Original subtitles

Thank you, sweetheart.

Thank you, Laura. Welcome, guys.

It's okay, anytime.

Hey, guys, guess what I was doing?

What, Dad?

I just came all the new neighbors to put in.

That attractive girl, Trace.

You got it right. She was asking for it.

Honey,

I wish that you'd just wait until I'd at least introduced us to the

neighborhood, you know? We cream -pied her. I mean, the hardwoods were the

hardwoods.

Did you at least talk her good? I don't want her to think that we're some crazy

yuppies that don't know how to have sex.

Honey, honey, you know better than anyone that I don't even talk, okay?

I do know that. You are really good. I mean, especially last night. You made me

come like three times.

Dad, I really can't wait to be just like you.

Maybe one day, son.

But for now, you have your mom and she's going to teach you how to talk and then

once you're ready, you can... Go out there in the world and fuck a stranger

like your pops.

Yeah. No, you're right. Mom was going to teach me really good.

Actually, just the other day, I got her really good.

You know, he really did.

He's a real chabuffy old bop. You should tell him about it.

Oh, yeah. What's something like this?

Hey, what's up, Mom?

Hey, sweetheart.

Hi. Yeah, good.

Yeah. You're excited.

Yeah. Good morning. Can I use your pole?

Yeah, that's okay, but I've got to do the laundry. I can't wait.

Oh, okay.

Oh,

really?

Ridiculous.

a lot of panels.

you ripped this.

Oh, really?

I don't think it was me. I mean,

you kind of ruined everything.

Well, I mean, I didn't do it. Who else could have possibly done it?

Yeah, sure.

Did you put your clothes in the wash?

Um, not yet, but I can do that later.

Please. All right.

They're not going to be clean.

Okay, well, I'll do that.

We should just get you guys to start doing the laundry.

I don't want to do the laundry. Well, what? You have to learn sometimes.

It's so boring, though.

Yeah, well, I mean, one day you're going to move out of home, though.

And you're going to need to know how to do these things.

I don't know. I mean, it's like... I'll just have someone else do it.

What, with your enormous amounts of money that you make waiting tables?

Yeah, come on now.

I mean, it's something.

Honey, I think you've got a lot to learn about the world.

I might teach you one for next week.

Well, I mean, if you insist.

Mm -hmm.

You do.

And guess what?

That one's always right.

Oh, yeah.

Mm -hmm.

Really? Yeah. Oh, my gosh.

Ridiculous.

Did you finish your homework?

I mean, I finished about half of it. I kind of just needed a break, you know?

Okay. Yeah, that's fair enough.

I mean, there's only so much a break can work before you kind of just get let

off the scene, hey?

Mom! Yeah, sweetheart?

I have a question.

Yeah? Um, anything advice on this boy I have a question?

Boy? Yeah.

Where did you meet him?

Um, I met him at the mall.

Okay. And he's, like, super cute.

Okay. Um... What does he look like?

Well, he's, like, you know, tall, dark, handsome, you know.

Sounds like a younger version of your son.

A little bit.

But, you know, like, I want to have sex with him, but, like, I don't know how to

get it going, I guess. Okay. You know?

How many times have you seen him?

I mean, like, I've seen him, like, a couple of times. Like, at least every

I'm at the mall, he's there and he works there. Okay. Yeah. All right.

Has he asked you out yet to, like, do anything fun? Or are you wanting to be

first person to?

I mean, he hasn't made a move, but, like, I wouldn't mind asking him out or

something. Okay. Oh, this is great. I'm so proud of you.

That's interesting.

Okay.

Well, I think you kind of just need to, like, work out what his hobbies are, and

then I would probably just choose to do something that he really likes as well.

Like, if he's a gamer, you could take him to that VR place that just opened up

down the road.

A lot of guys that age are kind of into that stuff. Yeah.

I didn't ask you.

Well, I mean, you're the one interrupting us. Oh, my God. I'm talking

not you. Okay. Well, you know, maybe you could go mind your own business. We're

having a moment here. Stop fighting.

It's like, just, okay.

