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1
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OK, for this year's group trip,
we agreed to play a game
2
00:00:02,750 --> 00:00:04,500
where the winner
would choose the destination.
3
00:00:04,583 --> 00:00:06,792
Unfortunately, we did not think it through
4
00:00:06,875 --> 00:00:10,375
when we chose the game...
cul-de-sac crew trivia.
5
00:00:10,458 --> 00:00:12,375
I smoked you guys!
6
00:00:12,458 --> 00:00:13,959
But a deal's a deal.
7
00:00:14,041 --> 00:00:16,792
Tom, you pick the destination,
and we leave tomorrow.
8
00:00:16,875 --> 00:00:18,375
Where we going, Tom?
9
00:00:19,250 --> 00:00:20,542
- Here.
- What?
10
00:00:20,625 --> 00:00:22,458
Nothing beats hanging around here
with all of you!
11
00:00:22,542 --> 00:00:25,375
So I didn't book a trip.
We're going nowhere!
12
00:00:25,458 --> 00:00:27,250
Tom, you're the worst!
13
00:00:27,458 --> 00:00:28,834
The worst!
14
00:00:28,917 --> 00:00:29,917
It was meant as a sweet gesture.
15
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,458
- I thought you'd appreciate the--
- Wrong!
16
00:00:33,959 --> 00:00:36,750
I'm about as popular
as your fourth-grade bully...
17
00:00:37,542 --> 00:00:39,250
Mackenzie Dickinson-Jones.
18
00:00:46,875 --> 00:00:50,583
Hey, you think the old men wash their feet
before they stomp on the grapes?
19
00:00:50,667 --> 00:00:53,792
Sorry. I have a life-insurance
physical today,
20
00:00:53,875 --> 00:00:55,542
so if I can't drink, neither can you.
21
00:00:55,625 --> 00:00:57,417
I was wondering why you
were eating a salad.
22
00:00:57,500 --> 00:00:58,959
{\an8}I got two hours to get healthy.
23
00:00:59,250 --> 00:01:00,625
{\an8}It's like cramming for a test.
24
00:01:00,709 --> 00:01:02,083
{\an8}I don't think that's how it works.
25
00:01:02,166 --> 00:01:03,500
{\an8}Well, good thing no one asked you.
26
00:01:03,583 --> 00:01:07,000
{\an8}You know, that doctor is probably
gonna want a urine sample.
27
00:01:07,083 --> 00:01:09,125
{\an8}- Yeah, so?
- Do you remember last night
28
00:01:09,208 --> 00:01:11,667
{\an8}when you had a giant freak-out
over the idea
29
00:01:11,750 --> 00:01:14,291
{\an8}that we all might be figments
of Tom's imagination,
30
00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:17,375
{\an8}then suddenly...
you became totally relaxed?
31
00:01:17,458 --> 00:01:18,875
{\an8}Oh, yeah.
32
00:01:18,959 --> 00:01:21,458
{\an8}Yeah, I dosed your wine
with happy pills.
33
00:01:21,542 --> 00:01:22,959
{\an8}You spiked my wine?
34
00:01:23,041 --> 00:01:26,083
{\an8}I have a physical in two hours!
If I go in there with happy-pill pee,
35
00:01:26,166 --> 00:01:28,291
{\an8}my life-insurance rates
are gonna go way up!
36
00:01:28,375 --> 00:01:30,166
White-people problems, am I right?
37
00:01:30,250 --> 00:01:32,750
There's only one responsible thing to do.
38
00:01:34,792 --> 00:01:35,917
I need your sample.
39
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:41,667
{\an8}If I took the time to mortar-and-pestle
two dozen pills, I had some.
40
00:01:42,250 --> 00:01:43,750
But I will take back my Tupperware.
41
00:01:43,834 --> 00:01:45,583
Well, my pee is super clean, honey.
42
00:01:45,667 --> 00:01:48,333
Works for me! fill 'er up!
43
00:01:48,875 --> 00:01:51,792
If I don't have to pee,
then I get to drink wine!
44
00:01:56,792 --> 00:01:59,333
They say a glass of wine a day is healthy.
45
00:02:03,375 --> 00:02:05,917
Bull's-eye! I win, liver-lips.
46
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,083
{\an8}That dartboard was a great idea, G-man.
47
00:02:08,166 --> 00:02:09,625
{\an8}There's nothing like sucking down brews
48
00:02:09,709 --> 00:02:11,291
{\an8}And tossing around tiny,
}little metal spears.
49
00:02:11,375 --> 00:02:12,375
{\an8}Definitely.
50
00:02:12,458 --> 00:02:15,250
{\an8}It's the off-season for my hockey league,
and I really miss being competitive.
51
00:02:15,333 --> 00:02:16,375
{\an8}I got an idea.
52
00:02:16,458 --> 00:02:18,125
{\an8}I've been hanging out at this new gym,
53
00:02:18,208 --> 00:02:21,041
{\an8}you know, to shower
and to borrow those giant rolls of T. P.
