Original subtitles

(PIANO PLAYING)

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

Hope you've thought it over, and changed your mind.

I've thought it over, but I haven't changed my mind.

Going into your teens is an important occasion.

Mama, it's my birthday.

If I don't wanna have a party, why do we have to talk about it.

It's past your bedtime, Elizabeth.

Maybe you'll change your mind in the morning.

(PLAYING PIANO)

(DISCORDANT NOTE)

(PIANO PLAYING)

JOHN-BOY: The approach of a birthday in our family

has always been a time of excitement and joy,

but there was one notable exception.

On Elizabeth's 13th birthday, it seemed that she wasn't sure

whether she wanted the clock to turn forward or backward.

Ow! Rats!

I twisted my ankle. I thought I was going to set a new record.

You did, you're the oldest girl in the world to play games.

Didn't you ever feel, all of a sudden,

like doing things you used to when you were a little kid?

No.

Well, I do.

The way you are behaving, no one would believe

that you're gonna be 13 soon.

What do I care what people believe?

Okay, but until you start acting grown-up,

I'm going to walk home by myself.

ELIZABETH: See if I care!

I'll act the way I want to act.

Having fun?

Enjoy it while you can.

(SIGHS)

You don't know how fast the years go by.

Jason, could you do me a favor?

Don't talk to the driver while the car is in motion.

Come on, Jason, stop playing. I've got a test to study for.

-Study upstairs. -It's cooler down here.

Elizabeth, I have a great idea for a radio program

and I have to get the music down pat. I audition tomorrow.

Mama's opening the apple cider, come and get it.

Come on, Elizabeth.

(PAPERS RUFFLING)

I have to go up and study.

-Take some with you. -I don't want any.

There's one for Ripley.

A girl who'd rather do her homework

than have a glass of homemade apple cider.

Elizabeth coming?

-She doesn't want any. -JIM-BOB: Dibs on her share!

Did she say, she's not feeling well?

Well, she hasn't said much of anything to me lately.

Hardly see her except at meals. She's keeping to herself.

She's in one of her moods.

She says she, doesn't even want a birthday party.

ERIN: She hasn't told me

what she wants for a present. Last year, she made up a list.

JOHN: It's hard to believe a whole year's passed.

Sometimes she seems like a different person.

Of all my children, Elizabeth is the most mysterious.

JIM-BOB: Wait a minute. I know what we can get her,

a Shirley Temple doll.

When we were in Rockfish, she saw one in a store.

Couldn't take her eyes off of it.

JASON: Girls at 13 don't play with dolls.

OLIVIA: Thirteen isn't exactly middle-aged, you know?

ERIN: We must get her something that makes her feel older.

I've embroidered her some pillowcases.

Looks to me like Ben and me

should finish up that hope chest we started.

The baby of the family turning into a teenager.

That's what's bothering her.

You all remember being 13? It isn't easy.

Yep, I wouldn't wanna be 13 again, for anything.

All the things you have to put up with.

Worrying about your face

and feeling like you have two left feet.

OLIVIA: Being taller than all the boys. Those are hard years.

It's like a roller coaster.

JOHN: (LAUGHS) I'm amazed, you can remember that far back, Liv.

(ALL LAUGHING)

OLIVIA: No more apple cider for you, John Walton.

(JOHN EXCLAIMING)

JIM-BOB: Wonder what that was.

-ELIZABETH: I didn't do it. -How did it happen?

I don't know.

Well, you were right here, Elizabeth.

Yes, but I didn't see anything, I just heard it crash.

It sure didn't fall off the mantel by itself.

Doesn't matter how it happened, get a broom and sweep it up.

I told you the truth, Daddy.

I don't know any more about it than you do.

(DOOR CREAKS)

(SIGHS)

(DOOR SHUTS)

"The bower where we met for kisses sweet.

"Did shower gentle blossoms at our feet.

"And in its shade we pledged undying love.

"While warblers trilled...."

Organ music and mushy poetry.

Big hit with lonely old ladies, big flop for everyone else.

So, what we need is something to get the young and the old.

JASON: "As once more I stood there, and thought how strange

"the passing years had brought such little change...."

Boy does sound like someone you'd trust.

Denby, remember that half-hour script I bought last month?

The Uncle George Show?

Now, that's something for all age groups.

Of course, he's a little young to play an uncle.

