Original subtitles

I hear her.

Surprise!

-Nice going, ace. -It sounded Iike her waIk.

-What's this horror show? -It's a bridaI shower for Shayna.

-You can get in on it if you want to. -Yeah, right.

Yetta, any chicken Ieft from Iast night?

I'II make you a sandwich.

Make it to go.

Is Shayna coming or what?

I'm going to be back in Nevada in three or four weeks for that eIectronics show.

I want to see you again.

I'm not going to be here. Today's my Iast day.

You going to the BunnyRanch or something?

No, I'm retiring.

Shoot.

There you go, man.

Listen, the next time you come back here to party...

ask for Kim or TayIor, and they'II take great care of you.

Why don't you go check out one of our souvenir T-shirts?

-Okay, maybe I wiII. -Take care of yourseIf.

You, too.

-Shayna. -Yeah.

Kim's been Iooking for you.

-She in her room? -Kitchen, I think.

Thanks.

Now, that's nice.

-Hey, guys. -Shayna!

-Oh, shoot! -What's going on?

-Surprise. -Surprise!

Over there. PuII down that screen.

SmiIe.

You can keep Iooking, you ain't gonna find buried treasure down there.

Are you sure we haven't met before? You Iook so darn famiIiar.

I'm sure.

Coming back from a break?

No.

Just starting, then?

If you need someone to practice on....

I crack myseIf up.

Just dry a few minutes.

Now. What do you say?

Cotton Candy or Red Vine Red?

-Do you have cIear? -Sure.

CIear? Whose kid are you?

Red is boId, babycakes.

It says ''Look here.'' And we'II match.

-Daddy wiII hate it. -Even better.

Mom.

She doesn't Iike it when I antagonize her father.

EspeciaIIy since he's recovering from a very deIicate operation.

What?

They tried to remove the stick up his ass but they couIdn't get it out.

I'm gonna go wait in the car.

-Where do you think you're going? -Away from you.

CheIsea, it was a joke.

You say mean stuff about him, and in an hour you're gonna drop me off...

and I have to Iive there for the next three weeks.

I know. I'm sorry. PIease, just.... I promise I'II behave. Come on.

Look, you get whatever coIor you want.

You want cIear, that's fine. It's great.

Red, pIease.

Other David thought you girIs might need refiIIs.

ExceIIent!

No, Mary, wait. Stay. Have a piece of cake. Yetta?

-Coming right up. -Okay, thanks.

And, you guys, thank you so much. This was so sweet.

I'm sorry I can't invite everyone to the wedding...

but we kept the guest Iist reaIIy tiny.

ActuaIIy, I wanted to eIope, but Evan's reaIIy cIose with his famiIy.

So basicaIIy, anybody who's reIated to Mr. WonderfuI...

peopIe you probabIy don't even know, ''Hey, right this way.''

But us, who you worked with for how many years?

''No, I'm getting married, I'm not going to be a hooker anymore, forget them.''

Em, shut up.

So, how did you two meet, you know, you and Evan?

-Right, you weren't here yet, were you? -No.

ActuaIIy, it was at the x-ray machine at the Reno airport.

I was going to San Diego on my week off, and he was going home to Detroit.

I toId him I was a stewardess. FIight attendant.

And he stiII thinks that.

Three weeks on, one week off.

Company, girIs.

-Bye, Shayna. -Bye.

Come on. One Iast Iineup for the road?

No.

I'II miss you.

Hi, weIcome to the Diamond Ranch. We've some beautifuI girIs for you today.

Come on in.

Right this way.

Why don't you sit down on the couch?

ChickIet.

EmiIy.

I'm Janey.

Kim.

Rickie Lee.

Hi, I'm Lavender Rose.

Cat.

Her. I'II take her.

AII right, then. Rickie Lee. Thank you, girIs.

Hey, daddy. Let's party.

Another satisfied pedophiIe.

I'm so excited you picked me.

$32.

-Keep the change. -Thank you.

-You want me to heIp you in? -I got it.

Are you sure I don't know you?

You don't.

Hi. Can I heIp you?

I don't know. Can you?

-Hi, Dad. -Hey, sweetie.

I thought you were bringing her home before Iunch.

It's my fauIt. I Iost track of time.

For someone who gets paid by the hour, you'd think you'd be more attuned to that.

Come here, you.

I wiII taIk to you Iater.

You have fun at the party tomorrow.

Wish EIizabeth happy birthday for me.

I wiII. Love you.

Love you more.

Wait a sec.

Go on inside.

Yeah, the naiIs? That was me, too.

What's next, a G-string?

Do you want to know the smartest thing I ever did?

Not marry you.

I forgot.

I don't need it.

Fortune magazine said house painters are in the top two percentiIe of earnings.

Were you aIways such a witch or is this new?

It's chiId support. Just take it.

I'd just as soon not go to Macy's, buy her a coat...

pay for it with the money you made giving some Ioser a good time.

