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1
00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:10,178
What the hell was that?
2
00:00:13,881 --> 00:00:15,967
Hello?
3
00:00:16,050 --> 00:00:17,969
Jay?
4
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,774
Surprise.
5
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,093
Carol?
6
00:00:25,193 --> 00:00:27,295
What are you doing here?
You got sucked off.
7
00:00:27,395 --> 00:00:28,496
You're right,
8
00:00:28,596 --> 00:00:30,401
and I've been having
a blast up there.
9
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:31,999
I can't say too much,
10
00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:34,135
but they have pickleball.
11
00:00:34,235 --> 00:00:35,803
That's it. That's all I'll say.
12
00:00:35,903 --> 00:00:36,954
Carol, what is happening?
13
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,706
I'm your little Christmas Carol.
14
00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:40,308
You see, around Christmas,
15
00:00:40,408 --> 00:00:42,510
we Carols
are given special powers,
16
00:00:42,610 --> 00:00:44,795
including
the ability to grant wishes.
17
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,780
Oh, also,
18
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:50,118
we can give out candy canes.
19
00:00:51,018 --> 00:00:53,471
I-I think there's been
some sort of misunderstanding.
20
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,123
I didn't make a wish.
21
00:00:55,223 --> 00:00:56,590
Oh, yes, you did.
22
00:00:56,724 --> 00:00:58,058
You said, and I quote,
23
00:00:58,159 --> 00:01:01,762
"I wish I had never
been able to see ghosts."
24
00:01:02,663 --> 00:01:03,597
Okay.
25
00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:05,766
So why are you here?
26
00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:08,436
I'm here to show you
what your life would be like
27
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:10,155
if you'd never
tripped on that vase,
28
00:01:10,238 --> 00:01:12,340
if you had never
fallen down the stairs,
29
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:16,327
if you had never gained
the ability to see ghosts.
30
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:17,578
Whoa.
31
00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:18,829
So let's get this started.
32
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:21,282
Sam, you're coming with me.
33
00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:25,170
Well, that was supposed
to whoosh us away,
34
00:01:25,253 --> 00:01:27,087
but it's my first time.
35
00:01:27,221 --> 00:01:30,424
Hey, I need to get some
steps in anyway. Let's go.
36
00:01:35,363 --> 00:01:37,515
You know, Carol, I'm
actually feeling a little silly
37
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:40,201
about this whole wishing
not to see ghosts thing.
38
00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:44,104
Holy crap, am I day-drinking
with Sasha and Libby?
39
00:01:44,205 --> 00:01:45,773
Sam, this eggnog is delicious.
40
00:01:45,872 --> 00:01:47,908
And these
gingerbread men you made?
41
00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:49,560
So cute. Not to brag,
42
00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:51,612
but I think this one
is flirting with me.
43
00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:53,198
Look at you,
44
00:01:53,281 --> 00:01:55,916
just enjoying a little
Christmas Eve tipple with two
45
00:01:56,015 --> 00:01:57,351
of your closest gal pals.
46
00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,370
B-But I don't get it,
Sasha thinks I'm crazy.
47
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,372
No, Sasha thought you were crazy
48
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,457
because she caught you
performing a séance
49
00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:06,211
for the ghosts, and she thought
you and Jay were murderers.
50
00:02:06,294 --> 00:02:07,545
But that was
because of the ghosts.
51
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:10,464
In this world,
none of that happened.
52
00:02:10,598 --> 00:02:12,466
So she thinks I'm sane?
53
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:15,253
Yep. And not just sane.
54
00:02:15,336 --> 00:02:16,470
Funny.
55
00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:18,472
Short, bald
and covered in crumbs?
56
00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:20,191
I'm sorry,
is this a gingerbread man
57
00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:21,909
or the guy I dated before Jay?
58
00:02:23,777 --> 00:02:25,179
Sam, you are hilarious.
59
00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:27,654
Without the ghosts
interrupting you all the time,
60
00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:30,000
you're actually
a much better conversationalist.
61
00:02:30,083 --> 00:02:31,269
Man,
62
00:02:31,352 --> 00:02:33,104
I'd love
to see these ladies in bikinis.
63
00:02:33,187 --> 00:02:34,772
How does this place
not have a hot tub?
64
00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:37,491
-Disgusting.
