Original subtitles

Hello. Yes?

Good afternoon, my name is Marju and I'm calling from Swedbank

regarding a suspicious transaction on your account.

What suspicious transaction?

Looks like a bigger-than-usual payment

was made from your account to a dog shelter.

To a dog shelter?

And what was the amount?

2.500 Euros.

2.500 Euros!

Well, you see, I've never even had a dog.

And to be honest, I don't even like dogs.

So I would never donate to a dog shelter.

Well, thank you very much.

We suspect that this is a scam.

Such scams are really common these days.

So, what do we do now?

First thing is to block your bank card.

We can sort that out over the phone.

Do you have your card on hand?

Yes, I do.

Is it a Mastercard or Visa?

It's a... Mastercard.

Let's confirm your card number.

It starts with 516904, right?

Yes, that's correct.

Can you read me the rest of the numbers, please?

2001

And the expiry date on the card?

And now the three-digit number from the back?

Great, Mobile-ID.

Alright, thanks. That matches.

To close the card, I need to verify your identity.

Are you using Mobile-ID?

Let's go!

Yes, PIN2.

And now PIN2, please.

LOAN AMOUNT

PAYDAY LOAN 5.000 EUR APPROVED

NEW MONEY

Thank you, sir.

Alright, back to work!

The suit feels kind of weird. No one grills in a suit.

Let it be.

Normally it's a hoodie or something.

- You're a businessman. - I'm not a businessman.

In the picture you are. Look here. Very good, look again.

The jacket, did you pull it from your grandpa's closet?

- What? - Let's take it off.

It's not a businessman's jacket.

Your wife posed better, but okay.

Hey, take the tie off.

And undo the top button.

You've got to have that baker's look.

You baked millions.

Very good. A bit more cheerful.

Now look at the meat.

Nice meat, look.

Turn the meat.

- What? - Turn the meat!

This grill is funny.

Another rich guy had one with an LED display.

How has becoming rich changed you as a person?

I wouldn't say we've really changed much.

Yeah, we're pretty much the same.

I still work at school and...

Liisa, how do the other teachers at school feel

about their colleague becoming a millionaire?

Any sense of awe?

Haven't noticed any.

Why would there be?

I'm still the same person.

Looking around in this beautiful home of yours.

You don't see any excessive luxury.

Where are golden toilet bowls?

Where are the maids?

- You've got 80 million. - 50.

50 million is a huge amount of money.

Well, most of it's tied up in crypto.

50 million is still a lot.

Look here.

Very good.

How do you plan to spend it?

Well, we don't really plan to spend it.

You're investing?

That's smart.

But readers are curious...

Are there going to be yachts? Villas in Marbella?

No, nothing like that.

Our dream was to have our very own home.

Is there a little one on the way?

Yeah, or...

I mean...

We've tried.

Well, not really tried but... I mean.

You don't have to include that part.

Yeah, of course.

They've smoothed out all the wrinkles.

Even bags under the eyes are gone. You look like a doll.

That Ervin really is the best in Estonia.

You are also absolutely gorgeous.

I'm gorgeous even with wrinkles.

Yeah, that's not what I meant.

Still, not sure if this was a good idea.

Like being naked.

We didn't do this for us.

I said "no" at first.

But the journalist said:

It's gonna be an inspiring story.

Your contribution to youth financial education.

We can be a role model for smart money habits.

And she also said that:

It's so lame what some outlets do.

I'll send everything to you to review.

If there's anything you'd like to take out we'll take it out, no question.

And between us.

You're so charming, fresh new faces.

I enjoyed listening to you.

And also between us.

If I enjoy it, the reader will too.

Don't worry, the article will be here shortly.

We'll review it and make sure it's fine.

This is not okay.

You said you'd send us the whole article to review.

No one sent us this headline.

Headlines are written by the editor.

I'm really sorry. I'll have it changed online.

It doesn't matter if you change it online.

That tabloid of yours is everywhere already.

Liisa, today at school:

Teacher, teacher, I have a question.

Yes, Robert, go ahead.

Will I become a millionaire too if I buy Bitcoin?

Teacher, teacher, what about me?

Yeah, me too!

Quiet, please!

"Check out that guy's face."

"And the chick's an absolute zero."

"They should edit the photos

so her thighs wouldn't look so fat."

"But the waist looks pretty okay."

Who writes stuff like that?

- Anon165... - This is not okay.

Chill, it's just some random anonymous

Seriously, my face can be ugly or whatever

but the fact that they allow to post such crap about you is insane.

Chill. I know who I am.

Where's my phone? I'm calling the editor-in-chief.

- Where is it? - Doesn't matter.

- Give it to me! - No.

You know what?

I was reading a magazine with beautiful photos.

And I quote.

"Is there a little one on the way?"

And the answer was... "Yes!"

"We've been trying for a really long time."

Well, not "long time."

Anyway, I was thinking.

Maybe we should try some more?

- How does it work? - Well, you just try.

- I am trying. - Try harder. Better!

How can I do it better? I don't know how.

You know what I'm like.

Yeah.

What kind of advice?

We're a start-up and we make electric bikes.

I read in the magazine that you like cycling.

We're raising three million and we thought...

- You want money? - Yes, in addition to advice.

