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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,660 --> 00:00:12,664 2 00:00:22,109 --> 00:00:24,372 I'm good with numbers. 3 00:00:24,415 --> 00:00:26,156 Maybe I can help you -- 4 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:27,288 in the church. 5 00:00:27,331 --> 00:00:28,419 Bills and such. 6 00:00:28,463 --> 00:00:30,030 It's 90 days. 7 00:00:30,073 --> 00:00:31,205 What is? 8 00:00:31,248 --> 00:00:32,249 The wait. 9 00:00:32,293 --> 00:00:33,250 90? 10 00:00:33,294 --> 00:00:35,600 It's 90 days... 11 00:00:35,644 --> 00:00:38,603 'cause it -- 'cause it's l-limited. 12 00:00:38,647 --> 00:00:39,561 Pound me! 13 00:00:39,604 --> 00:00:41,084 What? 14 00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:44,566 The New Leaf switchback Mexico double-cross, James. 15 00:00:44,609 --> 00:00:46,481 16 00:00:46,524 --> 00:00:50,311 I'm picturing the ranger's face being like, "What? 17 00:00:50,354 --> 00:00:52,008 [ Both chuckle ]I'm so confused. 18 00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,488 I'm just gonna go back to Texas 19 00:00:53,531 --> 00:00:55,881 and open up a yogurt store." 20 00:00:55,925 --> 00:00:58,362 I know what you guys are doing, 21 00:00:58,406 --> 00:01:01,409 and I've been looking into your parents' private accounting. 22 00:01:01,452 --> 00:01:03,063 23 00:01:03,106 --> 00:01:04,673 Petitioning for passport? 24 00:01:04,716 --> 00:01:06,196 I am. 25 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:07,676 Purpose? 26 00:01:07,719 --> 00:01:11,114 Visit an old friend. From Young Offenders. 27 00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:12,550 Donny -- he's out. 28 00:01:12,594 --> 00:01:14,422 Oh, fuck. 29 00:01:14,465 --> 00:01:15,423 Where is he? 30 00:01:15,466 --> 00:01:16,641 Drawing nearer. 31 00:01:16,685 --> 00:01:18,252 Out trying to find money for a gun. 32 00:01:18,295 --> 00:01:22,212 33 00:01:22,256 --> 00:01:23,996 [ Revolver cocks ] Buenos días,ladies. 34 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:26,086 I told Glenn we're in a gang 35 00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:28,175 to help with the getting the money thing. 36 00:01:28,218 --> 00:01:30,002 All: Special boys. 37 00:01:30,046 --> 00:01:31,874 38 00:01:31,917 --> 00:01:34,355 My boy, Glenn. He's not at home. 39 00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:37,532 40 00:01:37,575 --> 00:01:39,360 My mom and dad said they could, uh... 41 00:01:39,403 --> 00:01:42,189 bolster us through the third quarter here 42 00:01:42,232 --> 00:01:44,756 Your parents accounts are Our Lady accounts. 43 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:46,410 I know it. That's -- 44 00:01:46,454 --> 00:01:47,890 That's why I'm here to get it -- 45 00:01:47,933 --> 00:01:50,414 I made the grave mistake of placing faith in him. 46 00:01:50,458 --> 00:01:54,157 My son had gone with some of our funds. 47 00:01:54,201 --> 00:01:56,420 What's your boy's name? 48 00:01:56,464 --> 00:01:57,987 Paul Allen Brown. 49 00:01:58,030 --> 00:02:03,906 50 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:07,649 New Leaf: Life can be brutal. 51 00:02:07,692 --> 00:02:10,173 You learn that in the rodeo barrel. 52 00:02:10,217 --> 00:02:17,615 53 00:02:17,659 --> 00:02:25,101 54 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,537 [ Wing flapping ] 55 00:02:26,581 --> 00:02:33,936 56 00:02:33,979 --> 00:02:36,068 Hey, bud. 57 00:02:36,112 --> 00:02:39,202 Bad place to be at the moment. 58 00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:41,073 There's a bull coming. 59 00:02:41,117 --> 00:02:42,727 Hear the rumbling? 60 00:02:42,771 --> 00:02:45,339 [ Hoofbeats in distance ] 61 00:02:45,382 --> 00:02:48,820 There you go, bud. 62 00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:50,909 You're a bright one.[ Hoofbeats grow louder ] 63 00:02:50,953 --> 00:02:52,389 You're brighter than me. 64 00:02:52,433 --> 00:02:54,086 Here we go. 65 00:02:54,130 --> 00:03:01,616 66 00:03:01,659 --> 00:03:09,145 67 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:12,627 You know, a man can learn a lot in the barrel. 68 00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:14,237 Some physics. 69 00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:16,979 Basic principles of contortion. 70 00:03:17,022 --> 00:03:21,897 71 00:03:21,940 --> 00:03:25,509 Then there's the heavy duty truth. 72 00:03:25,553 --> 00:03:26,945 Here it is. 73 00:03:26,989 --> 00:03:29,296 When someone has you over a barrel... 74 00:03:29,339 --> 00:03:32,429 when someone puts you up against the wall... 75 00:03:32,473 --> 00:03:37,173 [ Bull snorts ] 76 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,262 ...you gotta bring your power down. 77 00:03:39,306 --> 00:03:48,532 78 00:03:48,576 --> 00:03:57,802 79 00:03:57,846 --> 00:03:59,891 [ Bull snorts ] 80 00:03:59,935 --> 00:04:06,550 81 00:04:06,594 --> 00:04:08,204 [ Bull bellows ] 82 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:14,036 83 00:04:14,079 --> 00:04:16,952 Down into the dilemma. 84 00:04:16,995 --> 00:04:23,001 85 00:04:23,045 --> 00:04:25,090 [ Crowd cheering ] 86 00:04:25,134 --> 00:04:27,179 87 00:04:27,223 --> 00:04:29,356 See red. 88 00:04:29,399 --> 00:04:31,271 Then barrel into that motherfucker 89 00:04:31,314 --> 00:04:33,490 like a bull...[ Bull bellows ] 90 00:04:33,534 --> 00:04:35,187 ...with all of it. 91 00:04:35,231 --> 00:04:44,545 92 00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:46,242 Bull Face -- 93 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:47,896 That's the expression. 94 00:04:47,939 --> 00:04:49,289 I've seen it, 95 00:04:49,332 --> 00:04:52,379 of the exercise of all your power. 96 00:04:52,422 --> 00:04:54,772 Bull Face -- I've faced it. 97 00:04:54,816 --> 00:04:59,168 And if you see someone coming at you Bull Face, man... 98 00:04:59,211 --> 00:05:00,387 run. 99 00:05:00,430 --> 00:05:01,605 [ Bull bellows ] 100 00:05:01,649 --> 00:05:03,303 Bull Face. 101 00:05:03,346 --> 00:05:10,048 102 00:05:20,581 --> 00:05:22,409 Cab driver: How you doing? 103 00:05:22,452 --> 00:05:24,933 Fine.[ Door slides ] 104 00:05:24,976 --> 00:05:26,151 Where to? 105 00:05:26,195 --> 00:05:27,327 Train. 106 00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:29,459 Grand Central. 107 00:05:30,808 --> 00:05:34,116 Congratulations. 108 00:05:34,159 --> 00:05:36,597 Concerning? 