It's fine.

She doesn't want your opinion.

That's okay.

I mean, she just wants Mom's advice. It's all good. Mom knows that.

Okay.

If he's not into gaming, you could do something like bowling.

But what I would probably do is, do you have his phone number?

No. Okay.

That's okay, though. Just next time you see him and you're having, like, a chat

with him, maybe just say, hey, I'd love to hang out with you sometime. It

doesn't have to be anything serious. You don't have to be like, will you go on a

date with me? Because sometimes that kind of scares them off, you know what I

mean? These boys get really nervous.

And so just say almost like you're going to be friends first.

Okay. I would tackle it that way. And then once you...

like if he says yeah sure then you'll be able to kind of tease into more of that

kind of relationship status after that yeah I don't rush it I think

it's really easy when you like someone to just want to dive right in and you

know tell them everything but I don't think that's always the best idea

I think especially in that age a lot of them kind of get a little

Never did that. You know what I mean?

I'm sure, like, from your friends at school, you would have heard similar

stories. Yeah, I mean, kind of, you know.

Yeah, I mean, I've heard, like, some of that stuff from the girls at school, you

know. I don't want that to happen to me, of course. Exactly, so that's why you

just need to go slow and don't scare him off. If you really like him, you know

that saying, treat him mean, keep him keen?

Oh, yeah, yeah, okay. It's actually true. It is quite true.

Okay, I think I kind of know what to do now. Like, I think I know what I'm going

to do. Oh, River, shut the fuck up. Oh, my God. Oh.

Thanks, Mom.

Hang on, but you're dripping it all over the floor. Anthony, go get the mop.

Here, use this one.

You do it. It's yours.

I love this brother of yours.

I know.

Anyway.

Thank you for the advice, Noah.

I know what I'm going to do now. Yeah, you'll be okay. Yeah. And let me know

it goes. I will.

Oh, but is he coming back?

Yeah. Uh, yeah.

No, he didn't.

Sean, what's the thing?

No, he didn't.

It's fine.

Where did you come from, huh?

I don't know. What do you mean?

You can't hide me, can you?

Oh, that's why I love my mother. She just likes me.

Well, my mom always taught me to let others come first.

Well,

Daddy can be really

Oh, you betcha, Popkin.

Yeah, no, she beat me to it. She has such a nice little ass.

You know the saying, son, the early bird catches the worm.

Yeah.

Anyway, what happened? I want the detail.

Well, I want a little something like... Oh,

hey, Popkin.

Hey.

What you got going on over here?

I freaking hate calculus.

Why is it so confusing?

Oh, you know, I'm not really much of a math with myself, but let

me see what you got going on over here.

It's a quotient rule. I can't understand it.

Uh, I see.

Well,

I mean, I don't know, sweetie. I feel like, you know, maybe you just move some

of the numbers around and it might start to make sense.

a little fence, you know?

I'll try it.

This is this.

Oh my god.

I feel like you're getting somewhere.

Don't you feel like you just maybe keep that number and put it right there just

like that?

I still understand why this thing changes that from everything.

I mean... I mean, Professor didn't go over and miss a class with you, or?

I mean, he did, but I don't understand math like this.

Well, I don't know. Well, I bet you maybe Professor offered, like, extra

after the end of class. Maybe you could start going to him for some help or

something like that, sweetie.

Hmm. You know?

I'll try, you know. Maybe I should stick around after class.

Yeah.

I don't know.

It's just so many steps.

Yeah, I mean, like it hurts me. Your dad wasn't that much of a way. This all

looks pretty foreign to me.

I'm just so proud of you after so long school.

Well, thank you, Daddy.

I'm sorry.

I love you.

And now it's showing an extra step.

Is it?

Yeah. Oh, bummer.

But what if you try maybe moving the night overhead to the 8th?

Hmm, wow.

Is that working, baby, or?

I think so.

I don't know.

I'm just going to do it and check the answer in the back of the book.

Oh, they put the answer keys in the book for you guys? Yeah, we're not supposed

to look at them, but... Oh, wow.

I guess some things don't change, huh?

