Original subtitles

[■■]

>>LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

JORDAN TALBOT. NO.

(WHISPERING)

>>LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

JORDAN TALBOT.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, JORDAN!

>>LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

JORDAN TALBOT.

>>LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

JORDAN TALBOT. HOLD ON.

UP A LITTLE HIGHER.

NO, JUST DOWN.

>>LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, JORDAN--

WAIT.

>>LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, JORDAN

TALBOT!

>>HEY JORDAN, WHAT'S UP?

[■■]

>>SO, THROUGHOUT THE EPISODE,

YOU'RE GOING TO SEE JORDAN IN A

BUNCH OF SKETCHES AND SOME

BUMPERS. AND HE MAY EVEN BE

FEATURED IN A SKETCH.

>>THIS NEXT SKETCH SHOWS YOU

WHY IT'S GOOD TO HAVE FRIENDS...

THAT ARE REAL.

HERE'S "THE IMAGINARY FRIEND".

>>THERE.

MY SANDCASTLE'S ALL DONE.

THINK IT NEEDS A MOAT?

>>I DON'T KNOW, MAN.

BUILDING SANDCASTLES SUCKS.

AND THESE IMAGINARY BATTLES ARE

BORING.

>>DID SOMEBODY SAY "IMAGINARY"?

>>PICKLES!

>>YEAH!

>>WOW, WHO'S THAT?

>>IT'S MY IMAGINARY FRIEND,

PICKLES.

HE'S A CAT.

>>HEY GUYS, YOU BETTER BUILD

YOUR MOAT FAST.

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO DEFEND

YOURSELF FROM ALL THESE SPIDER

CRABS!

>>WOW!

>>HEY, LET'S PLAY

"TIC-TAC-TOC".

>>HOW DO YOU PLAY?

>>WELL, IT'S EASY!

TIC-TIC-TIC-TIC...

>>TOC!

>>TIC-TIC...

>>TOC!

>>TIC-TIC...

>>TOC!

>>TIC!

>>TOC!

>>TIC!

>>TOC!

>>YOU WIN!

>>YAY!

>>CHECK THIS OUT!

>>WOW, PICKLES IS AWESOME.

>>I KNOW, RIGHT?

HEY, DO YOU HAVE ANY IMAGINARY

FRIENDS?

>>NOPE.

>>REALLY?

>>NAH.

>>COME ON, EVERYBODY HAS

IMAGINARY FRIENDS.

>>LOOK, JUST DON'T SAY THAT

WORD TOO LOUD, OKAY?

>>DID SOMEBODY SAY IMAGINARY?

>>I COULD HAVE SWORN I HEARD

SOMEBODY SAY THAT WORD.

>>WHO ARE THEY?

>>MY IMAGINARY JEWISH

GRANDPARENTS.

>>LOOK AT YOU, YOU'RE FILTHY.

LOOK, YOU'VE GOT ALL THIS

SCHMUTZ IN YOUR CHILD-BEARD.

OY!

>>WHO'S THIS?

SOME SORT OF A GAY CAT?

>>WELL, I AM A CAT.

>>HE'S TALL...

>>YEAH, IT'S A GAY CAT.

>>GAY CAT.

>>WELL, I RESPECTFULLY

DISAGREE.

>>YOU TALKIN' BACK TO MY WIFE?

>>NO, I-I WAS JUST RESPECTFULLY

DISAGREEING.

>>NOW I FEEL UPSET.

>>YOU'RE ALWAYS UPSET.

>>BECAUSE YOU'RE ALWAYS

YELLING.

>>THAT'S HOW YOU DROVE AWAY

MORDECAI, OUR REAL IMAGINARY

SON.

>>I HAVE NO REAL IMAGINARY SON!

>>WE'RE JUST TRYING TO HAVE A

GOOD TIME.

PLEASE STOP!

>>HEY, CHECK THIS OUT!

(LAUGHING)

>>WHAT WAS THAT?

>>BOOTS!

>>TINY BOOTS.

WHO'D WEAR THOSE?