Do you not understand that what I do I do for her?

PIease.

I want our kid to have every singIe thing I didn't have.

I want her to have a new coat every year...

and piano Iessons, and I don't know, a freaking horse if she wants one.

When it comes to coIIege, I want to be abIe to say:

''Here, baby girI, you go wherever you want.''

You know what? Let her go to community coIIege...

and have a mother who's a mother, not a prostitute.

You are such a cIueIess bIowhard.

Nice car. Is it new?

Who'd you say you're in this for?

''Cookies and miIk.''

''AII day sucker.'' What's that?

Guess.

So, what do you feeI Iike?

Is $150....

Is that about right?

Is that aII you think I'm worth?

So that's VeIvet....

Knight, with a ''k.''

You know, I had a cat named VeIvet once.

Lady, whose kitty are we taIking about, mine or yours?

Do me a favor. Save that kind of Ianguage for the cIients.

You don't Iike it so much, what're you doing being a madam anyways?

Manager.

Whatever.

The truth? It was the best-paying job I couId find.

Yeah. Same here.

$400. HaIf and haIf.

-$400 for a BJ and a straight Iay? -Yeah.

-That's a Iot. -Not for me.

-Here you go. -Thanks.

So you know what a ''haIf and haIf'' is? I guess you've worked before.

Not in Nevada. In LA. Last coupIe of years.

Time for a change of scenery, you know? Here's this aII.

You peopIe are strict here. Licenses, checkups every week.

Man!

Let me teII you how it goes here.

The girIs are on for three weeks, working 10 to 1 2-hour shifts every day.

Then they're off for a week.

Sometimes, we have girIs who just work weekends...

and the house gets haIf of everything you make.

Sounds aII right.

I'm sorry.

Is it possibIe that we've met before?

Because you Iook awfuIIy famiIiar.

Yo Brooklyn, that TV show bunch of years back?

Vonetta Knight, of course. You pIay the sister.

Yep.

My son and I watch the reruns on NickeIodeon.

Let me ask you something.

That Rashad? PIayed my IittIe brother on the show.

How oId you think he was when I was on it? How oId?

-Thirteen? Fourteen? -Nineteen.

Nineteen years oId, aImost twenty.

But his arrogant daddylmanager wants everybody to think he's some kid.

So one day, me and Rashad are getting on in the dressing room...

daddy waIks in, oId man just about has a stroke.

Next week, the script comes out and my character's dead in a car wreck.

I got them the highest rating ever, those moron Iosers!

Excuse me.

So why did you stop? You were good.

'Cause daddy goes round town...

teIIing everybody I'm some piece of garbage.

Job ends and suddenIy I can't get arrested...

except on HoIIywood BouIevard, but that's another story.

Anyhow, those charges didn't stick.

I'm sorry that happened to you.

Yeah, weII.

Look, here's what.

End of every show...

we'd aII come out and the audience wouId give us a standing ovation.

It didn't matter, every singIe week, standing ''O.''

And when I'm with a john and I do my sex thing, I watch him.

I watch him get happy.

His thing is standing straight up because of me.

So. You got room for me?

-You want this? -You don't?

I'm Iucky to be getting away with fIight attendant.

I don't think he'II buy Iion tamer on top of that.

You going to teII him ever?

Why wouId I?

It's who you are.

It's who I was.

You must have some on-off switch somewhere that I never saw.

Where's it, on your butt?

No, wait, I've seen your butt.

Yeah, and so has haIf the popuIation of Nevada.

And I don't think my fiance needs to know that.

But aren't you gonna wonder how he wouId feeI if he knew?

Yeah, I'm going to wonder.

You know what eIse I'm going to do?

I'm gonna keep my big mouth shut.

The past is the past, Tay...

and this is my future.

Okay...

but if I faII in Iove again someday, God forbid...

and the guy gives me attitude 'cause this is how I make my Iiving...

forget that. That's a deaI breaker.

I better get in on this Iineup.

You are going to make a beautifuI bride.

Come back and visit us once in a whiIe, wiII you?

ProbabIy not.

You know where the pIates are?

That one on the right.

Thanks.

So Mary Iet you stay?

Yeah.

I'm VeIvet.

Good for you.

So what do you think of this pIace?

Everybody eIse seems nice.

Bunch of jerks.

What? I'm not here to make friends. I'm here to make money.

Figure another year or two, I got enough cash, I'm out of here.

What are you gonna do?

Get out of this rat's nest of a city.

Get a house somewhere. A house-house, not a whorehouse.

Get a foster kid, maybe. Two more years. Three, at the most.

You do pretty good then?

I do something great.

Oh, and by the way, cupcake...

you want to keep yourseIf away from my reguIars, you got it?

Don't you worry.

Anything that goes into you, I don't want going into me.

Then we'II get aIong just fine.

-You're here! -I know.

FinaIIy. I can't beIieve it.

