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1
00:00:07,917 --> 00:00:09,709
Oh, you're doing so good.
2
00:00:09,792 --> 00:00:11,208
- No. no, he's not.
- Not... not really.
3
00:00:11,291 --> 00:00:12,583
- Harris, I'm open!
- Let's go, baby!
4
00:00:14,417 --> 00:00:15,792
You almost touched it!
5
00:00:18,667 --> 00:00:19,667
Um...
6
00:00:20,417 --> 00:00:21,709
It's really cool
of you guys
7
00:00:21,792 --> 00:00:23,166
to come out
for the playoff game.
8
00:00:24,333 --> 00:00:26,375
I realize I'm not
the greatest skater in the world.
9
00:00:26,458 --> 00:00:29,125
Oh, stop it.
you look amazing out there.
10
00:00:29,208 --> 00:00:31,834
Is this why Travis
thinks he's so handsome?
11
00:00:31,917 --> 00:00:33,542
Yep. that's all me.
12
00:00:34,583 --> 00:00:35,709
Game on!
13
00:00:37,625 --> 00:00:39,041
I'm having a thought.
14
00:00:39,125 --> 00:00:41,291
If evolution is real,
15
00:00:41,959 --> 00:00:44,291
wouldn't we have wheels
on our feet by now?
16
00:00:44,375 --> 00:00:47,000
Jellybean, you are
the verbal equivalent
17
00:00:47,083 --> 00:00:48,500
of huffing paint.
18
00:00:53,375 --> 00:00:54,500
Oh!
19
00:00:56,375 --> 00:00:57,375
Oh, please.
20
00:00:57,458 --> 00:00:59,709
Not the face.
Not the face.
21
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:03,417
Hi. Oh, honey.
Let me see.
22
00:01:03,500 --> 00:01:04,709
Unh-unh.
23
00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:06,166
I'm your wife.
24
00:01:06,542 --> 00:01:08,750
I will love you no matter
what you look like.
25
00:01:11,208 --> 00:01:12,792
I don't think I can love that.
26
00:01:12,875 --> 00:01:14,000
Oh my God.
27
00:01:24,917 --> 00:01:26,166
Honey, you awake?
28
00:01:30,750 --> 00:01:32,041
I can't sleep either.
29
00:01:33,583 --> 00:01:34,750
{\an8}At least I have some company.
30
00:01:35,291 --> 00:01:37,125
{\an8}Hey, why don't we stay up all night
31
00:01:37,208 --> 00:01:38,792
{\an8}and make it
like a slumber party?
32
00:01:38,875 --> 00:01:39,959
{\an8}We can watch tv
33
00:01:40,041 --> 00:01:42,208
{\an8}and, oh, we can look
through my old yearbook.
34
00:01:44,959 --> 00:01:47,750
{\an8}Ah.
What do you say?
35
00:01:50,291 --> 00:01:51,834
{\an8}Sounds like a "yes" to me.
36
00:01:52,709 --> 00:01:53,709
{\an8}Oh, see this guy?
37
00:01:54,291 --> 00:01:55,417
{\an8}Chris Jones?
38
00:01:55,500 --> 00:01:57,291
{\an8}I totally let him feel me up,
39
00:01:57,375 --> 00:02:00,208
{\an8}and all he wrote was,
"Keep in touch. Ha ha."
40
00:02:01,041 --> 00:02:02,041
{\an8}I'm glad he died.
41
00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:06,500
{\an8}No, no, no.
The slumber party's just starting.
42
00:02:06,583 --> 00:02:07,625
Come on, dude.
43
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,000
Come on.
44
00:02:10,333 --> 00:02:11,333
Oh.
45
00:02:12,417 --> 00:02:14,000
Stupid painkillers.
46
00:02:15,750 --> 00:02:16,750
{\an8}Uh...
47
00:02:18,166 --> 00:02:19,208
{\an8}What?
48
00:02:19,291 --> 00:02:20,917
{\an8}I didn't sleep.
49
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,667
{\an8}It's still last night for me.
I can drink.
50
00:02:23,750 --> 00:02:26,750
{\an8}Anna Nicole Smith lived
and died by that rule.
51
00:02:26,834 --> 00:02:29,417
{\an8}Honey, if you can't sleep,
just take a sleeping pill.
52
00:02:29,500 --> 00:02:31,417
{\an8}I'm not a fan
of taking drugs like that.
53
00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:33,417
{\an8}You know,
people who have to self-medicate,
54
00:02:33,500 --> 00:02:35,542
{\an8}They're probably just hiding
from a bigger issue.
55
00:02:35,625 --> 00:02:37,250
{\an8}Hmm.
Probably.
56
00:02:37,333 --> 00:02:38,959
{\an8}Plus, I just don't like the idea
57
00:02:39,041 --> 00:02:40,625
{\an8}of altering my brain.
58
00:02:41,041 --> 00:02:42,750
{\an8}I like to stay sharp.