I mean, there's a fraction on top of a fraction.

Yeah,

that's true.

I feel like you're getting somewhere over this.

I guess I just don't understand why, where it's valued.

You guys are just going to use the parentheses?

Aww.

I don't know.

I think I need the parentheses.

That's what it looks like is happening in the book.

That's what the book says.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Equals half to the third.

Okay. There you go. That's what it's supposed to do.

But then that doesn't make sense.

I mean, honestly, that doesn't make sense.

In front of that, over here.

That looks right, no?

I guess.

I just don't understand why.

Alright,

there you go.

Jump up, stay open, alright?

That's looking good. Okay.

I don't know.

If I might turn.

How does that function?

How many more problems do you have left, Shady?

Not that much, but each problem has like five parts to it.

You got it, baby girl.

After this, you know, maybe we can go grab a spoon.

Maybe get some ice cream or something like that for all your hard work, huh?

That sounds so fun.

This is just so hard, Daddy.

This is where we put you in school, and we're one of the best schools, so... I

know, but... You can do this, baby girl. You can do this.

Daddy?

I got

it! Oh yeah!

See?

That's it.

So that's how many times one goes into zero.

And he's such a loving father as well.

You know, I don't think I get to spend too much time with the children.

Ah, me too. You know, she's taking so much after her mom.

She's starting to remind me of when we first met.

Did you want to tell us that story again?

I mean, it never gets old.

Let me tell you a story.

You know, one day, I was walking down the street happily to walk into your

mother.

And, you know, I...

ran into her, made her drop her purse and everything, and I felt really bad.

I thought he was going to mug me.

I thought he was going to mug me. I didn't know who the stranger was that

coming up to me.

It definitely was one of those shoots where, you know, it could have been bad.

It could have been a big die. She looked up at me, and the first thing I said

was, like, let's go out to dinner.

And I said no.

No.

I was really interested in something that I must take her out to dinner. I

take her out to dinner. She's the most beautiful woman in my life.

And so I turned to him and I said, well, I don't want to scratch the dinner

then. You're going to kind of have to prove yourself to me. So let's go on a

date for the day.

It was such a great dinner that day.

Yeah.

But he got food poisoning.

I did.

Do you remember that? It wasn't really good.

We were supposed to actually have a second date the day after, and I felt

bad, you know, texting that, but your mom, your mom was such a sweetheart.

I told you earlier, she's a pleaser. She came over, and she took very good care

of me after the second date, you know. I know.

Oh, sweet baby.

I know.

Hopefully you two one day can, you know, have a relationship that means a lot.

And I hope to be like you someday.

Well, I mean, River's going to go on a date soon.

Yeah, I am.

Yeah, I mean, it's this guy from school, and he's, like, tall and dark and

handsome. Mom said he looks like you, kind of. Really? Yeah.

Maybe you might have to give him a test ride, huh?

Yeah, I mean, I asked Mom for some advice the other day, so we'll see.

I told her that she should invite him out to that new VR place because kids,

they love all that gaming stuff.

And I feel like if you had been asked out by a girl for gaming, VR, or

I said bowling as well. Yeah, bowling would be pretty cool.

I first thought gaming would be, you know, better, but... Well, you know,

both have to like it. So it really depends, you know, they do something or

both enjoy it. That makes you look good.

Oh, you're right.

Do you have any advice for her with dating? Because, I mean, it's one thing

me to make a suggestion, but... I mean, you know, boys do dates in a completely

different way.

You know, I was growing up, I was just very, just, you know, into this feeling

very sensitive.

So, I mean, maybe, I don't know, maybe do like a little spa day or something.

It might be, you know, something like that, you know? Maybe pamper her. Yeah,

something like that.

What about Pam? You were talking about Pam from Debates the other day.

Yeah.

Pam dumped him.

Oh, what?

Oh, my God, I think we met the baby the other day. We did, actually.

Congratulations.

That's amazing.

It was really fun.

Yeah? Yeah.

I know. We worked a lot.

So where did you meet this boy, actually?

I met him at the mall.

