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And now, ladies and gentlemen, we return
you to America's leading sex therapist
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on radio, Lawrence Nightingale.
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00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:18,660
That was a great tape sent in by a
listener. An authentic recording of her
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00:00:18,660 --> 00:00:23,600
anal experience when she accidentally
mixed up the KY with the Bengay.
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00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:25,680
Who's next?
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00:00:31,060 --> 00:00:34,100
I have a problem, and I'm sick about it.
7
00:00:34,620 --> 00:00:37,120
Well, Florence Nightingale makes sick
people feel better.
8
00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:39,360
I've got to give some head right away.
9
00:00:39,580 --> 00:00:40,479
Right away?
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Yes. Why?
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I have a lunch date.
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00:00:43,940 --> 00:00:48,700
And if I don't give some head right
away, before I reach the table, I know
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going to overeat.
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Ah, yes.
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The modified scars, Dale.
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Anybody out there in a hurry for some
head?
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00:00:59,150 --> 00:01:03,390
Stay tuned while our guest number eight
has a light late morning snack to the
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rhythms of a hustle.
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That's beautiful.
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You are listening to Lawrence
Nightingale, radio's leading sex
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Thank you.
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See you later.
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00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:23,420
I thought this was going to be the most
difficult letter I would ever have to
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write. But the Wall Street Journal in my
face this morning suddenly made it one
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of the easiest.
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00:09:32,380 --> 00:09:35,740
This is the day on which I'm going to
finally belong to myself.
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00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:41,360
The day when I won't have to say when
you come home, hello pumpkin, and then
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kiss you all over.
29
00:09:42,740 --> 00:09:46,120
You know, I don't like saying hello
pumpkin anymore.
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00:09:46,910 --> 00:09:50,010
It sticks in my throat, like so many
things these days.
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00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:52,930
I used to like to say it, but not
anymore.
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00:09:53,890 --> 00:09:55,330
Want to know what I'm going to do?
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00:09:56,150 --> 00:10:00,870
Well, to begin with, I'm going out
without any panties on for the first
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my life.
35
00:10:01,830 --> 00:10:04,170
And at 10 o 'clock, my day truly begins.
36
00:10:04,430 --> 00:10:08,570
I have an appointment for an intimate
interlude with, would you believe it,
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another woman.
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00:10:10,470 --> 00:10:14,390
I answered an ad in one of those
newspapers, the kind where the ink
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smudges. I will have one hour from 10 to
11 to be with her.
40
00:10:18,860 --> 00:10:22,880
Did you ever suspect what evil thoughts
lurk in the hearts of housewives?
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00:10:23,580 --> 00:10:27,020
I don't really know if I can pull this
off, but I'm going to try.
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00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:30,320
I don't know if you'll understand, but I
hope so.
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I want to feel free.
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Can't say when and if I'll be home.
45
00:10:35,020 --> 00:10:36,020
Don't wait up.
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Find me.
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I love
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you.
49
00:16:09,870 --> 00:16:11,410
Honey, what time are you coming home
tonight?
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00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:12,930
Early.
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00:16:13,330 --> 00:16:16,250
When I do, I'm going to bring you
something special.
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00:16:23,330 --> 00:16:24,189
Bye -bye.
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00:16:24,190 --> 00:16:25,190
See you later.
54
00:17:35,050 --> 00:17:38,090
I make the appointment for 10 o 'clock.
Oh, yes.
55
00:17:39,930 --> 00:17:41,830
Now, what can I do for you?
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00:17:50,350 --> 00:17:51,350
You're married.
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00:17:53,830 --> 00:17:54,830
Yes.
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00:17:55,470 --> 00:17:56,470
You're bored.
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00:17:58,610 --> 00:17:59,610
Yes.
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00:18:00,670 --> 00:18:02,710
Bill, you haven't tasted life.
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I want to be free.
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You are free.
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00:18:08,370 --> 00:18:10,030
Haven't you ever heard of Abraham
Lincoln?
