All language subtitles for 12acddfasfewrw

Sometimes the world looks perfect,
nothing to rearrange.

Sometimes you just get a feeling like
you need some kind of change.

No matter what the odds are this time,
nothing's gonna stand in my way. It's

playing in my heart like a long lost
friend.

Give every dark spade a light at the
end.

you stand in tow -

I have great news.

What is all this?

Kostin, you know it's Mama's birthday
soon, and they want to get her really

special birthday present this year, so I
had to get a part -time job.

I'm a bear stuffer.

And this is my bear stuffing jamboree.

That's great.

Well, it's better than great. It's fun,
it's wacky, and it's not as easy as it

looks. You have to pay attention.

Every second. For instance, one of these
bears has half of my Snickers bar in

it.

Belty. Yes, yes, it's hard work, but
it's worth it knowing that I'm bringing

to little children.

All right, Belty, forget about bringing
joy to little children.

I have got a part -time job that is
going to make us rich.

This afternoon, I interviewed L.

Bob Frederick, president and CEO of
Clean for Life.

Get out of the city. I know who's El Bob
Frederick.

He was on the cover of Cheez Whiz
magazine.

Not Cheez Whiz magazine.

Biz Whiz magazine.

Balky, El Bob Frederick told me that he
finally found in me A salesman who could

sell their clean -for -life home hygiene
system. You're not going to believe

this stuff, Falke. This is a miracle.

You guys are going to have to stop
yourselves for a while.

Here it is.

This stuff puts the lean in clean.

It puts the spark...

In sparkle.

Does it put the hiney in shiny?

Yes, it does.

Cotton, this miracle looks an awful lot
like a bottle of soap.

Malky, you have no vision.

Well, I did have pink eye once, but I...
I think it's all cleared up.

Malky, when you look at this bottle of
soap, You see a bottle of soap.

That is correct.

When I look at this bottle of soap, I
see cars, yachts, houses.

And bigger.

Because it's you.

Give me that.

Belkin, this miracle product, combined
with this marvel of technology, the

OmniSweep, will revolutionize the way we
think of dirt.

You know, when I think of dirt, I think
of the floor in Mama's kitchen.

Hard -packed, and you can eat an omelet
off it.

But let's get back to your incredible
vision. Can you tell me which of those

bears has my sneakers in it?

Belky, your bear -stuffing days are
over. I'm not going to ride the Queen

Life gravy train without you.

You mean we're going to be partners?

Well, 60 -40, but partners, sure.

Oh, Cousin, you are too kind. You take
the 60. If it'll make you happy.

All right, now, before we start making
huge sums of money, we've got to go over

the finer points of selling.

Sure, Cothen, what would you like to
know?

Belky, belky, belky.

See, I already know everything there is
to know about selling.

I stayed up all night reading the Clean
for Life handbook.

Knock, knock, I'm there.

A Guide to Door -to -Door Selling by L.
Bob Frederick.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You are not ready for the book.

I want to read the book.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

If it were up to me, I would let you see
the book.

But L. Bob gave explicit instructions
not to let you see the book.

He said that it contains mind -control
information, which, in the wrong hands,

could be dangerous.

I will tell you everything you need to
know about selling. Now, there are two

basic rules to selling.

Get your foot in the door and get the
money, get the money, get the money.

Well, that seems to me to be four rules.

However... I'm not allowed to read the
book? Oh, no.

Oh, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no. Belky, you don't need to
read the book.

L. Bob said that everything you need to
know about selling is printed on this

little card.

L. Bob actually said that I was allowed
to read the card?

Yes, he did.

Did he actually use my name? Yes.

He said, Belky.

should read this card.

Now, it would be helpful if we did a
little practice run.

Good.

Now, you pretend to be the salesman. I
will pretend to be the customer.

Because when you were talking to Al Bob,
how did my name come up? I mean...

Get outside.

I interest you in a revolutionary way to
clean your home?

No. Okay, bye.

Where are you going?

Well, I'm going back to bear stuffing. I
think it's... Come back inside. Come

back inside. Okay. I see the problem. I
see the problem. Okay.

Listen. Sit down.

See?

When I said no, you thought I meant no.

Yes. No.

You see, to a good salesman, no means
yes.

You understand?

Yes and no.

When you say no... Yes.

Do you mean yes? No.

But then why... But when you say no, you
don't mean yes?

No. I mean no.

No, see, when a customer says no, they
mean yes. When I say no, I mean no.

Let me try to put this together.

When you're being the customer, no means
yes. Yes.

When you're being Costin Larry, no means
no.

Yes.

When you look at a bottle of soap,
you... See a yacht.

Yes.

Okay, Balky, I think this little
outburst proves that you are not ready

the book.

I'm fine. I think maybe by the time we
go once around the neighborhood, I'll

have the hang of this door -to -door
selling.

Balky, we are not going to go once
around the neighborhood.

No? No.

And I mean no.

Balki, in this neighborhood, we could go
to a thousand doors and make one sale.

A good salesman goes to one door and
makes a thousand sales.

We are going to sell this product to
Lenora Dumont.

Lenora Dumont?

Lenora Dumont?

Yes. Never heard of her.

Well, I have. I interviewed her last
month. She owns the Dumont chain of

Balki? We are going to make her the
queen of clean.

We are about to make salesman history.
Are you with me?

No. No.

Balky, get in here.

This is not fun and games.

Whatever you say, Kimo Sabe.

