All language subtitles for The.Female.Brain.2018.720p.BluRay.x264-DRONES.2

- Okay, is this?

Hello?

I am Julia Benzedrine
and I am a neurologist.

I know, sounds geeky.

But I basically stare into
people's heads all day,

which is a dream for me because ever since

I was a kid I've always
wished I could read

people's minds.

Life is so much easier
now that I have a machine

that lets me see inside people's brains.

I can even find out someone's
emotional intelligence

by showing them photos
of faces and then seeing

if they can identify
the expressions on them.

Sorry, I'm being such a dork, but come on.

How cool is that?

Anyway, I, I work at a
university now and I think

what ultimately drives my research today

is my fascination and frustration
with phrases like this.

Women are crazy.

Men are stupid.

Women are obsessed with marriage.

Men are obsessed with sex.

Right?

These are all stereotypes
that at one point

or another we've probably all heard.

Maybe even thought.

Now, I'm not only gonna talk
about the female brain today.

We know a lot more about the male brain,

but that's mostly because
they've been studied more.

We know that, uh, men have
bigger heads and thicker skulls.

And in the old days,
scientists used to think

that that meant that they
had bigger brains too.

But in 1995, we found out that women have

the exact same number of
brain cells, just jammed

into a smaller space.

So, if we just found that
out recently then what else

don't we know about the
male and the female brain?

Well, we already know that
we struggle to understand

and relate to each other,
but the good news is

that in my studies I
discovered a lot about

how our primal neurology
effects and sometimes sabotages

our relationships.

This is Steven and Lisa
and they've been married

for 12 years.

Now, like any couple Steven
and Lisa have their issues,

but what if I could tell you
that a lot of their problems

actually have a biological basis.

- What are you doing, dude?

Get off!

- I feel like this mirror

is gonna fall.

What do you think?

- I don't know.

I'm 40.

- Now you come on, get up.

Help me.

- So I figure, wouldn't
it be helpful to just see

inside their heads to find out
why they act the way they do?

Well, first of all, it's helpful to know

that women are generally more sensitive

to threats than men are.

This is because of the part of the brain

that senses danger, the amygdala.

In women, this area is
more easily activated

which is why we're more
attuned to potential dangers

that men may not even notice.

It also doesn't help that we're
typically smaller than men

and full of holes.

- Hurry LIP-

- So, the reason
couples are less passionate

after being together
for a while is because

after about two years their
brains stop producing dopamine.

The feel good chemical.

After that, they produce
Oxycontin which bonds you

with someone.

This explains why Steven
and Lisa are less sexual,

but more committed.

And yes, this even happens
to attractive people.

- Are you gonna pick up
Ty at school or am I?

- I'm done early, I'll do it.

- Okay, let go.

- It's, it's the same thing.

- Whatever.

- Oh, come on.

- Mom, let's go!

- Okay-

- Ow, ow!

- This is Lexi and Adam.

They've been together
for two or three years

depending on who you ask.

- Ow, oh, oh, ow.

Better, right?

- What am I looking at?

- You don't notice anything different?

- Oh, oh, yeah!

That is better.

- What is?

- Your face.

- Eyebrows!

- Oh, right.

Oh, Yeah, yeah.

- Or do you think I need to darken them?

I don't know, I feel like
suddenly I've got this fringe.

They kind of, they kind of
disappear and it makes me look

a bit ill.

- The area of the brain
responsible for recognizing

errors and flaws is larger
in the female brain.

This makes women more
self-conscious and more likely

to be perfectionists.

Scientists call it hyper-vigilance
whereas people tend to

call it being neurotic.

- Can we not play the eyebrow game today?

- I'm sorry.

- I mean I suck at it, I really do.

- Okay, okay-

- Okay-

- It's my teeth.

- Hmm.

- I whitened them too much.

Ugh!

You see?

They're whiter than the whites of my eyes.

It makes my skin yellow.

Classic.

- I don't want to play--

- Classic teeth whitening mistake.

- I'm bad at the teeth game too.

- Sorry.

Sorry.

- Oh, I gotta get the fuck out of here.

I'm late.

No!

Stop!

Don't touch that!

Back off!

Get away.

You wanna pop it.

- Can I just say one thing?

- No.

- That is a clogged hair follicle

and I can deal with that in two seconds.

- No, I don't want you to deal with it.

- It'll be gone just like that.

- No, don't touch it, leave it alone.

- Grooming causes the female brain

to release endorphins,
another feel-good chemical.

This is nature's way of
motivating us to stay hygienic

and prevent infection.

Monkeys do it.

Lions do it.

Girlfriends do it.

- It hurts like a bitch.

- You never let me do anything!

And you don't use the scrub I gave you

and also let us not forget
the extremely generous

Christmas present I gave you.

It was the gift voucher for
the Brazilian straightening.

Yes.

~ Ah!

- You're welcome.

' Right!

The gift voucher for the
Brazilian straightening.

For my hair.

Right, yeah, no, you're right.

I didn't use that actually
'cause I, I like my hair.

It looks, it looks cool,
it looks disheveled and

it makes me feel dangerous.

Like unpredictable.

Who, who is that guy?

Like, What's, what's his story?

You know?

- No.

- What's he up to?

I don't trust him.

I like it.

I feel like I look like Bo
Duke from The Dukes Of Hazzard.

- I don't even know who that is.

- You don't know The Dukes Of Hazzard?

You don't get The Dukes
Of Hazzard in the UK?

- No.

- Well, maybe it was my American accent.

You, you don't know The Dukes Of Hazzard?

You've never heard of
The Dukes Of Hazzard?

The Duke boys?

They get in the car and they jump!

And they jump around.

They, they jump, they get in their little.

Oh, oh!

Looks like the Duke
boys are up to no good!

You've never seen that?

- That's not how British people talk.

- You say Dukes Of Hazzard.

- Dukes Of Hazzard.

I don't want to get my hair straightened.

One, 'cause I like the way it looks

and I'm a guy, I have a girlfriend.

It doesn't even matter.

Who cares?

- Yeah.

Well, my dad does because
it's his 60th birthday

this weekend and I think he
would appreciate a sleek do.

- Yeah?

- Yes.

- If your dad cares about
the way my hair looks

I will give him a million,
I'll give him a blow job.

I will get a rocket and go shoot him and I

into space, and I will give
him 10 blowjobs in space.

If your dad gives a fuck about my hair.

' Hey, Zoe?

- And here is Zoe and Greg.

They've been together
a year, married a year.

' Babe.

- Just because you scored
33 points doesn't mean

I'm getting back in that bed with you.

- You know it's really
not that impressive.

I put a ball in a hoop.

I play a sport invented for children.

- Hey, I have to go to work.

And you have to ice your balls
or whatever you do all day.

- Yeah, why do you work again?

I'm a professional athlete.

Technically I could support both of us

and like 20 other people.

- Well, because this
isn't the 1800s, okay?

I contribute to society.

I'm my own person with your last name.

Which you, what are you?

Just give that to me.

- Are you okay?

You're doing that thing where
you give me your stuff to do

and don't actually let me do it.

- I'm sorry.

It's just work.

- When humans are
under stress, the brain

releases cortisol, a chemical involved

in the response flight

But female brains can reduce
the secretion of cortisol

by organizing things and getting obsessed

with details which allow
her to feel in control.

Now, a couple thousand years
ago this behavior was useful,

but today it probably just seems
like we're solving problems

that don't exist.

- Why don't you quit already?

You could retire, be a basketball wife.

- On.

- You could start a jewelry line.

Be on VHF.

- Oh, yeah, or I could not
set women back 6 years

and could work hard
for another year or so.

Start my own company and like.

Maybe I could even give you a job.

'Cause like how much longer
can you do this, you know.

- Will you please just let me write you

a check for that?

- I'm not taking your money.

You know that, okay?

I'm not going to be a stereotype.

- No one thinks you're a gold digger.

Gold diggers don't wake up at 6 a.m.

or carry briefcases.

- I love you.

- I love you too.

Oh, hey, Dave!

Come on in!

- Don't get up, man!

I need you to rest!

- I'm sorry.

I thought I was, I thought
I was unlocking the door.

- I've got 50 bucks on
you scoring 20 points tonight!

My man.

- You, you bet on me?

- Oh, absolutely.

You think I can pay my
bills with this shitty job?

- Window, windows look good, man, you.

So clean!

Birds hit 'em all the time.

They think it, they think it's just air.

That's how good you are.

He can't hear me.

That's stupid.

- Julia, did you
know we've been going

since 7 a.m. and it's now 3 p.m.?

- No, no.

- Do you need a coffee or something?

- No, thanks.

Okay, so in this test the females

were much better at identifying fear

and sadness on people's
faces, like, much more.

- Yes, and males were
better at identifying anger.

We know that.

Got it.

Noted .

Smoothie?

- This disparity is crazy.

- Berry Blast?

- You know, I think we should
administer the test again.

Next week.

Just to make sure that this is all right.

'Cause something's wrong.

I'll schedule it now.

- No, please.

Please, can we take a break?

Please?

I can't understand how you're not hungry

because I'm, I physically can't see.

