Original subtitles

What are you doing back? We can't go over this again.

Go home, get some sleep.

It is so weird watching your mother try to rebound.

Taking care of her appearance is a good sign, actually.

She's flirting with everything that moves.

- She tell you why Cavanaugh broke it off? - No.

Wish she'd talk about it.

Do you know the average woman ingests seven pounds of lipstick over a lifetime?

No, why do you insist on telling me your disgusting fun facts over food?

- It's coffee. - Hi, doll.

Ah.

- Ugh. - Hello, detective.

Of all the knuckleheads she's gonna flirt with...

...she has to flirt with Lightning McQueen?

I thought his name was Gibson.

I believe he's part of the Auto Theft Task Force.

That explains why he's so arrogant.

Watch this. Watch.

If you were a car, you'd be a '68 Dodge Charger.

Sleek styling, great street performance.

Hey, detective.

I was, uh, just telling your mother about this '68 Dodge Charger we recovered.

Really? I thought you were about to compliment her on her trunk space.

Jane.

Good morning, lieutenant.

What's good about it?

So, Rich, I guess you'll have your usual.

Angela, how can you know me so well?

She's trying to make Cavanaugh jealous?

Jealousy can sometimes be a sign of love or commitment.

Also a sign Lightning McQueen is about to get his ass kicked.

So I'll be seeing you, beautiful.

Okay. Bye, Rich.

- I will call you. - Okay.

Hey, Mrs. Rizzoli, if you're not too busy, can I get some coffee over here?

Right away, lieutenant.

I can't watch anymore.

We have to do something.

What? Hide all the plastic knives?

Vanilla.

Just who I was looking for.

- I thought you wanted some coffee. - Never mind.

Hello, Mr. Rondo. Who do we have here?

Reuben, Dania, Trevor.

It's Dawg.

- How do you do, Dawg? - Rondo, aren't we a little old for play dates?

- These are all my homies from Off the Street. - Oh.

The home for teenagers?

I volunteer there.

We're Rondo's Rejects.

Um....

Perhaps you'd consider a less pejorative name.

Juveniles often identify with the labels society gives them.

Oh, society didn't name them. They named their own selves.

Hmph.

Um, a reject is a person or thing...

- ...dismissed as failing to meet standards-- - Maura--

"Pejorative" is a word that expresses contempt or disapproval.

Brought them by to meet my heroes.

- A little impromptu career day. - So you guys want to be cops?

- No. - No way.

They just need a little mentoring.

Maybe you could take them around a little?

I could be a mentor too. Does anybody like cooking?

Cooking.

- Or science? - Science.

Ma, why don't you give them a doughnut? We'll let you be on your way.

Fine by me. Right?

I ain't being mentored by no chick anyway. Heh.

You know, now that I think about it, we love to mentor here.

And we can find a boy detective, if that's what you'd prefer.

Detective Frost could be your mentor.

Sergeant Korsak could be your mentor.

If I have to have a mentor, I'd rather someone with an advanced degree.

- I have an M.D. - Okay, I guess.

- You got anything to eat? - Right?

Ma, we gotta go. We got a case.

All right, come on. I'll make you all breakfast.

Frankie. Here, come.

- I need you to do something. - You got a big case?

See those teenagers? Run their names. Make sure they haven't killed anybody.

You mean the ones standing 6 inches away from Ma?

Probably shouldn't let them out of your sight, either.

Where would Luke Skywalker be without Yoda?

Or the Karate Kid without Mr. Miyagi?

I said I would do it. I'll be a mentor.

Agnodice was the first female gynecologist in ancient Athens.

She was one of my mentors.

You mean, when you time-traveled back to the first century?

Third century BC.

Marie Curie was also a big influencer of mine.

- Who were your mentors? - Uh, Police Woman, Kojak--

Oh. Jim Rockford.

- What was he cooking? - Beer.

- Beer? - He's a microbrewer. This is his test kitchen.

Victim is Greg Jensen, CEO and brewmaster of Overlord Ale.

Who found the body?

- Jensen's assistant, Ruby Burke. - She found him this morning.

- Then I came back and.... - She have an alibi?

Yeah, she was in Scandinavia for the last month.

