Original subtitles

Hello. Picked up the mail.

Oh, great.

This is for my kid brother.

Don't you know you're supposed to tip the postman for special delivery?

There, give it to me. No. I've got to talk to him. No. Give it to me. No.

No. Here you go.

Look at me.

Oh, I love you.

oh oh

Thank you.

Thank you so much

I love you.

Thank you.

Aren't you going to read your letter?

Letter? Oh, the letter. Yeah?

Yeah.

Dear

Thith,

I really feel embarrassed writing this letter.

But you were always the only one I could really talk to.

And I need some advice.

Here I am, almost 19, and I can't get laid.

I don't mean I can't. Girls like me, I guess.

I don't know how.

Every time I try, something goes wrong.

I can't get my shoes off.

I can't get her bra off. I can't get it up. Something always gets fucked.

Except me.

Like this last time.

Boy, that was the pits.

I mean, I knew I could get her. She almost raped me.

She went down on me and everything.

It was graying until she sat on my face.

She was so heavy, I couldn't breathe.

It's like passed out.

I don't know what you can do, sis, but I really need some help.

Maybe you can send me a book or something.

Anyway, I guess that's all.

I hope you're okay.

Love, Jamie.

Poor kid.

What can we do?

Send him a hooker for his birthday.

Oh, come on.

I'll see you later. I've got to go to work.

Bye. Bye -bye.

Boy,

I'd love to get a letter like that.

The only time I hear from my brother is when he needs some money.

Hmm, wish it was that easy.

How do you get a kid laid?

Is he cute?

Sure, he's my brother.

In that case, I'll be glad to help you out.

Great.

I'll show him how to do this.

And this.

Ooh.

This.

After all, I do know how to turn on a lady.

Ain't it the truth?

Thank you.

review.

Thank you for listening.

Oh. Oh.

Oh, that was so nice.

You've inspired me. I just figured out what we can do for your kid brother.

Tell me.

Tell me.

We'll have a party up at the cabin.

Your place?

Sure. We'll surround him with so many ladies, he won't be able to miss.

Oh, every time I come up here so beautiful, I just don't want to leave. I

what you mean.

If the mountain air doesn't turn your brother on, nothing will.

Yeah, well, you don't know my brother.

Home sweet home.

I'll go start a fire.

Mine are amazing.

Oh, yeah.

They're so sweet.

My little Katie.

Oh, champagne.

All right.

Here. Here we go.

Oh, I get it. We do, we are.

Okay, here we go.

What a dud.

I might as well fill these up.

Thank you.

Okay.

Oh boy.

She does.

That's original.

We should have something to eat with it.

Wow. A few things.

Like him.

That sounds like a real dead end.

You may do what you want, but not just one.

You may do what you want, but not just one.

You may do what you want, but not just one.

Thank you.

Thank you.

company. Jamie?

Hi, sis.

Bye, sis.

Oh, stop that.

Seen a naked girl before?

This is Katie.

She's my best friend.

You're right.

Cute. Cute. Down girl. He just got here. Hi, I'm Jim.

Yeah, super. Hi, Jim.

You fellas have a drink and we're going to go take a shower, all right?

But I don't drink.

You may as well start now.

There's a party here tonight, and you're the guest of honor.

I'd like you all to meet my kid brother, Jamie.

This is his coming out party, because he's still a virgin.

But not for long.

Okay, Jamie, this is it. I'm going to get you laid.

Okay,

Jamie, we're going to get your little ass all laid.

You're going to rub on it, and you're going to feel real good.

on the goddamn piano.

I'll just get you ready here.

There's some girls here. They're going to do it. That'll fix you right up.

make you feel like you never felt good.

You elected.

You don't have to do it, too.

Get that boy in his lane here.

Okay, Caddy. Go for it.

All right.

film here.

Deepflowers. Virtual.

Make this a special cover of Time Magazine.

Great. A little picture there.

Here you go. All right, come on, Jenny, get to it. I mean, you know, one for Joe

Green. Get out of here.

All right.

Let's just have him.

All right, get a little pat in here for Zach.

Let him show her how.

Yeah. All right.

Yeah. Okay.

Okay, get him going there.

Looks good. Turn his hair gray. Let's see him get some age.

Come on, Jenny.

All right, Jamie.

We never had, but... Yeah.

Thanks to the other people.

Oh, my.

Oh. Oh.

I did it! Yay!

Way to go, Wally! All right! Yeah!

That's it!

Well done.

I don't have a job anymore!

Yay!

Happy New Year!

Dear sis, I just wanted to thank you for that great weekend up at the cabin.

Everything has really changed in my life since then.

The only problem is, well...

I'm having a lot of trouble doing my homework now.

And all these people keep calling me stud.

Bye -bye.

Oh yeah, by the way, tell your friend that I won't be able to meet her this

weekend at the cabin.

But maybe the weekend after finals, we can get it together.

Love, James.