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1
00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:02,759
Get me a background check on Jerry
Bernstein, I need to see his file.
2
00:00:02,760 --> 00:00:05,719
You know someone's actually trying
to access your file right now.
3
00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:08,039
He's hiding something.
I'm sure of it.
4
00:00:08,040 --> 00:00:11,040
We're you disgraced at the NSA
and forced to take the position here.
5
00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:13,679
No.
6
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:14,839
Motherfu... (GRUNTS)
7
00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:16,280
Heard.
8
00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:22,279
Anyway, I'm taking Melissa
up the Orinoco for her birthday,
9
00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:23,799
so that will be nice.
10
00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:25,839
Is it a surprise?
I hope so.
11
00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:27,280
(BOTH LAUGH)
(PHONE CHIMES)
12
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:33,799
There you go.
13
00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:37,239
Oh, no, I don't think those are ours.
Yeah, they are. I ordered these.
14
00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:39,599
Thank you.
Jerry, I can't. I'm on duty.
15
00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:41,399
Dude, come on.
16
00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:42,999
How often do we get to do this?
17
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,239
Huh?
18
00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:46,959
I'm just gonna cut to the chase.
Oh, man, I love this track!
19
00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:51,159
Oh, yeah. So, anyway, as part of
my work at the FBI,
20
00:00:51,160 --> 00:00:54,519
we've been investigating
a few of the officers at the NSA.
21
00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:56,119
Right. Right.
22
00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:58,959
Hey, you want to dance?
Uh, no, not right now.
23
00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:02,999
So, we've just filed a report,
and I hate to do this to you, buddy.
24
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,759
You know what?
Whatever you're about to say,
25
00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:07,239
surely it can wait three minutes.
26
00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:12,359
Jerry. Jerry, please don't make this
more difficult than it already is.
27
00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:15,119
I've been asked to bring you in,
but I'm sure it's just a formality.
28
00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:17,479
Man, I'm in the middle of
my dance here. Come on!
29
00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:20,519
Jerry, whatever you did, I'm sure
the NSA can strike a deal.
30
00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:22,599
Whoo! Man, you still got it.
31
00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:23,919
OK.
Yeah!
32
00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:25,439
Why don't we just go
pay for our drinks.
33
00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:27,679
Yeah, we'll just go.
(LAUGHS)
34
00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:29,559
What? What?
That's my gun.
35
00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:31,519
Yeah.
That's my gun. Jerry.
36
00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:33,679
Jerry. No, no, no, no, no.
Yes.
37
00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:35,199
Jerry.
Let's do this!
38
00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:37,079
Whoo-hoo!
Please, Jerry.
39
00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:38,479
No, no, no, no.
40
00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:40,679
No! Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Jerry, no.
41
00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:43,000
(GUNSHOT)
(SCREAMING)
42
00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:48,879
Oh, God! Is this because
I'm sleeping with Melissa?!
43
00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:50,560
WHAT?!
44
00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:02,519
(BREATHLESSLY) Sorry I'm late.
I overslept.
45
00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:04,559
You look really well, Mary.
Did you have a nice weekend?
46
00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:07,079
Yes. Mum died.
47
00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:09,159
Oh!
Oh, God.
48
00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:11,159
No, it's actually quite nice.
49
00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:14,079
I get to choose my own clothes
and everything.
50
00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:16,399
Well, if that's everything,
51
00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:19,959
I promised the Foreign Office
an update on the Karazamov file.
52
00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:24,200
It seems like there are now concerns
there may be a mole here at GCHQ.
53
00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:36,439
The fuck?
54
00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:39,599
Fortunately, it's not for
any of you to worry about.
55
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:40,919
Just to let you know,
56
00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:43,479
I might be going on a little holiday
57
00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:46,079
after I've made all of Mum's
funeral arrangements.
58
00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:47,159
And when is that?
59
00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:48,799
Well, it was supposed to be
Wednesday,
60
00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:50,559
but then there was
a mix-up at church.
61
00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:53,119
So now I've had to have her
back home for a few days.
62
00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:54,599
How are you storing her?
63
00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:57,639
Because if it gets too warm,
she might explode.
64
00:02:57,640 --> 00:03:01,039
Oh, gosh, well, she's just in
the spare room at the minute
65
00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:03,039
because next-door's dog
kept finding her.
66
00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:05,240
Fantastic. Shall we crack on?
67
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,759
Let me know if you want
a hand with any of that.