She was selling her boss' Viking-themed beer.

- She flew in from Reykjavik this morning. - When was he killed?

He's been dead at least eight hours.

- Sweet poster girl. - No kidding.

- Uh, gentlemen? - Huh?

Do we have any suspects?

Victim's married. Wife's been notified.

She was taking care of their two kids. We're bringing her in.

Two-point-five-centimeter round hole.

Hmm. That's a very unusual entrance wound.

- What was he stabbed with? - Not a knife.

Are we playing process of elimination again?

Yes. It's not a garbage disposal, cleaver, pitchfork, pinking shears.

- Uh, ladies? - Hmm?

Right.

Ah. But this appears to be a metal rivet.

Hmm.

Maybe it came off the murder weapon.

There's some blood droplets.

Leading into that mill.

I think we just found what's left of our murder weapon.

Trace confirmed that the blood on the stick belonged to Jensen.

You think a sharpened stick can do that kind of damage?

Yeah. Doesn't explain the metal rivet, though.

Hey. Jane.

Oh, my-- Frankie, I'm so sorry.

No problem. Been having a barrel of laughs with your mentees.

- Who has mentees? - Um, you?

And you.

Apparently, Maura and Jane volunteered all of us.

Toured Booking, Properties, I was about to show them how I write a traffic ticket.

This is Snoreville. Population, you.

They're all yours.

Hey. Hello.

Hi. Please don't play with that.

Why you got a doll, man?

I was wondering if I could see the medical examiner.

Maybe check out an autopsy?

- Uh, no. - Why not?

- Because it's not on the itinerary. - I'm taking AP Bio, so it would be--

- Advanced Placement Biology. - Yeah.

- Think a reject kid can't be smart? - Least reject kids don't play with dolls.

Wait, I bet you call him an action figure, right, bro?

Yes. And if you touch my action figure again, I will break your face.

If I could observe an autopsy, it'd count for extra credit.

Okay, fine.

But you need to have your parents sign this liability release waiver.

- Uh, no, Dania, your parents gotta-- - It's legal. I'm emancipated.

My mom's dead and my dad's in prison.

If you don't believe me, here are my documents.

- Okay, come on. - Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Wait, we want to see dead bodies too. - Yeah. Better than this bullshit.

Oh, shoot. I bet you wish you'd picked the chick detective now.

Sorry, fellas.

Cover him up.

Maura.

Cover him up.

Hi.

- You're about to do the Y-incision? - Yes.

And do you know why the Y, Dania?

To facilitate the removal of the breastplate. Go ahead. Do it.

Uh, no, our release form doesn't cover slicing and dicing.

- You said I could check out an autopsy. - I didn't say which part.

Okay, so the first thing that I do is examine the body.

- Does your release form cover gloves? - Yes.

All right, do you notice anything?

His leg's a little swollen, but I don't see an injury.

You're very observant.

You think it could be deep vein thrombosis?

I read about this war correspondent who died from sitting in one place for too long.

Better be careful, Maura, I think we found your replacement.

Can I see the wound?

What kind of weapon did that?

I'm not sure. But the ragged wound edges suggest some kind of a barbed blade.

- Can you help me turn him on his side? - Yeah, sure.

Okay.

There we go. Gonna take a closer look with the fluoroscope.

There's something lodged near T8.

Looks like some kind of spear tip.

Oh.

It looks like an iron Krok spjot.

Aha. Just as I suspected, a crock pot.

Krok spjots like this were used during the Viking era.

Oh. I think these are Rune letters carved into the metal.

The Runic alphabet is an ancient Nordic one that predates Latin.

Can you read what it says?

No. Have to consult a Runic scholar.

Greg Jensen sold Viking-themed beer.

Maybe the spear tip came from his brewery or his office.

Okay, Frost and Korsak have a lead on a possible suspect. Come on, Dania.

Can I watch you intimidate the suspect?

No. But hurry. I don't want you to miss my mother's cooking class.

Thank your mom for that cooking class.

Dawg and Reuben almost got slapped up-side the head.

- Korsak, you would've hit your mentees? - Not me. Frost.

Mr. Chill can't take teen 'tude.

Take a look at this.

