Original subtitles

Good news everyone!

I've sold Planet Express to Mom.

Also, why are you wearing that funky hat?

Oh! This? No reason.

That was odd. Mighty odd.

Are you off our net, Professor? How could you sell the company to Mom?

I had to. We've been losing money.

Perhaps my strategy of using a giant spaceship

to deliver one package at a time

wasn't as clever as I thought.

Plus, you three never actually charged anyone.

Yeah, sorry about that. - Sorry.

Aww, this bends!

Oh, fuff. It's not like this is the end of the world as we know it.

This is the end of the world as we know it.

Has anyone never noticed that Fry always seems

to turn on the TV at just the right moment?

With the recent purchase of Planet Express, evil entrepeneur Mom

now owns over 50% of the Earth,

making her its supreme ruler.

At the risk of editorializing, this reporter

applaudes the demise of the pathetic human species.

The situation is indeed grim.

We go now to a live statement from Mom.

Ooh, don't worry dearies,

The only change I'm making is that

Mother Earth will now be called Mom Earth.

Aww, that's cute!

Also, you're all my slaves.

And anyone who doesn't report for duty before curfew tonight

will be blasted by Hoverbot Death Troopers.

Okay, okay.

In hindsight, maybe I shouldn't have sold her Planet Express.

Must be my hind cataracts.

Well, the Earth isn't safe anymore.

As captain, I propose we get the hell out of here.

- Amen, sister. - To the ship.

Oh, no, the ship's all wanged up.

Who could have done such a thing?

It wasn't me this time, I swear.

No matter. We need to repair the ship and we need to do it fast.

Leela, you start banging on the control panel.

- I'm on it. - Bender...

...you'll have to bend the ship back into shape.

Man, how come I always have to do all the bending around here?

And, Fry, you... Uh...

what exactly do you know how to do?

I can burp the alphabet.

A, B, D...

- No, wait. - Ooh...

I've got a mission for you, Fry. Find a hammer.

Yes, sir.

Oh... what happened?

You were crushed under two tons of debris.

And you died.

It was so funny.

I guess you had to be there.

I don't get it. If that's me dead over there, who am I here?

You're also you, thanks to my latest invention...

...the Reanimator.

Every time you die, it will automatically make an exact duplicate of you...

...based on your x- rays, a DNA sample...

...and some scrapings from the inside of your tennis shoes.

Wow, when did you invent it?

About a week ago.

And I've been trying to kill you to test it ever since.

Oh, professor, here's the hammer I died getting for you.

Wha...? Oh, you can keep that piece of junk.

Sadly, though, there was one part I was unable to repair.

Not the Dark Matter Engine. Not the Dark Matter Engine.

- The Dark Matter Engine. - Ah, crap.

- But don't we have a backup engine? - We did.

But we never used it, it being backup and all. So I pawned.

You pawned it? Why?

For the same reason everyone pawns everything in America.

To get a gun.

Okey-dokey, Fry, go to the pawnshop and get back our engine.

But there's a curfew. Hoverbot Death Troopers are roaming the street.

Ah, yes.

Then you'll have to take the sewers.

But what about the Sewer Mutants?

I gave you a gun. What do you want, a flowered dress?

Now, stop being a wussy and get going.

- Does this casing make me look fat? - Stop asking me that.

I know I'm supposed to like robot women, but sometimes, well...

You like human women?

- No, robot men. - Oh.

Why use my own legs like an idiot when I can use a Chicken walker?

Fry, you have the engine. Great work.

You surprised us all.

And pleasantly this time.

Yeah, Fry's great.

- Now, let's roll. - Shotgun.

There. The engine's in place.

And we've got that gizmo that gives me more lives.

Prepare for liftoff.

Farewell, big blue ball of idiots.

Universe, prepare to be taken over.

I give you Spaceship Earth.

A ship appears to be leaving the planet, Mother.

What? Show me.

- It's right here on the radar screen. - Damn it, Larry.

Radar's been obsolete for centuries. Use the stereopticon.

I deserved that. Thank you.

The Planet Express ship.

So they're trying to escape, eh? No matter.

We'll just have to hunt them down like common kittens.

More power.

Aye, aye, Mom, sir.

More, more. Pull harder, you son of a me.

Ow!

Sweet butt crust on a cracker.

Who'd have thought this miserable little planet would be so heavy?

Uh, Walt would.

- How dare you, Walt? - Ow.

Welcomes to Sal's salvage. What can I do's youse for?

I need a spaceship engine. Nothing special.

Well, except it has to be powerful enough to move the Earth.

The Earth? Holy Jesuses.

For that, you're gonna needs a Dark Matter Engine.

And a big ones at that.

Money's no object, as I will soon be taking over the universe.

Perhaps you've heard of it?

Hmm. A Dark Matter Engines.

You're gonna have to finds the guy who inventeds it: Hubert Farnsworth.

That old goat from Planet Express?

But he just got away, that mother-loving, no good piece of...