59
00:02:42,834 --> 00:02:43,834
{\an8}Oh, God.
60
00:02:45,542 --> 00:02:47,208
{\an8}These heels are tricky.
61
00:02:50,542 --> 00:02:52,375
{\an8}Don't be self-conscious.
62
00:02:52,458 --> 00:02:53,458
{\an8}You look...
63
00:02:55,750 --> 00:02:56,959
{\an8}Help me out here, guys.
64
00:02:57,041 --> 00:02:58,667
{\an8}- Nasty.
- Steve Buscemi.
65
00:03:00,208 --> 00:03:01,667
{\an8}I love you.
66
00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:03,667
{\an8}I love you, too.
67
00:03:04,625 --> 00:03:06,041
{\an8}Okay.
68
00:03:07,583 --> 00:03:09,500
{\an8}The doctor said we can't kiss
for a week.
69
00:03:09,583 --> 00:03:11,000
{\an8}so we have to high five.
70
00:03:11,083 --> 00:03:13,458
{\an8}Valentine's Day is screwed.
71
00:03:13,542 --> 00:03:14,750
{\an8}At least you'll be together.
72
00:03:15,083 --> 00:03:17,166
{\an8}I'll be on my iPad
waiting for Wade.
73
00:03:17,542 --> 00:03:19,542
{\an8}I mean, literally,
I'm gonna be sitting on my iPad.
74
00:03:19,625 --> 00:03:22,000
{\an8}I want it to be the first thing
he sees when he logs on.
75
00:03:22,083 --> 00:03:23,333
Two years at war...
76
00:03:23,417 --> 00:03:25,125
That'll be the image
that haunts him.
77
00:03:26,959 --> 00:03:29,375
She put a little foam heart
on your latte.
78
00:03:29,458 --> 00:03:31,667
Why couldn't you say
"thanks for the extra effort"?
79
00:03:31,750 --> 00:03:34,250
Yeah, that's not really
the type of thing I say.
80
00:03:34,333 --> 00:03:35,542
There is a fun game:
81
00:03:35,625 --> 00:03:37,959
Things Ellie
would never say.
82
00:03:38,375 --> 00:03:39,917
"I just want
to make you happy."
83
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:41,166
"Tell me more
about your kids."
84
00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:42,166
"I'll help you move."
85
00:03:42,250 --> 00:03:43,834
"I would love to see
your wedding video."
86
00:03:43,917 --> 00:03:45,125
"Can I drive you
To the airport?"
87
00:03:45,208 --> 00:03:47,458
- "I'm wrong."
- "I don't mind waiting in line."
88
00:03:47,542 --> 00:03:49,041
"I love Valentine's Day."
89
00:03:49,125 --> 00:03:50,083
You lose, Jelly.
90
00:03:50,166 --> 00:03:52,041
I do love Valentine's Day,
91
00:03:52,125 --> 00:03:54,917
'cause Andy always gets me
the most fabulous present.
92
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,083
I got you something
so fantastic this year,
93
00:03:57,166 --> 00:03:58,625
mark my words,
you're gonna say
94
00:03:58,709 --> 00:04:00,917
it is the best gift
you have ever been given.
95
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:01,917
Yay!
96
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,542
And what do you give him?
97
00:04:03,625 --> 00:04:06,083
I mean,
other than his really low self-esteem.
98
00:04:06,542 --> 00:04:08,792
Every year,
I give him a sex coupon,
99
00:04:08,875 --> 00:04:11,625
which he can redeem
whenever he chooses.
100
00:04:11,834 --> 00:04:13,834
Luckily for me,
He always loses them.
101
00:04:13,917 --> 00:04:14,917
Yeah.
102
00:04:15,417 --> 00:04:18,208
Or do I? Pow!
103
00:04:18,291 --> 00:04:20,417
I've been saving these up
for ten years.
104
00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:21,667
Yay!
105
00:04:21,750 --> 00:04:25,083
I'm cashing them all in
over the next three days,
106
00:04:25,166 --> 00:04:29,125
culminating in a Valentine's Day
sex-travaganza.
107
00:04:29,208 --> 00:04:30,375
Look at her shake.
108
00:04:30,542 --> 00:04:31,750
It's like
when your foster dad
109
00:04:31,834 --> 00:04:33,083
goes to the fridge
for another beer,
110
00:04:33,166 --> 00:04:35,208
but you know he drank
the last one ten minutes ago.
111
00:04:35,667 --> 00:04:36,667
Whoa.
112
00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:38,834
We got a runner.
113
00:04:38,917 --> 00:04:39,959
I know where she lives.
114
00:04:41,417 --> 00:04:43,709
What you up to tonight,
T-bone?
115
00:04:44,458 --> 00:04:45,667
Trying to romance this girl
116
00:04:45,750 --> 00:04:47,834
I met at the film society
screening of Alien.