>>NO ONE.

>>YEAH, NOBODY.

NO ONE CARES.

ANYWAY, LET'S GET YOU OUT OF

HERE.

>>I DON'T WANT TO GO.

>>OKAY.

>>SEE YOU LATER, BUDDY!

>>BYE.

>>WHOA!

>>OH YEAH.

>>OH, YOU'RE SO DRAMATIC.

>>DRAMA IS ALL I HAVE.

I'M AN IMAGINARY JEWISH

GRANDFATHER.

>>YOU STILL HAVE AN ENLARGED

PROSTATE.

>>I DON'T TALK ABOUT MY ASS!

>>HEY PICKLES...

WHERE DO YOU GO WHEN YOU'RE NOT

WITH ME?

>>HELL.

>>WHAT?

>>WANT TO SEE A HALF SECOND OF

HELL?

>>HEY BRETT, HOW'S IT COMING?

>>GREAT!

>>SETTLED IN OKAY?

>>YEAH, ALL SETTLED IN.

>>JUST HAD A COUPLE OF CHANGES

TO THE REPORT YOU HANDED

IN, THERE.

UH, COULD YOU OPEN THE FOLDER ON

YOUR DESKTOP THERE?

JUST SOME PROCEDURAL THINGS.

I UNDERSTAND THERE'S A LEARNING

CURVE AND YOU'RE NEW HERE.

WE LIKE TO HAVE ALL HEADINGS

BOLDED AND ITALICIZED.

AND WE ONLY USE HELVETICA FONT

HERE. KEEPS THINGS LIGHT AND

INFORMAL.

NO SERIFS, NO PROBLEM.

>>HEH-HEH!

>>LITTLE SAYING WE HAVE.

AND COULD YOU ACTUALLY SIT UP

STRAIGHT IN YOUR CHAIR?

WE HAVE ANOTHER SAYING HERE, BAD

POSTURE IS GENERALLY CONSIDERED

TO BE INFERIOR TO GOOD POSTURE.

B-P-I-G-C-T-B-I-T-G-P.

JUST REMEMBER THE WORD

"BPIGCTBITGP".

>>BPIGCTGB.

>>BPIGCTBITGP.

>>BPIGCT--

>>BPIGCTBITGP.

>>BPIGCTBITGP.

>>GOOD. ONE MORE THING

I NEED TO SHOW YOU.

COULD YOU OPEN THE JANUARY

SPREAD SHEET THERE?

>>SURE.

>>WHEN YOU ANSWER IN THE

AFFIRMATIVE, INSTEAD OF SAYING

"SURE" COULD YOU PLEASE SAY

"YEAH" WITH A SHARP, INWARD

GASP?

>>YEAH?

>>YEAH!

>>YEAH!

>>YEAH!

>>YEAH!

>>GOOD.

KEEPS THINGS CONSISTENT WITH

EVERYONE ELSE. YOU DON'T WANT TO

STICK OUT AS THE NEW GUY, EH?

>>NO.

>>NOPE.

>>NOPE!

>>NOPE!

>>NOPE.

>>NOPE!

>>NOPE!

>>NOW, I DO NOTICE YOU

HAVE THE TOP BUTTON OF YOUR

SHIRT UNDONE.

SO I'M JUST GOING TO GET THIS

FOR YOU.

OKAY, JUST KIND OF TIGHTEN YOUR

TIE.

I'M JUST GOING TO KEEP

TIGHTENING.

YOU'RE GOING TO LOSE

CONSCIOUSNESS TEMPORARILY.

AND UH, NOW I'M JUST GOING TO

TAKE OUT SOME LIPSTICK AND JUST

PUT IT ON YOUR LIPS.

OKAY, THERE WE GO.

GREAT!

YEAH, LOOKS GOOD.

LOOKS PRETTY.

YEAH, YOU LIKE TO BE PRETTY, EH?

I'M JUST GOING TO TOUCH YOUR

FACE A LITTLE BIT, NOW.

IT'S A GOOD FACE.

