Original subtitles

(film rolling)

(gentle music) (baby gurgling)

- [Isabelle] Hello, my wee smiler.

- You woke up, didn't you? - You did.

- [Henry] Did you wake up in a good mood?

- Ooh. (woman laughing)

- That's right. - Is your daddy a silly daddy?

Is he a silly daddy?

- [Henry] someone's come to visit you.

- [Isabelle] Do you want to come and see your uncle, Alex?

- [Henry] Yay, where is he?

- [Isabelle] Where is he?

- Look, we've got a visitor.

Oh we've got a visitor.

- Did you see that Alex? He smiled at you.

Yes, you did.

Do you like your uncle, Alex?

You'll be babysitting before you know it.

- Henry, I was thinking we might have

a few quiets this weekend.

Celebrate the upcoming nuptials and new arrival.

- Yeah, I'd love to, but I can't.

Well that money's going on the wedding, mate.

You understand?

Why don't you hold him for a minute?

- I no, I don't think that's a good idea.

- You'll be fine.

- No, I just don't wanna drop him on his head

or something. - Don't be silly, it's a baby.

They don't bite, all right?

- And I don't know how to hold it.

- Just take, take, take him Alex.

- No, this is, okay. - You're so dramatic, mate,

who's got you?

(baby squeaking) Oh.

(baby moaning)

- Isn't he the most adorable thing in the whole world?

(baby moaning)

(alarm buzzing)

(alarm stops)

(mellow guitar music)

♪ You've been working ♪

♪ Overtime ♪

♪ In the galley ♪

♪ Keeping your goal moving ♪

♪ And I'm doing ♪

♪ The party life ♪

♪ From my airplane ♪

♪ Somewhere overhead ♪

♪ What you plan on doing tonight, my friend ♪

♪ I'm thinking of killing someone ♪

♪ Why not, when the hangman is in there ♪

♪ And my getaway is yelling ♪

(liquid bubbling) (mellow guitar music)

♪ These frostbitten feet fail to feel ♪

♪ This rotten wood makes for worthy oil ♪

♪ Grow out, hold tight and tell me do you drug and deal ♪

♪ That and we'll be swept to sea for sure ♪

♪ What you plan on doing tonight, my friend ♪

♪ Well, I'm thinking of killing myself ♪

♪ Why not when you've forgotten how to find my faith ♪

♪ And the edge of the earth is calling me by my name ♪

(alarm buzzing)

(indistinct chattering)

- Hello, it's your MC again.

Sorry, sorry to disturb you.

I'd like to welcome,

welcome the newlyweds to the wedding.

Fuck this.

One, please.

Better make it two.

It's a wedding, you're not paying the tab.

Thank you.

- Oh, sorry.

- Holy shit.

Jenny. - Holy shit.

Alexander.

Hi.

Wow,

your hair has a lot more gray in it.

It's also thinning.

- And you look exactly the same as high school.

Apart from all the wrinkles. - Oh.

- So are you joining the rush to get pregnant?

- Are you kidding me?

I hate kids.

The whole baby making process is just disturbing.

It's like a parasite that grows inside you for nine months

and then almost kills you when it comes out.

- Be honest with me.

Does it ever fully recover?

I mean, I feel like the structural integrity would

just be heavily compromised.

- Ah, I've blocked it out.

I don't wanna sit round talking

about post birth vagina trauma.

- I just feel like it would render my penis

completely ineffectual.

- As opposed to moderately ineffectual?

- Exactly.

- What's going on with your film making?

- Not much.

- Are you working on anything?

- Not really.

- You sound very busy.

- I'm also living with my parents again.

- Oh my God. (laughing)

Do you still have a thing for Stephanie?

- Correction, we still have a thing for each other.

- Oh, what's you hungup with her?

- Have you ever just been with someone

that you intrinsically understand on every level?

That you just totally get

and everything fits together perfectly?

- No.

- All I'm saying is, right now, me and her,

there's no obstacles.

- Well, that guy she's with looks

like a pretty well built obstacle.

- I'm sure they're just friends.

- With benefits.

- Jesus, I forgot how much shit you like to give me.

It's kind of refreshing.

Oh shit, there they are. (audience applauding)

Wish me luck. - Good luck.

(clearing throat)

- Let's all welcome the lovely newlyweds,

Henry and Isabelle.

(audience applauding)

After four happy years and a small baby,

Henry and Isabelle finally decided to tie the knot.

And for Henry to get a vasectomy.

(audience laughing)

But now, it's time for the culmination of our evening,

getting drunk. (audience cheering)

- Yeah! - Woo!

- You need to go to the dance floor

and watch Isabelle and Henry have their

first dance together.

All right, guys, let's go. (audience applauding)

♪ If I can't be ♪

♪ Be your love ♪

♪ Then I'll have to stay a friend ♪

♪ You lead the way ♪

- Congratulations.

Apart from all the sweating, you did really well.

- Where's your date anyway?

Are you single?

- Yes.

- Interesting.

- You?

- Yes.

- Typical.

- I'm kind of in the market for a new best friend.

Interested?

- I actually have best friends already,

but thank you for asking.

- It was worth a shot.