Don't worrys. I gots an idea.

I mean, an ideas.

Good news. I've programmed the Reanimator...

...to work for Bender as well.

So now I can die and come back to life like Fry?

This is the happiest day of my life.

I gots them in the suck beam.

Lovely.

Oh, my. Oh, my.

Oh, my, oh, my, oh, my.

Everyone just remain calm.

We're gonna die. It's every robot for himself.

Um, that robot appears to be escaping.

Yes, escaping to certain death.

Well, I'm boned.

I'm back, baby.

Bender, you mechanical marvel, are you there?

Huh? What? Who said that?

- Is it God? - No, though I'm as old as him.

Oh. Hey, professor, what are you doing inside my head?

I'm transmitting over your internal radio. Hello.

Our ship is still trapped in the suck ray.

We need you to find the source of the beam and disable it.

What's in it for me, Bender?

Uh, well... No. We'll rescue you...

...and take you with us off this God-forsaken asteroid.

- No deal. - I've got a box of magazines...

...with fembot centerfolds.

Roger that. Over and out.

Cursed robot. You haven't seen the last of me.

Unless you die before I see you again, in which case you have!

Good work, Bender. You saved us from Mom's evil arthritic clutches.

Yeah, good. Good, good, good.

So, what now, professor? Are you gonna invent something that saves the day?

That's what you usually do.

Alas, I'm not that skilled an inventor.

But I know someone who is.

My mentor and former graduate adviser, Adoy.

He lives here on the planet Bogad.

But that's in the furthest corner of the universe.

And we don't have enough dark matter fuel...

...to get out of the solar system.

Then I guess you'll have to find some, Leela.

No!

The jig is up, snot heads.

But we just got away from you.

Hmm. I probably should have disabled their ship or something...

...when I was down on that asteroid.

Well, live and learn.

What do you want, Mom?

I've come for the blueprints to your Dark Matter Engine.

Well, you're out of luck.

The only blueprints are here in my head.

Ugh. Fine. Then we'll take that.

The worst part is the phantom hemorrhoids.

Avenge my decapitation.

Now to get rid of the rest of those

Planet Express jerk-bots once and for all.

All right. Everything worked out fine.

Oh, no, we're heading straight into the sun.

We're heading into the sun?

Not my best landing. Is everyone all right?

Yeah, I'm okay.

Fortunately, I landed on something soft.

I'm fine too. No thanks to our chubby robot friend.

At least the ship is operational.

We should be able to get out of here easily.

Unless we're out of dark matter fuel.

Which we are.

Whoa. Check it out.

Be careful, Fry. You're not supposed to look directly at the sun.

Greeting, you aliens from other planet.

What? Oh, okay, fine. I got you.

Uh, take us to your leader.

I am Ra-Ra the Sun King.

Normally, that make me leader, but we have little coup d'etat recently.

Was it godless communists?

No, it was God. Mighty, mighty Sun God.

Apparently, him develop taste for flesh of own worshippers.

Sun people so afraid, they not even set foot on own sun porches.

Big whoop. Everyone's afraid of some god or another.

Actually, we more afraid of army of undead warriors...

...Sun God create from bones of victims.

Oh, those will get you, all right.

Perhaps if you find way into sealed temple...

...you can defeat Sun God and save Sun people.

Gee, I really care about your lame people and your crummy temple...

...but we're gonna have to pass.

- You'd be handsomely rewarded. - I'm in.

So, kemosabe, you got any dark matter?

- It our chief export. - Then you've got yourself a deal.

Hey, where are you two going?

Sorry, Leela, I'd love to help you save the sun, but I burn easily.

And I melt easily. But save me my share of the reward.

That big toaster.

Something's about to happen.

I can feel it in my bones.

Good one.

Huh. You wouldn't think a god could be mortally wounded.

You found me out.

I'm not really a god.

I'm just an ordinary eternal, omniscient, super-intelligent being.

So why did you allow all those people to be killed?

For their bones, of course.

Which I use to create my army of bone-bots.

Bone-bots? You know, normal people make their robot armies out of metal.

Yes, but my way is more evil.

Whoa! Aah!

Evil Sun God is gone. Thank you, weird, one-eyed woman.

- You save our planet. - Star, actually.

Whatever. And now for reward.

Full tank worth dark matter.

Oh, yeah, baby. Let's fuel up and ditch this awful sty.

Uh, no offense.

None taken. But first, you must come to temple and celebrate with us.

- The temple? - Yes.

Cherished temple. Sacred center of all life on sun.

Uh... Ha-ha-ha.

- We'd love to stay, but, uh... - we've got a, uh, thing.

Yeah, that.

Cheese it.

Them nice people.

Ah. My dear professor's head,

with your brains and my evil...

...I shall soon take over the universe.

You'll never get away with it, Mom.

But I've turned the planet Earth into a gigantic warship.

Ooh, my. In that case, you probably will get away with it.

Yeow!

It's hot! Oh, God, my head! Ooh... ooh!