Okay. He kind of worked there, so.

Oh, really? What store is he working?

favorite store.

Okay. What store, sweetie?

The clothing store.

Oh, okay.

Yeah. Oh, nice.

So, I mean, I see him every time I go in there, and he's just super cute.

Have you seen him since you were shopping with him?

I haven't met him yet. She's only told me what he looks like.

But I'm excited. I want to meet him.

I mean, he's got to be amazing for us.

Oh, yeah. I mean, maybe you should invite him over to do it one day.

Yeah, I should.

I mean, we'll just see how the PR thing goes, you know? Yeah.

I think it'll be fine. Yeah, I think it'll be okay. It'll be all good. Yeah,

mean, you've taught me how to do everything, so I learned from the best.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yes, I love it.

I mean, I don't know everything, but, I mean, I think if I would agree that I

know a lot of stuff.

Maybe, I don't know, maybe, do you want to go shopping to pick out an outfit, or

should we choose something from your wardrobe?

I don't want to go shopping, but as long as we don't go in that store, because

that would be kind of weird. Yeah, that's fair enough. Maybe we should

like, a backup wardrobe from home.

Okay. And then we'll still go shopping, but just in case we don't find anything,

because lately the shops have been not very good.

Yeah, okay.

Maybe I should get some new shoes, too.

Yeah.

How tall is he?

I mean, he's, like, way taller than me, honestly. I could wear heels and be

fine. Okay, you'd be all right. Yeah.

I don't think you can wear heels when you go to games. You're right.

Oh, my gosh.

I'm telling you, I'm not a gamer girl.

Yeah.

She's in here.

So I think you should wear, like, some flat, but, like, cute,

like, maybe a handle.

Really cute.

A really cute dress.

Yeah.

Yeah. What about that little polka dot one?

That we bought, like, a couple years back.

I like that one. It's like a little sundress, and it's, like, cute, but it's

not, like, trying too hard.

I mean, Anthony, what do you think your sister should wear on this date?

Yeah. What would it more like?

I mean, I'm more into gaming and stuff, so the VR would actually be better. So

if you're going to do VR... Yeah, but we're not talking about VR, though.

talking about what you're going to wear.

I know, but that kind of depends on what you're going to do, right? I mean, you

don't want to wear what you look like at gaming.

Well, yeah, we covered that already.

Well, then, yeah, I think, I think you should just, I don't know, whatever,

whatever you feel makes you feel, like, confident lately.

Maybe if it's, like, you know, VR, I should do, um, maybe

I should do, like, a cute, like, streetwear set.

Oh, yeah.

You know, like, some cute, maybe, like foot pants and sneakers.

Oh, yeah, cute. With a tiny top.

Yeah, that could work.

I think that would be like kind of gamer girl.

Yeah, I agree. I think you should have your hair kind of similar to like what

you've got.

That wasn't great, by the way. You know,

honey, work is work.

It comes up.

It goes and it comes. Did you get that big beater in the end?

Did you close the deal or is it still in the process?

I don't know, something.

I'm almost closing it, so don't worry.

Oh, that's so cool.

I know.

Is it going to end soon?

Are you going to be able to come home earlier?

Hopefully.

We'll see what happens.

Well, at least you got to spend some Kool -Aid time together.

Yeah, you know, I just wish it happened more, you know.

We need to carve out family time more.

Yeah. We should do game night.

Yeah.

Play some games together.

That reminds me though, because you're away so much at the moment, we need to

get the garden afforded.

The grass is getting way too long at the moment.

I need to have more responsibility as well. Whoa, look at him taking

responsibility. I know.

When? I want to be like Dan, you know.

He's almost there.

He's got to learn how to do laundry.

That's true, son.

I know.

Well, I would appreciate that. I can show him.

You can show him how to do the gardening. You've never touched a

your fucking life. I mean,

I can show him how to do laundry.

Yeah, she's good at laundry. Yeah.

A little brother -sister moment, you know?

Yeah. All right.

Okay, well, thank you.

Yeah, of course. Anything for you, Mom.

Oh, you're so sweet.