117
00:04:47,917 --> 00:04:49,250
Total sci-fi chick.
118
00:04:49,625 --> 00:04:51,709
But I'm not sure
if she's into me,
119
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:54,750
so I'm gonna take a big swing
and actually create
120
00:04:54,834 --> 00:04:56,959
an alternate galaxy
in my apartment.
121
00:04:57,041 --> 00:04:59,125
You know, put planets, stars,
up on the green screen.
122
00:04:59,208 --> 00:05:00,208
See what happens.
123
00:05:00,291 --> 00:05:01,959
That reminds me of the time
I did none of that
124
00:05:02,041 --> 00:05:03,041
and still got laid.
125
00:05:03,125 --> 00:05:04,125
Nice face.
126
00:05:04,208 --> 00:05:05,709
Gee.
127
00:05:05,792 --> 00:05:08,834
Oh! G-man, I want to give you
your Valentine's Day gift early.
128
00:05:08,917 --> 00:05:10,375
You know, when Jules isn't sleeping,
she can get pissy.
129
00:05:10,458 --> 00:05:12,792
So I figured
you could use it now.
130
00:05:13,583 --> 00:05:14,959
"The Jules Rules"?
131
00:05:15,041 --> 00:05:17,250
It's a book I compiled
Of tips and how-tos
132
00:05:17,333 --> 00:05:19,208
for handling any situation
with J-bird.
133
00:05:19,291 --> 00:05:20,750
You've got chapters in here
134
00:05:20,834 --> 00:05:22,375
that will help you out
if you forget her birthday
135
00:05:22,458 --> 00:05:23,750
or if you come home late.
136
00:05:24,250 --> 00:05:25,417
Here's a little taste.
137
00:05:26,208 --> 00:05:27,208
"Tip 16:
138
00:05:27,291 --> 00:05:29,333
if Jules flies off the handle
for no reason,
139
00:05:29,417 --> 00:05:30,792
distract her with shoe talk."
140
00:05:31,250 --> 00:05:33,000
"Tip number 37:
141
00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:36,083
Jules thinks doggy style
Is a way of preparing eggs.
142
00:05:36,166 --> 00:05:37,667
Do not correct her.
143
00:05:38,083 --> 00:05:39,333
It is funny."
144
00:05:39,417 --> 00:05:41,291
Well, this is very helpful. Thank you.
145
00:05:41,375 --> 00:05:43,875
But I didn't get you anything
because,
146
00:05:43,959 --> 00:05:46,750
well, men don't get other men
Valentine's Day gifts.
147
00:05:46,834 --> 00:05:49,750
Bobby, the sweater's perfect.
I can't stop smiling.
148
00:05:49,834 --> 00:05:51,917
Happy V-Day, buddy.
149
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:53,709
And I'm already using
the bath oils.
150
00:05:53,792 --> 00:05:57,083
Oh. Summer breeze.
151
00:05:57,667 --> 00:05:58,959
- Oh, I can smell it.
- Yeah.
152
00:06:00,166 --> 00:06:02,166
Hey. I was wondering
where you went.
153
00:06:02,583 --> 00:06:03,583
You found me.
154
00:06:03,667 --> 00:06:05,625
Now you go hide,
And I'll find you.
155
00:06:05,709 --> 00:06:06,959
Just for that...
156
00:06:09,125 --> 00:06:10,583
We're sitting sidesaddle.
157
00:06:11,834 --> 00:06:13,542
She'll take that to go.
158
00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:16,208
It's sex o'clock.
159
00:06:16,291 --> 00:06:19,000
I got a blanket, some Gatorade,
and a shady parking spot.
160
00:06:19,083 --> 00:06:20,208
Oh, but I just had a bowl of chili.
161
00:06:20,291 --> 00:06:22,625
Yeah, so did I.
Let's get crazy.
162
00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:24,750
Wow.
163
00:06:25,875 --> 00:06:28,125
One down. nine to go.
Have fun.
164
00:06:30,291 --> 00:06:32,709
I'm going to crush sleep tonight.
165
00:06:33,500 --> 00:06:35,834
I was thinking having sex
Might help, but...
166
00:06:35,917 --> 00:06:38,417
Doing it without kissing
would make me feel like a pro,
167
00:06:38,500 --> 00:06:39,917
and that does not relax me.
168
00:06:40,417 --> 00:06:41,458
It gets me all excited.
169
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,709
Filed away for a later date?
170
00:06:44,333 --> 00:06:45,500
Where's my eye mask?
171
00:06:47,375 --> 00:06:48,375
Oh, great.
172
00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:50,792
What am I supposed to do,
just put my hair over my eyes?
173
00:06:50,917 --> 00:06:52,667
Oh, this stupid haircut!
174
00:06:53,125 --> 00:06:54,500
If Jules
flies off the handle,
175
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:56,083
distract her with shoe talk.
176
00:06:56,375 --> 00:06:57,750
I really like
Your slippers.