54
00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:23,458
{\an8}But they got
this two-on-two basketball league,
55
00:02:23,542 --> 00:02:24,542
{\an8}and I could sign us up.
56
00:02:24,625 --> 00:02:26,709
Oh! Sign me up. I am in!
57
00:02:27,250 --> 00:02:30,208
Oh! get that out of there, sucker!
This is my house!
58
00:02:30,291 --> 00:02:33,166
- Get that weak crap out of here!
- Yes, sir.
59
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,875
{\an8}Well, it sure would be great
if I wasn't surrounded by jerks!
60
00:02:36,959 --> 00:02:38,250
{\an8}Whoa, Ando, what's wrong?
61
00:02:38,333 --> 00:02:41,041
{\an8}Sorry, I've just been doing
really terrible at work.
62
00:02:41,834 --> 00:02:43,208
{\an8}I'm scared I'm gonna get laid off.
63
00:02:43,291 --> 00:02:46,917
{\an8}My boss posted a ranking of everyone's
performance numbers for the month.
64
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,667
{\an8}- Did you come in last?
- They forgot to put me on the list.
65
00:02:49,750 --> 00:02:52,542
{\an8}I need to bring in a new,
big-money investor soon,
66
00:02:52,959 --> 00:02:53,875
{\an8}or I'm in trouble.
67
00:02:53,959 --> 00:02:57,250
{\an8}- White people's problems, am I right?
- Yes, sir!
68
00:02:59,166 --> 00:03:01,709
{\an8}Have you been exercising?
69
00:03:01,792 --> 00:03:04,583
{\an8}I'm wearing my workout clothes, so... duh.
70
00:03:05,208 --> 00:03:06,959
{\an8}And how many drinks
do you have per week?
71
00:03:07,041 --> 00:03:08,250
{\an8}I'm sorry, what?
72
00:03:08,333 --> 00:03:10,250
{\an8}Alcoholic drinks.
How many per week?
73
00:03:12,417 --> 00:03:16,583
{\an8}Uh, you know, I have the occasional glass
of wine with my friends.
74
00:03:17,041 --> 00:03:18,917
{\an8}All that's left is to get a urine sample.
75
00:03:19,625 --> 00:03:22,959
{\an8}OK, well, I'm ready to make one,
you know, from my body.
76
00:03:23,166 --> 00:03:25,917
You just tell me where I can go
to pee my own pee.
77
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:31,667
Bobby Cobb. We're here for basketball.
78
00:03:31,750 --> 00:03:33,000
You mean break dancing.
79
00:03:33,083 --> 00:03:35,542
Uh, no, I signed up for basketball.
80
00:03:35,625 --> 00:03:37,625
No, you signed up for break dancing.
81
00:03:37,709 --> 00:03:39,333
Ma'am, clearly, I didn't.
I sig--
82
00:03:39,834 --> 00:03:40,709
Shoot.
83
00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:43,000
{\an8}Maybe I shouldn't fill out forms
84
00:03:43,083 --> 00:03:45,000
{\an8}while I'm washing
three puppies in the sink.
85
00:03:45,083 --> 00:03:46,250
Uh, can we get a refund, then?
86
00:03:46,333 --> 00:03:48,959
- No refunds.
- This stinks.
87
00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:51,792
{\an8}Geez. I'm sorry, G-man.
88
00:03:51,875 --> 00:03:53,959
{\an8}I know you were looking forward
to some competition.
89
00:03:54,291 --> 00:03:55,375
{\an8}Take it easy, old man.
90
00:03:57,041 --> 00:03:58,375
{\an8}Hey, man, what's up?
91
00:03:58,458 --> 00:04:01,583
{\an8}Uh
We're only 44, F.Y.I.
92
00:04:01,667 --> 00:04:03,333
"Old man." That's a laugh.
93
00:04:03,625 --> 00:04:05,125
Yo, I think you forgot your walker.
94
00:04:05,208 --> 00:04:06,417
Oh!
95
00:04:07,083 --> 00:04:09,792
{\an8}Uh
I will have you know
96
00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:14,500
{\an8}I did a little breakin' back in my day,
so you just might want to watch your step
97
00:04:14,583 --> 00:04:17,291
{\an8}before I bust a sweet move in your face.
98
00:04:18,375 --> 00:04:19,792
{\an8}Oh!
99
00:04:19,875 --> 00:04:21,834
{\an8}- "In your face."
- OK. that's it.
100
00:04:22,417 --> 00:04:23,792
{\an8}It's a break-off.
101
00:04:23,875 --> 00:04:26,834
{\an8}Me and my boy versus you and your crew.
102
00:04:26,917 --> 00:04:28,917
It is on.
103
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,166
- Oh.
- But not now.
104
00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:32,959
It's not on yet,
because we have to stretch first
105
00:04:33,041 --> 00:04:34,917
and then work out our routine,
106
00:04:35,083 --> 00:04:38,291
and then when we come back
after that, it's on.