Now if you'll excuse me, destiny calls.

- Hey.

- Hey.

- So.

- So, so, so.

- You were really good.

- Thank you.

- Marriage, huh?

- And kids.

- Terrifying.

- That could've been you.

- What, me and Henry?

I don't think so, that was high school.

- But it does mean-

- What?

- Well, he can't really complain about us.

- Us.

- I'm just saying, I'm here, you're here.

- My date's here too. - Right.

- So that means, us will have to wait a little while longer.

- Well, that's the part I love, the waiting.

I love waiting 10 years.

- I'll text you.

Just an old friend, okay?

(bright music)

(Henry laughing)

♪ So corpses of loved ones live in soil ♪

♪ Some try to fight it ♪

♪ But most just lay down ♪

♪ Don't shake your hands ♪

♪ After saying good night ♪

♪ You're really mine ♪

♪ Just wait out the night ♪

♪ Staring down the time ♪

♪ To the earth between us ♪

- The booze is gone,

the party's over.

What say me and you go back to my place

and night cap the night cap.

- To your parents' place?

- That is where I live.

- Fuck it.

Tonight's been a whole lot more entertaining

than I thought it would be, why not.

♪ I have been searching for what used to be you ♪

(bright harmonica music)

- But if your house was open,

you might've been lying to me.

- I was, why would I lie?

(laughing)

- I guess it was totally dif- - Hi.

- Hi.

- Oh Dad.

Dad, this is Jenny, you remember?

This is Dad.

- You can call me Roy.

- You have a very lovely house, it's beautiful.

- You should try paying the mortgage on it.

Do you know, I remember you.

Gemma. - Jenny.

- Jenny, Jenny.

My, how you've changed.

- All right, Dad, calm down.

- No, no, all I'm saying is that I remember this teenager

who used to come round and visit Alex.

Now I have this beautiful young woman

standing in front of me.

- I'll take you home.

- D'you know, I don't know

why you hang around this lay butt.

We tried to get rid of him 11 years ago,

but look, here he is.

- Thank you, Dad, you can go.

- Oh, I can go, in my own house.

- Oh.

- Oh no, here we go.

- Why, our wayward son has returned and with a guest.

- Jenny, you remember my mum.

- Jenny.

Of course, oh darling.

Nice to see you, haha.

- Okay, can we wrap up this love fest?

I didn't bring her to hang out with my parents.

- I remember you always coming and staying the night

when Alex was about 16.

- How come you two never got together?

- I started dating someone else.

- A stripper.

- She wasn't a stripper when we were going out.

- Ah, well that's a shame.

'Cause you're much too good for him now.

- I know.

- I remember when I first met Roy.

It was at one of those university parties we used to have.

- Yeah, that's right.

I saw your mother from across the room.

My God, she was beautiful.

- Your father was so intense. - Anyway.

Back in the day, if I liked a girl,

I used to stare at her.

I wouldn't take my eyes of her.

Yeah, which is exactly what I was doing.

- He was making me blush.

But I was quite taken with him.

- Eventually, I went over.

And we hit it off.

- And what was it that you were attracted to?

- He was interested in talking about politics and life

and changing the world, and that was just so different

from all the other men I'd been dating at that time.

- Well, I think it's great

that you two found each other and have stayed together.

- I just think it's because we met when we were so young.

- Not everyone can be so fortunate.

- Oh, are we talking about me again?

- No, you're single, because you're living with us.

And you're unemployed. - I'm writing.

- Facebook updates don't count as writing.

- My mum, ladies and gentlemen.

- Alex, it's not all about you.

(Jenny giggling)

- So, this is your room.

It hasn't change much since high school.

- Actually, I just got most of this stuff.

- Ah,

are you tryin' to lure me to your bedroom, get me drunk,

then have your dirty way with me?

- No, you are safe,

It's just that we can't stop drinking,

because if we stop drinking,

then it's hangovers and pain and reality.

And if we keep going,

we might not have to ever face any of it.

- Oh, I will drink to that.

(glasses clinking)

- You are pretty cool. (Jenny giggling)

You are pretty fucking cool.

- Oh, you've only just realized.

- It's more like,

I just remembered that tonight.

- Well you are pretty cool also.

But not as cool as me. - Right.

- But you're definitely not the big shot,

jerk-off filmmaker that everybody says you are.

- No.

I'm more just a jerk-off these days.

(Jenny laughing)

- Correct. (laughing)

- Oh no. - What?

I think I feel those things coming on.

- What things?

- Hang over.

Pain.

Reality.

- How do we stop them?

- Right now?

I could really go for a spoon.

I would spoon the shit out of you.

I would give you the spooning of a lifetime.

- Do it.

(gentle music)

- Good?

Yeah. (sighing)

♪ And you're not already gutting yourself ♪

♪ With your nasty scissors made for all ♪

♪ Sundy's papers, singing ♪

- Alexander, this is your future self speaking.

You've got to stop masturbating so much,

or your penis will wither off like a tiny little raisin

and drop to the ground and be eaten by pigeons.

Alexander, hear my words. (laughing)

I've gotta go.

- You're just going to spoon me and leave me?