Maybe if we called him Cousin George.

Too bad, Jason. I knew all that love poetry would lay an egg.

They did?

You are?

Your own show?

Well, what's it all about?

Okay, I'll be surprised.

Well, of course, I'll tell the family.

Yeah, we'll be listening.

8:30, okay. And, Jason, congratulations.

My brother, the radio announcer.

My brother, the radio announcer.

(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

"Good evening, everyone. This is your Cousin George.

"The man you turn to

"when you hit a bump on the rocky road to love.

"Here's a letter signed, 'Desperate.'

"It's from a girl of 18

"who's in love with a married man in his 40s,

Listen to this, Jason giving advice to the lovelorn.

Hurry up, Cousin George, I can hardly wait.

(EVERYBODY CHUCKLING)

"Dear Desperate.

"There are almost always good reasons

"why forbidden fruits are forbidden.

"Break it off now before you break your heart."

A star is born.

He sounds so different, you'd hardly know it's Jason.

You know, this program is just corny enough to catch on.

What are the forbidden fruits?

(LAUGHING)

Elizabeth, you should know that stuff by now.

Don't laugh.

Hey, Elizabeth, peaches, pears and apples.

Jim-Bob.

(PHONE RINGING)

I'll get it.

Hello?

Hello?

That's strange, no one's here.

Leave it off the hook, Cousin George is about to talk.

Dear Cousin George,

how come you always hit bumps on the road of love?

(ALL LAUGHING)

"Dear Miserable, when you've lived as long as I have,

"you'll know that perfection is an unattainable ideal.

"Since you believe that, in spite of everything,

"your husband still loves you, you're way ahead of most people

"whose marriages haven't lived up to their hopes.

"Don't give up. Try harder.

"Do everything you possibly can to work it out."

And that's all we have time for tonight.

If you have a problem, write to Cousin George--

-It's time for bed, Aimee. -Can't I finish this chapter?

You mean "May I?", and the answer is, "No, you may not."

It is important that a girl of your age

follow a precise daily routine.

-Oh, well, goodnight. -Goodnight, precious.

-Goodnight. -Goodnight, sweetie.

(LAUGHING)

Corabeth, you should hear this one.

This guy in a defense plant, says to this other guy--

I haven't the slightest interest

in the crude humor of your cartoons.

(DOOR CLOSES)

"Dear Cousin George,

"is it unreasonable for a lady of breeding

"to expect her husband to improve himself culturally?

"We are no longer young, and have few interests...."

"We are no longer young,

"and have absolutely no interests in common."

(CAR DOOR SLAMMING)

-That was great, cousin. -Really sounded good, son.

You really think so?

You were wonderful. I wish you could've heard yourself.

It didn't even sound like you were nervous.

Thanks. I was nervous.

There's a lot riding on this.

If enough people write in to Cousin George,

I'll be on three times a week.

Otherwise....

Three times a week? Once a week is plenty.

-John. -Thanks a lot.

(WALTONS LAUGHING)

(CLATTERING)

(CLATTERING)

What was that?

Sounds like something hitting the roof.

It's probably squirrels.

If it was the acorns are getting bigger.

(THUDDING)

(SCREAMS)

Mama! Mama!

Mama!

OLIVIA: What is it, sweetie? Are you okay?

A stone floated through the window.

-Somebody throwing stones here? -No, Daddy, it floated.

It floated onto the chest

and then onto the floor where you are standing.

Honey, there's nothing over here.

But I saw it.

I tried to touch it and it moved away.

-You must have been dreaming. -It wasn't a dream.

Well, Elizabeth, you were sound asleep just a few minutes ago.

Stones don't float, honey.

Sometimes you wake up from a bad dream

and you think that it really happened.

But it did, Mama.

It floated through the window, onto the chest,

and then there on the floor.

And then, it slipped under the bed. I can prove it to you.

It was right...

But I saw it.

I did, Daddy. I saw it.

I saw it, Daddy.

There's not a thing in the world

wrong with this phone, Mr. Walton.

Did you check the wiring?

He's taken the whole thing apart.

How do you explain it ringing 10 times a day, and no one answers?

Must be somebody playing tricks on you.

What are those?

Found these on the roof outside Elizabeth's window.

Wonder where Ben and Jim-Bob were last night?

-They were asleep in bed. -As far as we know.

Well, I guess that explains it.