That is the Overlord Ale logo.

But look at this.

Why would a brother want to be in a Nordic motorcycle gang?

Ragnarok Riders is a motorcycle club. It's not a gang, Frost.

Well, the motorcycle club logo is similar to Overlord Ale.

Don't tell me our victim lifted a motorcycle club's logo.

It gets worse.

- See the sexy Viking poster girl? - Yes.

Meet Sophie West.

Here she is with her daddy.

Clark "Skullcrusher" West, head of the Ragnarok Riders.

He sued Greg Jensen claiming copyright infringement.

Yeah, because he couldn't sue for daughter infringement.

Jensen paid Sophie to be the model for Overlord Ale.

Daddy sued over the logo and lost.

Guy's a sore loser.

Hey, you watch yourself, pencil neck.

You watch your back.

This battle isn't over.

I think we should pay Skullcrusher a visit.

That's not a drill. Nothing scheduled today.

Get the hell out of here, people. Let's move. Now. Go.

I left my mask from Nairobi inside.

I left my lucky notepad.

I should've grabbed my Swiss lithographs.

Maura, look at this building. You see any smoke?

No.

Does your super-sniffer nose smell any smoke?

No.

I think one of Rondo's Rejects pulled the fire alarm...

...to get out of Ma's Fun with Fresh Produce lecture.

All right, everybody. Some joker pulled the fire alarm. Let's get back to work.

Told you, false alarm.

Frankie.

Ma. What's the matter?

Someone stole my wallet.

Okay, I cashed my paycheck.

I put my wallet in my purse.

I keep my purse underneath the counter like I always do.

That's not very safe.

Clearly, Maura, thank you.

You don't think...?

- Yeah, I do think. - Me too.

I'm gonna go put these masks away.

Okay, put them in the safe.

I don't have a safe.

No one's taking your masks, Maura.

Okay, which one of you snapped the wallet? Hmm?

Any one of you that "found" my mother's wallet, return it, we don't press charges.

You heard Detective Vanilla.

If one of you is the guilty party, guilty party better speak up.

- I didn't steal no wallet. - Me either.

I want a lawyer.

Stand up. Do it.

Hold your hands out.

Whoever pulled the fire alarm is gonna have UV dye residue.

- So? I touched the alarm to turn it off. - Sure you did.

I didn't steal no wallet, all right? You can't prove nothing.

No, but we can file a misdemeanor for pulling the alarm.

I know it doesn't seem like it, but they're all good kids.

Dawg has a scholarship to BCU. And he could lose it if he gets in trouble.

If?

Oh, he's in trouble.

You find that wallet, Rondo, then we'll talk.

I feel bad.

You think 20 minutes with us is going to turn their lives around?

Hello. Are you here to support the kids cancer ride too?

Uh, Boston Homicide. We're looking for Clark West.

Clark.

- What do you want? - We're investigating a homicide.

I wasn't asking you. I was asking the lady.

Clark West. Friends call me Skullcrusher.

- You ride bitch, detective? - No, I'm a terrible passenger.

- We're here about a murder. - I'm busy. Getting ready for a charity ride.

Here's your choice. You can answer our questions...

...or enjoy a bitch ride in a squad car back to headquarters.

You got 30 seconds of my attention.

Greg Jensen, the beer maker you sued, was murdered yesterday.

Oh?

Guy's a prick. He might have had something like that coming.

We have video of you threatening Greg Jensen at the courthouse.

He stole my club logo, made my daughter his marketing bitch.

- Where were you yesterday? - Yesterday.

Mass General Pediatric Cancer Center.

Bringing toys and books to the kids. Wanna see the photos?

Big Karl here maxed out the camera memory.

Really cute.

It was sad though.

- Good luck with your ride. - Thank you.

Hey.

I e-mailed a photo of the Rune letters on the spear tip to my old Nordic history professor.

- It says, "Olaf the Boneless." - It's a recipe for Viking soup?

- Hmm. Could they have meant "Ivar," I wonder? - Mm, you too?

There was a Viking leader named Ivar the Boneless.

Scholars believe he was a disabled dwarf...

...who was carried into battle on his shield. He was a great warrior.