I don't invest in start-ups. Actually I don't invest at all.

But thanks for the call.

Your interview in a magazine was very interesting.

I'd like to invite you to my financial podcast.

To educate young people about finances.

Mr. Taavi, let me ask you a question:

How would you feel if I told that we are prepared to offer you a 15% discount

on our standard rate for any private aircraft purchase above 10 million...

I'm not interested in buying any planes today so...

Mr. Taavi, I know exactly how you feel. In fact, I would feel...

Wait, let me get this straight.

When I called your bank to ask for a home loan

you told me to call again in four years.

And now you're inviting me... where?

To become a VIP private banking client.

Wasn't I on some kind of blacklist of yours?

No, our colleague made a mistake back then.

I mean ex-colleague. He's not with us anymore.

Well, I don't have time right now. Call back later.

Excellent. When is a good time?

In four years.

What was the point of this "Rolling in Dough" article?

"Most of the money is still in crypto because..."

What is this?

I can't help you if you're sinking both of us.

Sorry, it was an accident.

I'll be more careful from now on.

Did you get the hardware ledger?

Yeah, well... I ordered it on Amazon.

You should've had it before talking to the press.

And Amazon? I told you to order from the official site.

If you get it off Amazon, someone could've messed with it.

Hello?

- Hello? - Okay, here's the deal.

Forget about micro-banks and credit unions.

We're out of time.

Swiss take 15%, plus my 5% fee.

With them, most coins go to fiat in a week.

- Green light? - Yeah.

Great, I'll get to work.

One more thing. I said "yes" to a podcast tomorrow.

What should I do?

What can I say? Go on, burn it all.

Whatever you do, don't share any new info, okay?

Yes, I promise.

Yeah, I'll fill those out as soon as I get home.

But why can't you send out a patrol?

I saw the guy. Young male, dressed in black.

Where were you?

- I had my... - We'll be late.

To where?

Oh, that's today? I'll take a shower.

Be quick, we've got to buy a gift too.

Alina, great job today.

You know, I was thinking...

Would you like to go celebrate?

Maybe eat out?

Here works too.

- We? - Yes.

- No, I've got other plans tonight. - Ah, okay.

How about tomorrow?

I'd like to have my money now.

I brought in a pretty big deal.

Well, I did the heavy lifting.

Look Alina, I have rent to pay.

Everyone's salaries and zero-days.

If you bring in a millionaire, then we'll talk.

Sorry mom, I couldn't talk. I was at work.

We provide financial services.

Through Einar.

No-no, he's not my boyfriend.

Just a guy. We met at a club.

Yeah, mom, it's just temporary.

I just need to save up so I can go abroad.

I don't know. Maybe America.

Mom, you're getting like 500 euros there.

How do you even get by with that?

I can take care of myself, mom.

Yeah, I know there's a lot of crime.

I'll be careful.

Hello. One Naked Strawberry vape, please.

And that orange magazine too, please.

- I'll go get it. - Okay. How much?

I don't know, same as last time... 50?

Sounds good.

Come on up! We've got the whole floor.

Hey, you made it!

Congrats to you too!

- When's the housewarming? - Soon.

I don't mean your place.

I'm thinking yacht! Caribbean!

No yachts. Home is enough.

That's what they all say. "One shot is enough."

Next thing, under the table.

Come on guys, grab a drink!

Ignore that.

Oh, you didn't have to!

Thank you. So exciting!

Weighs less than a Lada

Worth more than knockoff Prada

People do it all for the money

That's the devil

Eyes on blood, not watching the road

Bills raining down...

- Hey! - Hey!

I noticed you haven't confirmed the Canaries yet.

Are you coming or do you have other plans?

- We're coming! - As usual.

Of course, I just thought that...

You guys are now... rich.

We've just been so busy moving in.

That's next week, right?

It's in the email. Did you check?

We're in... regular rooms.

But I already checked, you can upgrade.

- To a suite or a villa. - No.

No villa needed. We're good.

And this island... it's not exactly luxurious.

But with kids, we can't really do anything... pricier.

I'll go get some bread.

We're coming. No villa needed. All good.

I'll grab some bread too.

New money...

Well hey!

Come on, you don't recognize me?

Old school buddy.

One thing I don't get, hon.

Why are you still working when your man's rich?

My man's money is tied up in crypto.

Makes sense. I knew there had to be a reason.

Mine's a poor civil servant. I'm on my own. Cheers to that!

I was kidding.

I can't hear anything!

This music is frying my brain.

Five grand.

That's like 0.0% of your 50 million.

And it's a loan.

Wait, sorry, what were you saying?

I was saying I actually like my job.

I get that. Totally.

It's just... teacher salaries are so tiny.

If someone asked me for such a tiny amount

I wouldn't think twice.

I'd never work for 1.000 euros a month.

No way, José. Thank you, next!

But no, at the ad agency...

Kinda awkward.

Don't you think?

Nice seeing you!

With that 1.000 euros, you go to a store and

You get nothing.

Bread, white bread, oat milk... Gone!

Yeah, totally.

Can't go to Bali on that.

Put on "Sex is on Fire."

Play something on Spotify.

Let's get the party going.

You can play your funeral music later.

Let's hit the bar. I'll pay.

I'm with the Ministry of Finance.

