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1
00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:06,760
(DOOR BEEPS, HISSES OPEN)
2
00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:11,200
Joseph, quiet room. Now.
3
00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:15,880
Oh, my God. What's wrong?
Jerry, what is it?
4
00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:19,479
Oh, my God. Jerry, are you OK?
5
00:00:19,480 --> 00:00:21,959
Yeah.
Well, what's wrong? What happened?
6
00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:25,039
I think I have syphilis.
And maybe gonorrhoea too.
7
00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:27,479
I really can't tell.
(GENTLE MEDITATION MUSIC)
8
00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:29,519
I'm so sorry. Yeah. Yeah.
9
00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:30,960
Hey, can you get the fuck out?
10
00:00:32,160 --> 00:00:34,079
Thank you. Thank you.
11
00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:36,359
So, what, do you think it was
something that you ate, maybe?
12
00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:37,919
No! I had sex last night.
13
00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:40,159
Oh, my God! With who?
I can't say.
14
00:00:40,160 --> 00:00:41,839
Oh, not Christine.
No!
15
00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:43,479
She must be. What - my age?
16
00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:45,239
(WHISPERS) Did you sleep
with a prostitute?
17
00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:46,799
Eugh! No!
Not Mary.
18
00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:48,439
No, I just said
it wasn't a prostitute.
19
00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:50,359
Well, then who?
Look, I can't, OK?
20
00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:52,119
She made me promise
not to tell anyone.
21
00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:53,120
It's fine. Just tell me.
22
00:00:53,121 --> 00:00:54,400
It was Tuva.
23
00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:57,479
(WHIRRING, BEEPING)
24
00:00:57,480 --> 00:01:00,680
(INDISTINCT VOICES OVER RADIO)
25
00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:17,239
I mean, obviously,
I've had lots of experience,
26
00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:20,999
but Tuva can do things
I've only seen possible with CGI.
27
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:23,759
Right, who's got a poorly dick?
28
00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:25,279
Oh, Quentin, thank God.
29
00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:27,159
I mean, how did this even
end up happening, Jerry?
30
00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:28,999
Quentin, have you seen the film
Avatar?
31
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,239
Why, has it turned blue?
32
00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:31,440
No, but look.
33
00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:34,599
Oh, God, no.
Hey, hey! Don't turn away.
34
00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:36,039
I mean, that's just rude.
35
00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:37,040
(UNZIPS)
36
00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:39,279
Ah!
37
00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:41,679
Oh!
Oh, my G...
38
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:44,240
Oh... m...
39
00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:47,919
Have you ever seen anything like it?
40
00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:49,240
Only in livestock.
41
00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:54,519
Fantastic appraisal scores off
the back of that NHS scenario, Chris.
42
00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:57,119
Sorry, where did you say you were
again?
43
00:01:57,120 --> 00:01:59,039
I actually don't know.
44
00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:03,439
There was one area
where you seem to have failed.
45
00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:04,959
Failed?!
Yes.
46
00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:08,119
It was in staff welfare
and management.
47
00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:09,320
Get out!
48
00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:11,960
(COUGHS)
Why?
49
00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:15,519
Be gentle, please. N... Ah!
50
00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:17,879
Mother...!
Sorry, sorry.
51
00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:20,039
Just going to try again.
OK, OK.
52
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:23,199
It looks like
subepidermal haematoma.
53
00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:25,559
Oh, my God. Is that fatal?
54
00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:27,599
No, no, no. It's just trauma.
55
00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:29,639
Well, what exactly happened?
56
00:02:29,640 --> 00:02:31,840
Did she punch you in the penis?
57
00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:34,319
Um...
58
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:36,400
I mean, there was...
59
00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:39,919
No.
Why is it still erect?
60
00:02:39,920 --> 00:02:41,240
It's not erect.
61
00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:49,080
Hey.
Hey. You alright?
62
00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:53,680
(FARTS)
63
00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:57,639
I'm so sorry.
64
00:02:57,640 --> 00:02:59,959
I think I've had too much Berocca.
65
00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:02,320
You know they're not suppositories,
right?