- Come by the coffee shop, I'll make you the best coffee.

- Okay.

I got to try and get up and give you a hug.

- Okay.

- No good.

(Alexander hurling)

- I'll just show myself out.

(phone ringing)

- [Stephanie] Hey babe,

sorry I couldn't hang out last night,

but I'm keen to go out with you tonight,

if you're not too old, and pathetic

to handle drinking two nights in a row, that is.

(Alexander hurling)

- Definitely not old or pathetic.

(hurling)

Feel great today.

(hurling)

Totally up for another big one.

(hurling)

(clock ticking)

(dog panting) (gaming music)

(sighing) (spiraling music)

(birds chirping)

(hurling)

Get out of it!

(electric humming)

- Planning on having a big night?

- No.

- Please yes.

It was nice to meet you.

You again.

- Me again.

- You know, I thought after last night

you might not make it.

- Didn't even phase me.

- Good, 'cause that's for you.

- Awesome.

Shots. - Bottoms up.

(mellow techno music)

Come.

Kiss me.

(mellow techno music continues)

Have some.

Alex, you need to stop overthinking everything and just be.

(snorting)

(clapping)

You're supposed to do one up each nostril,

not with that one.

- Why?

- Well, now you're gonna have a lopsided buzz.

- Oh fuck. (laughing)

(sniffing)

(giggling) (mellow electronic music)

- Come on.

(electronic music continues)

(electronic humming)

How do you feel?

- Good.

- Good.

♪ My nights are stormy ♪

♪ Can't ignore myself ♪

♪ Among the lies of white ♪

♪ Are you tired of me ♪

- Aren't you worried?

- About what?

- About all this?

The lifestyle, modeling,

people paying you all that attention.

One day soon, it'll all be gone.

- Well, no one can be prepared for getting old.

- That's what I'm afraid of.

- Why worry?

I mean,

in this moment,

this moment is all that matters.

But what about tomorrow?

- Tomorrow never comes.

- Really it does.

(giggling)

- Are we gonna talk all night.

- I'm nervous.

- So am I.

- Well, you don't look nervous.

- I'm a good actor.

- It's just that there's been all this buildup

and anticipation and talk.

And I feel like if it's not the most amazing,

magical thing in the whole world, you'll think we failed.

- I won't think that.

Besides, we're definitely not sleeping together.

- Good. I mean, I wasn't expecting that we would.

- Good, 'cause we won't.

- Good. - Good.

- Good.

(heavy breathing) (moaning)

- [Alex] Just say the lines, it's a screen test.

- Just say the lines, it's difficult.

Come on, this is stupid.

- [Alex] It's acting.

- You could stand here with me.

- [Alex] I'm the director, I don't act.

- Come on, please, please, please, Alex,

please, please, please.

Please, please, please, please, please.

- [Alex] Okay, just let me get a frame.

- Tommy.

Ever since we met,

I knew there was something there,

It wasn't anything specific.

It was just this, this way you had about you.

And I knew that if you just want to notice me,

if you just want to look into my eyes,

you would see how much I care about everything

that was going on for you

and how I just wanted you to be happy.

And you would know

that we're meant to be together, because I love you, Tommy.

(giggling) Was that okay?

- Yeah.

- Do you want me to do it again?

- No, I think you got it.

- Okay.

Good morning.

- Morning.

- I have to go shower.

- Okay.

So, now what?

- I'll text you.

- Cool.

When?

- Soon, when I'm not so busy.

Some of us have jobs to go to, you know.

Then.

(gentle music)

(clicking)

(escalating music)

(knocking)

- Hi, come on in.

- [Alex] So what are we doing?

- Come in.

Take a seat.

Look what I found.

- Oh no. - Your film.

- Do we have to?

- Yes, we absolutely have to.

And afterwards we can get really stoned.

I can make some really bad food,

it'll probably tastes really good

and we'll probably just laugh.

- You tricked me.

- Yeah.

(gasping) It's you.

It's so cool.

- What is it?

I told you there's nothing there.

(shocking music)

(knocking)

(Jenny laughing)

(footsteps approaching)

(menacing music) (woman screaming)

- Yay!

It was really good.

Oh, come on, you're being too hard on yourself.

There was heaps of funny stuff in there.

- It's a horror film.

- Yeah, well I didn't yawn.

- I guess that's something.

- You can make a funny one next time.

'Cause you know how. (giggling)

- Now can we get stoned?

- Yes.

(gentle ambient music)

(laughing)

(groaning)

- You know, this is so much better

than what I was gonna be doing.

- Crying and masturbating.

- Not necessarily in that order.

Okay.

You know, this is not terrible to look at.

- You are so charming.

- How come you're still single?

- Ah.

- Come on, you can tell me, we're spoon buddies, remember?

- Okay.

I was in a big relationship

and I thought it was going to be until death do us part,

and then one day he didn't wanna be with me anymore.

- Just like that. - Yeah.

He was scared or he was bored

or he wanted something different.

And I'm kind of crazy.

So I guess he kinda got fed up of my kind of crazy.

- You're not that crazy.

- Yeah, but you are kinda crazy,

so you don't recognize crazy.