NICE PROFESSIONAL FACE.

(GASPING)

[■■]

>>THANKS MAN.

[■■]

>>HI THERE.

WE'RE SANDRA AND JUDY,

TWO-THIRDS OF THE FAMOUS SINGING

WINSLOW TRIPLETS AND MY STARS,

DO WE HAVE A TREAT FOR YOU.

>>THAT'S RIGHT, SANDRA, WE ARE

BACK AFTER A 10-YEAR HIATUS AND

WE ARE SO PLEASED TO BE ABLE TO

OFFER YOU A GREATEST HITS

PACKAGE, THE LIKES OF WHICH YOU

HAVE NEVER SEEN.

SO LET'S ALL PUT ON OUR GUITAR

SHOES AND TAKE A STRUM DOWN

MEMORY LANE.

>>ON THIS 3-DISC COMPILATION,

YOU'LL FIND SOME OF YOUR

FAVOURITE WINSLOW TRIPLET SONGS,

>>WE'VE EVEN INCLUDED SOME

HONKY-TONK TREASURES FROM OUR

>>AND IF YOU ORDER RIGHT NOW,

WE'LL EVEN THROW IN OUR BRAND

NEW ALBUM.

>>NEW ALBUM?

>>"ONE FOR THE MONEY", WHERE

YOU'LL FIND THESE GOOD TIME

>>WHAT?

>>SANDRA! SANDRA!

>>AND KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED FOR

MY UPCOMING ALBUM, "FEELIN' KIND

OF LONELY".

INCLUDING SOME OF THESE SURE TO

>>FOR YOUR COPY OF THE WINSLOW

TRIPLETS DISCOGRAPHY, CALL

1-000-555-WINS AND HAVE YOUR

>>OKAY, WE'VE GOT THE FAN, HERE

IN THE NORTH END OF HALIFAX

OUTSIDE A FAMILY RESIDENCE.

WHAT ARE YOU CHEERING FOR,

TODAY?

>>I DON'T KNOW!

HELP ME!

WOO!

WOO!

>>OH HEY, RIGHT ON.

YOU GUYS LISTENIN' TO HAWAIIAN

POP MUSIC?

>>YEAH, WHAT OF IT?

>>OH, COOL MAN.

YOU GOT ANY DON HO?

"TINY BUBBLES" I LOVE THAT

STUFF.

>>BRO, GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE

WITH THAT WATERED-DOWN DON HO

BULLSHIT.

THIS IS REAL HAWAIIAN POP MUSIC.

>>TELL 'EM, JAMIE!

>>THIS IS A MIX TAPE I MADE:

SUNNY CHILLINGWORTH LEDWOOD

CANAPANA.

>>GIVE 'EM HELL, JAMIE.

>>WHY DON'T YOU TAKE DON HO'S

DICK OUT OF YOUR EAR AND COME

BACK WHEN YOU'RE READY TO LISTEN

TO SOME REAL HAWAIIAN POP MUSIC.

>>BOOM, JAMIE, BOOM!

LET'S MURDER THIS GUY!

>>HAWAIIAN POP MUSIC.

EACH YEAR, THOUSANDS OF TEENS

FLY OFF THE HANDLE IN DEFENSE OF

REAL HAWAIIAN POP MUSIC.

BUT HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED HOW

HAWAIIAN POP MUSIC IS MADE?

WHERE DOES IT COME FROM?

AND HOW IS IT MADE?

TO FIND OUT, LET'S TAKE A LITTLE

TRIP TO HAWAII ON THE HAWAIIAN

ISLAND TRAVEL TOBOGGAN.

READY, TRAVEL TOBOGGAN?

HERE, ARISTOCRATS ARE BUSY

PICKING HAWAIIAN POP MUSIC

LEAVES.

THEY'LL LISTEN TO EACH LEAF AND

IF IT SOUNDS FRESH AND

INTERESTING, THEY'LL PUT IT IN A

BASKET MARKED "REAL HAWAIIAN POP

MUSIC".

