Original subtitles

HOME FOR CHRISTMAS 3

DECEMBER 9TH

- Hey, how's it goin'? - Well, hello there. Hi.

- Fancy meeting you here. - Very funny.

Well, glad we could meet up.

Yeah, me too.

I gotta admit, I'm very nervous.

- Me too. - Been a while since I've been on a date.

Well, don't worry, 'cause it isn't a date.

Oh yeah, sorry. This is a non-date.

Right.

I'm happy you messaged me, you know?

Well, that's good.

I have to admit, we're here at this rink

'cause I'm in desperate need of fun and, uh...

a palate cleanser.

A palate cleanser?

- Yeah. - Do people still say that?

Oh no, am I old-fashioned?

- Great. - A little, yeah.

Just great.

You skate with a helmet?

Yeah. Safety before beauty.

Well, alrighty then.

I forgot to mention,

I can't do this without holding onto someone for dear life.

Oh?

So you suggest we go skating so you can get touchy-feely.

That's a clever plan.

I can't let go of your arm.

It's kinda nice.

Are you okay?

I borrowed these skates from my son's stepdad.

- Oh. - I think he lied about the size.

- Oh. - Ow...

Your ex's new man exaggerates his size?

- At least with skates. - Yeah.

It's nice that you have a relationship like that,

where you can borrow stuff from each other, and...

Sounds like nothing but good vibes there.

Whatever's in Jesper's best interest, right?

Yeah.

Ah.

Shit. Ow.

I think we should throw in the towel.

Ugh.

You know what? As a nurse,

I'm putting my foot down about those tiny baby man skates.

- How 'bout we have some hot cocoa instead? - Yeah, I like that plan.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

You know, I bet that's a new record.

We were on the ice for about 30 seconds total.

I'm sorry.

Ow.

And I hate to break it to you, but don't wear the helmet.

Why not?

Well, it looks dorky.

A concussion would be a sexier look than the helmet.

So your son's name is Jesper, you said?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Does he have any brothers or sisters?

Jobert, Jax, and Jashley?

Dumb joke.

No. Jesper's a lone wolf.

- Gotcha. - At least for now.

- Hm. - I don't know whether my ex

has plans to "grow the flock."

And how about for you? You see more kids in your plan?

Wow, we're blowing right past the small talk.

We're divin' right into it.

Well, honestly, I'm very happy with just the one.

Is that a dealbreaker?

Definitely not.

You have a little...

- On my lip? - Can I remove it?

Yeah. Is it...?

Yeah, it's, uh...

- You have a mustache. - Oh.

Now it's gone.

Hm.

Skol.

Skol.

It's like that moment just before you kiss, right?

- You know it's about to happen... - Yeah.

...so it's like...

- But you didn't kiss? - We didn't.

- Huh. - Yeah.

But since he's a single parent,

I could understand why he'd wanna take it a bit slower.

- Right. - And I think it's important for me

to go old-fashioned and take things slowly.

That sounds like a smart way to do it.

- Hm. - Is this good?

- Thank you so much. - Thanks.

- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas.

- And he's invited me out to dinner. - Whoa!

And it's at a super fancy restaurant.

- I think you should go. - You do?

Yeah. Plus, you could use a little...

- Bow chicka-wow-wow. - Whoa!

A little... Uhh.

- A little palate cleanser? - That's a good way to put it.

- Hi. - Hello.

- How 'bout you, Morten? - Yeah?

Like, is your life still hunky-dory, ripped straight from a fairy tale?

- Yeah. - Yeah? Ugh!

- Oh, wow. - Think you're having any more children?

Uh, nah. The twins are plenty.

Thank you so much. Have a Merry Christmas.

- You too. - And you as well.

You're 100% sure?

- Yes. No more kids. I'm sure. - Right.

Are you going to Pop's?

- Yeah. - Right.

I'm picking up the decorations we made when we were little.

Remember? I'm decorating at my place.

Okay, bye. Say hi to Pop.

Yeah. Oh, you're leaving?

Morten? What's happening?

Ah! Oh, shoot. Hi!

- Why won't Maria answer her phone? - Uh...

She's not at rehearsals. Won't answer the phone.

Neither does her husband.

Really? Okay.

So what do you think we should do about the costumes then?

You're asking what I think?