Pain, pain!

So this is Bogad? Whoa.

- Creepy, huh? - Yeah, and ugly.

I can't imagine what kind of disgusting, foul creatures we'll find here.

Hello.

Dr. Zoidberg? What are you doing here?

Making a cameo.

It's so nice to see you, my friends and the robot.

This is so unlikely.

Hey, what's that kajigger?

Mm. I'm not sure.

But judging by its scales and long tongue...

...I'd say it's a horse.

Giddyup! Yeehaw!

I'm a cowboy, I am.

This must be the place.

Yes?

Um, are you Adoy?

Adoy? I haven't heard that name in years.

- Yeah, that's me. - Uh...

okay. We were sent here by the professor.

Ah. I remember the professor.

Of course, back then, I was the one called the professor.

Wait, who are we talking about?

- Oh, boy. - Professor Hubert Farnsworth.

Never heard of him. So, what can I do for my dear old prot�g�?

He said you might be able to help us.

Long story short, Mom cut off his head...

...and now she's trying to take over the universe.

Oh. Terrible, terrible, terrible.

But there's nothing we can do about it now.

So it's a good thing you came to me.

This guy's not making any sense.

Can I kill him?

This is my latest invention, the Time Tunneler.

With it, you can travel back in time and stop Mom...

...before she became unstoppable.

Or bet on horses I know are gonna win.

So long, suckers.

Ah, man, I'm still here.

You need to charge it first, Adoy.

The power generator is over there.

You can get to it along this dangerous path, laden with quicksand.

I know, I know, it was a terrible place to build the generator.

I'm sorry. Give me a break here.

But the time machine has a hand crank. Doesn't that work?

Uh, sort of. If you turn the handle for two minutes...

...it'll send the universe two minutes back in time.

So it gets us back to when we started turning the handle? Yippee.

No, wait. That might be all we need to get to the generator.

If one of us is fast enough.

Great, another dangerous mission.

- Who's the sucker this time? - Dr. Zoidberg.

Hooray, I'm the hero.

Hooray, we don't have to do anything!

Okay, Zoidberg, once I start cranking...

...you've got two minutes to get to where I can see you.

Otherwise, I'll assume you've been killed and rewind time.

Killed, huh? I'm no doctor, but that sounds painful.

- Oh, it is. Trust me. - Good luck, monster bait.

Zoidberg makes it to safety...

...and the crowd goes wild!

Zoidberg pulls the lever.

The Time Tunneler is working.

Fantabulistic. Now we can go back in time and fight Mom.

- And save the professor. - Yeah, whatever.

Goodbye, heroes!

I'll never forget you, whoever you were!

So, what should I do now, guys?

Hello? Friends?

Hello?

Hello?

We're gonna die!

What's the big deal? We've been dying all day.

We're even more out of control than usual.

Prepare for crappy landing.

Well, at least now we know who trashed our ship.

Oh, no, it's already 9.

If we wanna stop Mom from having bought Planet Express in the first place...

...we better hurry. - To the ship.

Now, if I understand time paradoxes, we're supposed to take the good ship...

...and leave the bad ship behind for the original us, right?

The bad behind...

- Say again? - Oh. Just get in.

As soon as you sign here, Planet Express will be mine.

Did I do something funny?

No. I'm sorry.

I should save my evil laugh till after you've signed.

Okay, then.

Don't sign it, professor. We came from the future.

- It's a trick. - Wha...?

Once Mom gets Planet Express, she's gonna take over the Earth.

And then she's gonna turn it into a giant spaceship...

...and take over the universe.

Man, that was cool. Earth is all:

And the other planets are like:

How droll.

Could I talk to you three over here for a moment?

A little to your left. Wonderful.

Destructor exiting target-practice mode.

Destructor initiating kill-all-humans mode. Yaah!

And so I die the way I lived:

As a giant robot.

Yeah.

Nice shooting, Fry.

Way to waste that evil robot.

Oh, so just because a robot wants to kill humans, he must be evil?

That is so prejudiced, Leela.

He wanted to kill you too, Bender.

Yeah, well...

You shut up.

Oh, no, the Reanimator.

Bummer. We'll just have to be careful not to die from now on.

You had to say that.

Ooh, damn it, Mom. No one kills my crew except for me.

You're going down.

Oh, please. You wouldn't hit a lady.

Oh, I suppose you're right.

Though I would do this.

Hi-yah!

You broke my hip.

I don't care. You wanted Planet Express so you could take over the universe, eh?

Well, I guess your evil plan is foiled now...

...thanks to my time-traveling crew.

But you have to sell Planet Express to me.

Your crew said it happened...

...and no one can alter the continuum of time.

Oh, yeah? Watch me.

The deal is off.

Oh. Well.

- How about if I throw in this hat? - Mm...

Good news, everyone.

I've sold Planet Express to Mom.

Oh. Look at all the names.

Yeah, it's a lot of names...

... but wouldn't you want credit for something you did?

Ripped and corrected by Dronkit