66
00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:06,799
Good morning.
67
00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:09,879
Ooh, gosh! Are you OK?
Yeah.
68
00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,199
(FARTS)
Are YOU OK?
69
00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:17,080
Good morning, team,
valued staff members.
70
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:23,919
Right. Who'd like some raisins?
71
00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:29,039
Um, yeah, actually, I would, Chris.
Thanks. I'm absolutely ravenous.
72
00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:30,560
I had a big night last night.
73
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:36,399
So I know that we've all got
a lot to be getting on with,
74
00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:39,359
but I just wanted
to remind all of you
75
00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:43,879
that if ever
work becomes too stressful
76
00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:47,039
and you want to talk about it
77
00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:49,399
or about anything else
for that matter,
78
00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:51,040
I'm always here.
79
00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:53,679
That includes you too, Evelyn.
80
00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:55,999
I never find work stressful.
81
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:59,079
Well, no, but if
you ever wanted to talk about
82
00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:00,800
something more personal.
83
00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:02,880
OK, so...
84
00:04:02,881 --> 00:04:04,319
I was the first in my class
to get my period.
85
00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:06,039
It doesn't have to be now.
86
00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:08,999
So I've had an update on
the Dicksons car phone data breach.
87
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,519
I do think this is going
to be one for you, Mary.
88
00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:12,879
They've used a 28-bit block cipher.
89
00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:14,879
That's what my PhD was in.
90
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,319
Exactly.
91
00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:18,239
And no-one else could bear
taking it on.
92
00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:19,679
Really? OK.
93
00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:22,319
Well, it might take me
a little longer than usual
94
00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:24,319
because Mum's not been well.
95
00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:26,839
She's nearly 90.
96
00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:29,119
She must have had you
when she was very young.
97
00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:31,719
You see, this is a good example
98
00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:35,319
of something that you might want
to come and speak to me about.
99
00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:38,679
I'd really appreciate that,
actually, Chris.
100
00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:40,759
She keeps telling me to...
101
00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:42,360
..go fuck myself.
102
00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:47,119
Well, perhaps when
you've finished all this work
103
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,799
and removed all the corrupted files.
104
00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,519
Oh, right.
105
00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:53,640
End of play today
would be soon enough.
106
00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:00,800
Hey, you.
107
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:23,399
(WOMEN GUSH)
108
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,040
(GASPS) Ooh.
109
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:29,159
Mmm.
110
00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:31,199
I wonder if it's a boy or a girl.
111
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:34,679
Oh, gosh. I can never tell.
112
00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:36,199
That's problem with babies.
113
00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:37,680
They don't have boobs.
114
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:39,720
No.
115
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:43,519
Hi!
116
00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:45,039
Um...
117
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:47,239
Oh, hello, darling.
118
00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:49,360
Well done.
Oh, hi!
119
00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:55,719
Hey, I've just been looking
at the, um, Carrasima file.
120
00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:57,839
Do we have a contact in linguistics
who can translate Russian?
121
00:05:57,840 --> 00:05:59,039
Have you tried Olga?
122
00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:00,639
I can never understand
what she's saying.
123
00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:03,599
You know she's Russian.
Oh, is that what that is?
124
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:04,839
Oh, right.
125
00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:06,879
Thanks for the card, by the way.
126
00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:09,799
But I only celebrate my birthday
every other year.
127
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:11,919
Oh, that's fine,
just keep it for next year.
128
00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:13,760
There's nothing in it
that can go off.
129
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:16,360
Anything else?
130
00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:20,479
I just wanted to let you know
that I... I know...
131
00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:21,999
(WHISPERS) ..about you and Jerry.
132
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,119
Has he been mouthing me off?
133
00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:26,519
Oh, God, he didn't say
he'd done that as well.
134
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,439
So has this been going on
for a while, then?
135
00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:31,679
I only ask 'cause Jerry seemed to
imply it was like a permanent thing.
136
00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:33,119
Wow. OK.
137
00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:34,439
Well, either way,
138
00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:37,639
I just don't like to sleep
with the same person more than once.