107
00:04:39,333 --> 00:04:41,667
Yeah!
108
00:04:41,750 --> 00:04:44,583
- Oh, what have I gotten us into?
- I do not know!
109
00:04:46,291 --> 00:04:48,417
Either of you got a few
hundred grand sitting around?
110
00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:51,250
Absolutely. That's why I'm wearing
this apron.
111
00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,291
I need new clients, bad.
112
00:04:53,583 --> 00:04:54,875
Preferably millionaires.
113
00:04:54,959 --> 00:04:59,125
When I was a broke-ass foster kid,
my favorite thing was playing millionaire!
114
00:04:59,208 --> 00:05:02,917
I was Buffy McRichdollar,
world-famous model,
115
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:04,959
actress, make-out champion,
116
00:05:05,083 --> 00:05:07,125
part-time co-host
of "entertainment tonight,"
117
00:05:07,208 --> 00:05:09,291
and on-again, off-again
girlfriend of Ricardo Montalban.
118
00:05:09,375 --> 00:05:12,000
Wait. That's it!
You and Trav can come in,
119
00:05:12,083 --> 00:05:14,000
pretend to be a rich couple
who wants to invest with me!
120
00:05:14,083 --> 00:05:16,375
Come on.
Who's gonna believe us as rich?
121
00:05:16,458 --> 00:05:18,917
Because of the internet,
most of today's millionaires
122
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,875
are snot-nosed punks, just like you!
123
00:05:21,375 --> 00:05:22,583
What do you say, babe?
124
00:05:23,166 --> 00:05:26,834
Will you marry me
and my millions of dollars?
125
00:05:26,917 --> 00:05:28,583
Oh, Travis, yes!
126
00:05:28,667 --> 00:05:30,125
Yes, a thousand times yes!
127
00:05:30,625 --> 00:05:31,667
My career's hit bottom.
128
00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:36,375
I'm so glad my physical's done.
129
00:05:36,667 --> 00:05:37,959
Being healthy was rough.
130
00:05:38,041 --> 00:05:41,291
You mean putting on gym clothes
and eating half a salad?
131
00:05:41,375 --> 00:05:42,959
Yeah! it was terrible!
132
00:05:43,041 --> 00:05:44,041
Mm.
133
00:05:45,208 --> 00:05:47,291
Mm, there's my doc now.
134
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:52,041
What's up, doc?
135
00:05:52,125 --> 00:05:55,083
I got the test results from your physical,
and everything looks good.
136
00:05:55,166 --> 00:05:58,542
No surprise there!
I'm a total health nut.
137
00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:00,625
Uh, there is one thing,
however,
138
00:06:00,709 --> 00:06:02,625
and, uh, I was a little
surprised to see it,
139
00:06:02,709 --> 00:06:05,792
so I re-tested and, uh,
got the same result.
140
00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:07,875
Uh, thank you.
141
00:06:09,250 --> 00:06:10,709
What is it?
Is everything OK?
142
00:06:12,083 --> 00:06:13,125
I'm pregnant.
143
00:06:14,083 --> 00:06:17,500
You're not pregnant.
He wasn't testing your sample, remember?
144
00:06:18,041 --> 00:06:20,917
Oh, my God! Wow.
145
00:06:21,375 --> 00:06:23,000
That is such a relief!
146
00:06:23,291 --> 00:06:25,041
- Whew!
- But...
147
00:06:25,875 --> 00:06:27,041
Laurie's pregnant!
148
00:06:29,417 --> 00:06:30,834
OK. Let's break this down.
149
00:06:31,417 --> 00:06:33,625
Laurie's pregnant.
Trav knocked her up.
150
00:06:34,041 --> 00:06:37,875
- She's pregnant with Trav's child.
- Well, assuming it's his.
151
00:06:38,875 --> 00:06:40,458
Which, obviously, it is.
152
00:06:40,542 --> 00:06:42,375
I mean, Laurie is a very classy girl.
153
00:06:42,792 --> 00:06:44,709
Hold on to your honks, ladies.
154
00:06:45,166 --> 00:06:46,083
We got big news.
155
00:06:46,667 --> 00:06:48,750
Bobby and I just...
get this...
156
00:06:48,875 --> 00:06:52,333
challenged a bunch of kids
to a break-dance contest!
157
00:06:52,417 --> 00:06:53,417
But G-man here's teaching me.
158
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,375
He was a member of a real,
live breaking crew.
159
00:06:55,458 --> 00:06:58,000
He taught me how to robot.
160
00:06:58,083 --> 00:06:59,917
Laurie and Travis are pregnant.
161
00:07:01,834 --> 00:07:04,625
You two look like
a couple of asses right now.
162
00:07:04,709 --> 00:07:06,291
Whoa, Jules, you sure?
163
00:07:06,375 --> 00:07:09,250
Yes. I had a container of Laurie's pee.
164
00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:12,125
That's not the point.
Yes, I'm sure.