Look, this card.

It's straight off the state budget.

Deep in the red. But no limit.

Priit, what are you doing? Stop rambling.

People are doing their own thing. Let's go home.

You're so drunk.

Thank you, you were the best audience.

Not sure if it's us or everyone else.

"When are you hiring cooks and maids", huh?

Maybe they just need time.

They'll be back to normal soon.

I just hope we don't change.

Having some staff wouldn't hurt, though.

Two or three or four.

What would you do with them?

What would I do?

I don't know. All sorts of things.

They'd better be ugly then.

But nannies, they have to be ugly too?

Nannies need to be really ugly.

Give him four stars. He looked at you kinda weird.

You're listening to Banker Erik's Insider Info Podcast.

Insider info on money, investing, fishing and ever thing else.

Stuff they don't teach you in school.

Warning. This is a financial podcast.

If you lose your money, that's on you.

Today's guest is a former IT specialist.

One of the few who actually got rich from crypto.

Welcome, Taavi.

Hi, thanks for having me.

Taavi, you woke up to 50 million euros in Bitcoin.

What did you do?

Actually, I'm not a crypto guy.

My first thought? How do I turn this into cash?

- And how? - I went to the bank.

What did they say there?

Well, they were confused.

"So... 50 million in Bitcoin as "salary" from a wanted crypto guy?"

Unbelievable.

"And you want to run it through our bank?"

And then?

Well, then I hit Google.

I realized I needed to link the Bitcoin to an online wallet.

I transferred it all to Metamask.

Did he say Metamask?

...and cash it out in small batches.

Actually, I needed that because...

Metamask has a twelve word key.

- Alina, what are you doing? - Nothing.

Guys like him Post-It on the monitor.

Alina, come here.

The problem is he's home all day.

No job.

Grilling.

We need to smoke him out.

Did you figure this out yourself or did someone help?

Yeah, I've got an advisor.

An old college buddy, Carlos.

He's a crypto entrepreneur.

With him, I'm working to cash out the Bitcoin.

Excuse me.

Yeah, so...

But not in Estonia.

In another country.

Switzerland?

I'd rather not go into details.

When that money hits your Swiss bank account

where will you invest it?

Well, I'm not in any rush.

I'd rather wait for the right project.

Good principle.

Where are you parking the money until then?

In a bank account.

Not worried about inflation?

No, not really.

You must have nerves of steel.

Five out of your 50 million vanishes each year, so to speak.

And you can stay cool about it?

Most people would totally freak out.

Yeah...

Guess I do have nerves of steel.

Thanks, Taavi.

Glad you came.

Now it's time for Banker Erik's listener game.

Guess the value of Taavi's portfolio in a year.

Next year we hope to have you back to hear what happened.

Winner gets a coffee mug with Banker Erik's face.

Hey, are you some kind of idiot?

Each time you blab about your crypto adventures

some hacker comes after your wallets.

In Sweden, they tied a guy up in his own home.

I don't wanna talk about it. Here's the deal.

The Swiss are willing to take 25 million.

After fees, 20 million goes to your Swiss account.

And the other 5 million? Where's that going?

Fees. Middleman's cut, bankers' cut, mine.

Okay. And what happens to the other 25?

- It's 50 total. - Stays in crypto.

They've got limits. Earliest next year.

Got it.

And that 20 in the Swiss account.

Can I use it right away, or are there limits too?

Of course you can. It's Switzerland, not a daycare.

You got your hardware ledger set up?

No, it hasn't arrived yet.

Then what are we even talking about?

Stock prices are so high. Should've bought six months ago.

Nowhere to invest now.

Today, well, probably because of that article.

A former teacher from our school.

She's starting this new kind of school.

No ordinary subjects, all project-based learning.

They're looking for donations to get it off the ground.

And I was thinking.

Maybe we could donate too?

What do you think?

Was it a "yes"?

Huh? No.

Things like that need careful consideration.

What do you mean? It's been thought out.

There are many such schools in the world.

We must first figure out where to invest our money

so that inflation doesn't eat it up.

Then we can start giving to others.

Okay.

What about the Canaries? Shall we confirm it?

What shall I tell Maarja?

What do you think?

Okay. I'll confirm it.

Please start the grill.

Maybe we do it on the pan today?

I want it grilled.

- Okay, I'll go myself. - No, I...

Where is it? The grill?

I don't get it. It's just an old grill.

Who would steal something like that?

- Call the police. - Yeah, the police.

Four months later we'll get a letter saying "not found."

We'll buy a new one.

A new bike too.

We should go to the bike shop together.

We'll get you one too.

Matching ones.

Take them on the trip too.

You know what I was thinking?

Let's not go to the Canaries this time.

Let's go somewhere completely different.

Just the two of us.

Maarja and Priit, they are very nice.

- Just there at the party, it was like... - Yeah!

- Right? - Totally.

- Awkward, huh? - Yeah.

And they're otherwise super nice.

I don't want it like this.

What do we tell them so they're not offended?

Let's tell it like it is.

We need to be alone.

Yeah.

Where do we go, then?

Well.

I saw it in a movie. And you can't laugh.

Okay, throw it!

Greece!

Greece is kind of like the Canaries or Turkey.

School holidays too, packed with people.