IF IT SOUNDS WATERED-DOWN AND

BORING, THEY'LL PUT IT IN

ANOTHER BASKET MARKED "DON HO".

THE LEAVES ARE DELIVERED TO

CHEMISTS WHO BOIL THEM INTO A

SWEET LIQUEUR WHICH THEN BECOMES

CDS OF ALL YOUR FAVOURITE

HAWAIIAN POP MUSIC BANDS,

INCLUDING KEVIN HEAVENS, JOJO

SNICKERS, THE HAPPIEST MAN IN

THE WORLD AND THE BERNHOFTS.

>>WE'RE THE BERNHOFTS.

WE LOVE THAT REAL HAWAIIAN POP

MUSIC.

NOT THAT WEAK SAUCE DON HO

BULLSHIT.

>>WE ARE THE BERNHOFTS.

>>BUT WHERE DID THE MUSIC

LEAVES COME FROM?

TO FIND OUT, LET'S TAKE A TRIP

TO HEAVEN.

YES, GOD MAKES THE LEAVES.

EACH MORNING, HE MAKES 10

HAWAIIAN POP MUSIC LEAVES BY

WAVING HIS HEAVEN WAND, WHICH

EMERGES FROM HIS BEARD, MAKING

GOD LOOK LIKE A BIT OF A BEARD

UNICORN.

WHY DOES HE TAKE THE TIME OUT OF

HIS DAY TO MAKE THE LEAVES?

>>I LOVE HAWAIIAN POP MUSIC,

MAN. THE REAL SHIT.

NOT THAT DON HO WEAK SAUCE,

FM RADIO BULLSHIT.

MAN, WHY'D I MAKE DON HO IN THE

FIRST PLACE, MAN?

THAT GUY'S WEAK SAUCE.

BEARD UNICORN!

>>BUT WHERE DOES GOD COME FROM?

>>FROM A WITCH'S FIST.

>>SO YOU CAN THANK THE SPACE

WITCH FOR THAT CLASSIC HAWAIIAN

POP MUSIC SOUND.

>>YOU'RE WELCOME.

>>PRETTY COOL, HUH?

>>YO, YOU SAY WE OVERREACTED?

>>ARE YOU KIDDING ME, JAMIE?

THAT GUY HAD SHIT TASTE, JAMIE.

[■■]

>>THEY CALL ME LENNY, I'M FROM

THE KOOK.

EVERYBODY WANTS TO SAY WHAT A

GOOF.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THEY MEAN.

THEY JUST CAN'T BEAT ME.

AND THAT'S WHY THEY'RE ALL SO

EASY TO PICK ON, MAKE FUN OF,

LAUGH AT.

IF THEY WANT, I'LL JUST CALL

THEM ALL FAT.

HOW 'BOUT I SAY SOMETHING

MEANER?

I'VE GOT A FATHER AND YOU'VE

JUST GOT A BEENER.

I'VE GOT A FATHER AND YOU'VE

JUST GOT A BEENER.

I'VE GOT A FATHER AND YOU'VE

JUST GOT A BEENER.

I'M THE COOL ONE AND YOU'RE JUST

DEAD.

I'VE GOT A FATHER AND YOU'VE

JUST GOT A BEENER.

I'VE GOT A FATHER AND YOU'VE

JUST GOT A BEENER.

IF-IF THEY WANT, I'LL JUST CALL

THEM ALL FAT.

C-CALL THEM ALL FAT.

I'VE GOT A FATHER AND YOU'VE

JUST GOT A BEENER.

THAT MEANS I'M COOL AND YOU'RE

JUST A LOOGIE.

MAYBE YOU ARE AN MAYBE YOU'RE

NOT.

L-L-LOOGIE.

I'VE GOT A FATHER AND YOU'VE

JUST GOT A BEENER.

I'VE GOT A FATHER AND YOU'VE

JUST GOT A BEENER.

IF-IF THEY WANT, I'LL JUST CALL

THEM ALL FAT.

C-CALL THEM ALL FAT.

