Original subtitles

Hey, what's crackin'? Hey, uh, nothing much. Just coming home for a few days

the weekend.

Well, how you been?

I've been good.

Yeah? Yeah, how have you been?

Your complexion looks nice. You look really cute.

Oh, thanks.

How have you been? Been a little bit. I've been, you know.

You seem a little depressed.

Is your mind somewhere else? What's going on?

Huh? You seem a little upset.

Is something going on?

No. I mean, I'm supposed to head out to the pool party later.

So I'm in every time, huh?

Is that what's happening?

Mm -hmm.

Yeah?

I haven't seen you longer than 30 seconds, and you can't even hug me or

What? You didn't even say hi to me. What the hell? I'm sorry. You're trying to

get past me to go to a pool party. That's ridiculous.

What do you expect?

I'm in college, and this is what all of my friends are doing right now.

Well, I haven't seen you in forever. I just wanted to say hi to you. Will you

sit down on the couch and talk to me for a little bit?

Fine. What do you want to know about?

I want to know everything.

I want to know what you're studying.

I want to know if anybody's being mean to you.

I want to know if everybody's being nice to you.

Okay, well, you know what I'm studying for, obviously.

Going to school to be a doctor.

Is that right?

Well...

You know what? You change your managers up.

You change your managers like boyfriends.

You only get one life, okay? I have to make the right decision. Now you're

to med school. This is new to me.

And I'm paying for it. My mom didn't tell you.

No, she didn't tell me. She's out blowing some fucking bartender

Your mom's a cheater.

She's fucking bartending dickholes.

This bitch has been fucking around on me. She's fucking with them bartenders.

Yeah, mom's a hoe. We all know that already. Yeah, she's back there riding

bars, sucking her dick holes, licking them fucking eggs.

They're fucking flipping her upside down, eating her monkey.

Does she still fuck your dick?

She ain't sucking my dick.

I know them bartenders are sucking on her monkey.

She's hot.

True. Yeah, she's got that funky monkey monkey.

But not like her daughter.

I wouldn't know anything. Yeah, but the thing about that, you just are a

younger, hotter version than her.

Exactly.

But, I'm assuming everything else is better too.

But back to college. I want to hear more about what is cracking.

Nothing really. I'm supposed to go to a pool party tonight.

Might fuck someone, might not.

What the hell are you talking to me about that for? I don't want you having

with anybody. I don't need no damn grandchildren running around. I'm an

now, okay?

No, you're not old enough to be making that kind of decision.

What do you mean? Of course I am.

I'm at the age I can fuck whoever I want now.

It makes me sad.

I don't want you to.

I just want you to all to myself.

And just stay here and play your little video games and hang out at the house

forever. No, Dad.

And go out back and play volleyball and act like you're cool.

One of those days. What happened?

You ain't going to pool parties and suck the pecker holes?

I'll suck the pecker holes, but I'm not five. I'm not going to freaking...

What's funny about sucking pecker holes? I don't understand what you're doing.

Yeah, baby.

And you're going to lick... Don't be licking away at these old salty balls at

party.

Why not?

Because I may not have been for three or four days. You don't know who they are.

Interesting point, right?

I guess so.

Who else am I supposed to fuck?

Well, there's always... There's always me.

I'm sitting here doing nothing these days. You're all grown up. I can do

whatever the fuck you want. You... I mean... Isn't that... You're my stepdad.

you think that's like...

Who knows? Who the fuck? I don't think anybody knows it's okay anymore, do you?

No. I mean, I guess mom is out fucking up other people right now. She's not

fucking getting her ass laid.

She is.

I don't doubt it. Why do you think that's funny? That's not funny to me.

She's not getting her ass laid. Well, it's funny to me.

Yeah, what about me? I'm sitting here all alone, sad, depressed. So find

to get laid with.

I will. How about this?

How about...

You show me what you got in your bag. I have a feeling you have something in

there. What is in there?

It's just my bathing suit for the pool party. Oh, see, I knew you were rocking

something. Trying to hide something in that little bag.