What do you mean?

I've already had breakfast and lunch.

That weird gray drink is food?

- Oh, yeah, that's Soy lent.

It's, um, it's basically a
complete meal replacement.

That way I don't have to
go to the grocery store

and buy food and put it
in a bag and unwrap it

and chew it.

I mean, who has time for that?

- Everyone has time for that.

That can't be healthy.

huh?

- Hm, what?

- It's got every vitamin
and mineral you need.

- Okay-

How about we take a walk?

Get a little vitamin D, you know?

Julia, not all of us are robots!

- Hey, don't manipulate me with children.

- You're a girl, you
should be better at identifying

sadness on people's faces,
according to your study.

- Fine, 15 minutes.

- Yeah!

I heard Fine, that's what I heard!

Come on!

You're no fun.

Just tell me.

So what's your deal anyway?

Are you dating someone?

- Abby, that's not work talk.

- Okay, in one of your
studies you concluded

that females are more
productive when they bond

because it reduces cortisol.

- I don't date.

I refuse to be a puppet
of my petrochemicals.

- So you've never been in love?

- You know, our brains
are designed to trick us

into that kind of thing
and I'm not falling for it.

- So, do you.

- Of course.

Were you gonna say masturbate?

- No, I was gonna say get
sad, but maybe for you

those go hand in hand.

- Yeah, I get everything I need.

I get Oxycontin from my dog.

I get serotonin from
hanging out with my friends.

I get endorphins from the gym.

Productivity and cooperation
makes dopamine and I get

that from work, so I
have everything I need.

I am a complete emotional equilibrium.

- Whoa!

That's like a total life hack.

- Mm-hm.

Knowing your brain's primordial neurology

is very liberating.

It, it makes life so much easier.

I don't have to sit around and worry about

if a guy likes me and
wonder what his motives are

and, and get all insecure.

And, and, like, reread a text 50 times.

- It's the worst.

- It's insane.

- Yeah.

- So, I know how the brain works.

So this whole being a girl thing.

I beat it.

Okay, good talk.

You know the sun causes cancer.

- It's not normal.

- All right, people.

So, the campaign is unlimited data.

And we all know that nobody
likes unlimited data more

than the ladies.

- That is correct.

- Sorry.

Why, why are we saying The ladies?

- Zoe, come on, every girl I know texts me

like 10 times more than I text her.

It's like, and it's not, and it's not just

like, girls I'm dating, it's like my mom.

- Does, does it, does it
have to be gender specific?

- Yeah, that's what the client asked for.

Like, they said focus on women.

- Great, cool, okay, yeah.

- All right, I'll pitch first.

Get ready to write this down.

It's gonna be hot.

How about, girl looking down at her phone

texting and it says, um For every text

he sends you send him 40 in return?

- Unlimited data.

- That's good.

- Good, right?

All right, good.

Write it down.

- Don't worry, be text.

- That's hilarious.

I didn't say write it down.

- What if, um, what if we did some.

What if tried to focus more on connection?

- Mmm.

- Well, you know, because with this plan

you can talk longer.

You can Face Time longer.

You, you can send more pictures.

- Um.

It's not write-it-down
level, but like, uh,

I know you've got more.

- Yeah.

- In prehistoric
times, females were

much more vulnerable.

And the ones with strong
social connections

had a higher survival rate.

Whereas, for males, survival
depended on aggression

and competition.

This could explain why
in meetings women tend to

avoid conflict and seek consensus.

- Uh no.

- Are you sure?

- No, I think.

I think I was just, uh.

I took it.

I was going in a different direction.

I wasn't ready.

I think.

I wasn't ready.

- You know, nothing
works in this house.

- Why are you even on
Facebook in the first place?

What if there are perverts on here?

- They could make
a house out of garbage.

- Mom, 4% of men are sociopaths
so I'm sure there are

some perverts on there,
but it's not exclusively

for perverts.

Why are we talking about perverts?

Can you please just delete those photos?

- Okay, but I don't know
which ones to delete.

You've got a ton of photos on here.

This is a jackpot for perverts.

- Okay, Mom, will you
please just delete the album

that says Wedding?

- What about the honeymoon album?

You wanna keep that one.

- Mom, any photos of Eric.

Any photos with his face in them.

Please just delete it.

- He was so nice.

And what a handsome couple you were.

I just don't understand what happened.

- What happened was he left me.

It's very simple.

- Bill, why aren't you
using a stud finder?

Why isn't he using a stud finder?

- Because Eric took the stud finder.

- Bill, you are ruining her drywall.

Bill, it looks ridiculous like that.

- Ridiculous?

That looks ridiculous, huh?

I'll tell you.

How about I take it and I
throw it through that window

out onto the front lawn?

Is that less ridiculous?

- Great, now she's
doing the singing thing.

You know she doesn't like us to argue.

- No, no, it's fine.

Children who were exposed
to maternal stress

in uteri become addicted to
stress chemicals in the womb.

Later in life, these offspring grow up

to be more anxious and easily adrenaline.

The scientific term for this
is geneticist imprinting.

But it's commonly referred to
as turning into your mother.

If I have learned anything in this life

it's that I can't stop
you two from fighting.

So you can just continue
on and I will soothe

my sympathetic nervous system

with my Leila Song.

♪ La la la-la la ♪

Huh? see?

You see, Bill, what you did?

See?

See, Bill.

Say something.

- I love you, Okay?

- He was such a nice boy.

- No he wasn't, Mom!

- Hello.

- Baker brings it up court.

He's looking for an outlet.

He's yo-young up and down mid-court.

Bounced past the room, back to Baker.

He takes it to the.

Uh!

He went down hard!

Oh, this does not look good.

He is not getting up.

You can see the look of
concern on Coach Miles' face.

Major setback for the team.

- It's only three months.

Mona will help you get up the stairs.

It's.

- Oh, thanks, Mona.

You hungry?

You want some breakfast?

No?

A bagel?

We got a comical amount of bagels. Okay.

Why doesn't she talk to me?

- I don't think she knows you.

- Do you ever feel weird
having all these people

in our house?

- Yeah, but we both work so
who's gonna do all this stuff?

- That's true.

We need a wife.

- Oh!

I agree.

- Who is this guy?

- That's Jimmy, he
usually comes on Mondays.

You're at practice.

- The area that's
responsible for defending your

turf is larger in the
male brain and it contains

special circuits to detect
territorial challenges

by other males.

When challenged, males
produce more testosterone

and adrenaline, which immediately
makes men more confident.

' O“, hey, man.

What's up?

Huh? Hey, Greg.

I'm Jimmy.

- Hey, yup.

- I deliver your groceries, um.

- Okay-

Ah.

- I'm a huger, yeah.

I'm Canadian.

- Somebody delivers our groceries?

- Honey, you eat like four chickens a day.

- Oh, Zoe.

I just picked some fresh
tomatoes for you from my garden.

They're super ripe, so be careful.

- Oh, Jimmy.

You're my hero.

- Okay, I don't need all
these people in my house

doing what I'm perfectly
capable of doing myself.

- Well, since you're gonna be around here

the next couple of months
why don't you oversee

the redo of the bathroom?

- Or how about I redo the bathroom myself

so there's not all these
strange men in my house?

- You're gonna build a bathroom?

- Yeah, just give me the
tiles and the other items

I will need.

- Building a bathroom takes skill.

You know, you have to like, measure tiles.

- Zoe, I'm a physical marvel.

My hand-eye coordination
is in the .01 percentile.

- Okay-

- Try me.

Throw something at me.

Anything.

Uh!

Okay, so I wasn't ready for
that because no one's ever

thrown jelly, right--

- So I beat a physical marvel?

This is great.

Well now I can start my day.

- Oh, good.

- This is good.

'Cause I have that meeting with that

venture capitalist at 10, remember?

All right, bye, I love you.

- All right, yeah, I just
gotta crab-up over here.

I've got a bathroom to refurbish.

- Can I tell you something?

- Yeah, sure.

- With all due respect?

And I mean.

I couldn't help, but hear.

' Yeah?

- I think you're a physical marvel.

- Dude, thank you!

- You're welcome.

- I was trying', I try,
sometimes she doesn't.

I don't think she respects what I do.

- She doesn't get you.

- No, she was, she didn't play.

She didn't appreciate sports.

She was a athlete.

- I, I would like to say
that maybe she doesn't

appreciate you.

- Yeah.

What.

Ah, you see!

And she throws jelly.

Jelly's not really something you catch.

Jelly's something you eat.

Of course I'm ready.

- Yeah, here we go.

Those were two peppers in a bag!

- That was like catching nun chucks.

- Okay-

There we go.

Ooh, shit, still got it.

So this is what it's come too, huh?

For us to hang, I've gotta come meet you

at a children's playground at a school?

This can't be legal, man.

- Look, I've got a family.

If you wanna hang out with
me, you've got three options.

Work, school, or on the side of my house

by the garbage cans.

- Can I ask you a question?

- Yeah, sure.

- What do you think about my hair?

- Uh, I think less than
nothin' about your hair.

- Lexi wants me to straighten it.

- Mm.