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Relax.
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00:18:16,450 --> 00:18:22,710
I want to have an experience with...
with someone of the same sex.
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00:18:23,790 --> 00:18:25,130
You seem too nervous.
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00:18:25,750 --> 00:18:26,950
That's because I am.
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Go put your things over there.
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00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:06,480
Relax. My astrologer was right.
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00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:08,120
She was?
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00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:09,680
Yes.
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00:19:10,340 --> 00:19:13,300
She said I'd get turned on by the first
person I met today.
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I excite you.
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00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:22,240
Yes.
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00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:25,360
I think it's your hair.
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00:19:44,810 --> 00:19:45,950
You're getting me all nervous.
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00:19:46,770 --> 00:19:49,270
Really? You're nervous?
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00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:06,320
Oh.
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00:22:39,690 --> 00:22:40,690
Oh.
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It's time for the Florence Nightingale
show, cream of the crop. Cream of the
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00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:25,660
crop? We now return you to the Florence
Nightingale show.
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Hey, listen.
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00:24:27,500 --> 00:24:28,720
You're still very tense.
84
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:33,400
Why don't you go see Florence
Nightingale? She might be able to help
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00:24:33,780 --> 00:24:35,960
I bet she could be just the one for you.
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00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:37,760
You can tell her Betty sent you.
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00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:41,020
Don't be discouraged.
88
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:42,320
When can I see you again?
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00:24:42,820 --> 00:24:44,340
Tonight? No.
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00:24:44,780 --> 00:24:45,780
No, not tonight.
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00:24:46,180 --> 00:24:47,820
My boyfriend's coming back tonight.
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He has first refusal rights after six o
'clock.
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00:25:13,729 --> 00:25:14,729
Lawrence Nightingale.
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00:25:15,870 --> 00:25:18,430
What? How do I know so much about crabs?
95
00:25:19,070 --> 00:25:20,770
I learned about them from scratch.
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00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:47,680
Number nine.
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00:25:52,460 --> 00:25:53,800
Now, what can I do for you?
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00:25:54,140 --> 00:25:58,340
Miss Nightingale, ever since I heard
your voice, I've wanted to fuck you in
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ass.
100
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:01,200
Sure, baby.
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00:26:01,700 --> 00:26:05,020
How can I refuse a smooth talker like
you?
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00:26:11,610 --> 00:26:15,390
Florence Nightingale will now be well
-reared by guest number nine.
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00:26:21,670 --> 00:26:24,510
Oh, yeah.
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00:26:26,250 --> 00:26:27,250
Oh,
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00:26:28,070 --> 00:26:35,210
I'm
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00:26:35,210 --> 00:26:36,770
getting fucked in the ass.
107
00:26:52,620 --> 00:26:53,620
Thank you.
108
00:28:07,620 --> 00:28:09,640
I think he's coming.
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00:28:57,040 --> 00:29:00,600
to play a tape for you from a listener
who had a celebration dinner when she
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became a slave first class with six
merit badges this is her tape as she
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00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:12,180
with the gag in her mouth and the gag's
been soaked in dr pepper's diet soda
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00:29:12,180 --> 00:29:19,000
that's going a little too far so
whatever you're doing now take
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a break from the day's tension sit down
and relax the punishment of a naughty
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girl
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Don't say blowjob.
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Why not?
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Makes it sound too much like work.
118
00:33:13,940 --> 00:33:18,040
Anyway, listeners, I've had this itch in
my throat all morning, and it just
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won't go away.
120
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:25,520
Ladies and gentlemen, Florence
Nightingale will scratch an annoying
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It's delicious.
122
00:33:59,830 --> 00:34:01,590
I can't wait to get you home.
123
00:34:02,110 --> 00:34:03,770
I'm gonna kick the shit out of you.
124
00:34:31,850 --> 00:34:34,489
Like hot needles, stick them under your
skin.
