Original subtitles

No, no, no.

Oh,

that's

it. That's it.

I thought I had it until I heard your mother's voice and she broke my

concentration.

You know, I think we should do what we talked about and bring in a surrogate.

Oh, no, Mike. I couldn't do that.

That isn't that important to me.

Anyway, Dr. Zunk says that you can be cured. All you need is a vein transplant

operation.

I'll just get a vibrator until then.

Dr. Zunk's been talking about that operation for months.

But until a donor comes along, that's all it is, is just talk.

No, Mary, it's no use. I think I'm going to find somebody who can do the job

that I can.

Someone of a high caliber.

I'd rather see you make love to a human being than to a couple of B -cells.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Come on, get into the wheel.

Sorry, Merle.

I guess I've just been waiting too many years for you to get the hot for me.

The fire went out somewhere along the way. You ought to consider yourself damn

lucky. You're a real man.

Some women in this community are not so lucky. I mean, take Mary quick.

What do you mean?

I mean, being mayor has some advantages. You know, the new sex therapist at the

hospital who locked his trunk. He's trying to get...

City money for a new wig.

And, uh, he's got a fox chance at a hurricane of that, however.

I'll tell you that.

Anyway, I had a look at some of the records, and apparently, uh, Mike Flagus

cannot get it on.

And he just can't get it on.

Uh, he's got some kind of a black spade. I don't know what it is. Anyway, how

about a little bit more fucking, a little less talking, huh? I mean, what

you, some kind of dyke or something?

What if that's why you have to leave New Jersey?

Does this mean that Mary is not getting any sex?

Pardon me. Pardon me.

I was just wondering. I saw you coming out of the sperm bank there.

I was wondering, are you a doctor or a donor?

Well, I really don't think it's any of your business, but... You got nothing to

hide. Yes, I'm a donor.

In fact, I just gave three times.

Three times? Wow.

Listen, I have a sister,

and she doesn't know anybody in town yet. And I was just wondering if I felt

like you might want to come by tomorrow and get to know her a little bit.

I think I catch your drift.

I'll tell you right now, I charge double for house calls.

I'll tell you what.

Here's my number.

Okay, my address.

Come by tomorrow at noon time.

At noon, huh? Yeah.

Let's see what we can do, okay?

Sure thing. Okay, thank you.

Mary, it's done.

I found the guy.

And that's final.

A little for God's sakes.

Yes, ma 'am.

I don't know.

Well, get into it.

What are you?

Merle, you're breaking my back.

Merle, I am not an acrobat. I am a housewife.

I know you. You just gotta let yourself go!

Come on!

Now tell me, really.

Mo! Come on!

Come on. Mo!

Get up on your knees. I'll say it in the street.

This you're going to like.

Yeah.

How's that? Huh? Damn it!

what the mayor this time was really like.

Can you just shut up for one minute and just get into it, huh? I mean, just let

it happen.

Huh?

Really.

Well, okay, get into it. I love it.

That feels good, honey. Come on, tell me, yeah?

Doesn't it?

Kate,

I swear to God, I don't know how you don't manage to enjoy my beautiful body,

but I wish you'd just let it happen, honey.

Mom?

Mom, it would have felt a lot better five years ago.

to use them for violence.

I've got to get down to the office.

I've got to go over appropriations.

There's too many dying people in this town. I think Fernwood's just another

truck.

There is no rest

for the servants of the people.

Have a nice day, Merle.

of sugar.

You may eat my ice cream.

I'm out.

You just stay in the bedroom,

Mary. I'll get it. You just relax.

Come in.

What happened to you?

You look so different yesterday.

Well, this isn't me. This is my style.

I can't do crap just when I'm working at the crime bank.

Where did the chicken go this time?

I think it's in the bedroom, right?

Well, that's all good and well, but it's very obvious to me, Mr. Mayor, that you

think sex research is unnecessary of appropriation here in Fernand.

But I assure you, it's as valid and necessary a study as any other form of

medicine.

If a sexual problem arose for you... Sex problem?

Me? I have never had... Dr.

Zonk, I have never had any kind of a... I mean, I'm always ready.

Wouldn't you want to take care of it and find treatment here in town?

I refuse.

I refuse to carry on this smutty conversation.

Philistine, don't they know what I'm trying to do? Don't they understand?

Felix.

How's your little problem?

Not bad.

Been to any gay bars lately since your treatment?

None. Well, I only had sex for a little while.

Didn't stay that long.

Went home with somebody.

Come here.

I'm trying to straighten me out, straighten me out.

Yeah, but it's not the way it is.

Men are for women. Women are for men. You have to understand this.

You've got to.