139
00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:39,199
I think it's lazy.
140
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:41,559
Oh, no. No, I agree with that.
Me too.
141
00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:44,120
God, yeah. How boring.
142
00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:49,559
But you never know, maybe one day
you might find that one person
143
00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:52,199
who you want to settle down...
No, that would never work for me.
144
00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:53,720
No, no. 'Cause you're just...
145
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,279
It's funny, though,
146
00:06:58,280 --> 00:07:02,159
I was doing one of those, like,
online harmony test things
147
00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:05,199
and we actually come out as 89%,
I think.
148
00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:08,000
Yeah, it's that 11%
I'm worried about.
149
00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:11,520
Then why sleep with Jerry? I...
150
00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:15,960
Because I don't care about him
like I care about you.
151
00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:20,240
But you're right. I should let
him know it won't happen again.
152
00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:22,639
Oh.
153
00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:25,559
Plus he's so not over his wife.
154
00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:26,800
Sorry, what?!
155
00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:32,200
(PHONE RINGS)
156
00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:37,120
Is everything OK?
157
00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,000
Well, the district nurse
will be around in a bit.
158
00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:42,759
Yes, that's one.
159
00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:45,519
But you really
can't call her that nowadays.
160
00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:46,679
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
161
00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:48,519
Yes.
Hi, Chris.
162
00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:50,639
Do you have like 40, 45 minutes?
163
00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:53,639
Not that long, no.
Is this about the Buble conspiracy?
164
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,039
I don't know what that is.
165
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:57,560
Thanks, Evelyn.
166
00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:00,600
No, can you leave the room, please?
167
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:02,600
Oh, my God.
168
00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:06,079
Sorry.
169
00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:07,160
Quickly!
170
00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:11,399
Um, so, listen,
I don't want to name names,
171
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:13,359
um, but there is
someone in the office
172
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,679
who I've started to think of
as more than just a friend.
173
00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:16,680
Why?
174
00:08:16,681 --> 00:08:18,799
Oh, 'cause she's really nice.
175
00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:21,199
Are you talking about me?
No!
176
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:23,239
Why, are you interested?
Of course not.
177
00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:24,959
So this is about Tuva.
178
00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:26,599
Oh, I really don't want to
say who it is.
179
00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:28,799
Well, I'm guessing it's not Mary.
Oh, no, no. God, no.
180
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,279
No, definitely not Mary.
181
00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:33,079
Anyway, it turns out this person,
for whatever reason,
182
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:37,279
has actually ended up having sex
with someone else on our team.
183
00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:39,479
Jerry?
I really don't want to name names.
184
00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:41,999
Yes, but surely not Mary.
No, still not Mary.
185
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,079
The thing is, this person
is in fact a very good friend.
186
00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:46,319
Jerry. Of course.
He walks all over you.
187
00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:48,719
And on top of that,
I've just found out he has a wife.
188
00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:49,799
Jerry's married?
189
00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:51,119
So now I'm beginning to question,
190
00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:52,839
do I even know
who this person is anymore?
191
00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:53,840
Jerry?
192
00:08:53,841 --> 00:08:55,159
I mean, what do you think
I should do?
193
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,800
Do you think I should talk to him
about it or...?
194
00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:13,440
(EXHALES HEAVILY)
195
00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:20,120
Yes.
196
00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:22,839
Right.
197
00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:24,439
So, yes.
198
00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:26,759
Can I have a raisin?
199
00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:28,600
Yes, do.
200
00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:34,600
(GASPS)
201
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,359
Hey, beautiful!
202
00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:44,839
OK, so I'm just going to say it
so we can move on.
203
00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:47,679
Oh, my God, you're pregnant?
It's been less than 12 hours.
204
00:09:47,680 --> 00:09:49,239
I don't care. I want to keep it.
No.
205
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,239
This was one off.
It can never happen again.
206
00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:54,799
I don't understand. You sure sounded
like you were enjoying yourself.
207
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:58,079
Yeah, no, sometimes I moan like that
when I'm really bored.