All right. Now, when Mrs. Dumont gets
here, let me do all the talking. You

remember rule number two.

Get the money, get the money, get the
money.

Wouldn't I still think that rules two
through four?

Maybe it's explained in the book.

However, I'm not allowed to see the
book. Oh, no, no, oh, no, no.

Good afternoon.

Good afternoon, Mrs. Dumont. You're
looking well.

Thank you. Who are you?

Larry Appleton from the Chronicle,
remember?

I interviewed you last month.

Four columns.

A nice picture?

We had lunch on your terrace. Cold
salmon, asparagus with dill sauce.

And you showed me pictures of little
Malcolm and Cecily?

Yeah.

Of course, that laddy spilled gazpacho
on your lap.

Now I remember.

I'm terribly sorry.

Did you get my flowers? Yes, I gave them
to the maid.

As I recall, you wrote a very nice
article about my art collection.

Well, thank you.

So I suppose you're here to do a follow
-up piece.

Are you interested in my Monet?

Yes, we're here to get the Monet, get
the Monet, get the Monet.

This is my associate, Balki Bartokomus.

You'll have to excuse him.

He's from a very small island with a
defective gene pool.

Well, the real story is the portrait I'm
having painted by Rinaldo Ricardo.

Did you hear that, Balky?

Rinaldo Ricardo.

Rinaldo Ricardo. I love him.

Why would he never let Lucy in his show?

what was the basis of his friendship
with Fred. They had absolutely nothing

common.

Rinaldo Ricardo is a world -famous
artist. He's painted all the members of

royal family.

And when he finishes with this one, it
will hang in the portrait gallery of the

Chicago Art Institute.

What a beautiful painting.

Oh. Of course, this guy is really good.

You can't even see any of the numbers.

Mrs.

Dumont, we are not here about the
painting. We are here to sell you a

product. I beg your pardon.

Hello, busy homemaker.

We are here to make your house -cleaning
chores a joy and a pleasure.

May we come in?

Get foot in door.

I'm telling El Bob.

Hi.

We represent the Clean for Life home
hygiene system. We have over 200

of cleaners and spot and stain removers.
Balky?

Hello, busy homemaker.

We're here to make your house cleaning
chores a joy. Give me the bottle.

It's as simple as shake and shine.

I'm sure with three hotels, you use a
lot of cleaning products.

You'll have to excuse me. I don't have
time for any of this. Please leave my

house. Wait, wait, wait. You don't want
to buy anything?

No.

No! Did you hear that, cousin?

Oh, boy, this is great!

This no -means -yes stuff is really
starting to make sense to me. When do we

our money? Get our money! Get our money!

Mrs.

Dumont, if you would...

Just give us a moment to show you some
of... The maid will clean it up.

Don't be here when I get back.

Let's get out of here. Cousin, no. We
made this mess. We got to clean it up.

Balki, that's a brilliant idea.

Well, cousin, I can't take all the
credit.

You yourself said we were going to clean
up in here.

No, Balki, I mean... This is a golden
opportunity to show Mrs. Dumont exactly

what the clean -for -life system is all
about.

When she gets back, we'll have this
place spotless. Bring me the Omni

I think this calls for solvent number
nine.

Falke, this will be as simple as shake
and shine. I don't have time. I don't

have time for this. I really don't have
time for this. I met with L. Bob

Frederick.

I read the book.

I know what I'm doing.

Fine.

I suppose you were going to tell me to
tighten the cap. Yes.

But perhaps that wasn't covered in the
book.

Oh, God.

I hope we didn't hurt it.

Now, Kostin, look, don't fly off your
love handles.

Kostin, the wall is fine.

Lucky for us, the Ricardo painting was
in the way.

I hope we didn't ruin the painting. Just
help me take this off.

That was close.

All right, I'll just clean up the carpet
and then we're out of here.

Boy, Mrs. Dumont must have had this
little mole removed after the painting

done. What mole?

That mole right over here.

Belkin, that's not a mole.

It's a spot of cleaning fluid.

Don't panic!

All right, all right, Belkin.

Okay, okay, okay, all right, all right.
I'll just carefully remove...

A little speck of cleaning fluid.

Oh, God.

I took off the end of her nose.

Well, if you ask me, Corson, it looks a
whole lot better.

We gotta fix it!

Causing, causing, causing, causing
articulated cartilage.

Okay.

Get in there with some highlights.

Some highlights.

Some highlights.

And some, some, some shadow.

Some shadow.

What do you think? It stinks.

All right. Here, here, I'll just dodge
it.

God, I made it worse.

All right, what are we going to do? What
are we going to do? What are we going

to do?

Listen to me, listen to me, listen to
me.

I can paint, right?

Yes, you can.

I can fix this, right?

Yes, you can.

I can save us, right? Oh, thank you,
thank you, thank you.

Can I read the book?

Can you get me an autographed copy? You
just shut up and fix the painting!

All right, now, first things first.

Now, what did she look like?

it just hold it stand down please stand
down please and uh give me a little

smile give me a little smile just hold
that

Did your mama get the birthday present
you sent her? Yes, she did.

She loves her clean -for -life products.

She has the cleanest mud hut on the
island.

Well, we better get going.

We don't want to be late for Mrs.
Dumont's party.

She really was very understanding,
wasn't she? Oh, yes, she was.

Hope tonight's party don't go too late.

Look at the bright side.

Only another six months of parking cars.

And we'll have paid off the carpet and
the painting.