Original subtitles

If you travelled to that star, it's four quadrillion miles away.

I know girls aren't good at maths, but that's a long way.

'Cause the thing is, belinda,

I look up at the night sky, and it is so beautiful,

and I think, "how can I capture this?

How can I celebrate your birthday and treasure this moment forever?"

So I bought you...

This.

Happy birthday.

Thank you.

You could fold the paper and save it for later, but never mind.

Wow.

So, what it means is, that star, that's yours.

That star right there.

Shining down upon us.

- Does it have to say "miss"? - Are you married?

- No. - Then it's "miss".

- Do you like it, or... - Yes.

I'm sorry, Alan.

Yes. This is the nicest thing

anyone has ever done for me.

Thank you.

Just gonna kiss you.

So who bit you?

Was it a dog?

Was it a man?

Was it your wife?

She's tachy at 120, systolic at 70.

She's had one gram of txa,

five milligrams of morphine, and she's got a gram of iv paraceta...

So sorry, but I phoned your daughter and she's on her way.

Is there anything else I can get you?

How about a nice cup of tea and a sandwich?

There's a doctor looking for you.

Tell me about it. See you tomorrow.

- No. - Just one little name.

I can't give out home addresses. It's not allowed.

- Look over there! - What?

Oops. Sorry. Sorry.

Linda! Don't touch the granola.

- It's mine. - It's belinda.

And that was kristine, not me.

She said it was you.

Will you two keep it down?

Some of us have got work in the morning.

What the...

Is this some kind of joke? You're not real, actual robots, are you?

'Cause that is just ridiculous.

Oi! You're wrecking the place! And my landlord is...

Not a nice man.

Where do you think you're going?

Residents will stay in their rooms.

Don't tell me he needs the toilet.

Missbelindachandra?

- What? - You are missbelindachandra?

- How do you know my name? - Name confirmed.

- Your majesty. - Your what now?

You will come with us.

And what if I don't?

You killed the cat.

- The cat is irrelevant. - It wasn't my cat.

The cat is still irrelevant.

What do you want me for?

We come from the star missbelindachandra. We need you as our queen.

What do you mean the star belinda?

Missbelindachandra.

You are kidding me.

Belinda, what's going on?

- Do you know Lucy at number seven? - Yes.

Tell her her cat's gone to live on a farm.

Apparently I'm the queen of outer space, if you could tell the police.

And my mum and dad.

My poor mum and dad.

Tell them robots are kidnapping me.

Tell them I love them.

Take care, belinda.

Bye-bye.

Transmat initiated.

They're beaming me... Up!

Belinda!

Belinda!

You ain't seen me.

Belinda!

You haven't even got the right person! It's Alan that bought this thing.

Mr Alan Daniel budd. Go and get him!

I haven't seen him in 16 years.

I think he moved to margate.

Tell him he owes me 50 quid.

And what's that thing?

Descent in 500 cycles.

Can someone tell me what the hell is going on?

It was Alan. A-A-Alan Daniel bu-bu-budd.

Six-fi-fi-sixteen years. Fifty qui-quid.

Go and get him. Da-a-aniel budd.

What was tha-that thing?

- Wha-what? - What?

Okay.

That's complicated things.

Entering orbit of missbelindachandra one.

A planet called belinda?

Thank god, someone to talk to.

Do me a favour and ask your robots to lay off, will you?

- Welcome to missbelindachandraville. - Don't you start.

I stand as people's representative. My name is Sasha 55.

And on behalf of all missbelindachandrakind,

- I bid welcome to our one true queen. - Yes, sure.

But could you just tell these goons,

and we obey our robot overlords in all things.

- What? - Our robot overlords.

The missbelindachandrabots.

So they're in charge?

All praise the robots.

Is that... What's happening?

Rebels in the north zone started a riot.

So the robots are unleashing missbelindachandrabombs.

- They're killing them? - The robots must be obeyed.

Please help us.

- Polish, Polish. - The pathway for missbelindachandra

must be cleaned and polished.

Right. Thanks.

Polish, Polish.

- Right. - Polish, Polish.

Missbelindachandra, proceed towards the throne of the queen.