>>BIG ON, BIG BITE, JORDAN.

BIG BITE.

OKAY, GO, GET OUT OF THERE,

[■■]

>>HEY, WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENED TO

YOU?

>>I DON'T KNOW!

IT'S LIKE A PUZZLE I HAVE TO

SOLVE IN REVERSE.

BUT I DON'T KNOW WHERE ANY OF

THE CLUES ARE!

PLEASE.

I WAS A FAMILY MAN.

I'VE LOST EVERYTHING.

I HAVEN'T STOPPED CHEERING IN 8

YEARS.

WOOO!

WOOO!

>>WELL, THERE YOU HAVE IT.

BACK TO YOU, TREVEN.

>>THIS NEXT SKETCH, TO SHARE

FOR ALL YOU FRIENDS OF MINE IS

"BIG BROTHER".

>>MR. LEADER, THE BIG BROTHER

CAMPAIGN WAS PERFECT FOR YOUR

GOVERNMENT IN 1984 BECAUSE YOU

NEEDED TO STRANGLE THE POPULACE

WITH FEAR.

>>BUT IT'S NOT 1984 ANYMORE.

>>HUH!

THE CAMPAIGN HAS LOST ITS

IMPACT.

PEOPLE ARE TIRED OF FEAR.

>>THEY'RE DEPRESSED.

>>BIG BROTHER NEEDS UH, A FRESH

IMAGE.

A NEW ATTITUDE, UH...

WHAT ABOUT A SOFTER BIG BROTHER?

CHECK THIS OUT.

OH, THAT'S NICE.

AND WHAT SAYS BIG BROTHER BETTER

THAN...

>>OH, OH...

A LITTLE SIS.

>>NOW, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE

THINKING; BIG BROTHER, LITTLE

SIS?

WHERE'S THE REST OF THE FAMILY?

MAY I INTRODUCE...

>>MAMA BROTHER.

>>MAMA!

>>COOL TONY.

>>MY MAN!

>>UNCLE AKRA.

>>CATCH PHRASE!

>>AND THAT WACKY NEIGHBOUR,

MR. KIM.

>>COME DOWN, MR. KIM.

>>SO...

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

>>I THANK YOU GENTLEMEN, BUT I

DON'T THINK WE CAN GO IN THAT

DIRECTION.

>>OH, UH...

WELL, UH, WE UNDERSTAND.

>>AND IF YOU COULD JUST EXIT

THROUGH THAT DOOR ON THE LEFT,

THAT WOULD BE FANTASTIC.

>>WE ACTUALLY CAME IN THROUGH

THIS DOOR OVER HERE.

>>YEAH, I KNOW, I'M JUST GOING

TO NEED YOU TO LEAVE THROUGH THE

DOOR ON YOUR LEFT.

>>I LEFT MY CAR RUNNING...

>>JUST OPEN THE DOOR MARKED

"BEARS" THANK YOU.

[■■]

[■■]

(SCREAMING)

[■■]

>>SO-S-S-S-S-SOMEBODY SAY

IMAGINARY?

>>(GASPING)

>>BOOTS!

BOOTS!

BOOTS! BOOTS!

>>(SCREAMING)

>>YOU WIN!

>>I TAKE MY LEAVE OF THIS WORLD

KNOWING KNOWING I WON'T BE

MISSED.

AT LEAST I KNOW I WON'T HAVE TO

WAKE UP IN PAIN ANYMORE.

[■■]

>>CHO! YEAH!

>>WHO ARE YOU?

>>I AM THE GENIE OF THE GUN.

SINCE YOU FREED ME, I SHALL

GRANT YOU 3 WISHES.

>>I DON'T WANT ANY WISHES, I

JUST WANT TO DIE.

>>OH, COME ON, MAN.

WISHES CAN TURN YOUR LIFE

AROUND.

KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

YOU COULD HAVE ANYTHING.

IS IT GIRL TROUBLE?

THROW A WISH MY WAY, MAKE

SOMEONE FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU.

YOU KNOW?

DO SOME THINGS...