109 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,250 You're in the Cash Cab! 110 00:05:38,294 --> 00:05:41,906 111 00:05:41,950 --> 00:05:45,910 One day you'll buy a ride on a comet 112 00:05:45,954 --> 00:05:49,305 And you'll ride into the sunset 113 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:52,439 Of a planet that's beyond it 114 00:05:52,482 --> 00:05:56,834 Beyond the wall 115 00:05:56,878 --> 00:05:58,793 Of all there is 116 00:05:58,836 --> 00:06:01,186 117 00:06:01,230 --> 00:06:04,886 And you will stash it in your pocket 118 00:06:04,929 --> 00:06:07,889 And you'll take it to Manhattan 119 00:06:07,932 --> 00:06:11,675 Where your grandma's 10, and you are 10 120 00:06:11,719 --> 00:06:15,200 You're not a family man, you're best 121 00:06:15,244 --> 00:06:17,202 Friends 122 00:06:17,246 --> 00:06:21,163 And you will hold it together 123 00:06:21,206 --> 00:06:24,253 Under the oldest running water 124 00:06:24,296 --> 00:06:27,343 Of the river of each other 125 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:32,217 With the power of the future 126 00:06:32,261 --> 00:06:34,916 127 00:06:34,959 --> 00:06:38,528 One day you'll ride into the dawning 128 00:06:38,572 --> 00:06:41,705 Of the morning of the dreaming 129 00:06:41,749 --> 00:06:45,100 And the sundown of the nearing 130 00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:49,060 The evening of 131 00:06:49,104 --> 00:06:52,063 Of the living 132 00:07:02,465 --> 00:07:04,249 The deputy's asking if you're conscious enough 133 00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:06,121 for your ankle business...Yeah, but... 134 00:07:06,164 --> 00:07:07,731 [ Clears throat ] 135 00:07:07,775 --> 00:07:09,298 Yeah, soon. 136 00:07:14,608 --> 00:07:16,261 [ Door closes ] 137 00:07:16,305 --> 00:07:17,480 Hey, man. 138 00:07:17,524 --> 00:07:18,960 Yeah. 139 00:07:19,003 --> 00:07:21,049 There's a way. 140 00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:22,485 There's a way what? 141 00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:24,792 There's a way to say, "Hey, Mom and Dad, 142 00:07:24,835 --> 00:07:26,837 it's back." 143 00:07:26,881 --> 00:07:28,099 The money? 144 00:07:28,143 --> 00:07:30,406 Yeah. 145 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:31,494 What way? 146 00:07:31,538 --> 00:07:32,713 One way. 147 00:07:32,756 --> 00:07:33,975 What way? 148 00:07:34,018 --> 00:07:35,846 You have to lay down in my bed. 149 00:07:35,890 --> 00:07:38,458 Right now. 150 00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:39,546 Withyou? 151 00:07:39,589 --> 00:07:40,982 Not with me. 152 00:07:41,025 --> 00:07:42,549 If you stay over there, I'll stay over here, 153 00:07:42,592 --> 00:07:45,552 but you have to decide right now, New Leaf. 154 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:03,134 I'm not Paul Brown. My name's James. 155 00:08:03,178 --> 00:08:04,527 I'm trying to get this money. 156 00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:07,138 There's a Texas Ranger... 157 00:08:07,182 --> 00:08:08,488 I have to get to Mexico, 158 00:08:08,531 --> 00:08:10,054 and he can't know where I'm going, 159 00:08:10,098 --> 00:08:11,534 but they're gonna put that ankle lock back on me 160 00:08:11,578 --> 00:08:13,536 in 30 seconds, and if I can't get to Mexico, 161 00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:16,365 man, I can't get this money. 162 00:08:21,326 --> 00:08:23,328 [ Sirens wail ] 163 00:08:23,372 --> 00:08:24,982 [ Police radio chatter ] 164 00:08:25,026 --> 00:08:26,636 [ Officers speaking Spanish ] 165 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:27,898 [ Officer shouts in Spanish ] 166 00:08:27,942 --> 00:08:30,292 [ Pounding on door ] 167 00:08:32,468 --> 00:08:34,078 [ Shouting continues ] 168 00:08:34,122 --> 00:08:36,298 [ Pounding continues ] 169 00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:37,604 [ Sirens continue ] 170 00:08:44,741 --> 00:08:47,527 [ Windshield wipers whirring ] 171 00:08:57,624 --> 00:09:01,236 Abduction, aggravated assault, aiding and abetting, 172 00:09:01,279 --> 00:09:05,762 attempted arson, arson, battery, bribery, burglary... 173 00:09:05,806 --> 00:09:07,503 Are y-- Are you doing that... 174 00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:08,852 alphabetically? 175 00:09:08,896 --> 00:09:11,246 Yeah, because you were, I think. 176 00:09:11,289 --> 00:09:12,900 I was. 177 00:09:12,943 --> 00:09:15,163 Helps me remember. 178 00:09:15,206 --> 00:09:18,601 Jesus, how many times have you been arrested? 179 00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:21,256 I've been here for three years, 180 00:09:21,299 --> 00:09:23,606 and your parents tried to change me. 181 00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:26,609 But it was just a trick. 182 00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:31,005 In three years, I could've been hollering at dudes. 183 00:09:31,048 --> 00:09:32,659 Fucking dudes. 184 00:09:32,702 --> 00:09:34,791 Scissoring chicks. 185 00:09:34,835 --> 00:09:37,098 Fucking with people. 186 00:09:37,141 --> 00:09:39,317 Standing girls up. 187 00:09:39,361 --> 00:09:41,711 Bringing dudes down. 188 00:09:41,755 --> 00:09:43,670 You get it. 189 00:09:43,713 --> 00:09:45,106 Breaking shit. 190 00:09:45,149 --> 00:09:47,195 Taking shit. 191 00:09:47,238 --> 00:09:49,414 Neck-punching twats. 192 00:09:49,458 --> 00:09:51,939 Twat-punching cunts. 193 00:09:51,982 --> 00:09:55,116 Cunt-punching dicks. 194 00:09:55,159 --> 00:09:57,553 You get it. 195 00:09:57,597 --> 00:10:02,558 I got a wide-open mind, and it's wide open again. 196 00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:05,866 [ Birds chirping ] 197 00:10:05,909 --> 00:10:08,825 I'm... 198 00:10:08,869 --> 00:10:10,261 so surprised. 199 00:10:10,305 --> 00:10:14,657 Your mom's so surprised. 200 00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:17,138 So, I want $65,000, 201 00:10:17,181 --> 00:10:19,357 or I'm going to turn you both in. 202 00:10:19,401 --> 00:10:22,273 But you got to tell me exactly what's going on here, 203 00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:24,667 because you guys seem kind of dumb, 204 00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:26,321 and I want to make sure you're not gonna 205 00:10:26,364 --> 00:10:32,632 fuck the whole thing up and get me arrested again. 206 00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:35,286 $65,000 is a lot of money. 207 00:10:35,330 --> 00:10:37,593 [ Sighs ] 208 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,508 I can suspend third- and fourth-quarter 209 00:10:39,551 --> 00:10:41,684 audit requirements. 210 00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:44,165 That means the money would transfer 211 00:10:44,208 --> 00:10:46,341 14 days from now. 212 00:10:56,568 --> 00:10:58,440 We're back to 14 days. 213 00:10:58,483 --> 00:11:00,094 Fuck yeah. 214 00:11:00,137 --> 00:11:01,748 I got to figure out how to get the Ranger 215 00:11:01,791 --> 00:11:03,837 all the way to yogurt. 216 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:05,055 And you gotta get your Uncle Dave 217 00:11:05,099 --> 00:11:07,275 to stop talking to him. 218 00:11:16,937 --> 00:11:18,416 Pa: Nothing personal, ladies. 219 00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:22,420 I need access to a computer to freeze funds. 220 00:11:22,464 --> 00:11:25,423 Eva: There are computers at our place of business. 