- Well, I think you're more crazy than me,

yes, but I'm normal.

- Uh-huh?

What about you? Why are you single?

Is it 'cause you're holding out for Stephanie.

'Cause that's kinda nice.

- The thing is I meet girls,

we start dating, everything's great.

And then at some stage I start noticing

their irritating personality traits.

And I start thinking, well, if it's this bad now,

imagine how annoying it's gonna be in 20 years.

And then I panic and then I run away.

- So basically what you are saying is,

you are my ex boyfriend.

- Yeah. - What about your last one?

She seemed nice.

- You mean the Facebook photos of us seemed nice.

- Yeah.

- Well, everyone's Facebook photos seem nice.

That's a problem with our fake digital lives.

Can I ask you a question?

Don't bullshit me.

- Okay.

- On a scale of one to 10, how horny are you right now?

- Honestly?

- Honestly.

- 11.

(gentle music)

(both laughing)

(heavy breathing)

(moaning) (giggling)

(panting)

Whoa, Whoa, whoa.

Cum towel.

- Do you wanna- - Shuffle?

- Shuffle, okay.

(moaning)

- Okay,

got it.

Okay. - Thank you.

- No spillage.

- No spillage.

- I'm just gonna sit here for a while.

It's quite a lot.

- You know, when you cum,

you kinda sound like a English maid

from like "Downton Abbey".

- What? (Jenny giggles)

- Yeah, you sound like you're having it off

with the Butler down in the pantry,

and it's so scandalous, you know,

you're like, ooh, woo, ooh.

- You sound like a cave, man

who's just discovered a fire and it's like, oh.

(grunting) (both laughing)

Okay, if you put this here.

- Good?

- Yeah.

Ooh. - What?

- Some just came out.

- How do you feel?

- Drunk.

Relieved.

Definitely drunk. (Alex chuckles)

So here we are.

- Well, here you are, I'm not here.

I'm back there, happily back there.

- All I'm saying is I'm glad this has happened,

because it's given me a whole new perspective on things.

I hope that one day you can have this feeling.

- And if me and Stephanie were to have a thing.

- Yeah, it'd be fine.

(phone ringing)

- [Jenny] Good morning.

- Yeah, it is.

Is this gonna be weird now?

- Are you going to make it weird?

- No, but I mean, is this like a relationship thing?

- You think because we've fucked so well together

that I think we should be in a relationship together.

You're so sweet.

- Oh, I'm not jumping to any conclusions.

I mean, I didn't really.

Well, I guess I kinda did.

- You can not take offense at what I'm about to say.

- That statement always precedes something deeply offensive.

- Alex, you're an unemployed 29 year old,

who still lives with his parents and masturbates too much.

And it's great to have a new best friend

who cannot get pregnant,

and the sex is better than great.

But when it comes to actual potential boyfriends,

my standards are a little bit higher.

- I feel like I should be deeply insulted,

but you raise some good points.

- I'm gonna wash all the sex off me.

Hey,

coming?

(door opens) (door closes)

- Hello, stranger.

- You know I'm still waiting for a secret boyfriend

to jump out of a room and steal you away.

- There's no boyfriend.

It's just me and you.

- How come it's so hard to get ahold of you?

- Why do you always have to label everything?

- I don't. - You do.

- You're cool if we're not totally exclusive?

- Yeah.

I'm gonna go change.

(gentle ambient music)

♪ Tempt me ♪

♪ Pardon me ♪

♪ Oh and we are ♪

- Hey.

- Hey yourself.

- Hey, babe.

- Hi. - How are you?

- I'm good, thank you.

- You look amazing. - Thank you.

- Doesn't she look amazing, Alex?

- Yeah, I suppose she looks okay.

- I'm sorry, I'm not up to speed here.

- Sorry, sorry, where are my manners?

This is Steve,

and this is Stephanie- - Hi.

- Hi. - and Alex.

- Hey.

- Nice to meet you, Steve.

Is this your boyfriend?

- No, No.

We're just, we're just on a date.

- Oh wow, he's a keeper.

I'm gonna go get a drink

and leave you two besties to catch up.

- No, I mean, I'll go with you.

- It's cool, I'm just gonna be over here.

- Wait a second, I know you.

You're that director from that horror film

that everyone hated.

- Steve, could you get me a Drink?

- Sure, yeah. - Thank you.

So.

- Who's that guy?

- Why?

- Seemed a little bit rude.

You know, I wouldn't go into one of the toilets

that he plumbs and tell him

what a shit job he did with a pipe.

- Yeah, well, he's not a plumber, so.

I got a plumber vibe off him.

- He's a tiler.

- I was close. - Are you jealous?

- Why would I be jealous of Steve?

- Good, because if you were jealous of Steve,

then I would have to be jealous of the fact

that you ditched me to go drinking Stephanie.

- Well lucky none of us are jealous then.

- Yeah, lucky.

- Enjoy your night.

- You too.

(indistinct chattering)

- My friend, Mark, is having a bit of a hard time

at the moment, he really needs me,

so I'm gonna let him crash on my couch.

- Really?

I'm not stupid.

- No, it's not like that, trust me.

So your mood seems to have gone downhill

since Jenny left with her new date.

