Original subtitles

BASED ON QUITE A FEW REAL EVENTS

SIMILARITIES WITH REAL PEOPLE ARE NOT ALWAYS PURELY COINCIDENTAL

You must have heard that the flap of a butterfly's wings

can cause a storm on the other side of the world.

This story is also about a butterfly.

But it never actually flapped its wings.

But first, I have to tell you

how many idiots I have to deal with here every day.

This guy here, Junior. He likes to smoke pot while working.

And later, he'll tell us he has a prescription from Dr. Burgener

because of his fear of heights.

Bullshit. Everyone knows that he just likes to blaze.

But when handling heavy machinery, this stuff is really not recommended.

What have you done, you little asshole? Were you smoking pot again?

And that's me in the awesome ride. Bax.

If I hadn't been sleeping in my car all week,

and had a haircut, I'd look a bit better.

But, hey, crime never sleeps.

Junior, come to my office, immediately!

And there's something else you need to know.

If you wanna fuck around on the wrong side of the law,

then we'll probably run into each other someday.

...searches the internet for a suspect?

Or when Gerda hits the bullseye during target practice?

Always according to our motto, "A friendly cop is a respected cop."

I don't know what's wrong with you.

- That's great! - Your cantonal cop.

Yeah, I don't know if he's gonna like the "cop" thing.

It's young and bold,

and Dad really wants to reach young people through TikTok.

Am I right, my little tiger?

You gave it your all again.

But Bax, can he really drive that well?

Hey, you know him, he always thinks life's a Hollywood movie.

Why don't you go grab a beer together after work?

That surely wouldn't hurt. Bye!

See you later!

- Hello, Mike! - Hello, Mrs. Lötscher!

What do you want, fucking cop?

Fuck, this damned knee.

Valmira, you won't believe what just happened!

I just went to the boss.

No. Wait now.

I'm supposed to get him pot for ten grand.

No. I swear! Cash payment!

Fricker has no clue of the market prices.

Five grand profit for us!

With that money, we can finally produce your rap album.

Yes, I know. Yes, we need a pilot.

I've been hot on their tails for over two months now.

They bring stuff across the border.

Here a 20, there a 50, but now, they want to join the big leagues.

- Yeah... - Something's up, I can smell it.

Why don't you talk it over with him? Exactly.

Crazy, isn't it?

No, I saw it on the news. I'm in Valais now.

Nothing big. Internal investigations...

At a small station.

Well, it's very Valais.

Have you called him yet?

I should be back the day after tomorrow.

Yes, exactly. Otherwise, just give me a call, okay?

Bye, Erasmo.

This parking space is for the disabled.

Look, in Valais, they call it, "Parking for people with special needs,"

and I have a special need right now.

And I'm a cop.

Do you want to be there when Frängi hunts down bad guys?

Or when Bax sets a new record in pursuit training?

When Peter searches the internet for a suspect?

Or when Gerda hits the bullseye during target practice?

For safety in our streets, our country...

And mountains.

And I chase criminals.

Gerda, I've got them, the stoners.

Come on, I really have them this time!

Don't you understand that I need some space?

Gerda, this is not about us. It is purely professional.

- This is something for the history books. - Come on. Again?

You always see the next big case in everything.

I'm working with Frängi now. Get it into your head.

Frank Cina.

IQ somewhere between 25 miles per hour and the urban area speed limit,

loves bikini girls and guns.

That's why he's already banged every chick in the station,

except my ex.

Gerda. It's just like I said,

the stuff's coming in from across the border and they're--

Yes. Gerda thinks I'm too impulsive

and that I didn't do enough for our relationship.

BAX IT'S OVER!

Baloney.

BELIEVE IN WHAT IS NOT YET SO THAT IT CAN BECOME

I think she just didn't believe in us enough.

Because good cops have to go beyond their limits sometimes.

Your cantonal cop.

NOW ALSO ON TIKTOK

A good cop has to go beyond his limits sometimes?

Yeah, I thought the young people--

"Cop"? I never want to hear that word again.

I really don't know how any of you can come up with such a stupid idea.

A good policeman knows where his limits are,

and doesn't go any further. Never.

But the shots are great.

Well, not all of them, but the aerial ones.

It's unbelievable what can be done with today's technology.

Well done, Pirmin.

Yes, the aerial shots were actually taken by Patrick with his drone.

Very nice, Patrick. How do you like it here with us?