-Right?
65
00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:39,793
But you can't hear him,
so you don't care.
66
00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:41,579
I hate to say it,
but we've got to run.
67
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:42,863
Next time at my place?
68
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,749
Uh, do you have wine?
69
00:02:44,832 --> 00:02:45,999
Of course.
70
00:02:46,099 --> 00:02:47,017
Then, yeah,
I think I'll be there.
71
00:02:51,204 --> 00:02:53,641
So, what am I doing now?
72
00:02:53,741 --> 00:02:55,276
Oh, just sitting there.
73
00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:57,362
Since you're not always
taking care of the ghosts,
74
00:02:57,445 --> 00:02:59,597
you actually
have time to yourself.
75
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,915
Whoa. I can't remember
the last time
76
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,517
I just sat and read a book.
77
00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:04,902
And look at me,
I don't even mind
78
00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:06,954
that Trevor's
reading over my shoulder.
79
00:03:07,054 --> 00:03:09,039
I'm pretty sure he's trying
to look down your dress,
80
00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:11,525
but, hey, you don't know,
so who cares?
81
00:03:11,659 --> 00:03:14,695
Stupid camisole.
I'm getting nothing.
82
00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:17,315
So, if I have
all this free time,
83
00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:20,017
I guess that means the B and B
still isn't doing very well.
84
00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:21,369
Are you kidding?
85
00:03:21,469 --> 00:03:22,987
Without
the ghosts to worry about,
86
00:03:23,070 --> 00:03:24,922
you've really been able
to throw yourself
87
00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:27,158
into making
this place a success.
88
00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:29,627
The B and B is thriving.
89
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,745
Oh, come.
90
00:03:33,581 --> 00:03:35,583
Woodstone B and B,
how may I help you?
91
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:38,252
Freddie. He used to work here.
92
00:03:38,386 --> 00:03:40,471
He was incredible. But he quit.
93
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:41,972
He quit because of the ghosts.
94
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:44,292
But now
he's all in on Woodstone.
95
00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:46,244
I'm so sorry,
we don't have any availability
96
00:03:46,327 --> 00:03:48,362
-until January 17th.
-Hold on,
97
00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:49,897
the B and B is sold out?
98
00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:52,615
Great. We'll see you then.
99
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,769
Who keeps searching
"Girls Gone Wild" on this thing?
100
00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:57,822
I should have gone
to Arizona State.
101
00:03:57,905 --> 00:03:59,673
I'm home.
102
00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:01,575
Hey, Freddie.
103
00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:03,944
-Jay, I missed you.
-I missed you, too.
104
00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:07,865
Uh-oh. Mistletoe.
105
00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:09,350
Oh.
106
00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:10,318
Mmm.
107
00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:12,420
She could do so much better.
108
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,605
I gotta admit, this life
looks pretty great.
109
00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:15,789
And Trevor seems
110
00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:17,224
pretty much the same.
111
00:04:17,325 --> 00:04:18,643
How are the other ghosts doing?
112
00:04:18,726 --> 00:04:20,327
Well, why don't we find out?
113
00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:22,930
Huh, still not working.
114
00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:24,640
Looks like
we're hoofing it again.
115
00:04:25,466 --> 00:04:27,134
And that concludes my lecture
116
00:04:27,234 --> 00:04:28,602
on different kinds of knots.
117
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:30,788
Tomorrow Thorfinn will be
giving a talk on trout.
118
00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:32,773
Will be similar
to herring lecture
119
00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:34,308
but more trout-focused.
120
00:04:34,408 --> 00:04:36,109
-I'm in hell.
-Okay,
121
00:04:36,209 --> 00:04:37,819
so this all seems
pretty standard.
122
00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:39,664
I guess the ghosts are just
doing the same kind of stuff
123
00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:41,114
they did before I met them.
124
00:04:41,214 --> 00:04:44,735
So, Alberta, you excited
for upcoming wedding?
125
00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:46,671
Aw, Alberta and Pete
are getting married?
126
00:04:46,754 --> 00:04:48,406
-That's sweet.
-Yeah. I mean, I get
127
00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:50,708
to sing, which will be a nice
little treat for everybody.
128
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,576
Although I'm maybe
a little surprised
129
00:04:52,659 --> 00:04:54,211
they're finally
going through with it.