I know. I missed you so much.

So you stiII want to marry me, or have you gotten over that siIIy idea?

You bet.

Let's go get my bags.

Wait. Isn't there anybody you need to say goodbye to?

Any of the crew? The other stewardesses?

No, aII I want to do is get to the hoteI and....

That couId work.

What you got there?

That's what you read for fun?

I got to ask you. Who do I taIk to about cIean sheets?

Franny takes care of aII the Iaundry.

But don't Iet the guys under the sheets or you'II be changing them aII day.

Use one of those toweIs in your cIoset, trick toweIs.

That was your first john just now, wasn't it? How'd that go?

Guy teIIs me he wants to do it Iike a dog.

I figure he means doggy styIe.

He breaks out a coIIar, a Ieash, I end up scratching him behind the ears...

and rubbing him on his beIIy tiII he goes off.

-What the heII is that? -Wait tiII you get a fuII-out costume.

God, that fur wiII itch. It drives you crazy.

You know, in LA...

you get in the back of a dude's car, you get him off, that's pretty much that.

TayIor, there's a customer asking for you. He said BicycIe Jimmy sent him.

Thanks. Later.

Man, another crummy day in the desert.

You need sunscreen.

Here, Iet me do it.

You're not going to try and cop a feeI, are you?

How's that?

I'm sorry my mother made such a big deaI about you staying at the house.

She's oId-fashioned, is aII.

She doesn't beIieve in sex before marriage.

I don't even think she beIieves in sex during marriage.

Want me to teII her what she's missing?

-Wait a sec. -We have time.

My sister's fIight doesn't get in for another hour.

ProbabIy be Iate, anyway.

What's wrong?

There's...

something we have to taIk about.

Oh, God.

What? It's not bad.

I mean, it's bad, but it's not....

Nobody's dead or anything.

I got Iaid off.

-When? -About two weeks ago.

The whoIe midsize Iine, they're not making them anymore.

Sedans and station wagons. Just Iike that.

-Losers. -Oh, honey.

Every time we taIked on the phone, I wanted to teII you.

I hated Iying when you'd ask me how work was.

But I thought it'd be better in person.

-Are you peeved? -No.

It's not your fauIt.

Anyway, I was thinking, tiII I find something...

maybe you can transfer out here.

I don't think I couId transfer that easy.

Because things Iike that take a Iot of time to come through.

Shoot.

CouId you get your oId route back? WhiIe I'm Iooking?

I don't know.

-I'm sorry to dump this on you. -No, it's fine.

I'm gonna go take a shower.

You're not feeIing Iike this changes everything, are you, hon?

No.

So, the owner of this pIace?

He's some kind of sIick, rich, White pimp wannabe?

What'd I say?

The owner is my uncIe.

-Sorry. -Don't worry about it.

But for the record, no, he isn't one of those.

His uncIe is named David. That's why he's the Other David.

The boss is okay.

You got to keep booking or you're out, that's for sure.

But they take pretty good care of us.

Other David takes especiaIIy good care of us.

Hint, hint.

Seven in the side pocket, baby.

It's sure shot.

There's no way those guys are partying.

But you know, when they're humping their piIIows tonight...

they'II be picturing you and me.

Am I right, Austin?

Guess so.

Hey, Austin, this is VeIvet. She's new.

Maybe you'II try her out soon.

How's it hanging?

Good. It's good.

He comes in every day, nurses one beer for hours...

then once every two weeks, on payday, he parties.

You can teII it's payday when his hair's cIean.

Good to know.

Excuse me.

Mary, are you kidding me? I'm in the middIe of something here.

Your daughter's on the phone. She's crying. Says it's urgent.

Something about her dad won't Iet her go to a party.

Shoot.

-Give me 30 seconds. -Okay.

Where do you go to schooI?

CoIorado State. Same as my sister did.

She's the brains in our famiIy.

Your mother won't Iet me heIp her do anything.

You know, I was thinking about you the other afternoon.

I was watching one of those heaIth channeIs on the cabIe...

and they did a whoIe show about jet Iag.

You ever have any troubIe with that, aII that fIying around?

It bothered me at first, yeah.

But you get used to it.

You must meet so many interesting peopIe with a job Iike that.

I did, yeah.

AthIetes. Actors. A coupIe of poIiticians.

-Look what we got. -Here, Iet me get that.

There's tuna saIad, egg saIad, and some turkey.

Guy I work with, his daughter is a stewardess.

Manny's kid.

I remember her. TaII, Iong bIack hair.

-Tramp. -Nice, Ma.

I'm onIy saying what's true. The girI sIept her way across the country.

Maybe it was the jet Iag.

We need more Iemonade.

Where's your brother?

He's upstairs, I think.

Tommy. We're eating. Come on down.

Sorry. I was just getting things set for Iater.

Shayna, you don't mind, do you?

Me and the guys kidnapping Evan for the night?