- Yeah, I mean, that's
an obvious no, right?

- If my wife wanted
me to straighten my hair

I would do it without question.

I'd just go through the
rest of my life looking like

Katy Williams.

Pippin'.

- I don't know, man.

I feel like I gotta draw the
line somewhere, you know?

This is a slippery slope.

- That's not how this works.

She will never stop bringing it up.

See, look, women, they can't
beat us physically, right?

' Right.

- So, the way to
control us is by beating'

us emotionally.

Wearing down our self-esteem.

Like little kidney shots to the soul.

You ain't even doing this right.

- What do you mean?

' Ah!

- Well, look, I, I'm fine with my hair.

I don't think about my hair.

I don't care.

I'm a 1ST-

She wants me to straighten my hair?

Who does that?

- You're spitting' in the wind, man.

My wife buys my clothes in
bulk, tells me where to be,

and what to pick-up.

I'm basically a driver for Post mates.

- But do you like it?

- Do I like it?

I don't even know what that means anymore.

It's like asking a zombie if
he likes the taste of brains.

It's irrelevant.

- It sounds like, you're
like becoming a zombie.

You wanna go one more round?

- Yeah.

- Hi, Abigail.

- Oh, I could not.

I could not sleep last night.

I was so tired, I took an
Ambien which made me groggy

so this is espresso.

But, like, I'm still feeling groggy

then I'll just like take an Adderall.

- No, wait.

Okay, I'm sorry-

Where do you get all these pills?

- Oh, my brother gave me the Ambien

and my gyro gave me the Adderall.

- No, no, okay, so,
first of all your gyro’s

only jurisdiction are your nether regions.

So, fire her.

And second, you shouldn't
take your brother's Ambien

because Ambien metabolizes
differently in men

and women so you can't
just take the same dose.

- That explains a lot.

- When a female
over medicates her brain

her petrochemicals become
imbalanced resulting in fatigue

and suppression of healthy emotion.

Because medications affect
hormone levels they can also

lead us to smell pheromones
differently which can even

cause us to select the wrong mates.

- It really does.

- Damn it.

- What?

- I've done the spatial
awareness test four times

and women are still
scoring 20% less than men

on spatial tests.

- Okay, but the subjects
weren't primed and you took

the time limit off.

- There's gotta be another bias.

I don't know.

- What about time of day?

Right?

Because I cannot memorize
shapes at 8:00 a.m.

It's criminal.

- That's interesting.

Okay.

Um, blood sugar.

Subjects probably have lower blood sugar

in the morning so we should administer

the test again in the afternoon.

Smart!

- Cool, cool, cool.

But, um, it just sounds like
you don't like the results

You're getting.

- Of course I don't.

The last thing people
need is more ammunition

for negative female stereotypes.

They'll be like, Oh, Dr
Benzedrine found that women

are worse at spatial tasks,
which is why women can't

drive or read maps.

And why they shouldn't be
CEOs or be in government.

And I don't want to be
responsible for that.

Okay, so we'll.

We'll administer the test again next week.

Oh, one more thing!

Can you stop drinking all that coffee?

It's just made of actual acid.

- I take Antacid.

It's like not that big of a deal.

- Good morning.

- So, a female can instantly decode

the information encrypted
in a male's pheromones

which helps her determine
genetic compatibility.

This, coupled with
cultural values and how her

childhood went determines what attracts us

to a potential mate.

The confluence of all this is what we

call chemistry or love at first sight.

Hello.

We're good, oh, oh, okay!

Thank you, morning.

Uh, I'm, I'm Dr Benzedrine.

I'll be administering
the test on you today.

- I'm Kevin.

I'm gonna be taking the test today.

- Although men have earned the reputation

for being more stoic
than women, they actually

have stronger emotional
reactions than females.

But due to social conditioning
within 2.5 seconds

a man tends to change his face
to hide or suppress emotion.

You're just gonna be in the module

for the couple of, a
couple of the, the minutes.

All the minutes.

- You coin' in?

- No.

- I'm kidding.

- Oh, I.

Me too.

I know.

- I mean, if I wasn't
and you did wanna come in

then, you know, I'd really appreciate it.

Mostly 'cause I can't move my neck.

So you'd have to do all the work.

- So, uh, you're gonna
be seeing various images.

And then the MRI machine
is gonna do the rest.

So, uh, just look at them.

And I'll be over there if
you have any questions.

You won't have any.

I mean, I don't know why--

- Miss you already.

- What?

Kevin Avery, 006.

Green light, thank you.

- Okay, that guy was flirting with you.

And he is so cute.

- He's a guy.

He can't help it.

He has to, you know, sexuality everything.

You know, to him I'm
basically a blow-up doll.

- Oh, my God!

That is what you look like!

Oh, my God!

It's taken me months!

Thank you.

Oh, my God.

He seems sweet.

- Uh.

You're not gonna be
saying that once you see

inside his brain.

- Awe.

Mushy.

- So if he felt empathy this
entire area would light up red.

Right there.

Look, nothing.

- But it's a kitten.

- I know, he's not feeling' the kitten.

- But it's in a teacup.

- He doesn't care.

- Nope, HOPE!

It is lighting up!

- Nope, that's--

- Yeah, he's not a serial killer.

- That's on the low end, even for a guy.

Next slide.

- Nothing on the baby?

What a sicko!

- Yeah, so in women, this
entire area would light up red.

- I can feel mine lighting up inside.

What kind of weirdo doesn't
think that baby is cute?

- All of them.

Men are basically only wired
to respond if it's their baby.

- Seriously?

- Mm-hm.

Now do you see why I refuse
to participate in society?

- Wow.

I'd really be depressed if I
wasn't on anti-depressants.

- You're on anti-depressants?

- Everyone's on anti-depressants.

- Are you clinically depressed?

Huh? No!

What?

- I can't.

- It's good.

It makes me less crazy.

- That's interesting
because you sound insane.

- Okay, there's no
winning with you, Julia.

- All right.

Here we go.

Ha-ha!

Kevin here is on the lowest
end of the empathy scale.

That guy you thought
was so cute and so sweet

turns out, he's the kind
of guy that goes to Africa

and pays people to cut
off elephant's faces.

Science doesn't lie, so.

' Hey, babe.

- What?

- Um nothin'.

I was, um, just asking how are you?

- You haven't asked me that in five years.

I remember 'cause that was around the time

I started taking fatherhood seriously.

- I know.

That's so not cool.

That makes me wonder do you think maybe

we just, like, stopped
trying' a little bit?

- What do you mean?

- Well.

- Well what?

- You're wearing crocus with socks.

- So are you.

- These are flats.

- Mm, ts!

I got some bad news for you, baby.

- I mean, I feel like maybe
we just stopped trying'.

Maybe we need to connect a little bit.

I stage houses for my job.

I make all things look new and shiny.

Maybe that's what we
need in our relationship.

- Sounds expensive.

- Yeah, yeah, maybe a little
bit, but do you remember

how we used to dress up?

How we used to go out on sexy dates?

- So it's probably not surprising

that females have a more active system

for emotional memory which means we recall

feelings, not just facts.

Something that's harder for a man to do.

This is why it seems like women can access

visceral memories with
search engine like speed.

We used to have sex all over the house.

- Baby, that was before
our walls had all kinds of

finger paintings on 'em.

Kind of killed the fuck vibe.

- Yeah, but we used to do things together.

Have things in common.

We used to have hobbies together.

- Baby, that was back
when we were friends.

Look, we still got plenty
of hobbies, all right?

We pay bills together.

Insurance.

We got water damage in
the basement together.

That's our water damage.

We've got meat, celery--

- Can you be serious
for once in your life?

- I'm just satin' what's
the point of ban' married?

- Relationships take work.

- I already work.

You want me to work two jobs?

- Yes, I've heard of couples
that become platonic.

Like, their relationships,
their marriages deteriorate.

- Deteriorate.

Okay, deteriorate.

And then all of a sudden you're
gonna have a secret family.

- Look, if I'm not working
two jobs why in the hell

would I be working three?

- Hm,

- Fine.

I'll go change my socks.

I'm coming back for my meat.

- Monarchic!

- Jesus!

Where did you come from?

- Just got in from Tokyo.

- Oh, no, I'm sorry,
I, I I just didn't hear

you walk, roll in.

I'm so, I'm Zoe Baker.

- Thank you, I'm so sorry
that I'm running late.

It's just been crazy, crazy, crazy!

Where are my manners?

Have a seat.

Pop a bean, right over here.

We just started main' these guys.

Stuffed the first batch myself, actually.

This is the charcoal.

And we've got a slate gray in the works.

And there it is!

Well done.

- Oh, okay, that's great.

Uh, congratulations on
all of your success.

- Uh, maybe.

Greed is a disease.

You know?

So you're the girl with
the coconut water thing.

- No, no, um, my idea is about marketing.

Actually, you know what?

I'll just go right into it.

Um, all right, you know
how commercials are

everywhere, right?

But they're, they're usually really bad.

And they send irresponsible
messages about race and gender.

- Kind of.

- Well, so, I would have
a company that would make

responsible commercials that
won't screw up our kids.