So, Doc, is my medical insurance going to cover this kind of treatment?

I assure you I'll write up the right paper.

There's nothing for you to worry about.

You know, it's just I didn't see it on our medical plan.

Who's worried about a medical plan now? I'm worried about it straightening you

out.

But I can't afford the bills on it.

Why don't we make this one on the house?

On the house?

Really be good to you, Doc.

Hope you can get me straightened out. Well, if the treatment is a success, it

would be worth it all.

You're going to have me doing a whole bunch of private duties for you, instead

of for all the patients.

Read any good books lately?

That's it, bitch. I came here to do a job. I'm going to do it.

You better watch it. My husband is just in the other room.

Your husband?

He said it was your brother.

Since I don't have to worry about the treatment, I guess I can really get into

this treatment, Doc.

As a matter of fact, this thing's going to be a mutual treatment station.

The light's on on your phone.

Do you want me to get it?

I'm not busy.

Yeah, now, now, she can't come to the phone right now. She's in the middle of

conference.

I'll take your message and put it back to you later, all right?

I've had some housekeeping anyway.

I'll be sure to tell getting wet.

Oh, Doc.

Thanks for keeping me out of those boards yet.

Doc, you okay?

You look like you're coming apart.

Well, maybe I am doing something right.

Oh, God.

You've got another medical miracle on your hand. Or in your mouth.

So nice.

Doctor, I forgot to tell you, the patient in 406, he expired about an hour

What? You mean young Digby?

Yes. We've been waiting for this for weeks. Why didn't you tell me before?

Set up the warrant once. Was he a donor?

Does that matter? Is it up to you? It's not up to you.

But a grand piano fell on top of him and crushed the entire top half of his

body. What's left?

It shouldn't be important to you. I want you to go set up the warrant.

All right. I just can't believe it. Why didn't you tell me? I came in to tell

you, and you started right in on my treatment.

Oh, excuses, excuses.

Oh, you didn't give me a chance to tell you anything.

I have no time to go to OR right now. I have no time to listen. All right, I'll

get it ready right now. Out.

Yes, Dr. Jones.

Right now?

Oh, I don't know.

What's the matter with you?

You sound strange.

Can't you understand we have a vein transplant that's ready right now?

no time to lose. We've got to do it right away.

All right, then. I'll come right over.

You can't.

to do this.

I mean, you know, if I, uh... I want to just kind of...

Let me go to the professional here. Come on.

I don't know what I want.

That's better.

That's better.

Just... Push a little more. Use your hips more.

Push. Push. I want to get my money's worth out of

this.

That's better. That's better.

More. Use your hands.

That's better.

Squeeze. Oh, yeah.

That's better.

That's better. That's better.

More.

You know what?

I want to try it the other way now.

What?

No.

What's going on?

What are you, freak the camera or something?

You have to do what I tell you to do because my husband's paying it. Come on.

Mmm. Mmm,

that's good.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Keep dragging off at the front, Hank.

You don't make any difference to me.

Oh, oh.

Yeah.

Yes, you do.

More. Look at that, huh? More.

Come on.

Good.

How cool.

You like that, huh?

I mean, uh, business like this?

This has really been a great break for me. I mean, you really let me into a lot

of inside things I've been missing out on.

I'll see to it that you get a check.

And I'll be happy to recommend you to any of my friends who might need a human

dildo.

Crazy lady.

My dearest Mary, my time for the operation has at last arrived.

I didn't want to bother you as you seem to be receiving the satisfaction

you so richly deserve.

If anything should go wrong, my life insurance policy is in the hall

closet next to my house.

Don't worry.

Love, Michael.

He's on the sedation right now, and you can't see him. The operation isn't for

hours, so you might as well just go home. I've got to return to my patients.

Mary, I just had to be with you in your time of trial.

This is my friend Sophia. She's having a good time with you in the afternoon.

How did you find that multiple?

Oh, well, no. It's just everything that goes on in Vermont.

Now, it's no use your sitting here and worrying yourself sick. You're coming

right over to my house with us.

Now, come right in here, Mary.

Give me your coat.

Let me take you down to here.

Now, Mary, you just sit right down here. I'll be right back. Sophia's going to

entertain you.

Do you live in town

I've

never seen you around before

Wouldn't you like a cup of coffee?

It's a nice house, Kate has.

I'm really worried about...

My husband, Mike, he's in the hospital for a

transplant.

It's a very delicate operation.

I don't know how he's going to look out.

I'm really anxious for him to get back home.

I really just wanted to come back.

We should be happy together and live together with Heather and mother and dad

and everything should be alright.

We decided to liberate you Mary.

When you are through today, you will never again be dependent on the whim

of some man to relieve your tension.