You're right. Try again then.

- Nauru! - What?

- Nauru! - What's that?

It's a really tiny island.

Third smallest island in the world.

You can't even fit a bicycle in there then.

You can do a little lap around it though.

No, let's go again.

- Ten tries or what? - Let's make it the last one.

- Okay. - Whatever comes, comes.

But what if it's Latvia?

Or Poland?

Then we'll throw again.

What if it's Lithuania?

Don't worry, I won't throw Lithuania.

So, what is it?

It's probably a bit pricier than the Canaries.

Shall we go?

- Shall we? - Let's go!

Let's go.

- Let's go! - Yes, Let's go! Come down.

Five starts hotel.

Amazing view.

Please, come in.

Thank you for choosing our hotel.

For the next 50 years.

What happened?

Nothing.

Did you see a ghost?

No, not a ghost. It was basically...

Inflation.

VERY COOL PODCAST

Shit.

We have these damn bird stickers.

"We are so sorry. Kids thought they were being funny.

Dragged your grill down to the beach.

A really dumb joke, honestly.

We sincerely apologize for the trouble.

Here are some theater tickets as compensation. Neighbors."

Which neighbors?

It goes on.

"Since the kids are sorry and won't do it again

we'll stay anonymous for the kids' sake."

Oh my gosh!

I've been dying to see this.

You can never get tickets to it.

Imagine, you've got 50 million euros and inflation is at 10%.

That means you lose over 500 euros every hour.

5 million a year just vanishes. Crazy, right?

Why isn't there a school subject about money?

There are all these financial freedom groups.

They teach stuff like "save 100 euros a month, be happy in 20 years."

We've got the opposite problem.

No one teaches how to cope with that.

Guess there's no demand.

Maybe money isn't the most important thing in life.

But chemistry and physics are? Those need to be taught?

Well, if there's no chemistry

why be together at all?

Ah, okay.

Why don't we give some of that "vanishing" money to the Creativity Workshop?

To what?

The school I was telling you about.

Yeah, good idea.

Maybe we should set up a fund then?

With clear principles.

The Liisa & Taavi Charity Fund. Sounds good, right?

Let's do our trip, find a place to invest, and then set up the fund?

Did you buy the tickets?

No.

Felt too expensive.

But with inflation, what difference does it make?

Five hundred every two hours.

BUSINESS CLASS

BUY

Listen, Mr. Taavi, I'm sure you're asking yourself what makes your private plane...

- I'm not interested, thank you! - ...so different from others.

Well, Mr. Taavi, let me answer that question for you.

I said I'm not interested.

- Thank you. Bye. - The reason we are so damn successful

is that many of our customers enthusiastically tell me that

purchasing a private jet is an investment that pays off...

- Hey Siri, end the call. - Sorry, I did not get that.

Hey Siri I said end the call!

Mr. Taavi, the reason...

Yes, hello.

I wanted to see if you got our deck

with the bike factory building plans?

No, I don't know. I haven't looked.

Listen, I said I don't invest in start ups. I invest in...

Actually we're not really a start-up anymore.

And our round will be oversubscribed.

It's your loss if you don't get in.

Well... bye.

Wait, I wanted to say I don't invest without a meeting.

- Ah, nice. - You said electric bikes, right?

Maybe we can meet and take it from there.

I'll send a follow-up email and let's get it on the calendar.

The factory costs 5.5 and we already have 2.5 committed.

There's just one small 3 million ticket left.

We want to bring in someone with domain experience.

You know, someone like you.

We value your... cycling experience and IT background.

- You've worked in IT, right? - Yeah, but...

Then you know how technology business works.

It all sounds really exciting.

I'd like to invest, or at least consider it.

But I'm about to go on a trip.

I'd rather look at it after I get back.

Then you might miss out.

I mean... can I speak informally?

Of course.

Look, in the back corner, in yellow.

- That's a VC. - Who?

Venture Capitalist. Investor.

He's got a 50-million fund that invests in deep tech start ups.

He could take the whole round.

But he doesn't have your domain expertise.

Behind you, in pink. Just glance.

Another VC. He's got a 300-million fund.

I don't even need to leave this café to fill the round.

I'm afraid by the time you're back the train is gone.

Or more like, the rocket...

Yeah, I get it.

Look, how about this.

You'll send me all the paperwork by email.

But I just can't make that kind of decision before my trip.

That electric bike start-up.

I had my brother look over it and he said it's a bit off.

So I told them "no" for now.

But I'm thinking maybe I should invest.

Because your brother didn't recommend it?

Yeah... Hey, what about these two?

Identical. It's got a GPS module too.

We can track it if someone tries to steal it again.

That's my two months salary.

Life's too short to ride a shitty bike.

This selfish man, this greedy, grasping man.

This brute, this scoundrel.

How long is it?

How long will it last?

Four hours.

Four more hours?

Lowest of the low, beneath contempt.

He just has to die.

Look, it's over there.

Okay, so... I try again.

This can't be happening. Wait, Alina.

Damn it, Erik, you charged me 100 bucks for this thing.

For a plastic card?

Should've known better and not to buy it from you.

This thing doesn't even work.

Why would you sell me this crap?

Alina!

I'm gonna smash it in.

Damn it. Bulletproof glass.

Alina!