221 00:11:28,383 --> 00:11:30,298 Cab driver: It's a TV game show that takes place 222 00:11:30,341 --> 00:11:32,169 right here in my taxi. 223 00:11:32,213 --> 00:11:33,518 Alright, here's how the game works. 224 00:11:33,562 --> 00:11:35,520 I'm your host. My name is Ben Bailey. 225 00:11:35,564 --> 00:11:37,218 I'm gonna drive you to your destination. 226 00:11:37,261 --> 00:11:39,176 I'm gonna ask you general-knowledge questions 227 00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:40,308 along the way. 228 00:11:40,351 --> 00:11:41,483 I'm gonna start off easy 229 00:11:41,526 --> 00:11:43,267 and get harder as we go. 230 00:11:43,311 --> 00:11:45,313 As long as you continue to answer the questions correctly, 231 00:11:45,356 --> 00:11:47,619 you're gonna win cash money all the way from here to there. 232 00:11:47,663 --> 00:11:49,317 But here's the catch. 233 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:50,710 If you get three wrong, 234 00:11:50,753 --> 00:11:52,276 that's three strikes, and you're out, 235 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:53,843 which means I'm gonna pull over and kick you out 236 00:11:53,887 --> 00:11:56,759 right where we are on the spot, and you lose it all. 237 00:11:56,803 --> 00:11:58,021 So, those are the rules of the game. 238 00:11:58,065 --> 00:11:59,936 What do you say? Do you want to play? 239 00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:02,722 [ Siren wails in distance ] 240 00:12:02,765 --> 00:12:05,942 How much is to gain, Ben? 241 00:12:05,986 --> 00:12:10,773 Um, tops ever is 3,000 bucks. 242 00:12:10,817 --> 00:12:13,820 How much does a handgun cost these days, 243 00:12:13,863 --> 00:12:16,083 roughly speaking, Ben, 244 00:12:16,126 --> 00:12:17,780 in the U.S.? 245 00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:19,042 No idea, man. 246 00:12:19,086 --> 00:12:20,827 A thousand. Two thousand. 247 00:12:20,870 --> 00:12:24,134 I don't know. 248 00:12:24,178 --> 00:12:26,223 Let's play, Ben. 249 00:12:26,267 --> 00:12:30,488 250 00:12:30,532 --> 00:12:33,317 Uncle Dave. Alright! 251 00:12:33,361 --> 00:12:36,103 Come on out of that tiny booth and give me a big hug! 252 00:12:36,146 --> 00:12:37,495 [ Engine turns off ] 253 00:12:37,539 --> 00:12:39,889 Uh, I'm not allowed to make contact. 254 00:12:39,933 --> 00:12:41,456 Paul. 255 00:12:41,499 --> 00:12:42,457 Here. 256 00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:44,198 Physical contact. 257 00:12:44,241 --> 00:12:45,721 "F" that "S." 258 00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,114 [ Chuckles ] 259 00:12:47,157 --> 00:12:50,030 Cab driver: Which of the following 260 00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:52,815 is not a Kardashian? 261 00:12:52,859 --> 00:12:55,383 Kim, Kourtney, 262 00:12:55,426 --> 00:12:58,690 Khloé, or Kevin? 263 00:12:58,734 --> 00:13:01,258 Whom? 264 00:13:01,302 --> 00:13:04,131 The Kardashians. 265 00:13:04,174 --> 00:13:05,306 Whom? 266 00:13:05,349 --> 00:13:06,916 The Kardashians. 267 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:08,222 Y-You keep saying that, 268 00:13:08,265 --> 00:13:10,702 but it's -- it's meaningless to me. 269 00:13:10,746 --> 00:13:12,095 They're on TV. 270 00:13:12,139 --> 00:13:13,531 And...? 271 00:13:13,575 --> 00:13:15,751 That's all. 272 00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:19,450 And what would you like me to do concerning them? 273 00:13:19,494 --> 00:13:21,496 Tell me which one is not one of them. 274 00:13:21,539 --> 00:13:24,629 Kim, Kourtney, Khloé, or Kevin. 275 00:13:24,673 --> 00:13:27,545 276 00:13:27,589 --> 00:13:32,028 I haven't got the faintest fucking idea, Ben. 277 00:13:32,072 --> 00:13:34,030 Strike one. 278 00:13:39,035 --> 00:13:42,125 I know about your father and mother, Paul. 279 00:13:42,169 --> 00:13:43,866 [ Horns honking ]Man: Oh, come on, man! 280 00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:46,173 I am so terribly sorry. 281 00:13:46,216 --> 00:13:48,262 Woman: Let's go![ Honking continues ] 282 00:13:48,305 --> 00:13:50,917 Hey, "F" you! I'm hugging my uncle! 283 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:53,049 This guy took me to see "Star Wars" 284 00:13:53,093 --> 00:13:54,964 even though I was grounded for breaking 285 00:13:55,008 --> 00:13:57,706 one of my mom's lamps and lying about it. 286 00:13:57,749 --> 00:14:00,840 And this guy snuck me out and snuck me back in. 287 00:14:00,883 --> 00:14:02,189 We got away with it. 288 00:14:02,232 --> 00:14:04,060 And I got to see "Star Wars." 289 00:14:04,104 --> 00:14:05,627 'Cause of him. 290 00:14:05,670 --> 00:14:08,891 So shut the "F" up.Man #2: Let's go! Move it! 291 00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:10,719 Uncle Dave, I want to talk to you 292 00:14:10,762 --> 00:14:14,070 about that Texas Ranger. 293 00:14:14,114 --> 00:14:22,557 294 00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:30,957 295 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,916 [ Cellphones ringing, chiming ] 296 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:37,789 297 00:14:37,833 --> 00:14:41,663 Boy, you ladies are popular. 298 00:14:41,706 --> 00:14:45,406 You can't name a single Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson movie? 299 00:14:45,449 --> 00:14:47,974 I cannot. 300 00:14:48,017 --> 00:14:49,671 Remember, you can use a Shout Out. 301 00:14:49,714 --> 00:14:51,151 What Out? 302 00:14:51,194 --> 00:14:53,893 You can reach out to a friend or family member 303 00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:56,721 or a colleague for help with the answer. 304 00:14:56,765 --> 00:14:59,550 Doesn't apply. 305 00:14:59,594 --> 00:15:01,944 To me. This. 306 00:15:01,988 --> 00:15:03,511 Why not? 307 00:15:03,554 --> 00:15:07,080 I no longer have those, Ben. 308 00:15:07,123 --> 00:15:09,212 You no longer have what? 309 00:15:09,256 --> 00:15:13,042 Friends, family, or colleagues. 310 00:15:13,086 --> 00:15:15,958 May I ask, can we proceed to the difficult questions? 311 00:15:16,002 --> 00:15:18,047 What's that? 312 00:15:18,091 --> 00:15:21,311 Perhaps, of your questions, 313 00:15:21,355 --> 00:15:24,097 you can ask me the most difficult now. 314 00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:28,797 And we'll, say, skip the easy ones. 315 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,842 I don't know if we can d-do that. 316 00:15:30,886 --> 00:15:32,975 Nobody ever asked me to do that before. 317 00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:35,456 Why don't you do a Shout Out with your boss? 318 00:15:37,849 --> 00:15:40,417 Uncle Dave: He's asking questions about a little girl. 319 00:15:40,461 --> 00:15:43,290 Uncle Dave, what -- he's saying that I hurt someone? 