Patrick. Our new trainee from Zurich.

UH.. HELLO

Alongside his funny dialect, he also flaps his tongue weirdly.

That is, when he speaks. That's why we call him "Butterfly."

Well, it's been great so far. I've been well received. It's a...

Oh, dear, here we go again.

Luckily, Pirmin has to take care of this dweeb.

...and I also want to thank you personally again--

Okay. Thank you.

Edit this for me, and put it on that Tic Tac.

And for the next few days,

we have a special guest here at the station.

Ms. Brotz?

Ms. Brotz is here in Valais on behalf of the federal police

to make a few inquiries.

She'll be in room E2, on phone 74.

So, remember...

- Ms. Brotz? - Thank you very much, Chief Biffiger.

Actually, everything has been said.

Fedpol routinely visits various local police units at random.

After tomorrow, this should be over.

I have already had the pleasure of meeting certain individuals.

I look forward to working with you. Thank you.

Your package from the forestry office.

Frängi, they caught you again.

Twenty over the speed limit?

- You could've made a prettier face, Gerda. - I told you there was a radar trap.

Bax already got caught three times in that turn.

I heard it's not only in the turns that you come too fast.

Every time a cop is caught in a speed trap,

he has to put ten bucks in our piggy bank,

and when it's full, we throw a radar party.

This year, we were in the Pfynwald forest,

and yes, it got a little out of hand.

Can you be a little less obvious? Why do you think she's here?

I told you,

"What happens in the Pfynwald stays in the Pfynwald."

Hey, take a look at her YING profile.

She first trained as a cook,

did applied psychology in Fribourg, a master's degree in Princeton,

and has now opened a podiatry practice in Bad Ragaz.

- Peter, this isn't her. - She has completely different hair.

But there is a certain similarity.

Fedpol recruits for the Edelweiss team, doesn't it?

- The special unit? - Yes, what else?

The ones who get called out when something big happens.

Bomb threats, hostage situations, ten kilograms of coke.

Only the best of the best.

Well, that rules out her being here for you.

Put a sock in it, Frängi.

Bax, can you still use your hand to...

Jerking off is difficult,

but I'm sure my hand can take a few punches to your face.

Bax, come to my office.

And can someone make Mrs. Brotz a coffee?

Jesus, Maria.

Look, he just provoked me, and now, he's out with Gerda.

He's taking full advantage.

When will you come bowling again?

You know, the Valais Trophy is in three weeks.

The Albins have brought in a Russian,

Olga Petrinova, used to be a Russian national bowler.

They shoved 50,000 bucks up her ass, gave her an apartment and tax reductions.

If things go on like this, we'll never hold on to the trophy.

Look, a little distance from Gerda would do you good.

Now I have to hear it from you too?

The doctor says I have to wait another six weeks...

but he also said that maybe I should see a psychologist.

- Well-- - But I'm busy with those stoners anyway.

I want you to drop those two dealers for now.

What? No. I'm on the verge of a breakthrough.

This morning, they were pushing 10,000 francs--

Enough. Stop. I don't want to hear any more about it.

- Diego-- - It's not the right time.

But I can feel it. The right time is now!

As long as the Fedpol lady is here,

you're gonna sit on your ass. That's an order.

Why? Isn't it good if stuff happens while she's here?

Internal investigations are never a good sign.

We have to keep our heads down and not attract attention.

For heaven's sake! This was a gift from my wife.

If I'd kept my head down back then, you wouldn't be sitting here now.

Rappaz was our biggest catch at the time.

Fifty tons of weed, six years on probation.

And it was me who uncovered the whole thing.

Diego comfortably surfed along on my wave, from private to captain.

Lucky break, I'd say.

You know, Bax, a case like Rappaz

only happens every 100 years or so in Valais.

You were still young. A young hound dog.

You smelled blood.

But times have changed.

In the old days, they still let us do things our way.

Back then, Fedpol didn't come running just because of a radar party.

Excuse me. I'm looking for the zebra song tape.

- Do you have it? - Exactly.

Bax, Pirmin. In the afternoon, I want you to do the road safety training together.

- What? - What?

Hey, I'm a cop, not a babysitter!

And I've got enough on my hands with Patrick.

- With this one-- - Quiet, or you can go wash the cars.

And take Patrick with you so he sees how it's done.

Bax...

keep your head down.

If you want to sit here one day,

you must learn to deal with situations just like this.