How is a boneless dwarf on a shield a great warrior--?

- How do you manage to do this? - Do what?

A boneless dwarf--?

What was so urgent?

The crime lab found seminal fluid mixed with vaginal secretions...

...in the victim's Tyvek suit.

- It appears to be a month old. - In?

So our victim had sex about a month ago...

...and then wore his disposable Tyvek suit again?

Yes. And they also found vaginal secretions on the spear.

Okay, that qualifies as the grossest trace evidence ever.

Relax. The secretions were here. Probably from transfer.

Also about a month old.

And there was enough cellular material in both to extract DNA. We're running it.

So our killer could be a woman.

Well, since a weapon this sharp doesn't need much force, it's possible.

Korsak is interviewing the victim's wife. I need one of those swabby things.

Stop. I'll get whatever you're looking for, but I need a more precise description.

I have to figure out what you say all day long.

You can't figure out "swabby thing"? Really?

Mrs. Jensen, this is Detective Rizzoli.

- Very sorry for your loss. - Thank you.

Mrs. Jensen was just telling me...

...that her husband often disappeared for days at a time.

Do you have any idea where he was going?

He said he was working on a new ale recipe.

But I had my suspicions.

I think he was having an affair.

I'm right, aren't I?

We found a woman's DNA on your husband's clothing.

No.

Was he gone for an extended period of time about a month ago?

This has been going on for almost a year.

You understand that we'll need to rule you out as the source of that DNA.

Yeah, of course.

Whatever you guys need.

I found a second phone in my husband's car.

I believe they're called burn phones.

I wrote the number down.

Maybe that'll help.

Thank you.

- What were you thinking, Frost? - I guess I wasn't thinking, sir.

- You sure as hell weren't. - I'm sorry, sir.

What was that all about?

I made hazelnut coffee. Apparently he doesn't like hazelnut.

Oh, boy.

Why's Cavanaugh in such a lousy mood?

- Because he broke up with my mother. - You're kidding me.

Uh-uh.

- You don't look too surprised. - Uh, your mother confided in me.

- Asked me not to say anything. - I'm glad she had you to talk to.

She was really hurt. I think she still likes him.

How do you feel about that?

Like it's time to set a good example for Mrs. Buttinsky...

...and not be Detective Buttinsky.

Run this number, will you? It's our victim's burn phone.

Wife seems clean to me.

Me too. I'm guessing old Greg wasn't calling home on that second phone.

Yeah, he was. But not the family home.

Our boy had two phones for two addresses.

He was using his secret bat phone to call...

...a Back Bay condo he bought a year ago.

I'm thinking not only was he cheating on his wife, he had a little love nest.

Let's go toss it.

Boston Police! Open the door!

Clear.

I think all that yelling was just this game.

Clear.

Olaf the Boneless.

That's the same name that was on the spear tip that killed him.

Must be Jensen's user name.

Man, he liked playing.

He's logged 2738 hours. Got some high-level weapons too.

Porgeir's ax, Thor's hammer.

And a Saga Shield? Damn.

You seem to know a lot about this, Frost.

I've dabbled in MMORPG.

Have you?

Massive multi-player online role-playing games.

This one's "Vikings of the Realm."

Why would you waste 2700 hours playing a computer game?

- Points. - Points for what?

- To win. - Win what?

Okay, so Greg Jensen ran a successful microbrewing company...

...but he pretended to be Olaf the Boneless most of the time.

Look at this. Snail mail.

Addressed to the victim at a P.O. Box sent within the last month.

No return address. Can't read it.

Looks like it's written in Rune.

Hey, look at this.

"Your whore is next."

I'm thinking our killer isn't done.

It's cost effective to get a quart of frozen yogurt...

...if we're sharing the same flavors.

I like my own, okay?

Why don't you like it swirled? It's still mocha and mint.

No, when you swirl it, it becomes one flavor.

Coffee toothpaste.

Don't get your pepperoni grease on my half.

Okay, get your mushroom off of my half.

Did you talk to your mother?

Lieutenant Cavanaugh looked miserable when we left.

Maybe because we have an unsolved homicide...

...with a killer hiding in a video game.

Who's that?

He did not.