Yeah. Someone in your family needs to handle them.

Uh...

Well, I don't know.

We can put the kids in hats so they look like gnomes.

And we could maybe paint their cheeks red? I don't get the problem here.

The Christmas show is meant to make sure

the parents have an opportunity to be more involved in their children's lives.

Many children have parents who don't get along and fight.

Or children who, God forbid, have lost their mom or dad,

for example to cancer.

Not to mention, it's important to have a space where people feel welcome

and can come together,

especially during the holiday season, when people feel incredibly lonely.

That's why it's important to me that things are done properly,

including the costumes the children will be wearing.

That's the problem.

Yeah, okay. I'll try to get a hold of Maria.

- Great. - Yeah, okay.

Hey Maria, I just bumped into your favorite person,

Marianne, who chewed me out because you're not answering her calls,

so call her please.

And now you're not answering me either, but, um,

for real, what's up with grown adults scolding other grown adults like children?

Uh, yeah. Anyway, please just, uh, call me back.

You trying to kill the Christmas spirit in here?

Oh, hi. So you're here?

We're doing some soldering.

Okay. Is my father...?

- Hey, Pops. - Hi, Johanne. Passing though?

Did you find the boxes with the old Christmas decorations and stuff?

- Huh? - Huh?

Oh my God, I can't hear anything!

I was wondering if you had found those boxes with the, uh... the old Christmas--

Oh yeah, that.

Uh... I found some boxes. I put them in the kitchen.

Okay.

Uh, if you want, I can take over the soldering.

Yeah.

And you can thank your son for getting all of your Christmas shopping done.

Oh, that's great.

Mm. You should try to keep your kitchen a little more presentable.

I, uh, try to tidy up at least once a week.

Well, it's looking like you should maybe do double that.

- Remember this? - Yeah.

These were Grandma's, right?

Yeah, good old Grandma.

- Look at this. - That one's absolutely hideous.

But where is the, uh...

Here!

- I'm glad you didn't toss this one. - Yeah.

Remember when we put these together with you and Mom in this kitchen?

Hm.

And this one.

- I've been thinking, Johanne. - Mm-hm?

Um, so I was talking to Øystein.

- He has no one to celebrate with... - Ah.

...so I invited him to come here.

- Huh? You...? - I thought it was a nice thing to do.

Sure, but wait a minute, what're you saying?

Well, I thought I'd come to your place earlier in the day,

and then spend Christmas Eve back here with Øystein.

What's wrong with bringing him over to my place?

Bring Øystein over there?

Why not? If that's what we have to do, so be it.

But you don't have any trains.

- I don't have any trains, you said?! - Yeah.

Are you serious?

Let me get this straight, you'd rather spend Christmas

driving trains with your buddy than spend it with me? With your kids?

I thought you'd be more understanding about this.

Øystein out there doesn't have anyone.

I'm sorry but what the hell's going on?

You had Morten shop for all your Christmas presents!

You don't put up the Christmas lights, you don't even decorate,

you don't listen to Christmas music.

And meanwhile, I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off

to create some Christmas spirit here!

And what're you doing?

You're prioritizing some rando with model trains over your own daughter!

Hello!

Wanna tell me what's going on?

When I checked the extent of the damage from the leak, I found a bunch of rot.

- Water damage. - Yeah, so why is everything all--

We have to remove a lot more flooring than we thought.

We have to make sure what's left is completely dry before rebuilding.

But, uh, will you be finished in here by Christmas Eve?

I'd have to be at it 24/7 to make it work.

I'm begging you, make it work. Got that? December 24th.

- I'm givin' it my best shot. - And is this machine really necessary?

It's dryin' out the kitchen.

Okay!

TO ADRIAN: IS THE DINNER OFFER STILL ON?

How did it go with Mr. Hot Dad?

DECEMBER 10

We went ice-skating.

You what?

- Yeah, we went all old-school. - Ew, why?

What do you mean?

- And was that all you did? - Yeah.

And he's picking me up later today. We're gonna go to a restaurant.

- A restaurant? Oh my God. - Yeah.

You millennials and getting laid, you really work for it.

- Who said anything about getting laid? - What? That's the point!

I'm just saying, you really gotta go for it.

- Oh, before I forget... - Hm?