68
00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:11,159
My uncle used to run a funeral
parlour back at home.
69
00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:12,359
Really? Wow.
70
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:14,679
He actually invented
a number of techniques
71
00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:17,559
for putting the body into various
shapes when in the coffin.
72
00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:20,719
Will it be an open casket?
Possibly, yes.
73
00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:23,639
And will should be face up?
I hope so.
74
00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:27,120
Yeah. Because he used to do things
like have the person waving like...
75
00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:30,240
Or beckoning you over.
76
00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:34,000
Or like they were trying to
climb out, you know, like...
77
00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:37,159
Ooh.
78
00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:39,559
I was just wondering
if it might be easier to cremate.
79
00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:40,799
How's work?
At home?
80
00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:43,039
Well, no, with a ceremony
and everything,
81
00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:45,119
but I just thought
it could be quicker.
82
00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:48,679
Yes, or you could partially cremate
her and then bury what's left.
83
00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:50,719
It's a bit like starting off
a jacket potato in the microwave.
84
00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:52,680
Somebody's here.
Right.
85
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,399
And?
FBI.
86
00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:59,479
And do they have a name?
Um... Clint Foster.
87
00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:01,080
Oh!
88
00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:08,279
Sorry... it must have been
something I ate.
89
00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:09,719
Sorry, who did you say
was here again?
90
00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:11,959
Clint Foster.
Oh!
91
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,160
Jerry, are you alright?
Uh-huh.
92
00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:22,359
Right. I have no idea who that is.
93
00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:24,519
Did he leave a message?
No, he's in your office.
94
00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:26,640
My off... (RETCHES)
Oh, my God.
95
00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:36,919
You did plant the spy cam
in Jerry's office.
96
00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:37,920
Yeah.
97
00:04:37,921 --> 00:04:39,360
(COMPUTER BEEPS)
98
00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:42,240
Did you turn it on?
99
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:55,359
I see you cropped me out of
our graduation photo.
100
00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:58,880
Did I? What do you want, Clint?
101
00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:02,199
Well, Jer...
102
00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:04,280
Oh, was that your bad toe?
103
00:05:05,280 --> 00:05:06,760
No.
104
00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:10,079
Listen, I know this is awkward.
105
00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:12,759
Not as awkward as you
sitting on my desk.
106
00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:14,120
Jerry.
Clint.
107
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:16,719
Jerry.
Clint.
108
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:18,079
When...
Clint.
109
00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:19,319
Jerry.
Clint, what?
110
00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:20,719
Just be...
We need to talk.
111
00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:23,839
No, you don't tell me what to do.
First, get off my desk.
112
00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:25,719
Stand... There you go.
113
00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:26,720
OK.
114
00:05:26,721 --> 00:05:31,559
And now I want you to shut the door
and come inside your office.
115
00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:34,199
No. You know what?
We need to swap places.
116
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:37,000
One, two, three, swap.
117
00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:42,319
Now get the fuck out of my office!
118
00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:44,639
Jerry! Jerry!
Go on!
119
00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:47,719
Jerry. We need to talk.
You get the hell out of here.
120
00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:49,559
OK? I never want to see you again.
121
00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:52,599
What's going on?
You want to tell her, Clint? Huh?
122
00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:56,119
You wanna explain to everyone
how you slept with my wife?
123
00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:59,159
Look, neither of us meant
for that to happen.
124
00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:02,079
Oh, yeah? What?
Did it just fall in there, huh?
125
00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:04,639
How many times? How many times
did you sleep with her?
126
00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:06,839
Jesus, Jerry, let's not do
this in front of everyone.
127
00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:09,519
No, I'm sure they all want
to know anyway.
128
00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:11,759
How many?
Including last night?
129
00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:13,120
(GRUNTS)
130
00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:16,719
Mm-hm.
131
00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:18,559
Eight or nine...
132
00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:19,799
..hundred times.
133
00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:21,040
What?
134
00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:26,239
Why? Why, Clint?
135
00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:27,799
I don't know.
136
00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:29,239
Because maybe I haven't
felt this way
137
00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:30,879
about anybody since Kimberly died.
138
00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:32,879
I don't even know who that is.
139
00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:35,159
Kimberly.
140
00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:36,640
My first wife.
141
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,400
Got hit by a truck.
142
00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:43,159
Oh, Kimberly.