>>NO.

>>WON'T BE LIKE, WEIRD IF I

WISH HER INTO LIKING IT.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

>>NO.

WHAT? NO. I DON'T WANT THAT.

>>WISH FOR A NICE PAIR OF SUEDE

SHOES.

OR MAYBE A SUEDE BOWLER HAT OR

WHO KNOWS, MAYBE A SWATHE OF

RAW, UNCUT SUEDE.

>>YEAH, NO, I DON'T WANT ANY OF

THOSE THINGS.

SO UM...

GOOD BYE.

>>HEY, WAIT!

>>WHAT THE HELL?

>>THOUGHT MAYBE YOU HAD NO

BLOOD SUGAR. HAVE A NIBBLE.

MIGHT PULL YOU OUT OF THE

DUMPY-DUMPS.

>>I DON'T WANT TO EAT A

CHOCOLATE BAR.

>>MAN, YOU'VE GOT LOW BLOOD

SUGAR WRITTEN ALL OVER YOU.

>>I DON'T WANT ANY CHOCOLATE.

>>HAVE A BITE.

TRUST ME ON THIS ONE.

YOU'LL FEEL BETTER IMMEDIATELY.

>>I REALLY DON'T THINK ME

EATING A CHOCOLATE BAR IS GOING

TO HELP ME WITH ANY OF THIS,

OKAY?

>>BUDDY, SUGAR HAS A LOT TO DO

WITH HOW A HUMAN FEELS ON A

MOMENT TO MOMENT--

>>I DON'T WANT YOUR CHOCOLATE

BAR!

>>JUST EAT THE FUCKIN'

CHOCOLATE BAR AND BE COOL AND

THEN WE'LL CHAT.

>>WHY DON'T YOU EAT THE

CHOCOLATE BAR IF YOU WANT IT SO

MUCH.

>>I WILL!

FASTER THAN YOU CAN BLINK.

>>WHOA!

OH, GOODNESS.

WHOOPS.

WHOOPS!

WHOOPS.

SHIT.

HUH.

NOT WORTH THE PRICE OF

>>THAT WAS PRETTY FAST.

>>WAS IT?

>>OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

>>WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

>>I'M GOING TO SLIT MY WRISTS.

>>HEY, WAIT! COOL BRACELET!

>>IS THIS AN ANTI-CANCER

BRACELET?

>>YOU GOT IT, MAN, YEAH.

>>I DON'T HAVE CANCER.

>>YOU WANT IT?

>>NO.

(GROANING)

>>OH, HELP ME.

WHAT ARE YOU?

>>WHY'D YOU PUT ME THROUGH

CHEMO?

>>I'M NOT GOD.

I CAN'T JUST CURE CANCER.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT

TOASTER?

>>I'M GOING TO ELECTROCUTE

MYSELF.

>>YOU'LL HAVE A HARD TIME DOING

THAT WITH A...

PSYCHOLOGIST!

>>NOW, WHY DO YOU WANT TO KILL

YOURSELF, SANDY?

>>WILL YOU GET RID OF THIS GUY?

>>YOU GOT IT.

>>STOP IT!

STOP IT!

STOP, STOP!

STOP!

>>OKAY.

>>I DIDN'T MEAN GIVE HIM

CANCER.

>>I DIDN'T GIVE HIM CANCER.

I JUST MADE HIM BALD AND THEN

JUST RIDDLED HIM WITH...

AIDS.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

EH!

>>SUEDE!

>>SUEDE!

THAT'S TOP QUALITY SUEDE, MAN.

NO, DON'T.

SUEDE SHOES.

>>WHY DO YOU LIKE SUEDE SO

MUCH?

>>WHY?

>>YES!

>>WHY?

■WHY?■

■LET ME TELL YOU

WHY I DO THIS■

WHOA!

OH...

HELP ME.

PLEASE, NO!

WHEN A GENIE DIES, HE GOES TO

HELL, MAN.