208
00:09:58,080 --> 00:09:59,639
I thought we had a connection.
209
00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:01,879
You kept calling me Melissa.
210
00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:03,879
Oh, come on! Was it really that bad?
211
00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:06,599
(CRIES) Melissa!
212
00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:08,799
(WAILS)
213
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:09,839
Yes.
214
00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:11,359
Fine. You know what?
215
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,359
Actually, I was on my way to find you
216
00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:15,439
and tell you the same thing, so...
217
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,639
So... are we good?
218
00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:19,719
(SCOFFS) Tuva, do you really think
219
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,159
this is the first time
I've had a one-night stand?
220
00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:23,960
Please.
Great!
221
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,120
(CRIES)
222
00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:31,520
Argh!
223
00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:33,999
(DOOR OPENS)
Oh, hi, Jerry.
224
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,359
I just wondered if we'd
have a... little chat.
225
00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:38,399
It's actually not a great...
it's not a great time for me.
226
00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:39,760
I'm super busy.
227
00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:44,239
Did Tuva come and see you?
228
00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:47,119
You know what? She did. (CHUCKLES)
229
00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:48,599
Poor kid.
230
00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:51,519
She won't leave me alone. So clingy.
231
00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,999
I just shut that shit down.
232
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,279
I'm actually worried about her.
She was a mess.
233
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:58,200
I hope she's gonna be OK.
234
00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:01,839
Listen, if you ever want to chat
about anything,
235
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,079
just, you know I'm here, right?
236
00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:04,280
OK. Thanks.
237
00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:06,679
Maybe you can come around
to mine tonight.
238
00:11:06,680 --> 00:11:09,360
Get my dad to cook something
and we can... chat.
239
00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:13,959
Nah, I think it will be too spicy.
240
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:15,840
Let's go out. Come on.
241
00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:19,600
Can we go somewhere cosy?
242
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:22,119
Of course. The Railway Inn.
243
00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:24,240
It's super cosy, honestly.
Is it?
244
00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:27,559
Do they do mashed potato?
245
00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:29,720
I can ask.
I mean, it's very easy to make.
246
00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:35,839
OK.
Yeah?
247
00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:38,159
Yeah. Let's do this.
248
00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:39,600
Great.
249
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,640
(PHONE RINGS)
250
00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:06,199
Oh, very nice!
251
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:08,639
Hey, does this turn into
a topless place later?
252
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:09,919
I don't think so, no.
253
00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:13,079
Listen, I'm really glad
we decided to go out, man.
254
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:14,479
Just us two guys.
255
00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:17,439
Right. Um, yeah, yeah, yeah.
256
00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:19,559
Do you want to just have a seat
and I'll just get this first round?
257
00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:22,119
What would you like?
Oh, yeah. I'll have a scotch.
258
00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:24,039
Top shelf. Neat.
259
00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:25,679
Cool. Neat.
260
00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:27,879
No, neat. No ice.
261
00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:30,159
Yeah, that's... Yeah. That's neat.
OK.
262
00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:33,919
Also get another round of
whatever those two are having.
263
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,479
What, for us?
For them.
264
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:38,000
Oh, right. OK.
265
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,279
Oh!
266
00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:46,159
Hey. What are you doing here?
267
00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:47,879
Hey, you want to see
some magic tricks?
268
00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:49,319
Um, I can't really.
269
00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:50,679
Oh, come on. Pick a card.
270
00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:53,840
OK, OK, just really quick.
I love magic.
271
00:13:17,680 --> 00:13:20,080
(PHONE RINGS)
(SIGHS)
272
00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:23,879
Hello?
273
00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:27,999
I'm so sorry, Jerry.
There was a huge queue.
274
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,959
Where did you get that?
275
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:32,039
What? I didn't even see that.
276
00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:34,519
Cheers, buddy.
Cheers, man.
277
00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:36,279
Mmm.
278
00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:37,919
Oh, this is nice, isn't it?
279
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:40,639
Just us two, chatting away.
280
00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:42,159
Right?
Yeah.