A lavender VW Bug?

God's honest truth.

Lavender for a guy who's, "Whoo."

- You feel me? - Ha, ha.

- Who's going to feel you, Detective Gibson? - Detective Rizzoli.

How are you? Uh, I was just dropping your mother off.

Did you permit this?

I insist that they each have one foot on the floor...

...when there's heavy petting on your mother's bed.

- You're so funny. - Heh.

Uh, Ma. Can I talk to you for a sec?

Uh, sure.

Hey, I'm just going to go upstairs.

I think I forgot to charge my electric toothbrush.

Okay, why are you doing this to Lieutenant Cavanaugh?

Okay, Jane, this is so not your business.

Yeah, it is.

Especially when he's taking it out on all of us. The entire squad.

Well, then he's more juvenile than I thought he was.

You wanna hear juvenile?

"If you were a car, you'd be a '68 Dodge Charger."

You don't even like that goofball.

Don't call him that, and I do too.

I don't believe you. And if you are doing this to get to Cavanaugh...

...then I'm gonna say the same thing that you told me. Don't.

It's beneath you.

Jane.

Ma, are you crying?

I'm so proud of you.

Why are you crying?

Because I raised you. I raised a beautiful girl.

Ah.

And...

...you're right.

Thank you.

I love you, Ma.

I love you more.

- Thanks, gorgeous. - Detective.

That's a good sign. At least she's not drawing attention to her mouth.

No sign of flirtation.

I needed a pick-me-up after that Porsche fiasco.

You hear about this, Rizzoli? Everybody's talking about it.

Yeah, everyone's talking about that old Porsche, Gibson.

It's "Porsche."

Really? What, Gibson's an Italian name?

No.

But some of us know a lot about high-end Italian rides.

It's a German car, you idiot.

- I think they're crotch blocking each other. - Crotch blocking? Really?

It's my Nordic history professor. His office says he's almost here.

Mrs. Vanilla, we found your wallet.

Rondo, thank you.

Oh, where'd you find it, Rondo?

I knew you guys didn't take it.

Well, we checked the trash, but Dania found it in the Dumpster.

Ah.

- Is everything there, Ma? - My license, my ATM card, my cash.

Oh.

- I'm missing a hundred bucks. - Are you sure, Mrs. Vanilla?

Dawg, let's go. We're going up to booking.

No, Jane, wait. Let me handle this.

How would your mother feel?

She wouldn't be very proud, would she?

Um, Dawg doesn't have a mother. His mother passed.

Oh. Oh.

Oh, I'm-- Don't cry.

- Don't cry. All right. - He didn't do it.

He's covering for me.

The money is there. I put it back.

Dania, why would you steal from me?

I needed $100 for a textbook.

Why didn't you tell the teacher?

I didn't want her to know....

What?

That you live in a teen shelter?

Yeah.

When you went to the bathroom, I took the wallet out of your purse.

Dawg saw you coming and he pulled the alarm to cover for me.

- I'm really sorry. - I'm sorry too.

Jane, this is Professor Walter Lowell.

Department of Scandinavian Studies, Boston Cambridge University.

- Hello. Nice to meet you. - Pleasure is mine.

Dr. Isles was about to show me some letters written in the Rune alphabet...

...that you all would like me to translate.

Yes. I have some of the letters here.

We made copies of the originals.

Floppy disks?

Yes, I certainly do remember when the floppies were the originals.

When you said old...

...I didn't realize that you meant he and Olaf went on Viking raids together.

He's hard of hearing, but he can read lips.

These appear to be written in Proto-Norse.

That's an Indo-European language spoken in Scandinavia.

Thought to have evolved as a Proto-Germanic northern dialect...

...over the first century AD.

Please, one nerd at a time.

Well, these are love letters.

Addressed to a Viking by the name of Olaf the Boneless.

Now, that's historically incorrect.

It's Ivar the Boneless.

- Hmm. - Hope he's not charging us by the hour.

- Stop. - They were written by Olaf's lover...

...a Viking maiden by the name of Gunnhild.

Oh, dear.

Olaf was still married to a different Viking maiden by the name of Undirmaor.

- You know, Undirmaor means-- - Not now, Maura.