177
00:06:58,250 --> 00:06:59,250
I know, right?
178
00:07:00,208 --> 00:07:01,792
They look like suede,
but nope.
179
00:07:01,875 --> 00:07:02,917
They're just terry cloth.
180
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:04,792
Oh, they're so soft.
181
00:07:05,417 --> 00:07:06,417
Oh.
182
00:07:07,583 --> 00:07:08,583
Found it.
183
00:07:09,250 --> 00:07:11,250
Ah. good night, sweetie.
184
00:07:15,250 --> 00:07:16,333
I may sleep forever.
185
00:07:34,750 --> 00:07:35,750
Oh, I'm sorry.
186
00:07:35,834 --> 00:07:37,750
Uh, sometimes I just come here to think.
187
00:07:37,834 --> 00:07:40,291
What's on your mind?
I'll jump right in.
188
00:07:40,375 --> 00:07:42,291
Do you think you can
invent a new smell
189
00:07:42,375 --> 00:07:44,333
or do you think all the smells
are already out there
190
00:07:44,417 --> 00:07:46,041
and we just need
to discover them?
191
00:07:46,959 --> 00:07:48,208
I wonder who else
Is awake.
192
00:07:48,750 --> 00:07:50,792
Are you ready
for a close encounter
193
00:07:50,875 --> 00:07:52,625
of the Travis kind?
194
00:07:52,709 --> 00:07:53,917
Is this a bad time?
195
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,000
Mom?
196
00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:58,250
Oh, God! Ah!
197
00:07:58,333 --> 00:08:00,250
These harnesses
were a bad idea.
198
00:08:03,125 --> 00:08:06,125
You cannot come to my apartment
at 3:00 in the morning.
199
00:08:06,208 --> 00:08:07,208
You gotta get some sleep.
200
00:08:09,083 --> 00:08:13,709
So he created a whole
imaginary space world for her?
201
00:08:13,792 --> 00:08:16,083
Yeah. His play dates
haven't changed much since he was little.
202
00:08:18,500 --> 00:08:20,917
Oh, my God.
It's so nice to be anywhere
203
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,375
Without a Cuban man
climbing all over me.
204
00:08:23,458 --> 00:08:24,792
Been there.
205
00:08:24,875 --> 00:08:25,875
When?
206
00:08:26,125 --> 00:08:28,208
Jules, can I tell you
why I think
207
00:08:28,291 --> 00:08:29,959
you should just go ahead
and take a sleeping pill?
208
00:08:30,041 --> 00:08:31,625
Please. I care about your opinion.
209
00:08:31,875 --> 00:08:33,875
Oh, things that Ellie would never say.
210
00:08:33,959 --> 00:08:35,083
Well played.
211
00:08:35,375 --> 00:08:37,417
Bottom line,
The pills work.
212
00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:40,583
Sure, sometimes you do
crazy stuff while you sleep.
213
00:08:40,667 --> 00:08:42,375
One time, I woke up
on a plane to Phoenix.
214
00:08:42,458 --> 00:08:44,375
But, you know, I rolled with it
and lived there for a year.
215
00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:45,625
- It really is a dry heat.
- Really?
216
00:08:45,709 --> 00:08:46,709
Yeah. Would my hair
look pretty there?
217
00:08:46,792 --> 00:08:48,959
- Amazing.
- I'm not gonna take a pill!
218
00:08:49,041 --> 00:08:51,750
My mom is very susceptible
to peer pressure. Shall we?
219
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:53,041
- You should totally take it.
- Do it.
220
00:08:53,125 --> 00:08:54,625
- Come on.
- It's a little pill.
221
00:08:54,709 --> 00:08:55,709
- Do it.
- It's really...
222
00:08:56,083 --> 00:08:57,291
And it doesn't matter.
It'll make you cool.
223
00:08:57,375 --> 00:08:58,583
Will it really make me cool?
224
00:08:58,667 --> 00:08:59,875
- Yes.
- Yeah.
225
00:09:00,417 --> 00:09:01,500
All right.
I'll take one tonight.
226
00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:04,125
There you are, my love.
227
00:09:05,667 --> 00:09:06,750
I'm here with all my friends.
228
00:09:06,834 --> 00:09:08,000
Come on. It'll be fun.
229
00:09:08,083 --> 00:09:10,000
- It won't.
- Yeah, it's gonna be fun.
230
00:09:13,125 --> 00:09:15,709
Honey, the pharmacy said
that my sleeping pills
231
00:09:15,792 --> 00:09:17,417
wouldn't be ready
for another 20 minutes.
232
00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:18,500
So could you pick 'em up
for me?
233
00:09:18,583 --> 00:09:20,834
Sure. but I don't need
your insurance card.
234
00:09:20,917 --> 00:09:22,667
I'll just memorize
your policy number.
235
00:09:23,542 --> 00:09:25,125
Never mind.
I'll get 'em myself.