281
00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:44,159
Well, you know, it just dawned on me
282
00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:46,799
we've never really ever spoken
about relationships and stuff.
283
00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:50,239
No. So when was the last
long-term relationship you had?
284
00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:51,920
Oh, me?
Mm.
285
00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:54,359
Probably, like, my gran.
286
00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:55,759
Do you have a type?
287
00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:57,840
I just haven't really
established a pattern yet.
288
00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:04,279
Have you ever hooked up
with anyone at work?
289
00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:05,319
No, not yet.
290
00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:08,159
Aren't there, like,
6,000 people working at GCHQ?
291
00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:10,479
Well, yeah, but, I mean, I can't
access everywhere with my pass.
292
00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:13,199
Mm, yeah, but surely
those odds are great.
293
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,039
I mean, even for something
happening by chance.
294
00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:17,319
Yeah, but I mean, I don't know
how accurate a figure that is.
295
00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:20,399
I mean, that might include
staff from GCHQ Bude for all I know.
296
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:22,559
I don't want to have to
trek down there every time...
297
00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:23,720
No.
298
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:27,639
I'm not making you uncomfortable,
am I? I'm just trying to be friendly.
299
00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:29,599
No, it's um... (CHUCKLES)
300
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:30,799
What?
301
00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:33,800
No, it's just nice hearing you
refer to me as a friend, that's all.
302
00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:36,880
Are you alright?
303
00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:39,479
You know what?
Let's get another round.
304
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:41,119
Drink?
Oh, no, I'll get it.
305
00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:42,319
That's absolutely fine.
306
00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:44,559
Alright, then,
get us a couple of shots too.
307
00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:45,800
Neat?
308
00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:47,920
Yeah.
309
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:52,559
Hey!
310
00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:54,800
So, who are you here with?
311
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:59,079
Oh, um, just a couple
of old school friends.
312
00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:00,879
Those two?
No!
313
00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:03,319
Not them two. No, no.
314
00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:04,679
Do you want a drink?
315
00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:06,679
Uh, yeah, maybe just like
a really quick one.
316
00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:08,480
Can we have a couple more tequilas?
317
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,439
This is a little bit tricky
at the moment
318
00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:15,919
because one of the people
I'm here with, he's a bit upset
319
00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:17,759
'cause the girl he was seeing
has just split up with him.
320
00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:19,719
So...
Was she hot?
321
00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:21,559
She, um...
322
00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:24,239
Uh, I find her attractive, yeah.
Hmm.
323
00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:27,079
Are you going to say something?
To you? To... the girl?
324
00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:28,919
Oh, I dunno. Maybe.
325
00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:30,719
I just don't want him to think
326
00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:34,319
that I've been thinking about them
having sex, you know?
327
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:35,399
There you go.
328
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:36,960
Oh, well.
Oh, well.
329
00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:39,799
(SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
330
00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:41,040
Right.
331
00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:43,479
Oh, my God! What's that?!
332
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:45,279
You never had tequila before?
333
00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:46,960
I thought it was like squash.
334
00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:51,439
I am so sorry, Jerry.
335
00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:52,999
Man, what took so long?
336
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,359
I had to go to the toilet 'cause
I've got the runs, I think.
337
00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:57,599
Well, surely that would make
things quicker?
338
00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:59,959
Well, there wasn't a cubicle.
339
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,439
Let's do this.
340
00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:03,240
Cheers, buddy.
Cheers, man.
341
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,399
Ooh! Hoo-hoo-hoo!
342
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:08,639
Yeah!
343
00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:10,239
So what are we talking about?
344
00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:13,999
Well, I think you were about to tell
me about your last relationship.
345
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,239
What? No, man, don't bring me down.
346
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:18,040
I'm trying to get up.
347
00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:21,439
You know, you really should
go for one of those.
348
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:22,919
Which... which one's your favourite?
349
00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:25,319
No, I just wouldn't
want to choose. It's fine.
350
00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:26,959
Come on, man!
No, Jerry, honestly.
351
00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:29,759
Oh, they're so waiting for you.
They're begging for it.
352
00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:30,760
She's not.