- Know, right?

I'd just like to take you someplace quiet

where I have you all to myself.

- Not tonight though.

It's been fun.

Hey, I'm gonna be going.

(distant alarms wailing)

(phone ringing)

(gaming music)

- What you doing?

- Nothing.

I said none of your business.

- Tell me! - Get out!

- Ah, Stephanie.

Cute.

Alex, will you draw me something, please?

Please will you draw me something?

- I only draw pictures of people I actually like,

so you've got no chance and don't tell Henry.

- Okay, relax, I won't.

(clicking)

(gentle music) (typing)

(beeping)

(phone ringing)

What?

- So I take it Steve didn't work out for you.

- If Steve worked out for me,

I wouldn't just sleep with him.

He didn't work out for me.

What happened to Stephanie?

- Tonight I didn't make the grade either.

- Ouch.

- Why are you still awake?

- I can't sleep,

Sometimes it just doesn't happen, it's really annoying.

What are you still doing awake?

- Oh, I don't sleep.

I prefer to stay up all night worrying about things.

- Tick.

- I've been trying to tire myself out,

but it's just not the same without someone else.

- What were you thinking about?

- None of your business.

- If it was about me is it still none of my business?

Can I come over?

- Okay.

(door squeaking)

(heavy breathing)

(beeping)

(gaming music)

(knocking) - Busy.

- How you doing?

Good.

Can I help you with something?

- You gonna stay cooped up in your room,

playing video games all day, letting the world pass you by?

- D'you want a turn?

- Look, I knew people didn't react

to your film the way you'd hoped,

but you can't just give up.

- Why not?

- Because you've worked so hard.

Pissing it away over hurt feelings,

that's something you're gonna regret.

And that's coming from somebody that knows.

- Dad, how did you know Mum was the one?

- But I didn't.

One thing led to another and well, shit kinda worked out.

That's it? - Basically.

- But you must have known something.

- Look, how are you gonna know?

I knew that I loved your mother

and I wanted to make a go of it.

And it's worked out for me.

And it's lucky for you.

Otherwise you would've been a stain on my underpants.

- Gross. (laughing)

Alex, your mother and I would like you to move out.

(gentle music)

- What are you doing here so early?

(gasping) Oh no.

- Facebook told me.

- Oh no, you didn't have to.

- I didn't really.

(laughing)

Napkins for your artwork.

- That is funny.

- I also got you a card.

- Ah.

To my new best friend on her birthday.

An important reminder to never grow up

so that you don't become like my old best friend.

That is a load of shit.

(laughing) Thank you.

(door slamming)

Thank you for my birthday present.

- There's one more thing.

- What? - Yeah.

- [Jenny] Did you do that?

- Well, yeah, I mean, a lot

of the other napkins were kind of bringing the place down.

- You know, it's been very difficult to concentrate

at work since we did it.

I'm not usually like this, I've got shit to do.

- We really have to do this more often.

- What about Stephanie?

- We've had that discussion.

We're not exclusive.

- Okay.

Is that a problem?

- No, why would that be a problem?

(phone vibrating)

(phone vibrating)

- Hey Mum, can this wait?

I'll be home in a minute.

- [Mom] No, no, Alex, it's your dad.

- Look, I know what he said about me moving out

and I understand, I do, but-

- [Mom] No, Alex, Dad,

he's gone.

- What are you talking about, gone?

- [Mom] He's dead, Alex.

I don't know, I tried,

I tried to, but there was nothing I could do.

I really tried.

But he's scared, he stopped.

He's dead.

Alex, could you- (Mom fades)

- Alex.

We're so sorry.

- If there's anything we can do.

- Excuse me.

- I'm so sorry.

I don't know what to say.

- Just happened, it was one of those things.

- Is your mum okay?

- She's really struggling.

- And you?

Sorry, I just. (gentle music)

I don't understand that.

(sad music)

Hey.

- It just doesn't feel real.

- I wanna help, but I know that anything

that I do or I say, isn't gonna change anything.

If you want to.

(indistinct chattering) (escalating music)

- I'm sorry, could you just give me a minute?

- Sure.

(sad music)

(Mum crying) - Oh dear.

- I don't know how he's doing,

but I mean, he looks like he's handling it well.

(sad music) (door closes)

- When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.

You will not be burned up.

The flames will not consume you.

Then shall come to pass the saying that is written.

Death is swallowed up in victory.

- I know what it's like to lose someone.

- How do you go on?

- You keep living and one day it's less painful.

And then one day it's not everything that you think about.

- I just wish I hadn't been

such an insufferable prick to him sometimes.

- You mean you wish you hadn't been

such an insufferable cunt to him sometimes.

- What? (laughing)

- There's a smile.

- And how do you know saying

something like that wouldn't just send me over the edge?

- Because I know you, Alex Lucas.

I know you better than you think I do.

But your dad, he loved you very much.

And that's what you should think about, not the mistakes.

- Mum wants to sell the house.

I'm thinking of going back to London, starting again.

- Well, what was the point of coming back then?

You're just gonna have some childhood do-over.

- Don't you spend a lot of your time

wishing you're a kid again?