165
00:07:12,375 --> 00:07:15,375
And Trav and Laurie have no idea,
and I have no idea how to tell them.
166
00:07:15,792 --> 00:07:17,792
We have to keep this quiet
until I can tell them,
167
00:07:17,875 --> 00:07:20,083
so only the four of us can know.
168
00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:21,875
Tom?
169
00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:23,750
I can keep a secret.
170
00:07:25,333 --> 00:07:27,917
Thanks again for doing this.
I really need to convince my boss
171
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,583
that I can bring in some big-time clients.
172
00:07:29,667 --> 00:07:31,458
Let's talk about your characters.
173
00:07:32,083 --> 00:07:34,959
In order for this to work,
you must believe you are these people.
174
00:07:35,375 --> 00:07:37,542
Laurie, what's your name?
I-I don't-- I just got this.
175
00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:40,125
- That's no excuse! What's your name?
- Brittany Huffington.
176
00:07:40,208 --> 00:07:41,458
- From?
- Toronto.
177
00:07:41,542 --> 00:07:42,625
- Former?
- Beauty queen.
178
00:07:42,709 --> 00:07:43,750
- And?
- Weather girl.
179
00:07:43,834 --> 00:07:45,542
- Now?
- Enjoys breeding yorkies
180
00:07:45,625 --> 00:07:46,834
and being a trophy wife.
181
00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:50,792
- Travis.
- I am Tavis Crob.
182
00:07:50,875 --> 00:07:52,417
- From?
- Florida.
183
00:07:53,333 --> 00:07:55,041
Spent all your time on hers, huh?
184
00:07:56,250 --> 00:08:00,083
Made millions from an iPhone app
called Pancake Party?
185
00:08:00,166 --> 00:08:01,166
What is that?
186
00:08:01,250 --> 00:08:03,458
I don't know, but the kids
can't stop buying it.
187
00:08:03,625 --> 00:08:07,333
Well, that's good, 'cause it looks
like my wife could use a new pony!
188
00:08:07,417 --> 00:08:10,625
Oh, Tavis...
you're so good to me.
189
00:08:13,875 --> 00:08:15,709
Could you give me a moment alone
with my wife? Thanks.
190
00:08:15,792 --> 00:08:16,792
Yeah.
191
00:08:19,041 --> 00:08:22,250
Is this good news, or is it bad news?
192
00:08:22,417 --> 00:08:24,875
- How are they gonna take this?
- I have no idea!
193
00:08:24,959 --> 00:08:27,208
I know Travis and Laurie care
for each other, but I don't know
194
00:08:27,291 --> 00:08:29,667
how much they've seriously
considered a future together.
195
00:08:29,750 --> 00:08:31,208
How do I break the news?
196
00:08:31,291 --> 00:08:32,458
Break what news to who?
197
00:08:33,709 --> 00:08:36,667
Mrs. Goldstein...
that her husband is gay.
198
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:40,417
Well, on a happier relationship note,
Laurie and I have taken a big step.
199
00:08:40,917 --> 00:08:42,375
We decided to get pretend-married!
200
00:08:42,792 --> 00:08:45,500
But pretend marriage
is hard work, y'all!
201
00:08:45,583 --> 00:08:47,500
That's why we need to pound
some serious grape.
202
00:08:47,750 --> 00:08:49,166
Jules, what the f-train?
203
00:08:49,250 --> 00:08:51,667
- We're out of wine.
- That bottle's pretty much full.
204
00:08:51,750 --> 00:08:54,333
No, I spit in this one, you know, 'cause
I do that sometimes.
205
00:08:54,458 --> 00:08:55,709
OK, really gross.
206
00:08:55,792 --> 00:08:57,041
Mom, we got to go raid your closet
207
00:08:57,125 --> 00:08:58,583
because we need to find
a classy purse.
208
00:08:58,667 --> 00:09:01,083
Yeah, all my purses
are either dayglo
209
00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:03,834
or held up in
a police-evidence locker, so...
210
00:09:03,917 --> 00:09:05,750
Shall we, my husband?
211
00:09:05,834 --> 00:09:07,750
- After you, my lovely wife.
- Thank you.
212
00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:11,083
Well, that's a great sign, right?
213
00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:13,667
I mean, Laurie and Travis
are pretend-married!
214
00:09:14,083 --> 00:09:17,709
Unfortunately, a real child
born into a pretend marriage
215
00:09:17,792 --> 00:09:19,750
is still technically a bastard...
216
00:09:19,834 --> 00:09:21,125
Oh.
217
00:09:21,208 --> 00:09:22,875
...in case anyone was wondering.
218
00:09:23,750 --> 00:09:25,750
I was mildly curious.
219
00:09:28,417 --> 00:09:30,125
You know what I just realized?
220
00:09:30,250 --> 00:09:33,291
If Travis has a baby,
that makes me a granddaddy.
221
00:09:33,375 --> 00:09:35,291
And I'll be married to a grandma...