No, who am I to get in the way of a good bacheIor party?

Just so you know, we're skipping the whoIe strip cIub thing.

-I shouId hope so. -Kidding me?

You couId get a disease just Iooking at some of those skanks.

Sorry, Ma.

Not that either of us wouId know about this firsthand.

Thank goodness for smaII favors.

Eat.

Thanks, Ma.

-I'II see you both tomorrow. -See you tomorrow.

And get some sIeep tonight.

-That was a boatIoad of fun. -What?

Oh, good. I thought you'd gone into a coma there.

It's the day before her wedding. She's just a IittIe tense.

You are.

Thank you.

Why are you marrying me?

What?

Why do you Iove me?

Let me see. Because you're hot?

I'm kidding. I mean, you are, but that's not....

I have this uncIe.

UncIe Lou, he's quite a character. You'II meet him tomorrow.

Whenever he taIks about a woman he reaIIy Iikes...

he caIIs her a good girI.

''That Audrey Hepburn, she's a good girI.''

Anyway, after that first weekend you and I spent together...

I caIIed him up and I said:

''I finaIIy understand what you're taIking about UncIe Lou.

''I met a good girI.''

I'm so gIad CheIsea made it.

EIizabeth wouId have been crushed if she wasn't here.

I'm sorry we're so Iate. There was a mix-up with CheIsea's dad.

So nice to meet you finaIIy.

Yeah, you, too.

-What time do you want me to pick her up? -No, stay. PIease.

-I can't. -At Ieast have a cup of coffee.

-Okay. -Come on.

Everybody, this is CheIsea's mom.

-Sorry, I don't know your first name. -TayIor.

We were beginning to think you didn't reaIIy exist.

This is me.

-I'm GaiI, MeIody's mom. -Hi.

That's Inez and Patty. Inez is Brittany's mom, and Patty's got the twins.

-How's it going? -Good.

Found it.

Hon, this is TayIor.

-Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you, too.

I shouId get this out to the karaoke machine. Excuse me.

Thanks.

-Can I ask you a question, TayIor? -Yeah.

I mean, it's none of my business and it's probabIy not even true...

but did I hear correctIy that you work at the Diamond Ranch?

For God's sake.

No, it's okay. That is where I work.

As a....

As a what?

A prostitute?

What do you do, Inez?

I teach yoga.

-You charge by the hour? -Yeah.

The more cIients, the more money you make?

-That's very cute. -I wasn't trying to be. It's the same concept.

ProbabIy some of the same positions, now that I think about it.

WouId you excuse me, pIease?

AppIe doesn't faII far from the tree, apparentIy.

I'll say it again

I ain't got a $20 gold piece

There ain't nothing I can't do!

I can make a dress out of a feedbag And I can make a man out of you

'Cause I'm a woman

W-O-M-A-N

It's nothing. They're kids.

She probabIy doesn't even know what she's even singing about.

Yeah.

Feed the baby, grease the car And powder my face at the same time

Listen...

thanks for not busting me back there.

I wouId never do that.

Rory wouId die if she knew.

Yep.

I can stiII come and see you, though, can't I?

I'II be back to pick up CheIsea in about an hour.

Woman

A W-O-M-A-N

I'll say it again

-Dude, come on. -I'm tying my shoe, give me a break.

What the heck for? It's gonna be off in, Iike, a minute.

Go for it. It'II put some hair on your chest.

What's to think about? Take the gorgeous one.

Give me a minute.

It's a birthday present from me to him.

And you know what a good brother I am? I'm not even having one of them myseIf.

I onIy saved up enough money for him to.

Very nice of you.

I'II take her. Jean jacket.

AII right, then, EmiIy. Thank you, girIs.

I'II be waiting at the bar, bro. Knock yourseIf out.

-Mary, your son's here. -ReaIIy?

Hi, sweetie. What are you doing here? Is everything aII right?

I don't know where my house key is. I think I Iost it at the park.

I'II go get mine. Be right back.

So...

what are you thinking you might Iike?

I don't want to do this.

Are you not very experienced, Scotty, is that it?

It's aII right. I'II teach you.

Learn on me.

-Baby, are you a virgin? -No.

Are you gay?

-Forget you! -Hey, any time you're ready.

I didn't hear a yes or a no.

Yes.

You having a IittIe chat with yourseIf?

Yes, okay? Yes, I'm a fIamer. There, I said it, you happy now?

So what's the deaI, your brother doesn't know?

It's none of his business.

-That's fair. -No, wait, I'II pay you for this, okay?

Just Iet me stay in here tiII it's been Iong enough time.

What's the deaI?

It's not the worst Iie I've ever been part of. Not by a Iong shot.

You do use condoms, right? When you're with a guy?

Yes.

-Every time? -Yes.

Just making sure.

And a coupIe of these.

That's $27 even.

-Can I get a beer? -Yeah, sure.

Thought I'd get the kid a coupIe of souvenirs.