130
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,212
Oh.
131
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:57,130
So it's not Pete and Alberta?
132
00:04:57,230 --> 00:04:59,049
You know what,
if they're happy, I'm happy.
133
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,968
Well, one of them
is definitely happy.
134
00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:03,087
Carol, who are
they talking about?
135
00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:05,506
Hello, all.
136
00:05:05,606 --> 00:05:07,157
Ah, we look forward
to seeing you
137
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,276
at our nuptials this afternoon.
138
00:05:09,377 --> 00:05:11,311
Hmm? Huzzah.
139
00:05:11,445 --> 00:05:12,430
Isaac and Hetty?
140
00:05:12,513 --> 00:05:13,764
But that is impossible.
141
00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:15,849
And yet, in this world,
it's happening.
142
00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:17,668
-Hmm, your wish.
-We just wanted
143
00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:20,854
to remind you that the ceremony
is to begin promptly at 2:00.
144
00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:22,189
Weather permitting,
145
00:05:22,289 --> 00:05:23,123
of course.
146
00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:24,792
The wedding is indoors, my love.
147
00:05:24,892 --> 00:05:26,694
Right, right, right.
148
00:05:26,794 --> 00:05:27,861
Could be a tornado.
149
00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:29,196
No, no.
150
00:05:29,296 --> 00:05:31,081
The only tornado
shall be tonight
151
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:33,117
in our marriage bed.
152
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:34,619
Oh.
153
00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:37,371
Mmm...
154
00:05:42,643 --> 00:05:44,395
Wait. Wait, wait, wait, Carol.
What is going on?
155
00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:46,179
Isaac can't marry Hetty. He's...
156
00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:47,815
gay.
157
00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:49,400
Why did you whisper that?
158
00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:51,836
I don't know, it seemed
like a weird thing to shout.
159
00:05:51,919 --> 00:05:52,786
Here's the thing.
160
00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:54,187
Isaac only came out
161
00:05:54,321 --> 00:05:55,906
because you were there
to support him.
162
00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:59,610
Without you, he still hasn't
figured out who he truly is.
163
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:01,028
Huh.
164
00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:03,381
I guess I did have kind
of a big effect on him.
165
00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:05,182
You've had a big effect
on all of them.
166
00:06:05,265 --> 00:06:08,301
Without you, Alberta
never found out who killed her,
167
00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:10,120
Thor's still having
his night terrors,
168
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,523
and Pete never learned
he could leave the property.
169
00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:14,174
He never even tried?
170
00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:16,677
He was told he couldn't,
and the man loves rules.
171
00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:18,178
He won a goldfish
172
00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:20,881
at the state fair once
and reported it on our taxes.
173
00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:23,451
Let me guess, he also tried
174
00:06:23,551 --> 00:06:26,687
to report a free sample
from the grocery store?
175
00:06:26,787 --> 00:06:28,789
It's actually
the other Sam that's funny.
176
00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:30,499
Come on,
I have a lot to show you.
177
00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:32,392
Christmas is always
178
00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:34,528
one of the toughest times
to be dead,
179
00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:36,313
wondering about my family.
180
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,966
Are they doing okay?
Do they even think about me?
181
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,901
They do. Your daughter
182
00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:42,970
Laura named her son after you.
183
00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:44,489
Pete doesn't know that.
184
00:06:44,572 --> 00:06:46,090
In this world,
you never invited me here
185
00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:47,958
to dedicate that weird bench.
186
00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:49,727
Pete never
watched Laura get married.
187
00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:52,129
He doesn't even know
Little Pete.
188
00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:54,164
Thor also miss his family.
189
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,967
Leave behind young son.
190
00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:59,653
Will never get to know
what he like as man.
191
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:02,890
No, Thor, your son
is like a hundred yards away.
192
00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:04,091
Tragic.
193
00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:06,594
I hope he grow up
to be great warrior
194
00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:08,395
who kill many Danes
195
00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:10,798
and never eat best friend.
196
00:07:10,898 --> 00:07:12,149
-What?
-Nothing.
197
00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:14,652
Random example
not taken from Thor's life.
198
00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:16,086
The nice
thing about the holidays
199
00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:18,238
is that the girls
on the dating apps
200
00:07:18,338 --> 00:07:20,240
are lonely as hell.