222
00:09:36,208 --> 00:09:37,875
which makes me a grandpa.
223
00:09:37,959 --> 00:09:40,542
Look at you two, a pair
of sweet, old grandpappies!
224
00:09:40,959 --> 00:09:43,875
Might I trouble one of you
for a Werther's Original?
225
00:09:45,291 --> 00:09:47,542
Man, a few hours ago,
we were about to throw down
226
00:09:47,625 --> 00:09:49,917
in a breaking competition,
and now we're grandpas.
227
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,709
Grandpas don't belong in breaking battles.
228
00:09:53,166 --> 00:09:55,709
They're fragile,
and loud music frightens them.
229
00:09:55,792 --> 00:09:58,917
Man, why is my neck so stiff?
I'm so sore.
230
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:00,625
That would be joint inflammation,
231
00:10:00,709 --> 00:10:02,959
one of the common symptoms
of growing really old,
232
00:10:03,250 --> 00:10:06,792
also, vision problems,
loose bowels, turkey neck,
233
00:10:06,875 --> 00:10:09,375
growing enlargement of the mons pubis...
234
00:10:11,458 --> 00:10:14,166
OK, my boss will be here any minute.
235
00:10:14,250 --> 00:10:15,834
- You guys ready?
- All set!
236
00:10:15,917 --> 00:10:17,917
Oh, F.Y.I., I made a few tweaks
to my character.
237
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:21,458
Tavis made millions on Pancake Party,
but what's next?
238
00:10:21,542 --> 00:10:23,709
I'll tell you what--
moving to New York
239
00:10:23,792 --> 00:10:25,375
to become
a world-class photographer.
240
00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:27,792
Hold the phone, Tavis.
241
00:10:27,875 --> 00:10:31,000
Who in their right mind would want to live
in New York City?
242
00:10:31,917 --> 00:10:32,917
Uh, me.
243
00:10:33,792 --> 00:10:36,583
To be a legit photographer,
it's New York or nothing, so...
244
00:10:36,667 --> 00:10:38,250
Wait a--
wait a second. Sorry.
245
00:10:38,583 --> 00:10:41,542
Are you saying that you,
Travis Cobb--
246
00:10:41,625 --> 00:10:43,500
Like, you really want to move to New York?
247
00:10:43,583 --> 00:10:46,333
- Definitely.
- I want to live in the country.
248
00:10:46,417 --> 00:10:48,750
Right, because there's a ton
249
00:10:49,083 --> 00:10:51,458
of great photography
happening in the country.
250
00:10:51,542 --> 00:10:52,542
"Ma'am, for this next shot,
251
00:10:52,625 --> 00:10:54,375
you mind putting the pig
on your husband's lap?"
252
00:10:54,458 --> 00:10:57,291
Well, I'm not raising our
five kids in New York City.
253
00:10:57,375 --> 00:10:59,917
- Let's keep this to Brittany and-- and--
- Five kids?
254
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:00,959
Are you insane?
255
00:11:01,041 --> 00:11:04,000
You think that my dream
for our future is insane?
256
00:11:04,083 --> 00:11:06,750
Insane, dumb, cliché...
257
00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:09,250
You know what?
Screw you, Travis!
258
00:11:09,333 --> 00:11:11,875
Why don't you take
your pasty ass to New York?
259
00:11:11,959 --> 00:11:13,667
Hey, knock yourself out!
260
00:11:14,333 --> 00:11:15,417
Those are my car keys.
261
00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:17,291
- Have fun walking!
- Hey...
262
00:11:21,542 --> 00:11:23,083
Jules, what's going on?
263
00:11:23,291 --> 00:11:24,959
I didn't know how
to tell Trav and Laurie
264
00:11:25,041 --> 00:11:27,083
That they were pregnant,
because I didn't know how they'd react.
265
00:11:27,166 --> 00:11:28,625
But they're doing so great...
266
00:11:28,709 --> 00:11:30,250
I mean, pretend-marriage great...
267
00:11:30,333 --> 00:11:31,834
that I thought,
"well, this is exciting news!"
268
00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:34,250
So how do you deliver exciting news?
269
00:11:34,667 --> 00:11:36,250
You do it with a party!
270
00:11:36,792 --> 00:11:38,417
Jules, didn't you get any of my texts?
271
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:41,667
Laurie and Trav had a huge blowup
like, "this could be the end" huge!
272
00:11:41,750 --> 00:11:43,500
Trav's right behind me!
He'll be here any second!
273
00:11:43,583 --> 00:11:46,083
Kill the party.
Everyone grab something.
274
00:11:46,166 --> 00:11:48,250
- I'll grab the wine!
- I got the food!
275
00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:50,083
Oh, God.
276
00:11:57,583 --> 00:11:59,458
Hey, Trav.
What's going on?
277
00:12:00,166 --> 00:12:01,166
Well, let's see.
278
00:12:02,417 --> 00:12:04,375
Pretty sure Laurie and I just broke up.