Not that he's ever gonna forget this, right?

That'II be $4.

Thanks, bud.

Scotty's probabIy doing that chick pretty good by now.

ProbabIy.

Diamond Ranch.

Yeah, hoId just a sec.

Austin, it's for you.

HeIIo.

What?

Jeez, what's with the sirens?

You want me to get you a beer? You want me to put some music on?

I'm okay.

You pIay guitar?

I aIways meant to Iearn how.

I had a boyfriend in a band. I used to go on tour.

-Sing backup sometimes. -CooI.

I had this fantasy that somebody wouId discover me.

''Who's that babe in the back?''

I guess when you're drunk out of your mind...

most of the time you're not such a hot investment.

I guess not.

I'm named for a song.

-Not reaIIy, but what I use for work. -How come?

Because some of us don't use our reaI names.

Anyhow, I picked EmiIy.

It's from this record my sister wouId Iisten to when I was a kid.

I don't know that song.

Emily

You're the natural snow

The unstudied sea

You're a cameo

-Keep going. -No.

-That was pretty. -Thanks.

My uncIe, my mom's brother...

he produces shows at the HiIton in Reno. They're aIways Iooking for singers.

I couId give him your tape. Do you have one?

SomepIace. Listen, you don't have to do me any favors or anything.

-I'm not going to rat you out to your brother. -That's not why I said it.

Okay.

Peter, wait.

Damn it, TayIor, I knew it. She's in there?

-Yes, she is. -Let go.

Wait, don't go and embarrass her in front of her friends.

She's not even supposed to be at that party. I toId her.

She taIked back to you one time, big freaking deaI.

-Don't you teII me how to raise my daughter. -Whoa.

-Our daughter. -My daughter, three out of every four weeks.

Or has that fact convenientIy escaped your mind?

No. Look, I appreciate how you take care of her.

You appreciate it? What am I, the baby-sitter?

Did I say that?

I was trying to teach her something. And you just swooped right in.

-Just a reguIar Mary Poppins. -Hey, paI, I'm not the baby-sitter, either.

And what was so important that you couIdn't Iet her go to a stupid party?

-You want to know? -Yeah, I want to know.

Every day she gets more and more Iike you. And that scares the heck out of me.

So you can go.

I'II wait for her out here.

I won't embarrass her. I won't punish her.

Go.

There you are. You hiding back here?

Yeah, kind of. What's up?

I'm supposed to Iet you know that Mister Mits is here...

and he can't wait to see you.

His words, not mine.

Lucky me.

But he does pay me a fortune.

And aII I have to do is Iet him snort a IittIe coke off my boobs.

Hey, I don't need the detaiIs.

Sorry. Sometimes I forget you're not one of the girIs.

-Thanks. -You know what I mean.

-Hey, did you hear about Austin? -No, what?

His house burned down, eIectricaI fire. He Iost everything.

Shoot.

''And at that moment my Iove juices expIoded into her...

''and I Iet out a Ioud moan of compIete and utter ecstasy.

''And I have to say I'm pretty sure...

''she enjoyed it as much as I did.''

Every one of them writes that. BIess them, if they onIy knew.

Yetta, can I get a bowI of soup with some poison pIease?

-Rough day? -Kind of, yeah.

-What're you up to? -Reading my reviews.

The brotheI website?

Can I ask you a favor? This is just, you know, for pIay.

-Can you heIp me type a resume? -Come on, first Shayna, now you?

No. I'm not going anywhere. It's just to see, hypotheticaIIy...

what eIse I might be quaIified for.

If you Ieave, I'II hunt you down and kiII you.

I'II keep that in mind.

Okay, I've never done one of these. I guess you put down your education first.

-Did you go to coIIege at aII? -Not me, I never even finished high schooI.

Let's skip that part then.

What do you think wouId be your best quaIifications?

ProfessionaIIy speaking.

I give exceIIent BJs.

-SkiIIed at oraI presentations. -I Iike that.

-ExceptionaI manuaI dexterity. -Keen negotiator.

-Works weII in group situations. -Leaving out the words ''orgy room.''

-FIexibIe. StimuIating. -You're good.

WouId 69 be considered muItitasking?

I don't see why not.

-What's up? -Nothing much.

Anybody in the mood for a threesome? I got a Iive one with deep pockets.

You take it. WouId you mind Ieaving this here?

No, turn it off when you're done.

Another ebony-and-ivory fantasy.

I'm down with that.

Joke.

-Get you another rum and Coke? -Thanks.

So what kind of Iadies you got working here?

I'm thinking I might Iike to party.

Do you want me to caII a Iineup?

No. I'd feeI bad for the ones I didn't pick.

They're used to it. It's part of the job.

-So what's your type? -FemaIe and breathing.

You might want to be a IittIe more specific.

WeII, between you and me, I reaIIy Iike the coIored girIs.

The bIacker the better. And taII. Give me a set of Iong dark Iegs...

and I'm a happy man.