Make sure he doesn't screw things up.

Salvatore?

Sure, he tells us, "Non-stop to the final destination,"

while he's feasting in the Osteria Francescana, fresh fish,

carne cruda, tramezzini, lasagna.

How can you work if your brain's out of energy?

Your underdeveloped brain needs only a quarter of the energy mine does.

You haven't said a damn thing since Milan!

And since when are you interested in reading damn Machiavelli?

I started reading him once too.

- It's quite complicated-- - We're almost there.

THIS COP IS TOP

DISTINGUISHED SERVICE AWARD

Yes, it's really difficult to find a good pilot.

I got out there and leaned against the car.

Where the fuck is that little bitch?

He'll show.

We just have to stay cool now.

I am fucking cool.

But I do wonder how you're going to manage me

when I have to wait for people. It should be the other way around.

People should have to wait for me.

Next up, Valmira. She wants to be a German rapper.

Spent a few months in jail for allegedly poking out someone's eye,

because he pushed her with a bumper car.

Romi, Claudi, they know how to manage someone.

They took a course in St. Gallen.

Wow. Dope. They can assert themselves,

and they even go to the gym. Maybe I'd better work with them.

Hey, what make is your car?

Fiat Panda. Why?

Sittin' in the Panda Dollar bills, makin' money

Tomorrow Gucci, Prada, Rollie, ra, ra...

Ready?

I don't know.

Oh, come on. Forget the mustache.

So far, I've only made coffee and changed printer cartridges.

We both know you're overqualified,

and I really do have a good sense for talent.

When I watch talent shows on TV, I always know who's going to win.

Pietro Lombardi.

Before he opened his mouth, I knew he was going to win.

But I can't even speak the Valais dialect.

There won't be any need for tea party chitchat.

Just go in there and say,

"Hello, everybody, I am Butterfly, I am the pilot!"

Say it.

Hi, everyone, I'm Butterfly, I'm the pilot.

Hello, everybody, I "am" Butterfly, I "am" the pilot.

- I am Butterfly, I am the pilot. - Again.

- Hello, everybody. - Hello, everyone,

I am Butterfly, I am the pilot.

- Hello, everybody. "Everybody." - Hello, everybody.

Everybody, with "body" at the end.

- Hello, everybody. - "Everybody."

Hello, everybody, I am Butterfly, I am the pilot.

- "I am the pilot." - I am the pilot.

Yeah! There you go!

You're a natural. I told you so.

Back then, with Rappaz,

I was your age, and I almost shit my pants too,

but look where I am now, what I've achieved.

You can do that too.

Really?

Yes. You are my little Pietro Lombardi.

Give me your thigh.

Your leg.

Patty Schnyder.

But, Bax, I've never handled a gun.

I haven't even had my first firearm training.

Look, that's just a backup.

Those two are low-brainers. They're not dangerous.

And if anything should happen, I'm right here. Check, check.

What I didn't tell him,

that the chick has a criminal record that would put a phone book to shame.

For all those younger than 12,

phone books used to have all the phone numbers in them.

Huge doorstoppers.

And remember...

my future is in your hands.

So, don't fuck it up.

Close the door. It's cold.

Take it easy. You can do it.

He was stirring petrol.

I think that's him.

Now, you say it.

Hello, everyone, I'm Butterfly, I am the pilot.

What?

I can tell from a mile away that he has Asperger's.

Or what? Are you a fucking cop?

- No. I am the pilot! - Yes, very good, very good.

Yes, a little Asperger's never hurt anyone.

Especially when it comes to flying.

He has the most experience, 4.5 out of five stars.

Butterfly69. A little bit of Photoshop magic,

upload it to Silk Road, and those idiots booked him.

So, sit down.

Yes, we've got a foot in the door. Sit down, please.

And stay cool.

How much can you carry?

Say something, like "three kilograms."

About three kilograms.

Ragazzi, everything okay?

What can I bring you?

Just order anything. I don't give a shit. Say "apple spritzer."

- One apple spritz, please. - Apple spritzer, apple spritzer!

Apple spritzer, please.

He even has a speech impediment?

Everything okay? How was the pizza?

- Great. - Siguro. Va bene. Grazie.

- Can we pay now? - Sure.

Look at them more seriously. Look at them angrily. Go on.

Now ask, "What's it about?"

What it's about-- What's it about?

Shit, that was close.