201
00:07:20,373 --> 00:07:23,276
I'm talking to like
six separate Livings right now.
202
00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:25,178
One may fly in
from Miami to meet up.
203
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:27,264
And what do you hope happens
when she gets here?
204
00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:29,534
I don't know, maybe she'll choke
on something and die.
205
00:07:29,617 --> 00:07:31,752
-It happens.
-Yeah, I get it.
206
00:07:31,852 --> 00:07:33,871
Sex with women,
you know, nothing like it.
207
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:36,173
Which I know
'cause of the... 43 times.
208
00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:37,708
Oh, that's right.
209
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:40,076
Sass is still hiding
the fact that he's a virgin.
210
00:07:40,159 --> 00:07:41,712
This is painful.
211
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:44,048
Has anyone found love?
What about Thor and Flower?
212
00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:46,050
Not even close.
213
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:48,468
Flower fell
into the well two years ago.
214
00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:49,970
Flower's in the well?
215
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:51,989
Well, she was,
till you filled it with cement.
216
00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:54,141
So now she's lost in the dirt,
217
00:07:54,274 --> 00:07:57,409
a fact she keeps forgetting
and then quickly rediscovers
218
00:07:57,511 --> 00:07:59,412
in an endless cycle of horror.
219
00:07:59,513 --> 00:08:00,714
Okay, so is that it,
220
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:03,050
or do you have
more bad news to show me?
221
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:04,451
More bad news.
222
00:08:04,552 --> 00:08:06,954
The basement ghosts
are really upset
223
00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:09,957
about your shiny
new water heater.
224
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:13,243
Wait. Everyone shut up.
225
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:14,995
I think I heard a gurgle.
226
00:08:16,463 --> 00:08:18,298
Oh, there it is again.
227
00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:19,967
Sorry, that was my tummy.
228
00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:21,501
Oh, damn it, Stuart.
229
00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:25,038
You got our hopes up
for nothing, you toad's ass.
230
00:08:25,138 --> 00:08:26,724
This newfangled water heater
hasn't made a peep
231
00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:28,909
since that blonde witch
put it in.
232
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:30,811
God, I hate her.
233
00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:32,229
She's very rude.
234
00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:34,298
Last week
I saw her drop a piece of pizza
235
00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:36,683
on the ground
and pick it up and eat it,
236
00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:39,385
and it fell cheese-side down.
237
00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:42,690
I think we can move on.
238
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:45,458
What's going on here?
239
00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:47,044
Hetty, I need to talk
to you about the wedding.
240
00:08:47,127 --> 00:08:49,529
Are you still waffling
on a best man?
241
00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:51,699
I do agree it's slim pickings,
242
00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:55,535
but Sasappis probably presents
the most handsome stage picture.
243
00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:58,872
No, it's... it's more than that.
244
00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:00,708
Oh, my gosh,
is he gonna tell her?
245
00:09:00,841 --> 00:09:02,375
Could you just watch?
246
00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:04,962
You'd be a very annoying person
to go see a movie with.
247
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,046
Maybe we push it?
248
00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:08,181
-What?
-Why rush a wedding
249
00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:10,017
in the dead of winter
when spring
250
00:09:10,117 --> 00:09:11,385
is just around the corner?
251
00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:13,571
We-we were supposed
to get married in spring.
252
00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:15,222
Last spring. And you wanted
253
00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:17,908
to push till summer, citing
the April racket of the birds.
254
00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:19,593
But then summer was too hot,
255
00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:21,779
and then fall came around
and you started whining about
256
00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:24,064
how it's the season
when you're most sleepy.
257
00:09:24,197 --> 00:09:25,349
I've always been
very sleepy in the fall.
258
00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:26,566
Everyone knows that.
259
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:27,652
Isaac, what's wrong?
260
00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:29,369
If there is something else
261
00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:32,372
going on, just tell me.
262
00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:35,676
Well... actually...
263
00:09:35,776 --> 00:09:38,445
Come on, Isaac, tell her.
264
00:09:38,545 --> 00:09:41,448
She's your dearest friend.
You can trust her.
265
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:45,552
Wedding prank.
266
00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:46,887
I'm sorry, what?
267
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:49,657
You've been wedding-pranked.
268
00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:51,424
Huzzah!