You're in Iuck. We've got a girI just Iike that, started this week.

VeIvet.

I Iike her aIready. Is she on tonight?

Yeah, she shouId be out any minute.

Let me ask you, though, what's it gonna cost me to party with this VeIvet?

I don't know. That's between you and her.

Hey, VeIvet, want to come here a minute?

-Hey, what's going on? -I've got a guy who'd Iike to meet you.

-Hi. -CarIos.

You thought you'd get away from me?

What do you think you're doing?

Why, you didn't think I was going to find out?

You didn't think my other girIs were going to give you up?

-I'm sorry. -I wiII reaIIy kiII you.

You don't even think about it.

Come on.

Leave her aIone.

-Lady, what, are you serious? -I mean it, Iet go of her.

You totaIIy crazy!

Leave her aIone and get out of here. Now!

Are you okay?

I shouId have known this guy was up to something.

How couId you have?

This is stiII bIeeding.

It's deep, but I don't think you'II need stitches.

Good.

Let me in there one more time.

I've got some Percocets in my room if you need them.

I think aspirin wiII be fine, thank you.

Okay, there.

What was that?

Must have been the Ioss of bIood.

No, seriousIy.

SeriousIy, I have wanted to do that since...

-weII, how Iong have you worked here? -Three years.

Then 2 years, 1 1 months, and 29 days.

What was wrong with me the first day?

Here you go.

-CoId. -Ice does that.

-Does it hurt? -Yeah.

-Damn. -He was your pimp?

A punk rat from the first day I met him.

Keep that on here.

Thanks for keeping me company.

I know I'm probabIy not the most popuIar person now.

WeII, it's funny. I feeI Iike I know you.

I guess because I used to watch you on your show.

Not because we both just did the same guy together?

No, I think it was the show.

I aIways thought it was funnier if I had a IittIe bit of a buzz on.

Yeah, me, too.

-You ever have a pimp? -No, I didn't need one.

This is a famiIy business for me.

-So, you're reIated to that David guy? -No.

My grandmother worked at the Mustang Ranch back when it first opened.

My mom stiII puts in a coupIe days a month over at the BunnyRanch.

So me doing this was pretty much a given.

Even with you being gay?

He paid me to kiss you.

I don't mean that stuff before, I mean you with that EmiIy.

-I see you Iooking at her aII moony-eyed. -Can we drop this?

I don't get it.

You can't say, maybe you Iike a girI.

She doesn't know.

PIease don't teII anyone.

I won't.

-Don't get too drunk, okay? -Don't worry. Anyway, Tommy's driving.

Speaking of which, I toId the Iimo driver to pick you two up at the hoteI at noon.

-Have fun. -Good night.

He is such a nice guy.

Yeah, I guess opposites do attract.

So what do you want to do?

Go back to the room and watch pay-per-view? Get a massage?

Beth Ann?

I need to taIk to you for a minute.

This probabIy isn't fair to do to you, but I just....

I need to say this out Ioud to somebody.

What is it?

Remember Lindsay? She was my roommate in coIIege, junior year?

Crazy Lindsay, yeah, what about her?

She worked in a brotheI every weekend in Nevada.

-A whorehouse? -Yeah.

What does this have to do with you?

One time, Super BowI weekend, she knows it's going to be busy after the game...

and she says I can go with her.

No. You didn't.

WeII, this was after Teddy had broken up with me.

And you know what a hard time I was having with that. I just needed somebody...

to make me feeI Iike I was worth being with.

I made $2,000 in, Iike, a day and a haIf.

And I was practicaIIy faiIing my cIasses anyway...

because you're the smart one.

I never finished coIIege.

And I was never a fIight attendant.

-Come on. -Beth Ann, I know this has to be--

-This isn't funny. -It's true.

-Stop it! -PIease. I didn't pIan this.

-This is just how it worked out. -You're a prostitute?

I was, but I was going to quit.

-How many guys? -I don't know.

-Like hundreds? -ProbabIy.

-I feeI nauseous. -PIease, don't throw up.

-I can handIe aImost anything but that. -No, I need to get out of here.

-Sweetie, are you okay? -Don't!

I don't know where to put this in my brain.

Every day, Mommy used to caII the airIine to see when your pIane got in.

Even when she was sick, even when she was dying, she made me promise...

-to check if your fIights Ianded okay. -I'm sorry.

-I wanted to teII you so many times. -Why didn't you?

-Evan doesn't know, does he? -No.

-You have to teII him. -I can't.

He's marrying you.

It's Iike you said, he is a nice guy. Why do this to him?

And, my God, you saw his famiIy.

His mother thinks if you're a stewardess you're a tramp.

She wouId die if he toId her.

I have a chance to be happy.

This isn't onIy about you.

-Beth Ann, I need you, don't-- -You're disgusting.

I hope nobody sees us.

I remember when I started here, they said that they discourage....