320 00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:45,770 I do magic because I hate the world 321 00:15:45,814 --> 00:15:48,904 where people hurt people, and I want to live above it, 322 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:53,126 on a magic cloud where you saw hot women in half 323 00:15:53,169 --> 00:15:54,823 but not really. 324 00:15:54,866 --> 00:15:57,957 Not...really. 325 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,002 I hate "really." 326 00:16:00,046 --> 00:16:01,917 I would never hurt anyone really -- 327 00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,788 never ever. 328 00:16:03,832 --> 00:16:05,442 You know me. 329 00:16:05,486 --> 00:16:06,748 You know that. 330 00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:08,271 Like I know you wouldn't. 331 00:16:08,315 --> 00:16:10,578 I know you would never hurt a-- One second. 332 00:16:10,621 --> 00:16:12,362 I'm a registered sex offender. 333 00:16:12,406 --> 00:16:14,669 Please retrieve your change from the change bowl. 334 00:16:14,712 --> 00:16:16,105 [ Change clinks ]We have not touched. 335 00:16:16,149 --> 00:16:17,498 Have a nice day. 336 00:16:17,541 --> 00:16:19,543 Cab driver: Uh, hey. 337 00:16:19,587 --> 00:16:23,069 Yeah, this guy wants to skip to the really hard questions. 338 00:16:23,112 --> 00:16:25,245 Man: What a moron. 339 00:16:25,288 --> 00:16:26,463 Eh, why not. 340 00:16:26,507 --> 00:16:29,031 Cool. 341 00:16:29,075 --> 00:16:30,685 He said okay. 342 00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:32,904 But one more strike and you're out. 343 00:16:32,948 --> 00:16:35,255 And we're only a couple of blocks from Grand Central. 344 00:16:35,298 --> 00:16:38,606 It's the $200 round. 345 00:16:38,649 --> 00:16:40,347 Capital of Uruguay? 346 00:16:40,390 --> 00:16:41,609 Montevideo.[ Chimes ] 347 00:16:41,652 --> 00:16:42,827 Nauru? 348 00:16:42,871 --> 00:16:44,481 Nauru has no capital.[ Chimes ] 349 00:16:44,525 --> 00:16:46,222 What's the world's largest desert -- 350 00:16:46,266 --> 00:16:47,832 Antarctica.[ Chimes ] 351 00:16:47,876 --> 00:16:49,312 How many provinces does Holland ha-- 352 00:16:49,356 --> 00:16:50,618 None.[ Chimes ] 353 00:16:50,661 --> 00:16:52,794 In which battle was Mark Antony -- 354 00:16:52,837 --> 00:16:54,056 Actium.[ Chimes ] 355 00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,971 What gas -- Helium. 356 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,494 Which -- Charles Dickens. 357 00:16:57,538 --> 00:17:04,632 358 00:17:04,675 --> 00:17:07,200 I know that you would never ever hurt anyone -- 359 00:17:07,243 --> 00:17:08,766 Never, ever. 360 00:17:08,810 --> 00:17:11,378 That's why I always sent you letters. 361 00:17:11,421 --> 00:17:13,597 And that's why I always loved you. 362 00:17:13,641 --> 00:17:15,382 During your shame. 363 00:17:15,425 --> 00:17:17,949 And that's why I'm here now. 364 00:17:17,993 --> 00:17:20,039 My mom's gone. 365 00:17:20,082 --> 00:17:22,215 But I'm here. 366 00:17:22,258 --> 00:17:24,304 [ Chuckles ] And I love you. 367 00:17:24,347 --> 00:17:27,785 And your love for my mom lives on -- 368 00:17:27,829 --> 00:17:32,442 and on and on, because it's family love. 369 00:17:32,486 --> 00:17:34,836 It goes past forever. 370 00:17:34,879 --> 00:17:36,838 Like ours. 371 00:17:36,881 --> 00:17:39,014 It's five-ever. 372 00:17:42,235 --> 00:17:44,063 Are you gonna stop talking to Walker Texas Ranger 373 00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:47,327 about totally f'ing B.S.? 374 00:17:47,370 --> 00:17:49,111 I am. 375 00:17:49,155 --> 00:17:50,504 Cool. 376 00:17:52,027 --> 00:17:54,508 Let's get her home, Paul. 377 00:17:54,551 --> 00:17:58,860 Let's get her and Byron home, and let's treat them right. 378 00:17:58,903 --> 00:18:01,123 Get -- Get them home? 379 00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:03,430 For the funeral. 380 00:18:03,473 --> 00:18:06,868 She always wanted to be buried with her orphan hairbrush. 381 00:18:06,911 --> 00:18:11,090 The first touch of love she felt with the older girls. 382 00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:14,136 Are we gonna bring your mother and father's bodies 383 00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:15,442 home from Mexico 384 00:18:15,485 --> 00:18:17,879 so we can bury them properly, Paul, 385 00:18:17,922 --> 00:18:20,142 in the manner they deserve? 386 00:18:20,186 --> 00:18:23,319 We are. 387 00:18:23,363 --> 00:18:25,843 I've informed a funeral home, Paul, 388 00:18:25,887 --> 00:18:28,107 about your parents. 389 00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:35,331 390 00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:36,637 Jesus. 391 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:40,031 Hello. 392 00:18:40,075 --> 00:18:41,381 Hello. 393 00:18:41,424 --> 00:18:42,730 Did I startle you? 394 00:18:42,773 --> 00:18:44,862 Yes. 395 00:18:44,906 --> 00:18:48,039 Very sorry. 396 00:18:48,083 --> 00:18:52,696 Paul, is it? 397 00:18:52,740 --> 00:18:53,958 Yes. 398 00:18:54,002 --> 00:18:58,354 Well, I'm here on a matter of -- 399 00:18:58,398 --> 00:19:00,182 Well... 400 00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:04,665 a matter of life and death. 401 00:19:04,708 --> 00:19:10,584 I'd like to begin your parents on their journey onward. 402 00:19:10,627 --> 00:19:14,892 I'd like to help carry them over. 403 00:19:14,936 --> 00:19:21,160 And I would need to begin that process soon. 404 00:19:21,203 --> 00:19:23,074 My parents are dead. 405 00:19:23,118 --> 00:19:24,859 I know that, Paul. 406 00:19:24,902 --> 00:19:27,731 That's why I'm here. 407 00:19:27,775 --> 00:19:29,907 I'm Jonathan Joy. 408 00:19:29,951 --> 00:19:35,261 Griego & Joy Funeral Homes. 409 00:19:35,304 --> 00:19:38,089 410 00:19:47,316 --> 00:19:50,798 411 00:19:59,285 --> 00:20:01,330 [ Vibrating ] 412 00:20:01,374 --> 00:20:07,597 413 00:20:07,641 --> 00:20:09,251 [ Vibrating continues ] 414 00:20:09,295 --> 00:20:13,603 415 00:20:20,567 --> 00:20:22,873 Please do come see me. 416 00:20:22,917 --> 00:20:24,962 417 00:20:25,006 --> 00:20:29,315 Let's get your parents home from Mexico. 418 00:20:29,358 --> 00:20:35,277 The lawful and healthful process of retrieval. 419 00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:41,152 Then let's get them on their journey Onward. 420 00:20:41,196 --> 00:20:43,633 Let's. 421 00:20:43,677 --> 00:20:49,248 Whenwill you come see me, Young Paul? 422 00:20:49,291 --> 00:20:51,728 Tomorrow would be... 423 00:20:51,772 --> 00:20:54,905 good to begin the lawful, um... 424 00:20:54,949 --> 00:20:56,255 thing, yeah. 425 00:20:56,298 --> 00:20:57,256 Good. 426 00:20:57,299 --> 00:21:01,303 Well... 427 00:21:01,347 --> 00:21:03,392 until tomorrow. 428 00:21:03,436 --> 00:21:14,403 429 00:21:14,447 --> 00:21:25,414 430 00:21:25,458 --> 00:21:27,547 James: Hey. 431 00:21:27,590 --> 00:21:29,244 Glenn: Yeah. 432 00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:30,245 Nice. 433 00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:31,464 What was? 434 00:21:31,507 --> 00:21:32,595 Nice work. 435 00:21:32,639 --> 00:21:34,118 In Mexico, man. 436 00:21:34,162 --> 00:21:35,946 Thanks. 