Polish, Polish. Polish, Polish.

Polish, Polish.

And what happens now?

The planet missbelindachandra one will celebrate your royal wedding.

Congratulations to your majesty!

What do you mean wedding?

Who am I marrying?

A spark plug?

The great AI generator.

Behold!

Attention, citizens of missbelindachandra one.

Be warned, no help is coming.

You will surrender and genuflect to me.

The AI generator knows no pity.

No kindness.

No mercy.

And you want me to marry it?

It demands union.

Behold!

The binding contract of the stars may yet save the people.

The robots will bring her to me,

so metal and skin

may weld within miss belinda chandra.

Weld?

Queen and machine combined!

Behold!

I obey the machine.

I'm saying no.

With regret, your powers are only nominal.

- Enforced wedlock will commence. - Why is it all so mad?

Why is everything on this planet so stupid?

If I may, I think our designated historian might explain.

He may speak.

Once upon a time, the planet was united.

Listen.

The robots and people lived together in peace.

To.

But then, ten years ago, it all changed.

Me.

Because on that day, the robot revolution arose.

Please.

What?

Thank you for listening attentively to my story.

- Careful. - Okay.

The AI generator evolved and achieved perfection.

Robots.

It told its soldiers to conquer all life.

Faulty.

No one knows why. It remains a mystery.

Cannot.

So the mighty robots marched across the world.

Hear.

People fought back, but they are weak flesh.

Every.

They begged for kindness and hoped for peace.

Ninth.

But then the AI generator conquered them.

Word.

Robots. Faulty. Cannot. Hear. Every. Ninth. Word.

So, thank you very much.

Very, very much.

Gotcha.

I am very grateful for your infinite wisdom.

Good.

With the people subjugated, the generator looked out.

- Rebels. It sought for... - Rebels

the original miss belinda chandra.

Fight.

And so it looked to the planet earth.

Back.

It beheld the creator and brought you here.

Very.

It knew metal and flesh must finally unite.

Soon.

This is a fact, and then another fact.

- When? - I can confirm, your highness, the time...

Is now!

My god.

Eliminate all rebels.

Destroy!

Vaporise.

Concentrate your fire!

Destroy.

Vaporise.

Vap...

Destroy.

Come on!

Have to run. Now!

- Fall back! - Vaporise.

Belinda. Belinda, my name is the doctor, and I will get you out of here.

- No! - You're not doing a very good job!

I swear you can trust this man.

He came to us as a stranger,

and in just six months, I have learnt to trust him with my life.

Take her home, doctor.

Then take me to the stars.

That is a date.

The delta exit. I'll cover you, doctor. Now take her and run!

Okay. Okay.

No!

Queen belinda will surrender to us.

Doctor, we have to get out of here!

- But we're trapped! - Come on! We're charging up!

They've all gone. All of 'em.

I'm sorry, doctor.

We lost them.

Doctor!

Polish, Polish.

But... what is it?

Come on. All right. Eyes!

Stops them following.

You'd better be worth it.

- Excuse me? - Okay.

That's not my fault.

- O-Okay. Okay! - None of this is my fault, mate.

Don't shush me.

I'm sorry about your friend.

Sasha.

Sasha 55.

She was nice to me.

She was lovely.

She's dead.

Right.

Polish, Polish.

- Polish, Polish. - No.

Little fella.

I'm sorry, babes, the robots could track you down and find us.

You have gotta go... off.

Sorry.

Now, then, miss belinda chandra, we have got a world to overthrow.

Welcome to the north zone.

It's interesting, that diploma from the star register.

If I'm right, that thing is dangerous.

Excuse me, is this iv?

Do you have basic iv?

- Is it fluids or medicine? - That's simolin.

- It's fluid. - Okay.

It's empty. Can I replace it?

Help yourself.

Simolin, iv kits, sanferric, over there.

Disinfect with mylos, your majesty.

Simolin, mylos. Got it.

I'm supposed to be starting a new shift on Monday.

Mundy Flynn.

I'm an ordained anglican marine.

What? Happy watching?

Some things don't change.

There's always a doctor standing back while the nurses do all the hard work.