Damn.

Einar.

Alina, check the other rooms.

Go, go, go!

Chill, it's a four-hour play.

Let's get out of here.

But it couldn't be. He's still in prison.

Let's go see a movie instead.

I believe he's in prison. He has to be in prison.

No way he got out.

I hadn't been in contact with him for ten years.

I need to take this.

Yeah?

Hold on.

I'm at the theater.

I'll step into the hallway.

Sorry.

- I can talk now. - Congrats!

Thanks... for what?

For not giving any dumb interviews for three days?

The Swiss bank account is set up.

I sent you the transfer instructions.

Online bank passwords, I'll send in three parts.

First by SMS, second on Messenger, third by email.

Memorize the passwords, delete the messages.

- Got it? - Yeah. Got it.

Thanks for everything.

What about the hardware ledger?

It arrived. This morning.

I set it up right away as you instructed.

Honey, come on. We'll be late for the theater.

Yeah, coming.

That's perfect. Keep it close to you at all times.

Then no one can access your coins remotely.

Yes.

- And memorize your PINs, okay? - Yeah.

Did you find it?

The Metamask 12 words.

Alina, let's go.

Let's clean up too.

Alina!

Money in a jar, fermenting like Kimchi

Waiting for its moment, for that Nigerian prince, see

His rich uncle gone, left a fortune behind

Hold up, hear me out, don't drop the line

This time for Africa, this ain't Kunda, boy

It's royal flush, Prince Zamunda, boy

Pure vibranium, this is Wakanda, boy

Incorrect credentials.

Hundred mil stashed, you'll net thirty

Mr. Worldwide, Mr. Dividend

Habibi, my brother, my kin

Why do you think it was in the trash?

I don't know. Why?

No more hurry, no more worry

- I've got... - You've got what?

I have an idea and I want half the money.

Half is way too much.

You're working for my company.

I'm the one taking all the risk.

If you want, we can talk about a raise.

A Chanel bag or whatever.

Half is too much.

What's the idea?

Alina, what idea?

I'll seduce him.

How is that...

I thought there's something between us.

Alina, seducing is not a good plan.

We need to break into his place again.

We need to find out if he transferred it...

Swiss bank.

He mentioned a Swiss bank on the podcast.

Okay, then we need to find out which one

of those damn 500 Swiss banks he transferred it.

- Einar. - Yeah?

Let's go to your place.

20 million is in the Swiss account now.

We can start investing it right away.

25 is still stuck in crypto.

But no one can touch it without the hardware ledger and the PIN.

And that ledger is in my pants pocket.

You asleep?

That was really good. What about you?

We make a pretty good team, huh?

What do you think?

I was thinking in the car.

With the salary, just... ask for more.

It's not even an issue. That came out wrong.

You've gotta know how to ask for your salary.

About this apartment. I was thinking.

There's a lot of space here, several rooms.

Some of them are free. I can help you move in.

My parents used to live here. Actually, my dad died in here.

Well, that's not important.

The car we drove.

It's my uncle's car. I borrowed it two days ago.

Haven't returned it yet, even though I was supposed to yesterday.

Just popped into my head.

I walk alone in the rain

A veil of mist surrounds me

Seeps from the water

My chest feels light

Laughter shimmers ahead

And seeks you

Laughter shimmers ahead

And seeks you

It's easier this way for me

No pain gnaws at me

I do not long for your heart

So small it seems to me

Come on! Taxi is here.

Just a sec. Forgot the charger.

Oh, and glasses too.

Honey, do they have different outlets there?

Do we need an adapter?

Where are you? Meter is running.

I'll go put the stuff in the car.

What's wrong?

Next, please.

These bikes are non-standard. They go on the conveyor belt.

For the bikes, it'll be an extra 200 euros.

- Wait, even in business class? - Unfortunately, yes.

Okay, I figured with tickets at 3625, maybe bikes were included.

Do they have a battery?

No, just a GPS security module.

And how does this GPS security module work?

What do you mean, how?

How is it powered?

Some kind of power bank I guess.

So it does have a battery?

Yeah, maybe a small one.

You need to switch it off before checking in the bike.

What? You can't switch off a GPS security module.

In that case, you'll need to remove the battery.

Put it in your hand luggage.

I'm telling you, it can't be removed, it's a GPS security module.

I don't know about other airlines.

Our airline's policy doesn't allow this bike to fly.

There's a bike parking area outside.

Tip, sir.

Looks like everyone here has their own yacht.

Seems pointless to own one.

You won't even use it that much.

Not very practical.

Do you love me?

Yeah.

Why?

You want to talk about this now?

Yes.

You're...

Smart and...

Uh... beautiful.

You're sexy.

You're...

Perfect.

Thank you.

Well, why do you like me?

Mostly for the money.

Ha ha ha. No, seriously?

A few other things, but mainly the money.

Am I hearing Estonian?

Hi, I'm Cristel.

- Hi, Taavi, Liisa. - Nice to meet you.

Oh my gosh, can I give you a hug?

I'm so happy to see Estonians here.

What a surprise.

I feel like I've seen you somewhere?

Yeah, possible.

So what brings you to Miami?

Just on vacation. With my boyfriend.

Well, nice meeting you.

Enjoy your trip.