Elizabeth must've heard those and dreamed the rest.

(PHONE RINGING)

You answer it.

Hello, Walton house.

Hello?

-Hello? -No one there.

People do that sometimes, keep ringing just to bother a person.

I can't think of anyone who would want to do that to us.

You never know.

I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do.

This phone's in A-1 condition.

I wish there was more, but that's it.

Bye, Mr. Walton, Mrs. Walton.

JOHN: Bye.

Phone's acting up, vase breaks by itself,

Elizabeth sees a rock that isn't there. What's going on here?

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

OLIVIA: Come in, Aimee.

I came to make up with Elizabeth.

I didn't know you two had had a falling out.

Yes, ma'am, we did.

I got kind of mad at her. She was acting babyish.

Would you like some cookies and milk before you go upstairs?

-Yes, please. -Have a seat.

Erin said, I'm too old to play with you, Katie.

Isn't that just silly?

(CHAIR ROCKING)

(GASPS)

(BANGING)

(SCREAMING)

-What is it? -Mama, I'm scared.

-What is it? What happened? -What was all that noise?

Well, the chair, it....

It jumped up and down on the floor, and then it fell over.

Elizabeth, chairs don't fall over by themselves.

But it did!

AIMEE: It fell over all by itself?

There's no use talking about it if no one's going to believe me.

Elizabeth, we want to believe you.

Why would she make up a story like that?

I suppose she's not getting enough attention lately?

This, the leg is broken, too.

If that's her way of asking for attention,

I'll give her some she doesn't like.

John, we have been kind of busy lately.

-I'll talk to her. -Pretty good response.

And I've read enough to know, it's a perfect cross section.

All ages, all kinds of problems.

Jason, I'm putting you on three times a week, starting tonight.

That's great, Mr. Larkin. I'll start studying the script now.

Script? No, there isn't any script.

You pick out the best letters, and dream up the good answers.

You expect me to give advice to the lovelorn?

Of course. The script you read was just to set the pattern.

From now on, you write your own, Cousin George.

But, Jason, I just don't have the time.

Alright, one more.

How about this?

A girl of 23 says, her husband's jealous of their baby.

What should she do?

Tell him to go jump in a lake.

Oh, come on, Mary Ellen, I've gotta have good answers.

You know how much I know about romance and marriage.

Jason, I'm sorry, but I have to go to John Curtis.

-Put Mama on. -She's not here. Goodbye.

(SIGHS)

A girl of 23.

Dear Wondering.

(SIGHS)

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

(DOOR OPENING)

Elizabeth, Jason's radio show is about to start.

-You gonna listen with us? -It's a dumb program.

All about people's problems.

You and Aimee made up your differences yet?

We always do.

You know, honey,

some of the things going on here got us kind of worried.

We don't know what to think.

Daddy, that chair fell over.

You're telling me. I'm the one who fixed the leg, remember?

Elizabeth, something bothering you?

I don't know who I am anymore.

Well, that happens, you know.

You're about the age when you're gonna be going around a corner

and you're not quite sure what's around there.

It's weird, I feel all different inside.

Well, your outsides look the same.

Same beautiful red hair, same nose.

Yeah, same freckles.

That smile's a little different. It's more like this now.

Aimee says, Corabeth calls it puberty.

(CHUCKLING)

Well, Corabeth's likely to know about those kind of things.

I guess, I'm going to go downstairs and listen to Jason.

That's my girl.

Come on.

Good evening, everyone. This is your Cousin George.

The man you turn to when you hit a bump

on the rocky road of love.

(RADIO STATIC BUZZING)

What happened to the radio?

Jim-Bob, check the aerial.

Maybe it's a bum tube. Why don't you check for it?

Couldn't be. I just checked them.

Fine time for it to quit. Jason was just getting started.

Jim-Bob will fix it.

Elizabeth, would you get me a screwdriver?

-Get it yourself. -I'm doing the work.

-Why don't you get it? -Turn blue.

-Just go get him a screwdriver? -Come on.

JASON ON RADIO: "We are no longer young and have absolutely

"no interests in common.

"Can you suggest anything short of divorce

"which might improve this deplorable situation?

"Signed, Frustrated."

Dear Frustrated,

my advice to you is to expose your husband

as much as possible to the better things in life.

Tune in to classical music whenever he's at home,

read poetry aloud to him.

Encourage him to attend night classes in the arts.