- No.

Why should I?

- When you were a kid you believed in fairytales

and magic and in the impossible.

There was this amazing adventure waiting to happen

round every corner.

And then you grow up,

and you realize that none of that stuff is real.

Was a lie and we're not invincible.

- Look, I may not believe in fairy tales,

but I believe in me.

You know, I know who I am, and for the most part,

I'm happy because I choose to be.

You know, life keeps happening

whether you want it to or not.

And you can't go backwards.

- Well, it's getting late.

I should go.

I've had enough of being an adult for one day.

- Alex-

- Thanks for being there for me.

You're a good friend.

(sad music) - I'm so sorry.

I hate seeing you like this, it's awful.

Is there anything I can get you?

Say when. - When.

- How come after all these years,

we're still doing this?

- You had other stuff going.

- No I didn't.

- Parties, modeling, you were going out with Henry.

Other guys.

- No.

You're different.

You see through all that bullshit.

I like that about you.

- I was the most obnoxious,

irritating, brutally honest version of myself.

For some crazy reason

You liked me in spite of that.

- I liked you because of that.

(laughing)

- I am really drunk.

Don't listen to me, okay? - Hm-mm.

Are you gonna be okay?

- [Alex] No, but I'll worry about it tomorrow.

- [Stephanie] Alex, I'm always here for you.

I'll always be here for you.

(traffic whirring)

(alarm buzzing)

(zipping) (moaning)

(liquid boiling) (plate clanging)

(alarm buzzing) (liquid bubbling)

(thunder crashing) (typing)

(alarm buzzing) (girl moaning)

(gaming music) (beeping)

(escalating music)

(steal clanging)

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

What the fuck? - Wake up.

- I'm awake, okay, clearly, I'm awake,

I'm talking to you.

- You are coming with me.

- Where?

- We are gonna go on an adventure.

- Can we try a less walkie type of adventure?

- You'll survive. (giggles)

- How do you know about this place anyway?

- 'Cause I don't spend all my spare time

jerking off in my room.

- I also go to the gym.

(gentle music)

(sparklers crackling)

(fire crackling)

(imitating shooting)

What am I doing?

- What are you doing?

- I'm shooting for the moon.

What's that saying?

Shoot for the moon.

If you miss, you'll end up floating aimlessly

through the infinite blackness of the cosmos.

- Tell me what's going on.

When it's night time,

and I see the stars out, I think about how small we all are.

And then I think about my dad

and I think about the people that I care about dying,

and I get scared.

- I know, a part of me feels like it'll be a relief.

- I wish I was more religious.

Maybe then I'd feel better about it.

- So you can be afraid of living as well as dying?

- I guess it doesn't pay to look

too far into the future for anyone.

- I believe there's something else.

- Why?

- Because where else does it all go?

- Where does what go?

- This,

and this, and,

and this.

It can't all just all disappear?

- Can't it?

- No.

I think it's to take on another form.

- So, what does it mean?

- I don't know.

I guess it means that I think

that there is magic in the world

if you're willing to believe in it.

And even if there isn't,

it can't hurt to enjoy the illusion, right?

(gentle music) (fire crackling)

(ambient music)

(clicking)

(ambient music continues)

(typing)

(birds chirping)

- Alex, hi.

Ah, you never answer your phone.

You never pick up your phone.

I guess I'll just wait 'til you get here.

I'll see you soon, I'll see you really soon, okay?

Oh God, okay, bye.

(knocking)

Hi.

- Hey.

- Come in.

- So I was thinking

we could do a "Leprechaun" movie marathon

and we can just have sex

during the boring bits slash films.

I even got the one where he's in the hood.

Okay, some of the films aren't that bad.

- I'm pregnant. - What?

- I'm pregnant.

(chuckling) - That's not something

you should be joking about.

- I'm not joking, I'm serious.

I just took three tests.

- Is it mine?

- Don't.

- Well, are you sure?

- Yes, I'm fucking sure.

- But you're on the pill.

- Well, apparently it's not 100% effective, clearly.

(Alex exhaling)

You gonna say anything?

- When are you gonna abort it?

- When am I gonna abort it?

- You hate kids, I hate kids.

They ruin lives.

I mean, neither of us wanna become a casualty

of a stupid kid like our friends.

I mean, we just had that conversation, right?

- Yeah. - So we agree then.

- No.

I mean, yes, but,

look, I just, I don't know.

It's different.

- How is it different? We have awesome sex together.

That's our thing. That's what we do.

How can we possibly have a kid?

Is that all this is to you?

- Isn't it to you?

- Why are you making this so awful?

Look, I'm just saying that,

you know, maybe this isn't black and white,

maybe this at least deserves some discussion.

D'you wanna keep it?

- No, I'm not saying that.

I'm just saying that this isn't something

that we should be taking lightly.

(sighing)

- And what the hell is Stephanie gonna think?

- Who cares what Stephanie thinks?

- Well, do you think that she's still gonna wanna see me

if she finds out that I've knocked up some other girl?

- Are you really that fucking arrogant?

This has got nothing to do with Stephanie.

This is a complete accident

and I'm just trying to figure out how to deal with it.