- ...you get Willy's test results back? - Yep.

They believe he has a lung infection.

Sarcoidosis?

Yeah. And the doctor also wants to do an MRI.

- Of his heart? - Yeah.

Mm-hm.

That's what he was afraid of. More testing.

Think we can nudge him into it?

Yeah, well, Erik's already down there with him now.

- Okay. - Yeah.

Hm.

- So... - Hm?

I was thinking we should have a funeral for the Gold Monk.

- Tonight, I mean. - No, I--

- What? It'll be so fun. - No.

Uh, what's a Gold Monk, and how exactly did he die?

- Uh, well, it's when you haven't had, um... - Yeah, no. That'll do.

So long, Gold Monk, so long!

Oh, God.

Right. You'd almost think you were BFFs, not that you're upper management.

I'm teaching her some Norwegian words and she's teaching me some Swedish ones.

So if I were to crack open a Swedish dictionary

and look up "Gold Monk" it would say...?

It's someone who hasn't had sex in a year.

Wow, that's actually a seriously long time.

I was waiting to bring this up,

but you showed up at singles night the other night.

- So what if I did? - Just... what's up with that?

- Johanne, we've got a problem. - Huh?

- Willy. - He won't do the MRI?

- No. - No.

Okay. Uh, if someone asks, I'll be in radiology.

Mm. All right, Gold Monk.

MAGNETIC FIELD

I'm not doing it.

That's a heck of a lot of tests we've put you through.

Quite an understatement, but sure.

Did the doctor tell you the reason you need the MRI?

I've just been shipped around like a package without a word of explanation.

Yeah, that's tough.

Um, you have something called sarcoidosis,

which is a sort of mysterious inflammatory condition

that attacks healthy tissue.

So, we need to look at your pericardium to see if maybe it's spread,

since you've been having chest pains.

And if it spread elsewhere?

It's a treatable condition.

But if the inflammation's left untreated, it can have very serious consequences.

Okay.

And you have to put me in there to figure that out?

Yep.

I don't wanna go in there.

Would it help if maybe I stayed in the room with you?

Don't you have better things to do with your time?

Nah. I sort of have a date but, uh, that can wait.

I'll stay here.

Are you into the whole dating thing?

Oh sure, I try to pencil in several women a day.

Do you now?

If you can find me a date in that machine there, I'll think about it.

Yeah?

You could listen to some music, to get you in the mood,

if you know what I mean.

I can listen to music in there?

- Mm-hm. No one told you that? - No.

What would you like to listen to?

Only one of the best albums ever recorded.

Sure.

Ballads, John Coltrane, 1963.

Okay. Now let's see...

There.

You heard his choice of music, right? Yeah.

Good?

Louder.

A little... louder.

Yeah? And, uh...

Uh, I'll hold your hand when I can. Sound good?

- Okay? - But you'll be staying?

Yep!

- Johanne? - Yeah?

Thank you for what you did for Willy.

It was my pleasure.

- Uh, yes? - Hm?

I actually have to finish a report.

It's so hard to pretend I'm not head over heels in love with you.

- Erik. - I mean it.

- Well, mm, that's sweet of you but-- - I'm serious!

Uh, I can't--

You're so lovely.

Thank you very much.

Uh...

- Well, I must say-- - I know what that looked like,

I assure you nothing's going on.

You may be terrified of becoming a Gold Monk,

but, uh, this office is not your little personal fuck cave.

My "fuck cave"? What?

I also heard you're doing Secret Santa this year. Rookie mistake.

Yeah, just a little gift exchange. Don't people like that?

Sure. Because right before Christmas,

everyone wants even more things that they have to do.

Besides, in today's world, people get offended by the tiniest things.

Have you even thought about that?

What happens if someone in your ward gets a present they happen to find offensive?

But look, right there, someone got you a gift.

It didn't make your day?

This one is personal,

and therefore a completely voluntary gesture.

That report?

Yeah, I'm working on it right now. Yeah.

Right.

Ugh. Yuck.

Hi.

Hoo!

- Hi. - Hi.

Sorry to keep you waiting.

I'm sorry, my day has been an absolute train wreck.

- Completely imploded. - Mm.

No problem.

Over dinner, you can tell me all about it.

Sounds good.

Nice outfit.