437 00:21:35,990 --> 00:21:38,427 That was a really awesome shared experience. 438 00:21:38,471 --> 00:21:39,646 Yeah. 439 00:21:39,689 --> 00:21:41,952 Got lost in the desert. 440 00:21:41,996 --> 00:21:44,215 Yeah. I remember that part. 441 00:21:44,259 --> 00:21:48,872 I didn't put the sombrero on. 442 00:21:48,916 --> 00:21:51,048 Yeah, why not? 443 00:21:51,092 --> 00:21:52,615 That would've been smart. 444 00:21:52,659 --> 00:21:55,662 I wanted it to be fresh. 445 00:21:55,705 --> 00:21:58,055 A fresh sombrero. 446 00:21:58,099 --> 00:22:01,885 Why did you want a fresh sombrero, Glenn? 447 00:22:01,929 --> 00:22:03,844 To give to my dad. 448 00:22:03,887 --> 00:22:07,151 For Father's Day. 449 00:22:07,195 --> 00:22:08,979 Hey, I want to be quiet. 450 00:22:09,023 --> 00:22:10,503 You and me, New Leaf. 451 00:22:10,546 --> 00:22:15,812 About being in Mexico this week, 'cause... 452 00:22:15,856 --> 00:22:19,468 Isn't your dad kinda... 453 00:22:19,512 --> 00:22:21,992 not great? 454 00:22:22,036 --> 00:22:24,604 Yeah, he's not great. 455 00:22:24,647 --> 00:22:26,214 Town drunk, you said? 456 00:22:26,257 --> 00:22:28,390 Yeah. 457 00:22:28,434 --> 00:22:30,610 Well, my dad's not great either. 458 00:22:30,653 --> 00:22:34,265 He went into outer space and lost his mind. 459 00:22:38,661 --> 00:22:40,663 Our Pastor? 460 00:22:40,707 --> 00:22:42,752 What's that? 461 00:22:42,796 --> 00:22:45,364 Pastor Brown. 462 00:22:45,407 --> 00:22:47,366 He went into outer space? 463 00:22:51,195 --> 00:22:52,719 Yeah. 464 00:22:52,762 --> 00:22:55,417 Yeah, in a special program. 465 00:22:55,461 --> 00:22:57,593 An international... 466 00:22:57,637 --> 00:22:58,986 With Russia. 467 00:22:59,029 --> 00:23:02,424 An International Pastor Space Thing. 468 00:23:02,468 --> 00:23:04,165 Cool. 469 00:23:20,224 --> 00:23:22,183 Constable: No sign of trauma. 470 00:23:22,226 --> 00:23:24,359 Nor indications of blunt force. 471 00:23:24,403 --> 00:23:27,318 Nor ligature bruising. 472 00:23:27,362 --> 00:23:30,670 None. 473 00:23:30,713 --> 00:23:32,541 You just found him dead? 474 00:23:32,585 --> 00:23:35,936 Found him cold just there. 475 00:23:35,979 --> 00:23:37,067 No telling how? 476 00:23:37,111 --> 00:23:38,329 No telling how. 477 00:23:38,373 --> 00:23:41,028 Cab driver: Alright. Final question. 478 00:23:41,071 --> 00:23:42,769 It's all gonna come down to this. 479 00:23:42,812 --> 00:23:44,292 Who is the youngest person 480 00:23:44,335 --> 00:23:47,077 ever convicted of first-degree murder? 481 00:23:47,121 --> 00:23:49,036 Name and age. 482 00:23:49,079 --> 00:23:50,516 [ Brakes squeak ] 483 00:23:50,559 --> 00:23:53,693 We're pulling up here. Clock's ticking. 484 00:23:53,736 --> 00:23:55,172 You want to use that Shout Out? 485 00:23:55,216 --> 00:23:56,739 You got a real hot streak going. 486 00:23:56,783 --> 00:23:58,698 It'd be a shame to strike out half a block away. 487 00:23:58,741 --> 00:24:00,264 You can ask a stranger on the street. 488 00:24:00,308 --> 00:24:02,615 That's not necessary. 489 00:24:06,270 --> 00:24:09,143 Two young men. 490 00:24:09,186 --> 00:24:11,493 Byron Brown. 491 00:24:11,537 --> 00:24:14,757 Donald James DeLoash. 492 00:24:14,801 --> 00:24:17,760 Aged 8. 493 00:24:17,804 --> 00:24:19,893 Donald was younger. 494 00:24:19,936 --> 00:24:23,331 By five months. 495 00:24:23,374 --> 00:24:25,202 So Donald DeLoash. 496 00:24:25,246 --> 00:24:26,769 [ Chimes ][ Chuckling ] Oh, my God. 497 00:24:26,813 --> 00:24:29,163 You just won $5,000 in the Cash Cab! 498 00:24:29,206 --> 00:24:30,817 You're the biggest winner we've ever had. 499 00:24:30,860 --> 00:24:34,516 That's a new record! What's your name? 500 00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:36,692 Donald DeLoash. 501 00:24:39,390 --> 00:24:41,436 May I have my cash? 502 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:44,613 I'm due on a train west soon, Ben. 503 00:24:47,486 --> 00:24:49,836 Two of the orphan boys are missing. 504 00:24:49,879 --> 00:24:52,186 Byron Brown. Donald DeLoash. 505 00:24:52,229 --> 00:24:53,927 And seven bed sheets missing. 506 00:24:53,970 --> 00:24:56,495 Six were found strung together hanging from this floor 507 00:24:56,538 --> 00:24:59,933 to the alley 'round back. 508 00:24:59,976 --> 00:25:02,457 Seven were taken?Seven sheets. 509 00:25:02,501 --> 00:25:03,676 Six found. 510 00:25:03,719 --> 00:25:06,069 Six found 'round back. 511 00:25:27,308 --> 00:25:29,571 [ Groans ] 512 00:25:29,615 --> 00:25:31,094 [ Sighs ] 513 00:25:37,623 --> 00:25:41,540 It's cool you got your dad a hat, Glenn. 514 00:25:41,583 --> 00:25:44,543 But he doesn't, like... 515 00:25:47,328 --> 00:25:49,765 He doesn't do what most dads do. 516 00:25:49,809 --> 00:25:51,158 Like what? 517 00:25:51,201 --> 00:25:53,464 Like... 518 00:25:53,508 --> 00:25:56,032 Like look out for the people they love. 519 00:25:59,819 --> 00:26:01,168 Your dad doesn't look out for you, Glenn, 520 00:26:01,211 --> 00:26:02,778 and it's not cool. 521 00:26:02,822 --> 00:26:05,607 The sombrero is cool. 522 00:26:05,651 --> 00:26:07,348 So maybe you should save it 523 00:26:07,391 --> 00:26:10,177 and, like... give it to someone later, 524 00:26:10,220 --> 00:26:14,355 you know, who really deserves a fresh sombrero. 525 00:26:17,227 --> 00:26:18,794 Like who. 526 00:26:18,838 --> 00:26:22,493 I don't know -- just someone in your future. 527 00:26:22,537 --> 00:26:24,887 Like in a jet pack? 528 00:26:24,931 --> 00:26:27,629 What are you talking about? 529 00:26:27,673 --> 00:26:30,023 In the futures. 530 00:26:30,066 --> 00:26:33,156 Of jet packs. 531 00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:34,897 The future's not -- 532 00:26:37,683 --> 00:26:43,689 The future's not just jet packs and robots and shit. 533 00:26:43,732 --> 00:26:46,779 Then what is it? 534 00:26:46,822 --> 00:26:49,564 The future is, like, 535 00:26:49,608 --> 00:26:52,219 any time at all ahead of right now. 536 00:26:52,262 --> 00:26:53,873 Like... 537 00:26:53,916 --> 00:26:56,658 Like, in two seconds. Like, right now plus a second. 538 00:26:56,702 --> 00:26:58,791 That's the future. 539 00:26:58,834 --> 00:27:01,315 It doesn't have to have robots. 540 00:27:01,358 --> 00:27:03,230 It does not. 541 00:27:03,273 --> 00:27:05,841 Fuck. 542 00:27:05,885 --> 00:27:07,582 Okay. 543 00:27:07,626 --> 00:27:10,106 That's good to know. 544 00:27:10,150 --> 00:27:13,544 It is good to know, Glenn. 545 00:27:16,069 --> 00:27:19,942 If we weren't friends, if you hadn't told me that, 546 00:27:19,986 --> 00:27:23,076 I'd be running around talking about robots and shit. 547 00:27:23,119 --> 00:27:25,731 People would think I was an idiot. 548 00:27:25,774 --> 00:27:29,212 Then I could never get a girlfriend or anything. 