125
00:34:49,889 --> 00:34:52,909
Then I'm gonna take cigarette butts and
burn you a thing.
126
00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:12,880
You're really into this.
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00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:17,260
They don't call me the swallow of
Capistrano for nothing.
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00:35:18,340 --> 00:35:21,380
I'm going to bite you so hard like my
nipples you're going to scream.
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00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:22,520
Oh,
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I'm going
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00:35:29,340 --> 00:35:30,340
crazy.
132
00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:34,120
Relief is better swallowed away.
133
00:36:15,310 --> 00:36:18,390
I'd love to kiss you and stick my tongue
in your mouth.
134
00:36:19,490 --> 00:36:21,950
What are you, some sort of perverted
jerk?
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00:36:22,290 --> 00:36:25,070
What do you think I am, just a sex
object?
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00:36:25,770 --> 00:36:26,950
Jesus Christ.
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00:36:29,890 --> 00:36:30,990
Number 19.
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00:36:31,350 --> 00:36:35,970
We now have a regular guest back with us
to relate a story that proves the old
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00:36:35,970 --> 00:36:41,510
adage, it's all in one's mind. I have a
really fascinating story to tell.
140
00:36:42,370 --> 00:36:43,430
We're all ears.
141
00:36:43,830 --> 00:36:50,390
Well. It was a beautiful sunny day, and
these two joggers are jogging along, and
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00:36:50,390 --> 00:36:52,730
they came along, these two bicyclists.
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00:36:52,970 --> 00:36:56,070
Well, you won't believe what happened
then.
144
00:38:09,740 --> 00:38:13,260
And so you might say they live happily
ever after.
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00:38:18,580 --> 00:38:21,540
I just love stories with happy endings.
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00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:22,840
Number 25.
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00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:25,900
Is anyone here holding number 25?
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00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:29,000
If you are, please raise your hand.
149
00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:44,280
I have a problem.
150
00:38:44,460 --> 00:38:45,920
Not anymore, you don't.
151
00:38:47,220 --> 00:38:49,020
I went to see Betty.
152
00:38:50,260 --> 00:38:51,680
Oh, yes, I love.
153
00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:53,980
Well, that didn't work out too well.
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00:38:54,500 --> 00:38:56,200
Although I tried, I really did.
155
00:38:56,540 --> 00:39:01,760
She said I was too nervous and tense and
that perhaps to be really free, I
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00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:05,660
should come and see you. And, well, here
I am.
157
00:39:06,500 --> 00:39:07,800
Perhaps I made a mistake.
158
00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:12,660
Why don't I just go? No, don't go. It
wouldn't be kosher.
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00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:16,240
Folks, here's an example of an
unendangered species.
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00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:18,840
The housewife with an urge for
adventure.
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00:39:19,260 --> 00:39:22,740
An urge that usually starts to fade as
the sun goes down.
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00:39:23,540 --> 00:39:25,440
Do you want to know if you're really
serious?
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00:39:26,220 --> 00:39:30,740
Try to go to a public bar and fuck the
first guy that comes on to you. You
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00:39:30,740 --> 00:39:31,740
you could do that?
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00:41:28,220 --> 00:41:32,380
Hello? Hi, baby. I'd like you to come
over and suck my cock.
166
00:41:32,700 --> 00:41:36,520
I can't hear you. I said come over and
suck my cock.
167
00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:37,840
What did you say?
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00:41:38,020 --> 00:41:41,000
I said come over and suck my cock.
169
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:42,380
Can you talk louder?
170
00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:44,760
Come over and suck my cock.
171
00:41:45,100 --> 00:41:49,160
Say that again. I can't hear you. Come
over and suck my cock.
172
00:41:49,460 --> 00:41:50,620
I can't hear you.
173
00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:53,720
This is the operator, and I can hear him
perfectly.
174
00:41:54,280 --> 00:41:56,560
Well, then you go over and suck his
cock.
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00:42:55,830 --> 00:42:56,689
What'll it be?