Exactly how deep into this game was he?

Listen to this:

"Your velvety beard still hums...

...against the bosom of my tender flesh."

Okay, well, uh, you've been very helpful.

The DNA recovered from the spear is a match for the DNA on the victim.

- It's from the same woman. - Thank you, Susie.

- Okay, well, that's a big break. - Yeah.

It was nice to meet you.

Uh, no, no, no, I'm not finished with your letters. Sit, sit. Have some tea.

Have some tea.

"Cold are the counsel of women."

Cold indeed.

Find anything on the victim's computer?

Nothing useful. He just used it to play MMOs.

No idea how he had a successful business.

I guess playing with Geirlaug of Gongu's more fun than making beer.

"Vikings of the Realm" game makers sent over subscriber information.

Twelve thousand names of people Greg Jensen played with.

Jane rescued me.

- Where is she? - Trapped with Professor Windbag.

"Undirmaor and Gunnhild"?

I can't find Under-Girl but I found the other one.

Heh, Gunnhild is va-va-va-voom.

Her name is Kendra Dee.

She logs in from her house in South End.

Conveniently located just minutes from us.

I'm not doing anything. I could help you pick her up.

Yes, that's my avatar.

Can't you tell?

Yeah. Quite the resemblance.

Were you having an affair with Greg Jensen?

Oh, I was.

It was the most intensely passionate affair of my life.

We made love on the Isle of Thanet, Nottingham, York.

Ma'am, was this IRL?

It was enchanting and magical.

Olaf swept me off of my feet.

That's not what I asked. Was it IRL?

- It was not. - What's IRL?

In real life.

Ma'am, have you seen this before?

No, but I can read Rune letters.

It's the name of my lover, Olaf the Boneless.

Did you write these letters to Greg Jensen?

To Olaf.

Ugh, it's a shame he's dead.

This has to be the work of Undirmaor.

She did everything in her power to drive us apart.

Do you know who Undirmaor is in the, uh, IRL?

No, I do not.

But mark my words, I will get that woman.

Take my card and call me before you do that.

Ma'am? Ma'am.

- Greg Jensen was killed IRL. - Yeah. By an RP.

Real person.

It's Jane.

We'd like to do a cheek swab for a DNA sample.

If you must.

Darn.

Who am I going to play with now?

Oh, my God, I thought that professor would never stop talking about Underwear.

Undirmaor has got mad hacking skills.

Keeps changing accounts, deleted her avatar's history.

What do you know? It's Gunnhild.

She's cute.

She stopped looking like that in 1963.

She's at a secret gaming event. I'm invited.

Well, the DNA results haven't come back yet. She could be our killer.

Uh-oh. She says she's about to make contact with Undirmaor. Let's go.

No, grab the shield.

That's Porgeir and there's Thor. And Grettir.

And Refur.

Refur?

I don't see my date.

Speak your preference, Viking kin: Raiding, looting, pillaging, slaughtering.

Maybe Erich the Blood Ax has seen her.

Whoa. Your name, wench.

Detective Rizzoli. Boston Homicide.

I'm sorry.

- We're role-playing. - Get it. Yeah.

Uh, we're looking for a Viking named Gunnhild.

Sure, yeah, the babe.

She's in the lower realm.

- Come on. - Please, no.

I got one life left.

Oh, crap. Miss Dee? Kendra?

Call for backup. We gotta lock this place down.

Hey, you. You, hey.

I need all units in the area at Solly's Comic Store.

- Did you see anyone come in here? - No, sir, ma'am. Ma'am.

Make sure nobody leaves this store, all right? Go on.

She was stabbed with a dagger just like in the game.

Well, who the hell is Undirmaor? Because that's our killer.

Tell me you have something because we don't have a single witness.

I found a hair on Kendra's cloak. No root ball.

But we are trying a new forensic laser technique.

It uses ultraviolet light and mass spectometry.

Faster, please.

Zaps the hair and turns it into a gas.

Explain how that's gonna help me solve murders.

May help determine what the killer ate over the year.

How is knowing how many Ding Dongs our suspect ate helpful?

The mass spectrometer results are back on the hair tests.

- I know you've been waiting. - Thank you.