549 00:27:29,256 --> 00:27:31,650 Well, maybe you can now. 550 00:27:31,693 --> 00:27:34,653 There's still lots of other stuff we got to learn, 551 00:27:34,696 --> 00:27:36,829 get straightened out. 552 00:27:36,872 --> 00:27:38,569 Cool. 553 00:27:49,885 --> 00:27:52,105 Man, thanks. 554 00:27:52,148 --> 00:27:55,586 Glenn. 555 00:27:55,630 --> 00:27:58,807 Don't give it to me,man. 556 00:27:58,851 --> 00:28:02,158 Youlook out for me. 557 00:28:02,202 --> 00:28:06,467 [ Sighs ] 558 00:28:06,510 --> 00:28:10,384 I don't want you to give up on your dad... 559 00:28:10,427 --> 00:28:13,779 'cause... 560 00:28:13,822 --> 00:28:15,128 Well, 'cause maybe something someday 561 00:28:15,171 --> 00:28:16,782 will wake his dumb ass up. 562 00:28:16,825 --> 00:28:18,740 And... 563 00:28:18,784 --> 00:28:21,351 I still call my dad. Once a week. 564 00:28:21,395 --> 00:28:24,528 Even though he can't hear me through his fucking huge helmet. 565 00:28:24,572 --> 00:28:26,226 He -- He -- He wears this space helmet, 566 00:28:26,269 --> 00:28:28,271 and he wanders around Austin, Texas. 567 00:28:28,315 --> 00:28:31,361 Like the village idiot. In a space suit. 568 00:28:31,405 --> 00:28:34,582 We're still talking about Pastor Brown? 569 00:28:38,368 --> 00:28:41,676 No. 570 00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:44,897 I have another dad. 571 00:28:44,940 --> 00:28:47,769 He's the Village Idiot? 572 00:28:47,813 --> 00:28:49,597 Yeah. 573 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:54,167 Mine's the Town Drunk. 574 00:28:54,210 --> 00:28:55,734 [ Chuckles ] 575 00:28:55,777 --> 00:28:57,431 We should introduce them to each other. 576 00:28:57,474 --> 00:28:59,520 [ Chuckles ] 577 00:28:59,563 --> 00:29:01,870 Yeah, we should. 578 00:29:07,484 --> 00:29:11,575 Glenn, my name's James. 579 00:29:11,619 --> 00:29:13,403 Schaeler. 580 00:29:15,492 --> 00:29:17,712 I'm in the middle of an elaborate plot 581 00:29:17,756 --> 00:29:20,497 that's... 582 00:29:20,541 --> 00:29:22,717 fucking kind of falling apart 583 00:29:22,761 --> 00:29:25,285 to take all of Pastor Brown's money, 584 00:29:25,328 --> 00:29:27,200 which... 585 00:29:27,243 --> 00:29:33,162 I mean, he's a really bad man, so...maybe that means something. 586 00:29:33,206 --> 00:29:35,338 I don't know. 587 00:29:35,382 --> 00:29:37,819 I don't even know why I'm telling you 588 00:29:37,863 --> 00:29:41,562 all this right now. 589 00:29:41,605 --> 00:29:45,348 I still want you to have my fresh sombrero. 590 00:29:45,392 --> 00:29:47,307 Maybe even more than him. 591 00:29:49,570 --> 00:29:50,658 He's right there? 592 00:29:50,701 --> 00:29:52,051 Yeah. 593 00:29:52,094 --> 00:29:55,010 That's him. 594 00:29:55,054 --> 00:29:57,056 You haven't gone over and tell him you're okay? 595 00:29:57,099 --> 00:29:59,667 To give him the fresh sombrero? 596 00:29:59,710 --> 00:30:02,409 I was enjoying being with you. 597 00:30:05,368 --> 00:30:07,806 Wesley: New Leaf? 598 00:30:07,849 --> 00:30:09,546 New Leaf: Right. 599 00:30:09,590 --> 00:30:10,678 New Leaf? 600 00:30:10,721 --> 00:30:13,507 Right. 601 00:30:13,550 --> 00:30:15,030 That's a name? 602 00:30:15,074 --> 00:30:17,163 That's myname. 603 00:30:25,693 --> 00:30:27,260 Are you Native American? 604 00:30:27,303 --> 00:30:30,089 No. 605 00:30:30,132 --> 00:30:33,614 I'm formerly cruel, and I turned a new leaf. 606 00:30:33,657 --> 00:30:36,095 What are you now? 607 00:30:36,138 --> 00:30:39,533 A little indisposed at the moment. 608 00:30:39,576 --> 00:30:43,058 How did that get there? 609 00:30:43,102 --> 00:30:44,886 How'd what? 610 00:30:44,930 --> 00:30:46,235 The ankle bracelet? 611 00:30:46,279 --> 00:30:47,846 The ankle bracelet what? 612 00:30:47,889 --> 00:30:50,152 How did that fucking ankle bracelet 613 00:30:50,196 --> 00:30:52,372 get on your ankle? 614 00:30:57,203 --> 00:31:00,728 I don't care what your name is or what you're doing. 615 00:31:00,771 --> 00:31:03,209 People fucking suck, man. 616 00:31:03,252 --> 00:31:06,038 And you don't, so... 617 00:31:06,081 --> 00:31:08,736 How do you know that, man? 618 00:31:08,779 --> 00:31:10,433 Know what? 619 00:31:10,477 --> 00:31:12,871 That people fucking suck? 620 00:31:12,914 --> 00:31:15,874 I work in a pawn shop. 621 00:31:15,917 --> 00:31:18,746 Glenn... 622 00:31:18,789 --> 00:31:22,097 [ Sighing ] Ah, man. 623 00:31:22,141 --> 00:31:23,577 Go. 624 00:31:23,620 --> 00:31:26,275 Go up there and tell your dad you're okay 625 00:31:26,319 --> 00:31:29,061 and give him this fucking awesome 626 00:31:29,104 --> 00:31:30,932 Father's Day Fresh Sombrero, 627 00:31:30,976 --> 00:31:33,674 and, man, just see the look on his face. 628 00:31:33,717 --> 00:31:35,241 Alright, and, man... 629 00:31:35,284 --> 00:31:37,547 feel how fucking hard he hugs you, 630 00:31:37,591 --> 00:31:39,985 'cause he's not crazy like my dad. 631 00:31:40,028 --> 00:31:41,290 He's just drunk. 632 00:31:41,334 --> 00:31:42,988 He can stop that. 633 00:31:45,904 --> 00:31:47,557 Give him a chance. 634 00:31:47,601 --> 00:31:50,386 You bought it. 635 00:31:50,430 --> 00:31:52,998 You kept it fresh. 636 00:31:53,041 --> 00:31:55,783 Yeah. 637 00:31:55,826 --> 00:31:59,352 Because you love him. 638 00:31:59,395 --> 00:32:02,355 Yeah. 639 00:32:02,398 --> 00:32:05,924 Give it to him. 640 00:32:05,967 --> 00:32:07,969 Okay. 641 00:32:09,014 --> 00:32:10,841 [ Sighs ] 642 00:32:10,885 --> 00:32:13,496 Please, tell him, uh, not to wear it around town, 643 00:32:13,540 --> 00:32:17,587 'cause of the, you know, the Ranger and Mexico, and... 644 00:32:17,631 --> 00:32:20,373 Just please tell him to hide -- hide the sombrero. 645 00:32:20,416 --> 00:32:22,114 Cool. 646 00:32:50,098 --> 00:32:54,102 The computer you wish to use is right over here. 647 00:32:54,146 --> 00:32:57,236 [ Rifles cock ] 648 00:32:57,279 --> 00:33:02,241 649 00:33:02,284 --> 00:33:04,808 [ Rifles cock ] 650 00:33:04,852 --> 00:33:14,035 651 00:33:14,079 --> 00:33:17,212 [ Rifle cocks ] 652 00:33:17,256 --> 00:33:26,961 653 00:33:27,005 --> 00:33:36,623 654 00:33:36,666 --> 00:33:38,407 New Leaf: I'm hearing in your voice 655 00:33:38,451 --> 00:33:42,194 an indication that... maybe you think I'm stupid. 656 00:33:42,237 --> 00:33:44,544 [ Scoffs ] 657 00:33:44,587 --> 00:33:47,721 Would you like, Ranger, to hear a scenario? 658 00:33:47,764 --> 00:33:49,418 I would like to hear how the bracelet 659 00:33:49,462 --> 00:33:53,292 got on your ankle. 660 00:33:53,335 --> 00:33:56,208 Well, here's the scenario. 661 00:33:56,251 --> 00:33:57,905 And at the end, you might ask yourself, 662 00:33:57,948 --> 00:34:00,516 "Who's the fucking nincompoop here?" 663 00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:04,172 Keeping vigil night and day. Vigil for my caring parents. 664 00:34:04,216 --> 00:34:06,522 Night and day. Tired. 665 00:34:06,566 --> 00:34:08,524 In their hospital. Nod off. 666 00:34:08,568 --> 00:34:11,092 From the long vigil. I wake up. 667 00:34:11,136 --> 00:34:14,052 I got a fucking gizmo attached to me here. 668 00:34:14,095 --> 00:34:16,793 Someone latched up the wrong man, Ranger. 