- Uh, I'm trying so hard to understand

what you're saying I'm just having a lot

of trouble attuning to you.

You have a very it's like a masculine

um, just, just prohibitive energy.

- Uh, sorry-

- Please, no, it's
nothing you can control.

- Um, you know what, I, I, I, I, I,

I wrote out some sample campaigns last.

- Sorry, I'm so sorry.

The thing is, I just, I had just realized

that your idea, it's, it's triggering me.

You know, I just, remember
I was in such a good mood

before we talked about it?

And now, I just, I feel drained.

- Oh, well, uh, maybe you're
just jet lagged from Tokyo.

- Oh, no.

I don't believe in jet lag.

It's a social construct.

Did anyone ever.

- What?

- Listen, 100% keep in touch
if you have any more ideas

that are just a little more casual.

And it was so nice to meet you.

- What?

Thank you.

Bye!

- So I was thinking
about this spatial task thing.

Do you think we could get rid of the bias

if we let people take it over again

if they want to?

Feeling like you only
have one shot at something

is a lot of pressure.

- That's actually a good idea.

- Or the room being too cold.

Because it's freezing in
there and I can't think

when I'm cold.

- Uh, who is calling?

Who calls anyone?

All right, this is Julia.

- Hey, it's Kevin
from the MRI machine.

- When an unexpected
event occurs, the amygdala

immediately evaluates
if a threat is present.

If so, the brain freezes
to brace for a fight

or flight response.

But in a traumatized
brain, the amygdala loses

the ability to distinguish
between everyday events

and real danger.

So, if a woman's brain has
been emotionally traumatized

it often may seem like
she's being dramatic.

- I'm calling you.

- How did you get this number?

- Hey!

- Stop asking questions.

Just let me be a cutie pie.

- I only answered because I thought

someone was in the hospital, so.

- Well, I'm sorry to disappoint.

Look, there's no way
that's cool to say this

so, let me see you tomorrow night.

- I have to work.

- But it's a Saturday.

- I'm a stripper.

- Oh, well, then I'll see you anyway.

- You know what, I.

I obviously can't date
someone in my study.

I'm a scientist, and you're a, a--

- Tired of hearing your boring excuses?

Look, text me your address.

I'll pick you up at 7:00.

I'm hanging' up now.

I love you.

- Can I borrow your
purse just for a second?

Please?

- Sure.

- Thank you.

I cannot believe you
gave him my phone number.

Huh? No!

He asked!

What the F?

What was I supposed to do?

That's my birth control!

Your generation is a nightmare.

You know what, I'd fire
you, but there really

is no point because everyone your age

is just as boundary less as you are.

- Can you please help
me pick this stuff up?

- Of course not!

And you do not need all of these pills!

- Okay, that one is for my thyroid thing.

- You don't have a thyroid thing.

You're 10!

- You don't know what's going on in here.

- You saw his brain scans.

He is a caveman.

He is literally a Cr-Mag non.

- That's perfect for you.

You can have completely detached
sex with a big dumb animal.

Uh, as we both know,
sex releases endorphins.

- Here we go.

- Which reduces stress.

Which could help you at work!

Which is clearly all you care.

Oh, no.

- Why didn't you say
that in the first place?

- Okay, okay, you have no respect!

Julia!

- Where is my office?

- Mb lipstick!

- Humidity, you'll
find it's gonna become

difficult to wipe away
quickly, but you're gonna wanna

still keep it soft enough
to wipe off the surface

of whatever tile you--

- Yeah, I tried that, you
fucking self-assured dickhead!

It doesn't work!

Oh, oh, no, yeah.

I should grow a rat tail
like you to make tiles stick

to the buckskin' wall.

Oh, shit.

Shit!

- Hey, babe.

- Hey, babe!

How are ya?

Sorry, I didn't hear you come in.

I was just busy working'.

I'm a busy bee over here.

- Yeah.

I see that.

How's it gain'?

- Good, good, I was trying'
out some caulks today.

And these caulks are not
the caulks for us, so.

- Isn't it supposed to be grout?

- No.

No, it's not.

I think it's caulks.

- Is that a poster board?

- Yeah, just a quick little.

Little test run to make
sure the, the tiles

and the caulks, or grout
to you is, is stain' up.

- Honey, I, I've, I don't know how much

sense all of this makes.

Why don't you just let
me call a contractor?

- I got this.

- Oh, I know, I know.

But like, then you'd have more time for

physical therapy, you know and like, just,

the contractor's just there to--

- Okay, stop saying contractor.

What we need.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

What we need is for you to trust your

incredibly competent and strong husband.

- Yes, of course, right, yeah.

- Oh, I forgot, how was, uh, your pitch?

- Oh, uh, yeah.

- It was good?

- Yeah, yeah, uh, yeah, thank you.

Yeah, yeah, um, yeah.

- You said, you just said Yeah nine times.

- Uh, no, yeah, yeah,
yeah, there was so, so.

Well, I'm going to, I gotta go, okay.

- Good, good.

Just like the video.

Cool.

That's good.

- You look nice.

Whoa, slow down, long legs.

- Oh, well, I mean,
I'll just, I'll meet you

at the car.

- You're, uh, drive is, uh.

Don't do that.

- What?

What, I know, I can, I
can open my own door.

- Let me get the door.

- You don't have to do
stuff like that for me.

- Don't touch my car.

- Okay, this is ridiculous.

- Okay, look.

All right, cool, you go on the date.

I'll stay here, you come back.

Be back by 10:00.

Tell me how it went, have fun.

- Fine.

You can open the door.

- Milady.

Ah, jeez, it's stuck.

- What?

- Hold on, let's.

- What's happening?

- It's stuck.

Hold on, I got it.

I gotta, uh.

' What?

- Can, you
gotta pull while I push.

- Uh, am I, am I allowed
to touch your car?

- Yes, please.

- Can I touch the handle?

- Please, if you could.

- I can open the door?

- Yeah, this time.

- Okay, okay, what am I doing, okay!

- You're pulling, I'm pushing.

- Okay, that hit, all right.

- Close it quietly, there's a.

- What, how did I, it doesn't,

it also doesn't close.

- It does, you gotta pull it.

- Okay, it's stuck.

- Okay, jeez.

You got it, okay.

- okay-

- Hey!

I was just gonna call.

- Fuck you!

- Oh, my God.

- What's the matter?

I think it looks really nice.

' Adam?

Adam?

- Look at me.

- It's okay.

- How's it look?

You like this look?

- You know, I, initially
I got a bit of a shock.

- You're in shock?

- I'm kind of used to it now.

- I look like Janet from Three's Company.

I know, you don't know, you don't know,

you don't see that show,
you don't get it over there.

- Hey, Adam, you don't look like a woman.

- How's it feel to be dating a magician?

You wanna see a magic trick?

Fuck you.

- I'm sorry, okay?

- I told you, I told you
this was a terrible idea.

Why would you want me to look like this?

- You know what I think?

- Shave it?

- If they'd just taken a teeny-weeny

bit off the top make a huge difference.

And we can do that right now.

It would be totally fine.

- No, this is--

- Let's give it a little snip.

- No, no, no, no, no.

You're not cutting.

You're not straightening.

Nothing, okay?

nothing!

- Babe, I'm just trying' to help.

- Don't try to help.

Okay, 'cause when you try
and help, your boyfriend

comes home looking like
a fucking Astor Boy.

So don't try and help.

Lexi, I'm gonna tell
you what's gonna happen.

Are you listening?

I'm gonna go upstairs.

I'm gonna take a shower, I'm gonna wash

this fucking Brazilian
poison out of my hair.

And I'm gonna get my birth hair back.

The hair that God knew matched my face.

Fuck!

- Okay, this one tastes like wine.

Mm.

Okay.

This one tastes like wine too, can we go?

Huh? No!

We're stain'.

I don't wanna waste our Group on.

- Why can't we just go
drink vodka in the garage,

like normal people?

- 'Cause this is sexy,
we're doing sexy fun things

so that we're not like
an old married couple.

- So me driving us home
drunk is sexy to you?

- Can you take this seriously, please?

- Fine.

Oh, you're never gonna guess
what this one tastes like.

- Like what?

- Old-ass grapes.

I'm just kidding.

It tastes like piss.

- Okay, we're really, we're really going

to a silent movie?

For real?

' Shh!

What flavor diabetes you want?

- I don't, I'm good, thank you.

- She'll have eight hot dogs, no bun.

A pack of Red Vines.

And, uh, Fruity Things, please?

No hot dogs.
- No hot dogs.

- I'm teasing.
No, please.

- You know, I can't wait to
do this with my own kids?

I want 11 kids.

- I'm, I'm, that doesn't work on me.

- Oh, that's right, you're
not a girl, I forgot.

- Uh, so, uh, question?

Why, why are you doing my study?

I mean, it's obviously not for the money.

- You better believe it's for the money.

I, I'm, I'm paying for
this with cold hard cash.

- Okay, oh!

- I'm sorry.

That was disrespectful.

- Seriously, why are you even in my study?

I don't know, like, if it
only pays like nothing?