- Do you know her? - Nope.

- Well, she knows you. - Estonia's small.

Maybe she saw that article in that magazine.

Hey, looks like you can rent bikes there.

Let's go check it out.

Honestly, they look pretty unmaintained.

So what, let's get one.

Seriously?

Can't, you need to download some app.

Let's download it then.

No, I didn't purchase data roaming.

There's WiFi at the Airbnb anyway.

I'll check if there's a public WiFi.

Nope.

Let's just walk a bit further and then head back.

How much is roaming?

25 euros, that's why I didn't get it.

More than renting the bikes.

I'll get it.

- Wait, what are you doing? - I'm getting it.

I'll buy it myself. This is for you.

- Huh? C'mon! - What is it?

This app lets you unlock just one bike at a time.

Yeah, well, what now?

- Okay, look, I bought roaming. - Why?

It's ridiculous, we paid for data roaming and the bikes

but while you were entering your passport info

my meter was running and we paid even for a stationary bike.

Liisa, where are you going?

Damn, the brakes don't work at all.

Stupid piece of junk.

Are you okay?

Are you sure? - Yeah.

You don't need an ambulance? - No, no need.

Let's get a taxi and just leave these here.

- Can we just leave them here? - Who cares.

- You sure you're okay? - Yeah, I'm fine.

Come off the road.

Your call is very important to us.

Wait time is 38 minutes.

38 minutes?

You know what, forget it.

No, the company should take responsibility.

Otherwise, someone else will fall the same way.

This wouldn't have happened with our own bikes.

Airline battery rules are so dumb.

What's the point of business class if the rules are just as ridiculous.

What's one supposed to do?

To travel with bikes, you need a private jet?

Sorry, I feel guilty.

What? It's not your fault, I wanted to.

I should've checked the brakes myself.

Your call is very important to us.

Wait time is one hour

22 minutes.

How can they just add time?

Your call is very important to us.

- Wait time is 52 minutes. - What the...

Damn.

35 dollars?

Drink your own damn wine.

Your call is very important to us.

Wait time is one hour 13 minutes.

What? 8 euros? 10 dollars!

NICE SEEING YOU. SO RANDOM.

HOW LONG ARE YOU HERE?

DINNER?

FOUR OF US OFC. DOUBLE DATE.

GOOD IDEA. WILL TALK TO MY WIFE.

Welcome back to Banker Erik's Insider Info Podcast.

Taavi, not only have you beaten inflation

but thanks to smart investments

your 50 million has turned into 300 trillion.

300 trillion Zimbabwe dollars.

That's about 40 eurocents.

Damn.

Okay, let me get this straight.

You drank a bottle of wine.

Then you invested one and a half million in stocks.

You ran out and couldn't bring yourself to drink the 35 dollar bottle.

You went to the store... - Vivino app said the store price is 10.

So you went to the store, bought a 10 dollars bottle.

An 8 dollars bottle.

Drank that, and then invested

3 million in the bike factory

the one your brother told you not to invest in.

Then you called customer service.

They thought we'd been riding the bikes drunk.

Yeah, I can already imagine how you handled that call.

What the hell.

No, no, I haven't been drinking. I have...

I've been... I was... I'm drunk right now but when I was riding with the bikes

I wasn't. You didn't even ask if she's OK.

You didn't ask if my wife... if she's all right.

Then you ran out of wine again.

Then you drank the 35 dollars bottle after all.

And then you bought us...

What exactly?

A plane. A private jet.

It's an investment, you see?

They're going to rent it out. Every time they rent it out...

It's like a rental apartment.

It's not a bank balance that inflation can eat away.

It's passive income.

And you bought it?

Not a rent or a lease? And not some... timeshare or rideshare?

Yes, I bought it. It's ours.

No one can now tell us what we can do with our batteries and bikes.

But how much did it cost?

This particular model... brand new is around 22.

Used ones go for 16 or a bit more.

But right now there's a sale and I got it for...

It was 15.5.

Million?

Yes.

It was on sale, that's why I snapped it up.

And it didn't once cross your mind

to discuss it with me?

Well, you were asleep.

Yeah, I was asleep.

But what about the charity fund

that was supposed to be so carefully considered?

What's happening with that?

This plane's passive income...

We can use it for charity too.

I was just hoping it'd be a bit of a surprise.

A surprise, yeah.

So what do we do with this surprise now?

Fly home.

Who's piloting, you or me?

No, the pilot will.

Damn.

The airline sent me a list of pilots.

I need to start interviewing them.

One is actually Estonian, lives in Miami.

Oh, and the Estonian girl we met yesterday...

she invited us to dinner tonight with her boyfriend.

Okay, was she here or what?

No. Through Instagram.

But we don't have to go if you don't want to.

Instagram. Okay.

The plane you bought actually needs two pilots.

Luckily I have the only such license in the world

that allows me to fly it solo.

I had to sue the aviation authority for that.

I represented myself and later sent them a bill.

With the money I bought another plane and a villa.

Okay.

Before that I worked as a lawyer in New York.

Several years, nice nine-to-nine job.

Got tired of it, bought a plane.

Learned to fly... Much more fun.

- And financially better to be a pilot. - Yeah, sounds great.

So we can go.

- And also... - Wait a sec.