269
00:09:51,558 --> 00:09:52,893
Oof.
270
00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:54,311
Score one for Higgintoot.
271
00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:55,379
You should have seen
the look on your face.
272
00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:56,764
You were freaking out.
273
00:09:56,864 --> 00:09:58,849
Indeed.
274
00:09:58,932 --> 00:09:59,933
Ah, it's fun.
275
00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:01,351
Sam, I don't want to have
276
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:02,736
this talk again.
277
00:10:02,836 --> 00:10:04,488
Oh, sounds like the show's
about to start. Come on.
278
00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:05,890
It's Christmas Eve.
You can't go back
279
00:10:05,973 --> 00:10:07,558
into the city already.
You just got home.
280
00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:09,093
I don't know what
you want me to tell you.
281
00:10:09,176 --> 00:10:10,477
I have to work.
282
00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:12,245
Oh, these two, back at it.
283
00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:14,031
Classic Sam and Jay fight.
284
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,416
Is like tiffs
between Whoopi and Meghan,
285
00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:18,418
but they can't
cut to commercial.
286
00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:20,587
We get to see everything.
287
00:10:20,688 --> 00:10:22,172
Wait, why is Jay
working in the city?
288
00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:24,457
Jay never wanted
to move out here, remember?
289
00:10:24,557 --> 00:10:26,677
He only stayed
because of your accident.
290
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:28,128
But in this world,
291
00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:30,472
you were just pulling him
away from his cooking
292
00:10:30,597 --> 00:10:32,432
and his friends and his career.
293
00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:35,002
Didn't he open his own
restaurant at the B and B?
294
00:10:35,102 --> 00:10:38,271
Without the ghosts, the idea
for Mahesh never came up.
295
00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:39,690
So Jay's resentment built
296
00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:42,642
until he finally took a job
back in the city.
297
00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:45,112
Ooh, Sam's mad.
There goes the vein.
298
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:46,664
Can't you just
call in sick or something?
299
00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:47,898
I don't want to call in sick.
300
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,366
I love my job.
301
00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:51,218
Yeah, but you're never here.
302
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:52,986
I never wanted to be here.
303
00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,488
You dragged me here.
304
00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:58,959
Not nice to drag people places.
305
00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:01,795
Skin on back of head wear away
quicker than you think.
306
00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:03,831
This one time...
307
00:11:03,931 --> 00:11:05,182
I don't want to hear it, Thor.
308
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:08,252
We seemed
so happy together this morning.
309
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,804
A performance
for your assistant Freddie.
310
00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:12,422
He's seen
so many of your fights,
311
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:15,475
so now you guys
overcompensate in front of him.
312
00:11:15,575 --> 00:11:18,478
Okay, let's give
this one more shot.
313
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:22,349
Isaac Higgintoot
and Henrietta Woodstone...
314
00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:24,401
Holy crap, it worked.
315
00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:27,654
Oh, it's the wedding. Fun.
316
00:11:27,755 --> 00:11:29,089
My sincere hope
317
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,908
is that
the two of you enjoy a marriage
318
00:11:30,991 --> 00:11:34,161
as loving and as loyal
as what I had with Carol.
319
00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:35,796
Whoopsie.
320
00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:37,614
Now, if anyone here
sees any reason why these two
321
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:41,168
should not wed, now would be
a great time to pipe up.
322
00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:43,570
Nothing?
323
00:11:43,670 --> 00:11:44,838
Really?
324
00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:47,674
Captain Higgintoot.
325
00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:50,210
Lieutenant Colonel Chessum,
you've come.
326
00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:53,446
Yes, I know
we've had our differences,
327
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:57,050
but I couldn't let you
get married without saying...
328
00:11:58,351 --> 00:12:00,104
Come on, Nigel, you got this.
329
00:12:00,187 --> 00:12:01,688
...congratulations.
330
00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:04,591
Okay.
331
00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:07,111
Well, I guess there's
nothing left to do...
332
00:12:07,194 --> 00:12:09,362
...except continue.
333
00:12:09,496 --> 00:12:12,532
Uh, unless? Going once...
334
00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:13,967
Anyone?
335
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:15,202
Look at me.
336
00:12:15,302 --> 00:12:16,921
I'm 15 feet away
from this train wreck,
337
00:12:17,004 --> 00:12:18,388
and there's nothing I can do.