- Oh, my uncle, he was the
head of the social science

department in my college
and he said, you know,

Regular people, they
never take the studies so.

- That's true.

- When I have the free
time, uh, yeah, I sign up.

I know, I'm the best.

- Okay, I get it.

You're charming.

I get it.

- I'll see you in there.

- Oh, uh.

I'm sorry.

We're not, we're not together.

- Agnes, you're
the most beautiful woman

in the whole wide world.

- Would you stop it, please?

I'm not gonna say.

- Come on, just try it!

It's not a scientific project.

- You're silly.

I can't do an old time movie voice.

- Grow LIP!

Come on.

Be a person.

I love you.

- Why does yours have emphysema?

- Look at him!

Oh, man.

Let's run away together.

- Oh, but I'm wearing
40 pounds of bloomers.

I can hardly walk, much less run.

- Why is your voice deeper than mine?

- I don't know.

I don't know, I'm just,
that's how it was back then.

- Then we'll stay here and have offspring.

- Good luck raising them
since I'll die in childbirth.

- What did your MRI say?

- I found a slight
tear in the meniscus.

- But it feels good.

- Well, you wouldn't
necessarily feel it.

- So the healing
isn't ahead of schedule,

but it is on schedule?

- Correct.

You're on track.

- All right.

Thanks.

- Mm-hmm.

Sure.

' Zoe!

Where are you?

Hello?

' Oh, no, no!

- Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

- No, oh, God, no!

Greg!

- What are you doing?

- Don't look!

nothing!

Look, this not, you should not be here.

- No, this is, no!

- What are you doing?

- Get out!

- What are you even jerking off to?

- Excuse me.

Don't say that.

No, don't, don't look at that.

- Cheerleader?

A little on the nose, don't you think?

- That is the, like, the
first thing that comes up.

- That's not the first
thing that comes up.

I would know.

- Are you bragging?

- How often do you do this?

- That's, uh, that's
none of your business.

- It's literally all of my business.

But let's do this.

- Do, what?

What are you doing?

- What do you.

- What are you.

- Don't you.

- You were saying, Let's do.

You're talking, you're talking
to me like a sportsman?

- Don't you wanna have sex?

- Don't.

Oh, God, no!

' Why not?

You're all ready to go.

You've got your good dress on.

' MY dress?

This is a robe!

Do you think this is a dress?

- A dress is a robe with a little sash.

It's the same thing.

- No, it's not.

- So you just want to do this by yourself?

Huh? No!

But I'm not doing.

Greg!

Just get out!

' Okay?

No, I'll leave you alone
for your little spank fest.

- Don't say that!

' No, 100s, no!

Have fun.

- No, I'm not having fun.

I'm not, I'll never have fun again!

- You looked like you
were having a great time.

Spank away!

- You're coming in, right?

- Sure.

- Okay-

- were you robbed?

- Yeah, yeah, "9-

I, I just moved in.

I haven't had time to really unpack, so.

- Okay-

You want me to fix that wire?

I mean, it'd take me two minutes.

- No, it's fine, it's, it's fine.

Do you want a drink, or?

- Sure.

- Okay-

What do you drink?

What do you want?

- Uh, depends on what kind of
guy you want in your house.

I mean, whiskey if you
want me to break shit.

Or gin if you want me to
shadowbox and tell you

I'm invincible.

Or, uh, rum if you want
a pirate in your house.

Huh? uh, okay.

Let's see.

We.

Hm, ts, ts, ts.

This is not ideal.

Well, I do not have any of those things.

No alcohol, turns out, but I do have.

I've got, I've got something.

I've got, I've got a Sharpie.

I've got.

Oh, I, whiteout, oh!

Hand sanitizer?

I'm being weird.

I'm nervous.

I'm being nervous.

Um, you know, we could
just try to do this sober.

Huh? wow!

- Yeah, I know.

It's not, I haven't
unpacked my good bras yet.

This is not, I know.

This is, I have better bras than this.

- Did you find it on the street?

- No, it's like a half bathing suit.

You can wear it in the,
it's, uh, waterproof.

It doesn't matter.

Here.

- Uh.

This is a little fast, no?

- It is.

But I feel like your brain
is producing testosterone

so you're probably psyched
to make reckless decisions.

So.

- Yeah.

But, uh, I mean, I, I don't
even really, uh, know you

and, um, I mean, you could drug
me and, and steal my kidney

and sell it.

It's happening a lot in New Mexico.

And Old Mexico.

This is, uh.

The thing about, uh.

Uh.

Um.

I vote we don't um have sex.

Because when people have sex, it, uh.

It makes them crazy.

And I wanna see you again.

So, um.

I, uh.

Yeah.

That, um.

I, uh, sure.

Um.

Good job and don't let it fall.

I'm gonna take off and,
um, you should watch porn

to get the.

But your router, uh.

That's been shot in the face.

Uh, God bless.

- Mmm-hmm.

Mmm.

Ah, no, wait.

Wait.

Not on the comforter.

- It was on sale.

. 50?

I don't want to ruin it.

Move, get "P!

- And it's comforter.

- What time do you
think they close Target?

- She didn't even wanna have sex.

She was wearing her good dress
and she had headphones on.

Like, who listens to porn?

- Look, let me be honest with you.

You're like the hottest guy I know.

- Thanks, man.

- No, I mean it.

Honestly.

You're gorgeous.

Stunning.

- Really?

- Oh, yeah.

I mean, I've never jerked off to you, but.

I have jerked off as you.

And it is good to be king.

You know what I mean?

- I'm telling you, man.

Her vibe is off ever since I got hurt.

- Yeah, well.

You're not just Whistling
Dixie on that, my main emcee.

- No.

- The whole world's vibe is off.

No one knows what to be anymore!

Women want to be MMA fighters,
but they still want us to

hold the door open for 'em.

They want to make the
restaurant reservations,

but they want us to pay.

Bunch of goofballs.

All of them, right?

Pick a lane, you goof.

- Yeah.

- Say it.

- No.

- Let me tell you something'.

Hey?

HEY, hey you.

- Yeah?

- It's fucked.

- Yeah.

- I mean, I got injured a month ago

and we've had sex like five times.

I show the slightest
weakness and it's a turn-off.

- Yeah, that's no bluenose.

You gotta get your power back, hombre.

You know what I'm saying?

Show her you're the man.

That's all she wants.

With these gender roles they've
been at us for 20,000 years.

Get into that caveman stuff.

Pull her hair.

Choke her.

- Are you, you're choking Cheryl?

- Well no.

She just got a new neck, so
right now's not the best time.

But, uh, I'll tell you what.

I have.

And a good time was had by all.

- I can't choke my wife.

I'm 250 pounds.

- Some like 600 pounds.

My wife's ’10s and Chinese.

I wouldn't worry about that.

You've just gotta find
a way to be the alpha.

All right?

- Where do I draw the line though?

- Unfortunately for you,
imposable, there is no line.

Don't ask for permission,
ask for forgiveness.

You can use that if you want.

Be the caveman.

Me man, you woman.

- Let's not do that anymore.

- Okay-

Got a bit of a problem.

" What's that?

- My trick knee's locked up.

Daddy doesn't have the key.

I Qt you.

- Okay, I'm just gonna slide out.

All right.

- Hurry UP!

Time's running out!

- I'm gonna, I'm gonna go take a shower.

- Okay, I'll be here.

- Hi.

- Good morning.

Did you get in touch with Kevin?

Because he just called.

- Of course he did.

. 50?

- Okay, so, gossip
activates the brain region

involved in social cognition.

The process by which we learn
to interact with others.

So, gossiping is critical
for females to maintain

strong social bonds.

So our brains are hardwired
to produce dopamine

which rewards females
for relationship building

and learning the norms of society.

- How was the hot Neanderthal intercourse?

- Well, it was uneventful
because he refused to have

intercourse with me.

- No sex.

Hui, that's even kinkier than I thought.

- I, I can't help, but
be a little insulted

given his brain scans, but.

- Julia, that sucks, I'm sorry.

- No, it's okay.

I mean, I'm sure he's married.

Or, you know, playing some weird

twisted mind game on me.

Which means he lacks empathy
which means our studies

are accurate.

It's good!

It's great in fact.

Super great.

~ Ah!

- I got something from one
of the mail guys at work.

- Do I want to hear this?

- It's the drug Molly.

- Is that the one that make
you eat people's faces off?

- No, it's like the new ecstasy.

Why don't we take it
after Ty goes to sleep?

- I'm not sure.

Let me Google it, hold on, let me see.

How long is jail time with
drugs and kids in the house?

Uh!

It says it varies from state to state.

I'm In.

- Take it.

- Babe, that zit looks really bad.

- Yeah.

I know, I've gotta make an
appointment to see a doctor

'cause I, I, it feels
really deep or something.

- You know, a doctor is just gonna squeeze

the puss out which I could easily do.

- Haven't you futzed with my body enough?

- I just think it'll help.

- All right, fine.

- Yes, sorry!

Thank you, thank you so much.

I love you so much.

- Fix my eardrums while you're at it.

- Okay-

Okay.

- All right, let's do it, let's do it.