143
00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:46,239
Listen, Jerry, why don't
you and I go find a place
144
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,479
where we can talk in private?
145
00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:49,559
It's for your own good.
146
00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:51,159
No,
147
00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:53,719
I'm not going to
grant a divorce, Clint.
148
00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:56,199
Screw Melissa and screw you.
149
00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:57,840
You and me are done.
150
00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:02,799
Is that why you think I'm here?
151
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,919
The NSA have called your case
back into review.
152
00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:07,400
I'm here to take you home.
153
00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:10,119
The plane leaves tonight.
154
00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:12,200
(RETCHES)
155
00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:14,880
Oh!
156
00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:22,039
OK, so, naturally, I have
a few things I'd like to say,
157
00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:24,079
and I'm sure you have
a few questions of your own.
158
00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:25,679
Or absolutely tons.
159
00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:27,639
But for now, just in
the interests of time,
160
00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:30,279
I'd appreciate
if you didn't interrupt.
161
00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:33,720
So obviously you're aware
that I work for the NSA.
162
00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:39,439
Do you want me to say
even when I agree?
163
00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:41,599
Well, some indication that
you're alive would be nice.
164
00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:43,879
Sorry, yeah, of course I know that.
Yeah.
165
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:47,440
Anyway, you remember how I also said
I was close to the president?
166
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:51,319
Are you waiting for me to respond?
Yeah.
167
00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:53,159
I don't know. I don't know.
Well, I was.
168
00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:54,239
Right.
169
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:59,799
Now, let's just say I was approached
by a member of his team
170
00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:03,599
to look into ways in which
I could potentially influence
171
00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:07,759
the results of the election,
purely from a cyber perspective.
172
00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:09,999
Did that actually happen, then?
Doesn't matter.
173
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:14,999
But let's just say a high-ranking
figure asked you to do the same.
174
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,039
What would you do?
175
00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:17,839
Oh, I wouldn't even know
where to start.
176
00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:19,359
I struggle with Excel
sometimes, so...
177
00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:22,239
OK, sure.
But put yourself in my shoes.
178
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:26,319
You're someone at the NSA who's
been working on this stuff for years.
179
00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:28,799
You're at the top of your game.
You're kind of amazing.
180
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:29,800
Yeah.
181
00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:33,239
Which is why you find yourself
on vacation with this senator
182
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:35,959
who's acting like you're best buds.
183
00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:37,239
Right.
184
00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:42,039
In which case I would say,
"Listen, we're best buds,
185
00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:45,080
"but, you know, I work with NSA,
I'm not allowed to talk about it."
186
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,559
Well, of course, that's
what you're MEANT to say.
187
00:08:49,560 --> 00:08:53,279
But now imagine you're in
this beautiful sushi bar.
188
00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:54,439
Oh, lovely.
189
00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:57,239
You've already consumed
several bottles of sake.
190
00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:58,240
Oh, hell.
191
00:08:58,241 --> 00:09:00,759
Tina Turner is in one corner
of the room.
192
00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:02,119
Why?
It doesn't matter.
193
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:03,319
Is she singing?
She's asleep.
194
00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:05,279
I'm just trying to
paint a picture here.
195
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:08,519
My point is there's a world
in which you might share
196
00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:10,559
some highly classified intel.
197
00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:11,959
Right?
198
00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:13,799
Not if it undermined
national security, no.
199
00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:16,959
But what if you knew it would
make your country stronger,
200
00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:19,039
safer, more American?
201
00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:21,319
Isn't that verging on treason,
though?
202
00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:23,600
By whose definition?
203
00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:27,519
The legal definition.
Then, yeah.
204
00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:30,879
Aren't you worried about that?
I am now.
205
00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:33,240
Oh, they can't send you back.
206
00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:36,800
What will I do all day?
207
00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:44,159
My point is, there is
a world in which
208
00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:46,199
you might share some highly
classified...
209
00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:48,400
Is it working now?
Perfectly.
210
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:50,919
Do you mind if I stay
at Dad's tonight?
211
00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:52,239
JERRY: What if you knew
it would make...
212
00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:54,199
Yes, I do.
213
00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:56,040
..more American?
214
00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:02,079
Well, guys, unless anyone knows
how to avoid an extradition order,
215
00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:03,119
I guess this is it.
216
00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:05,199
Clint's given me
till the end of the day
217
00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:07,199
to wrap everything up
and say my goodbyes.
218
00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:09,159
Shame you didn't get married
while you were over here.