236
00:09:25,208 --> 00:09:26,208
Bye, guys.
237
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,417
"Tip 103:
238
00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:31,667
If Jules asks you
to do a menial task,
239
00:09:31,750 --> 00:09:33,125
tell her something
that makes her think
240
00:09:33,208 --> 00:09:34,667
You're gonna screw it up."
241
00:09:34,750 --> 00:09:36,959
This notebook is amazing,
Bobby.
242
00:09:37,041 --> 00:09:39,375
I can only express
How I feel right now
243
00:09:39,458 --> 00:09:40,500
By using a metaphor.
244
00:09:40,875 --> 00:09:42,500
You ever make a gift
for somebody,
245
00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:43,750
and they just love it?
246
00:09:43,834 --> 00:09:46,875
Not a metaphor, Dad.
That's exactly what happened.
247
00:09:47,417 --> 00:09:49,458
Even better. Adios.
248
00:09:50,166 --> 00:09:51,417
I am impressed, Grayson.
249
00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:52,917
Most guys wouldn't be able
to admit
250
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,000
that they need another man's help
to make their marriage work.
251
00:09:55,458 --> 00:09:56,500
What?
252
00:09:56,542 --> 00:09:57,583
Whiskey, please.
253
00:09:57,667 --> 00:09:59,750
I'm starting to despise
my husband.
254
00:09:59,834 --> 00:10:01,750
Well, hate sex can be awesome.
255
00:10:01,834 --> 00:10:04,583
Did you learn that from every guy
who's ever slept with you?
256
00:10:05,125 --> 00:10:07,250
Still got it
even though I'm dead inside.
257
00:10:09,625 --> 00:10:10,625
Ah.
258
00:10:13,625 --> 00:10:15,333
I can't believe
I'm gonna try this.
259
00:10:16,208 --> 00:10:17,500
Shouldn't the shades
be down?
260
00:10:17,583 --> 00:10:19,041
I mean, cops can see in here.
261
00:10:19,125 --> 00:10:21,291
It's a sleeping pill,
Jules, not heroin.
262
00:10:21,709 --> 00:10:24,208
I totally respect that you think
about what a pill is
263
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:25,291
before you put it in your body.
264
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,000
I've never done that.
265
00:10:32,041 --> 00:10:33,083
I feel weird.
266
00:10:33,417 --> 00:10:35,458
Well, that makes sense
because it's been one second.
267
00:10:35,542 --> 00:10:38,041
Don't make fun of me.
I'm not good at being a druggie.
268
00:10:39,250 --> 00:10:40,250
Hmm.
269
00:10:40,333 --> 00:10:43,959
Suddenly this water
tastes amazing.
270
00:10:44,041 --> 00:10:47,083
And cue the paranoia
in three, two...
271
00:10:47,166 --> 00:10:49,083
Why are you counting down?
What's gonna happen?
272
00:10:50,542 --> 00:10:52,166
What if I can't sleep?
273
00:10:58,667 --> 00:11:00,500
Hey. What are you doing?
274
00:11:00,917 --> 00:11:02,750
No one was here,
so I cooked a chicken.
275
00:11:02,834 --> 00:11:04,500
Those two thoughts
don't connect.
276
00:11:05,625 --> 00:11:07,166
That pill knocked Jules out.
277
00:11:07,542 --> 00:11:08,709
If you read the chapter
on romance,
278
00:11:08,792 --> 00:11:09,875
Then you know
after a long sleep,
279
00:11:09,959 --> 00:11:11,542
Jules can get
a little rAndy.
280
00:11:11,625 --> 00:11:13,250
Would it be appropriate
to talk about the positions
281
00:11:13,417 --> 00:11:14,417
that she enjoys?
282
00:11:14,625 --> 00:11:16,000
- No.
- Understood.
283
00:11:16,834 --> 00:11:19,625
If you're curious later,
this here's a stick-figure flip-book
284
00:11:19,709 --> 00:11:21,083
I made of her favorite move.
285
00:11:22,709 --> 00:11:25,208
Whoo! Look at him go!
286
00:11:26,166 --> 00:11:28,083
I can handle my own relationship.
287
00:11:28,166 --> 00:11:29,166
In fact,
288
00:11:29,458 --> 00:11:30,667
I don't need this.
289
00:11:31,542 --> 00:11:33,250
Well, I just figured
it'd be easier
290
00:11:33,333 --> 00:11:34,917
to take care of the car
if you had the manual.
291
00:11:35,375 --> 00:11:37,625
Yeah, but, Bobby, you wrote that
while you were married,
292
00:11:37,709 --> 00:11:39,208
and that didn't turn out
so great, did it?
293
00:11:40,291 --> 00:11:41,500
Sure.
294
00:11:42,709 --> 00:11:43,709
No problem.
295
00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:49,625
You have, uh,
something in your ear.
296
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:52,667
Oh. and now...
It's two.