I'm not really supposed to wear it outside,

but I felt bad keeping you waiting.

Can we swing by my place on our way to the restaurant?

It's in the, um, city, on the way.

I like that uniform, but all right.

All right, mister, that's an inside thought.

Copy that.

Let's go.

- Okay. I'll be... super quick. - Yeah.

Hey, by the way, uh, the other night,

you were randomly here working and I brought someone home,

and it got real... really awkward, you know?

So if you could you just give me a heads-up if you're gonna be working late,

or bringing chainsaws, bulldozers in... into my kitchen?

Just so I know what's going on.

Heads up?

Yes. Take a moment to text me, or write me a fucking note or something.

Whatever. I live here, you know.

Okay?

Okay.

Um, yeah.

Maria?

Hi.

What's going on?

Can I sleep here tonight?

I just need some...

peace and quiet, you know?

You'll definitely get that here.

- But, uh, yeah, of course. - Awesome.

Okay. Wanna talk about it?

Actually...

I really would.

Mm. Then let's do it.

Uh, let me take care of something first.

- I'll be back, don't go anywhere. - Okay.

Got it.

I'm sorry. This day just keeps getting crazier and crazier.

My sister just showed up inside, and there's a family crisis and,

uh, I have to call off our date.

Anything I can do to help out?

Maybe you could give me a rain check?

You got it.

Okay. Perfect. I'll call you, then.

Oh, uh... I forgot to mention,

remind me to tell you who I ran into at the Christmas market.

I'll give you a hint.

- Okay. I'll remember that. - Good. Okay.

But hey... take care.

I will. You too.

Would you like some wine?

- Uh, please. That'd be great. - Okay.

There.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

Mm.

It doesn't seem... very ready in here.

No, it's not finished yet.

- Want me to ask Bo to leave? - Bo?

Bo. The weirdo in the plastic fortress.

- Oh, don't worry. It's fine. - Mm.

I gather there's quite a bit going on.

I don't even know where to begin.

It's not just work that's...

really putting me through the ringer right now.

I never get a break from the kids' screaming

and whining all the fucking time.

And, as if having three kids wasn't enough...

...it's like, um, Ayaz has become a fourth little boy.

He never has the slightest idea what's going on.

He... he doesn't notice... anything.

It's almost like he's, um...

regressing backwards?

Or shrinking away.

And it...

...it hurts to feel so alone.

But, hey...

But It's obvious he loves you a ton. I can see that.

And...

he picks up and helps out, right?

Did you hear a word of what I just told you?

I listened to you.

If you're just gonna defend him, why did I say anything?

Huh? That wasn't me defending him, just giving you a different perspective.

One that's all about me being tightly wound and him being such a great guy.

Yeah, no, that's not what I said at all.

- But, uh... - Okay.

Well, sometimes you do tend to insist on having things a particular way,

or... I'm guessing it's a control thing maybe? I have no idea.

Control?

It's not about control, but being a responsible adult.

I'm sick of feeling obligated to carry around some sort of guilty conscience,

because I'm the only one holding my home together.

Taking care of my job, my family, my marriage.

Yeah, Maria, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... It came out weird.

It's called being an adult.

It's something you would know nothing about

since you avoid ever having to act like one.

Okay? What do you mean by that?

Like for example insisting on having Christmas Eve at your place.

You say it's to take the burden off our shoulders,

but meanwhile, your kitchen isn't even functional.

So the rest of us have to step up and take responsibility,

which now doubles our stress.

But we have to let it go because Johanne meant well.

Even though, honestly, you're kinda acting like a little brat.

I think you're being damn harsh, Maria.

As if you're the only one with responsibilities to handle.

I have a lot on my plate!

Who's keeping our family from falling apart? Huh?

That falls on me.

Who takes care of Pop? Oh wait, that'd be me.

'Cause you guys're all too busy to handle it.

Except nobody asked you to do that.

You're the one who chose to take on that role.

So you'll feel important to this family 'cause you don't have one of your own.

Oh...

Goddamn...

Hi.

Would it be bit too soon to cash in that rain check?

That's fine.

Uh, just send me the address.

Okay. Thank you.

Hi.

- Come on in. - Thanks.

Hungry?

More thirsty, actually.

I poured a glass for you there.

Oh wow. Thanks.

Still in your work clothes, huh?