353
00:16:30,761 --> 00:16:32,839
Alright, I'm going to go talk to 'em,
see what I can do.
354
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:34,799
Come on. Come on. Quickly, quickly.
355
00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:36,320
OK.
Yeah, baby.
356
00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:43,039
So... just so I know,
how much are you willing to spend?
357
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:44,400
(GULPS) What?
358
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:47,799
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
359
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:52,159
Hi, Chris. Just to let you know
that I've finally cracked it.
360
00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:54,280
Yes. I was just going to take a look.
361
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:57,280
I'll let Dicksons know.
362
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:02,839
Is there something else?
No.
363
00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:06,119
No. Um... I should probably
get back to Mum.
364
00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:08,040
Yes, good idea.
365
00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:15,080
The district nurse just called
and she's, um...
366
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:20,240
..died.
367
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:30,599
OK, try not to take this
the wrong way,
368
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:33,039
but they both have concerns
about your dwarfism.
369
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:35,119
Well, that's fine. I completely
understand. What about you?
370
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:36,479
I think I've started
to get used to it.
371
00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:38,439
No! What? Are you interested
in either of those?
372
00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:40,839
No, no.
I'm not looking for a relationship.
373
00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:42,520
Oh, what, because you're married,
Jerry?
374
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:47,959
Have people been talking about me
behind my back?
375
00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:50,239
Why didn't you tell me?
Because it's none of your business.
376
00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:52,199
Well, you told Tuva!
That was different, alright?
377
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:53,999
It just... slipped out.
378
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,759
Well, Jerry, there's been
plenty of opportunities
379
00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:57,319
when it could have easily
slipped out of me.
380
00:17:57,320 --> 00:18:00,039
What?
MAN: Sorry, guys.
381
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:01,679
What else did Tuva say about me?
382
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:03,920
I don't know. Why would I care about
how she feels about you?
383
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,080
Wait a...
384
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:08,919
You like Tuva?
385
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:10,639
Yes. I like Tuva.
386
00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:12,079
Of course I like Tuva.
387
00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:13,719
Obviously.
(GROANS)
388
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:15,279
Why is that so funny?
389
00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:18,559
No, it's just...
Oh, you deserve better.
390
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:19,919
No, I don't!
391
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:21,639
Hey, I'm just trying
to look out for you, OK?
392
00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:22,839
You just said we were buddies.
393
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,679
Yeah, well, buddies don't keep
things from each other.
394
00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:27,319
Exactly! I mean, I didn't know
you liked her like that.
395
00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:29,279
You should have made your feelings
more obvious.
396
00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:31,319
Hey!
397
00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:32,799
Hey...
What? Tuva?!
398
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:35,919
What?
So is Jerry your date?
399
00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:36,959
Mmm.
400
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:39,200
Cool. Why didn't you say?
401
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:43,239
What, you knew she was here?
402
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:45,759
Sorry, did I not tell you that?
403
00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:48,119
Is this why you brought me here?
So you two can hang out?
404
00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:50,319
Hang on, I just need to work out
exactly how this came about,
405
00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:51,919
because I'm actually
quite drunk now.
406
00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:54,079
This is how you try to cheer me up?
407
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:55,879
Well, apart from this,
I'm having a great night.
408
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:59,719
Me too. I'm gonna go out
to the garden to smoke some weed.
409
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:01,359
Whoa.
You guys want to come?
410
00:19:01,360 --> 00:19:04,839
No, my asthma's... Sorry.
Nah, knock yourself out.
411
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:06,919
Cool. Later.
412
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:09,159
Why would you lie to me?
I thought we were friends.
413
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:11,079
Well, you know what? I thought
we were friends as well.
414
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:12,759
But there's some people
think you walk all over me.
415
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:15,439
What?! What else do they say?
That you pee sitting down!
416
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:17,719
OK, that's my business.
And not all the time.
417
00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:20,199
OK, sometimes I don't know what's
going to happen, so I play it safe.
418
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:21,639
That you're secretly vegan.
419
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:23,039
Oh, fuck you!
420
00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:24,839
That you're weak!