- Oh, it's.

- Ow, nails that long!

You're like a falcon, fuck.

- Just take a deep breath.

Huh?

' 0, my, 0, my God, oh,
my God, it's in my eye!

Oh, my God!

- Karma!

- Why did you let me do that!

- Barn, wait, come back, I
want, I want a picture of this.

No, no, no, no!

Don't wash it off yet!

Ow!

Shit!

Ow.

- Take it.

- Why is it, why is it brown?

- I don't know, take it.

- It don't smell like nothing.

Okay, you ready?

One, two, three.

- No, no, no.

- You know pills make me gag a little.

It's it's down.

- Oh, hey, hey-

- You like my handiwork?

- Oh, yeah!

Yeah, yeah, I do.

I'm very proud of you.

' Are you?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, well, I am the
man, and I can hammer

and destroy things, so.

- Oh, yeah?

Can you?

Oh, what's this?

- I don't know, what is this?

- On.

Huh? Hm?

- Hey?

Where am I going?

- Where are you going?

- Uh-oh!

Where am I going?

Uh-oh, I fell!

- Oh, here I come.

I'll save you.

- Oh, watch your knee!

- No, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good.

Don't worry about that.

Just worry about this.

- On!

Oh, no.

That's a big man, yeah.

- Yeah, you like when I'm
the man and you're the woman?

Hm?

You like.

You like that?

- Mm-hmm.

- Just, uh.

- What the fuck!

What?

What is, what, what's wrong with you?

- I'm being a man.

Just.

' Stop!

Oh, my God!

Jesus!

- Why can I pull your hair,
but not shove your face

in the toilet?

- Because one is playful!

And one is where our shit
goes, you fucking weirdo!

- Okay, it's a fine line.

- Between a toilet and not a toilet?

Is it?

- I was told to ask for
forgiveness, not permission, so.

- Excuse me?

What uh, what prison inmate told you that?

- Okay, can we just relax
and resume with the sex?

Huh? No!

No, we can't!

Because now I have to
take like seven showers!

- Okay-

I'm, I said I'm sorry.

- No, you didn't!

- Well, I'm sorry.

- Do you feel anything?

- I don't know.

You?

- I don't know.

Do you feel anything?

- I don't know.

You?

- I don't know.

- Should we turn some music on?

- There's no music on?

Well, why is my body doing this?

Huh?

Huh?

- What are you doing?

Are you guys on drugs?

- What?

- Don't do drugs.

Don't do 'em.

Don't.

- Hey, get focused.

So, deodorant for women.

Go.

- Girls, stop sweating us.

- That's not bad, but.

- Actually, what's cool
about this deodorant

is that it doesn't contain aluminum

which is what's carcinogenic, so.

- He's sleeping.
He's not really.

- Oh, my God, I had a nightmare

where someone was talking
about carcinogenics.

Oh, God, it was horrible.

You were there.

- All right.

- How about, Sweating him is the pits?

- Genius.

- Write that down.

- So, I know I
said women seek consensus,

but if the amygdala is
activated, her adrenaline

can give her enough confidence to override

the instinct to be cooperative.

- Because girls are always
sweating guys, right?

- I'm sorry.

Can, can we aspire to be
just a little less cliche?

- What?

- Is nobody else bothered by
how sexist these ideas are?

- We're not sexist!

The people who.

The people who buy stuff are sexist.

- Women!

'Cause women buy 80%
of products in America.

- All right, well, then women are sexist.

Sorry, you might want to
go down to Whole Foods

with a clipboard and get it sorted out.

- The saddest part about
all of this is that

I think that you believe
the garbage that you say.

Yeah.

No!

I realize this is my last day.

Yes, I get that.

- It's your last day.

No, no, let me say it.

Let me say it.

- It's your last day.
It's my last day.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I'm going to, I
will empty out my office

in just a minute, I just, I, honestly,

I would love to know if,
if you actually believe

people are that stupid.

- I believe it's your last day.

- It is an honor to quit
this terrible company.

You cumin'?

I'm just, that was so weird.

Please.

Strike that from all of this.

And I'm gonna continue storming out.

I just I have to collect everything now.

I know this is awkward, it may be awkward

for like another minute
or so, but I actually

feel better than I've ever felt here.

Believe it or not.

So, this is, feels awkward, but imagine if

I had to come back.

- Help her, help her.

- No, I'm good, please
don't touch my things!

I sot it!

- That's my charger.

- Yeah, okay, good, great!

Take your charger.

Wonderful.

Cool.

Um okay!

Here we go!

Not weird for me!

I'm leaving.

And you know what?

Ooh, I'm gonna take this
deodorant because I'm sweating

his pits!

Okay?

Cool!

- Tell your husband to get well, okay?

- Thank you!

I will!

- You know, underneath
this paint you've got some

really beautiful molding.

The bones of this place
are really stunning.

There's just a lot of superficial damage.

- So, what do I owe you?

Like, are you hourly, or what?

- Why are you pretending
this isn't a date?

- Well, um.

- Frankly, I'm pretty
overpriced and I've got a lot of

shitty reviews on Angie's List.

- Okay-

So, what, what do you charge?

- Well, I'm not finished,
but it's 90 grand now.

- What?

- No, I'm joking.

Uh, you know, you could
pay me in, uh, favors.

Whoa!

- What?

- What are you doing?

- What is the problem?

- Problem is, you know
maybe we should kiss first.

- Both the amygdala and hippo campus

are necessary for fear
extinction to occur.

But if both regions of
the brain are abnormal

due to trauma, that person may
recoil if something reminds

them of their past.

This is commonly seen as
overreacting or being annoying.

The problem with that is
that I would produce Oxycontin

which is just kind of a disaster, so.

- With all due respect, I
think you're over thinking it.

- Well, I don't understand.

Why, what, why won't you have sex with me?

- 'Cause I like you for some reason.

You know, when I sleep
with a girl too quickly,

I just, it just.

Don't you wanna aim a bit higher?

- No.

- Okay-

All right.

Well, when you wanna be
treated like a human being,

give me a call.

In the meantime, don't touch those wires.

That red one will fucking kill you.

- I've seen a lot, but I
gotta say this is the first

time I've seen someone pop a tumor.

- What?

What do you mean a tumor?

- We did a fast biopsy, and at this point

I wouldn't totally rule out some growth

underneath your cystic wall.

Possibly a basil cell.

- Yeah, but that's, uh.

That's like, that's like cancer, no?

- Possibly.

- Is it like cancer cancer?

- I'm not saying that.

- Do I have cancer?

- Possibly.

I have to acknowledge the
chance so you don't sue me.

But likely not.

Good thing you caught it though.

- Adam!

What is going on?

You can't just not text me back.

- Is this the popper?

- Yeah.

- Adam, what is happening?

- Um.

I-

You know the thing on my back?

- Yeah?

- The thing I was gonna
go see a specialist about,

but you couldn't wait 'cause
you just wanted to pop it,

so you popped it?

Yeah, that might be a, um, cancer tumor.

- My God.

I swear I was just--

- Just trying to help?

I know you may find this crazy,
but I actually like myself.

I like my crazy, curly hair!

I like my fingernails that are jagged

and, and I like that I bite them!

I like my dry skin that I
don't slough or exfoliate!

And most of all I like my approach to, uh.

What are they called?

Oh, tumors!

Would you just stop!

Please?

I just want you to go!

We're done!

- What are you doing?

- I, I, I just want to be me.

And I don't want you to
keep trying to change me

like you have.

I can't do it anymore.

- So you're breaking up
with me in a hospital?

- Yeah.

I'm breaking up with you in a hospital.

I'm sure that you could
think of better ways to do it

uh, to improve our break up.

Maybe in a park with a
pond and a couple of swans

swimming in the background.

Or a beach and a nice
sunset and a piney accolade.

I'm sure that you could
think of several ways

to improve our break up,
but it doesn't matter,

because we're done.

So would you please go?

There's somebody here to try and help me.

To actually help me.

So, please.

Please go.

- Okay-

- Oh, Jesus.

What, what are you taking now?

- Oh, I have a killer migraine.

It's from my birth control.

- Okay-

Well, why don't you go off it?

- Because then I would
have a baby and that would

probably lead to more migraines.

- Okay, well, how long have
you been on birth control?

- Ugh!

Since I was like 13 or something?

I'm so emotional without it.

Everything makes me cry.

- Okay, Abby, you cannot just manipulate

your personality with
chemicals for your entire life.

- Why?

That's exactly what you do.

- Steven!

- If you think I'm embarrassed
about this, I'm not.

- This didn't work, did it?

- I don't think Molly is
designed for people over 40.

- This whole thing.

I mean, we didn't have sex on Molly.

It didn't even occur to us.

Who doesn't have sex on ecstasy?

- It's occur.

And I think we're probably putting

too much stress on this.

- We have spent time together.

We haven't spent time together.

I've been nice to you.

I've been mean to you.

I give you space.

I don't give you space.

We have tried everything.

Nothing has worked.

- Well.

I mean, there's always couples therapy.

- We don't need it.

I don't have a problem with you.