[■■]

■GENIE, GUN GENIE■

■COMES OUT OF A GUN

TO HAVE SOME GOOD TIMES■

■GENIE, GUN GENIE■

■DIES AND GOES TO HELL WITH

THE REST OF HIS GENIE FRIENDS■

■HELL IS A PLACE FOR GENIES■

■HELL IS A PLACE FOR GENIES

TO HANG OUT, YEAH!■

>>GUN GENIE, THIS 5 MINUTES AGO

[■■]

>>HERE FOR THE BEAR ROOM?

HERE TO APPLY FOR THE BEAR ROOM.

>>UH, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE

ACTUALLY-- UH, THERE ARE REAL

BEARS IN THERE.

>>YEAH, AS YOU SEE ON

MY RESUME, CERTIFIED BEAR.

>>IT'S QUITE CLEAR THAT YOU'RE

NOT AN ACTUAL BEAR.

I MEAN I CAN-- I CAN SEE YOUR

HANDS UNDERNEATH THOSE CLAWS,

THERE.

THAT'S-- THIS IS A FAIRLY

>>IT'S A REAL TOUGH JOB MARKET,

SO...

>>YOU KNOW WHAT?

ALL RIGHT, FINE.

YOU'RE-YOU'RE HIRED.

>>HEY JEFF, GOOD TO BE WORKIN'

WITH YA.

[■■]

>>LET'S QUICKLY DO-- WE'RE

GOING TO HAVE YOU WRAP UP THE

SHOW, OKAY?

SORRY, WE'RE JUST REALLY PRESSED

FOR TIME.

>>NO PROBLEM, MAN.

>>WHAT?

>>WE GOTTA GO.

>>YEAH, I JUST GOT TO DO-- WE

JUST GOT TO DO ONE MORE, WE'RE

JUST LIKE, 5-- JUST GIVE ME 5

MINUTES.

>>NO, WE'VE GOT TO MOVE ON.

>>BIFF, CAN YOU JUST GIVE ME 2

MINUTES, PLEASE?

>>NO! NO!

>>JORDAN, JUST STAND THERE.

DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, JUST STAND

THERE.

JUST STAND THERE.

JUST STAND THERE, OKAY JORDAN,

YOU'RE DOING GREAT. OKAY?

JUST A SECOND, FOR FUCK SAKES!

>>SHUT UP!

SHUT UP!

SORRY MAN, SORRY.

SORRY-SORRY-SORRY.

JORDAN.

JUST-- JUST STAND OVER HERE.

>>I'M GOING TO EXPLODE.

>>NO, BIFF, JUST GIVE US A

SECOND.

IF YOU WOULD ACTUALLY SHUT UP

FOR A SECOND, WE COULD WE

COULD-- HE COULD SAY A LINE!

IF YOU COULD JUST LIKE-- JUST

ACTUALLY DO IT.

PLEASE STAND-- I DON'T MEAN TO

YELL AT-- I'M NOT YELLING AT

YOU, MAN, YOU'RE DOING

FANTASTIC.

>>DID SOMEONE GIVE HIM AN

APPLE?

>>HOLY FUCK!

>>DID SOMEBODY JUST GIVE HIM AN

APPLE?

>>YEAH, JUST OKAY. IT'S GOOD?

JUST LOOK RIGHT INTO THE CAMERA

AND DON'T LISTEN TO THIS GUY.

JUST DON'T LISTEN TO BIFF, JUST

LOOK RIGHT AT THE CAMERA, OKAY?

I WANT YOU TO JUST HOLD THIS

TIGER PLEASE?

JUST HOLD THE TIGER.

JUST HOLD THE FUCKIN' TIGER AND

JUST...

FUCK!

>>LET GO!

>>GUYS, SHUT UP!

EVERYBODY, JUST GET THE FUCK.

BILL, JUST GET OUT OF THE SPACE.

(SCREAMING)

>>DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, DON'T

LISTEN TO HIM.

WE HAVE ONE MINUTE ON THE CARD.

SAY THE LINE. GO FOR IT.

ACTION.

>>THIS WAS AN AWESOME SHOW