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00:42:56,690 --> 00:42:57,830
I'll have a running coat.
177
00:42:58,770 --> 00:42:59,770
You got it.
178
00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:06,680
Bye.
179
00:48:09,710 --> 00:48:10,710
Oh.
180
00:48:47,920 --> 00:48:48,920
Thank you.
181
00:49:40,650 --> 00:49:41,650
Thank you.
182
00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:27,840
Thank you.
183
00:51:43,790 --> 00:51:45,490
Oh, man.
184
00:52:36,319 --> 00:52:39,120
Thank you.
185
00:53:12,189 --> 00:53:14,990
uh oh
186
00:59:21,759 --> 00:59:24,560
Thank you.
187
00:59:40,040 --> 00:59:41,040
Peace.
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01:03:13,290 --> 01:03:14,290
oh
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01:11:17,960 --> 01:11:19,300
take you home to meet those ladies.
190
01:12:19,950 --> 01:12:21,070
something special, didn't I?
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01:12:21,830 --> 01:12:22,830
That she is.
192
01:12:25,110 --> 01:12:26,770
How about you, babe? Okay.
193
01:12:28,350 --> 01:12:29,350
Missed you.
194
01:12:29,550 --> 01:12:30,550
Missed you too.
195
01:12:31,670 --> 01:12:32,670
Hey,
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01:12:34,070 --> 01:12:35,630
come on and join us, will you? Come on.
197
01:12:54,000 --> 01:12:55,000
Come on, pumpkin.
198
01:12:55,440 --> 01:12:56,419
That's a fun.
199
01:12:56,420 --> 01:12:58,720
Hey, don't just stand there. Come on.
Come on down.
200
01:12:59,380 --> 01:13:01,700
Come on. I mean, you said you wanted a
new experience.
201
01:13:02,040 --> 01:13:06,460
Hey, here's an experience for you. Hey,
come on. What's the matter? Come on
202
01:13:06,460 --> 01:13:07,459
down.
203
01:13:07,460 --> 01:13:10,200
Come on, let's take a look. That's fine.
Maybe you should go get her.
204
01:13:11,840 --> 01:13:12,659
Come on.
205
01:13:12,660 --> 01:13:14,600
Come on. Let her go.
206
01:13:42,730 --> 01:13:44,250
Come on and join us. Come on, Dolly.
207
01:13:44,670 --> 01:13:46,090
Let's have some fun, huh?
208
01:13:46,690 --> 01:13:47,690
Oh, yeah.
209
01:13:48,210 --> 01:13:49,210
Oh.
210
01:13:51,490 --> 01:13:52,550
Hey, where are you going?
211
01:13:52,810 --> 01:13:53,810
The tears sucked.
212
01:13:55,890 --> 01:13:56,970
What the hell got into her?
213
01:14:00,710 --> 01:14:01,830
What about something we said?
214
01:14:41,710 --> 01:14:43,210
On the left side. On the left, please.
215
01:15:47,470 --> 01:15:48,470
pumpkin.
216
01:23:17,580 --> 01:23:18,580
Uh -huh.
217
01:24:43,080 --> 01:24:44,440
Honey, what was in that note?
218
01:24:45,360 --> 01:24:48,020
Nothing. Just a shopping list. Oh.
219
01:24:49,680 --> 01:24:51,120
Did you buy anything?
220
01:24:51,740 --> 01:24:52,740
No, nothing.
221
01:24:53,320 --> 01:24:56,060
Tried some things, but they didn't fit.
222
01:25:42,120 --> 01:25:46,440
Hello, this is Florence Nightingale on
one of my newest therapy tapes.
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01:25:46,680 --> 01:25:51,620
Tonight, after we practice our self
-abuse exercises, we're going to listen
224
01:25:51,620 --> 01:25:57,160
one of our favorites, the Mormon
Tabernacle Choir, singing the Battle
225
01:25:57,160 --> 01:25:58,160
the Republic.
15300
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