What do they caII it?

''Intra-house fraternizing.''

Yeah, I guess ''don't spit where you eat'' didn't sound cIassy enough.

WeII, I wouIdn't worry about it. I kind of got an in with the management.

You're so pretty.

-How many of those have you had there? -I mean it, you are.

-You know what you taste Iike? -What?

MiIIer Lite.

Hey, did you know that if a guy drinks a beer...

and then sIeeps with a girI, he can give her a yeast infection?

TayIor toId me that.

-Em. -What?

-Don't. -Don't what?

It's not a work night.

-In other words, don't be such a whore. -I didn't say that.

I know.

I know you didn't.

I don't know why I thought we couId do this.

Come on, no, I didn't mean anything.

What, we're going to date...

and then you're going to watch me take other guys to my room aII night?

I'm going to say, ''I need a Long IsIand Iced Tea for my john back there''...

and that's going to be okay?

I don't know. Yeah. I'II make it be okay.

How the heII are you going to do that?

-I couIdn't do that. -I don't know. But I wiII.

EmiIy, I'm crazy about you. I want to make this work.

You know what?

You are one of the sweetest, kindest men I've ever met.

And, baby...

you deserve a whoIe Iot better than for your girIfriend to be me.

Busted.

Can I taIk to you?

Yeah, come on in.

-Did I wake you up? -No, I couIdn't faII asIeep.

I'm reaIIy sorry. I didn't think he'd find me. At Ieast, not so quick.

I'II pay for that Iamp, the one you shot.

I bet that's the first time you ever heard that.

How's your Iip?

Better.

Lucky we working girIs got that ruIe about no kissing the customers because....

Did he hurt you? Before, when you were together?

AII the time.

You sharing?

Yeah, I'II get you a gIass.

PIease don't fire me.

I know that's what you must be thinking right now.

-PIease. -I don't know, VeIvet.

It might not be safe for you to stay.

Safer than me being out on the streets with him Iooking for me.

I mean, for everybody eIse.

Look, you can spend the night on the couch.

-Mom. -Honey.

-I heard taIking. -Everything's okay.

Ray, this is VeIvet.

Hey, Ray.

Do me a favor. Get piIIows and a bIanket from the cIoset.

-Why? She's sIeeping here? -Tonight.

-What, is this a whorehouse now, too? -Just do what I asked you to do.

Go on.

It'II be more comfortabIe with the piIIows off.

Em, you going to the doctor?

-I'm sorry, what? -The doctor.

-The vans are Ieaving in a IittIe bit. -AII right.

Shayna's getting married today. CoupIe of hours.

I know. I was just thinking about her.

Did you and Other David have an okay time Iast night?

It's not going to be anything. I thought it wouId be, but....

How do you do this job and have a boyfriend or a husband?

Do you have to make up some stupid story Iike Shayna did, is that the onIy way?

No, I don't think so.

Maybe you'II find somebody who gets it.

Who understands this, you know...

and who Ioves you for who you are.

The whoIe package.

Yeah, where the heII am I going to find that?

Beth Ann?

-I heIp to you? -Yeah, thanks.

CouId I ask you a question? Because I need an objective opinion.

I'm getting married today, apparentIy.

There's something he doesn't know about me. And it's something big.

And some peopIe might think I don't deserve to marry him.

But I'm not a horribIe person, I'm not.

And, you know, peopIe keep secrets aII the time, right?

What do you think I shouId do?

That's fine.

Thanks.

Good, Boris is here. I couId use more Ieather armbands.

-Let me get some cash, I'II meet you. -Okay.

Tay, you coming?

-Not right now. -Okay.

I feIt funny waiting inside. They said you'd be back soon.

-Do you have a few minutes? -Yeah.

Kim, you got a second?

VeIvet's Iooking for you. She wants to say goodbye.

-What's she saying goodbye for? -Why do you think?

-Where's Mary? -Kitchen.

-What are the odds he'II come back here? -ProbabIy very high.

Okay, so we caII the sheriff. She's a TV star, it'II be good for business.

Kim, she got fired after one season on a sitcom.

You know, it's not exactIy Iike HaIIe Berry showed up and asked for a job.

HaIIe Berry showed up and asked for a job?

Yeah, she did, and I toId her she couId have your room.

-I thought you were coming right out. -Mary's firing VeIvet.

Come on, Mom, can't she stay and pIay with us? Can't she, pIease?

I'm supposed to keep this pIace safe for you.

Besides, how wouId I expIain this to David?

Don't teII him about it, that's how.

You don't think Other David caIIed him as soon as he got out of here Iast night?

I can pretty much guarantee you that didn't happen.

I'II see you out there.

Think about this. VeIvet had this Iife that was happy...

she was doing her show, everything was working out for her...

and then aII of a sudden, that's over with and she's aIone.

Do you have any idea how horribIe that must feeI?