You know, just for the record,

Stephanie does not like you as much

as you'd like to think she does.

- And how would you know?

No, come on.

How would you know? What makes you such an expert?

- Because she slept with Henry.

- Yeah, 10 years ago.

- No, like a month ago.

- You're just saying that, because you're jealous.

- No, I am saying this,

because yes, I'm jealous, but,

I'm saying this because you're my best friend.

- And you know this, how?

- Because he told me when I went to visit him.

He's still my friend, Alex.

Even if you have decided

that you can't hang out with him

anymore because he has a family.

- You don't know what you're talking about.

- You don't know what you're talking about.

This isn't one of your stories

and everything isn't gonna turn out

just as you planned.

You know, the reality is Stephanie doesn't give a shit

about you, she doesn't have to.

She knows that just like a faithful dog,

you're gonna come scurrying back

for whatever scrap she chooses to throw your way.

Well, good fucking luck.

- What are you gonna do?

- Don't worry, I won't tell anyone it's yours,

you can go back to pining over Stephanie.

- What, so that's it, you're just gonna keep it?

- I don't know.

But I do know that I never wanna see you again.

So you can go back to your spoiled life

and your imaginary girlfriend, you can just get out.

Get out.

Get out!

You know, when you asked me

if there was anybody that I intrinsically understood

on every level, that person was you, Alex.

And it was obvious to everybody except you.

(door slamming)

(sad music)

(Jenny crying)

- Fuck.

Fuck.

(door closes)

(knocking)

- Alex, hi!

Oh my gosh!

I haven't seen you in ages! It's good to see you!

Come in! - Is Henry in?

- He's working late.

You remember working, don't you Alex?

Come in.

Come on,

take a seat.

He'll be home any minute.

So how are you?

- I've been better.

- Ah, it's always the end of the world with you,

isn't it, Alex?

- Well, this time it really is.

- Yes, I'm sure it is.

We need to find you a nice girl.

You're always so much happier when you're seeing someone.

And food too, you like food.

Let me get you something.

(gasping) This will cheer you up.

And I'll make us coffees. Do you still like mochas?

Okay.

- Can I ask you something?

- Yeah, of course.

- If you knew something about someone

that you really cared about

and this information could hurt

someone else you really cared about,

would you tell them?

- I think that,

I think that sometimes when we really care about someone,

we choose to believe the best in them,

no matter what anybody else tells us,

because otherwise it's too hard to go on.

Here you go.

(door opens)

(door closes)

Hey, hun. - Hey.

- Look who appeared on our doorstep.

- So what's up?

Haven't seen you for a while.

So, you know.

- You just got fucking married.

What the fuck were you thinking?

- What do you want me to say, Alex?

That I'm kind of an asshole?

- No, I just don't understand.

- Isabelle is the nicest person.

- Look, all of this,

is not the fairytale we pretend it is, okay.

You know, we're broke.

We're exhausted.

The baby doesn't sleep.

Issy's completely lost your sex drive,

she's moody as fuck.

Look, I was bored and lonely.

- Why didn't you tell me it was like this?

- Because I hate, I hate fucking admitting it, okay?

You're right.

Sometimes this is unbearable.

Besides we don't hang out anymore.

When was the last time you came over here

and didn't look like you wanna blow your brains out?

- I'm sorry. - Forget it.

Just don't tell anyone, all right?

It might drive me crazy, but I love her.

I learned my lesson.

(waves crashing)

- Hey!

You haven't been replying to my text messages

or my phone calls.

- Yeah, I didn't really feel like it.

- Henry told me, he told you.

- Yeah, he did.

- I'm sorry, we were just really, really drunk.

And we started reminiscing about old times

and one thing lead to another and it just kinda happened.

- Right.

- And I regretted it immediately

and I just didn't know how to tell you,

'cause it just didn't mean anything.

Hey.

- This whole Alex Stephanie thing

that I've built up in my head,

it's kinda just bullshit.

- I was really fucked up and I wasn't thinking straight.

- You don't love me.

You love the idea of me.

- Come on, do you think

that we'd still be doing this after 10 years?

Come on, Alex, please.

(sad piano music)

- It's just a fantasy.

- It's not.

Wait, so what, what?

You're just gonna,

you're gonna stop seeing me.

Don't you get it?

I'm special.

You're never gonna find another me.

You're never gonna have this again.

Oh fuck.

(melancholic music)

(door opens)

- Is Jenny in?

- She's busy at the moment.

- Okay.

Can I get a coffee?

- Look, Jenny's actually said you're not

really welcome here anymore, so I can't actually serve you.

I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.

- No, that's cool, I understand.

- I'm really sorry.

- It's totally fine, sorry.

(faint flight announcing)

(plane engine roaring)

- I can't believe there's only one week left.

What are we all gonna do?

- [Alex] Well, I know what I'm gonna do,

I'm gonna go to film school

and become the next Peter Jackson.

- [Jenny] But what if you don't?

- [Alex] I'm pretty sure it's like my destiny.

What about you?

- [Jenny] I honestly don't know.

- [Alex] Well, don't you think that you should know?

I mean maybe have a plan?

- I don't know.