I don't ever get mad at you.

I don't want.

I don't need you to change anything.

- I've already changed
everything about myself for you.

Everything.

- But there is one thing
that we haven't tried yet.

- I never thought I'd say
this, but for once in my life

I don't want to have a threesome.

I just don't want someone
else seeing how awkward

it is between us.

- No.

It's not that.

There's something else
that we haven't tried.

It's gonna sound weird, but.

What if we called it quits?

- Whoa!

- Don't you feel like this
has just run its course?

- I don't know.

I mean, I just always expected it

to be like this, you know?

You get married, it get
boring, you stick it out.

Everybody told me it'll
be like this, so I just.

Just expected it.

- We don't have to be a cliche.

Give me one reason, one
reason why we should

stay together.

- One reason?

The house!

Our cell phone plan.

I mean, we get three phones
for the price of one.

I mean, and to cancel
would be a nightmare.

I mean, they keep you on hold forever.

We should just stay together.

- I mean, yeah.

We're going to stay together
because of our phone bill

because we're too lazy to change it.

- So are you divorcing me?

- Oh, you wanna stay together?

- Hell no.

- There we go.

12 years is already a success.

I mean, most of the people don't even last

half of what we did.

What?

- What about Ty?

- Uh.

Maybe.

It's not.

It, it's maybe.

- Right, maybe, just a maybe.

- Like, possibly.

- That much maybe.

- That we're going to, uh, separate.

Separate.

- Yeah.

- Okay, cool.

Whatever.

- There's my baby girl!

- Mush, mush

- Look at you!

You look so.

- What?

- Are you okay?

Why haven't you been sleeping?

- Oh, ah, it's, um, allergies.

I've, uh, um.

But why are you so tall?

What's going on?

- On!

It's those magic sneakers.

You wear them for an hour,
you can burn 300 calories.

- No, you don't, mom.

I tried them, they lost a lawsuit.

Um, where is Dad?

The birthday boy.

- You know, I had to send
him back to change his suit.

He looked ridiculous.

You know your father.

I think he'd wear a tracksuit
all day if I let him.

Where's Adam?

- Uh.

O“, um, yeah, he's.

Uh.

Uh, we've, we, we're having a.

Just a little, a break at the moment.

Yeah, um.

But he.

Actually he got his own place
so, it might be a big break.

- Oh, what did you do?

- Why do you assume I did something?

- Okay-

What did he do?

- Well, I, I think I
just loved him too much

and he couldn't handle it.

- What happened?

- Well, uh, I was helping him and.

- What are you doing?

- Oh, no, I, I, I read this article

that you can work out your buttocks

if you do this for a minute, every time

you have a conversation.

Oh, hi, Sandy.

People are here.

Darling, don't you want to change?

- I am changed.

This is my outfit.

- Well, perhaps you should,
like, put up your hair

or something.

Darling, what happened to your eyebrows?

- Mom, stop it.

- No, really?

You're just hiding your face.

I mean, you're a pretty girl and you just

can't hide your face with those.

- Shh, please, just stop.

Just stop.

- I'm just trying to help.

- Uh, excuse me?

- Oh.

- What are you doing, man?

- Oh, the, uh, lady
hired me to fix this.

Uh, I'm sorry, man.

I'll be out of here in like a minute.

- Oh, I'm, well, she's
not authorized to do that.

I'm the man and I'm in
charge of what goes on

in this house, so.

- Okay, uh, good to know, but I've got

a work order, so.

- Well, I'm the lady's
husband and it's canceled, so.

- Okay, well, I'm the contractor,
so I'm gonna finish it.

And just to let you know
whoever did this before

idiot, a dumb person.

Only a dumb person puts
caulking on a wall.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- A stupid person that's an idiot, so.

- I will smash your face with that hammer.

- Just, uh.

- Just maybe.

- You touch me with that
hammer, I'm gonna sue your ass.

- Oh, well, I'll see you in court.

I'll be the one with the most powerful

legal team in the country.

- Mm, you know that's the
only team that wants you.

Right?

- Oh, okay!

Yeah.

A guy who works with toilets.

Cool.

- What'd you just say?

- You work with toilets.

- Say it again that I--

- You work with toilets.

- You want to grapple now?

- Yeah, I wanna grapple!

- Let's go.

- Watch my knee.

You're the worst punk of all time.

- I will kick that knee.

And I will.

- Don't do that.

You let go of me.

- You let go of me.

You let go.

- On three, let go.

- One.

- Two.

Three.
- Three.

- Oh, you son of a bitch.

- I knew you wouldn't let go.

- Fight a guy with a--

- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey stop!

- Okay, are you okay?

- Yeah, she's fine.

What the fuck, Zoe?

How could you do that without asking me?

- It was, it was supposed
to be a surprise!

- Well, you should have
let me finish it myself!

- Well, he.

- Yeah.

- What do you mean, yeah?

- Here's the, here's the rest of it.

I'm sorry.

We're all good, I am
sorry for the confusion.

- We're good.

- All right.

' BYE-bye.

- Bye.

- Get a bigger shirt.

- Yeah, get a bigger body.

- It's a two XL.

' Stop!

- I'll listen to her.

Okay?

- Oh, that's clever.

A guy who spends 90% of
his time in the bathroom.

- Hey, stop!

What are you doing?

- What are you, what are you doing?

Why are you home? It's noon.

- Because I quit my job!

Huh? How?

- I'm coming here to
tell you how, right now!

But I have to walk in to this.

Here.

Look!

I quit my, I quit my job!

And I'm starting my company!

I'm.

I'm starting my company.

And I want you to be my investor, okay?

But first there's this contract.

Basically says that I have to.

Don't touch it.

Don't touch it, please!

- Okay-

- I have to pay you back
every cent within three years

or else or else you own the whole thing.

And I set myself on fire.

- You know you don't have to pay me back.

- No, I do, okay?

I do.

I'm putting my pride aside
and I'm asking for your help.

And that's really, really hard for me.

So, I need you to let me pay
you back which is really,

really hard for you.

- Okay, well, how much do you need?

- I'm not sure yet.

Actually, I already raised a
lot of money online by myself.

- With your clothes on or.

- You know, I was thinking, you know.

Now that we have this
time off maybe you could,

I don't know.

Get me pregnant?

- 0, really?

- Yeah, because in a
year, like, I might be

a business mogul.

Like, I might have a book deal.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna have surrogates

having kids for me.

- Oh, okay, well, yeah, I
can, I can get you pregnant.

- Oh, you're a professional athlete.

I have no doubt.

- Oh, I'm gonna get you pregnant so hard.

- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah.

Okay, no.

Not good for the knee.

My knee hurts.

- I'll get on top.

Because I do everything around here.

- Oh, that's better.

That's so much better.

Thank you.

- You, you're good?

Am I crushing you?

- No, no, no, you're good.

- That's my worst nightmare.

You know that.

- No, it's just the, the brace.

It's not, it's not, I can still do this.

- I feel like I'm gonna break you.

- You're not going to break me.

I'm 250--

- I'm not a plumber!

- What?

- I'm a carpenter.

Like Jesus.

Okay?

Someone who you'll never meet.

- What does that.

- Lindsay.

- Oh, hi, Lisa!

- Thank you for coming!

- I've never been to a
divorce party before.

This is super fun!

So what happened?

He cheated?

Who would cheat on you?

What a monster.

Is he 9?

- No, no, no, nothing like that.

- Oh, hey, you can tell me, okay?

- Oh, I'm telling you, we just realized

it run its course and we
wanted to have a party

because divorce doesn't
have to suck, you know.

- Right.

So it was an online affair?

- Yeah, sure.

- I knew it.

I'm really, really sorry.

Oh, speak of the devil.

- Mm.

Hey!

- Hey, baby-

Sorry, I'm late, but you took the car.

- Nobody believes me that
you didn't cheat on me.

I don't know how to take it, as an insult

to you or to me.

- What?

Haters.

That's all they are, is haters.

- What the hell are you wearing?

- This is my singles shirt.

- Yeah, I know, and I threw that thing out

like three years ago.

- But I take out the trash so
now it's back live in effect.

But you, my God, you
looking good in them heels.

Divorced a week and you're
already out hitting them streets.

- Yeah, but I haven't
worn high heels like in

10 years and they're killing me.

Maybe we should get back together?

- Sorry.

I've already got my own debit card.

And I'm about to ball.

- Well, why then, why
don't you go and ball

with Rebecca, right there, she's there.

- Why would I go talk to her?

- Please.

You've always had a crush on her.

- Oh, no, no, I haven't!

Why would you think that?

- Listen, we're not together anymore,

you can be honest with me.

- Okay, she is fine as hell.

- Go'

Go talk to her.

- Okay-

Now, now what do I do again?

- You just ask her
something about herself.

- Okay-

- And don't do that, that
thing you do with your.

Licking your teeth, or something weird.

- You liked that.

- No, I didn't.

- You did.

' Shh!

- Hey!

Rebecca.

What's up, baby?

Boy, you look slamming'.

People don't say slamming'
no more, do they?

Well, it was nice seeing you.