297
00:11:53,083 --> 00:11:56,125
Please no. No part of me
Is gonna enjoy this.
298
00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:57,750
I've shut down.
299
00:11:57,834 --> 00:12:01,166
So you will be having sex
with an inanimate object
300
00:12:01,250 --> 00:12:03,250
that feels nothing
towards you.
301
00:12:03,333 --> 00:12:04,667
Cool. You wanna go
bedroom again
302
00:12:04,750 --> 00:12:06,125
or you do you wanna try
the couch?
303
00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:10,417
Wow.
304
00:12:14,208 --> 00:12:15,208
What do you want?
305
00:12:15,291 --> 00:12:16,792
He'll never look for me here.
306
00:12:17,834 --> 00:12:19,125
Dummy.
307
00:12:22,417 --> 00:12:26,291
I think I slept,
but I still feel totally strung out.
308
00:12:26,583 --> 00:12:28,875
Anybody in the mood
For some eggs doggy style?
309
00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:32,208
Why do you guys
all look so tired?
310
00:12:32,291 --> 00:12:34,500
You don't remember anything
from last night, do you?
311
00:12:34,583 --> 00:12:36,667
No. Why? What happened?
312
00:12:36,792 --> 00:12:37,792
Well...
313
00:12:46,709 --> 00:12:48,083
Jules?
314
00:12:54,542 --> 00:12:55,542
What are you doing?
315
00:12:56,041 --> 00:12:59,291
I'm trying to close...
The Tomato cage.
316
00:13:01,625 --> 00:13:03,166
- Peanut butter?
- No.
317
00:13:06,792 --> 00:13:07,792
Ow.
318
00:13:08,834 --> 00:13:09,834
What are you doing?
319
00:13:10,375 --> 00:13:11,792
It's, like, 3:00 a.m.
320
00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:14,333
The ocean is so pretty today.
321
00:13:14,417 --> 00:13:17,750
Hey! Take off your bikini,
and let's do it in the sand.
322
00:13:18,417 --> 00:13:20,417
None of us slept at all.
323
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:23,250
Oh my God.
I am so sorry.
324
00:13:24,709 --> 00:13:26,417
You didn't have sex
with me, did you?
325
00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:27,583
No.
326
00:13:27,667 --> 00:13:28,667
Okay.
327
00:13:41,417 --> 00:13:43,208
No, no, no.
More herky-jerky.
328
00:13:43,291 --> 00:13:44,291
Plus, you gotta make a face
329
00:13:44,375 --> 00:13:45,792
like you got hit
with a shovel.
330
00:13:49,667 --> 00:13:50,917
It's not funny.
331
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,834
Well, of course
it's not funny, Jules.
332
00:13:52,917 --> 00:13:55,250
It's the Tomato cage dance.
333
00:13:55,333 --> 00:13:58,250
Sleeping pills are out,
but i've gotta get some sleep.
334
00:13:58,333 --> 00:13:59,792
I mean, look at my hands.
335
00:13:59,875 --> 00:14:01,166
They aren't shaking.
336
00:14:01,250 --> 00:14:02,667
I said look at my hands.
337
00:14:02,834 --> 00:14:05,375
They're the hands
of a 90-year-old bricklayer.
338
00:14:05,458 --> 00:14:06,500
But your hands always
look like...
339
00:14:06,583 --> 00:14:07,917
Don't finish that sentence.
340
00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:11,291
My hands look old
because I haven't slept.
341
00:14:11,375 --> 00:14:13,417
- Yes. Yes, yes, yes.
- Yeah. Uh-huh. Sure. Yeah.
342
00:14:13,500 --> 00:14:14,667
Sleepy hands.
343
00:14:15,792 --> 00:14:17,208
I gotta go to work, babe.
344
00:14:18,875 --> 00:14:19,875
Hmm.
345
00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:21,583
Love you.
Love you.
346
00:14:22,959 --> 00:14:25,083
And it seems my wife
has run away.
347
00:14:25,166 --> 00:14:27,041
No, no, no.
You and Tom are staying.
348
00:14:27,125 --> 00:14:28,458
You're my think tank.
349
00:14:28,542 --> 00:14:30,208
How can I get some sleep?
350
00:14:30,291 --> 00:14:31,834
- Go.
- Meditation.
351
00:14:31,917 --> 00:14:33,458
- Dumb. next.
- Hot tea.
352
00:14:33,542 --> 00:14:34,542
Hot tea?
353
00:14:34,625 --> 00:14:36,959
What, you're bringing
that weak-ass crap to the table?
354
00:14:37,875 --> 00:14:38,917
Read a good book.
355
00:14:39,208 --> 00:14:40,083
Have we met?
356
00:14:40,166 --> 00:14:41,625
If I really need to crash,
357
00:14:41,709 --> 00:14:44,875
Sometimes the best thing
Is, uh, angry, aggressive...
358
00:14:44,959 --> 00:14:46,750
Let's call it self-love.