I knew you had something going on. There better not be no drugs in there.

No drugs.

It's just the bikini.

This is out of control. You come to visit for the weekend just to go to a

party? Well, yeah.

I'm not going to just... Sit around and wait at the house. It's boring.

You've got to come party and get your ass waked. That's not cool.

Yeah. No.

I'm a college girl now. Come on.

That's what you guys do? I have to have fun.

Well, you know what? Life isn't all fun and games.

Sometimes you've got to take things serious, like trying on baby pictures. I

take sucking dick very seriously. What the hell? Don't say that to me.

I'm going to cry.

It's scary as hell.

I mean,

you said it yourself earlier.

I got an idea.

How much money you got for this pool party?

Not enough.

Do you want to show up and be the life of the party with a bunch of cool stuff?

What do I have to do?

What do you mean, what do you have to do? Look at you jumping to conclusions.

Look. I will let you have one of those credit cards in there.

Two.

Okay, two credit cards. You take two. I don't care which ones you take. It

doesn't matter to me.

I'll just take the rest and owe them. Get reimbursed.

I'll give it down.

You know?

But you know what? You're already going to have to dig out and try on those

bathing suits for me if I can tell you if you should rock them or not.

Fine.

That's one. Yeah, you need some money. Look at you. I knew it. That's why you

came home. You needed fucking money. I do.

So why didn't you just do that when you walked in the door instead of being

like, you didn't even hug me. That was mean.

My feelings are hurt.

Oh, if you hug me, I'll unhurt your feelings.

How about I unhurt your feelings?

Your feelings are hurt too.

So I never knew you weren't yet.

That must be your only feeling.

This is what you want me to put on?

Yes, go ahead. Put it on. I want to see what it looks like.

What if your mom walked in right now?

She shouldn't care. She's fucked like ten allergies at least.

You know what's crazy? She's not going to walk in. You know how? I know. How?

Because I put a little fucking bug in her car. I know where she's at.

So she won't catch up?

No, she's not eating bugs.

So I can fuck your dick?

What the hell? You're a bad girl. You want to practice on me? Is that what

you're saying?

Yeah.

I just started college. I have to make sure that I'm good, okay? I have to

that. What are you telling me when I play Monday? What's this all about?

You want to give me a handy first and then see if you can work your way to

Of course.

Only if you give me the two credit cards, though. Not one. Two.

Yeah, it's all about the money, right? Yeah, right. I don't believe that.

There's something that tells me that. Is there?

Could be I

just

bought it and I spent all my money on it. You're taking

up my World War II documentaries that I watch religiously.

You know how I am about my war documentaries?

I know.

I can't. I've got to watch all of them.

But this is probably much better. Much, much better.

It is.

Turn around.

I've got to do titties with Perky. You're cute.

Hello.

Look at you.

You're a bad girl. Don't do that.

You can't go to the party like that. That's not good.

Why not?

You're going to get in trouble.

The police will come and take you to jail. What every college girl wears now.

Okay, put your top on. Let's see what that says.

Is this what all the college girls are backing you?

Yes. I don't know what's going on in these damn colleges these days. What are

they teaching you anyway? Is it teaching how to respect it? Not yet?

Pretty much.

Well, that'll take you far in life.

Will it?

Well, yeah, it will. I promise you that.

Oh, you're going to flop down and watch some TV with me?

I thought you hated those War Doctor movies.

Normally I do.

So, what about that handy?

What about, uh, I want you, like, you can just hold it, and if you're

uncomfortable, then you don't have to do it. But you can't tell Mom, alright?

Okay. Promise?

Promise. Alright, cool.

So, are you cool with this? Are you sure?

I've got a boner. I've got a razor.

Let me see.

What?

I can't believe this.

Mom would freak out.

What do you mean?

Mom would freak out if she knew that I was looking at your dick right now.

Do you not like it?

I love it.

But that's not the point.

Okay, you can just touch it.

Good job.

Touch it?