I think it's time we helped Mary.

Sophia, come on.

We can do that later.

Oh Mary dear, stand up a little.

Come right over here.

Now, you sit right down here, Mary.

Sophia, sit on that side of her.

Now, are you ready, Sophia?

All right.

Now... Clamp it, Phyllis. We've got a bleeder here.

Can I just hold it, Doctor?

Now, you know this is an operation, a very delicate operation.

Hand me the clamp. I'll hold it. It won't bleed.

All right, just clamp.

It seems we've got the bleeding stable now, so I think it's time for the vein.

I'll get the vein, doctor.

This is the big moment, you know.

It's twice the size of the other one.

At least.

How are we going to fit it in?

I think we'll just have to cram it in to here. Oh, yes, I'll just cram it in

there.

Oh, there's not much room in there.

We're going to end up attaching it to his tonsils. I don't know.

I'm not sure if it's going to happen.

We've got it.

We've got it.

All the way in?

Yes.

You've got to check to make sure the blood flow is correct.

I know.

Would you like to check the respirator for a moment?

I've got it under control here.

I think anesthesia is taking care of that.

Okay. Aren't you ready to close on that now?

Yeah. You want to tie it up?

Yeah, I'll close it if you want.

All right. Sit me down. You set?

Got straps on?

Yes, I do.

Done up?

All done up.

All right, then I think we're just about ready.

Come on. All right, Sophia, I gave you the big one this time, but that means

you've got to be on the bottom.

Now, Mary, here.

Put one leg over there and one leg here.

That's right.

What did you say, Mary?

All right. Sophia, are you ready?

Ready. Ready for penetration?

All right, now.

Uh, for you, Mary.

Don't you worry about me.

This is going to be the experience of your life.

Believe me, nothing you have ever felt.

Good.

It feels good to be here.

I'm losing my grasp on reality.

Oh, yes, can I see Mike now?

The psychiatrist says I'm much better.

It was just a little nervous breakdown that I had, and I would be going, can I

see him now?

Mama said not just yet. He's resting, and you are, and the doctor's here.

Can't you take me here tomorrow?

I'm fine. I'll see you tomorrow.

Well, how are you feeling after your x -rays?

Okay, doctor.

Oh, I'm glad to hear that. Has there been any pain?

No.

Good. Doctor!

Doctor, does this mean that... Calm down. Calm down. There's no need to get

excited. It's too early to tell yet. We'll find out when the bandages come

You know?

Don't worry.

Okay. Have you had bowel movements?

I mean, was there constipation?

No, doctor.

Good. Have you felt feverish? No.

Good. I have a surprise to tell you now.

We're going to take off the bandages today.

Oh.

Let me find my scissors.

Here they are.

Are you ready for the big moment yet?

Great.

That's it. That's it, doctor.

We have to see if it functions.

It seems all right so far.

Then there's another test.

You ready?

No doctor,

I know it's working, I know it's working.

Doctor, I know it's worth it.

Feel it.

Oh, doctor.

I know it's worth it.

Oh,

doctor.

Oh, yeah.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Ah.

Ah.

Thank you.

Oh my god!

Oh. Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Thank you.

Doctor, I want to go home and see Mary right now.

Well, you should stay a little bit more. Oh, no.

Well,

all right.

You can get dressed and I'll make arrangements for you and Mary.

Then you're home.

But I still think you should stay a couple days.

Hello?

Coming home today?

Oh, thank you, doctor. Thank you.

Yes, what?

The important thing is to make him feel absolutely comfortable.

Don't treat him strangely.

Yes,

doctor.

Thank you again, doctor. Thank you.

Bye.

I just spoke to Mary, and she raised it for me. You can go home today.

You know, Doctor, it's been a long time since I've had a heart on, but is this

normal?

Well, it's nothing to worry about. It's just swelling from the bandages.

It should be over in about a week. I mean, I can't even get my pants zipped

It's nothing to worry about. We just need a small little suture operation.

Felix, get the suture material.

Get the suture material, Felix. All right, Doctor.

Nothing to worry about. Just a simple operation. I hope so, doctor. I hope so.

This is terrible.

It's really nothing to worry about. Simple, very simple operation.

Okay.

Okay.

Hand me the thread.

Suture.

Clamp.

Want me to cut for you, Doctor?

No, I'll do it, and you can just do the end.

I'll let you finish stitching it.

Oh, Doctor, this is... Good.

Finished. I mean, how do you expect me to walk out on the street? There's

nothing to worry about. Really, it isn't. It'll only take a week for it to

away. Okay.

There's nothing to worry about.

I'll see you in a week. The swelling will be gone.

I was there.

She held back.