338
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,291
Why do I look so happy?
339
00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:22,760
Jay and I just had a huge fight.
340
00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,895
Well, you're not gonna
want to hear this one,
341
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:26,713
but with you
and Jay growing apart,
342
00:12:26,814 --> 00:12:28,581
you've started
an emotional affair
343
00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:30,467
with someone you met online.
344
00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:32,585
What? Who?
345
00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:35,856
No.
346
00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:38,025
No, no, no.
347
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:43,797
No!
348
00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:46,266
Okay, I'll call you
when I get to the city.
349
00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:47,567
No, Jay, don't go.
350
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:50,804
Okay. Hetty,
do you take this man
351
00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:52,857
to be
your lawfully wedded husband?
352
00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:54,158
I do.
353
00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:56,160
You've got to stop this.
None of this is right.
354
00:12:56,243 --> 00:12:58,245
I'm sorry, Sam, it's too late.
355
00:12:58,345 --> 00:12:59,830
-What do you mean?
-Isaac,
356
00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:01,999
do you take this woman
to be your lawfully wedded wife?
357
00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:04,701
Well, you made a wish,
and I was sent here to grant it.
358
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,319
I do.
359
00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:07,872
But this isn't what I want.
360
00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:09,974
Hetty and Isaac,
361
00:13:10,057 --> 00:13:11,308
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
362
00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:13,010
Isaac, you may kiss the bride.
363
00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:20,333
That's it. The tour's over.
364
00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:23,536
This is now your life.
Merry Christmas, Sam.
365
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:30,777
No!
366
00:13:30,878 --> 00:13:34,198
Oh, great, now someone objects.
367
00:13:34,281 --> 00:13:35,648
I mean...
368
00:13:35,748 --> 00:13:36,901
I love ya.
369
00:13:36,984 --> 00:13:38,451
Oh!
370
00:13:43,456 --> 00:13:45,558
Carol? Carol, come back!
371
00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:46,944
What's wrong with Sam?
372
00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:48,645
I want things to go back
to the way they were.
373
00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:50,197
I want Pete
374
00:13:50,297 --> 00:13:51,648
and Alberta to be dating again.
375
00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:52,599
Me and Pete?
376
00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:54,501
How does she know our names?
377
00:13:54,601 --> 00:13:56,620
Sass shouldn't be hiding
the fact that he's a virgin.
378
00:13:56,703 --> 00:13:58,138
Virgin?
379
00:13:58,238 --> 00:14:00,390
Okay, yeah, tell that to
all my satisfied customers.
380
00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:03,493
And I want to live in a world
where Isaac is proud to be gay.
381
00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:04,494
Gay?
382
00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:05,830
A red-blooded
383
00:14:05,913 --> 00:14:09,166
billy goat like me?
You jest.
384
00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:10,200
Most of all,
385
00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:12,803
I... I want Jay back.
386
00:14:12,886 --> 00:14:14,922
I don't care
if things aren't perfect
387
00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:17,724
or if our life
is complicated sometimes.
388
00:14:17,824 --> 00:14:19,893
I just want
to face it all with him.
389
00:14:20,894 --> 00:14:22,062
I wish
390
00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:24,431
things could go back
to how they were.
391
00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:27,852
I wish I could see ghosts again.
392
00:14:29,937 --> 00:14:31,638
That's my girl.
393
00:14:31,738 --> 00:14:33,406
Welcome back, Sam.
394
00:14:39,346 --> 00:14:41,281
I can see you.
395
00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:42,366
Hetty, can you hear me?
396
00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:44,668
Alberta, can you see me?
397
00:14:44,751 --> 00:14:45,885
What's with Sam?
398
00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:47,454
She sounds like Yentl.
399
00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:49,673
Oh, thank God.
I made a terrible wish
400
00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:52,425
that I couldn't see ghosts
and then Carol granted it.
401
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:53,626
My Carol?
402
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:55,462
Yes, but
she was Christmas Carol,
403
00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:57,364
and everything was messed up.
404
00:14:57,464 --> 00:15:00,600
You were there, Isaac,
but you were marrying Hetty.
405
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:01,969
And you were there, Thor,
406
00:15:02,069 --> 00:15:04,037
but you didn't know your son.
407
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:04,972
Was I there?