669 00:34:16,837 --> 00:34:19,927 Nincompoop? Not me. 670 00:34:19,970 --> 00:34:22,538 Not in this scenario. 671 00:34:22,582 --> 00:34:25,454 A Kilroy County Deputy put that on you. 672 00:34:25,498 --> 00:34:28,196 Yeah. Okay. 673 00:34:28,240 --> 00:34:30,677 He thought you were Paul Allen Brown. 674 00:34:30,720 --> 00:34:31,982 Well, I'm New Leaf. 675 00:34:32,026 --> 00:34:33,506 We've established that, 676 00:34:33,549 --> 00:34:35,899 and I've never been to Texas, Jack, 677 00:34:35,943 --> 00:34:38,424 and I got a Texas gizmo on me here, 678 00:34:38,467 --> 00:34:40,991 and you got no jurisdiction on my goddamn shit, 679 00:34:41,035 --> 00:34:43,777 so unless you want to give me a fucking trim, 680 00:34:43,820 --> 00:34:45,822 get this bitch off my ankle. 681 00:34:45,866 --> 00:34:47,302 Toot Sweet. 682 00:34:47,346 --> 00:34:49,870 That's French, Motherfucker, for pronto. 683 00:34:49,913 --> 00:34:52,786 That's I-talian, Motherfucker, for right now. 684 00:34:52,829 --> 00:34:55,005 And that's English, Jack, your native tongue. 685 00:34:55,049 --> 00:34:56,529 So you get it. 686 00:34:56,572 --> 00:34:58,357 So get it done. 687 00:35:01,795 --> 00:35:03,710 You've never been to Texas? 688 00:35:06,495 --> 00:35:08,802 Well... 689 00:35:08,845 --> 00:35:10,630 Well what? 690 00:35:10,673 --> 00:35:12,588 Yesterday, yeah. 691 00:35:12,632 --> 00:35:15,461 And today, passing through. 692 00:35:15,504 --> 00:35:18,333 Today, yeah. 693 00:35:18,377 --> 00:35:20,814 On your trip to Mexico. 694 00:35:20,857 --> 00:35:23,121 Yeah. 695 00:35:23,164 --> 00:35:25,340 Mexico. 696 00:35:25,384 --> 00:35:27,864 Yeah. 697 00:35:27,908 --> 00:35:29,649 Mexico. 698 00:35:29,692 --> 00:35:31,781 You keep saying that. 699 00:35:35,133 --> 00:35:38,397 What were you doing in Mexico? 700 00:35:38,440 --> 00:35:40,355 You seem... 701 00:35:40,399 --> 00:35:43,663 I don't know -- sort of local to me. 702 00:35:43,706 --> 00:35:45,839 [ Vibrating ] 703 00:35:53,107 --> 00:35:54,891 [ Sighs ] 704 00:35:57,024 --> 00:36:00,201 Fuck you. 705 00:36:00,245 --> 00:36:02,203 Fuck me? 706 00:36:02,247 --> 00:36:04,727 Local? What's that? 707 00:36:04,771 --> 00:36:06,468 Is that supposed to mean I'm less than something 708 00:36:06,512 --> 00:36:07,948 or something? 709 00:36:07,991 --> 00:36:10,124 I was well raised. 710 00:36:10,168 --> 00:36:13,258 You could etch on my tombstone, "He should have known better." 711 00:36:13,301 --> 00:36:16,217 I was well raised by good, caring people. 712 00:36:16,261 --> 00:36:18,350 But I'm the dog that you clean up after 713 00:36:18,393 --> 00:36:20,308 and then hit with a fucking newspaper. 714 00:36:20,352 --> 00:36:24,312 I'm bad news, Ranger, but I'm not stupid, 715 00:36:24,356 --> 00:36:29,361 and I never broke one law in your fucking Lone Star State. 716 00:36:29,404 --> 00:36:32,320 So, you get this bracelet off. 717 00:36:32,364 --> 00:36:33,887 I got things I need to do. 718 00:36:33,930 --> 00:36:36,063 My parents died today. 719 00:36:36,106 --> 00:36:38,239 There are tasks. 720 00:36:38,283 --> 00:36:39,719 [ Inhales deeply ] 721 00:36:39,762 --> 00:36:42,112 There's been, here, 722 00:36:42,156 --> 00:36:44,463 a peculiar concentration of activity 723 00:36:44,506 --> 00:36:46,552 involving, somehow... 724 00:36:46,595 --> 00:36:49,032 Mexico. 725 00:36:49,076 --> 00:36:52,122 Among a peculiar number of people here. 726 00:36:56,605 --> 00:36:59,260 Killer. 727 00:36:59,304 --> 00:37:00,218 Me? 728 00:37:00,261 --> 00:37:01,480 Yeah. 729 00:37:01,523 --> 00:37:02,655 Convicted. 730 00:37:02,698 --> 00:37:04,047 Yeah. 731 00:37:04,091 --> 00:37:06,659 Motherfucker taunted my mother and father, 732 00:37:06,702 --> 00:37:08,095 and I did the time behind the bars 733 00:37:08,138 --> 00:37:09,966 and down in the barrel. 734 00:37:10,010 --> 00:37:12,142 Taunted. 735 00:37:12,186 --> 00:37:13,579 Yeah. 736 00:37:13,622 --> 00:37:15,494 And you shot him. 737 00:37:15,537 --> 00:37:17,844 Yeah. 738 00:37:17,887 --> 00:37:20,281 For taunting someone. 739 00:37:20,325 --> 00:37:22,240 Not someone. 740 00:37:22,283 --> 00:37:26,635 My mother and father. 741 00:37:26,679 --> 00:37:28,594 And since then... 742 00:37:28,637 --> 00:37:32,119 Since then what? 743 00:37:32,162 --> 00:37:34,904 You let anyone else have it like that? 744 00:37:34,948 --> 00:37:38,734 No one's given me a reason. 745 00:37:38,778 --> 00:37:41,911 What were you doing in Mexico, New Leaf? 746 00:37:43,478 --> 00:37:44,914 New Leaf? 747 00:37:44,958 --> 00:37:47,656 [ Sighs ] 748 00:37:47,700 --> 00:37:51,138 I was researching LensCrafters franchise opportunities 749 00:37:51,181 --> 00:37:53,706 in the suburbs of Greater northwestern Mexico. 750 00:37:53,749 --> 00:37:56,012 I'm a registered, licensed franchisee 751 00:37:56,056 --> 00:37:58,450 in the LensCrafters franchise family. 752 00:37:58,493 --> 00:38:01,931 I got $96,000 of my parents' life savings 753 00:38:01,975 --> 00:38:03,890 laying around in the form of hard costs, 754 00:38:03,933 --> 00:38:05,979 such as frames, lenses, 755 00:38:06,022 --> 00:38:09,243 and eyeglass stands I'm trying to recoup on. 756 00:38:09,287 --> 00:38:12,507 I attended a Mexican LensCrafters symposium yesterday 757 00:38:12,551 --> 00:38:15,554 for that reason. 758 00:38:15,597 --> 00:38:20,428 Here's my ticket, Wesley Walker, Texas Ranger. 759 00:38:20,472 --> 00:38:22,778 And I was at a real fucking disadvantage, man, 760 00:38:22,822 --> 00:38:25,825 seeking Mexican wholesale franchise discount opportunities 761 00:38:25,868 --> 00:38:28,088 with this shit on my ankle. 762 00:38:28,131 --> 00:38:30,612 So now, man... 763 00:38:30,656 --> 00:38:32,919 get her off. 764 00:38:32,962 --> 00:38:35,748 I'm not fucking around. Look at my face. 765 00:38:41,449 --> 00:38:45,888 You wandered down to Mexico with your folks at death's door? 766 00:38:45,932 --> 00:38:48,369 I'm useless, Ranger. 767 00:38:48,413 --> 00:38:49,588 It was their life savings. 768 00:38:49,631 --> 00:38:51,241 I endeavored to put it to good use 769 00:38:51,285 --> 00:38:53,374 before they passed away into the it's-never-gonna- 770 00:38:53,418 --> 00:38:55,768 fucking-happen-now end of it all. 771 00:38:55,811 --> 00:38:58,379 I didn't wander down to Mexico. 772 00:38:58,423 --> 00:38:59,772 I hurried. 773 00:38:59,815 --> 00:39:01,861 For them. 774 00:39:01,904 --> 00:39:03,515 Because as of 7:00 a.m. this morning, 775 00:39:03,558 --> 00:39:07,127 there was still hope. 776 00:39:07,170 --> 00:39:08,346 And now? 777 00:39:12,306 --> 00:39:14,613 And now... 778 00:39:14,656 --> 00:39:16,354 nope. 779 00:39:21,446 --> 00:39:22,882 Seriously, man. 780 00:39:22,925 --> 00:39:25,928 Stand the fuck up and get this off me. 781 00:39:25,972 --> 00:39:28,322 I got things I need to do. 782 00:39:38,463 --> 00:39:44,904 783 00:39:44,947 --> 00:39:51,432 784 00:39:51,476 --> 00:39:54,392 Any word? 785 00:39:54,435 --> 00:39:55,741 Pirdoo. 