I think it's kind of nice that I don't have a plan.

- [Woman] What choices these two have had, Bill.

(faint announcing)

(plane roaring)

- We've watched the movie and to be perfectly honest,

it's not great.

However, we do see a lot of potential there,

especially taking into account the

new writing you've submitted.

What I'm saying is, we'd like to represent you,

both as a writer and director.

However, we don't represent artists who live overseas.

So you would have to give us your assurance

that you're making your move a more permanent one.

- [Arthur] Come on.

Would it kill you to say that you have missed me?

so you're still mad, huh?

- Oh, Arthur, I don't care enough about you

to be one way or the other.

- Don't you think back to all the good times?

We had something special.

- It all seems like just a dream now.

- Why? You gotta hold on to your dreams, Kathy.

Close your eyes, let me take you back there.

- To reacquaintancing.

- That is definitely not a word.

So, are you gonna tell me about this film?

- I dunno.

What do you do when your dream comes true

and nothing happens?

Get a new dream, I guess.

- [Kathy] You never liked anything you could have

until you couldn't have it anymore.

- [Arthur] It was a mistake.

I was young and stupid.

- [Kathy] Well, one of those things is still true.

- [Arthur] That must be why I like you.

- Expecting a call, are you?

- Not really.

- So why have you got your head in a phone

when you could be appreciating this?

- What?

- Life.

- I was just hoping to hear from someone.

- Ah, I see.

Hoping to get a call from a girl.

Girlfriend?

- Not exactly.

- Someone you'd like to be a girlfriend.

- Probably not.

- Definitely not if you're standing here

waiting for her to call you.

Smoke?

- I don't smoke.

- Drink?

- No thanks.

- You don't drink, you don't smoke,

you're standing here looking at a phone

that's never gonna ring.

Sounds like a right side cunt to me.

- Maybe will have some of that.

- That's the spirit.

(heaving) A bit strong?

That's an awful accent you have there.

Whereabout are you from?

New Zealand? - Fuck me.

You're a long way from home, mate

What has you over the side of the world?

- I don't know.

- You don't know too much, do you?

- I thought I did.

- Don't feel bad.

Nobody knows anything.

But soon you figure out that the better off you'll be.

Nah, you keep it.

I think you'll need it more than I will.

Do me a favor.

Don't stand around, waiting for the phone to ring.

(airplane roaring) (gentle music)

- Hi.

(knocking)

- Just give me one second.

Look, would you just give me one second to talk please?

- Why?

Why should I?

- Please. - I hate you.

- I know.

I fucked everything up, I ruined it and I'm sorry.

- I don't care that you're sorry.

- Look, I was chasing a stupid fucking dream

about a girl that didn't even exist

when there was someone 10 times better lying in bed

right next to me.

- Fuck you, Alex.

You don't deserve any of my time.

- Can you open the door, please?

- Fuck off!

- I moved out of my parents'.

- So?

You're just gonna run away again when things get too tough,

I know you Alex, you're just a boy.

- So, I tried running away, okay?

You know, when I see a girl with dark brown hair,

I stop and I wait for her to turn,

hoping it's you,

wherever I am.

Not because we'd talk or you'd be happy to see me,

but just so for one moment,

I would catch a glimpse of you in real life.

And I know that's sad and desperate,

but that's how much I miss you.

You know, I used to not get up in the morning,

because I had nothing better to do than sleep.

And now I don't get up because when I dream,

is the only time that I see you,

and we're still together and it's amazing.

And it's so much better than real life

where I fucked everything up and ruined everything.

I just want you to give me a chance.

I wanna have this baby with you.

I know I can do this with you, because I love you.

I do, you mean everything to me.

You know, I thought being a filmmaker

and making movies would make me happy.

And, it didn't.

But you make me happy.

You make me a better person.

And once you told me to get a new dream.

Well, I think you are my new dream.

(melancholic music)

(door opening)

- Why are you doing this to me?

I swore that I was never gonna see you again,

I swore it to myself.

- So?

I swore that I was never gonna grow up.

- I don't even know if I want to be with you.

You know, I don't even know

if two people can be together forever.

- Then don't think about forever,

just be my best friend again.

- You have got so much left to prove.

- I know.

- Don't you fucking hurt me again.

- I won't.

- Okay. - Okay?

- Okay. - Okay.

(gentle piano music)

(gentle music)

(baby moaning)

(baby speaking gibberish)

- Daddy. - Here we go.

Come here, you, oh.

You look terrified.

- Is it that obvious?

- Yeah.

I can't tell who's shitting their pants more, you or him.

(sniffing)

Actually, now I'm pretty sure it's him.

Oh, Issy, he's got a, can you?

I'm with my mate.

- No.

- Ah.

You ever change a nappy before?

Well, mate, this is your lucky day.

Now in all seriousness,

you're gonna be fine.

I've had that look on my face so many times,

you'll be fine, okay?

You'll never sleep again,

but you'll be fine.

Should we go change your bum?

- Yeah. - Yeah, change your bum.

(Jenny chattering) (Jenny laughing)

(gentle music)

Oy, come on.

You're not getting out of it that easy.

(gentle piano music)

(Jenny laughing)