
430
00:15:15,783 --> 00:15:16,824
Audience?
431
00:15:16,825 --> 00:15:18,450
Mm-hmm.
432
00:15:22,950 --> 00:15:23,950
Pwooh.
433
00:15:25,950 --> 00:15:27,782
What is wrong
with these people?
434
00:15:27,783 --> 00:15:29,866
It is just a theme
for a dumb fundraiser.
435
00:15:29,867 --> 00:15:32,949
Don't freak out.
Think of something happy.
436
00:15:32,950 --> 00:15:35,949
God, that airbag hit Greg
in the face so hard.
437
00:15:40,450 --> 00:15:45,657
Fun. Casual.
Picnic baskets...
438
00:15:45,658 --> 00:15:48,991
that pink wine...
439
00:15:48,992 --> 00:15:51,532
sitting on blankets...
440
00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:52,908
sand...
441
00:15:56,408 --> 00:15:58,700
macaroni salad...
442
00:16:04,617 --> 00:16:08,782
...is what Tara Summers
suggested we do.
443
00:16:08,783 --> 00:16:14,991
But I told Tara, "This is
a fundraiser, not a hoedown."
444
00:16:14,992 --> 00:16:17,242
Silly, stupid Tara.
445
00:16:18,867 --> 00:16:22,907
What I'm pitching, against
Tara's advice, is Bollywood!
446
00:16:22,908 --> 00:16:24,366
With more spectacle
and pageantry
447
00:16:24,367 --> 00:16:25,657
than you can even imagine.
448
00:16:25,658 --> 00:16:27,324
Yes. Yes!
449
00:16:27,325 --> 00:16:30,616
Picture the opulence of
a white chocolate Taj Mahal.
450
00:16:30,617 --> 00:16:34,074
Delicious food, all meat-based.
451
00:16:34,075 --> 00:16:37,991
And dancers with curvy swords
wearing gold M.C. Hammer pants.
452
00:16:39,242 --> 00:16:41,199
She knows what
I'm talkin' about!
453
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:46,782
And, for our big finale,
we are going to have...
454
00:16:48,325 --> 00:16:49,699
What are we gonna have?
455
00:16:50,908 --> 00:16:52,366
Elephants!
456
00:16:52,367 --> 00:16:56,366
That's right, elephants
cloaked in velvet!
457
00:16:56,367 --> 00:16:58,700
And who's riding that elephant?
458
00:17:00,450 --> 00:17:02,866
Who, Katie? Who's riding
the elephant?
459
00:17:02,867 --> 00:17:06,366
Who's gonna get that lady
all excited?
460
00:17:06,367 --> 00:17:09,783
Nathan Fillion
from ABC's "Castle"!
461
00:17:11,325 --> 00:17:13,491
I love Castle!
462
00:17:13,492 --> 00:17:14,866
He's my Hall Pass.
463
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:17,199
Yes!
464
00:17:33,700 --> 00:17:35,366
I am so screwed.
465
00:17:35,367 --> 00:17:36,407
We tried to warn you.
466
00:17:36,408 --> 00:17:38,282
You know Nathan Fillion?
467
00:17:38,283 --> 00:17:40,699
Doris, you and I have talked
for at least 10,000 hours.
468
00:17:40,700 --> 00:17:42,533
Don't you think you'd know
if I knew Nathan Fillion?!
469
00:17:44,117 --> 00:17:45,241
That's for you.
470
00:17:45,242 --> 00:17:47,032
I'm not good
at winging it.
471
00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:49,282
I can't believe I'm saying this
to a man bottle-feeding a pig,
472
00:17:49,283 --> 00:17:51,032
but I should have
listened to you.
473
00:17:51,033 --> 00:17:52,866
But instead,
I listened to you.
474
00:17:52,867 --> 00:17:54,241
Why did I listen to you?
475
00:17:54,242 --> 00:17:56,241
We're not men,
we're Ottos!
476
00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:58,324
I should be with Alice
on her boat right now,
477
00:17:58,325 --> 00:18:00,282
sitting at the raw bar in my
just-the-right-amount-of-tight
478
00:18:00,283 --> 00:18:03,407
European-style swimsuit.
479
00:18:03,408 --> 00:18:04,991
You were right. I should
have let you stop me.
480
00:18:04,992 --> 00:18:07,991
No, you were right, too.
I shouldn't have winged it.
481
00:18:07,992 --> 00:18:09,616
It's just hard to know
when to say "okay"
482
00:18:09,617 --> 00:18:11,157
and when to stop
a dumb idea.
483
00:18:11,158 --> 00:18:13,074
So I guess we just have
to support one another,
484
00:18:13,075 --> 00:18:15,574
hope for the best, and deal
with the fallout together.
485
00:18:15,575 --> 00:18:17,116
Deal.
486
00:18:17,117 --> 00:18:18,657
Oh, good, I'm glad
you're agreeing, 'cause...