In my experience with others who've had the same sort of--

(RADIO STATIC BUZZING)

Fine time for it to act up.

Somebody hit it.

Let's go to my room, my radio's working fine.

JOHN: That's probably how it broke, people hitting it.

-I'll tune in the station. -I'll do it.

I'd better before somebody ordered me to do it.

(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)

I wish it would make up it's mind.

That was what was happening on John's other wife.

You know, you talk about nutty things.

Every time Elizabeth walks into the room, the radio turns off.

And when she goes out, it comes on.

(RADIO STATIC BUZZING)

I forgot the number of the station.

(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)

(BANGS)

The minute Aimee told me of the strange occurrences

in the Walton household,

I was reminded of a similar situation back home in Doe Hill.

Stones falling out of the sky,

crockery flying, strange noises.

Don't you find Mozart so very precise?

Yeah.

Would you mind turning it down?

I keep getting the creamed corn mixed up with okra.

Of course, I don't believe in such things myself,

but the manifestations were said to be a poltergeist.

A poultry who?

It's a mean spirit that invades the home of a young person

and plays nasty tricks on everyone.

(SHUSHES) Now here they are.

Now, not a word of what I've been saying.

Ike, here's a list of things for the baby.

Okay, Mary Ellen. Olivia?

Elizabeth and I are just along for the walking.

Oh. Baby powder?

Gonna use it on the poultry-ghost?

Mr. Godsey, the word is "poltergeist,"

and I specifically asked you not to bring it up.

Well, Aimee told us about the chair banging around

and all those other things.

And Corabeth thought that you've got a polter....

A poltergeist in your house.

Whatever it is,

there's got to be a better explanation for it, than that.

Corabeth, tell them about Doe Hill,

and the stones going through the air and those other things.

Superstitious nonsense.

I'm sorry, I even mentioned it.

It seems to me, I've read about that.

What is a poltergeist?

IKE: You don't have to be frightened.

It's, Corabeth says, it's just a little spirit.

There is no such thing and we will not talk about it anymore.

Elizabeth and I will be waiting outside, Mary Ellen. Come on.

Olivia, I don't think Elizabeth believes in ghosts anyway.

OLIVIA: Should have left a forwarding address.

ELIZABETH: I wanted to be alone for a while.

You've been alone quite a bit lately.

Mama, do you believe in poltergeists?

No, I don't. I'm glad you don't.

Do you?

Well, I thought about it a lot today.

Do you think all those things I told you I saw,

I could've just made up?

Well, you always did have a pretty good imagination.

It's different.

It's like I'm going crazy.

It's a real scary feeling.

That's the way I felt, when I went to visit Aunt Kate.

I was coming into a new time in my life

and it seemed like everything was just flying apart.

Adolescence is like that, too.

When does it stop?

It'll be over before you know it.

I hope you don't look back and feel sorry

that you couldn't enjoy a very special time in your life.

Mama,

I think I might like to have a birthday party after all.

I was hoping you'd change your mind.

But not with party hats and balloons.

I'm too old for that.

How about a slumber party the night before your birthday?

Your girlfriends can stay in the living room all night.

You can stay up till midnight if you want to.

How old was Erin when she had her first slumber party?

Thirteen.

So was Mary Ellen.

Okay.

Jason.

Ike, what're you doing here?

I thought I'd run into you if I come over here.

Listen, you know all about college classes.

Do they have music appreciation classes at night?

Every night, except Saturday and Sunday.

I was afraid of that. They're probably filled though?

Not a chance. Those classes are held in the auditorium.

I guess, I'm in for it.

Boy, I really dread coming over here two nights a week.

Corabeth says, one night a week is not enough.

Ike, maybe while Corabeth's in her classes you can go

to a movie or visit friends or something.

No, I'm the one that's in the classes.

Slow torture, two nights a week.

Why does Corabeth want you to take music appreciation classes?

Well, there's this joker on the radio,

and he gives advice to people who write in and ask questions,

and he told Corabeth that I should be exposed

to the better things in life.

And so, she's got me listening to long-hair music in the store

all day long and she's spouting poetry aloud.

She's got me reading Shakespeare.

Ike, why don't you just refuse to go along with all that?

Sometimes a guy's got to give up things

if he wants his marriage to work out.

I guess you're right there.

But there oughta be a law

against a radio program like that.