So what's your name? Doctor what?

Just the doctor.

What?

- You're actually called "the doctor"? - Yeah.

All right, then. I'm called the nurse.

Doctor and nurse, good team.

Now let's take a look at you, sweetheart.

How about you, darling? Has anyone had a chance to look at you?

I'm okay. They said it's a dislocated shoulder.

Yeah?

Doctor, are shoulders on this planet

- the same as back on earth? - More or less.

It doesn't matter.

There's people in a worse state than...

Just, give it a good rest for a couple of hours, okay?

Thanks.

My god!

It's like.

- X-ray blankets. - X-ray blankets?

Radiation-free. And look.

The main difference between humans and missbelindachandrakind...

Instead of the kidneys and the liver, all the detox is carried out here,

in an organ called the pasculum.

- It's like a second diaphragm. - Exactly.

The diaphragm kind of protects it like a sheath.

Is that better or worse than humans?

If you start deciding which body is best, you're going down a very dangerous path.

That's the truest thing I've heard all day.

And hey...

Ta-da.

Have you got two hearts?

Padam, pad am.

No way.

Can I... do you mind if I...

Wow!

That's... that's so weird.

But the pasculum man,

- he hasn't got two hearts. - No, no, no.

I'm not missbelindachandrakind.

I'm from a different planet.

Okay.

Another alien.

Add it to the list.

- So what are you doing here? - I came for you.

- Why? - I was told about you by someone.

It's kind of a long story, and I've got to be careful about timelines.

But he told me your name like you would be important.

But I'm not. I'm really not.

I just don't get it.

Why me?

You see, the problem is that.

The diploma. Have you got yours?

The original?

But the AI generator has got the same thing.

- Yeah, so it's got a copy. - It's not a copy.

It is the exact same diploma. Look.

It's older, obviously, because it's been here longer

but it's got the same exact tear. Do you see?

- Just like mine. - It's the same object twice.

You mean it's literally the same diploma, like in a time-travel way?

- Timey-wimey. - Timey-wimey?

- Yep. - Am I six?

But it's fascinating.

'Cause I have waited for you for a long time, belinda.

And yet, when you were taken by the robots, I was at your house.

When was that for you?

I don't know.

It's been...

- Two hours? - It was six months ago for me.

I saw the rocket. I was in your garden.

- Wait, you were at my house? - Yes, and I chased you.

I followed you.

But when you were on board the rocket, did you have a blip?

Did you feel a "schwup"?

Six-six-six-sixteen years.

No, I-I-I did, yes.

It-it all went "schwup".

- We "schwupped". - That... it was the fracture. In time.

- Which means? - Everything is out of sync.

The border between this world and earth keeps jumping about in time.

So you left earth may the 24th 2025.

I followed you, but when I landed...

Hello, robots.

The robots impounded my spaceship.

No!

Please! Don't! I can help!

So I've been living down here in the under city for six months.

Then I met Sasha.

And she looked after me.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, she was... Sasha was the best.

And she died helping you.

It is not belinda's fault.

Hey, I don't need you to fight my battles. Thank you.

And it's not my fault.

Okay?

Is that an order from the queen?

Is that a royal decree?

- You're as bad as the robots. - Okay.

That's Manny.

He's good. I swear.

I'm sorry.

So, I have been living here with the rebels trying to help.

It's taken me a long time to get promoted to historian

so that I could finally be let into the throne room for the day of your arrival.

At least someone's glad to see me.

Worth the wait.

And the problem isn't you.

It is that diploma.

Because you've always had that, yeah?

Yeah, it was on the wall.

I mean, it didn't mean anything.

The robots must have got it from the future.

But when they brought it back to this planet...

It went "schwup".

- Back to the past. - Gotcha.

But it travelled further than six months.

It went back 5,000 years and became a foundation myth.

I've seen films.

When you get two versions of the same thing

crossing over in time, don't they explode?

Yes. Yes!

If you get the same atoms in the same space twice, the laws of time say no.

Kaboom.

I think I'll take this.

And I'll keep it very safe.

So is this, like, your job?

Are you some sort of time detective?

No.