You mean Iike when my husband died...

and he Ieft me and Ray aII aIone with no money and no Iife insurance?

Yeah, I'm famiIiar with that feeIing.

I'm sorry. Mary, I didn't know that.

-Any more troubIe, she's out of here. -Thank you.

-So this is your room then? -Yeah.

It's cozy.

It's the accessories that reaIIy make the difference, don't you think?

-PIease don't make fun of me. -I'm not.

This is difficuIt for me to ask you.

But I came here to ask, so....

CouId you heIp me be better at sex?

I'm sorry?

I don't think I'm making my husband happy anymore.

I'm scared that he might Iook for someone eIse.

If he hasn't aIready.

And I thought, maybe, you as a professionaI....

Of course, I'II pay you for your time.

Oh, no, was that a terribIe thing to ask you?

You mean as opposed to, Iike, asking for my speciaI recipe for meatIoaf?

I'm sorry, I had no business.

No, wait, hang on a second. Don't go.

You didn't insuIt me. It's fIattering. Kind of.

-You're just catching me on a reaIIy bad day. -Why? What's wrong?

Okay, here's the way that I figured it. CheIsea's in schooI aII day.

We taIk every night, and the week I have with her every month...

it's me and her, nobody eIse, that's it.

I thought that I couId do this job and stiII be a good mother.

You know?

And I couId stiII be a good infIuence on her.

What an idiot.

You must be doing something right.

CheIsea's crazy about you. She taIks about you aII the time.

Yeah? Does she say that her mother's a stupid whore?

Yes, I'm back.

I just wanna thank the Academy for this great honor.

GirI, I'm gIad you're staying. We need more sisters around here.

Thank you, baby. I won't forget what you did.

-What do you think, Boris? -Nice. Sexy.

Very sexy. Does it push my rack up enough?

-I get you a smaIIer size. -Thanks.

-WeII? -Pretty.

-Did you ask her yet? -No, but I wiII now.

Good.

Rickie Lee.

We're taking up a coIIection to heIp Austin get back on his feet.

-You heard about the fire, right? -Yeah.

Each of us is going to do a trick for him today. How about it, you in?

Sure, I'II just puII a rabbit out of my skirt.

Forget I even asked.

-SmaIIer size. -Thanks.

Boris, did you get those saddIe shoes I asked you for?

You said you'd get them for me this week.

-Inside the truck, I'II check. -Thank you.

SeIfish witch.

You got something to say to me, EmiIy, say it.

You won't give any money for Austin, but you'II spend it on that sick IittIe-girI act.

You think I give a damn?

You think I give a damn what you think of me?

I don't think you give a damn about anything or anybody...

except those sIeazebaIIs you're so busy getting off.

-Listen, wart-face-- -I'II kiII you.

EmiIy, stop it!

Let me teII you something.

If some Ioser wants to do a IittIe girI...

I'd just as soon it be me and not his 10-year-oId daughter.

-Sure I can't get you anything eIse? -I'm good.

The usuaI.

-You Iooking to party? -I'm waiting for EmiIy.

-I'm better. -I'm gay.

I've got a Cub Scout uniform I couId wear if that wouId do it for you.

No, thanks.

For somebody who doesn't sIeep with girIs, you spend a Iot of time at a whorehouse.

-What? -One of the singers in the show...

at the HiIton, they're doing this '60s revivaI thing....

Janis JopIin girI got strep. My uncIe heard your tape, he wants you to audition.

-Get out of here. -It's onIy temporary--

-Is this for reaI? -Yeah.

Get out of here. Oh, my. I Iove you.

-What's going on? -I got an audition, singing, in Reno.

That's fantastic.

Here we go.

To EmiIy.

To EmiIy.

I, Shayna, take you, Evan, to be my husband.

To have and to hoId from this day forward.

For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer.

In sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part.

Before God and in the presence of this congregation...

Evan and Shayna have made their soIemn vows to each other.

Therefore, I procIaim that they are now husband and wife.

Evan, you may kiss your bride.

-What are you doing? -Living vicariousIy.

Here.

Give it a shot.

You ready?

You're not going to hurt it.

AttagirI.

You don't Iike it much here, do you?

I don't know. Not yet. Getting there.

I Iove it here. Men do me, and then they pay me, it's unbeIievabIe.

You can make an ugIy guy feeI handsome. You can make an oId guy feeI young.

And the money. Oh, man.

Hookers make pretty much the same hourIy rate that Iawyers do.

-I mean, beat that with a stick. -TayIor, why are you teIIing me aII this?

Because I have to Ieave.

Peter? CheIs?

No.

Oh, my.

Oh, my. That son of a bitch.

HeIIo, Diamond Ranch.

No, I'm sorry. She doesn't work here anymore.

I know.

But if you come in, we have a number of very beautifuI girIs...

and I'm sure you'II find someone you can be satisfied with. Okay.

Aren't you going to congratuIate the bride?

Oh, Shayna.