219
00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:10,359
Why?
220
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:13,119
I could avoid extradition
if I'd married a Brit.
221
00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:14,080
I think so.
222
00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:17,399
It's how Paddington avoided
being sent back to Peru.
223
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,439
I don't know, maybe
it's different for bears.
224
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:20,719
Wait a minute.
225
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:23,239
Couldn't we just pretend I married
one of you guys months ago
226
00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:24,799
and forged the documents?
227
00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:26,719
Tuva, would you...
No.
228
00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:29,519
What about Mary?
Oh, gosh.
229
00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:35,399
I'd love to, it's just me
and Quentin have started, you know.
230
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:38,519
No, it's OK. People wouldn't have
bought us as a couple anyway,
231
00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:41,759
given your whole, you know, face.
232
00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:43,640
But who else is there?
233
00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:55,799
What?
234
00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:58,559
OK, we need to make this
absolutely bullet proof.
235
00:10:58,560 --> 00:11:01,159
The NSA are going to want to see
witness testimonials,
236
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,559
marriage certificates,
wedding footage.
237
00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:06,039
What about your wife?
Melissa?
238
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,319
Can you kill her off?
On paper, I mean.
239
00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:10,759
Sure, I can do that.
Can it be crocodiles?
240
00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:11,839
Sure, I can do that.
241
00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:13,799
When do you want to say
that you got married?
242
00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:15,919
9/11?
It's gotta be more recent than that.
243
00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:18,519
I just read a lot of hotel wedding
packages are much cheaper that day.
244
00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:19,919
Hey, I don't wanna go cheap.
245
00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:21,919
If we're gonna go through with this,
I wanna go all out.
246
00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:24,799
Great. Hey, I won't get into trouble
with the NSA for doing this, will I?
247
00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:27,959
Hey, listen, this is all on me, OK?
248
00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:30,639
If you guys go down,
I'll be right behind you.
249
00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:33,040
(PHONE VIBRATES)
250
00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:38,519
(DISCONNECTED TONE BEEPS)
251
00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:42,199
OK, so, for the NSA to buy this,
252
00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:45,079
they have to believe that
we are completely in love
253
00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:47,879
and that our love for each other
is so intense
254
00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:50,039
it would break your heart
if I left you, OK?
255
00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:52,279
Are you comfortable with that?
God, yeah. Yeah.
256
00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:54,279
Alright, let's do this.
257
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,679
Oh, take that off.
OK.
258
00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:59,079
Do you want to put it...
No, just throw it on the floor.
259
00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:00,559
Great. Smile. Smile.
260
00:12:00,560 --> 00:12:02,679
Do you want that there?
You don't need to.
261
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:05,560
Smile.
OK.
262
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:07,560
Are you ready?
263
00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:09,199
We should be laughing
as we kind of go into it.
264
00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:12,119
OK.
(BOTH LAUGH)
265
00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:15,079
So, how long have you
and Jerry been an item?
266
00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:18,199
Oh, God. Well, since
the first day he arrived.
267
00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:20,519
I mean, it was like
being attacked by a bull.
268
00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:22,639
And did you mind the age difference?
269
00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:25,199
Um... not really, no.
No, no.
270
00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:27,119
It was...
No, I didn't.
271
00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:29,359
No. I mean, I think when you're
truly in love with someone
272
00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:31,319
you just don't really see age.
273
00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:32,559
Mm, yeah.
274
00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:35,599
You know, even when it's, you know,
really quite, quite big.
275
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:38,079
But, um... yeah,
occasionally I'll wake up at night
276
00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:40,279
and just be like, "Oh, God,
you know, like, when I'm 70,
277
00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:43,159
"he'll be, what 130, 140?
278
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:45,759
140 or something.
We should probably move on.
279
00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:48,439
I mean, the sex is...
280
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:50,599
Is what?
Yeah, I don't think we should talk...
281
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:52,359
Let's not mention that.
It's nothing. It's nothing.
282
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:55,879
So, are you and Jerry
living together now?
283
00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:57,959
We are.
Oh, absolutely. Yeah, we are.
284
00:12:57,960 --> 00:12:59,839
Thank goodness, because
there was a while there
285
00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:04,119
that it was almost painful
that we were apart so much.
286
00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:06,199
It was a very difficult 24 hours.
287
00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:08,839
But, I mean, I'm still living
with my dad.