Can you guys believe summer's about to start? I mean, we're going to be home

the time now.

Well, we have to plan a thing with kids and stuff like that.

Yeah. Should we go stay close to home?

Let's go camping.

Yeah. We haven't done that in so long. A little summer camping. Yeah.

I'd love that.

Yeah. Especially with s'mores.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

Because I'm not from here and, you know,

s'mores. You were the first person to give me a small one just like a couple

years ago.

Oh, yeah. That was one of our greatest times. I know.

It was so good.

And we could

go fishing in the lake.

You guys want to go fishing?

Oh, fishing sounds good.

I'll leave that to y 'all.

Oh, a little fishing scene?

I mean, I'll be supportive, but I don't want to smell like fish.

You don't smell like fish if you're fishing.

If you don't want to go fishing, maybe we could go rock climbing or something.

Yeah. Just take the blade and shit.

Rock climbing would be fun.

New love is so sweet.

Oh, man.

You want that?

Yes, I do.

I don't know.

To be young in love, it's not like that.

I'm just so nervous for the date.

You're going to be just fine.

Yeah, sweet. Don't worry. You'll be fine, okay?

Yeah. Nerves are good. That means you like this kid, okay?

Yeah.

I love you.

Just be yourself.

Thanks, Mommy.

You're good.

Do you guys think I can go past curfew for this day?

Oh, hell yeah.

Yay!

I can give you a curfew for you guys.

Yeah, whatever.

Whatever's good with you guys, though, okay?

Yay!

Especially if you're living just like that guy.

Yeah, but I was telling Mom that I wanted to have sex with him. Yeah,

so if that happens, I don't want to be rushed.

Honey, you know, having sex before you get married is kind of a deal.

Really?

Really, it's a deal.

It's fine to learn how to do all of these fun things with the people that

you're, like, closest to, but he's still a stranger. We haven't met him yet.

I know. I mean, I just really like him.

Well, can't wait to meet him then.

Do you need to go slowly?

Yeah. I just want to meet him.

I will.

You guys know I'm not patient.

Yeah, I don't know, baby.

What is it about him that you really like?

I don't know. You just have, like, this vibe to him. Like, um...

Is he a bait boy, or is he a... No, he's like, um... I

don't know, like a... Like, he's into fashion, you know?

Oh, wow!

Like, he dresses really well.

I told you, these new kids, huh?

You know, I mean, one of my friends said that he has big dick energy.

Oh, okay.

Yeah. I've never heard of that term. No, I haven't.

Does that mean that you have big dick energy, maybe?

Maybe, I do. I don't know.

Did they tell you what they meant?

No, they just said, oh, he has big dick energy. I don't know.

Interesting. Yeah.

I mean, I trust my friend.

what they think, and they seem to like him, but, you know.

You know,

it would be really good to know, like, your experience with this stuff.

You know? Oh, yeah? Yeah.

As in my first boyfriend?

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah, I can tell you about that.

Yeah.

Gosh, I have to try and remember it even. It was going on the boat.

Yeah.

Like that. Yeah.

He's so dreamy.

Yeah.

Right from the beginning, we hit it off.

And then what'd you do?

Because they didn't like me.

I had to sneak out a lot.

Okay,

yeah.

Oh,

so can I do that?

Oh, okay.

Yes, you can.

Just be careful, please.

Okay.

And then, I mean, I don't know.

Did it work out?

At least for a little bit. I mean, you know.

Oh,

for a little bit?

We dated for five years. Oh, okay.

to have that in your life.

But the important thing to remember, though, sweetheart, is your first love

not necessarily a true love.

You know?

You might meet this boy and you might feel like he's the one now and it's okay

if it doesn't last like it didn't last with him.

You know what I mean?

You don't need to get too heartbroken over it. It doesn't last.

I mean, stepdad is always here to help you recover from a breakup.

You know, she's so good at that. Whatever it is.

It's what I always said I'll do whenever I became a parent.

That's what I'm doing. Yeah. You take such good care of them. You make sure

they need's a mat. He's a great dad.