279
00:12:05,208 --> 00:12:06,291
So there's that.
280
00:12:08,917 --> 00:12:09,917
I'll be upstairs.
281
00:12:14,333 --> 00:12:17,667
Sorry.
It's... just really tense here.
282
00:12:20,542 --> 00:12:23,875
I was trying to find the perfect setting,
and now I just don't know what to do.
283
00:12:24,333 --> 00:12:25,917
I mean, I know I have to tell them.
284
00:12:26,333 --> 00:12:28,083
Or, different approach,
285
00:12:28,166 --> 00:12:31,208
we hop into a car, drive west,
and never look back.
286
00:12:31,291 --> 00:12:32,417
Don't joke.
287
00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:34,500
I packed my "Thelma & Louise"
bag six years ago.
288
00:12:34,583 --> 00:12:37,125
- Say the word, I'll go grab it.
- No, wait, I can't!
289
00:12:37,208 --> 00:12:38,667
I've got to go find Laurie and Travis.
290
00:12:38,750 --> 00:12:40,583
Oh, this is gonna be so hard.
291
00:12:42,250 --> 00:12:44,917
We can kiss every time
we cross a state line.
292
00:12:48,917 --> 00:12:50,917
Get out of here, dumb balloons!
293
00:12:51,041 --> 00:12:52,417
You sit around all day doing nothing.
294
00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:54,458
Why don't you go
make something of yourselves?
295
00:12:54,542 --> 00:12:55,834
Would you stop yelling?
296
00:12:55,917 --> 00:12:57,291
I mean, are you trying
to give me a migraine?
297
00:12:57,375 --> 00:13:00,917
What are you two
being so cranky about?
298
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,125
Ever since we found out
we're gonna be granddads,
299
00:13:03,208 --> 00:13:06,000
we've just felt... old.
300
00:13:06,083 --> 00:13:08,542
Well, you make that sound
like a dirty word.
301
00:13:08,625 --> 00:13:11,542
It just feels like everything
changes now, you know?
302
00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:15,667
Earlier, we were ready to go get crazy
at a stupid break battle.
303
00:13:15,750 --> 00:13:19,750
Doing stupid, crazy things
that's what keeps you young.
304
00:13:19,834 --> 00:13:22,667
Age really is all right up here.
305
00:13:24,375 --> 00:13:28,000
Yeah. I mean, my moves are no less dope
306
00:13:28,083 --> 00:13:29,709
than they were his morning, right?
307
00:13:29,792 --> 00:13:32,792
Crazy, stupid stuff's my middle name!
308
00:13:32,875 --> 00:13:34,166
What do you say, Party train?
309
00:13:34,250 --> 00:13:35,709
Does this look like a robot?
310
00:13:39,125 --> 00:13:41,333
Beep, boop, beep, my friend.
311
00:13:41,417 --> 00:13:42,709
- Let's do it!
- Let's do it!
312
00:13:45,208 --> 00:13:46,792
Hey, Bubba!
313
00:13:46,875 --> 00:13:47,750
How you holding up?
314
00:13:48,458 --> 00:13:49,542
You want to talk it out?
315
00:13:50,709 --> 00:13:53,834
Oh, uh, thanks, but I don't want
to burden you with this.
316
00:13:54,291 --> 00:13:56,542
I am your grandfather.
317
00:13:56,625 --> 00:14:00,500
My back is genetically
engineered to carry your burden.
318
00:14:01,458 --> 00:14:02,458
Lay it on me.
319
00:14:04,875 --> 00:14:07,083
I guess we should've talked
about this stuff sooner.
320
00:14:07,166 --> 00:14:09,125
I just felt like we would
always be compatible.
321
00:14:10,208 --> 00:14:11,500
What'd you want to talk to me about?
322
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,709
Let's wait till Travis gets here, OK?
323
00:14:14,250 --> 00:14:15,375
Oh, here he is.
324
00:14:16,542 --> 00:14:17,625
Hey, guys.
325
00:14:17,709 --> 00:14:19,959
Hey. so, there's something I need
to tell you both.
326
00:14:20,041 --> 00:14:20,917
OK, but can it wait?
327
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,834
I need to talk to Laurie
about something first.
328
00:14:23,834 --> 00:14:24,875
OK.
329
00:14:25,333 --> 00:14:28,542
Look, I hope you're not still mad.
I mean, it's kind of crazy
330
00:14:28,625 --> 00:14:31,041
we got in a fight over imaginary stuff.
331
00:14:31,291 --> 00:14:33,917
Honey, it's not imaginary stuff.
332
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:37,208
It feels like you and I want
different things in our lives,
333
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:39,166
and... that really scares me.
334
00:14:39,250 --> 00:14:40,625
I know. Me too.
335
00:14:41,709 --> 00:14:44,750
I mean, but I was talking
to Chick about...