359
00:14:47,834 --> 00:14:49,583
Looks like Tom
blew up the think tank.
360
00:14:53,625 --> 00:14:55,917
Hey, why'd you give my Dad
his gift back?
361
00:14:56,458 --> 00:14:59,083
I don't need him telling me
how to handle my relationship,
362
00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:01,667
Giving me stupid
stick-figure flip-books.
363
00:15:01,959 --> 00:15:03,583
Those flip-books are how
he teaches people things.
364
00:15:03,792 --> 00:15:05,125
I mean, I still have
the one he used
365
00:15:05,208 --> 00:15:06,333
to show me
how to put on a condom.
366
00:15:06,417 --> 00:15:07,583
I got my own problems.
367
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,667
Like, look, if my face
doesn't heal up,
368
00:15:09,750 --> 00:15:11,417
I'm gonna have to work
on my personality.
369
00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:12,959
- Bummer.
- No kidding.
370
00:15:13,041 --> 00:15:16,000
So forgive me if I don't want a book
that your dad wrote about Jules
371
00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:17,458
- while they were married.
- You don't get it.
372
00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:19,667
He didn't write it
while they were still together.
373
00:15:19,750 --> 00:15:21,000
He wrote it after they split
374
00:15:21,083 --> 00:15:22,417
so if he ever got
a second chance,
375
00:15:22,500 --> 00:15:23,709
he wouldn't screw it up again.
376
00:15:24,333 --> 00:15:26,667
I didn't think he'd ever give it
to someone else,
377
00:15:26,750 --> 00:15:27,917
But he must...
378
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,875
Think of you
as a really close friend.
379
00:15:35,750 --> 00:15:39,166
Jelly, your DVR
has nothing on it
380
00:15:39,250 --> 00:15:41,667
except reality shows
about cupcake contests
381
00:15:41,750 --> 00:15:44,458
and people who are too fat
to leave their house.
382
00:15:45,375 --> 00:15:48,750
You know there's actually a show
that's about both?
383
00:15:48,834 --> 00:15:51,417
It's called "Fatty cakes,"
and at the end,
384
00:15:51,500 --> 00:15:54,291
the winner gets airlifted
to her new bakery.
385
00:15:54,583 --> 00:15:56,500
Holy crap.
I have to see that.
386
00:15:56,583 --> 00:15:59,208
Not that I don't love
having you here. I don't.
387
00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:01,667
But why can't you
go home to Andy?
388
00:16:01,750 --> 00:16:03,959
We've already had sex
four times
389
00:16:04,041 --> 00:16:05,667
In the last day and a half.
390
00:16:05,750 --> 00:16:07,667
You don't think
that's a blast?
391
00:16:07,917 --> 00:16:10,083
Just having sex
over and over and over
392
00:16:10,166 --> 00:16:11,667
to make your man happy?
393
00:16:11,750 --> 00:16:12,750
I don't.
394
00:16:12,834 --> 00:16:15,083
But in my defense,
I had a dad who loved me.
395
00:16:15,625 --> 00:16:18,375
I just think it's amazing
that after all these years
396
00:16:18,458 --> 00:16:21,208
Andy still wants to grind nasties
all the time.
397
00:16:21,542 --> 00:16:24,083
You know, I really hope
that I have that someday.
398
00:16:24,166 --> 00:16:25,417
Well, thanks, Jelly.
399
00:16:26,250 --> 00:16:27,250
You're all right.
400
00:16:28,583 --> 00:16:29,875
Things Ellie would never say.
401
00:16:29,959 --> 00:16:31,583
That might be
the best one yet.
402
00:16:32,208 --> 00:16:33,208
All right.
403
00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:34,959
Prepare to cry.
404
00:16:36,542 --> 00:16:38,709
♪ Fatty Cakes ♪
405
00:16:38,792 --> 00:16:40,041
Oh. what the...
406
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:42,750
Oh.
407
00:16:42,834 --> 00:16:45,083
I'm so sick of not being able
To kiss you.
408
00:16:45,542 --> 00:16:47,208
Well, if you can't sleep tonight,
409
00:16:47,291 --> 00:16:49,333
just wake me up,
and I'll keep you company.
410
00:16:49,417 --> 00:16:50,417
No need.
411
00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:52,667
I've decided to embrace
Not being able to sleep.
412
00:16:53,583 --> 00:16:56,709
I can finish my work,
exercise more.
413
00:16:57,208 --> 00:16:58,959
Well, I hope you
get some sleep tonight.
414
00:16:59,041 --> 00:17:01,458
I don't.
I'm doubling down on life.
415
00:17:02,333 --> 00:17:03,375
- Hey, can't!
- Oh.
416
00:17:16,709 --> 00:17:18,000
- Hey.
- Hey.
417
00:17:25,208 --> 00:17:26,917
It's four bedrooms,
three baths,
418
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,166
and you should definitely see it
before anyone else does.