786 00:39:55,784 --> 00:39:57,873 787 00:39:57,917 --> 00:39:59,440 Word on Glenn? 788 00:39:59,484 --> 00:40:01,442 Word on Glenn. 789 00:40:01,486 --> 00:40:04,489 Glenn's home, Ranger. 790 00:40:04,532 --> 00:40:06,752 Well, that's great. 791 00:40:06,795 --> 00:40:09,494 It's fucking great, yeah. 792 00:40:09,537 --> 00:40:11,713 Where was your boy? 793 00:40:11,757 --> 00:40:13,106 Road trip. 794 00:40:13,149 --> 00:40:14,977 Roadie. 795 00:40:15,021 --> 00:40:16,457 He wrote me a note. 796 00:40:16,501 --> 00:40:18,851 It just washed away. 797 00:40:18,894 --> 00:40:21,331 He brought me something home. 798 00:40:21,375 --> 00:40:22,550 From his trip? 799 00:40:22,594 --> 00:40:23,508 Yeah. 800 00:40:23,551 --> 00:40:24,900 Father's Day. 801 00:40:24,944 --> 00:40:26,075 Well, that's fine. 802 00:40:26,119 --> 00:40:27,337 [ Chuckles ] 803 00:40:27,381 --> 00:40:29,470 That's a fine thing. 804 00:40:29,514 --> 00:40:31,167 Check it out. 805 00:40:31,211 --> 00:40:38,479 806 00:40:38,523 --> 00:40:40,133 Check it out, guy. 807 00:40:40,176 --> 00:40:50,491 808 00:40:50,535 --> 00:41:00,762 809 00:41:00,806 --> 00:41:11,120 810 00:41:11,164 --> 00:41:21,435 811 00:41:21,479 --> 00:41:23,524 New Leaf: Yeah, I went to Mexico, 812 00:41:23,568 --> 00:41:26,571 primarily because, if my parents passed away, 813 00:41:26,614 --> 00:41:30,444 I wanted to immediately kill So-Called James. 814 00:41:30,488 --> 00:41:32,446 But I still, of course, 815 00:41:32,490 --> 00:41:35,362 frequent LensCrafters franchise message boards 816 00:41:35,405 --> 00:41:38,104 in the hope of identifying opportunities to recoup 817 00:41:38,147 --> 00:41:42,108 some of my parents' investment in LensCrafters and in me. 818 00:41:42,151 --> 00:41:45,677 At this point, a sweet second chance 819 00:41:45,720 --> 00:41:48,288 at a brick-and-mortar franchise store is 820 00:41:48,331 --> 00:41:49,985 a fucking pipe dream. 821 00:41:50,029 --> 00:41:51,683 Who the fuck are we kidding here, 822 00:41:51,726 --> 00:41:57,123 given our fiduciary situation. 823 00:41:57,166 --> 00:41:59,517 But it's imprudent to bypass opportunities 824 00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:01,736 to allay our leftover hard-cost stock items 825 00:42:01,780 --> 00:42:04,609 such as frames, lenses, and eyeglass stands 826 00:42:04,652 --> 00:42:08,047 at franchise mixers and various franchise symposiums 827 00:42:08,090 --> 00:42:10,963 where franchise owners can barter, negotiate, 828 00:42:11,006 --> 00:42:13,531 or just do a fellow LensCrafters franchise owner 829 00:42:13,574 --> 00:42:15,271 a fucking solid. 830 00:42:15,315 --> 00:42:16,838 So, yeah, I dropped in there. 831 00:42:16,882 --> 00:42:18,274 In Mexico. 832 00:42:18,318 --> 00:42:19,711 While there. 833 00:42:19,754 --> 00:42:21,669 Hoping... 834 00:42:21,713 --> 00:42:24,150 Hoping I could sell some reserve stock 835 00:42:24,193 --> 00:42:25,978 and lessen the loss of the investment 836 00:42:26,021 --> 00:42:28,110 my elderly father, Kevin, and mother, Denise, 837 00:42:28,154 --> 00:42:30,417 made in LensCrafters and in me. 838 00:42:30,460 --> 00:42:34,073 839 00:42:34,116 --> 00:42:35,901 No takers. 840 00:42:35,944 --> 00:42:40,470 841 00:42:40,514 --> 00:42:42,124 So, at the end of their lives, 842 00:42:42,168 --> 00:42:44,474 what my parents lost by investing in me 843 00:42:44,518 --> 00:42:46,868 was entire and full. 844 00:42:46,912 --> 00:42:48,478 It was complete. 845 00:42:48,522 --> 00:42:55,268 846 00:42:55,311 --> 00:42:58,184 Now I'll just take a bath on this shit, 847 00:42:58,227 --> 00:43:00,578 'cause I need some fucking money for a gun 848 00:43:00,621 --> 00:43:04,669 so I can pay a fateful visit to So-Called James. 849 00:43:04,712 --> 00:43:07,889 850 00:43:07,933 --> 00:43:09,369 Where's young Glenn? 851 00:43:09,412 --> 00:43:12,590 Young Glenn is sleeping. 852 00:43:12,633 --> 00:43:14,243 In the back? 853 00:43:14,287 --> 00:43:15,810 At home. 854 00:43:15,854 --> 00:43:17,856 How can I help you? 855 00:43:17,899 --> 00:43:19,553 I got glasses. 856 00:43:19,597 --> 00:43:21,816 Cases and cases of eyewear. 857 00:43:21,860 --> 00:43:24,036 Like, here. 858 00:43:24,079 --> 00:43:26,386 Cases and cases. 859 00:43:26,429 --> 00:43:29,345 [ Sighs ] 860 00:43:29,389 --> 00:43:31,565 You're gonna take a bath on these, man. 861 00:43:31,609 --> 00:43:34,089 I'm not a wholesaler. I'm a Mom-and-Pop. 862 00:43:34,133 --> 00:43:36,614 But my wife -- 863 00:43:36,657 --> 00:43:39,660 my wife left us, so I'm just a Pop. 864 00:43:39,704 --> 00:43:43,272 Just a Pop store, bud, so I can't do you right, here. 865 00:43:43,316 --> 00:43:44,622 This is a lot of stock. 866 00:43:44,665 --> 00:43:47,233 Well, I need the money for something. 867 00:43:47,276 --> 00:43:49,670 You own a pawn shop. You know the story. 868 00:43:49,714 --> 00:43:51,672 What do you need? We have a lot of stock. 869 00:43:51,716 --> 00:43:53,935 Maybe I can make you a deal on something. 870 00:43:53,979 --> 00:43:55,894 You don't stock it. 871 00:43:55,937 --> 00:43:59,898 You don't stock what Ineed. 872 00:43:59,941 --> 00:44:01,682 Well, okay. 873 00:44:01,726 --> 00:44:03,902 How many boxes of eyewear? 874 00:44:03,945 --> 00:44:06,034 72. 875 00:44:06,078 --> 00:44:07,949 I'll give you $2,000, all in. 876 00:44:07,993 --> 00:44:10,778 That'll cover it. 877 00:44:10,822 --> 00:44:12,562 [ Clears throat ] 878 00:44:12,606 --> 00:44:14,042 [ Pen clicks ] 879 00:44:14,086 --> 00:44:15,478 Hey. 880 00:44:15,522 --> 00:44:18,003 Yeah? 881 00:44:18,046 --> 00:44:20,266 You got a good kid. 882 00:44:20,309 --> 00:44:23,399 Your kid. 883 00:44:23,443 --> 00:44:25,445 I know him a little. 884 00:44:25,488 --> 00:44:29,014 I wanted you to know that. 885 00:44:29,057 --> 00:44:31,103 Glenn? 886 00:44:31,146 --> 00:44:33,714 Glenn's a good kid. 887 00:44:33,758 --> 00:44:36,717 He is, yeah. 888 00:44:36,761 --> 00:44:37,979 You sure you want 889 00:44:38,023 --> 00:44:39,720 to follow through on this transaction? 890 00:44:39,764 --> 00:44:41,853 Yeah, I am. 891 00:44:44,856 --> 00:44:47,249 Glenn works here? 892 00:44:47,293 --> 00:44:48,729 Sometimes. 893 00:44:48,773 --> 00:44:50,731 Most of the time. 894 00:44:50,775 --> 00:44:51,819 Seems like. 895 00:44:51,863 --> 00:44:53,821 [ Register dings ] 896 00:44:53,865 --> 00:44:55,910 So, it's a... 897 00:44:55,954 --> 00:44:59,479 more of a Kid and Pop store, really. 898 00:44:59,522 --> 00:45:02,656 But no one ever says that, 'cause no one really sees that 899 00:45:02,700 --> 00:45:06,312 'cause kids don't really do that that -- that much. 900 00:45:06,355 --> 00:45:07,835 Right? 901 00:45:10,751 --> 00:45:12,666 [ Register door closes ] 902 00:45:18,803 --> 00:45:20,282 Here's your money. 903 00:45:24,591 --> 00:45:32,730 904 00:45:32,773 --> 00:45:42,783 905 00:45:42,827 --> 00:45:45,743 906 00:46:02,847 --> 00:46:06,111 907 00:46:22,867 --> 00:46:26,522 908 00:46:37,620 --> 00:46:44,802 57934

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