Two hundred for the flight. That's all you need to know.

"What?" Ask what it's about!

We need to know "exactly."

- We have to know exactly-- - No, not "we"!

- "I" have to know exactly. - I need to know exactly

- what do I have to transport? - Yes, exactly.

A little more of this.

- "What is it?" - What is...

- "What is it?" - What is it?

Butterfly, I need this on tape!

Attention, attention. Frängi's pizza Tuesday.

Which pizza do you want?

- We need this on tape-- - No!

- What? - What do I have to transport?

Don't you see?

Butterfly, focus. What do they want to transport?

This is Biffiger. One quattro stagioni...

What is this?

Ask again. I need to know!

Peter here. One pizza diavola, extra hot.

So, what do you think? Can you carry three kilograms?

Frängi, abort! Now! Frängi, abort! Abort immediately!

Fucking shit.

Hello? I'm talking to you.

Fuck, cops.

Frängi! Hey, Frängi!

Frängi, tell him with extra mozzarella.

- Okay, sure. - Thank you.

Frängi! Come here.

Fuck, what do you want?

Hey, don't enter the tearoom!

You're such a stalker! Gerda, look.

I don't have time for your shit.

Listen, let me get the pizzas.

It's Frängi's pizza Tuesday.

No. No, wait.

- You can take over for me tomorrow. - It's not Frängi's pizza Wednesday.

It's Frängi's pizza Tuesday. And that's sacred for our colleagues.

- They need-- - I'm paying.

Make sure mine has enough bacon and onions on it.

And it stays Frängi's pizza Tuesday. Understood?

Hey, Bax...

you looking for Rappaz?

Not now, Ludi.

Pinotti, can you make this order now, please?

Be right back.

Hey, it's occupied here!

Yes, of course you can say it was a stupid idea

to send the trainee on such an important mission,

but I always say,

"Nobody learns how to swim from the edge of the pool."

Fuck, dude.

Why didn't you check the weather forecast?

And look at my new Balenciagas.

Any idea how much they cost?

The drone has returned to Swiss airspace.

I told you he had it in him. Awesome!

Butterfly, everything okay?

Damn it! You idiot, my book!

What the hell was that?

What the hell are you doing?

Salvatore said, "Non-stop!" I'm going on without you!

Asshole!

What do you mean, "Oops"?

This should actually be glowing green...

Dude, what does "actually" mean?

Given the precarious weather conditions,

it may have initiated an automated safety landing.

Dude, there's fucking merchandise on there worth ten K!

What are you standing around for? Go and find it!

The drone must have got stuck somewhere up in the trees.

Yes, Patrick. This is Pirmin again.

Please call me back as soon as possible. I just want to know where you are.

Just call me back.

- Damn. - Road safety training?

- Yes. Bon appétit. - Thank you.

- You've made a nice video. - Thanks.

By the way, are there any video recordings of your office outing in the Pfynwald?

SEND THE VIDEO... WHAT? DID SOMEBODY MAKE A VIDEO?

- No. Not that I know of. - Okay.

Too bad.

Tell the trainee to get back to me when you see him, okay?

Bax, we're too late! The kids are already waiting!

I'm not coming to that goddamn "road safety" thing.

- What's this? - Pizzas!

No. This.

What does it look like? A mustache.

Today is Frängi's pizza Tuesday, isn't it?

No, it's Bax's pizza Tuesday!

And now, stop busting my balls!

Let me eat my prosciutto mascarpone in peace!

What is this shit?

So, we have to move on. Let's go.

Dude, what do you mean by "Take it easy"?

We were gonna use the money to produce a rap video.

She'll kill me if we...

You remember what I said at the beginning about the butterfly effect.

I really had the feeling

that we would land the next big coup with our trainee.

Back on the front page.

I could finally prove to Gerda that I still had it in me.

Hello, this is Patrick Künzler. I am not available at the moment,

but you're welcome to leave a message after the beep.

I'll call you back when I get a chance.

Goodbye!

But yes, about our butterfly...

Maybe I really did expect a bit too much from a trainee.

If you want to know how Pirmin and I did at the "road safety" training,

and what I have going on with Martina Hingis,

what happens when you hold your hand

in front of a semi-automatic weapon when you shoot,

what was in that damn truck of those two Italians,

how Butterfly's first target practice on the Simplon Pass went,

and where I most enjoy to spread mascarpone,

join us for the next episode of Tschugger.