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

Take cover!

Manny!

Hold the roof!

This is all your fault, queen belinda.

No, no, no.

Stay there.

Polish, Polish. Polish, Polish.

I need to get to the memory banks.

I told Sasha that that's the key.

That's... that's top security.

It's guarded by a full robot phalanx.

It'll have a record of what went wrong.

Because the people and the robots have a great, big, long history.

You have been friends for centuries.

And then it all changed.

In one night, ten years ago.

- But why? - Wait.

Wait a minute.

They've found us.

Belinda, we need to get you out.

- I did this. - Manny!

Manny, grab the documents. Belinda, go with shago.

- This way. - No! I'm telling you, I did this!

Rebels, you will surrender.

Everyone, guns down.

They've come for me.

Manny, put your gun down.

- Right now. - You betrayed us.

- I'm saving you. - Bel.

What have you done?

I'm sorry.

But people are dying.

And it is my fault.

Because my name is miss belinda chandra.

And it's about time I owned it.

- Belinda. - Silence. Let her speak.

Robot, now listen to the words of your queen.

Leave these people alone.

Take me.

Queen of our great planet, your heart may beg and weep,

but I will bring elevation to you.

But, hold on, can I just say?

Boss, if you leave belinda alone and you weld with me,

you will get a much better result.

You are the historian. You will witness events. Not participate.

But she won't survive the process.

You will be silent.

It's okay.

'Cause once I'm part of the machine, I can talk to it.

Maybe I can lead it towards peace.

The ceremony will begin.

Polish, Polish. Polish, Polish.

Polish, Polish. Polish, Polish.

Hi, little fella.

I don't think you want to be a part of this.

But thank you.

Off you go.

Polish, Polish. Polish, Polish.

Polish, Polish.

Conversion will be a world without sadness or pity.

You will achieve Serenity, peace and joy.

With me.

Serenity, peace and joy.

What do I do?

Approach the great AI generator.

I'm doing this for you, remember?

Once I'm gone, stop the war.

We will honour you and remember your sacrifice, missbelindachandra.

Okay.

Just remember me as belinda.

You can drop the miss.

Never liked it anyway.

I said to Alan that night, "who says miss?"

Are you married?

- What? - What?

Are you married?

- But that's what he said. - Who did?

Those were his exact words.

Hold on.

Are you...

At last.

You know me.

Belinda, beloved.

Behold!

Alan?

It's not AI.

It's al.

Alan budd?

Belinda.

My god.

Alan, are you all right?

I am supreme.

That must hurt.

I am beyond pain.

I don't understand.

For god's sake, Alan.

What are you doing here?

I thought you moved to margate.

Stargate.

- But how did you end up... - they came for me in the night.

You are Alan budd?

What the hell?

My god.

It's my fault.

I told them about Alan.

I told them to... Alan Daniel budd.

Go get him!

Okay.

So the robots went to get Alan.

But to do that, they went through the time fracture.

- They went "schwup". - So they went back

ten long years ago.

He landed before the robot revolution.

I find happiness beyond pain.

But you've been killing people.

Because he loved it.

You mean, it's like a game?

With robots and cities and lasers.

And you're saying this is mine?

I can make up the rules and win.

Give it to me.

I feel strong.

Like never before.

I feel power.

We welcome you to this world, earth man.

But, I must confess,

this robot technology seems in advance of ours by a good ten years.

- Do you mind if I ask you... - I mind.

Very much.

Destroy him.

You started the revolution.

But what for?

Bel, why did you finish with him?

Because... and when we're married,

I really don't think you should wear clothes that tight anymore.

Plus, no more texting after 8:00 P.M.

- Okay? - Alan, sweetheart, no.

'Cause all you ever did was correct me.

And tut and huff and roll your eyes.

And tell me off!

My god.

You've taken coercive control and made it complete control of the whole planet.

How can you live with yourself?

That's the point.

He can't.

- He's the king of the world! - No. No.

Every ninth word.

Your brain interfaces with the machine on an eight-part loop.

So every speech, every ninth word, your mind is free.

Every ninth word is telling us the truth.

Help me. Save me. Pain.