288
00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:10,799
So it is quite tight, isn't it?
Yep.
289
00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:12,399
Look at this smile!
290
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,359
Just... Oh!
291
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:18,759
Sorry, for the edit,
maybe ask about kids.
292
00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:22,119
You know, like, we're... like,
we've been talking about kids.
293
00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:23,959
OK, OK.
294
00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:25,199
I think it'll help the case.
295
00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:28,719
Do you like kids?
I like kids. We both like kids.
296
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:32,439
It's funny you should ask because...
We have five kids.
297
00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:35,399
Oh, you have five kids.
298
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:38,080
So, we...
And how old?
299
00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:42,239
Whew!
How old are they now?
300
00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:44,239
Yes.
301
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:47,399
(SIGHS) What, they're, well...
302
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:50,440
..five, four...
303
00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:56,440
..three, two and one.
304
00:13:58,120 --> 00:13:59,880
Yeah, we're not gonna be able
to use any of that.
305
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:05,519
Listen, I just want to thank you
for your cooperation.
306
00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:08,319
You could have made this all
a lot more difficult.
307
00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:10,839
Anytime.
Don't take this the wrong way,
308
00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:13,679
but we have a nickname for you
back in the States.
309
00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:14,920
The Iron Curtain.
310
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:17,879
You're impenetrable.
311
00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:20,240
Why would I take that the wrong way?
312
00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:26,279
I very much enjoyed last night.
313
00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:27,919
Yes. Me too.
314
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:30,639
I just wondered if you could
check under your bed.
315
00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:34,279
My external hard drive's
gone missing.
316
00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:36,319
I haven't seen it.
317
00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:38,439
It's very sensitive.
318
00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:40,719
Quentin, do you have your camera?
Yes.
319
00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:41,759
OK, get ready.
320
00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:44,759
(SHOES TAP LOUDLY)
321
00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:46,159
Are you sure this is gonna be OK?
322
00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:48,439
It's the only suit
they had in your size, sorry.
323
00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:51,679
No, I'm not supposed to see you.
It's bad luck.
324
00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:53,319
So should I just walk in
from the back?
325
00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:56,039
Yeah. Do you have any music?
I could sing something.
326
00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:58,159
Oh. Well, that's up to the bride.
327
00:14:58,160 --> 00:14:59,799
Oh, no, I'd love that.
Cool.
328
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:02,400
OK.
Let's do this.
329
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:17,439
(SINGS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
330
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:20,640
(SHOES TAP LOUDLY)
331
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:36,640
(STOPS SINGING)
332
00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:43,760
(RESUMES SINGING)
333
00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:56,920
(STOPS SINGING)
334
00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,680
(RESUMES SINGING)
OK, I think we're good.
335
00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:03,519
It's beautiful.
Joseph, repeat after me.
336
00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:06,479
Repeat after me.
I do solemnly declare...
337
00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,639
(MIMICS) I do solemnly declare...
338
00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:12,279
..that I, Joseph Harries...
..that I, Joseph Harries...
339
00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:13,999
Just use your own voice.
340
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,879
Oh.
Try it again, please.
341
00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:18,359
I do solemnly declare...
I do solemnly declare...
342
00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:21,039
..that I, Joseph Harries...
..that I...
343
00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:22,559
..Joseph Harries...
..Joseph Harries...
344
00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:24,559
..know not of any
lawful impediment...
345
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:27,119
..know not of any lawful...
Impediment.
346
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:28,759
Impediment.
..impediment...
347
00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:33,719
..why I should not be married
to Jerry Apache Bernstein.
348
00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:35,759
..why I should not be married
349
00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:37,920
to Jerry Apache Bernstein.
350
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:40,999
Apart from the outstanding
extradition order.
351
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,399
But I'm sure we'll...
OK, we'll edit that out later.
352
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:47,279
Uh, Tuva, do you have the rings?
353
00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:48,560
What?
354
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:56,119
So it was a bit unsure as to
how this might work out,
355
00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:58,839
but it's good to know you know
how to play with the big boys.
356
00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:02,079
Well, it isn't all the time
we get to cooperate
357
00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:05,199
alongside one of our oldest
and closest allies.
358
00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:07,359
You know, if you're ever looking
for a way out of this shithole,
359
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,119
we'd love someone like you
at the FBI.
360
00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:11,519
You've certainly earned
your points with the NSA.
361
00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:13,679
Maybe now they'll take us seriously.