- Where are you going? - To the beach.

- Give me a few minutes, I'll come too. - Catch up then.

Wait.

How will I find you?

Seriously, sunbathing like this?

There are people everywhere.

You like it better in a bikini?

What?

This... Estonian pilot is really nice.

15 years flying all over the U.S.

Flown all kinds of senators, rappers, other stars.

Okay.

We agreed to meet at the private jet terminal.

And he'll hand over the plane.

Are you still mad about the plane?

We can sell it, you know.

We'll fly back to Estonia and then I'll list it.

On a classified ads portal or wherever they sell such things.

And we'll get it sold.

What's the matter?

I'm going to the airport early just in case.

You're coming with me?

- Sunbathing. - Okay, yeah. Keep sunbathing then.

Who are they?

I had an empty leg from New York, picked up some hitchhikers.

- Anyway, I'm Tommi. - Hi.

You look so young in real life.

Usually people who buy planes are retirees

who don't want to leave anything to their grandkids.

The salesman even said no one ever buys

a plane online after just two phone calls.

Well, it wasn't just an online buy.

I did a thorough background check.

Okay, well, I have to tell you...

The seller gives me business but as one Estonian to another.

If you want to fly this plane to Europe, you're screwed.

Two things.

First, Europe requires FMS version 6.1 and you have 6.0.

What is FMS?

FMS is Flight Management System.

Your autopilot and navigation software.

Software can be updated, right?

Yeah, but the update for such plane costs 200 grand.

200 thousand for a software update?

Welcome to the world of aviation.

Second thing. Come, I'll show you.

You've got a brake fluid leak.

You need new brakes.

That's another 200 grand.

I don't have 200 thousand right now.

I can't move that much right now.

What does the software update even improve?

It's some bullshit safety thing.

Basically a money grab for the software company.

Everyone's flown fine with 6.0 till now.

Nothing's happened.

Only thing is, with 6.1 you can land in 100 meters visibility.

With 6.0 you need 300 meters.

But visibility between 100 and 300, that never happens.

Okay, let's take a look.

- What? - Let's look into it.

Great, it's got USB ports.

I can download the software to my laptop's dev environment.

I can decompile the loader, change the version number

reinstall it, and if they look, they'll see the new version number.

- You sure this works? - I am a programmer.

At the bank we constantly dealt with such black box software.

At the bank, if you mess up, you don't fall to your death.

I get it, but it's not that complicated.

Where's the number?

It's this one.

This number needs to be changed, that's all.

Yeah, a typical thing.

The plane had new brakes but they swapped them.

You fly for an hour and it's a 300k replacement.

It's not okay. I'll call the guy

and tell him to replace those damn parts.

Okay, but did you read your purchase agreement?

DINNER AT 7?

CAN'T, OTHER PLANS.

It's a typical thing.

You've made a lot of money.

But haven't grown rich yet.

Money's like good wine.

The older, the better.

Sorry, we won't drink that water.

- Well this is still water, sir. - Yeah, I mean from the...

How do you say "tap"?

Well, we don't serve tap water here, sir.

- Okay. - It's never safe.

So all the locals also drink this 15 dollar imported Italian water.

I don't know, sir.

Look, I just want the same water what locals drink.

- This is what we serve here, sir. - Okay, whatever.

All good?

You were gone so long.

Sure everything's fine?

My stomach's a bit off.

We messed around with the plane all day.

It's got hydraulic problems and software issues.

Everything will be fine.

Just our flight will probably move to next week.

We can stay at the beach longer.

I have school Monday.

You can ask for a few days off.

What'll they do, fire you?

They won't fire you.

And even if they do, you're rich.

You don't need them.

It was a joke. I didn't mean...

But you could ask for a few days off.

They'd make an exception.

It's like an excused absence.

I don't want an exception.

- I don't get it. - What don't you get?

I mean, I just...

Don't get anything anymore.

Taavi, honestly...

You really haven't changed.

- What? - It was a joke.

Where are you going?

- Home. - What?

You can stay here if you want.

I put a bucket under the leak spot.

It hasn't leaked too much.

We've got enough for at least three or four braking cycles.

Three or four braking cycles? What does it mean?

Well, first brake in Reykjavik.

Second in Tallinn.

Wait, what?

You want to fly to Estonia with faulty brakes?

Basically, yeah.

It's easier to get parts and fix it back home.

I get it, but isn't it dangerous?

Are you joking?

Do you really think I'd risk my life over your 300 grand

and leave my kid fatherless?

I didn't mean it like that.

Think logically, we have four braking cycles left.

If it were only two, then 50-60 chance.

We've got margin. It'll be fine.

Okay.

Yes! It's working!

No way. Really?

Haven't programmed in ages.

Feels good. Come take a look.

Same for me with flying.

Well, okay. We're flying out tomorrow at noon.

Sure you're not coming with us?

- We'd only be one day late. - Yeah, sure.

Alright then.

See you in Estonia.

See you in Estonia, yeah.

Fly safe, and...

You too...

Bye.

Bye.

I know that nothing lasts

I know that day ends with night

It's so good and warm here. You can't even imagine.

Would love to be here together with you.

Honestly, your mindset bothers me.

How can you live like this?

So plainly.