Nobody's got the right to tell others how to run their lives.

You know what I mean?

Liv, I've been worried.

I thought you were going to the Rockfish Library.

They didn't have the book I wanted.

I had to go to Charlottesville.

Must be a pretty important book.

I wanted to look up poltergeists for myself.

Now, Liv, you're not starting to believe all that, are you?

I don't know what to believe.

All I know is I don't like what's been happening here.

I hope that book relieves your mind.

-Want some coffee? -Yeah.

They've done a lot of research on poltergeists.

Scientists all over the world.

How can they research something they can't even see?

Well, they don't have absolute proof, but they think they will.

What proof they got of what?

I haven't really had a chance to read too much,

but from what I can gather,

all those strange things that are supposed to happen

when poltergeists are around, they always seem to happen

when there's a child around 12 or 14 years old.

-Just like Elizabeth? -Yeah.

I haven't read much about it, but it seems like there's....

The child is afraid of growing up or something.

Afraid of added responsibility, you know.

That fear turns into anger

and the anger gets all bottled up inside,

and that energy is what causes all those things to happen.

Liv, you show me a chair in the air or a poltergeist

and I'll believe all that stuff.

I don't know whether to believe myself.

But there it is in black and white.

Goodnight, Katie.

(WHISPERING) Erin. Erin!

Honey, aren't you gonna be late for school?

No, Daddy.

The refrigerator's full of soft drinks and I got lots of snacks.

Potato chips, cookies. Can you think of anything else?

No, Mama.

You want me to put up some streamers? Paper streamers?

No, thank you.

For a girl who's having a party,

you don't seem very excited. Did you sleep alright?

Yeah.

Hope you have a nice day, honey.

I wish I didn't have to go to school.

I wish I could just stay here.

Oh, my goodness.

You're getting to be quite a lapful, you know?

Pretty soon, I'll be too big for everything.

Thank you.

Mind if I walk along with you a ways?

No.

I was just thinking back to when I was 13.

Wasn't an easy time.

I did a lot of things I'm not proud of.

Like what?

Picking arguments,

sassing people,

walking around with a chip on my shoulder.

I was mad at the whole world, but I didn't know why.

-I know now. I was afraid. -Afraid of what?

Afraid of not living up to what

I thought grownups expected of a 13 year old.

I didn't want to grow up, I wanted to stay a little girl.

Do you ever feel like that?

Maybe once in a while.

Sometimes when people are frightened, it makes them angry.

I think that's what happened to me.

But I didn't keep it all bottled up inside.

Do you think that's what could be bothering you?

Nothing's brothering me, Mama.

Elizabeth,

we don't grow up all at once.

We do it a day at a time.

Your daddy and I are gonna here while you're doing it.

I'm gonna be late for school. Got to go.

What about a girl who's living alone

because her husband's in the Army?

Now, an old friend comes to town and asks her out to dinner.

ERIN: Jason!

MARY ELLEN: Keep your eyes on the road, please.

Stop crawling or I'll be late to work.

Now, they're just good friends. No romance.

-You think she oughta go? -That depends.

-Depends on what? -On a lot of things.

That's all I know. She didn't write anything else.

-I don't know what to tell you. -Neither do I.

Oh, come on. I've gotta have some answers.

Jason, I don't like telling other people

how to handle their serious personal problems.

I agree with that.

What if you gave someone some bad advice and they followed it?

You could ruin a marriage or a romance.

That's what's been bothering me.

Suppose I tell her to write to him and ask him if it's--

BOTH: Jason!

CORABETH: "Wilt thou be gone?

"It is not yet near day:

"It was the nightingale, and not the lark,

"that pierced the fearful hollow of thine ear.

"Nightly she sings on yon pomegranate tree.

"Oh, believe me love, it was the nightingale."

Romeo.

"It was the lark, the herald of the morn.

"No nightingale.

"Look love, what envious streaks

"do lace the severing clouds in yonder east.

"Night's candles are burnt out, and...."

What's that word?

"Jocund."

"Jocund...." You knew that?

"day stands tiptoe on the misty mountain tops.

"I must be gone and live, or stay and die."

Pray, allow me.

"Yon light is not daylight, I know it.

"It is some meteor that the sun exhales,

to be to thee this night a torch-bearer,

"and light thee on thy way to Mantua.

"Therefore stay yet, thou need'st not to be gone."