408
00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:06,639
I don't really remember.
409
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:09,842
The point is,
I regret what I said. I'm sorry.
410
00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:12,062
I'm so happy I can see you guys.
411
00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:13,646
I was just upset.
412
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,482
Hey, uh, I was just talking
413
00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:17,985
to that guy, babe, and I...
414
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:20,453
Whoa.
415
00:15:20,553 --> 00:15:21,538
What was that for?
416
00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:24,324
For everything. I love you, Jay.
417
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:30,297
Whoa, I think I fell asleep
for a few minutes,
418
00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:32,332
but then
the smooching woke me up.
419
00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:34,767
Hey, man, it's Flower.
420
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:36,536
What? What's happening?
421
00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:42,009
Jay, it's me.
Flower possessed me.
422
00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:44,061
Thor did it as a gift to her.
423
00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:46,563
Next year,
will only give sex coupon.
424
00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:47,814
It enough.
425
00:15:47,914 --> 00:15:49,199
What? O-Okay.
Well, we got to get
426
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,700
Flower out of you
before this interview.
427
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:53,153
What interview? I thought
I blew the interview.
428
00:15:53,253 --> 00:15:54,654
What are you talking about?
429
00:15:54,754 --> 00:15:56,006
The interview
hasn't happened yet.
430
00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:57,991
You were just getting
your makeup done.
431
00:15:58,125 --> 00:15:59,126
There she is.
432
00:15:59,226 --> 00:16:01,445
It's showtime.
433
00:16:02,729 --> 00:16:05,165
Hey, man. Aren't you
that guy from TV?
434
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:06,466
You know, I was
435
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:09,036
on TV once.
I flashed the second baseman
436
00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:11,255
at a San Francisco Giants game.
437
00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:12,772
Cool.
438
00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:15,392
Maybe we don't mention
stuff like that on the air, huh?
439
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:16,793
This way, please.
440
00:16:16,876 --> 00:16:19,012
Flower? Sam? Flower-Sam?
441
00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:20,880
Okay, you can
sit right over here.
442
00:16:21,014 --> 00:16:23,483
-Cool.
-Oh, guys, you know what?
443
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:25,685
Um, actually, I-I-I think
444
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,887
Sam needs to go outside
for just a minute.
445
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:29,273
Sorry, we're about to go live.
446
00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:31,641
We need to buy Sam some time
to regain control
447
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:32,895
and get to the boundary.
448
00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:34,994
I got this.
449
00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:40,784
Uh, Walter, just a minute.
450
00:16:40,867 --> 00:16:42,252
I'm-I'm picking up
a weird room tone.
451
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:44,071
Guys, can we fix this? Now?
452
00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:48,741
Tiny camera, feel Odin's wrath!
453
00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:50,677
Ugh, we lost picture.
454
00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:52,162
Unbelievable.
455
00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:53,930
All right, we need
a battery change on camera one.
456
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:55,715
This is incredible teamwork.
457
00:16:55,815 --> 00:16:57,267
And if it were
St. Patrick's Day,
458
00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:59,643
I'd be jumping in with
a contribution of my own.
459
00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:04,640
Whoa. What the...?
460
00:17:04,723 --> 00:17:06,925
Hey, hold the roll.
Let's get this cleaned up.
461
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,512
All right, we're taking
a tight two,
462
00:17:08,595 --> 00:17:09,829
then we're going live.
463
00:17:09,929 --> 00:17:11,680
Take control, Sam.
This is your moment.
464
00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:14,484
I'm back.
465
00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:16,603
Now go! Get to the boundary.
466
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:21,973
Run! Like there's
a sale at Old Navy!
467
00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:32,969
Man, Pringles were good.
468
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:36,156
Sorry about all that
possession stuff, Sam.
469
00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:37,174
All good.
470
00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:39,259
She's back.
471
00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:42,262
All right, I think we're
good to go. Cameras ready?
472
00:17:43,130 --> 00:17:44,631
You good, babe?
473
00:17:45,532 --> 00:17:47,800
We're live in three...
474
00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:51,688
That's right, Jill, I'm here
in New York's Hudson Valley
475
00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:55,192
with the author of Isaac
Higgintooth: Colonial Vampire.
476
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:56,976
Hey, Sam, thanks for being here.