Don't you think it's unfair

that some people have yachts and villas

and you and me have nothing?

I know that night turns to day again

And from the ashes a glowing flame can rise

But in your eyes the sun's smile has faded

Totally sick!

Are you okay?

What did I do to you?

You think I won't find you?

I'll find you and I'll kill you.

What an asshole.

You should call the police.

He'll kill me.

All the more reason to contact the police.

It's not that simple.

The police won't do anything.

I just need to get back home.

And then I...

Ah, my wallet is with him!

I could lend you money for the plane tickets.

Thank you, that's very kind of you.

But I couldn't accept it.

Are you sure?

Yeah. I'll call my mom.

And then I'll...

Oh, but...

I can't go to the airport.

That's the first place he'll look for me.

Basically there's one way you could fly home

without using the regular terminal.

Really?

What way?

Kids, we're landing in five minutes.

- Oh, sorry. - I hope I'm not too pushy.

We're friends.

Really good friends.

This is your captain speaking.

In 30 seconds we will press to the Reykjavík terminal.

Please take your seats and fasten your seatbelts.

Nice crisp Northern air. 20 minutes, refueling stop.

Can I quickly run somewhere?

Depends how long you'll be.

- I'll be really quick. - Okay.

You can fill the tank in 20 minutes?

I'm not filling it all the way.

The plan is to land empty in Tallinn.

If something happens with the brakes in Tallinn

we'll have a 90% chance of survival.

If I filled it up and landed in Tallinn with half a tank

and we went off the runway, we'd catch fire

and our chance of survival drops below 50%.

Maybe only 20-30%.

Your girlfriend isn't coming?

I'll text her.

It's gone! Stolen.

The ledger box where the PIN was.

Wait, you threw the PIN away with the ledger box?

You changed the PIN first, right?

Huh?

Did you change the PIN code

before throwing away the box?

No, I didn't know.

Kindergarten.

That was a pretty basic scam.

Good that your friend posted to that forum.

25 million is a big amount.

Maybe someone will look into it and find some info.

Tallinn is in sight.

Tower, 28 Foxtrot Mike, 10 miles to the East, descending on 6.000.

Okay, we've got landing clearance.

We can speak Estonian. How nice.

Wheels are stuck.

- What? - Our landing gear doesn't want to deploy.

Is this another one of your jokes?

Hasn't happened before.

28 Foxtrot Mike, declaring emergency, we have a gear problem.

How much fuel left?

About 30 minutes of fuel.

Circle above the airport and try again.

Okay, circling.

Why are you reading this from an iPad?

The things from Microsoft Flight Simulator

I have memorized but this wasn't there.

What?

What kind of investor are you if you can't handle a little risk?

I'm not...

I'll descend a bit to pick up signal

to get online and Google what to do.

Please pick up.

Please pick up, honey.

Call my wife too, please.

Pick up, please pick up.

It worked, the wheels came down.

28 Foxtrot Mike, we've got the wheels down.

No more emergency.

How did you get them down?

There was a step missing in the flight manual.

Someone had posted on the Internet.

Before pulling the emergency lever

you have to put the regular lever up first.

It's not logical, but someone had posted right instructions.

Flight forum is great for such tips.

There's an airliner ahead of you.

Circle the airport and start landing in 6 minutes.

We're almost out of fuel.

There's an airliner in the landing corridor.

- Please clear the corridor. - Ok, copy.

If the indicators are at zero it's like in a car

and we have at least 15 minutes of...

Where did that noise go?

Okay, now you'll see how landing a glider feels like.

The heart is beating, all indicators are fine.

- That's all. - Great, thank you.

You can come back in 6-8 weeks.

We might see baby's gender then.

It's always good to bring the father along.

Usually, couples come together.

Or well...

What am I rambling? Everyone's situation is different.

What do you mean?

Some children have a father, some have two mothers.

Some have a mom and some dad somewhere,

but who knows where or what or when.

No, the baby's father is my husband.

He just doesn't know yet.

Doesn't know yet?

Of course...

There's always the option before the end of the first trimester,

which is up to 12 weeks pregnant, to terminate the pregnancy.

You can get an information sheet from the nurse outside.

No. I won't have an abortion.

Then I recommend telling the father.

I see.

Do you love him?

Huh?

Do you love your... husband?

TALLINN AIRPORT

Well, if you can fly a glider

you can land without electronics too.

American pilots would've never pulled this off.

Where should I email the invoice?

Damn.

I'm sorry, Liisa.

That Estonian girl stole everything.

I knew her from before too...

From Instagram.

She kissed me on the plane and I kissed her back too.

I'm sorry.

Forgive me.

We'll set up that charity fund, I promise.

We'll sell that damn plane too.

Need to do something about the drinking.

Or well, occasionally.

A couple of glasses.

We're having a baby.

NEW MONEY

- How's the new guy? - Pretty okay.

Small bugs in his code.

- I can handle it. - No big deal.

We're paying him minimum wage anyway.

And he's one of our investors too.

If he screws something up he'll have to put in more money himself.

But nothing is tax free

Paid off like the American Dream

No more rush, one swipe is enough

I make sure my last one got style

Listen, I haven't taken any kind of loan.

This is outright fraud.

I've explained this to you repeatedly.

I haven't taken this loan.

Good grief.