487
00:18:18,658 --> 00:18:20,574
while you were gone,
the pig chewed that
488
00:18:20,575 --> 00:18:23,449
Coach purse you picked up
at the school lost and found.
489
00:18:23,450 --> 00:18:25,741
I'm sawwy.
490
00:18:25,742 --> 00:18:27,282
I can't believe
491
00:18:27,283 --> 00:18:28,949
you humiliated me in front
of the Board of Directors.
492
00:18:28,950 --> 00:18:30,949
I can't believe you can't
believe I wouldn't do that.
493
00:18:30,950 --> 00:18:32,657
You know what?
It was worth it.
494
00:18:32,658 --> 00:18:33,949
Because there's no way that
you're gonna pull off
495
00:18:33,950 --> 00:18:35,949
even half of those promises.
496
00:18:35,950 --> 00:18:37,741
The Board will crucify you.
497
00:18:37,742 --> 00:18:38,741
And I'll be there to watch.
498
00:18:39,867 --> 00:18:41,157
What is this?!
499
00:18:41,158 --> 00:18:42,825
A turkey.
500
00:18:43,950 --> 00:18:45,824
Eyo! We're leaving.
501
00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:47,241
Hey, Mom.
502
00:18:47,242 --> 00:18:48,907
Did you and Taylor
talk about college?
503
00:18:48,908 --> 00:18:50,699
We did.
And?
504
00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:53,366
And...
505
00:18:53,367 --> 00:18:56,199
I've decided I don't want
to be an anesthesiologist.
506
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,157
What?
507
00:18:58,158 --> 00:18:59,782
I'm gonna study manga.
508
00:18:59,783 --> 00:19:01,949
What?!
Manga is my passion.
509
00:19:01,950 --> 00:19:05,532
No. Safely sedating a patient
before surgery is your passion!
510
00:19:05,533 --> 00:19:07,032
One afternoon
in this house
511
00:19:07,033 --> 00:19:10,282
and he wants to throw
his life away on doodles!
512
00:19:10,283 --> 00:19:12,324
Bye, Tara. See you never,
I hope.
513
00:19:12,325 --> 00:19:14,366
Not kidding.
Hey, you, get out.
514
00:19:14,367 --> 00:19:16,657
So, instead of him convincing
you to go to college,
515
00:19:16,658 --> 00:19:18,741
somehow you convinced him
not to go to college?
516
00:19:18,742 --> 00:19:21,199
I just supported him like you
guys have been talking about.
517
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:23,449
You kids honestly picked
the worst time to listen to us.
518
00:19:23,450 --> 00:19:24,741
Yeah.
519
00:19:27,325 --> 00:19:28,824
Don't mind us! We'll store it
in the garage.
520
00:19:28,825 --> 00:19:31,158
Oh, good, dent the other door.
Even things out.
521
00:19:32,533 --> 00:19:34,949
Hup, that lamp needed
a good knocking-over.
522
00:19:34,950 --> 00:19:36,783
Oh, we cleared the piano.
523
00:19:40,617 --> 00:19:43,616
Oh, no! You broke the ceramic
owl your mother gave us.
524
00:19:43,617 --> 00:19:44,699
You did that on purpose.
525
00:19:44,700 --> 00:19:46,949
True, but you brought home
a live pig.
526
00:19:46,950 --> 00:19:48,116
How long are you gonna
play the pig card?
527
00:19:48,117 --> 00:19:49,241
How long does
a pig live?
528
00:19:49,242 --> 00:19:50,657
On average,
about 15 years.
529
00:19:50,658 --> 00:19:52,074
Oh, crap.
530
00:20:02,742 --> 00:20:04,782
Me and Hans Gruber
are going upstairs.
531
00:20:04,783 --> 00:20:06,366
I'm going to give
him a bath.
532
00:20:06,367 --> 00:20:08,366
You renamed the pig
Hans Gruber?
533
00:20:08,367 --> 00:20:10,241
Yeah. He tried to kill
Bruce Willis
534
00:20:10,242 --> 00:20:11,699
in my new favorite movie,
"Die Hard."
535
00:20:11,700 --> 00:20:12,907
You watched
"Die Hard"?
536
00:20:12,908 --> 00:20:14,574
Yeah, with Mama.
537
00:20:14,575 --> 00:20:17,199
Sweetie,
what is the rule
538
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:19,741
about Mama/Anna-Kat
movie time?
539
00:20:19,742 --> 00:20:22,158
{\an8}"If Daddy asks, we always
watched 'Despicable Me.'"
540
00:20:23,950 --> 00:20:25,241
{\an8}Oh, right.
541
00:20:25,242 --> 00:20:26,617
{\an8}Hans Gruber's
a minion.
542
00:20:32,783 --> 00:20:36,907
{\an8}In my defense, you weren't
supposed to find out about it.
543
00:20:36,908 --> 00:20:39,199
{\an8}It's a good defense.
39301
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