He is a great dad.

I don't know if he's a good dad.

We're going to have to find something for you to do the day that she goes on

this date because I feel like you're going to have a hard time.

I know.

What have you been wanting to do lately?

I mean,

I don't know.

Kind of considering maybe, like, going into, like, art or something.

Doing? Like, art. Oh, yeah, okay.

I read a debate, so, I mean, after debate, I was like, oh.

There's something that I have to use left words and more, you know, like,

of your imagination.

Yeah, are you thinking, like, paint, are you thinking? What are you thinking?

I don't know.

I mean, digital art's pretty cool.

You know, I'm kind of in right now, right?

Yeah.

My God, and there's so many different things that he could do with that. Oh,

yeah, especially now with AI coming about.

You know,

it's very useful that you can do stuff like that.

Yeah, I'm sure we can scrounge the money together.

Yeah. For you to go into a course. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. Oh, that'd be

awesome. That'd actually be cool.

I've got anything for you. Okay.

Amazing. You guys are wonderful.

No, we're just, you know, trying to give you the best chance at life.

Also, we want you to leave home one day, eventually.

Not yet, but, you know, we want you to be able to send your own two feet.

Yeah, and when you do go out on your own two feet, you want to make sure that

you already have your feet cemented before you do, okay? Yeah. Oh, no.

Aw.

You know, you made it mean something that can make you make something.

Yeah.

Yeah, I can do that.

That'd be pretty cool. I went to look at some the other day and it was just

ridiculous.

How's spending $5 ,000 on painting?

Inflation is everywhere these days, huh? I know, it's ridiculous.

We've got our own little artist here.

Yeah, I mean, I don't know yet.

I still have to take some courses, you know.

I feel I have a lot of faith in you. I think you can do it. Oh, thanks.

And maybe you'll be able to, I don't know, make some extra money on the side.

Yeah, hopefully.

I don't know what I'm going to make you guys for dinner tomorrow.

Does anyone have any requests?

I don't know, maybe some meatloaf or something like that?

Meatloaf? You never want meatloaf.

I haven't had meatloaf in a while.

Talking to my head.

Okay. Yeah?

I don't have everything for it, but if you can go to the shop, so when you

finish right tomorrow, then you can definitely make one.

Maybe I will bake a cake.

Ooh. Mmm.

That sounds good. Yeah? I feel like a little sweet tooth.

Kind of.

Yeah?

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay.

Can you get some rolls from the store?

You have to. I really want rolls.

Yeah.

Is there anything that you need to clean up?

I don't know.

Maybe some, like, cereal or something.

Cereal? Yeah.

I'm going to make you, like, a list with some cleaning products and stuff, babe.

Whatever you put down, everything you need in the list, and I'll go and get it

for you. Okay.

Cool.

It's easy enough.

You should help. You should help me tomorrow.

Yeah? Yeah, I would love to help.

No, no, you need a lamp.

Okay.

You want to learn how to make my famous carrot cake?

Oh, yeah.

This is a reaction from all of you guys.

I know, I'm so good.

That would be perfect. And then, you know, later down the road, a couple

I can make your carrot cake and impress everyone with it.

I don't know if it's that good. I feel like you guys would ham it up.

Maybe we should get some ice cream, too.

Yeah, some ice cream. Maybe I'll get some, like, chocolate chip cookies we

put in there. Yeah.

Yeah. Maybe we can make some ice cream sandwiches, also.

Ooh, yes.

Yeah,

you did say you'd take me to the ice cream store after my math homework.

Oh, I didn't say that. You what? I didn't say that.

Hey. What is this?

She's doing such a good job. We're the first to be doing this together,

sweetheart. I know. She's doing such a good job with her math homework. I just

want some reward.

Well, I mean, I should be rewarded, too. Yeah, exactly.

For doing a good job with mine.

Fine, fine.

We'll all go first. Okay. Why don't we go after him?

Yeah, we can go after him. That sounds good.

Okay.

That's a good idea.

Why don't we start getting ready for that then? Yeah.

Okay.

Alright, let's do it.