477
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:59,312
Thank you so much for having me.
478
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:01,565
And so this is a book
where you can have a laugh,
479
00:18:01,648 --> 00:18:03,233
maybe a cry,
480
00:18:03,316 --> 00:18:06,292
and hopefully learn something
about the origins of our nation.
481
00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:07,871
Well, I certainly enjoyed
482
00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:10,290
when George Washington
turned into a bat.
483
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:11,624
Did that really happen?
484
00:18:11,724 --> 00:18:13,493
I'm kidding, of course.
485
00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:16,929
Well, anyhow, thanks, Sam.
Jill, back to you.
486
00:18:17,029 --> 00:18:19,065
Oh, you crushed it, Sam.
487
00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:21,718
And if I had money
and the ability to turn pages,
488
00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:23,353
I-I would buy your book
for sure.
489
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,405
-Aw.
-Babe, you were amazing.
490
00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:26,673
Thanks, Jay.
491
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:29,008
I couldn't have done it
without you.
492
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,243
Without any of you.
493
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:33,397
I just feel so lucky
to have all of you in my life.
494
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:34,681
Even Thor?
495
00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:36,433
Yes, Thor. Even you.
496
00:18:36,516 --> 00:18:37,984
And not to relitigate,
497
00:18:38,084 --> 00:18:41,188
but you did sort of say
to surprise you.
498
00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:43,390
We leave at that.
499
00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:45,525
I know the possession
wasn't ideal,
500
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,994
but it was a really groovy gift.
501
00:18:48,094 --> 00:18:49,113
I mean, I got to take drugs
502
00:18:49,196 --> 00:18:51,081
for the first time in 60 years.
503
00:18:51,164 --> 00:18:53,083
I'm sorry. What do
you mean, you took drugs?
504
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:55,168
The mistletoe.
The drug I got from Gabe.
505
00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:56,903
I took it... well, we took it...
506
00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:58,705
on my way back
from the restaurant.
507
00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:00,773
Well, look at that.
508
00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:02,675
You were high as a kite.
509
00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:04,385
I suppose
that explains this whole
510
00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:05,829
"visit from Carol" nonsense.
511
00:19:05,912 --> 00:19:08,047
I guess it does.
512
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,099
Okay, I can't help it.
513
00:19:09,182 --> 00:19:10,800
I got to watch it again.
514
00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:12,084
So proud of you, babe.
515
00:19:23,062 --> 00:19:24,681
Hey, Trevor,
help me out with this
516
00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:25,615
scratch and sniff
Sam got me for Christmas.
517
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,636
Come on, come on, come on.
518
00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:35,875
Wow.
519
00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:37,461
For a piece of paper
with cartoon eyes
520
00:19:37,544 --> 00:19:40,164
and a pepperoni bow tie,
that's pretty good.
521
00:19:40,247 --> 00:19:41,314
Greetings.
522
00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:42,649
Every time.
523
00:19:42,749 --> 00:19:44,301
Patience...
524
00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:45,252
what's up?
525
00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:47,654
I come with good news.
526
00:19:47,754 --> 00:19:50,623
Your disappointment
at our parting gave me pause.
527
00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:52,091
What? What are you saying?
528
00:19:52,225 --> 00:19:53,477
I am saying that
529
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:56,629
I now believe
that we shouldst be together.
530
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,667
Yeah, but...
531
00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:01,901
different worlds.
532
00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:03,987
-Oh.
-Sometimes that first thought
533
00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:05,372
is the best thought.
534
00:20:05,472 --> 00:20:07,740
Oh, but that can be remedied.
I have met
535
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:10,243
your friends,
and you can meet my people.
536
00:20:10,343 --> 00:20:11,578
Where is this going?
537
00:20:11,678 --> 00:20:14,164
Trevor Lefkowitz,
dweller of the overground,
538
00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:16,366
son of Abraham,
holder of my heart,
539
00:20:16,449 --> 00:20:17,584
allow me
540
00:20:17,684 --> 00:20:19,986
to introduce you to...
the Others.
541
00:20:23,923 --> 00:20:27,427
Oh, holy night.
542
00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:36,336
Captioning sponsored by CBS
543
00:20:36,436 --> 00:20:39,071
and TOYOTA.
544
00:20:39,171 --> 00:20:42,575
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
35693
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