336
00:14:45,250 --> 00:14:47,709
you know, how I wanted to move
to New York to follow my dream,
337
00:14:47,834 --> 00:14:51,166
and he told me to imagine my life
338
00:14:51,625 --> 00:14:53,083
exactly how I wanted it,
339
00:14:53,750 --> 00:14:55,750
and then picture it without you.
340
00:14:56,417 --> 00:14:58,083
I realized
341
00:14:58,166 --> 00:15:00,542
that being a photographer
isn't my dream.
342
00:15:01,917 --> 00:15:02,917
You are.
343
00:15:03,834 --> 00:15:08,917
And it doesn't really matter
how many great things happen to me.
344
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:12,750
If you're... not at the center of it,
it's not gonna mean anything.
345
00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:17,625
I love you, Laurie.
346
00:15:19,625 --> 00:15:21,083
God, Travis...
347
00:15:21,625 --> 00:15:23,041
I love you, too.
348
00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:29,208
Hey, I don't mean to ruin the moment,
but is this the first time you've said
349
00:15:29,291 --> 00:15:30,333
"I love you" to each other?
350
00:15:30,417 --> 00:15:31,834
Yes, it is, and yes, you did.
351
00:15:32,500 --> 00:15:34,709
Oh, my God.
This is so exciting! OK.
352
00:15:35,166 --> 00:15:36,542
It's time to tell you the news,
353
00:15:36,625 --> 00:15:38,917
except for this
is not the right atmosphere.
354
00:15:39,417 --> 00:15:41,417
OK. Can you just give me
just a minute?
355
00:15:54,583 --> 00:15:55,625
Look who it is.
356
00:15:55,709 --> 00:15:56,959
You guys still want to do this?
357
00:15:57,041 --> 00:15:59,500
Yo... be nice.
358
00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:01,542
What's up, Party Train?
359
00:16:01,750 --> 00:16:04,959
Why don't you help me break 'em off
a little somethin' like this?
360
00:16:05,125 --> 00:16:08,709
♪ Whoa, oh, oh ♪
361
00:16:10,583 --> 00:16:12,333
Oh!
362
00:16:14,041 --> 00:16:15,041
Yeah!
363
00:16:15,375 --> 00:16:18,250
♪ Whoa, oh, oh ♪
364
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,250
♪ What is love? ♪
365
00:16:20,333 --> 00:16:21,792
♪ Baby, don't hurt me ♪
366
00:16:21,875 --> 00:16:22,750
Oh! What?
367
00:16:22,834 --> 00:16:24,083
- No, you didn't!
- Yes, I did!
368
00:16:24,166 --> 00:16:25,792
♪ Don't hurt me, no more ♪
369
00:16:26,417 --> 00:16:27,834
♪ What is love? ♪
370
00:16:28,166 --> 00:16:29,959
♪ Baby, don't hurt me ♪
371
00:16:30,667 --> 00:16:33,500
♪ Don't hurt me, no more ♪
372
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,750
♪ Baby, don't hurt me ♪
373
00:16:38,250 --> 00:16:41,166
♪ Don't hurt me, no more ♪
374
00:16:43,625 --> 00:16:45,375
♪ Baby, don't hurt me ♪
375
00:16:45,750 --> 00:16:47,500
Yeah! What? Yeah!
376
00:16:47,583 --> 00:16:48,792
♪ Don't hurt me, no more ♪
377
00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:50,000
Whew!
378
00:16:50,083 --> 00:16:54,250
I hope you enjoyed your meal,
'cause you just... got... served!
379
00:16:56,917 --> 00:16:58,792
♪ With every step you take ♪
380
00:16:59,375 --> 00:17:00,834
♪ Kyoto to the bay ♪
381
00:17:00,917 --> 00:17:03,250
♪ Strolling so casually ♪
382
00:17:04,291 --> 00:17:06,625
Oh, man. They are so much better than us.
383
00:17:06,709 --> 00:17:08,667
♪ If you gave me a chance
I would take it ♪
384
00:17:08,750 --> 00:17:10,667
This-This really is quite
a hearty serving.
385
00:17:10,750 --> 00:17:12,792
♪ It's a shot in the dark
but I'll make it ♪
386
00:17:12,875 --> 00:17:13,917
Oh, look.
387
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,417
♪ Know with all of your heart
you can't shame me ♪
388
00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:18,000
- Oh. Go on.
- Sorry to waste your time!
389
00:17:18,083 --> 00:17:21,125
♪ ... There's no place I'd rather be ♪
390
00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:22,208
OK.
391
00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:23,667
I have something to tell you,
392
00:17:24,625 --> 00:17:26,792
but I wanted the setting to be right.
393
00:17:27,667 --> 00:17:28,917
So, come on.
394
00:17:40,500 --> 00:17:41,667
What's going on?
395
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:46,834
As you know, I recently went to the doctor
with a container of Laurie's pee.
396
00:17:46,917 --> 00:17:49,375
- You don't need to keep mentioning that.
- It's part of the story!
397
00:17:51,542 --> 00:17:53,709
The important part is...
398
00:17:56,875 --> 00:17:58,667
Laurie, you're pregnant.