Okay,

Rose, that gives you a little moisture.

It's a lot bigger than I expected it to be.

Is that a good thing?

Yeah.

Mom should be happy with this.

I don't understand what her problem is. I don't know.

I don't know.

Why for me?

It's true.

To hell with the handy, huh?

All right, fuck that. You said you've been doing blowjobs. Let's see what you

got.

You want a blowjob?

Sure, why not?

If you're comfortable with it.

Your terrible mom's not going to want it.

I'm not going to give a damn if she does. She can join in. She's just making

crazy every time.

That was all signature.

Who's better, me or mom?

You so far.

You just got started.

You want me to put a bowl in my mouth?

Hmm.

Thank you.

You just came in my mouth.

What's that?

You just came in my mouth.

I thought you were used to that.

Yeah, but not by my stepdad.

How's it taste?

Not too bad.

Better than I expected, to be honest.

You look pretty fucking awesome, too.

But here's the deal.

I'm not going to give you three credit cards. Just grab them out of my wallet.

Have a good time.

But be safe. Don't be getting cards and stuff like that. I won't. You promise?

Thank you, Daddy.

You promise?

No. I pinky promise.

No drugs, no alcohol. No drugs, no alcohol.

All right, well, you can grab your stuff and get out of here. I'm not going to

hang on to you.

Okay?

Fine. All right.

I missed you.

I got to catch up with you, even though it was really weird circumstances.

Well, you know what? No one needs to hear this, but... No, they don't.

If you ever want to do it again... Oh, you're into it. Look at you.

You're naughty.

Where are the credit cards?

They're in the kitchen.

Hey,

hey, hey. What are you doing?

Making leftovers.

Making leftovers? For who? Yourself?

Well, for me and you.

For me?

I didn't do anything. Well,

that's the way to you.

To make leftovers for me.

Oh, my God.

Pretty fucking cool.

Yeah.

Sorry, I'm kind of spoiled and surprised.

I'm fine.

Anyway, if it doesn't matter, because I came in here to talk to you about

something else.

About what?

Well, I was thinking last night, laying in bed alone, staring at the walls like

I do every night.

And I was thinking, I kind of want you to move home.

I think it's the best choice.

I can't move home right now. I have all of my friends and... Well, you're going

to have to.

And I don't know what to tell you.

You have to tell that boyfriend of yours.

You know, he's got a cricket dick. He's got to fuck off.

His dick looks like a butt on an old t -shirt from the 20s.

Huh?

How do you know?

It looks like a stack of buttons. I thought they were jeans.

Hmm.

You don't want to stack a button for the rest of your life, do you?

No. You want to stack it for dollars, damn it.

Why do you want me home?

Anyways, I want you to be here because I think I'm going to kick your mom out

and keep you.

You can't do that to mom.

Man, that bitch is out licking booty holes. That's all that's going down

now.

The food's burning.

I will. I'll take it off the burner instead.

What the hell do you want me to do?

Do I look like Gordon Ramsay to you?

Enough dad joke.

Yeah, well, you know what? I want you to come home and I'm willing to pay for

everything.

What do you mean pay for everything?

I will give you a new car.

I'll give you $100 ,000 and I'll pay for your entire moon and I'll pay your

student loans that way they don't bother you.

That is a pretty goddamn good deal.

Yeah, and I want you to fucking text that boyfriend of yours that he's got a

stack of buttons for a penis.

Fine. You'll do that?

The text is more important than the rest of it.

Yes, if everything that you just said is agreed on.

You will do it? You'll move home?

Yeah.

That's a lot of shit to offer, isn't it? That was a lot. That's like a car, a

hundred grand. That's like three years of having to do intern work and shit

after school.

I know.

That's why I'm going to come back.

Yeah, and then you can just work for me.

You can just, like, eat the day under my desk.

Just be like, hi, all day. That'd be awesome.

You're too cool. Too cool for school.

You are too fucking cool for school.

Too cool for school.