You think I'm weak?
421
00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:26,359
You're always talking about
how tough you are
422
00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:27,399
but no-one's ever seen it.
423
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:28,679
Oh, OK. You know what?
424
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:30,719
Here - you want to arm wrestle?
I don't want to arm wrestle!
425
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:32,599
It hurts my arm.
(SCOFFS) Whatever!
426
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:34,479
You know what? I'm done.
427
00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:36,079
Where are you going?
Hey! Hey, don't walk away.
428
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:38,079
I'm talking to you.
I'm going home, Jerry.
429
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:39,720
Yeah! What a wuss.
430
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,079
Right, get up.
What?
431
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:44,159
Get up!
Why?
432
00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:47,119
We're fighting? Go.
Oh, we're gonna fight?
433
00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:49,239
I'm the one
who should be fighting you!
434
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:50,519
Go for it. Move the table.
435
00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:52,559
Oh, you want help with the table?
Yeah.
436
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:55,159
Yeah? Where are we going?
Just to the right.
437
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:56,639
There!
Thank you.
438
00:19:56,640 --> 00:19:58,279
I can move furniture too!
439
00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,799
Yeah, well, go for it.
440
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:01,240
Look at that! And this.
441
00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:03,240
There. There.
442
00:20:03,241 --> 00:20:06,359
There you have enough space
for all your moves? Huh?
443
00:20:06,360 --> 00:20:07,719
You little...
Little what?
444
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:09,279
Just little.
445
00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:10,919
Argh!
Yeah.
446
00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:13,079
Sorry, buddy. I'm sorry.
It's just instinct.
447
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:14,480
Sorry. Hey!
448
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:17,039
Hey! OK.
449
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:18,479
Can you stop hugging me?
450
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:20,079
No.
Yeah?
451
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:21,479
Hey.
452
00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:23,759
Argh! Jerry!
Sorry.
453
00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:25,359
Again, instinct.
454
00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:26,959
Come on, get up.
455
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:28,319
Hey! Don't...
456
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:29,399
Ow!
Yeah.
457
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:31,279
Kick me!
458
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:32,839
Where are you going,
you little squirrel?
459
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:35,399
Are you trying to look me
in the eye, huh?
460
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,439
Why are you such a dickhead?!
What?!
461
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:40,239
You treat my like shit all the time!
I don't treat you like shit.
462
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:41,999
You're my PA!
I'm not your PA!
463
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:45,359
I've been working at GCHQ
for 12 years. I'm a junior analyst.
464
00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:47,079
Really?
Yes!
465
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:48,759
Just lose the front!
466
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:51,359
Oh, you think I have a front now?
You think I'm fronting?
467
00:20:51,360 --> 00:20:52,759
Well, why won't you let me in?
468
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:54,239
Oh...! Jesus.
469
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:55,760
Come on. Why?
470
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:01,839
You want to know
why I won't let you in, huh?
471
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:03,279
You really want to know?
472
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:06,560
'Cause the last time
I let someone in, I shot him.
473
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:10,480
I lost my best friend.
474
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:14,799
Is that what you wanted to hear?
475
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:16,240
Are you happy?
476
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:20,840
(CRASH!)
477
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:28,079
You really got to work on
your instinct.
478
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:29,680
(SQUEAKS, GROANS)
479
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:40,679
(SNORES)
480
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:42,200
(MOANS) Jerry?
481
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:45,359
(SNORES)
482
00:21:45,360 --> 00:21:47,439
♪ Hooray, hooray, hooray!
483
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,079
♪ Misery's on the way
484
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:52,679
♪ There are bad times
just around the corner
485
00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:56,359
♪ There are dark clouds
hurtling through the sky
486
00:21:56,360 --> 00:21:58,479
♪ It's as clear as crystal
487
00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:00,159
♪ From Bridlington to Bristol
488
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:03,839
♪ That we can't save democracy
and we don't much care
489
00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:07,599
♪ We'd better all learn the lyrics
of the old Red Flag
490
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:10,280
♪ And wait till we drop down dead. ♪
34958
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