- This really is a never-ending day. - Yeah.

It really won't end.

Oh, geez.

It's really nice in here.

- I'm glad you think so. - Mm.

I try to keep it tidy, but...

it gets pretty messy in here.

You're kidding. You think this is messy?

Then you should see my place. It's a pig sty.

Meanwhile, this is all... Zen heaven.

If you're hungry, food'll be ready soon.

I'm good with my wine.

Lost my appetite, honestly.

So what happened?

No, we can just, uh... let it lie.

Wine, soup, and a handsome man'll make it all right.

- Mm. - Cheers.

Mm.

I have to tell you about the thing I forgot to say earlier.

Guess who I ran into at the Christmas market yesterday,

just sneak attacked me?

I have no idea.

That bitch Marianne.

Oh?

Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's not a nice thing to call her.

Now listen, I'm just saying.

I think it's a rather appropriate name for her,

'cause she acts like one.

She was standing there chewing me out

because my sister won't answer the phone, as if that's somehow my fault, right?

Proceeds to lay a massive guilt trip on me

for not thinking the Christmas show's the most important thing ever.

- That sounds like Marianne. - Yeah.

And then I went to work, and my boss spent the day hovering over my shoulder,

only to come home and get chewed out by Maria. Yeah.

- Yeah. You don't deserve that. - Yeah.

I'm sorry. I shouldn't be venting.

Adults scolding each other.

What's up with that?

Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly... what I said.

We're having one of those, uh... little moments again.

Like at the skating rink?

Yeah.

- It wasn't just me who-- - No.

Hey, it's okay to wait. We don't have to...

Or we can take it slow and still do this too.

Great idea.

- Hello? - Huh?

- Oh my God. - Hello?

Hello?

I'm just picking up some school stuff for Jes... per.

Okay.

Okay, what's going on here?

Oh, it just got so hot in here that I had to...

Yeah.

You've literally never cooked in your boxers before.

Well, first time for everything.

- Okay. - Yeah.

Can I go in?

- Well, look at this. - Oh! Huh.

Cosplay sex? Adrian...

- I had no idea-- - No, I'm a nurse. This isn't cosplay.

Wait, really?

Really.

Weren't you just picking something up?

How long's this been going on? Why wasn't I updated?

I mean, it's only our first or second date.

Why didn't you mention she was your ex?

Well, I thought you knew. I mean, you've met each other.

- Adrian... - Yeah?

I would very much appreciate it

if you could give me ample warning before she meets Jesper,

since she knows nothing about his allergies and sleep habits,

or that he's being assessed for ADHD.

So I think it's a good idea to not introduce him to all of your new...

mmm...

This is only just our first date, like he said.

It would be nice if you'd add it to the shared calendar

so I'll know when you have...

visitors.

Mm-hm. I'll do that.

- Does she have the door code? - No, of course not.

Hi, I'm right here, guys.

I think I should just go ahead and book another session with the family therapist,

so we can set some clear boundaries right from the get-go.

Okay. Yeah.

- Hm? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, when would be good for you, Johanne?

- Johanne? - Adrian.

Hello?

Maria?

Maria?

Bo?

Bo?

I'M STARTING LATE TOMORROW SO YOU CAN SLEEP IN. BO

You ask me if I can see Jupiter From the beach

HERE'S A DUST MASK IN CASE IT GETS TOO DUSTY IN THE APARTMENT. BO

I say Yeah, did you know that these stars

Take a million light-years to reach?

HOPE YOU LIKE THE FLOORING. I'M LAYING IT TOMORROW EVENING. BO

Now we're dancing In Lisbon on New Year's Eve, ah

No way.

ARE YOU COOL WITH A BUILT-IN FRIDGE? BO

And we'll go search for footprints Of dinosaurs by the coast

I WILL GET THIS DONE BEFORE CHRISTMAS. GOOD NIGHT! BO

And we'll laugh about how we'd go

Months without talking Not even that long ago

Now I wake up beside you Each morning, ah

I know which way Your bed hair is falling, ah

I never thought I would be calling you mine

We'll sit in the car watching Surfers fall off their boards

And we'll talk about somethings And nothings

For maybe just one hour more

And we lied when we said "One more bottle of wine"

'Cause now I wouldn't mind Getting married tonight