362
00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:15,159
(LAUGHS) Maybe.
363
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:17,319
(BEEPING)
EVELYN: Where is everyone?
364
00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:19,399
What do you mean where is everyone?
365
00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:21,919
I don't know.
(SIGHS)
366
00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:27,520
Joseph Harries, with this ring... s,
I thee wed.
367
00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:30,440
Oh, lovely. Thank you.
368
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:33,159
Take that.
369
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:36,759
Um... Jerry Apache Bernstein,
370
00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:40,279
With this skull ring, I thee wed.
371
00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:41,360
Aww.
372
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:46,119
Without further ado,
it gives me great pleasure
373
00:17:46,120 --> 00:17:49,040
to pronounce you partners in law.
374
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:51,639
Oh, sorry, yeah.
375
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:53,920
(SMASH!)
(ALL CHEER)
376
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:58,040
And now kiss the bride.
Oh, I don't think we...
377
00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:02,280
OK, now we turn around.
378
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:10,119
Chris. Hey. Sorry, we were just...
Filming.
379
00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:11,879
..filming a short...
380
00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:14,119
Porno.
Show reel. Show reel.
381
00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:16,919
Yeah, I've got a buddy
in the adult film industry
382
00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:19,319
who's looking for a few dwarfs
for his next project.
383
00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:23,239
Really? Because what it looks
like is your staging a wedding
384
00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:26,279
in order to avoid immediate
extradition to the United States
385
00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:28,959
where you're highly likely
to face charges of treason.
386
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:31,399
Jerry, buddy,
387
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:34,600
you really think this is
going to make a difference?
388
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,680
Come on, we're leaving.
389
00:18:58,200 --> 00:18:59,400
Hang on.
390
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:04,639
I must say, I do find it staggering
391
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:09,119
that the FBI and the NSA
should choose to pin all this
392
00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:11,399
on an individual.
393
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:16,279
Jerry is unequivocally one
of the most average officers
394
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,199
I've ever had the pleasure
of working with.
395
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:24,999
So to somehow imply that he could
have influenced an entire election
396
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,599
not only insults my intelligence,
397
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:30,399
which in case you hadn't already
figured, is really quite high,
398
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:33,599
but also stinks of the NSA
looking for a scapegoat
399
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:35,240
to save its own skin.
400
00:19:37,120 --> 00:19:38,640
We all make mistakes.
401
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:41,919
All of us.
402
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:44,360
I once overcooked beef.
403
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:46,999
But although it may not look it,
404
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:51,839
we are only human and we live
in increasingly testing times.
405
00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:57,800
So perhaps even people like Jerry
deserve a second chance.
406
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,799
Just maybe not a third.
407
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:04,720
For now, though,
he remains one of us.
408
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:07,719
My responsibility.
409
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:12,119
And I won't have him suddenly
taken away from this "shithole",
410
00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:15,559
particularly as I can have
this whole saga wrapped up
411
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:18,079
in so much red tape that
before you're even allowed
412
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:19,879
to so much as look at Jerry again,
413
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:23,119
everyone in this room will
have passed away, even Evelyn.
414
00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:25,039
Oh, my God.
415
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:26,840
They're gonna come after you,
no matter what.
416
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:30,720
Don't say I didn't warn you.
417
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:33,440
Whatever. No.
418
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:42,319
Wow, Chris.
419
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:46,439
I didn't realise I was
such a valuable asset to GCHQ.
420
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:49,879
'Asset' is one word for it.
'Leverage' is another.
421
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:53,039
Imagine how much intel the NSA
might be willing to give away
422
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:54,480
if we held on to you.
423
00:20:56,160 --> 00:21:00,199
Right. So I'm kind of like a ransom.
That's cool.
424
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:02,319
It's still a compliment, right?
425
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:04,399
Right?
426
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:05,879
Sorry, Chris, can I just check,
427
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:07,800
do we still get time off
for a honeymoon?
428
00:21:13,120 --> 00:21:14,559
To Chris!
429
00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:17,919
No, no, pick that up!
(ALL CHEER)
430
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:21,359
(PHONE VIBRATES)
431
00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:24,039
(CHEERING CONTINUES)
432
00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:27,360
(ALL TALK LOUDLY)
433
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,960
(SPEAKS RUSSIAN)
434
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,079
Mary... Mary, we're doing shots.
435
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:49,080
Hey, come do a shot!
Come do a shot.
32775
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