399
00:17:59,291 --> 00:18:02,250
♪ The earth is warm... ♪
400
00:18:02,333 --> 00:18:04,083
S-She's pregnant?
401
00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:07,083
I know it's a shock, but please know
402
00:18:07,166 --> 00:18:09,458
that we will always be there
to love and support you
403
00:18:09,542 --> 00:18:11,375
with anything that you need.
404
00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:13,750
♪ ... here... ♪
405
00:18:13,834 --> 00:18:14,917
You guys OK?
406
00:18:15,750 --> 00:18:18,875
I feel like I just got hit
in the face with a 2x4...
407
00:18:18,959 --> 00:18:21,083
and yes, I know what that feels like.
408
00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:22,166
♪ ... here... ♪
409
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:25,000
I love you.
410
00:18:25,458 --> 00:18:26,667
And, uh...
411
00:18:27,125 --> 00:18:32,375
Right now, I honestly don't think
there's anything we can't handle together.
412
00:18:32,458 --> 00:18:33,792
♪ ... I am watching... ♪
413
00:18:34,083 --> 00:18:35,291
Me too.
414
00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:37,166
♪ Everything from space... ♪
415
00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:40,250
- Kiss, kiss, kiss!
- Yeah!
416
00:18:40,333 --> 00:18:42,208
Yeah!
417
00:18:42,291 --> 00:18:43,417
This is exciting.
418
00:18:44,208 --> 00:18:46,875
Yeah, I'd be more excited
if I knew a friendly millionaire.
419
00:18:47,542 --> 00:18:48,583
What about me?
420
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,000
♪ ... Finish... ♪
421
00:18:50,125 --> 00:18:51,166
You're a millionaire?
422
00:18:51,250 --> 00:18:52,750
Well, I'm a brain surgeon,
423
00:18:52,834 --> 00:18:55,125
and my largest personal expense
is doll clothes.
424
00:18:56,792 --> 00:18:58,667
Tom... let's talk.
425
00:19:01,291 --> 00:19:02,709
How you feeling, Sweetheart?
426
00:19:03,875 --> 00:19:06,917
- I'm terrified.
- That's understandable.
427
00:19:07,500 --> 00:19:10,458
So I will just tell you the same thing
428
00:19:10,542 --> 00:19:14,375
I told you when you found out
you were pregnant 22 years ago.
429
00:19:15,917 --> 00:19:17,291
It's gonna be OK.
430
00:19:17,834 --> 00:19:19,208
Your family loves you,
431
00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:22,625
and we'll always be right by your side.
432
00:19:22,709 --> 00:19:26,917
And, believe it or not,
there may come a day
433
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,667
when you look back and realize
that this was
434
00:19:29,750 --> 00:19:31,917
the best thing that ever happened to you.
435
00:19:35,125 --> 00:19:37,125
- Tommy!
- Congratulations.
436
00:19:38,834 --> 00:19:40,417
You're the smartest dad ever.
437
00:19:40,959 --> 00:19:43,166
I agree.
438
00:19:43,375 --> 00:19:44,500
I love you.
439
00:19:45,542 --> 00:19:47,208
I love you, too, Junebug.
440
00:19:48,917 --> 00:19:51,000
Or should I say, grandma?
441
00:19:53,583 --> 00:19:55,625
Let me get you a glass of wine.
442
00:19:55,709 --> 00:19:57,834
Yeah, give me a big one.
443
00:19:57,917 --> 00:19:59,417
What does that make you, Great-grandpa?
444
00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:00,834
Great. Just great.
445
00:20:01,083 --> 00:20:07,959
♪ So take a deep breath, take in ♪
446
00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:10,959
♪ All that you could want... ♪
447
00:20:17,125 --> 00:20:19,583
Oh, that was
an eventful year, everyone.
448
00:20:19,667 --> 00:20:20,875
Oh, it sure was.
449
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,875
I broke my wrist catching Trav
and Laurie in the shower.
450
00:20:23,959 --> 00:20:28,291
{\an8}- That was no towel rack.
- And I got puppies!
451
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:32,500
{\an8}And then we made out
to get Stan into private school.
452
00:20:34,542 --> 00:20:36,583
{\an8}Oh, that was hot!
453
00:20:36,667 --> 00:20:38,250
{\an8}And now Chick has moved in,
454
00:20:38,333 --> 00:20:40,333
{\an8}and Trav and Laurie
are gonna have a baby.
455
00:20:40,417 --> 00:20:43,625
{\an8}that's too many people
in the gang. Somebody has to go.
456
00:20:43,709 --> 00:20:47,000
{\an8}well, I nominate dime eyes!
457
00:20:47,583 --> 00:20:49,125
{\an8}OK.
OK.
458
00:20:49,208 --> 00:20:50,333
{\an8}Change approved!
459
00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:54,583
{\an8}Oh, now I have to go get
more whitening strips and hair gel.
460
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,083
{\an8}Ah!
35260
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