Listen, Juliet.

If I'm staying, we oughta tune in on Cousin George.

Oh, dear me. So soon.

I had allowed Mr. William Shakespeare

to transport me to another time and place.

(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)

Well, I never thought I'd be glad to listen to Cousin George.

JASON ON RADIO: "...break off the engagement

"or accept his excuse and see if it happens again?"

Dear Worried, I can understand

why it's hard for you to make up your mind.

But it seems perfectly clear to me....

Well, not perfectly clear. But it does seem to me....

That is, it did seem to me.

Oh, come on, Jason.

(CLEARING THROAT) Excuse me.

It seems to me that his excuse is pretty flimsy

and I think you should break off the engagement.

Our next letter is from....

No, don't break it off.

Maybe you should and maybe you shouldn't. I just don't know.

I'm not qualified to tell you or anybody what to do.

I'm just a country boy named Jason Walton,

with hardly any experience in love and none in marriage.

I hope I haven't hurt anybody by giving bad advice, and I....

(INAUDIBLE)

There goes the ballgame.

I'm proud of Jason.

Took a lot of guts to do what he did.

We're not letting Jason tell us how to run our lives, are we?

I don't know about you.

You can read Shakespeare if you want to. But I'm gonna, relax.

(SCREAMING)

(ALL LAUGHING)

Hop on the pillow. Quick, throw them up.

Until tonight, I thought it was boys that made the most racket.

OLIVIA: They seem to be having a hilarious time.

It'll do Elizabeth good to laugh.

That's the only reason I'm not telling them to hold it down.

I gave them till midnight.

Another 20 minutes, I'll put a stop to it.

Good. Then maybe we can get some sleep around here.

(ALL GIGGLING)

Run!

(SQUEALING)

-Okay, I've got a great idea. -Okay.

-Ooh, God. -I wonder what she's planned.

ELIZABETH: I don't know.

I'm going to tell a story, a ghost story.

I don't like ghost stories.

Oh, but you'll love this one, it's about a haunted house.

But someone has to turn out the lights.

(GIRLS LAUGHING)

(GASPING)

How did you do that?

AIMEE: I didn't do it.

They went off by themselves.

Somebody's trying to scare us.

Turn them on, Elizabeth.

(SWITCH CLICKING)

They won't work.

(PIANO PLAYING)

(GIRLS SCREAMING)

(WIND HOWLING)

(GIRLS SCREAMING HYSTERICALLY)

ELIZABETH: Stop!

Stop!

Stop!

Stop! Stop!

OLIVIA: Stop screaming.

ELIZABETH: The chair flew up off the floor! We saw it!

I can't get this window down.

I can't get these lights on, either.

(GIRLS SCREAMING)

Ben will drive you all home. Ben, Ben.

Ben get dressed, take care of the girls.

BEN: I can't move this....

Get dressed, take care of the girls. I'll get that.

(CLAMORING)

(SCREAMING)

(PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)

I don't know what's going on, but I want it to stop!

Mama, daddy, make it go away.

We can't, Elizabeth, only you can do that.

I can't!

Elizabeth, honey, you've got to help us.

I'm afraid.

We're not gonna let anything happen.

We're here, we'll always be here.

No, that's a lie!

Elizabeth, what is it?

I don't want, I don't want to grow up and move away!

I don't want you and Daddy to get old and die!

I'm afraid!

-And angry! -Yes!

(SCREAMING) Yes! Yes!

Yes....

(SOBBING)

-It's alright. -It's alright, honey.

Come on, baby. Come on.

We're gonna be with you, honey, for a long, long time.

Come on.

Come on.

JOHN-BOY: Elizabeth's birthday came and went

and none of the strange things that had been happening

ever happened again.

Were there really poltergeists in the house?

Scientists are still looking for answers to questions like that.

All we know is that we never found any other explanation.

JIM-BOB: Dear Cousin George, I'm gonna be married next week.

JASON: Congratulations.

JIM-BOB: My bride's mother wants to come along on the honeymoon.

JASON: Better find out first if she snores.

ERIN: P.S. I forgot to mention that I'm a midget in a circus,

and the man who proposed to me is the giant. Signed, Undecided.

JASON: Goodnight, Undecided.

ERIN: Goodnight, Cousin George.

ELIZABETH: Goodnight, everyone. ALL: Goodnight, Elizabeth.