Original subtitles

You keep moving.

Dirk Southgate, I'm your co -host for this film.

I'm Connie Peters, the better half of the team.

In this film, you will experience much erotic and sensual stimuli.

Hey, that was hard to say.

I know, that's why I asked the producer to give you that line.

Thanks for nothing, you know.

In this film, you'll enjoy with us the talk of... Born a star.

Yeah, there are over 23 of them.

All coming and coming.

That's not coming, baby. That's showing up.

John Holmes and Serena are two of the biggest stars in our business.

Are you that as big as John Holmes?

Only when he's soft.

But look now, let's... Watch Serena.

And John Holmes.

Doing their thing.

And one another.

right one four

to ease my fears and say them for me.

I heard that. The word, my dear, is gluteus maximus.

Don't try and change the subject. I saw all of your films.

Hey, and you're next.

Promises, promises.

Hey, a little bit of butt slam and never hurt anybody, sugar babe.

It certainly didn't hurt John Leslie and his female friends. Let's watch them as

they get into it. Got into it, into her.

Hey, whatever suits you just plum tickles me to death.

I wonder what a cowboy does on his day off.

Spend it in the lower 40 with a sheep?

Here is a classic scene of a dirty western, one of the top ten porno films

made. Nah, you're just saying that because their producer made that film.

paid me $1 .77 extra to say it.

Say, you're kind of shy, aren't you?

of porno cuts featuring many fabulous stars.

All of which is for your enjoyment.

Remember the classic story, Beauty and the Beast?

The Beast being John Holmes' swan. The Beauty being Annette Haven,

taking all of John's luscious 13 inches.

It's a fantasy many girls would love to have fulfilled.

Here's Annette Haven and that butcher of the now John Holmes. At least a 10 on

the masky meter. I love him.

Would you go along and write one for me?

If I can't find the sun, would you be there

to light it for me?

you take the time to sing one for me.

Work to ease my fears and save them for me.

Would you go along and write one for me?

If I can't find the sun, would you be there

to light it for me?

I'm just doing one for me.

tell you he's an ass freak.

I told you he knew an ass.

I love Georgina Stelvin. She's always fantastic.

Her classic, The Devil and Miss Jones, is still playing in Bacoima with Mary

Poppins.

Right now, Eric Edwards is playing with her. And she loves every minute of it

all. So do you.

Third working is Dirk Southgate.

You call fucking hard work?

No, but the rehearsals are a bitch.

At least we girls can thank you.

Wanna watch me fulfill all of a man's fantasies?

Which is?

No girls at once. Count them.

And Dirk Southgate.

What are cowboys doing their day off? They fuck sheep.

We're always fascinated when they watch two women make love.

Why not two men making love to each other?

We don't want to watch a couple damn dick smokers in this film.

I want to watch.

Are you going to be a bastard again?

Yeah, you bet.

That's not fair.

I know.

I'm going to show you two chicks anyway.

Here is Sika, Desiree Cusdo, Ken Yoss, and Bill Tobas. Give it here.

Thank you.

Ah.

is Jean Jennings. Yeah, she's sweet.

Petite, innocent, very sexy.

Yeah, she relates to all my fantasies. Here's Jean accompanied by Mark

Stevens, Jamie Gillis, in a very comical scene.

Yeah, it's flashy.

Like you, doll.

Do you like teddy bears?

Not at all.

How about if they give good heads?

Only if they say please.

Serena likes teddy bears.

All girls like teddy bears.

Can't you be serious for a minute?

Here's Serena with her teddy bear.

Who is joined by Eric Edwards, who's... Another teddy bear.

Cut the cord and you can be free.

And you can be

free.

You set me free.

A great guy who always enjoys his work is John Leslie.

He was absolutely fabulous in The Sensual Detective.

Yes, any of the boys.

He loves to muff dive. Well, that was Scooby -Doo too, honey.

And he really is a member of the ass -pucking society.

Watch him dive into the things with Tina Russell and Janet Beaver.

um uh

Would you be liking to see an Irish laugh?

An Irish act?

Faith can be God of that, too.

Here's a pretty wench, Helen Madigan.

Madigan? Is that an Irish name?

It's as Irish as Patty's pig.

How about another melange of porno cuts?

Ready? Let's hope.

Love it.

He does a great kitchen scene.

He stuffs a great chicken.

Yes, and the chickens loved it, too.

Now, in this next film, he's massaging the voluptuous Vanessa Del Rio.

Lucky stiff.

He'll probably end up stiff at the end of the scene.

Best massage is a mouth massage.

An oral massage is the only way to go.

Thank you.

No, no.

I don't know.

Hope you like the film.

We enjoyed doing it.

But we haven't participated.

Do you want to?

Do you mind?

He goes crazy if I ignore him.

I know you won't mind.

After all, Freud said it first.

Everything is in the orgasm.