Because hair grows slowly over time, it creates a timeline of sorts.

Okay, so, what did the killer eat, uh, let me see, for breakfast in April?

- That's interesting. - It certainly is.

Strawberry waffles? Eggs Benedict?

Fermented minke whale and sheep's head cheese.

Where would you get minke whale and sheep's head cheese...

...assuming you'd want it?

Scandinavia.

Scandinavia.

- Maura, what does Undirmaor mean? - In English?

No. In Proto-Hobbit. Yes, in English.

Underling or apprentice.

Apprentice.

Or assistant.

Maura, we know someone who's probably been eating whale or sheep.

Got a warrant. Alibi was bullshit.

The airline just confirmed Ruby Burke, Jensen's assistant...

...flew standby on an earlier flight from Reykjavik.

- Nice, Frost. - Okay, thanks.

- Ruby didn't show up to work today. - She's playing "Vikings" somewhere.

- So I put a BOLO out in the Realm? - No. I built an avatar to find her.

- Looks just like you. - Ha, ha.

Gotta go in disguise.

I still don't understand the point of this stupid game.

Well, what is so hard about it?

You raid ships, plunder villages, kill sworn enemies to win.

Win what? A fantasy lover?

Wait a minute. I don't think this is about winning. I think this is about love.

Greg Jensen was having a real affair with Ruby?

I don't know. Wasn't much of an affair. There wasn't evidence of her at his love nest.

And the secretions and seminal fluid we found were a month old.

Unless Jensen had pity sex.

Pity sex?

Yeah, one-time pity sex.

Right before he sent Ruby to Scandinavia.

I mean, he froze her out. In real life and in the game too.

So Ruby must've stalked him in the game, figured out that he had a new virtual lover.

Gunnhild a.k.a. Kendra Dee.

Frost...

- ...check and see if Olaf is online. - Olaf?

But Greg Jensen is dead in the IRL.

So explain why Olaf is online in his Back Bay love nest.

Not Olaf, Undirmaor.

Ruby, put your hands in the air.

Olaf, my love.

Undirmaor, at last you're here.

She doesn't even know we're here. Korsak, unplug that thing.

No. No.

Olaf? Olaf, please come back, my love.

Ruby, it's over.

It's not over. We were finally together. Turn it on.

- Bring him back. - He's not coming back. Greg's dead, Ruby.

I loved him.

He loved me.

Did he love Ruby Burke or did he love Undirmaor?

He loved me. Me.

Olaf loved Undirmaor and I thought...

...oh, God, if only.

If only he knew that it was me. Me, Ruby, right there all along.

Did you tell him who you were before or after you slept with him a month ago?

I gave him my flesh.

And then when I told him I was Undirmaor, he just--

He sent me away.

Ruby, you're under arrest for the murder of Greg Jensen.

No. No, please turn it back on.

And Kendra Dee.

No. No. He's not gone. No, he's not gone.

He can't be. He can't be gone.

Aah! Go right to jail.

My turn. I want to buy me some property.

Hope you hid the good silver.

You pretend to be such a bad-ass, but you're really a pushover.

I'm glad you brought them here.

Why, so you can study aberrant juvenile behavior?

They just need some attention and a little support.

They've never played a board game. Do you believe that?

How much garlic did you put on this bread?

- Six cloves. - Six cloves?

They're homeless teenagers, they're not vampires.

What about Dania?

Well, I'm going to keep an eye on her and so are you.

And we'll make sure that she puts that big brain to good use.

I talked to Cavanaugh. The mentor program is now official.

- Yes. - Oh, no, I wanted Park Place.

Too bad, Mrs. Vanilla.

- Hey, Vanilla. - Yeah.

I'm a landlord. Ha, ha.

I never pictured an evening in with Rondo.

- Jane. - Hmm?

You don't think that your mom might....

I don't wanna seem uncharitable, but--

Yes, I will make sure that Rondo's Rejects family...

...does not move into your guesthouse. Yes.

Who's hungry?

- I'm starving. - Me too.

- Thank you. - This looks good.

All right, lasagna's hot.

- I got it. I got it. - No, no, no.

- Just, look, like this. - Okay.