Oh, I, I just got a debit
card if you ever wanna

go out shopping.

I could buy you another flesh tone purse.

No?

I'm very bad at romance.

But I'm good at buckskin'.

- Hi.

- Uh, why are you being a penis?

- You know, I've, uh,
I've just been busy, so.

- You know, uh, that's
what I say to girls when

I don't want to date them.

- Okay, can we talk about this later?

- I say that too.

Um, Julia?

Why are you fucking this up?

- Okay-

So, what's happening is, you're pissed.

Totally get it.

You're having something
called dopamine withdrawal.

It's when you have a
lot of dopamine flood--

- You have no idea what I'm
having 'cause you don't know me.

- Uh, um.

The thing is I actually kind of do.

I saw.

I saw your brain scans.

And your behavior, it's almost
100% antithetical to them.

So what's probably
happening is that you need

a conquest for your testosterone
or your ego, or something.

It's basically like wanting
what you can't have.

It doesn't matter.

Uh, the point is that I'm fine.

You don't have to pretend
that you want something

real with me.

It's to--

- Oh, I'm not pretending.

- Oh, oh, oh.

If I may?

It's just that your neurology disagrees.

- How's that?

- So, you, you did not have
empathy for a, a kitten.

So.

- On.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, well I'm not a
cat person 'cause they,

uh they're dicks.

So that clears that up.

- All right.

Well.

Fine.

Let's just blame this one on me then, I.

I don't really do the
whole passion, love thing.

I'm just not that kind of girl, I guess.

- Oh, you're totally that kind of girl.

- Really?

- Yeah.

You're also a fucking liar.

' I'm sorry?

- Well, 'cause you were married.

So you're not a workaholic.

You're just heartbroken.

- Okay-

Okay.

Fine.

Even more proof that this is impossible.

So, thank you.

Thanks for coming.

Uh, bye.

- What about, uh, brain,
uh, plasticity, elasticity?

- Plasticity?

- Plasticity, right.

I read about it online.

It says you can change your brain, so.

What now?

- Um.

Can we just.

Just drop it.

- You know, for someone who
studies women you sure seem

to hate being one.

- Ah.

You need validation?

Or, I don't.

- No, maybe you should take
one of your own tests sometime.

- I don't need to.

I've rewired my brain.

- Cool.

Well done.

- Thank you.

- Lex.

Holy shit.

Are you okay?

- Hi.

- You look.

Why do you look different?

Are you wearing.

Are you wearing a wig?

- No.

This is what I look like.

No make-up.

No blow-drying.

No straightening and then re-curling.

No tanning.

No false lashes.

Just a couple.

I couldn't get them all off.

No nails.

Nothing.

- Um.

Were you evicted?

huh? N, um, I.

I just wanted to show you that I can stop

all of this stuff, you know and I can stop

trying to change you all the time, uh.

Adam, I know it feels terrible.

Um, my mother, you have
met, a very lovely lady.

But she criticized me
my entire life and, um.

Well, I guess that I,
I don't know, I guess.

I, I kind of caught it, um.

And, um, I honestly thought that when you

love someone that you were supposed to

try to improve them, this, the and change.

I don't know.

I thought you change them.

You change yourself.

- Why would you, why would you do that?

- Look, this, I look hideous right now,

- You do not look hideous.

- No, I am.

I've just looked at myself in the mirror.

And it's a shocker.

I know what I look like.

- If you didn't put all
that shit in your hair

and on your face.

- I know.

- I've never noticed you have freckles.

They look, they're so cute.

- It, it's, they're freckles
and it's sun damage as well, I.

Yeah, I did, I had
some, did a bit of laser

and then it, I didn't do the sunscreen

and they kind of came
back and I made it worse.

Um, anyway, I always thought that I had to

cover them up to be perfect for.

To be perfect for you.

- I hope that didn't come from me.

I never want you to feel that way.

- You didn't.

I don't know why I thought that.

- Look at you.

You look, you look like the Wendy's girl.

- Who's Wendy?

- The Wendy's girl with the pigtails.

Red hair and the freckles.

- Who's she?

- The fast food joint.

The burger joint.

- Is she fat?

No, I'm not calling you fat.

I'm saying you look
cute with your freckles.

You don't have Wendy's in the UK?

- No, we don't.

- You look incredible.

- Thank you.

- You do, I'm speaking
for every guy out there.

- Thank you.

So, here I am, and, um,
my freckles and my hair.

And I just wanted to
say that I'm so sorry.

And that if.

If you could forgive
me, then I would really

really, really like to.

I'd really like to try again with you.

- Okay-

I'm willing to give this
another shot on one condition.

I wanna know that you can handle.

- Yes.

- Being demoted to just my girlfriend.

Just my girlfriend.

You're not my stylist, okay?

You're not my nutritionist.

You're not my beautician.

- No.

- You're not my doctor.

You're my girlfriend.

Can you handle that?

- I accept my demotion.

- I don't.

I don't wanna have to
say this, but when you

when you try and change me, it does hurt.

It hurts my feelings.

- I'm so, so sorry.

- I'll be honest, if it
wasn't for your nitpicking

I probably would never have
gone to the doctor, so.

Don't let this go to your frizzy head,

but thank you for saving my life.

- You're welcome.

- There's no goop!

- So, it turns out I couldn't
hack my petrochemicals.

But I guess the real
question is why did I want to

so badly?

Maybe I didn't need to change my brain.

Maybe I just needed to change
my interpretation of it.

After yea rs of research
I found that the male

and female brain is
wired very differently.

Frankly, I was disappointed by the results

because they didn't feel
like social progress.

So, I kept looking for a bias.

I re-did the studies over and over again

and I did find a bias after all.

A very problematic and subjective bias.

And that bias was me.

I went into all this thinking that girls

being emotional, sensitive, hyper-vigilant

was a bad thing because
our society makes us

feel so ashamed of it.

I viewed these qualities as weaknesses.

But that was a flaw in my approach.

And in many ways, my life.

The truth is that these stereotypical

female qualities are actually strengths.

Nurturing.

Passionate.

Tenacious.

Supportive and resilient.

These don't seem that bad.

And even though the female
brain can, at times,

be complicated and
confusing nobody can deny

our ability to get back up.

Every day our brains tell us
there is a lot to be afraid of.

But even though we're
hardwired to avoid danger,

we're also wired for courage.

So, when it comes to fight or flight,

flight is always easier.

But every now and then
you come across something

that's worth fighting for.

Hi.

- Oh, hey-

It's Dr Strangely Hates Love.

- That was funny.

- Then laugh.

- I was about to.

I was literally just about to do that

if you'd let me finish.

These lights are really pretty.

- I don't think this is gonna work for me.

Uh, I read the papers you posted online.

It's bleak stuff.

- Okay-

That's fair.

Um, however, it's, it's.

You're not wrong.

It's, science is bleak.

And I'm sorry about that.

Hi.

Uh, but I, I looked at my
brain scans and it turns out

I'm a girl which is terribly inconvenient,

but I'm gonna work through it.

- You can honestly tell
me this would ever work?

- No.

What?

No.

I can't do that.

- Yeah, you need to watch more movies

'cause that's not what
the girl's supposed to say

to the guy when she's
trying to get him back.

It's just not the.

- Okay, well, I'm not gonna lie to you.

This is all a bunch of chemical reactions

that are eventually gonna,
you know, peter out.

- Here we go.

- You're gonna think
other girls are pretty.

And you're gonna stop
being attracted to me

at some point.

And I'm gonna get jealous and
I'm probably gonna act crazy.

And I'm gonna get super
paranoid and I'm gonna wanna,

like, go through your phone.

And I'm gonna act really insane
sometimes, but I am ready.

- You know, I'd never
intentionally do any of that.

- You're gonna break my heart,
but it will be worth it.

- Well, look on the bright side, you know,

maybe you'll get lucky
and break mine first.

- I hope so.

I really hope so.

Oh.

- You're not supposed to say that.

♪ What would you have me do ♪

♪ Where would you have me go ♪

♪ Tell me how to fly away ♪

♪ I'll spread my wings and go ♪

♪ Tell me to stay I'll lay back down ♪

♪ Drift away without a sound ♪

♪ I'll keep on baiting
your frame of view ♪

♪ Every day's a new shade of you eh ♪

♪ What would you have me do ♪

♪ Where would you have me go ♪

♪ What would you have me do ♪

♪ Where would you have me go ♪

♪ Where would you have me go ♪

♪ Where would you have me go ♪

♪ What would you have me do ♪

♪ Where would you have me go ♪

♪ When will you understand ♪

♪ It's not the same anymore ♪

♪ You buried me deep and dig me up ♪

♪ So we are diamonds in the rough ♪

♪ Oh we can't be saved
this time it's true ♪

♪ Doing my best to break
through to you, eh ♪

♪ What would you have me do ♪

♪ Where would you have me go ♪

♪ What would you have me do ♪

♪ Where would you have me go ♪

♪ Where would you have me go ♪

♪ I get so high I could touch the sky ♪

♪ I get so high I could kiss the sky ♪

♪ But you bring me back down low ♪

♪ You're always bringing me down ♪