You're going to have to walk in there. I want you to walk into your school and

tell the dean, look here, you son of a bitch, you're nothing to me. And I want

you to throw your spiral notebook at him. And then I'll zip away in my new

that you bought me?

Yeah.

Deal. And then we'll go up into the hills and we'll fuck like animals.

Okay. People will hear us from all sides.

It'll be romantic.

You got a boner talking about that, don't you?

Yes, I do.

That's why I woke up with a boner.

I can see it.

You're being crazy. There's no boner.

There's no damn boner.

You're just trying to pick on me.

There's a boner that can stack a button.

It does?

Fuck you then.

Fuck you then.

You ain't doing shit.

I give you my big feet to fucking massage them.

I'd rather your dick massage my puppy.

How about that?

How about that?

Are you ready for that?

I don't know if you are.

You seem a little cocky since you went to school.

But I wake up, you're in there cooking breakfast, your mom's out on business.

Licking booty holes behind the bar. I just couldn't resist ever since I sucked

your dick. And then I come in here to offer you to stay here. This thing's

turning into something. It's getting dangerous.

Ever since I sucked your dick.

What about it?

I've been wanting more.

Wanting more? You've been thinking about it?

A little bit, yeah.

Really? Mm -hmm. I thought so. Me too. I could sense you were thinking about it.

Anyways, yeah.

Do you want me to help you with it? Is that what you want?

Yeah. You want to help with that? You want me to help you out?

How about I help you out?

What do you mean?

Come here.

I'll show you.

Bend over, okay?

And I'll show you how this works.

How about that?

How's that feel?

Okay. Okay?

Do this.

Just like that.

Do that.

And then you bend that way.

Like that?

Yeah, like that. Just like that.

And then we'll relieve you of all your stress, right?

Yeah.

I feel scared now.

This is way better than any morning breakfast.

So much better.

Did you join that?

First thing in the morning.

Yeah.

What are you doing?

I'm going to eat this fucking breakfast and get my mask off. I'm going to head

out then.

You're going to get cleaned up. We can hang out a little bit more I guess.

I'm going to pick up my mask off.

I knew you would be in here.

You're going to be staying in here forever now.

What are you dressed up for?

I'm going to go see my boyfriend.

No. You're not allowed to see him anymore. No more stack -a -buttons. Come

Stack -a -buttons is his nickname.

His dick looks like a stack -a -button.

No more.

Stack -a -buttons. From a jacket from 1922.

Come on, man. Probably. You're stacking buttons up in your butthole. What are

you doing?

You need to get a grip.

Taking you to church on Sunday. It's going to be fun.

So how are you going to convince me to... Maybe you can give me a blowjob in

confession, but... Anyways, you're not going to your boyfriend's because I just

shelled out a bunch of money and got you a car.

That dude's worthless and the dick looks like a stack of buttons.

I mean, I guess your dick is better than... Looks like a ballpoint pen

out of an office.

Can't disagree.

Well, Jesus loves you.

That's all that matters.

Anyways, you're not going, okay?

We already talked about this. You need to get him out of your head.

I'll bite you.

Fine. Then you're going to have to dick me down better than him.

I like how you submitted to it. You're like, fuck it. It's not even funny to

you. You're like, yeah, you did.

Alright,

cool. Well, I have to take you down better?

We can do that.

How about I just... I was going to work on my computer, but I can just pull my

dick out and get it rock hard for you right away. You can finish that work

later. How about that?

What do you think?

I think yes.

You think yes? I think yes.

Yeah, your cock is so much better than his.

Really? You're sure?

Mm -hmm.

I don't think he's still here. He still dares me.

He's up to no good.

Oh!

and harder.

Yes.

Can you go from here?

doggie

I'm going to get some work.

You want that one.

You're gonna mark your territory?

As long as you don't get it in my eyes.

You can mark this way all you want.

I want your big load.

I've always wondered what your gum was like.

Hmm.

I think that I probably got a better facial than her

Alright, well let's get cleaned up and get out of here. What do you say? I'm

tired. Sounds good.