419
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:32,625
Oh. it's, uh, 4:15.
Why?
420
00:17:33,083 --> 00:17:34,083
Oh.
421
00:17:36,208 --> 00:17:37,208
Ugh!
422
00:17:41,750 --> 00:17:42,750
Morning.
423
00:17:43,417 --> 00:17:45,500
Hi. I forgot you lived here.
424
00:17:45,583 --> 00:17:48,250
Don't be mad.
I know I shouldn't have left.
425
00:17:48,667 --> 00:17:52,417
I'm just not a have-sex-constantly
type of girl.
426
00:17:52,500 --> 00:17:55,625
I'm a more
have-sex-occasionally-
427
00:17:55,709 --> 00:17:57,709
and-if-it's-the-right-time-of-day-
428
00:17:57,792 --> 00:18:00,125
and-if-you-haven't-made-
the-mistake-of-asking-me-for-it
429
00:18:00,208 --> 00:18:01,208
type of girl.
430
00:18:02,667 --> 00:18:03,667
Andy...
431
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,959
I just want you to be happy.
432
00:18:06,041 --> 00:18:07,583
Things Ellie never says.
433
00:18:08,166 --> 00:18:10,208
True,
But I'm saying it now.
434
00:18:11,875 --> 00:18:14,000
I feel really lucky
to have a husband
435
00:18:14,083 --> 00:18:16,625
who's as crazy for me now
as the day we met.
436
00:18:20,542 --> 00:18:23,333
Do you have to go to work?
Should we run upstairs?
437
00:18:23,417 --> 00:18:25,083
Well, it's Valentine's Day,
438
00:18:25,166 --> 00:18:27,458
so why don't you open
your present first?
439
00:18:28,333 --> 00:18:29,333
Oh.
440
00:18:34,959 --> 00:18:37,166
Are these your last six coupons?
441
00:18:37,333 --> 00:18:38,625
Yep!
442
00:18:38,709 --> 00:18:40,333
And what did I say you'd say?
443
00:18:40,417 --> 00:18:42,834
This is the greatest gift
I've ever gotten.
444
00:18:44,792 --> 00:18:47,125
Are all of them in here,
for sure?
445
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:48,709
Yeah.
446
00:18:48,792 --> 00:18:49,875
What?
447
00:18:49,959 --> 00:18:51,792
Oh, yes, they are.
448
00:18:53,709 --> 00:18:54,709
Hey.
449
00:18:54,792 --> 00:18:55,792
Hey, man.
450
00:18:57,792 --> 00:18:59,959
I brought some beers if you want
to wash down that chicken.
451
00:19:00,041 --> 00:19:01,500
Oh, thanks, man, but...
452
00:19:02,208 --> 00:19:04,166
I already washed it down
after I dropped it
453
00:19:04,250 --> 00:19:06,166
climbing up the ladder.
You want a wing?
454
00:19:06,250 --> 00:19:07,458
No, I'll pass.
455
00:19:12,917 --> 00:19:13,917
Ah.
456
00:19:14,917 --> 00:19:16,250
You know,
there's not a lot of guys
457
00:19:16,333 --> 00:19:17,625
that could watch
one of their best friends
458
00:19:17,709 --> 00:19:20,417
marry their ex-wife
and be so cool about it.
459
00:19:21,542 --> 00:19:22,917
Yeah, I guess.
460
00:19:24,125 --> 00:19:25,500
Why are you saying this now?
461
00:19:25,959 --> 00:19:28,125
I just realized,
I never thanked you for it.
462
00:19:29,542 --> 00:19:30,834
Thanks.
463
00:19:30,917 --> 00:19:31,917
You're welcome.
464
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,417
Jules still can't sleep.
465
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,000
Hmm.
466
00:19:38,917 --> 00:19:40,667
Wish there was something in here
that could help.
467
00:19:41,166 --> 00:19:42,625
Turn to the last page.
468
00:19:43,458 --> 00:19:45,041
This may sound like a fairy tale,
469
00:19:45,709 --> 00:19:48,667
But with Jules,
when all else fails...
470
00:19:50,041 --> 00:19:52,083
You can fix almost anything
With a good kiss.
471
00:19:53,417 --> 00:19:54,500
Still can't sleep, babe?
472
00:19:54,583 --> 00:19:55,583
No.
473
00:19:56,834 --> 00:19:58,500
I know it's stupid,
but the whole thing
474
00:19:58,583 --> 00:20:00,667
is starting to make me
feel sad, you know?
475
00:20:20,959 --> 00:20:22,333
Happy Valentine's day.
476
00:20:45,792 --> 00:20:47,542
{\an8}That is what I want you
to do to me.
477
00:20:48,542 --> 00:20:50,083
{\an8}Don't screw it up.
478
00:20:52,291 --> 00:20:53,291
{\an8}All right.
479
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,000
{\an8}Let's go.
33818
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