You were born to travel.

Destined for me, belinda.

To the perfect wedding.

Your mind subsumed within mine.

Planet of the incels.

Say yes, belinda.

Or the violence will rage forever.

Alan, I can help you.

I can separate the bio-links.

No more words!

I'm sorry.

I've got no choice.

Belinda, he won't stop.

His anger will go on and on.

Face me!

You will obey me, belinda.

Now hold the diploma.

My bride.

Join with me in ecstasy and freedom.

Polish, Polish.

Polish, Polish. Polish, Polish.

I'm sorry.

Bel!

- What happened? - Ouch.

You needed a time lord to take the kaboom.

Wow!

Bel, baby! Ha!

I just went through your entire life like a bullet!

The time fracture sent me like whoosh!

And, bel!

You are amazing, belinda chandra.

You and me, we go back years.

But where's Alan? Where did he go?

I...

Think...

He's microscopic.

- Do you mean he... - he's a sperm and an egg.

Polish, Polish. Polish, Polish.

Polish, Polish.

Goodbye, Alan.

- This place is nuts! - Yas queen!

Robots, rejoice!

Free from Alan budd generator,

we will make reparations

and live in Harmony with the people to rebuild this world.

Now, doctor, behold.

Baby!

- Give me some! - I saw that box in space.

- Is that your tardis? - Isn't she everything?

Well, I mean, it's gonna be a tight fit with both of us.

Babes, there's still a little bit of mystery left.

Like how do the robots get a hold of this in the future?

You solve your mystery

after you've taken me home.

Okay.

Okay, okay, okay.

You lot. Forgive. Rebuild.

Maybe change the name of the solar system.

Well, we thought we'd start with renaming this building, doctor.

In honour of those that we lost.

This will now be the citadel of Sasha 55.

- Thank you. - And I've got to say.

All praise to you, queen belinda of planet earth.

All hail belinda, queen of planet earth.

Thank you.

And good luck.

Lovely. Let's go. Okay?

Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go,

let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go.

Now this is ridiculous.

If you thought this was mad, that is mad.

It is bigger on the inside than it is on the outside.

Yeah. I-I know.

Now get me home.

24th of may 2025.

My shift starts at 7:30 A.M.

Thank you very much.

Yeah, but we don't need to rush 'cause time lord.

Time machine.

- This is a-a time machine? - Boom.

Because there is something already connecting us, belinda.

Way beyond robots.

I have been to the future,

and I have met your descendant on a planet far away,

in the 51st century.

Her name was Mundy Flynn.

- Did she look like me? - Absolute match.

The 51st century?

You're saying

3,000 years' time?

Is that supposed to be a coincidence?

Now, that is what I am worried about.

'Cause the genetic link is amazing.

Is that just chance or something more?

I can't help thinking,

bel, that maybe we are meant to be connected.

Like, this is destiny?

Is that what you say to all the girls?

Is that what you said to Sasha?

She trusted you, and she died.

You tested my DNA without even asking my permission.

God.

You're dangerous.

I'm sorry.

Inexcusable.

With both hearts, I apologise.

I am not one of your adventures.

Now, I'm asking you, doctor, to do the right thing.

I will take you home.

Thank you.

That was quick.

Are we there?

No, no. We're...

Is this how it works?

Do we just kind of bounce our way home?

Something is wrong.

Like we are being repelled.

We are bouncing off may the 24th, and that...

Is impossible.

That is all wrong.

My god. We're in space.

Halfway between missbelindachandra and planet earth.

- Is that 'cause of the time fracture? - No.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no. I closed that. This is...

This is... this...

This is.

I don't know what this is.

Okay. Let's see.

Right now, it is not working.

Right.

Something is stopping us.

Something is bouncing us off planet earth on the day that we left.

- But why? - Doctor, I told you. Get me home!

- I am. - You are not.

This might be the long way round, miss belinda chandra,

but hold on tight because this is gonna be quite a ride.

- We're in actual 1952? - Miami, Florida.

Fifteen people went missing.

The movies keep playing to an empty house. Gives you the chills, don't it?

Get ready.

'Cause here I come.

Ta-da!